GTFO rolling worst music of 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Y6P-FfTnY

It's overrated being ordinary-ee

*barf*

Exterminate this bullshit

GOD THIS SONG MAKES ME SO ANGRY

welp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-p3TGh46Rg

a collaboration between wyclef and tokio hotel is like some blog fever dream from 2008

incredibleop choice,it's gonna be tough to "top" that

What would this thread be without some mild white-boy reggae?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

Singing in a little girl voice with a ukulele about your uniqueness = the "I'm not racist, but..." of pop music.

i never have any sense of where these come from or who they're for. the youtube in the first post has fewer than 1k views; that last one as more than 2mil.

MAGIC! is a Canadian group whose lead singer, Nasri, is part of the songwriting/production team The Messengers who have worked on a bunch of stuff for the likes of Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Chris Brown, Michael Bolton, New Kids on the Block and Pitbull. The song Rude is currently doing very well in New Zealand and Australia, peaking at number 2 in both, and currently at 14 in Canada.

cryptosicko, are you from Canada or Australia or is this song starting to get traction in America as well?

Canada.

We also reviewed it over at the Singles Jukebox earlier this momth, but I'd been hearing it pretty regularly even before that.

http://rhcp2014.com

No shocker here but the new RHCP song is hilariously bad. Weird Al couldn't do any better.

Uhm wow....

We're sure this is actually the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and not some well conceived parody?

After noticing the terribly-designed website, I think it might be a fake. But it's fucking hilarious either way.

That appears to be a Jon Daly/Tom Scharpling collaboration.

to be fair RHCP have been a terrible band for basically their entire existence

Jon Daly did a RHCP-themed appearance on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast last year (with Zack Galifniakis) and may have even used the fake song name "Abracadabralifornia" on the show back then.

I really love the last two Timber Timbre records, so the opening line to his/their new single causes me extra pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1llevuLQ4

lol I had to stop it at 0:10.

most-anticipated thread of 2014 delivers

I said ""oh, fuck" out loud at the 7 second mark. Jesus God criminy Christmas that is the WORST.

it's too bad the lyric of "Rude" is actually sorta interesting, cuz the track is all-but-unlistenable

hahaha

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

Waste of a sweet Colin Stetson sax outro too. :(

zomg maura that track is a goldmine of meaningless affirmation!

"I am worth it / I am perfect"
"we are who we are we are"(??)
"I am what I say I am / and you are, too!"
"where I'm from / it's a kaleidoscope of what is yet to come" o_O

Will "mild white boy reggae" never die??

hahaha

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

― Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:56 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My experience exactly except the one other person in the room as I listen is an African-American woman.

Oh god! I should have issued it with a warning.

xpost to self: Lenka could take a lesson, her qualified assertions fall kinda flat—"I party by myself *in my own way*" needs more pizazz, & "*I don't really mind* what you all think" is just sad

This video is unavailable with Safety Mode enabled. To view this video, you will need to disable Safety Mode.

thanks, draconian work global policy

Here's something I discovered the other day: An EDM album from Megaupload owner, Kim Dotcom

okay I got around it, holy fucking lol

(yes I am dissecting the lyrics of the other songs posted in this thread in order to avoid having to comment on "I wanna dance with a black woman")

And just to emphasize, *nothing* they've released to date suggested they'd ever try anything that wrongheaded. I am completely dumbfounded as to why they thought that would be a good or acceptable idea.

so glad I didn't scroll down before clicking that link. mississippi nailed my experience perfectly. sweet, merciless god.

on the most charitable reading, it seems like postmodern genre satire ('Hello, I am a rock singer, expressing a prevalent rock music trope in its most-naked, least-tolerable form') but even then the punchline-iness of it falls flat for me

I should maybe add that this is my first exposure to the music of Timber Timbre

That Timber Timbre track is somehow harder to get through than the Lenka one.

the video makes it a million times worse

Were it not for THAT opening I could kinda see the video as simply a deliberately skeevy Fire Walk With Me homage and shrug it off. And yet...

OMG thank u for the Kimdotcom tip, wau

just got back from NZ and that dude was everywhere

his album of lol/posi-core self-help bangerz is chillingly "on message" throughout, amazing

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

What are the qualifiers for being white-boy reggae?

Asking because seeing the descriptor used so much for a group led by someome who isn't a white boy made me wonder. I wouldn't have used it.

Also I hate the song and think he's the one who comes off as more of a jerk thanks to some of the phrasing ('have your daughter'?)

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

― Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. At 0:05 I was thinking "Shit, what can happen in the next two seconds?" Crazy that someone would sabotage their own song in this way.

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

― alpine static, Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:45 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. There's just something about this song that manages to beat the odds.

That Kim "Dotcom" Schmitz album sounds like stereotypical German Techno music sometimes but is not that horrible

yeah, the music is competent and hitting the target that it's going for, I think it's just the KimDotCom-ness of it all that amazes me- it's got this manic positivity selfhelp vibe that is really funny to me- dude is so shameless- but yeah, it's not like miles away from, say, the Schlager-Techno of DJ Scooter or something:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygWV__SMt7M

Kim Dotcom reaching out to literally every media outlet available to raise awareness about net neutrality and his cause is more desperate than shameless - he was pretty secretive before the Megaupload bust.

And now he's trying to be the Internet Neutrality Guru

Hey, Timber Timbre, Richard Hawley wants his song back, just so he can write a better lyric.*

*A major lunchbag letdown, this one, as I really liked the first Timber Timbre album.

kim dotcom i love you

but you're bringing me downloads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqackdaUED8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPDAtWnqN0

EZ Snappin made me listen to this on Facebook so I'm now sharing it with all of you

OMG

that poor woman

holy shit

shaggs'n'b

trying to work out which Sesame Street character he sounds like, think it might be Big Bird

ThatRaw.com Presents

ThatRaw.com Presents D'Angelo & Wesley Willis

ugh Lenka, she was also responsible for this shite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ2cftjyHys

major lolz at icejjfish

aw, this is trolling and not serious; i am less interested now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgOH9VAh0mM

though i will admit his freestyle covers of "thuggish ruggish bone" and this "woman's worth" have something to recommend them. once.

that windows 8 commercial looks like steve jobs haunting microsoft from the grave jesus

"everryww-h-ee-e-e-rree" love those harmonies lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go3dsyGflGE

We're young hearts, look at us go, all we really need is a stereo
We're young hearts, look at us go, there's no stopping us we will carry on

Gorgon City waitin for love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXh8B4yWVKk

She is awful all round. Ed Sheeran protege who covered Don't Stop for a John Lewis ad.

