buzz bissingers gucci addiction

http://www.gq.com/images/news-and-politics/2013/04/buzz-bissinger/buzz-bissinger-2.jpg

I own eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves. Those who conclude from this that I have a leather fetish, an extreme leather fetish, get a grand prize of zero. And those who are familiar with my choices will sign affidavits attesting to the fact that I wear leather every day. The self-expression feels glorious, an indispensable part of me. As a stranger said after admiring my look in a Gucci burgundy jacquard velvet jacket and a Burberry black patent leather trench, "You don't give a fuck."

http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201304/buzz-bissinger-shopaholic-gucci-addiction

im flabbergasted

gobsmacked

this cant be real

230 leather gloves, 0 fucks given

buzz may want to double check whether he has a leather fetish or not

he clearly give so little of a fuck about all of this

I own forty-three pieces of Gucci—twelve leather jackets, six evening jackets, five pairs of pants, six pairs of boots, four shirts, seven pairs of gloves, and three scarves. I own items from Acne, Affliction, Alexander McQueen, Alexander Wang, Balmain, Band of Outsiders, Belstaff, Bottega Veneta, Brooks Brothers, Burberry, Chanel, Charles David, Diane von Furstenberg, Helmut Lang, Ines, Jan Hilmer, J.Crew, Jimmy Choo, Jitrois, Jos. A. Bank, Joseph, Junker Designs, Loewe, Lucchese, Marc Jacobs, Mr. S Leather, Nike, Northbound Leather, Prada, Rag & Bone, Ralph Lauren, Roberto Cavalli, Saint Laurent, 7 For All Mankind, Thomas Wylde, Valentino, Versace, and Wesco. I also have had several pieces custom-made for me by an amazing designer named Carla Dawn Behrle, who specializes in leather; they're worth every penny and more, given her fastidiousness and attention to detail. I apologize to those letters of the alphabet I have not gotten to yet. Zara, don't give up hope.

I keep meticulous track of my finances on my computer. Most of the categories of spending are under relative control. Except for the category of clothing, which goes on for nearly eight pages in very tiny type.

It wasn't until the preparation of this story that I actually took a detailed look at the items I have purchased from 2010 through 2012. I was afraid, quite candidly, although a total of a quarter of a million dollars would not have fazed me.

I was somewhat off:

$587,412.97.

I like turning around and seeing the poor lost souls in the gulag of the higher rows. I hope they hate me, chattering chipmunks trying to figure out who the fuck is this poseur, or however it's said in Fashion Italian. Then again, I don't see them dressed to kill, in an $8,000 Gucci pony-hair jacket that no one else in the U.S. has and wax-coated black jeans, shiny and sheeny and sizzling.

items from jos. a. bank, get real buzz

Before I started shopping with her at Gucci, I could count on one finger the number of compliments I got from strangers on what I was wearing. Now I get dozens, 99 percent of them from women and gays and African-Americans who appreciate go-for-it style. No wonder male heterosexual whites are aimed toward obsolescence, boring the rest of us to death.

haha what on earth

But women's fashion is still infinitely more interesting and has an unfair monopoly on feeling sexy, and if the clothing you wear makes you feel the way you want to feel, liberated and alive, then fucking wear it.

this is an onion article, this is an onion article, this is....

shiny and sheeny and sizzling

"Done," I say to my chaperone for the trip, the area assistant manager for men's ready-to-wear at the Fifth Avenue store. She is the Perfect Shadow, smart and tasteful but never forcing an item of clothing upon me. The Perfect Shadow has been carefully briefed by the Divine Stylist about my tastes. I don't ask about the price of the motorcycle jacket. The needle is in.

I see a pair of tight equestrian-style pants that will go well with the jacket. Done. I see a twill evening jacket with tuxedo lapels, different from anything I have, cut short in the style of the collection. Done. I see two sweaters, one black and one brown, with beautiful handsewn patterns that will soften my usual hard edge. Done. But some restraint is settling in.

what is happening

did he really make that much money off friday night lights

there's also the small matter of his inheritance of a tremendous fortune

http://sportsjournalism.org/wp-content/uploads/wp_sportsjournalism_org_/image/02-WolaninM-Seminar%20(8%20of%2011).jpg

look at those D&G frames. and that nice stiff cotton

I suddenly felt an erection in those pants, as wonderful as it was troubling, since observable blooming bulges never had any upside at prep school. But I experienced a sexual vitality I had never felt before in my life.

i...

Maybe what I really am is an extreme narcissist.

GEE, YA THINK?

I bought dozens of stretch jeans and leather leggings and leather pants that sculpted my lower body the way I wanted, with no room for speculation.

oh god, buzz.

I bought dozens of boots, some with a flat or low heel that any man can wear, some with five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear.

