PROLAPSE: Classic or Dud

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"The sound of your 19th nervous breakdown happening simultaneously with numbers one to 18" OR "Shambolic and random, tied to tired old ideologies that promotes idiosyncratic oddness at the expense of communicating, connecting... actually meaning anything to anyone"

Well? Tell meee.....

Flowersdie, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

take me for a long walk to the beat hotel please

Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

another great 1996 band. Killing The Bland is classic.

Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Great in both their Backsaturday-era quirk-noise incarnation and their later shoegaze-meets-postpunk-meets-early-postrock incarnation. Too bad they broke up.

charlie va, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

they broke up -when????

Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The last year or two... several of the members had other interests they wanted to pursue, like school. Or anyway this is what a jetset employee told me last year; I was talking to him 'cause I was a music director at college radio.

charlie va, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Dave went back to arts academia. Linda did a journalism course and now works on a paper in Leicester. Scottish Mick is still an archeologist. Tim got married and drums in Mark Hibbett's band. Pat was playing in Dischordia afterwards. Not sure what Geordie Mick is up to. Donald Ross Skinner is still out there doing what he does.

Prolapse were an incredible live band and could pull a fairly big audience. But the music press never really got behind them fully. I suspect people didn't value them enough at the time either. If they'd been from the States I think it would have been a different matter.

The last album (Ghosts of Dead Aeroplanes)was excellent but probably before it's time. Perhaps people were expecting more of the same shouty pop songs and got were confused to find the band had moved on.

Effectivefood, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The song where the two of them were having a shouty row was marvellous.

Conor, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Brilliant. The singles from "Backsaturday" are ace and the whole "Italian Flag" LP is very very good. The whole idea of the shouty bloke vs shouty woman vocal is something that they did better than anyone else, esp Huggy Bear and their ilk

electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"The song where the two of them were having a shouty row was marvellous."

Isn't that all of them?

Young Bob, Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Well, Scottish Mick has a new solo project in the pipeline and now has hair like an ACTION MAN. Geordie Mick plays in a pub rock band called the Pump and Tap and Linda is a top journalist on the Leicester Mercury and does pieces on the fantastic nightlife in Leicester.

Ogi, Thursday, 13 June 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I am Scottish Mick and I like girls with bobs and flowery dresses(ma pal told me to write this) and av got hair like an action man

md, Thursday, 13 June 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Pat from Prolapse went back to being a pot specialist, but he also developed an interest in ferrets to such an extent that he now runs a refuge for injured ones. He can now house up to 50 of them in his back garden!

Ogi, Thursday, 13 June 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Their fanclub Organiser/T Shirt Seller man, TURK, ran away to Canada to teach parachuting and was never heard of again.

Jeffrey Organs, Thursday, 13 June 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...
Shouty pop at its finest. Their 20 minute set at the Love Train all day festival at The Garage in London was extraordinary. Sadly missed.

DSS, Saturday, 6 July 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
No one told me they'd split up. Jeez, I spent years trying to persuade everyone how great they were. The Italian Flag is wicked, no bad songs on it at all. Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! That's ruined my day, that has. I hope you're all proud of yourselves

NOoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Tuesday, 23 July 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Their Roadie was the famous Andy Anorak who used to wear an anorak that was "almost cosmic in its groovieness" and said "Havoo! Horrid Man" alot. He used to like eating runny ice cream by all accounts...

Mushroomhead, Tuesday, 30 July 2002 00:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

nine months pass...
Geordie Mick lives in a YMCA hostel in California with the drummer from The Shits.He is a pagan monk and eats rats.

Baron Sid, Thursday, 8 May 2003 11:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Their side project "Ears go Pfffff!" was all about the aforemmentioned Mr Andy Anorak and his exploding ears.

Tony Adams (flowersdie), Monday, 12 May 2003 09:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Is anything on this thread true?

I really REALLY miss prolapse.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 15:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Alls I know is, I can't read the word "prolapse" without thinking of the word "rectum" as well.

Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 15:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I've spoken to Linda Steelyard a couple of times in her role as Leicester's answer to Lois Lane. I resisted the temptation to tell her how much I loved Prolapse, because to be honest I didn't.

Andrew Norman, Wednesday, 21 May 2003 15:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

They opened for stereolab in 1996, covering "eat yrself fitter" much to my delight.

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 15:34 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

they covered sister ray that night too! (troubadour, right g?)

also coolest band ever to have girl's lyrics song by song on one page of booklet, next to boy's lyrics song by song on another page of booklet (italian flag cd)

Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Thursday, 22 May 2003 05:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

wow, you have a good memory*

*well, better than mine.

wait, are you my stalker? oh well, sorry if this isn't about wolf eyes. i did see them a couple times about 6 weeks ago.

gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 22 May 2003 06:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is no longer a pagan monk, he was last seen playing bongos in Leicester nightclub Po Na Na for jazz funk band "The John Hogg Experience" wearing a Fez, no less.

Pripton Weird (flowersdie), Friday, 23 May 2003 11:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

That Scottsh Mick from Prolaoipse is a bit of a cyba stolker - he keps learving messges on my LJ the scamp!