I admire her devotion to bringing back chokers.

I feel like someone re/makes this song about every six weeks now.

Yeah, that might have been an interesting track if it hadn't been done dozens of times the last couple years.

oh god that is really bad

the line about "desperation" leaps out of the video and side-eyes the whole song surrounding it and reads it to filth

the real desperation is the music industry desperately trying to comment upon the triumph of social media, as if it were still some kind of older/wiser/truer aesthetically rocksolid platform in some kind of secure position to judge this new upstart- but when it comes up with garbage like this it only reifies its own insecurity and looks even more "tryhard"

music industry, you lookin thirsty

yeah the weird removal really is palpable ain't it
like there should be one about twerking
wait

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72WhEqeS6AQ

And speaking of twerking...

is billy ray cyrus one of those hollywood parents that lives vicariously through, or rides the coattails of, his daughter's career? this video (which generally seems kinda desperate) playing-up the "twerking" thing is creepy.

Dude's not getting any Miley money anymore, so he had to reboot Achy Breaky.

lol. seriously, that's just sad.

"Buck 22 may not be a household name, but he comes from an impressive musical pedigree. The son of jazz drummer Bill Elliott and veteran pop/R&B singer Dionne Warwick..."

They must be so proud.

I would pay up to like, $10 for a video reaction of Miley watching this video for the first time.

haha.

she should record a response song. twerky jerky heart.

every single second of that is uncomfortable

IceJJFish!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq_d8VSM0nw&list=TL5vst-DuZlbek909Au7oL-lxypxQrIiTN

The new track is next level.

what the bowlegged fuck @ timber timbre and i would like that one guy to try not being so hardcore for a while

also yeah, that billy ray cyrus video just made me feel super bad for everyone involved, including me

so thread delivers

who's bankrolling icejjfish? is he doing these with cash from his own itunes sales?

omg the Buck 22 video

I think I feel the worst for Beat Freaks; I mean THIS is the door that America's Best Dance Crew opened for you?

is there a name for that stupid adverty plinky-plonky + steady drum sound on the Nina Nesbitt one? bc it must be stopped

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cANcbev6ZFc

Is that SLO THRUST or SLOTH RUST?

Don't rob them of their ambiguous name. That's all they've got going for them.

There was a sloth in the video so I'm going with the latter.

The world clearly needs another 4 Non Blondes.

Thanks for posting that BRC video, I had heard country-rap was taking over rural bars here in the south but hadn't the privilege of hearing it first-hand. Pretty much as bad as you'd expect it to be.

God I love this thread.

Billy Rae can't be making money from that, can he? It's got "vanity project" written all over it.

Slothrust had me at "flavor packet"

which Pixies songs are they plagiarizing at the end?

i guess 90s grunge revival is a thing now, eh?

billy ray looks like some kinda biker version of barry gibb nowadays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdemFfbS5H0

billy ray looks like some kinda biker version of barry gibb nowadays

― sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, February 14, 2014

not a bad look, actually, especially for his being 93 years old.

resolved: "the chainsmokers" and "#selfie" are outstanding names for a band and song, respectively, in 2014.

man annoying-"young"-deadpan-people-monologuing-over-dance-music is an established art form, ppl think they can just halfass it

Selfie is actually somewhat close to being a decent track... unfortunately the entire selfie hook/conceit has nothing to do with the content of the rest of the song.

no, but you could look at the rest of the song and the title as a commentary on self-absorbed youth culture in the social media age.

i cannot believe i just wrote that.

oh really?

i never thought about that

gee whiz

groundbreaking analysis please expound

and other sarcastic remarks

well, you see, today's throwaway culture detracts from the kind of deep social meaning that our forefathers were more regularly concerned with and th . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i think you're really hitting on something here

i think so, too. i'm converting it into a doctoral thesis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VG1bj4Lj1Q

Didn't get far enough into the song for it to explain how we all are gay.

On behalf of all people of every imaginable orientation I say "take this shit and shove it back up your ass, A Great Big World."

oh wow i didn't realize that they were even more awful than i could have imagined

Potentially counterproductively awful.

at first I was feeling sorry for the poor person who cut out all those paper shapes because they had to listen to this fucking jive-ass feelgood patting-self-on-back "ally anthem" turd of a song over and over but then . . . they probably heard the song once when the song was pitched to them for the animation job and they had their chance to barf and turn it down, so if they chose to help disseminate this then they are their own punishment and I won't shed any more tears

and i say this as a 24 karat pole-smoking faggot, by the way

I think a lot of people now owe Macklemore a huge apology.

wow. that's pretty special.

Last week, the fastest-rising addition to Billboard’s Hot Rap Songs chart was neither a rap song, nor a hot song. It had been released just a week prior, and there was rapping. But Buck 22’s “Achy Breaky 2” — a literal sequel to Billy Ray Cyrus’s hit, “Achy Breaky Heart,” featuring Miley’s 52-year-old dad on the hook — bears none of the hallmarks of the genre. It is, however, remarkable in that it is remarkably bad: Built upon that massively successful 1992 country-pop hit, it is outfitted with peun-peun EDM lasers and bass drops, hollow drum programming, cynical lyrics, and the sub-Timbaland grumble-raps of Buck 22. Oh, and an incessant whistling, straight from the lips of a succubus. In less than a week, the song shot to no. 11 on the Hot Rap Songs chart. Its Larry King–and-alien-Playmate-starring video has logged 7.3 million YouTube views in less than two weeks. “Achy Breaky 2” is emblematic of a genre in disrepair. It is an abomination, or, at least, a practical joke inflicted upon an unwitting public. And they love it.

lol

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/fziBWwEODaY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

hate it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y66j_BUCBMY

you'd think that hearing it a million times via youtube ads would dull the impact, but no.