Lisa in general liked the rocker look. But there were times I was too outrageous for her taste, and she began to feel like she was living with a hoarder. The kids liked the flair, maybe, but there were times they seemed embarrassed, or simply stunned. My friends, particularly those from Philadelphia, were appalled and confused and amused. With the exception of Lisa, nobody had any real idea of the extent of my addiction.

they all hate you, im very sorry

Buzz Bissinger is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair, and posts regularly at styleforum.net under gucci_lover69

this midlife crisis would not be so patently horrifying if he had also maybe hired a full-time personal trainer and a nutritionist because holy god buzz what are you doing, you realize that you have the same body as before right? buzz? hello?

this midlife crisis would not be so patently horrifying if it happened to someone who was less unpleasant

I began to seek sexual expression in the form of high fashion, men's because I liked the hardness and women's because I liked the sexiness. Blended together, it became a rocker look, particularly with the three skull rings on each hand to fit my usual dark mood.

oh buzz

also if he had slightly better taste

I did engage in a relationship with a dominatrix after the failure of my second marriage. I left the scene after two years. But I clearly missed it, the trappings of leather increasingly irresistible. I liked extreme feelings of restraint and taking pain. But I was also interested in everything.

During the Gucci trip a fellow invitee said I looked like "Bon Jovi," a compliment that at this point in my life means more to me than any piece of writing.

oh honey... that was not intended as a compliment.

xp but he doesn't have a leather fetish

....

http://cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/2012-09-26-18-12-35.jpg

buzz

@ what pt has lag**n started making these up and not c&p'ing

During the Gucci trip a fellow invitee said I looked like "Bon Jovi," a compliment that at this point in my life means more to me than any piece of writing.

oh honey... that was not intended as a compliment.

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 11:19 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:(

http://ksr.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/buzz-bissinger-angry-elf.jpg

caption: "I suddenly felt an erection in those pants"

what would really round his look out is a ponytail

haha otm, the greasy greying ponytail of depair

T/S: having your personal style compared to Bon Jovi vs. having your personal style compared to Bon Iver

I grew a ponytail. I bought 50 different Gucci hair ties. I bought 25 Fendi. I asked a gay black to pull on my new sensual ponytail, to which he replied "Girlfriend you are one hot mess!" That's right I am a hot mess, a hot rocker mess. I bought more leathers. I constructed a closet for my leathers.

this is all too real

the quivering, leather-clad sensuality of buzz bissinger

too real

I bought a skateboard. A leather skateboard. I ollied over my teenage self.

I went to Brooks Brothers late at night. Dressed in my leathers. I masturbated on the window. Something I had never been able to do.

i dont care about rich people buying leather jackets but seriously please stop saying 'rocker' and stop wearing rings that have skulls on them, you are like 60, jeez

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE SEX TOURISM??

I also went to Hong Kong and Macao with some friends. We went to sex clubs, many, many sex clubs with many, many women. We became tired. Four days seemed like four years.

he is a terrible person

by the time i got to that part i was just like of course you are a sex tourist

Although having yelled that, I'm not sure what else to say about it. Kinda leaning towards "this man is an odious blot" but hey, at least the cup overflowething with entitlement is clearly visible in this one instead of being hidden behind bowties and WASPy manners?

yeah i feel like he was pretty otm abt being a narcissist, like theres nothing really good abt him coming out w all of this, except for the lolz

I found a Prada leather in my butthole. It was the same as the one i was wearing. I went online and bought a third. My wife doesn't think I'm a monster.

this is one of the most hilarious things i've ever read

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE SEX TOURISM??

i probably should've kept reading past the skull ring parts huh

I found myself submerged into the "dark web," where I could fully indulge in my dual pleasures of human trafficking and buying exotic leather goods. i bought gloves made from the skin taken from the back of a young cambodian girl. they were gorgeous. i was hooked. i bought more. a beautiful leather wallet with prison tattoos that i keep on a chain, taken from the thigh of a russian hustler. i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.

Thank you, you're a genius.

I occasionally wondered to myself why I felt the need to murder prostitutes. But then the need returned like a wave. Why ask questions. I was its slave.

i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 11:53 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

it does kinda time out, patrick bateman +30 yrs

i was about to say!

i do love the fact that he takes such pride in how many people 'compliment' him on his clothing, like he doesn't understand that most people just have the basic decency not to laugh directly in his face

*preemptive praise*

omg lagoon i love u for this thread for real

I CANNOT WAIT TO READ THAT GQ PIECE OMG THE PHOTOS AHAHAHA

only issue with the piece is that it's dying for more photos

oh god it's already delivering:

Before I left, I promised my wife I would be restrained. She is very concerned, because she knows what can happen. But inches from the runway, waiting for the smooth mannequin boys with surgically removed hips and buttocks swaying like sunglassed Gumbys with the newest designs from creative director Frida Giannini, I know the promise is useless.

waiting for the smooth mannequin boys
waiting for the smooth mannequin boys
waiting for the smooth mannequin boys
waiting for the smooth mannequin boys
waiting for the smooth mannequin boys
waiting for the smooth mannequin boys

tell me that he's trolling. tell me that he hasn't delivered this up for the sole purpose of hilarity

It has taken a while to figure out what works and what doesn't work, but Gucci men's clothing best represents who I want to be and have become—rocker, edgy, tight, bad boy, hip, stylish, flamboyant, unafraid, raging against the conformity that submerges us into boredom and blandness and the sexless saggy sackcloths that most men walk around in like zombies without the cinematic excitement of engorging flesh.