Susan Brunswick, Friday, 23 May 2003 12:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I hear to cheer himself up after the Celtic result, he's decided to become a clown, travelling with a circus around Spain until September. Apparently he's going to be looking after a couple of small monkeys as well.

jortonhoopiter (flowersdie), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:05 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

>I hear to cheer himself up after the Celtic result, he's decided to
become a clown,

no change there then

mr clocktower, Friday, 23 May 2003 16:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Did anyone see the Freed Unit/Prolapse offshoot "The Inside ov a Butcher's shop" in London a good couple of years ago? A mad bloke claiming to be Pope John Paul the 3rd came in waving a gun at everybody. He ended up on stage singing backing vocals at the end. There is an extremely weird video of it available somewhere (On Outthere records?)

Romymidena (flowersdie), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 14:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

On stage? Wasn't that a Rough Trade instore? I was there & that guy wandered in talking gibberish & then started brandishing a 'gun'. Scottish Mick put his head against the 'gun' & said "Go ahead, shoot me", which I thought was risking it a little.

There's a CDr of the set. Ridiculously limited like that 1st _The Inside Ov A..._ record (the graveyard one).

Wandering Boy Poet, Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:19 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The "set" only consisted of one song, "Carnage". Which lasted about 21 hours. The cd also consists of only "Carnage", a long version and a short version. Though the copy I have certainly isn't live.

I seem to remember it getting reviewed in the album section of the NME and getting 0 out of 10. So that's them and Stereolab then. Maybe there should be a "Who got 0 out of 10 in the NME" thread.

Bouquet (flowersdie), Thursday, 29 May 2003 15:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The "set" only consisted of one song, "Carnage". Which lasted about 21 hours. The cd also consists of only "Carnage", a long version and a short version. Though the copy I have certainly isn't live.

I seem to remember it getting reveiwed in the album section of the NME and getting 0 out of 10. So that's them and Stereolab then. Maybe there should be a "Who got 0 out of 10 in the NME" thread.

Bouquet (flowersdie), Thursday, 29 May 2003 15:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

talking to yrself is one of the first signs
of madness mr wiltshire

anorak inspector, Friday, 30 May 2003 09:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"talking to yrself is one of the first signs
of madness mr wiltshire"

Is this one of the rare b sides?

Andrew Asprey (flowersdie), Friday, 30 May 2003 10:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Havoo my friend jeremy used to have a fluffy little rabbit called flopflop but it died cos of the horridness of noisy guitars.

sid moony, Monday, 16 June 2003 14:08 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"Akin to the weasel" was about scottish mick's imaginary pet weasal, who was called Jeremy and featured drummer Tim on backing vocals for the first and last time.

Boris Vian (flowersdie), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i love this thread so

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 16 June 2003 22:09 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I heard a rumour that Dave Jeffries is playing the lute in a Columbian skunk mine and he gets paid in dead flea shit.

sid moony, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 09:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i remember the first time i saw prolapse.
i am suing the london transport system....they are calling their
trains 'tube trains'!!! after all the hard work i put in and they
want to take the credit....i dont belllllieve it!!

turk - ham on hand, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:35 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The rumours true, Dave Jefferies gets 14 oz per hour, we've got Geordie Mick and his bongos (and famous fez), playing at the next event. (We're only giving him 11oz of the dead flea shit tho' ha ha )

Columbian Skunk Mine Owner (flowersdie), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Turk is that actually you? Still involved with Beatglider? I'm sure I saw their name on a forthcoming gig listing somewhere...

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:36 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Don't talk to me about Beatglider!!!!
And now DJ Jason Basin is leaving the TUBE BAR!!!!!
What am I GOING TO DO NOW!!!!!!

turk - ham on hand (flowersdie), Thursday, 19 June 2003 12:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

God I love prolapse. 'Italian Flag' was bloody great...didn't like ghosts of dead aeroplanes much though. Can't believe i've found other people who like them as much as i do...

Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Thursday, 19 June 2003 16:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Kate, you're a fool - while The Italian Flag is indeed great, Ghosts Of Dead Aeroplanes is BETTER. So ner.

And Turk, I'm sorry if I've caused you any anguish - just an innocent enquiry ;-) - I'm a Tube Bar alumnus '96/'97 vintage, see?

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 19 June 2003 17:08 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I've just spent a good few minutes trying to remember what the name of their song 'Deanshanger' was. I was getting it confused with 'Panshanger, a district of Welwyn Garden City where some of my friends lived around about, coincidentally, the time when 'Deanshanger' came out.

James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 19 June 2003 17:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Deanshanger is a village in Northants, UK that Pat and Mick from Prolapse used to frequent when doing archeology digs. They also used to go round the charity shops there so that Mick could find yet a another ceramic monkey to stick on his "toy wall".

Derrick McDerique (flowersdie), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 09:38 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

My nephews mates granny had a pet monkey who set fire to the curtains with a lighter.

sid moony, Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I heard a rumour that Geordie Mick has auditioned as bassist on Simon Le Bon's new solo album. Remember, you read it here first kids!

Boris Vian (flowersdie), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Mick and Pat are moving to Scandanvia together and are forming a band called olag the great. They have recorded a hard house tune called "viking boyz" with legendary producer Ben Keen and the girl who used to be in Tiny Too.

sid money (flowersdie), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Linda has got into watchmaking (but only as a hobby)and drummer Tim was involved in a freak accident involving an umbrella and a pair of kitchen scales. Sorry.

sid moany (flowersdie), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Freed Unit gimp Jeremy (son of) Peel is recording an album of
Prolapse covers playing only the tambourine with his 'sock monster'.

the Field Mice were unavailable for comment.

john hogg, Friday, 27 June 2003 15:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I've heard that S. Mick has tried his hand at producing, and has engineered The Haggis Collectors (two bored 14 year olds from Ayr)new single, a cover of the Ligament Blub Brothers classic "Big Shoe Boy". It's out in October on Pickled Egg.