Movie trailers are gonna use the shit outta this one for years, aren't they?

that "everyone is gay" song is soooooooo bad omg. "accidental racist", you got competition

That American Authors song is what you get when people start writing for syncs. It's not just music for adverts, it's music inspired by adverts.

i wanted to see how many views that awful everyone is gay shit had and in doing so i added a page view :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2GVlQkn4Q&feature=kp

It's like everything good about their dad was passed down with a genetic mutation.

I thought it couldn't get any worse than that lame intro but it did, and then some...

I carpool with three other dudes and one of the guys is way into Kongos and basically only plays them when its his week. But the other guys love that band now too and they all bought the album and rave about it :(((((((

Bring this along when it's your week.

http://www.hipgnosiscovers.com/images/496_kongos_lp_us_front.jpg

The Chainsmokers' song is becoming a hit. Singles Jukebox gets to it next week. Its score will be epic.

#spoilers #butprobablynotreally

Is The Singles Jukebox going ot get around to reviewing the latest Hedley single, which is terrible yet is currently at #9 in Canada?

Don't know that I've heard that one yet, but I'll take any opportunity to give Hedley a much-deserved shit-kicking.

that whole stomp-campfire microgenre is my least favorite thing in a while

The Chainsmokers' song is becoming a hit.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 14, 2014

a big hit, i bet.

Don't know that I've heard that one yet, but I'll take any opportunity to give Hedley a much-deserved shit-kicking.

This is the one I'm talking about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjkJ9-pAXHY

Apologies on behalf of most of my fellow Canadians for Hedley.

the video's a million times worse than the song, which isn't that bad (?)

Yeah, this is the first Hedley song to not be outright unlistenable and just be merely inoffensive.

I vote for Hedley whenever applicable on my Juno ballots

So I only knew that Kongos song from the chorus/hook part that was featured heavily (and I thought, effectively) in the trailers for Leo Carax's Holy Motors last year. The whole song taken together is just...man. Fuckin' accordions.

resolved: "the chainsmokers" and "#selfie" are outstanding names for a band and song, respectively, in 2014.

Tuneyards Water Fountain

Never heard them before but this keeps popping up and its very irritating

yeah, i love that track so far and there's a dedicated thread.
tUnE-yArDs
not that we can't discuss here of course

that fucking crouching tiger future islands shit on my fackebooks

oh no, no need to discuss for me just hope i never hear it again

more like PoO-iN-yArDs

found this a a couple weeks ago, video slightly nsfw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2BYmmTI04I

"she looks so perfect standing there in my american apparel underwear"

LOL A+

that whole stomp-campfire microgenre is my least favorite thing in a while

― goole, Saturday, March 15, 2014 3:04 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

took two months for this thread to j_mp the sh_rk

ok holy SHIT @ that 5 Seconds of Summer video..... I'm going to the store, I need a drink

I mean, I thought Chainsmokers was pretty terrible, but it's at least a kind of terrible that makes sense to me...?

also, I am very amused that the 5 Seconds of Summer youtube comments appear to consist entirely of haters labeling them a 'boy band' & teen girls refuting the allegation with "nuh-uh, they play their own instruments!!!" -- is rockism returning thru the back door?!

I saw no indication in the minute of that video I got through before self-loathing set in that they can play the instruments the props department supplied for them.

might also be a candidate for Songs in which the speaker is unwilling or unable to make consistent use of personal pronouns , given the idiotic way the chorus shifts from "she looks so perfect" to "your lipstick"/"your name"/"your ripped skinny jeans"

Video's p hot tho

it would be hotter if the band appeared in women's underwear

I ws thinking it'd be hotter if they didn't appear at all, but either way'd be fine

It is very post-Blink 182/Sum 41.

the idiotic way the chorus shifts from "she looks so perfect" to "your lipstick"/"your name"/"your ripped skinny jeans"

I watched a Stevie Nicks/Dave Stewart doc the other night on Netflix, and she said Lindsey gave her total hell about doing this in one of the songs on Say You Will.

heh. I've not gotten into Fleetwood Mac beyond the singles, but if I ever decide to start, Team Lindsey all the way

5 Seconds of Summer welcome dancing to their songs from fans of all sizes

the 5 seconds of summer song is a legitimate hit now in AUS

5 seconds of down-under

https://twitter.com/AZaeProduction

Make that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4tNz8QrHN4

Straight up shoot out between tuneyards and anything mnek related

Of course there is much worse but luckily I didn't hear it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7n9mDIGD4

He never recovered after being dumped by Kelly Bundy.

Shit. I'd rather watch Corey Haim's "video diary" again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fotef2wT9wI

she on my surfboard board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board board

Technically from last year, but it's just started to pick up airplay now and wow, is it terrible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92XVwY54h5k

If you could travel back in time and kill the members of Moss Icon, would you?

"I liked it better when my car had sound." [Shaves head, annoyed]
You mean it's not satirical?!

Ugh. I remember being exposed to this song last year when I accidentally heard it on the soundcloud page that Janelle Monae's QUEEN was put on.

Oh my God they are actually named Tyler and Josh. Please delete Earth.

Did old people in the '90s react to something like, say, March of the Pigs the same way I react to twenty one pilots??

I have been meaning to make a thread for a while on the godawful overly-rhymed pop music of this weird post-hip-hop zeitgeist that seems to be forming, but "Car Radio" was definitely the missing Exhibit A

for all their obvious stylistic differences, 21 Pilots and Ed Sheeran are united by the "every line must include at least one internal rhyme!" ethos, which I assume* is a direct result of growing up on hip-hop... cuz they're probably not getting it from Cole Porter

at least Linkin Park had the good sense to use bad rapping sparingly for contrast, rather than making it the main course

* because I did the same thing when I started to write lyrics

... anyway, the thing that makes 21 pilots unlistenable to me is that he's rapping over a straight 4/4 track sequenced on a computer, rather than a funky swung drum loop sampled from some old record. the part where it goes full-on rave at 2:50 almost comes as a relief in this context

Something about that 21P song draws from bad poetry slam style.

ya I was trying to stay away from slam poetry because it's not an artform I've followed particularly closely, but my point is that "bad slam poetry" rappers ten years ago, like Sage Francis or Saul Williams (nb I kinda dug Saul Williams) made music that was still recognizably hip-hop, rather than garbage electronica

I was under the impression that latter day Weezer had to do this trend of over rhymed music.