it's like he's possessed by Don Simpson

please tell me it ends with him snorting rails of coke off a Gucci model in his hotel room

what in the

whoever said he's like grownup Patrick Bateman upthread -- SO OTM

On Oct. 8, 2012, Buzz endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

Buzz Bissinger has a future in Gucci/leather fanfic

buzza bissinger

why couldn't buzz just buy a guitar and hire some session musicians to record a horrible vanity album

why does he have to express his rocker image via pants that NOT ONLY prominently showcase his crotch and BUT ALSO prompt its tumescence

why are you so cruel, buzz

no one wants to look at the outline of your dick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7IC5MtynLE

i just came here to post this. and i thought buzz couldnt own any harder

it's like he's possessed by Don Simpson

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:34 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

i do love the fact that he takes such pride in how many people 'compliment' him on his clothing, like he doesn't understand that most people just have the basic decency not to laugh directly in his face

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:09 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha yes this is willful ignorance

what in the

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:45 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

someone needs to follow him around and get me a gif of him dancing in his leather pants a nightclub

and for ever after, whenever he douches out on twitter or vomits his egomaniac bile anywhere I can just look at the dancing gif and know that he's the most hilarious person alive

*at a nightclub

this guy owns harder than 99% of ilx, especially elmo

uh oh

uh?

lol

elmo: haha get a nutritionist u slob

*the ground rumbles as buzz, now in the form of a monster truck sized katamari ball made of gucci products, rolls over elmo and the light dies from his stupid eyes*

whatever u do elmo, dont agree to meet & fight h4a in person

Was I homosexual because so much of what I wore is associated with gays? I did experiment. And while I don't think it is my sexual being, I can tell you that gay men as a group are nicer, smarter, have a shitload more fun than straight whites. Was I veering toward becoming a dominant leather master in the S&M scene, the leather fetish an obvious influence in most of the clothing I purchased and in much of high fashion itself? I did experiment. Was I a closeted or maybe not so closeted transvestite? Tom Ford makeup is divine; the right foundation and cheek blush and eyeliner and lipstick can do wonders for the pallid complexion. Thigh-high boots add to any wardrobe, although walking on six-inch stilettos for hours is just a bitch and therefore confined to the privacy of my house, seen only by the UPS man, who at this point could not possibly be surprised by anything. But a dress or skirt just doesn't look good on me, and I can't ever do a thing with my hair. The look I was going for was more David Bowie androgynous. It wasn't successful.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18ionzslzv8qujpg/original.jpg

i wouldn't mind his pants so much if he tightened up that body a little bit

#owning

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE SEX TOURISM??

I also went to Hong Kong and Macao with some friends. We went to sex clubs, many, many sex clubs with many, many women. We became tired. Four days seemed like four years.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 11:39 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

there were so many buzz-types around wan chai... so many

imo he was going to chinese sex clubs to pick up fashion tips

We became tired. From shopping. Four days seemed like four years.

I bought a skateboard. A leather skateboard. I ollied over my teenage self.

― lag∞n, Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:35 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LOL

This is all so amazing. Good job, everyone.

Then I see a leather jacket of red burgundy with gold military buttons. It goes to the waist. I like it, but it isn't quite distinctive enough. Something is missing, until I muse to the Perfect Shadow how great it would look if it could be lengthened into a full leather coat just above the knee, almost duster-style.

"We can do that. I'll make sure we can do that."

Nobody knows the price of the leather coat yet, since it falls in the custom-made category. I breathe in. I breathe out. It is too beautiful.

"I'll take it."

The approximate amount I spent on the four-day trip is $51,000. That is equivalent to roughly a full year's tuition at my son's college, Kenyon. I think about that. The self-indulgence is obvious. But it is my money, and I have paid his tuition for four years so he will not be saddled with any loans when he graduates this spring.

i just imagine the dude's kids waking up to 43 text messages on their phone and the horror slowly dawning on them as they piece it all together.

amazing, i love that he exists

feel bad for his UPS guy

i just imagine the dude's kids waking up to 43 text messages on their phone and the horror slowly dawning on them as they piece it all together.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:15 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Then I see a leather jacket of red burgundy with gold military buttons. It goes to the waist. I like it, but it isn't quite distinctive enough. Something is missing, until I muse to the Perfect Shadow how great it would look if it could be lengthened into a full leather coat just above the knee, almost duster-style.

how can i make this terrible jacket even terribler, almost duster-style i whisper to my perfect shadow

haha it's such a douche power move

"I have agreed to go to meetings for sex addiction, since clothing and sex for me have become one."

I read this on the first flight of my vacation last week and have been resisting the temptation to post it ever since. Thanks, guys.

sex tourism

Still looking around at the crowd, noticing across the runway at least twenty-five attendees from China, the Wild West for high fashion, I feel the insecure contradiction of pride and self-doubt.

buzz does look like a chinese teenager who dressed himself by shopping exclusively at 西单 in beijing

I bought some pretty nice new clothing over the weekend and kind of reveled in it. Perhaps this was a substitute for other types of debauchery?

what the hell is this shit

im also pretty sure this article is grounds for getting buzz's personal stylist who works at gucci fired

it's mostly about finding and wearing pants that give you erections xp

The Divine Stylist, born in Iran and given her wonderfully fiery temperament, would do a sushi on them if they gave any remote indication of encroachment.

i think yer mixing yer cultural metaphors & stereotypes buzz

it sounds like she is shitting on ppl who get too close

DJP if u are reading this article for the first time like i am, i recommend this be your soundtrack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

dayo otm

There was a phase in my life in the mid-1980s, after a year at Harvard on a journalism fellowship, that I took to wearing bow ties.