Sid Meany, Sunday, 29 June 2003 12:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

my grandmother was telling me about her prolapsed rectum last week and for a moment I disassociated to this thread.

Queen G returneth? (Queen G returneth?), Sunday, 29 June 2003 12:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Dave Jeffries new Aztec/emo/transvestite influenced outfit "The Salt" are currently working with my nephews mates grannys monkey as producer, at Bogsheds old studio.Honestly.

sid moony, Tuesday, 1 July 2003 11:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

In a bizzare twist of fate Geordie Mick has accidently burnt all his nostril hair off while trying to impersonate Ron Mael from Sparks using only a packet of matches and some "laughing gas". S'all true.

sid mangy, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Hey Turk! The 'Glider sank without a trace, anyway. F'k'm. Has Scotia gone to Norway with Elin yet? Might be up to play at the Spread Eagle before you know it! Be afraid, youth! Love to all if you see 'em.

DRS, Thursday, 24 July 2003 16:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

In a last ditch attempt at fame Geordie Mick has tried to create a whole new own genre. He takes his BONGO METAL outfit "How Many Means Bakes Five?" out on the road in September. The tour starts at the Shed in Leicester. The band all wear Fez's to "comical" effect. Keep it under your hats.

Edward Fizzy, Friday, 25 July 2003 16:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Strange but completely true. Ex Julian Cope guitarist and Prolapse Keyboard curlyhead Donald Ross Skinner has been offered a free season ticket seat (worth £650!)in the directors box at Port Vale F.C. in exchange for writing and performing a single with the team squad for the upcoming season to commemorate the "Valiants" 127th season in existence.

Gillian Mope, Wednesday, 30 July 2003 15:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I like how this thread keeps coming back.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 July 2003 15:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Appppparently Scottish Mick got so drunk at his leaving Leicester party that his eyes completely sealed up like Rocky in Rocky 2 (or was it Rocky 3?) He had to be helped into a taxi and guided home as he could no longer see more than 3 yards in front of him. Fascinating.

Patrick Thistle, Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:53 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

just takin a break from mah pigeons to tell ya that scottish
mick is plannin to start a Stockholm Monsters tribute band called
the Oslo Ogres.

John ****ing Lambie, Thursday, 7 August 2003 09:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Awww Nawww!!! In his new job as a Norwegian fisherman Scottish Mick has been eaten whole by a whale. He was taking time out to contemplate who he liked more out of The Field Mice and The Cure and he was going to post the results of his musings on I Love Music. Now we'll never know. Ahoo! It makes ne want to cry on my teddy bear and sing big blue bus by Choo Choo Train, in melancholic sadness.

Dougie Freedman, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick RIP 1967-2003.

So sad, to end up being eaten by a whale. A victim of his own deathlist really. It makes me sad, in the same way remembering drinking fizzy strawberry vodka in the park, with a girl you no longer know, listening to a tape she made you of The Fat Tulips, Cellophane, 14 iced bears, the Marigolds, the McTells and the latest Bouquet single, Blub!

a lonely fluffy pink cloud, Friday, 22 August 2003 13:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...
Geordie Mick has retired to a rest home, called Sleeperbloke, for slightly famous ex members of mid 90's bands. He has a room in the home next door to to Neil Codling who used to be in Suede.

fat tulip, Monday, 15 September 2003 11:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

my blackened soul rejoices in the almost overbearing fear and despair
that lurks within the heart of the prolapse maelstrom.
quiver, mortals.

orchus, Monday, 15 September 2003 13:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
I remember Donald Ross Skinner bumming the little bloke from Fantasy Island whilst singing The Spider.

sid moony, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 12:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I have a picture painted by Prolapse at one of their gigs (might have ben all-dayer in Kings Cross Arts Depot). And one of the hand-painted vinyl copies of 'Pointless Walks...'. Another of their side-projects was Cha Cha 2000. They are really bloody sadly missed.

Mog, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

NB Scottish Mick used to do phone-ins on the John Peel show with updates on Kingstonians football team. I think at the time they were sponsored by Cherry Red, though whether this means they played in a Prolapse strip, is unclear.

Mog, Tuesday, 30 September 2003 14:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What you got a shiny face for?
What you wearing those glasses for, you slimy git?
Your parents must've hated you to call you "Kim"...

Let this most odd thread live on forever!

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

They will be sorely missed. ahoo.

Winston Churchill, Monday, 13 October 2003 12:06 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I met Mick (the singer) in Paris last week and he said that Mick (the bass player ?) had just got married to someone he met in a pub in the town they used to live in (Lester I think he said). His wife's name is Doreen, and she's quite a bit older than him, but she used to live in Paris.

Sophie Du Pont, Saturday, 18 October 2003 22:22 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i celebrate with one hot blast from my wacky sax.


boris vian, Saturday, 18 October 2003 23:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Scottish Mick has now joined a band with the guy from Cable but finds it difficult to break away from his famous "rants" when performing. He has also opened a ceramic monkey shop in Oslo selling all the simian pottery he has collected from charity shops around the East Midlands over the years. He often just sits there, staring at his monkey pottery, thinking about the time the little fella from Comet Gain bit him on the ear.