Saul Williams frequently has something to actually say, though. This kid thinks it's the end of the world because someone jacked his car radio.

I like that he's sitting on the floor shaving his head over it

The whole "shaving your head to show devastation" thing is more effective if you don't look like you've done it before in the last month or two.

the 5 seconds of summer song is a legitimate hit now in AUS

― all is fair in love and womp (monotony), Tuesday, March 25, 2014 2:32 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

number #1 in the UK and Australia this week :|

surprised this hasn't been posted yet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M_TBnT3FJA

Oh, come on, I laughed really hard at that one. Anything that makes me laugh that much can't be all bad.

oh no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixbKrT4A38Y

lol at Tooji still existing post-Eurovision-"glory"

haha is there some explanation for this song? Pretty catchy...

5SOS : support act for the mcbusted reunion tour surely !?

That god-awful intro skit pretty much kills any chance of this being even somewhat enjoyable.

"And then the little girl was eaten up by Kim Jong-il..."

ugggghhhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGnvdys0kq4

Falling in Reverse's cover of "Gangsta Paradise" starts bad, gets worse, then...gets worse again! What an onion. I did not listen to the other tracks on this "Punk Goes 90s" album (second volume) but uh I'm good.

Try that one again...

http://youtu.be/PGnvdys0kq4

OK, I give up on formatting, but yeah.

I want to bash this songs head in with a baseball bat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmErRm-vApI

666 OMG YES TERRIBLE

that "666" was supposed to be "^^^" but I'm letting it stand

didn't realize that was Xtina singing until just now--any of her supporters care to defend this?

+ the guy sounds like Owl City with wuss implants

Five years ago before my grandpa passed away, he entered a stroke where he couldn't talk or acknowledge his surroundings. I never got to say anything to him before he passed away. I didn't get to say goodbye, but this song fits what I was going through. Before he passed away, he gripped my hand which is when I knew he was safe. When I listen to this song, I think of him, and know he is at peace. It's sad sometimes, but this is a great song to listen to.

"everyone is gay" posted earlier in the thread is by the same band

Bloody hell, so it is... that must be a hell of an album.

Who is this runt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egRlSfS8XxY

I thought I was gonna hate it, but then the second chorus came in and I was like, okay this is reasonably fun

"Those girls you paid to scream are doing a great job."

somehow, it reminded me of this SR-71 song that was recently posted in another thread--the kind of bubblegum pop that will always be around--only the style has changed (from pop-punk to... rave-rock?)

my point being, yes the production is irritating, especially on the verses; but the inoffensive blandness of the lyrics is infinitely preferable to the "American Apparel underwear" song from upthread

lol i used to like that sr-71 song quite a bit, had totally forgotten about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwVh6d6HF54

inoffensive blandness

this is a terrible phrase. blandness is exceptionally offensive

wow twenty one pilots is terrible and made extra terrifying by the video where they whip up a whole arena into a youth rally frenzy

xp I will take bland pop lyrics over conspicuously bad pop lyrics six times a week and twice on sunday

The lyrics are bland in a sleazy dishonest pickup artist way that's kind of funny paired with that guy's babyface.

Also the 30 seconds in the middle where they take away the vocal processing so you'll know he can ~really sing~ is funny to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8CxOOs7mwE

this year is going to be a banner one for shitty majorish-label rock. like 1998 proportions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYufO14DvgY

I didn't find this one too objectionable. Kinda like an attempt to merge Coldplay and the Shins, which if this is a major label thing, is pretty hilarious: way to have your finger on the pulse of 2003, guys!

that song is better than anything i've heard from, idk, MGMT

I like that Wild Cub song okay

Posting an Ark Music Pato Music World track here is a passé move I know but w/e:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SMt7H34-XM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvw-y-bpVwU

number 1 in Australia the past 2 weeks

Ugh, that seems primed to come stateside...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgszo2XTklk

Most artists, particularly female artists, who start young are in an accelerated rush to mature musically with each new album. Avril Lavigne has gone backwards her whole career and is intellectually/sonically 8 years old now.

Gwen Stefani has taught us nothing.

Not true. I now know how to spell bananas.

I'm curious about that but "The content has been blocked by SME, on copyright grounds." Am I in the wrong country?

I can't watch it now either, but I could 30 minutes ago. Oh well.

It's here
http://www.avrillavigne.com/us/news/hello-kitty-video

Aw c'mon, no LOLs for Cronk?

Well, I LOL'd...

Wow.

^This! Thanks for the LOLz

Make sure you stay tuned for the "Meow!" and the sub-dubstep drop near the end.

lol @ the backup dancers and (what I choose to see as) their barely-concealed rage

Jesus that Avril song is awful.

this is pretty wretched but it's also been out for a while? nickelback guy cowrote it but he and david hodges basically cowrote the entire avril album.

It's been out since last year, and was posted in the 2013 topic, but the video is new.

what is this even trying to be

came here to post the avril video. oh well, should've known better.

we shouldreally poll these at the end of the year, so many contenders this year

who the fuck are these people and where do we send them back to?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veoQyQbQs_Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kPQiAJv4fo

haaaa i was thinking she should just go in here now

How is that My Crazy Girlfriend thing any different from any other song whatsoever? Is there anything distinguishing about it at all?

pretty cool visuals on that Lily Allen, too bad about the rest.

The only thing distinguishing about that MCG song is that it sounds like its from 2001 or thereabouts.

The Lily Allen, however, is uniquely dreadful.