well... of course

I read the first page and went O_O and now I'm afraid to go back because I expect to loudly guffaw and that's not a good look when you're in a cubicle

i'm surprised he didnt' just take hundreds of photos of himself in leather ballhuggers holding giant Price Is Right price tags

there are several things I want from my pants and none of those things is "an erection"

you're doing it wrong then

somehow I don't think I am

OH

MY

GOD

what the shit

is "do a sushi" a common colloquialism

as a simple exercise im gonna do a find and replace of 'buy/purchase' with 'masturbate'... lets see the results

I went on favorite websites day and night—Gucci, Net-a-Porter, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Vince, Shopbop, ShopStyle, and, later on, Mr Porter and Moda Operandi. I masturbated in the morning when I should have been writing, and it did ramp me up to help me write. I masturbated in bed at night, happy that the melancholia of the day was over and I had somehow gotten through it and deserved a little extra. If there was an item that I had somehow warded off in the morning, I masturbated. If something caught my eye, gave me the slightest rush, I hit the "masturbate now" button. I masturbated with my cell phone while waiting to have lunch with someone, or dinner, or a drink. I masturbated while I was having lunch with someone, or dinner, or a drink, happy when they went to the bathroom so I could finish the transaction without interruption.

OK, for some reason in the middle of all of this Elmo's double post at 11:22 is killing me.

Buzz.

If something caught my eye, gave me the slightest rush, I hit the "masturbate now" button.

the existence of this button would destroy civilization

Using the name "Buzz Boy," he hosted a daily radio talk show on WPHT Philadelphia 1210 with Steve "Steve Man" Martorano.

On Oct. 8, 2012, Buzz endorsed Mitt Romney for president.

the greatest evidence of buzz bissinger's psychosis is not that he has spent $600,000 on leather clothes, but that he can afford to spend $600,000 on leather clothes and still chose to host a daily radio talk show in philadelphia

hahahahah

otm

I bought dozens of boots, some with a flat or low heel that any man can wear, some with five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear.

getting kenan vibes

lol

still chose to host a daily radio talk show in philadelphia

― A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

as someone from philly, this is otm + it hurts me

I was getting a 'balls' vibe

hahahaha curtis

okay you guys, I really do try to be open-minded and accepting/tolerant of the harmless foibles of others, but:

Think it's easy to be different in America? Try something as benign as wearing stretch leather leggings or knee-high boots if you are a man.

the knowledge that I am not as liberal or accepting as I would like to be is drowning in a sea of belly lols

I expect you to be wearing exactly that the next time I see you.

I could totally get away with wearing stretch leather leggings to YYYs

however I am certain my balls would melt

Think it's easy to be a woman in America? Try wearing pretty much anything.

it's not so much a man wearing these items

it's really only 100% that it's BUZZ assface BISSINGER wearing them that makes me deliriously happy

I like turning around and seeing the poor lost souls in the gulag of the higher rows. I hope they hate me, chattering chipmunks trying to figure out who the fuck is this poseur, or however it's said in Fashion Italian. Then again, I don't see them dressed to kill, in an $8,000 Gucci pony-hair jacket that no one else in the U.S. has and wax-coated black jeans, shiny and sheeny and sizzling.

his jeans are on fire?

I apologize if everyone else has already covered all of this, I just need an outlet since I can't scream with laughter at work

i think the real joy of this piece is seeing everyone's reactions in real time

dressed to kill in a pony hair jacket

tee hee

xx-post - You kind of have to wear leather leggins to that show now. Seriously though.

leather leggings are fun and cool, just... maybe not a wise choice if you're a man pushing 60

ilxor males need to adopt buzz as their style spirit animal

Still looking around at the crowd, noticing across the runway at least twenty-five attendees from China, the Wild West for high fashion, I feel the insecure contradiction of pride and self-doubt. I look good. I do belong, but briefs from Jockey are taking away a little edge: At least no one can see them. Everything else I am wearing—the jacket, the pants, the scarf, the boots—has been chosen in careful consultation with my sales associate at the Gucci flagship store in New York, whom I think of as the Divine Stylist, except for the Jockey shorts.

I think he should have done another readthrough on this section because omg that last sentence lololololol

know that if I happen to meet any of u in person i expect, nay demand, leather leggings and pony hair jackets

it's really only 100% that it's BUZZ assface BISSINGER wearing them that makes me deliriously happy

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:49 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah thats what really makes this wild

He'd already established he picked his own underwear; that tag makes it sound like he's talking about the Divine Styler's underwear, by which I mean alternative hip-hop artist Marc Richardson

I want to take that tv thing he did years ago, remember when he went on that stupid Costas show, the townhall meeting where he yammered on and on about deadspin username 'ballsdeep' (which was funny in itself)??