KittySymons, Thursday, 6 November 2003 09:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

the guy from comet gain bit me on the back of the LEG at a lungleg gig or was it on the back of my lung and a legleg gig?

mick derrick, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 12:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i as a gof from lesta i know mick he great. I got one of his ceramic monkeys it called robert smith me like his mortuary expression and wobbly fingers.

jeremy ogi, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 12:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

that 'Songs For Ella' e.p was KILLER.
the lead track... that one which sped up and slowed down all the way thru.. awesome.

ahhh... Prolapse.

ian johno (ian johno), Monday, 24 November 2003 14:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Human Bean, Monday, 24 November 2003 14:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I met Scottish Mick in Coalville once at a Hugh Grant convention, he had whale bones sown into his y-fronts and was holding Lionel Ritchie's clay head in the air like a trophy.

Sid Moony, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 15:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The continual life of this thread makes me merry.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 15:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


Justin Toper, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:08 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

shes not my girlfriend, we just sleep in the same bed!
cmon everybody, its a leicester fiesta! BRILLIANT! etc etc

son of my father, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 23:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh DREAR......

Imsorryiwasoutofmymindondopeandspeed, Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

cheer up tubeboy, have a fag.

the dolphin, Thursday, 27 November 2003 17:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


il tacchino, Thursday, 27 November 2003 18:03 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

the moose, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 10:01 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Secret Best Band Thread on ILM Ever

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 18:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

lonely monkey, seeks hairy scotsman to dress me up in a variety of clothes.
not in a gay way though, honest.

binbag the sailor, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 19:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

sad monkey, turned to ceramic by Icelandic witch, seeks hairy nosed bassist, for sessions of cider drinkin and lotsa chameleons arpeggios if you please

Paper Tiger, Thursday, 4 December 2003 11:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I cannot believe this thread has turned into a discussion about my sleeping habits!!!!??! I am FUMING!! This is the worst day of MY WHOLE LIFE and Echo and the Bunnymen were THE BEST BAND I HAVE EVER SEEN!! They were BRILLIANNNNTT!!!??!! And I DO NOT LOOK LIKE JUSTIN TOPER IN ANY SHAPE OR FOOOORMM!!! Alright?

Turk, Thursday, 11 December 2003 16:09 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...
I believe it is the right of everybody to dance to ken dodd records whenever they want.

I beleive it is my right to store 1,0000,000000 unsold mcqauid colective singles under my bed

I believe that echo and the bunnymen were the best live band in theeee worrrrllldd evvaaaahhhhh !!!!!

I cant believe its not butter.

I believe in miracles, where you from you sexy thing?

I believe everybody should come to the tube bar this saturday, its much better than that new DREARy place, Mosh, who I am going to sue!!!!

Turk, Friday, 9 January 2004 14:32 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Is it in Leicester still? Can't you do one in London? Or can't I? Hello Turk!

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 9 January 2004 14:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Pat from Prolapse has joined a Felt tribute band called "I thought there would be bungalows for the popstars". They are making their live debut at this years Pinkpop festival in Holland.

Meanwhile Geordie Mick's new band How Many Means Bakes Five plough their way through their "leicestershire and surrounding areas" tour. The world's first bongo metal outfit play the Lutterworth Pig and Playpen at 9pm this evening.

That is all.

Sidney Manic, Friday, 16 January 2004 13:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

They opened for stereolab in 1996, covering "eat yrself fitter" much to my delight.

Doesn't matter if this is true or not, but it should be.

Liar (Liar), Friday, 16 January 2004 15:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I only heard Prolapse once, a live gig on Radio One. I'd like to buy someof their records but where should I start. Are there any rareties I should be looking out for ?

James Bellamy, Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:14 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

rarities?! just buy "the italian flag" and your life will be measurably improved

the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:28 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

rarities? i suppose things like easter-eggsplotion or shared stereo...?

AndyBarratt (shooz), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:25 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Aaah!! Akin to the fucking weasel. Classic.

sid, Friday, 30 January 2004 13:05 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Get 'Pointless Walks to Dismal Places'. End of story.

Mog, Friday, 30 January 2004 13:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

It is merely the start of the story. For rarieties, check out their cover of Gang of Four's "Love like the Anthrax" double a side with "When Space Invaders Were Big". It grooves like a clive barker murder spree!

Pripton Weird, Friday, 30 January 2004 14:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

A cover of Prolapse's "Fear of Teeth" will be the basis of this years goth revival.

Its been covered by new Nightbreed band "I DREAM OF SPIRES" and rocks in a dark place, and is also featured on the soundtrack to the seminal movie, Gypsy 83. You read it here first kids!

Boris the Menace, Friday, 30 January 2004 14:28 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

That was a great single indeed Mr Weird. Oh, the Love Train single they did was fab - 'TCR' - didn't they get sent to New York to do a video for it or something? I have the promo video for 'Pull thru Barker' - v odd in an art-student's-worst-nightmare kind of way...

Mog, Friday, 30 January 2004 15:44 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Secret Best Band Thread on ILM Ever

Even more so than before.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 January 2004 15:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Fear of Teeth cover is also on the Nightbreed compilation
"Where is the Lateral Cutaneous Nerve of the Forearm?" due out next month.

wee joni ghostie, Friday, 30 January 2004 16:23 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

For rarieties, check out their cover of Gang of Four's "Love like the Anthrax" 7"

Green vinyl!!

Shooz (shooz), Friday, 30 January 2004 17:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I have the ultimate Prolapse rarity-a tape of the Italian flag out-take "The frontispiece of the plough", given to me by Geordie Mick in return for a bottle of strong white cider.