"You need to read the new article on Buzzfeed about the Illuminati"

Lily Allen is the worst. Wow, you use pointless curse words in boring R&B songs, how exciting...

yikes that Lily Allen thing- the weird cascade of wannabe-"controversial" references to other, more successful pop stars seems like a misguided re-write of 50 Cent's "How to Rob" (or else a weird attempt to adopt a Lorde-esque stance towards pop success- which is easier to take- however dubious for other reasons-if you're a teen than if you're a has been It girl)

the lily allen thing is going to be her "bollywood" (or I guess, hilariously, kate nash album), i.e. the point where all the accumulated awfulness and hatred reaches the point where it wraps around and I no longer hate it

I can't with that Avril video
oh, she likes japanese things now

She's 29!

She's forever 14

HERE'S TO NEVER GROWING UP

i thought avril was like 50 by now

I think this girl wants to be new Avril
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bez4lCxhJTU

Thu, 2014-04-24 05:21 — bgcc01
My name is Anthony. I love yur muic. This abum is briliant I pla it all t time. When eel down tis album puts me in a great mood orjust alot betterthanI was.hanks orall you taen. I lov helo ittyalot andhe ong is grat and the videis also brilliatik our album. You should put out merchandise for the video, like t-shirts,key chains and button badges. That would be fun. My hoiuse is covered inalot of hello kitty and friends and I just got a new tattoo of Kuromi and it rules. I love your talent so like I said keep it up Thanks, Anthony P.S. on my face book page you can see pics of me and pics of my house full of hello kitty and friends.

on first listen i like sheezus better than blood on the leaves

that 5 seconds of summer song

good god

if the 5 seconds of summer song had been released by fall out boy with exactly the same lyrics bar the american apparel one y'all would be talking about how glorious it is, esp the "hey-ey-ey" hook

y'all also would have posted "summer girls" in the rolling worst songs of 1999 thread

anyway the reason i came to this thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5tWYmIOWGk

Wow, the only thing worse than depressing, dour Imagine Dragons is happy Imagine Dragons.

I'm trying to understand why this one makes me so exceptionally angry, given that its the usual bullshit from these guys. The laziness of the hook? The appropriation of the word "freak" by two quintessentially hetero douchebags? Whatever it is, this can fuck right off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUiVIPgJA0o

I don't think the word "freak" originated from queer culture?

The appropriation of the word "freak" by two quintessentially hetero douchebags?

I don't think "freak" means what you think it means?

haha xpost

Enrique Iglesias is the only performer who has ever successfully kept me from enjoying a song with Pitbull on it so I expect this to be terrible

Didn't mean to claim that "freak" had anything to do with queer culture (it obviously does not), but it is a word that people occasionally claim for themselves (and, more frequently, have tossed at them). "Appropriation" was the wrong word, though; they're not stealing anything, just (mis)using it without any understanding of any of the potential baggage.

I haven't listened to the song or watched the video but I'm pretty sure from the still that "freak" in this context means "freak in bed"

I doubt that Enrique is that either.

Oh my god, do artists have to think twice about putting out a song with "freak" in the title now, FFS

Not claiming that, and I've already back-peddled on "appropriation." Just trying to suss out what it is about this song that makes me so irrationally angry, and that's one thing I came up with. Obviously, I'm overthinking things.

it's just really horrible, simple as

I should have just left it at that.

It's bad, but it isn't thread-worthy bad.

Check your freakvilage.

it takes a village to freak a child

wait that came out wrong

overly busy rave synths + awkward multi-syllabic rhymes ("there you go" rhymes with "criminal"???) + an obnoxious vocal hook that Enrique appears to have lifted from the Pussycat Dolls' "Buttons" + Pitbull saying "skeet skeet skeet skeet" = no need to get into the semiotics of 'freak' to account for the awfulness of this trainwreck

I couldn't make it more than 30 seconds into Imagine Dragons, am I right to think that it's another entry in the insufferable "stomp-campfire microgenre"?

i'd be ok with stomp-campfire music if were just the sound of people stomping mixed with the sound of a campfire

brightblack morning light imo

campfires stomping on people forever

i'd be ok with stomp-campfire music if were just the sound of people stomping mixed with the sound of a campfire

You've just created the genre "Burning Man"

lol

I was thinking more like this http://open.spotify.com/track/11yJRn2U4Iu7Y1S5vHM5u5

brightblack morning light imo

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Monday, May 5, 2014 6:06 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm; see also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW5QCtNOLDs

The one thing I can say for Pitbull/Enrique collaborations is that they're at the very least more tolerable than Pitbull/JLo collaborations (plus I kinda dig "I Like It")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST6nEvIEY4s

what even

I believe Kasabian decided to just give up on imitating Primal Scream and start parodying 90s club music.

LOL. I can't even properly loathe them because they're from my home town either.

I know that Luda's been in a slump with his singles lately but biting hooks from Aqua? God...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_BcMJ3iuS4

would never in a million years admit it but I found that Kasabian track strangely enjoyable, having never (knowingly) heard anything else of theirs

That's as bad as the song that steals its hook from "Fu-Gee-La."

Technically some of the worst shit of 2013, but I'm told this is charting now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ba_qTPA4Ds

certainly is time for mkto to inflict their hell on charts other than the australian ones

just wait until you guys hear "geronimo"

"Geronimo" is at least shitty in a 2014 kinda way (read: Mumford/Lumineers-aping). How something that sounds like an O-Town reject is charting in 2014 is beyond me.

It sounds like a sentient issue of GQ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRTM2CvsGd0

https://www.youtube.com/v/wRTM2CvsGd0

OK, I just can't embed anything ever, sry.

Remove the "s" so it's just "http://";.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRTM2CvsGd0

Haha thank you, now everyone can see this glorious illustration to the "historical heavy metal" contained within.