I want to take that and paste over his suit with his ridic gucci leather clothes, and just have goodbye horses playing faintly in the background

honestly the most compelling thing about this is the oscillating tone. is he proud? ashamed? aroused? well yes, he's most certainly aroused. but is he contrite? possibly. embarrassed? self-aware? horny? very very horny. yes. insatiably horny. buzz.

he's virile MUTHAFUCKAS

LEATHERY AND VIRILE

towards the start he writes something like "i'm writing this so i can maybe force this habit into remission and help others who have the same problem" and by the end he's all "you know what, fuck it, this is who i am, i'ma do me" *hair flips*

some of these have been posted but here you go for future reference: http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/buzzs-outfits/#photo-1

NO TEA NO SHADE BITCHES. BUZZ OUT

getting kenan vibes

― Heyman (crüt), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:44 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

man i didn't want to say anything but

just a guy getting in touch with himself

at sex clubs in macau

his wife mustve been psyched to see an article that simultaneously calls her a slut AND frigid

I bought dozens of stretch jeans and leather leggings and leather pants that sculpted my lower body the way I wanted, with no room for speculation.

dear lord

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/FujikoMine/Articles/spinal_cucumber2.jpg

I stand in front of the three-way mirror wearing a mock-up and am fastidiously measured by one of Gucci's finest experts on tailoring. A second person assists him. Both of them step back for perspective. This is why Italians should run the world.

what does this mean

italians should run the world, because tailors

"i'm writing this so i can maybe force this habit into remission and help others who have the same problem"

this is just a cover for him getting off on writing about his leather pants boners in a national magazine

I remained steadfast in my Brooks Brothers uniform, except for the time my father took me to a wholesale-clothing store. There was good quality at good prices, probably because there was no hint of ambience, just racks of clothes where size was a game of chance. But I felt like I was in a New Orleans whorehouse, colors and bright checks serving as my hookers. My dad bought me a sculpted jacket with an intricate pattern of orange and black, and a pair of pants in the same colors that fit tight.

I was scared to wear them at Andover. But finally I did during a parade up Main Street on Memorial Day. I marched because of the anonymity it afforded, surrounded by a shield of other students and professors. I suddenly felt an erection in those pants, as wonderful as it was troubling, since observable blooming bulges never had any upside at prep school. But I experienced a sexual vitality I had never felt before in my life.

I never wore them again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

italians should run the world because buzz likes the way they eye his package

okay page 5 just ruined my entire day

I did not need a rundown on the many types of boning done by Buzz Bissinger

i read this at like 10 this morning, how much do you think i got done?

http://cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/2012-08-16-17-04-53.jpg?w=420

Hey Dan.

those boots are the lol

I just keep thinking "my wife would LOVE those boots" and then I remember Buzz Bissinger is wearing them and then my mind juxtaposes Buzz Bissinger in one of my wife's wrap dresses

sort of feeling like hey if buzz can wear those leggings maybe I can too then my brain shuts down

there is a guy who comes into the restaurant where i work, he's probably the same age as buzz give or take a few, and he usually wears little capris-length tights and little fur-trimmed high heeled booties with black polo shirts and a salt & pepper crew cut, and it actually works as a look.

it does help that he's petite and svelte and has excellent skin and has excellent poise and carriage

I am trying to imagine the circumstances where I would spend $600K on clothing over 3 years and the only scenario coming to mind is "clothing the kids at the orphanage"

which then leads to a mental image of a Tiny Tim analogue in Gucci leather leggings and one of my wife's wrap dresses and it's right back down the lol hole

I looked so hip that the owner of the club put us in the special VIP section overlooking the jammed dance floor.

I LOOKED SO HIP. THAT WAS THE REASON. HIPNESS.

quarantined because he wouldn't stop grinding a leather-cased erection up on other patrons iirc

he looked very hip. and gut. and moob.

I'm sorry that was uncalled for

the special VIP section is for rich people who order bottle service, ime, and a guy wearing gucci leather pants probably is going to think ordering bottle service is cool

I like the outfits where he just gives in and wears a baggy t-shirt for comfort

he doesn't seem to place much emphasis on shirts. maybe someone can find him some leather shirts.

this is insane

leather shirt http://www.theawl.com/2013/03/the-most-expensive-t-shirt-in-new-york-city-costs-91500-00

money is kind of the enemy of self-awareness isn't it. money and a shitty childhood.

and i guess just being horrible

i was looking at all the boards to see where the thread on ilx was about this

why are there not tons and tons of pictures? the clothes all sound so terrible! but i love this, i love that he buys the women's stuff too

it levels up on the crazy every page

i wonder what he got at band of outsiders though

lord how i have lold

major lols that this is on i love style

needs cross-links with Mens Trousers thread

realized that i am actually wearing a gucci sweater right now. it's very plain, no patterns or logos. i got it on consignment. i don't wear it all that much but it seemed like a good idea this morning

seriously buzz, you could spend that money at gucci on something that's not hideous.

i can't figure out who he looks like in that photo. like he should be a tag team partner for diamond dallas page?

omg yes

or an old rich dude Winger cover band

he def looks like hes in costume

ford fairlane meets medieval times

the whole thing is so weird why does he think rockers wear gucci why does he have the same old haircut why is he in his underwear at the radio station

why did somebody let him choose his underwear

the weirdest thing to me is that he isn't observant enough to pay attention to how clothes should fit. like whatever image he has in his head of whatever rocker dude is completely distorting what's right in front of his face, which is that his expensive clothes aren't cut in a way that suits him. and he's so observant about other things.