Richard Myxoematosis, Friday, 30 January 2004 22:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


How Many Means Bake Five split up live onstage at a gig at the Uppingham Working Man's Club, whilst arguing over whether they should do a bongo metal version of The Wurzels, 'I'm a cider drinker'. Geordie Mick is planning a solo project called Conveyer Belt and has already recorded a 16 minute 'shoegazing' version of Mel and Kim's Showing Out (Get Fresh at the Weekend).

The rest of the Fez wearing collective have teamed up with John Hogg (ex Incredible Cigars man) and changed thier name to Scud Muffin. They are set to record an albums worth of bongo metal madness in the very near future.

Watch this space!

The Truth, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Oh Lynskey, you're so wacky!

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:37 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

This has all just reminded me that I had a ticket to see Prolapse and Cha Cha Cohen at the Garage years ago, and my mum wouldn't let me go and I had to throw the ticket away. I was only about fifteen or something. Seven or so years on, I'm still bitter as fuck.

Kate Jane Connolly (fixitgirl), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Prolapse Rarities: I have the Prolapse DEMO Tape, AHA! Is that worth five million quid yet? This one has the first 30 seconds WIPED by the sound of me, PISSED, trying to play it when I came home from the pub, and so is even MORE valuable.

I also have VERY MUCH pre-Prolapse material by Tim The Celebrity Drummer, as he MADE me listen to it.

MJ Hibbett, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 23:00 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Hello MARK!

Do you STILL play 'Bands From London are SHIT', now that you LIVE in LONDON?

Sid, Friday, 13 February 2004 12:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

YES! For LO! I am:

a) not a band
b) not from London
c) [removed due to public disagreement]

MJ Hibbett, Friday, 13 February 2004 12:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The mystery of letter c quite intrigues me!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:14 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I think the answers in the song title!

The Good Dr Neil, Tuesday, 17 February 2004 12:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I saw Geordie Mick t'other day, he lives on Aylestone Canal with Ratty and Moley and sometimes Toady visits. They are going to set up a white cider factory together when the sales from the Conveyor belt single come pouring in....

Kenneth Grahame, Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:16 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

what, he's jumped in the canal AGAIN???

, Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:39 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

He's renting from Moley so I've heard. He has a great view of the bullrushes from his part of the hole.

Kenneth Grahame, Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:44 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

You're behind the times-Conveyor belt have split, and Geordie Mick has now formed a band called Ping with ex members of Bloom, Sikorsky and Unknown Stuntman. They specialise in loungecore versions of songs by Joy Division, The Field Mice and Yes. Geordie Mick plays a custom built glockenspiel made out of white cider bottles with varying amounts of cider left in them to make the different notes. Early reports from live gigs say they're really good but the glockenspiel tends to go out of tune as the night goes on.

Roger Parkinson, Thursday, 26 February 2004 22:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Conyeyor Belt is Geordie Micks ongoing solo project, so he cant split from himself. But yes he has formed a band called Ping, with other members. They play at a Leicester lounge bar called Pong every sunday afternoon, and free white cider is given to all attendees. It's quite good 'if you like that kind of thing'.

Menwhile Truk has run off to Argentina and is trying to recruit a Prolapse boy band (and one girl) tribute act there, the rascal. He has gathered various lookielikiees from around the country. They have got the top part right but keep insisting on wearing flip flops and bermuda shorts on the bottom half.

As Turk would say, "I dontttttt beeeellllliieevvveee iiiiitttt!"

Evvoia Cyclades, Friday, 27 February 2004 14:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Truk=Turk, sorry.

Evvoia Cyclades, Friday, 27 February 2004 14:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Turk is also going to ring Red Ken up and suggest a
bar / disco in the back coach of each tube train on the London Underground, otherwise he is gonna sue!.....

He has also been frequenting a goth club in Buenos Aires called Requiem and think its is like Leeds in 1984 except the gothesses here are far better looking.....

Sydney Wollongong, Friday, 27 February 2004 14:24 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

sydney wollongong? surely you mean bondi newcastle>

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 27 February 2004 14:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know if the geordie mick stories are true or not, but they should be.

fluffonthemallow, Wednesday, 3 March 2004 11:11 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

just picked up "ghosts of dead aeroplanes" for $0.99 at Academy Records in NYC. And it's great! Some of you already know this, but just wanted to let you know that Prolapse are still, errr...shifting units.

paulhw (paulhw), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Rah! :-) A very good find.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:46 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

i am starting a geordie mick cover band

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Are you going to recruit 5 geordie mick lookielikees to be in it with you?

fluff on the mallow, Thursday, 11 March 2004 12:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

ears go fffffffuckinhellwheresmywhitecider

fluff fluff, Thursday, 11 March 2004 13:21 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

>Are you going to recruit 5 geordie mick lookielikees to be in it with you? <

Mmmmmm... Heaven for the ladeeez

John Hogsworth, Thursday, 11 March 2004 18:12 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...
Is anyone going to see Ping at Pong on sunday ? I'm coming down from Manchester and could do with a bed for the night. I'm bringing some potatoes with me which were signed by Prolapse in 1996 which I've kept in a freezer ever since. I'm going to give them to Geordie Mick to sell on ebay to fund his next release. I wish he'd do some more Ears go Fff! recordings.

Richard Wom, Friday, 2 April 2004 22:00 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I saw Ping at Pong today and they were fantastic ! Nice to see them introducing the odd Sea Urchins cover into the set. Wasn't sure about their "ironic" cover of Britney's "Toxic" though. During their version of The Field Mice's "I can see myself alone forever" Geordie Mick destroyed his white cider bottle glockenspiel, Keith Moon style. Brilliant.