I hate the new John Legend song. That "all your perfect imperfections" line particularly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn6cy_1-gzg

LOVE YOUR CURVES AND ALL YOUR EDGES
ALL YOUR PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

the FM transmitter i use to listen to my ipod is on the fritz, so i've been listening to a LOT of top 40 radio lately. i was going to see if ilx had a rolling thread on the subject but it turns out most of the songs i'd want to mention have already shown up in this thread.

ugh yeah that John Legend plays all the time at work... it's a hot garbage facial

To be fair Love in the Future is actually a pretty solid Legend album, so it kinda sucks that "All of Me" (one of the most boring songs on the album) ended up being the huge hit while the previous two singles were relative flops

wow happy birthday to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuM7hObGjWI

*barf*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn6cy_1-gzg

― ginuwine's cousin (monotony), Monday, May 26, 2014 8:53 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

gross

That is making my birthday less happy

http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/several-completely-shit-attempts-at-capturing-the-zeitgeist/127268/

woof

That is making my birthday less happy

― skip, Wednesday, May 28, 2014 4:31 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

happy birthday!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFY4Y1riC7s

http://www.popjustice.com/briefing/several-completely-shit-attempts-at-capturing-the-zeitgeist/127268/

― katherine, Wednesday, May 28, 2014 1:20 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

twerkaholic is dope gtfo

also where is 'instagram that hoe'

Enjoyed the kasabian and will.i.am tracks

Enjoyed the kasabian and will.i.am tracks

Words I will never, ever speak.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3BLywhPiF4

some candidates from the lily allen album

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aWvf7wZM2M

Sounded like M. Gira for a second there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMXW44JgySs

zzzzzz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5FYDJlo1nU

Was sample songs on some French indie compilation and then this abomination came up.

Enjoyed that too!

some finnish hip hop someone posted
galcher lustwork
mnek gorgon city
gui boratto

Maybe it's bad in French, I dunno. The video is a pretty awful collection of stereotypes and they really seem like poseurs when you consider how 'pretty' the beat is (not 'hard' at all) and how any number of indie French girls manage to do spoken-word rap without turning it into an appropriations-fest.

But musically it's not a disaster.

I wish i didnt know any bad music, feel bad putting anything down but i heard it and it was bad cant be undone

hmm maybe my standards are just low (tolerance is high)

wow that t.i./iggy song is fucking repellent

i think bastille's 'rhythm is a dancer' cover is from last year but :(

We're at the midyear point and I've still heard nothing worse than "Rude" by Magic.

^just heard that song on the radio and raced to this thread to make sure somebody had mentioned it.

I only lasted 5 seconds into "Rude"

Omfg i just heard that Kongos song in a bar for the first time.

Why.

if you make it further into that magic song you get to hear magic shreds

it is definitely going to be the worst song i hear every karaoke night

Definitely going to air guitar to that solo.

I only lasted 5 seconds into "Rude"

― Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Tuesday, July 1, 2014 4:02 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao I just told someone this exact thing before reading this thread

kiesza

wat? no way. gtfo with that gtfo.

i still like RUDE :\

Don't really understand the hate for "Rude", this is far worse imo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2dJxFIV28Y

Also worth mentioning Becky G's "Shower" (which is inexplicably the #2 song on the Billboard rap chart right now) and Florida Georgia Line's "This Is How We Roll" pop radio remix featuring Jason Derulo

"shower" is so good wtf (lol at billboard for putting it on the rap chart tho)

"rude" is indeed horrendous

rap chart is now just the hot 100 with all the non-rap filtered out—it's why 'gangnam style' was its #1 last year

holy cow, that AJR song -- I'm honestly impressed by the density of cringeworthy moments, packed into the 90 seconds I was able to endure

Horrible

i prefer "Rude" to "Shower" bc of the corny ass twee chorus

however i prefer becky g's song w/ pitbull to either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwSHgcjEZNw

I <3 Becky G

i do like that becky g song too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

Yeah, I've seen that song show up a few times on my Facebook feed and was wondering when it would show up on here.

Unfriend anyone who posts that video.

that "I'm Ready" video is the worst thing that has ever happened to me

that Becky G song's chorus is like a poor man's ripoff of Give Your Heart a Break

Wow, the Spongebob sample in that AJR song is gasp inducing. The whole song is pretty dire but that puts it over the top.

The band itself sounds like a dollar store knockoff version of Foster the People. It's rather stomach churning that we're at the point where corporate-indie acts are ripping off Foster the People.

i had been avoiding that Meghan Trainor song but finally caved when it showed up here.... it's not that bad? Like I wouldn't seek it out but it's a functional summer novelty song.

"Shower" is great, probably the first Becky G song I've really liked!

<3 that Becky G too, get it outta here!

Guys, AJR also have this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOUf1BGWjmE

well that's mystifying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2poC56ycWA

well of course they'd cover this. each member should have jumped into the fire behind them after their bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiD4S6t7zes

is it true iggy azalea's dad was crocodile dundee

I don't believe so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSeoK8l-TLA

The blatant ripping off of Betty Who does little to rescue the gross lyrics.

Now we talking astrology, getting our nails did, all Japanese-y

and man i can't wait that video for iggy azalea's 'fancy' w/o laughing, she is such a joke. it makes me like charli xcx less too. : /

that's pretty good for a Katy Perry song actually...

"this is how we do" is the best song with the worst lyrics

just noticed the distribution of accessories in the AJR video: glasses (the nerdy one), beanie (the front man), Nietzsche shirt (the bad boy)

are AJR reading this thread for ideas? because that video is very nearly a brilliant deconstruction of "stomp-campfire"

("that video" = the cover of "Hey Ho", not the "I'm Ready" video I was referring to in my last post)

I want Montel Jordan to run Katy Perry over in his big black truck :|

"Brooklyn Girls" is beneath contempt; literally the only thing that could've redeemed it would've been a well-placed sample of Tom Waits "Downtown Train" but NO SUCH LUCK

i actually laughed really hard at this but still

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsfqWopiaAw

Cringing hard at Posner's verse

I misheard "cold can" as "cocaine", & also thought T-Pain's "Platinum Bud" was referring to weed. But even if that were the case, it would take twice as many drug( reference)s to get me on board with this dreck.

IT'S HERE

http://emd.sharebeast.com/embed.php?type=slim&file=q4xxvi7jqhb0&enableDownload=false&filename=false&dur=199.5&bg=F9F9F9&border=CCCCCC&color1=00A5DF

("it" = the jessie j/nicki minaj/ariana grande hydra)

http://instagram.com/p/q4vCVXw0VA/?modal=true

http://instagram.com/p/q4xEDaw0Y1/?modal=true

http://instagram.com/p/q4_IRgw0TR/?modal=true

she's just unbearable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn7o7LtcRsM

oh my god

imagine the vitriol they'll unleash when they catch up on all those NAKED DATING episodes

WHAT HAPPENED TO DENIRO?????