i'm always fascinated when i see people who wear really flashy clothing that doesn't fit. they seem so focused on what kind of person they think that clothing makes them, that they don't have much awareness of how it doesn't really fit them. but it's not bad, it makes life less boring

i like the way things steadily unravel. you see that picture of him on the second page, where he's transformed from a brooks brothers dude with a paunch to eurotrash nikki sixx for halloween and you think to yourself, well, there seems to be something deeper going on here. and then he's having trouble with his wife, and, oh wait, he's blowing guys but he's not gay, just wanted to give it a go, fair enough we've all been there, and now he's whipping a guy in a gimp suit at an s&m club and his teacher used to wear leather gloves when she disciplined him and now he's being choked out by a filipina hooker in wanchai and buying an ostrich boa.

love it, buzz.

i'm always fascinated when i see people who wear really flashy clothing that doesn't fit.

yeah this revelation should get his personal gucci stylist fired

i like the way things steadily unravel. you see that picture of him on the second page, where he's transformed from a brooks brothers dude with a paunch to eurotrash nikki sixx for halloween and you think to yourself, well, there seems to be something deeper going on here. and then he's having trouble with his wife, and, oh wait, he's blowing guys but he's not gay, just wanted to give it a go, fair enough we've all been there, and now he's whipping a guy in a gimp suit at an s&m club and his teacher used to wear leather gloves when she disciplined him and now he's being choked out by a filipina hooker in wanchai and buying an ostrich boa.

love it, buzz.

― dylannn, Tuesday, March 26, 2013 8:41 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark

his personal gucci stylist probably (correctly) assumes it's his/her job to just make sure buzz is happy and has had enough drinks to keep spending $50K+ per visit.. i mean, going on the description of the kinds of things he likes, you can't style that into anything else than what you get

i think there is def something deeper going on than $22K jackets here

like detached from the excessive spending, if he feels his style is over the top euro nikki sixx, go on. the "shopping addiction" angle means he can write about all of it like it's destructive addictive behavior but all of it isn't - if he can't stop himself from buying those $22K jackets, that's not healthy, but there's no need to go to rehab for wanting to look fabulous. the trouble is, he likes bon jovi

buzz

what kind of commission u think the divine stylist gets

i met somebody who was a lowly greeter at LV and she said the proper salespeople can make 6 figures a year in commissions

i want to make it clear the guy's leading a bizarre possibly self destructive lifestyle but if he called me up and asked me if i was down for hitting up a "sex club" or whatever he calls it, drink a few bottles of cristal and get blowjobs together on a disinfectant-slick vinyl bench while watching some fucked up dutch bodybuilder couple violently simulating coitus on a fur dais... fuck it, i'd be down. you can still talk to the guy about college ball or whatever still, i assume, if it get too awkward.

Internet says small salery + 3% commision

why does he think rockers wear gucci

there's something freudian going on with dad's loafers if you ask me

buzzbissinger @buzzbissinger

I see. You want my Twitter feeds to change. Fuck yourselves. Thin-skinned? Spend a minute in my shoes. Nobody comes close to what I write.
8:08 PM - 10 Oct 12

buzzbissinger ‏@buzzbissinger 19 Mar
@michaeltillery Yo. This is Buzz Bissinger. I need to speak to you about Dennis Rodman asap if possible. His style of play. 215-290-5370

buzzbissinger ‏@buzzbissinger 22 Jan
@FakeJohnBolaris I think I should be allowed to own several guns due to my meds. This is America.

Despite the many lols this thread and Buzz's unimpeachably brilliant article have brought, it's hard to shake the impression that the guy is in the middle of an epic breakdown and I feel a little guilty for laughing so hard :(

Yeah. I'm armchair psychologizing but he seems a little manic, maybe?

I shouldn't say that, though, bc how could I know. I do get the impression that there's more than just midlife crisis here.

guys, he talks about going to sex clubs

there is clearly more than just midlife crisis here

the best part about the whole article is that he writes as though he's being very introspective and deeply honest and rigorous in his self examination... and then you get to the end and you realize hes managed to convince himself that all his new weird sex shit is just an extension of his shopping addiction and not... the other way around

I think all sex tourists are fundamentally ill in some way, but I didn't think that was the popular view. Also good point.

I am still back on the "I want my pants to give me boners" thing tbh

xxp Yeah, it seems he's managed to conduct with forensic thoroughness an audit of his history, circumstances, feelings and behaviour and then apparently managed to draw incorrect conclusions about all of them. It's almost an impressive achievement.

It's probably easier to tell yourself "I am a tastemaker with a dangerous sense of style" than "I am a dude who wants to fuck pants"

He can tell himself that all he likes, but ultimately he's just shared with the world thousands of words of self-reflection which can be neatly summarised by "I am a dude who wants to fuck pants" and that's what anyone who reads it will take away. Still, if anyone can maintain the superhuman levels of delusion required to think of themselves purely as a dangerous tastemaker, it's Buzz.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18ioqanwj3387png/original.png

This is all a prank by John Malkovich, right

No wonder male heterosexual whites are aimed toward obsolescence, boring the rest of us to death.