Marcia Electron, Sunday, 4 April 2004 20:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Geordie Micks new shoes are so slidy that he can sometime bearly keep upright. He sometimes slides down bannisters standing up looking like a bit like the Silver Surfer from the Fanatsic Four...

Valley girl 66, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

hey everyone...i was not familiar with this band until i started an art history class at my college this semester....and the teacher was no other than....David Jeffries...he mentioned he was in a band once when we were all doing our first day introductions...that band was i came home and checked em out and found this post so for anyone wondering what David Jeffries is up to these days he is a proffesor at Savannah College of Art and Design in the U.S.....this is not bullshit or anything its true...just thought i would share this info for the fans!!!

SCAD STUDENT 666, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 07:27 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

hey everyone...i was not familiar with this band until i started to scratch my scrotum with a cactus....and the cactus was no other than....Geordie Mick...he mentioned he was in a band once too often yawn...that band was i came home and checked em out and found this post so for anyone wondering what Geordie Mick is up to these days then you really ought to get a life....this is not true...just thought i would share this info for the dhss!!!

SCUD MARX 668, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 08:00 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
Great Noos!

Scottish Mick has formed a tightly knit Norwegian agit pop band called Derrick and the Diggers. They sound a bit like Gang of Four mixed with Sonic Youth mixed with The Fall. How about that?

Press photos below. (See how they are digging a hole to 'play' on their name. Arf!)

Goggy, Monday, 17 May 2004 15:17 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The 3 piece band's first single is a critique of the foolish monarchy in Norway. It's ironically called " I'd packed the The Travel Scrabble for when we were travelling, and the ordinary Scrabble for when we'd arrived" backed with the spoken word ditty "I hope I don't bite myself"

Goggy, Monday, 17 May 2004 15:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I believe!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 May 2004 15:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Ooooooooh, I do like his orange trousers.

Lady tron, Friday, 21 May 2004 10:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Oooooooooohhh, He's got hair like an action man.

Brenda Fury, Friday, 28 May 2004 12:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I bet he uses regaine.

Jealous eddy, Friday, 28 May 2004 12:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Hey, just noticed that The Smiths C/D thread has had 145 replies, and the Prolapse one 144, but in seven months less. Therefore Prolapse are officially more popular/influential than The Smiths. So why has Q never done a special edition featuring the inside story of Prolapse ?

Nancy Vodka, Friday, 28 May 2004 16:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Another simliarity between the two bands is that Geordie Mick used to run the Newcastle branch of the New York Dolls fan club and 'do' his hair a bit like Johnny Thunders, the little scamp!

Herbet Gin, Friday, 28 May 2004 16:20 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

To be fair, only about 7 answers on this thread are actually answering the question, the rest is supposedly 'hilarious' made up stuff about Linda's watchmaking skills etc, so I think The Smiths still win.

I would have liked Prolapse to have played my meltdown thing, I always wanted to meet Scottish Mick (sigh)

Morrissey, Friday, 28 May 2004 16:25 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

how to meet scottish mick part 476
1. put on your best flowery dress and anorak (for extra marks wear a celtic badge)
2. go to a pub and order fizzy ribena
3. start singing 'fandabbidozie' by the krankies
4. look out for a grizzled old man with action man hair and slits for eyes but no pet monkey

andrew symingtons haircut, Friday, 28 May 2004 17:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The one on the left looks a bit like Lol Tolhurst.

Micheal Lietgerwood, Tuesday, 1 June 2004 13:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
I have it on good authority that Geordie Mick is writing his autobiography, to be called Irritable bowel syndrome : My life in Prolapse and other stories. Sounds like a good read.

Martha Longhurst, Thursday, 17 June 2004 20:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Exciting news! Scottish Mick is now the treasurer of the norwegian branch of the Crystal Palace Independent Supporters Association, based in Oslo. Here he is celebrating the Eagles wonderful promotion with the secretary of the Association, Kasper Kamp.

olag, Monday, 28 June 2004 15:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
I have it on good authority that the sales from Scottish Mick's ceramic monkey shop have gone from strength to strength. He is making ceramic monkeys everyday, using a shakermaker he bought off ebay, and sometimes sells up two dozen of his individually painted monkeys everyday.

He is also thinking of branching out and opening another ceramic monkey shop in Whitchurch in Shropshire, employing Geordie Mick as a manager there, the white cider factory idea being shelved indefinitely for reasons best not discussed.

Ulrich Schnuass, Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Hi Ulrich! Nice to see you taking time out from your busy schedule.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:11 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Anytime Ned!

I was thinking that instead of ripping off bits from the Cocteau Twins and Slowdive to try sampling stuff of that new Cure album.

The only trouble is that its not that good really, so i don't think I'll bother.

Ulrich Schnauss, Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:21 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

latest sightings of scottish mike suggests that he is doing velvet underground & zappa & uriah heep covers in a tango fashion

gordon shunway, Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


gordon shunway, Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:30 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


if this doesn't work, I give up

gordon shunway, Tuesday, 3 August 2004 15:35 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Don't give up Gordon...

ulrich likes the field mice, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:27 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is possibly selling off all his records to clear his debt from when the white cider factory purchase went balls up. Currently selling all his old prolapse vinyl(as well as other stuff) on ebay. Have a looksie:-

ulrichfuggingschnauss, Friday, 13 August 2004 14:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

This band is very difficult to find on certain online p2p engines.