Theory Of A Deadman is still preoccupied with 2005, it seems.

lol wrote that before i knew 2005 when they had their only canadian #1 single. It's titled "No Surprise," as in "it's no surprise that bitch is leaving me."

Classy dudes.

theory of a deadman's new album features guest appearances from alice cooper and joe don from rascal flatts

I can't believe their label (full disclosure: I worked there for three years) let that song be released. This was the first single from the new album:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKZ2PLTPYP8

How do those two tracks wind up on the same record?

Roadrunner or 604?

Roadrunner. Worked there from July 2011 till May of this year.

誤訳侮辱, are you saying "Drown" is much better than "Blow" or just that they've very different sounding songs?

Just curious. That "Drown" isn't horrible. I like the chorus, sorta, for the most part.

I'm so glad the spiritual descendents of Candlebox are still finding some success. (Jesus Christ, people still give bands like this record deals?)

I made it to "Kardashian" and that was it...

bwa ha ha this fucking song.

誤訳侮辱, are you saying "Drown" is much better than "Blow" or just that they've very different sounding songs?

Both. ("Drown" isn't much better than "Blow," but as a blatant Alice in Chains ripoff, it's not bad.)

Agreed.

Actually, I would say Drown *is* much better than Blow, but primarily because Blow is truly the bottom of the barrel. Drown may be mid-barrel (or a bit lower) but that's a long way up from the bottom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20EeBOBnyDU

fuck this shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYj40-cZ5vI

It's like fun. jr.

The members of American Authors met each other while attending Berklee College of Music in 2007.

Wonder if they knew the Imagine Dragons dudes. Berklee! What are your programs like these days, dawgs?

Fun with a banjo. Just what we needed.

congratulations everyone these are terrible songs

the videos may be even worse than the songs tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

xojane-core

if I found out a band met at Berklee I try not to listen to them

*find

Yeah like The Slip

OMG why did I wait so long to listen to "Blow"?!? this is INSANE

it's like if somebody dug Fred Durst's "What's Going On (2001)" verse so much that they pressed him to write a whole song's worth of trenchant social commentary

also, the still-nameless contemporary aesthetic that the video shares with AJR's "I'm Ready"

I hope, for American Authors' sake, that the Grammys add a "Most Punchable New Artist" category this year

... & here comes Cris Cab to challenge "Rude" for the title "worst thing we have Sting to blame for in 2014"--but will those dubstep wobbles be enough to put him over the top??

the new alt-j single

christ it's bad. even worse than i imagined it to be

really? Seems pretty harmless to me.

https://soundcloud.com/katyperryofficial/this-is-how-we-do-feat-riff-raff

Has this one not been posted yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl1uv6gB4hE

massive lolz, tempered with terror sweats at the all-too-plausible prospect of this becoming a genuine hit I have to hear when I go to the grocery store. her horrible voice makes me want to burn down every beauty parlor in kentucky. I swear the backing vocals during the chorus just said "singin' in your prostate" (?)

PS for a song with multiple "rock your world"s & "blow your mind"s, "drag his butt to church" is an impressively low lyrical nadir

I already hate this guy, but this is bad even for him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD2rhdFRehU

http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.17381/title.aer-pretty-lady-around-me-

Best yet.

so what do we do when we actually capture the zeitgeist? do we kill it and eat it? put it in a cage? poke it? throw it back in the ocean? is it like a fish. what did it do to deserve this

i've come to really love that jessi/ariana/nicki song tho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNnBcCk7eDA

I almost kinda like this song.

oh lol that's pink?

it isn't really any worse than the zillion other folk duos that play in chain cafes everywhere

YouplusmeVEVO

http://www.youtube.com/embed/9OGde2j3d8M

Cross Gene was due a new song but this being such a huge step down from their last one just adds insult to injury.

You+Me (Pink+Green?) is not a bad song but I hate hate HATE the aesthetic of that video. lyrics are kinda laughable too but would be easy enough to ignore if I heard it come on the radio

My first initial reaction was that the lyrics seemed pretty corny and cliched, but not completely terrible. Then I looked up who this mysterious band was and just laughed. And here I thought Americans would be spared from having to put up with having to listen to Dallas Green.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocGiulPm3IU

seriously why are we posting pretty songs when rank garbage like this exists in the world

brb leaving earth

IT GETS WORSE

Not even worth my disdain. Whatever.

jesus... kill all men

I feel unclean

redlight '90ts' and tiga 'bugatti' are doing my nut these days

Haaa how has 90ts avoided being posted itt yet. Irl gasp of horror when I first heard it, what is he playing at

oh I don't know, i kind of appreciate that he's skipped to the grisly self-parodic end of early 90s revivalism so that Australia doesn't have to invent an entire cottage industry around the notion like we did for 80s revivalism.

Really is hard to imagine a more impressively cynical and lazy exercise than "Shiny Disco Balls" X "Au Seve" X "...but I'm a 90's bitch!"

omg according to the comments apparently lots of traffic has been directed "lil dicky's" way via reddit lolololol

I mean that's p much reddit: the song

sorta more brobible: the song but yeah there's overlap

Burd grew up in an upper middle class family in Cheltenham, Pennsylvania, a township on the north border of Philadelphia.[1] He attended the University of Richmond.[2] He then relocated to San Francisco, California,[3] where he worked in account management at the advertising agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners. After reimagining his monthly progress report as a rap video, the company brought him to work in their creative department, where he wrote copy for ads like the NBA's "BIG" campaign.[1]

Rap career

Burd says he initiated his rap career "simply to get attention comedically, so I could write movies, write TV shows and act." However, he "fell in love with rapping" and says he's "not leaving that game until I've proved my point."[4]