"the rest of us"

is he saying...?

he says near the end that he's not really straight, but he's not really gay either

basically, he wants to fuck pants

that is the one glaring takeaway I got from this article

if he feels queer he of course has the right to identify as such but i have trouble seeing his journey for something beyond total dissolution on an epic budget

I keep imagining dude browsing through a record store and hovering over Fuck Buttons while going "hmmmm.... almost" and then getting to Pissed Jeans and shouting "EUREKA!"

the best part about the article is that he still writes with a tough-guy OH YEAH WELL FUCK YOU chip on his shoulder even, EVEN when writing about leather leggings & boners.

this is the tone he always uses when he writes. except now we're through the looking glass. and it's awesome.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3489b4int1ql9wr1o1_400.jpg

dang, as a Gucci style consultant all you need are like 3-4 customers like this dude and that's 6 figures in commissions a year

despite what the article says this is how i imagine his 'style consultant' looks

http://i.imgur.com/adzw9WN.jpg

http://www.uppitymusic.com/images/albums/divine_styler.jpg

the Divine Stylist vs the Perfect Shadow

I think all sex tourists are fundamentally ill in some way, but I didn't think that was the popular view. Also good point.

― carl agatha, Wednesday, March 27, 2013 8:53 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they mostly just seem pretty depressed from what ive observed, buzz would def fit right in

quoting again since it stood out to me and I agree with max that he kind of glossed over the sex stuff like it was no big deal

"I have agreed to go to meetings for sex addiction, since clothing and sex for me have become one."

weirdest quote

I can show you the world / Shiny, sheeny, and sizzling

loool

Did you guys miss the part where he said he has bipolar disorder?

I missed it until I saw it mentioned in another article

his pants have tent-polar disorder

I wonder if his aggro and ultimately ill advised defense of Lance Armstrong had anything to do with the bicycle shorts looking like a crisp pair of expensive jeggings

ha prob!

lol that's an excellent theory

I know nothing about this guy except what's on this wondrous thread (don't think I can even read the orig article) which admittedly is more than enough, but please tell me more...

he wrote friday night lights and has a history of being publicly grumpy

also wrote 'three nights in august' a v. good baseball book

though on the downside it's about tony larussa

google 'douchewagon' and you'll find out all about him lol

http://media.philly.com/images/buzz-bissinger-gq-leather-6001.jpg

what the

that's his (mentally disabled) son

in rehab:

http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/20130327_Buzz_Bissinger_in_shopping_rehab.html

this is like chevy chase's addiction to "back pills"

welp i hope he figures some stuff out

america needs shopping rehab too amirite

bummed missed the first hours of this thread.

This sort of trainwreck confessional writing is just the worst (and the salacious nature of it always results in the prose being subpar—how about that dangling Jockey-briefs clause quoted above—and the insights being limited). I guess it's nice that BB got whatever his better-than-others per-word rate is for a 6K-word-plus piece but ugh the whole "dunk the witch" aspect of pieces like this, and the Wurtzel one, and so many pieces on so many other sites, is just gross.

btw this soul baring cry for help didnt even warrant a cover line for the print mag

(also this thread made me realize that i love style exists, good job everyone)

i dunno -- i can't exactly fault gq for publishing a pulitzer prize-winner's total public breakdown. that is pretty interesting!

it depends on how it's framed, but with stephen marche defending its bravery, yeah. i guess i'm discovering new depths of my own naivety in that some ppl think this is ~deep~

it's quite the harrowing tale, I'd say it's broad but not deep

that's what he said, and she said while brandishing a whip, and she said in Mandarin

It's probably easier to tell yourself "I am a tastemaker with a dangerous sense of style" than "I am a dude who wants to fuck pants"

― the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Wednesday, March 27, 2013 1:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Should probably go in ILX posts that haunt me, but the phrase "I am a dude who wants to fuck pants" has bubbled up into my conscious thought far more than is seemly.

Note: I am not a dude and I do not want to fuck pants. Let's just be clear about that.

this is a safe space

u are among friends carl

thread now needs a picture of the self edge dude and his all-denim wedding tuxedo

there are not enough photos of buzz on the internet. i sincerely hope some noble hacker is furiously attempting to get in to his email/phone as i type this.

request selfies

you think gwb is an accomplished artist? boy do i have some jpegs for u

My only regret is that Buzz wrote this before being introduced to ponyplay

he brags about his ponyhair jacket, tho

Everyone at work who I have mentioned this article to has said to me "how do we get his number?!?"

james fallows:

Speaking of "What Exactly Is the Deal?", I have gone back and forth about Buzz Bissinger's extended "shopaholic" confession in GQ. This is either one of the most subtly skillful and elaborate April Fool's Day hoaxes anyone has ever pulled off ... or one of the most unintentionally embarrassing, you-have-to-turn-away-because-it's-cruel-to-keep-watching acts of unaware self-humiliation anyone has ever committed. Because I so greatly admire Bissinger's A Prayer for the City -- yes, even more than Friday Night Lights -- I am really hoping it's the former. And, 51-49, betting that way too.

Photo of Bissinger, after a (spoofed? this can't really be true?? can it???) leather-pants buying spree, from GQ.

his earlier pics and bipolar status make it unlikely to be hoax

is buzz okay?

thought about buzz the other day. hope his recovery is going well. i also hope he writes something about it.

i think lewis black needs to star in a funnyordie video as buzz doing selections of the GQ piece as a monolouge

ooh, good call

my god, this happened this year

I can't believe I had forgotten

buzzs rocker look never forget

wish he had capitalized on his meltdown a little longer a la charlie sheen but i am glad dude is getting help (i think)

personal shopper

oh lol is this where "done" came from?

this dude's name pops into my head every 5-6 weeks and then I giggle like a fiend

http://i.imgur.com/DcR4hkZ.png

heeeeee

in general i do my best to espouse the attitude that ppl can and should do what they want provided it's not directly harmful to others but i just reread that article and i simply cannot agree w/anyone owning 41 pairs of leather pants.

five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear. five-inch heels that only a man with real balls could wear.

just reflecting back and loling at how he never really got into shirts and just wears whatever tee w his $10k leathers

ikr? i guess there aren't that many leather shirts around.

i would buy a gucci-leather-bound volume of the gq essay, surprised no ones made one yet in fact

I own eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves.