Dare, Friday, 13 August 2004 14:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Two months ago hHe became the manager of a female cricket team in Italy. Sadly, he was sacked a few days later.

gordon shunway, Thursday, 2 September 2004 15:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

...and here's the photo

gordon shunway, Thursday, 2 September 2004 15:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

thats strange, the last i heard of ol' rubber ear, the big bur dingy himself, he was tending goal for deportivo.
i hope he hasn't been taking lessons from julian "butterfingers" speroni.

p.s. enjoying all those bbc olympic coverage royalties ulrich??

iain dowies scary eyebrows, Thursday, 2 September 2004 16:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


That is all.

stephen hawking, Monday, 6 September 2004 21:00 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I hear on the grapevine that Pat's brother's band, Cherry Red angular punksters, 'The Tights', are reforming and doing a cover of Prolapse's semi legenderary classic, 'Tina, this is Matthhew Stone', and they have miracuously persuaded none other than William Shatner to do the Scottish Mick part! fagging ell!

Oh, and Iain's Scary Eyebrows, the royalty cheques have come in very handy thankyouverymuch, I may buy back Palace's ground back for them from Uncle Ron. The Ken Bates rumours concern me greatly...

Ulrich Schnauss, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 12:12 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The other noos have to tell you is that Pat still hates ginger cake as much as he ever did.

ulrich likes the field mice, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 12:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Although he still loves weasels, stoats and to a lesser extent, polecats. In fact anything with a long body, piercing eyes and sharp teeth.

He misses Bamboozle as you can't get ceefax in Denmark.

ulrichfuggingschnauss, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 12:39 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Poor Pat,

I know how he feels...

Bamber Boozle, Tuesday, 14 September 2004 09:32 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
The Ligament Blub Brothers? The Haggis Collectors? Has Scottish Mick been involved in anyway with either of these bands. Big Shoe Boy is a classic

stuarty, Sunday, 3 October 2004 17:25 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Geordie Mick is back! He his mulling over his options Having offered a directorship at scottish non league football team Huntly FC, whose income is derived from profits accrued by the successful Huntly and Palmer biscuit company, which the club formed in partnership with the former Emmerson Lake and Palmer drummer, Carl Palmer, in the mid 1970's. Geordie has been personally chosen by Mr Palmer becuase his bass lines on the Italian Flag sounded 'well proggy' according to a reliable source. Huraaahhh!

a reliable source, Thursday, 21 October 2004 14:34 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

You can see him in full effect here, overwhelmed by fans who asks for both winning the FA cup & a copy of the "pull thru barker" 7"!!

gordon shunway, Thursday, 21 October 2004 15:07 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
Cooking Vinyl are apparently on the way to releasing a prolapse 'best of' to be made available some time next year. Working titles for the album (which will feature some previously unreleased live tracks) have been narrowed down to, uncannily, "Prolapse: Classic or Dud?", "It would appear that Geordie Mick has consumed all the milk" or "Mitral Valve".

Personally I can't wait!

Jimmy Greaves, Monday, 22 November 2004 14:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I heard that Scottish Mick may be working with Fugazi again (still on bagpipes).

everything, Monday, 22 November 2004 22:04 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick has been offered the part as the voice of Groundskeeper Willie in the next series of the Simpsons. The money is good, but it will mean leaving his current job and new obssession, namely the making and painting of his ceramic monkeys. He has built the Oslo based ceramic monkey selling shop (called King of the Swingers), into a thriving business and is at pains to leave it now, when world domination of the ceramic monkey selling world seems inevitable.

As Willie himself would say, "Bonjourrrrrrrr, ye silk-wearin' croquet-playin' buttercup"!

lonely as an ayrshire, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 13:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

i'd like to quash these baseless rumours NOW regarding Scottish Micks new band.
1. they are not a Gentle Despite tribute band called Genital Deformity, with the record sleeve being a big hairy chookie.
2. there are no bowlie girls blowing suggestively on bagpipes in the band.
3. no dancing monkeys in funny suits either, ok RSPCA?
4. Pat 'The Dentist' Marsden is not joining the band unless its called La! Esbjerg
5. there IS some truth however to the story about a mysterious bearded throat singer being involved, i met him last week but he didn't say much, just kept muttering "bamboo...bamboo" under his breath.

anna rack, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 14:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I for one would be pleased as punch with Prolapse: Classic or Dud? as an album title.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:11 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Your wish is my command, Mr Raggett!

bloke who runs cooking vinyl, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:35 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Mr & Mrs Prolapse were the Minnie and Moskowitz of Scot indie!

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 20:43 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

What's Yr Take on Prolapse?
What's Yr Take on Prolapse?
What's Yr Take on Prolapse?
What's Yr Take on Prolapse?
Alcoholics! Messiahs!
no .... Alcoholics.

a shouty woman, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 21:43 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Linda has been getting into watchmaking in a big way, and has been asked to write a feature for the magazine "Horology Today". She apparently likes horology because "you can get a lot of satisfaction for little effort and very little outlay."

Linda is now one of the world specialists in making and mending the beautiful Oris Pendulette, an interesting combination of pocket watch and desk clock.

the clocktower, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 16:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The much delayed Haggis Collectors single is out next Monday on Pickled Egg. An outsiders bet at 1,000,0000-1 for the Christmas number one?

Scottish Mick (who is twiddling the knobs behind the mixing desk) is the new Phil Spector and I claim my five pounds!