Burd had been working on his songs and music videos for two years before he began releasing them as part of his debut mixtape So Hard in April 2013. His music video for his song "Ex-Boyfriend" went viral almost instantly, receiving 1 million hits within 24 hours of being posted on YouTube.[2][5][6] Once a week for 5 straight months, Burd released a new song or music video. Following the release of 32 songs and 15 music videos, Burd launched a Kickstarter, stating, "I've officially run out of money... In a nutshell, you are funding phase two of my rap career." The month-long crowdfunding period began on November 20, 2013, with the goal of raising $70,000 in order to enable Lil Dicky to create and produce more music, music videos, and go touring.[7][8] The Kickstarter well exceeded its target, raising $113,000.[9]

Lil Dicky held his first live concert at TLA in Philadelphia on February 19, 2014.[10] Burd has signed with Pop-Up, the management arm of creative music agency Jingle Punks.[8][11] He plans "on having two concurrent careers going on at the same time, as a rapper, and as a comedian/actor/writer."[4]

Music style and influences

Lil Dicky's style blends the comical with the relatable. According to Boston magazine, "Content-wise, Lil Dicky comes up with his material from everyday occurrences and everyday experiences. From there, he crafts his videos around those topics to create a visual narrative that accompanies his talent as an emcee. 'It’s like a comedian. They are out in the world, and writing things down,' he said. What followed 'Ex-Boyfriend' was a series of other videos that covered similarly average everyday experiences—songs about staying in for the night, songs about being a Jewish kid—he even has a rap battle with Adolf Hitler in one of his videos."[5]

He says style is a response to the excessive egotistical nature of rap today: "I really wanted to embody the exact opposite of that, and I think people are appreciating it. There just hasn't been a voice for that normal dude when it comes to rap."[5] He added, "I think a lot of rap is just escalated to a place that many people can't relate to... My niche is that I’m relatable. I don’t rap about going to the club and popping bottles."[12] In terms of his rapping skills, Lil Dicky is able "to manipulate words at an excessive speed, and weave rhyme patterns together in a way that's funny while also making viewers want to rewind parts of his videos."[5]

Burd says his musical inspirations are Drake, J. Cole, A$AP Rocky, as well as Donald Glover "as a guy with similar aspirations."[13]

idk it's basically a passable Lonely Island song/video with a less-whimsical/more-misogynistic concept

he is a guy with similar aspirations
1.2 million views is the saddest thing
you never knew you were taking asher roth for granted until now

oh i just remembered something about redlight 9ts

it is still >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 'all under one roof raving' by jamie xx

I don't think I have the strength to rewatch the Lil Dicky vid right now, but one thing that impressed me on first viewing (even if it ended up being *waaayyy* overused) was the surprisingly graceful way he works that stuttery, self-conscious, deliberately uncool anti-flow ('I'm like, wait, that didn't come out right, let me start over')--flailing around for juuuust long enough before finding another rhyme word to move the verse along. it's like he falls off the bars in the middle of his routine, but still manages to stick the landing somehow.

NB I don't think this is something anyone actually wants, though

+ trying to sell it as "the antidote" to mainstream rap is like, dude, go jump in a lake

Nickelback - "Edge of a Revolution". Cor.

http://youtu.be/IYnuSsM7tRw

It sounds like he's adding an extra syllable to the word "revolution."

After hearing that, I almost wish he'd go back to plain old misogyny.

oof that lil dicky is horrible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX-QaNzd-0Y

oh my god i hope that guy's neck explodes

Dunno. I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics, but musically that seems at best not terrible and at worst ignorable.

That's probably my least favourite hit this year, yeah. It was in the Australian charts for quite a while earlier this year. There's a follow up song too which is just as bad.

i don't mind the song but just look at him

that sound on the backbeat

He sounds like he learned to sing by listening to Wolf Parade records (not a compliment)

aka third-Bowie, once-removed

feel like that Little Dicky video should be the end of all "rolling worst songs" threads forever

little dicky song goes on for fucking ever too

Karmin and Watsky "No Flex Zone (remix)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YO0w62af5c

Barf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNWeGngQqOI

Nope.

Done on such a shoestring budget you can actually tell where he vocal takes have been cut up and pasted together.

considering what else is in this thread .... i cant endorse that post

yeah, it's certainly ragged production but aretha's earned a pass from me for life; there are parts of this that are pretty fun

oof, i did just get to the ain't no mountain part though, ow

wow that's weird. it almost sounds like one of those "brian williams rapping" youtube videos

Done on such a shoestring budget you can actually tell where he vocal takes have been cut up and pasted together.

I read this and assumed some amateur had put together a 'cover' by chopping up syllables from old Aretha vocals and sticking them together with autotune. Didn't really notice this wasn't actually the case till I got to the chorus.

Yeah just b/c aretha is a legend doesn't mean she can't fall flat every now and again. The cover is dreadful.

I guess we're finally immune to Karmin.

oh my god when she starts singing "no flex zone" ughhhhhhhhh

why did click on that?

I deserve what I get

why did I click on that, rather

Watsky's flow is like Eminem at his annoyingest crossed with MC Paul Barman at his, er, anythingest

Also repeating "the beat bump like an ingrown hair" a half-dozen times = ugh

okay, this is not THE WORST if only by dint of its sheer overwhelming wtf'ness but prepare yourself for herb alpert's dubstep reimagining of "Chattanooga Choo Choo"
https://soundcloud.com/shorefire-media/01-chattanoogachoochoo-usse91434974-1644-eqdmaster/s-G8YL5

I still lol every time the "Rude" guitar solo comes on, btw

That Alpert thing is so terrible. Yikes.

lol i listened to that alpert album. it's kind of enjoyably bad

it is! ostentatiously so. like bad enough that my gf explicitly asked me to put on headphones and she puts up with all manner of horrible music from me.

...I like this

brb quitting music-opinions-having forever

"enjoyably bad" = i like it

i can't quite commit to "liking it" but it's kind of mind boggling
get it on the jukebox kat

Shocked that nobody's linked to this yet here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2R3PxWX7hzMb8lNZs3Ngz5L/god-only-knows

not so much bad as just utterly unnecessary. i promptly put on the langley schools version and it still sounds better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMBXhDcogcI

Yeah, not listening to that.

close thread with that fallon/will.i.am joint

close music