NO SHIRTS

james fallows:

Speaking of "What Exactly Is the Deal?", I have gone back and forth about Buzz Bissinger's extended "shopaholic" confession in GQ. This is either one of the most subtly skillful and elaborate April Fool's Day hoaxes anyone has ever pulled off ...

Need a group photo of Buzz flanked by Fallows, David Brooks, etc.

so sad that i can't see buzz-bissinger-angry-elf.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Dy7gn6o.png

Now claims the GQ article was a cry for help
http://longform.org/posts/longform-podcast-109-buzz-bissinger

lol i believe i called it exactly that when it came out

http://gawker.com/5992427/buzz-bissingers-midlife-sex-crisis-metastasized-into-a-600000-shopping-addiction

a cry for leather

http://putthison.com/post/105362018283/own-the-jackets-that-nearly-ruined-buzz-bissinger

good update thank u

The prices on that auction are insanely cheap. I'll go with the Blue McQueen motorcycle jacket.

needs some kinja

The Brotherhood of the Traveling $5K+ Burberry Prorsum Made in Italy Lambskin Leather DB Trench Jacket Coat 44 NR

oh shit the diane von furstenburg jacket on auction now is the one from the photo in the first post!

Buzz wrote the Vanity Fair piece on Caitlyn Jenner

Somehow knew that when I saw this thread bump.

Wonder if Buzz will take on something similar in his public identity at some point. At the time of his article, it was like lol luxury metrosexual, but those heels...

http://nymag.com/strategist/2018/05/buzz-bissinger-guest-strategist-haul-purchases.html

still on the leather i see

I bet he looks great in those "Wicked Lester Crepito Skinny Trousers"

Paul Manafort owned a https://twitter.com/gelles/status/1024382050214862850?s=211,000 jacket "made from an ostrich” according to prosecutors

— David P Gelles (@gelles) July 31, 2018

pfft that’s little league compared to Buzz
that’s just bad taste in a jacket is what that is

Buzz weighs in:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/self-described-leather-addict-buzz-bissinger-calls-out-manaforts-ridiculous-ostrich-jacket

i feel vindicated

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1EsgqgXQAA1rcN.jpg

http://nymag.com/strategist/article/buzz-bissinger-nightly-routine.html

this guy

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a5/Fra_Friday_Night_Lights_til_Vanity_Fair_-_NMD_2016_%2826969919635%29.jpg/220px-Fra_Friday_Night_Lights_til_Vanity_Fair_-_NMD_2016_%2826969919635%29.jpg

oh my god i'm dead

buzz, perhaps more then anyone else alive today, is living his truth

In his free time, he’s at work on a book (via Harper Collins) about football, the Marines, and World War II.

this whole guy

he is so throughly a straight boomer man, and yet

he contains multitudes

its hilarious/sad how he has like zero taste in any of this shit and looks awful

his passion makes him beautiful

Side question, do we think he found that first cream while sex-touring Southeast Asia or was it just a chill cruise

As a skin-product obsessed person sans the financial means to indulge fully, I get it.
But I can’t imagine the stuff he lists all interacts that well together? I mean just the retinol alone, his face must look like it’s been saran-wrapped.

Go with god, Buzz, you beautiful icarus

https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/strategist/2018/05/22/Buzz-Bissinger/22-buzz-bissinger--photo-credit-christian-anwander-lede.w700.h700.jpg

Rock me amadeus

I like that he isn't switching over completely to writing about these things, but does all this while working on a book about football and the Marines.

Did not know about this!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee0IGgpiPss

the music in that trailer is absolutely bananas

yo this is some wildin out shit

Only halfway through tonight but this is really good, just because he is such a one-of-a-kind person.

oh I'd forgotten all about this

this thread had a lot of buzz tho

legend

Buzz is back!

“Did I really want to spend a million dollars on leather? It was an incredible waste of money. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. But … you know what? Fuck it.” — Buzz Bissinger https://t.co/fQzDsmUpiB

— R Simon (@raymondpsimon) September 19, 2022

dude looks terrible but respect nonetheless

yeah thats the punchline

interviewer comes off as patronizing, maybe intentionally idk but it was a bit much

i mean, buzz is an odd duck & maybe they were going for lols but i think you’d still get a good interview out of him if you didn’t do that

I had seen at a bookstore yesterday that he was giving a reading this week and looked up the interview from there. I really admire how he is how he wants to be appearance-wise but still practicing his craft, with a book about football during World War II.

I like how he doesn’t overexplain or overdefine himself. But it does make for incongruous interviews. Was really curious to know what the audience and Q&A will be like at this reading (but can’t go, unfortunately).

that new book sounds right up my alley imo, i am def going to check it out

Women love it. Minorities love it. White men are terrified

new ilx politics board description?

also agree this guy a legend and new book sounds great