The Wimp, Monday, 29 November 2004 16:51 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...
Geordie Mick has reformed "How many Means Bake Five" for a new year's eve special at the Landsdowne Bar on london Road in leicester. The 'white-cider glockenspeil' obsessed fez wearer wants the band to to do loungecore versions of old prolapse songs in an attempt to get his royalty cheques to amount to more than 1p a quarter, the little scamp!

Merry Xmas to you all.

Kitten on the keys, Friday, 24 December 2004 14:01 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I spoke to Geordie Mick after the How many beans make five gig and he said he was forming a new band for 2005, which will be a fusion of reggae,goth,salsa,glam,techno,loungecore,post punk,punk,new romantic, post goth, and prog. But he's not sure of a name for the band so he wants suggestions. He reads this thread and is glad that he's not been forgotten. He was going to post here himself and ask for suggestions for names for his new band but is wary of cyber stalkers. So post your suggestions for a new band name. He is offering a prize for the best suggestion- a CDR of unreleased Conveyor Belt recordings so get those band names coming in now !

Sophie Du Pont, Saturday, 1 January 2005 03:07 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Splendid Finger

Reginald Plank, Saturday, 1 January 2005 03:14 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Cunt Factory ?

Diana Smith, Saturday, 1 January 2005 03:17 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


Nakram Sinyada, Saturday, 1 January 2005 03:24 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

cyberstalkers? nobody even knows who you are!

neutron, Saturday, 1 January 2005 11:29 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong

Cynthia Wimplesnatcher, Saturday, 1 January 2005 11:49 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Hogg Machine

Geraldine Tanglestone, Saturday, 1 January 2005 11:57 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Buttered Bun.

By the way, I heard that "What A Beauty!", Scottish Mick's musical history of Rolf Harris is nearing completion.

oorwulliewallpaper, Monday, 3 January 2005 01:27 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Prolapse II

Mark Williams, Monday, 3 January 2005 12:48 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Ears go piff

The Incredible Cigar, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 11:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

goffick wang

Wee Joni Ghosite, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 11:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


cmon turk, sue me, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

pickled reg

one of the three regs, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Canada Briggs And Her Problems Down There

palace 2 villa 0, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:19 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Bavid Dowie

no.....i mean a different reg, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:24 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


"shes lump, shes lump, shes lump, she's in my bed"

Canada Girl And Her Problems Up There, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:33 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Jane Suck Died in 77.

bouncebackability, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 12:50 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

"You're witnessing the birth of Prolapse Mark 2... this is called 'Jazz Odyssey'".

lestafiesta, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 13:24 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Edward's teeth

William Nelson, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:07 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Ted Heath's Teeth on Hampstead heath

Jimmy Krankie, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Pink Octopus

Regina Kaplinsky, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Conveyor Belt II

Mark Walliams, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:31 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick Vs The Haggis Collectors: an excursion in sound

Lynne Carol, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 09:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Cat Egg

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 11:58 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Except One.

Mathhew Pimm, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 13:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Broken Parsnip.

Mark Randles, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

A toenail in an ashtray

freezeframedweasel, Thursday, 6 January 2005 10:16 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


Isadora Drunken, Thursday, 6 January 2005 18:12 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Pixellated Knob.

Karl James, Thursday, 6 January 2005 18:40 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Pube stuck on sink

The Binz, Friday, 7 January 2005 14:16 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Fat children eating chips

mjhobbitt, Friday, 7 January 2005 14:18 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

A cat hair in some gravy

Gary Bushell, Friday, 7 January 2005 14:50 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Smell of wet dog

irritating dub, Friday, 7 January 2005 15:51 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

There is much pervertalism here.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 January 2005 15:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

how many regs make five?

s. bakers day of sobriety, Friday, 7 January 2005 15:59 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

jeremy irons (his purple flared cords)

turners prize egg (pickled), Friday, 7 January 2005 16:02 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Abbatoirs

Scottish Mick's trembly leg, Friday, 7 January 2005 16:14 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Smell of a bus drivers armpit

gareth, Friday, 7 January 2005 16:16 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Gary Numan's Lip

gareth, Friday, 7 January 2005 16:17 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Pigeon eating vomit

robert smith's fave lippy is mary quant crimson scorcher, Friday, 7 January 2005 16:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Dyson Spheres

Lets build a dyson sphere!, Friday, 7 January 2005 16:30 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I like Ned's suggestion best "There is much pervertalism here" , but perhaps it would work even better as the Prolapse compliation album title? The bonus remix disc (sorry, US release only) could then be entitled "There is much pervetalism here 2".

nuclearshithat, Friday, 7 January 2005 17:49 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Stereofall Youth

Bobbieflathead, Friday, 7 January 2005 18:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Add N to Mick

bubbles 2, Friday, 7 January 2005 18:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

A punch up the trumper.

Gideon Gaye, Friday, 7 January 2005 20:20 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

FoxBox LaPlogge

nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 7 January 2005 20:23 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Lactating Rhinoceros

Our Wullie, Saturday, 8 January 2005 17:51 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

he should team up wiv Peter Andre and form a band called The Insania.

Fandabiedoozie and we feel alright! Och!

Wee Jimi Krankie, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 14:55 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Anal Grunt

Mr Bazooka, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 18:20 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The hattifatnas

the hemulyn, Wednesday, 12 January 2005 12:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

geordie mick, NOW :

joe tex, Wednesday, 12 January 2005 15:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Linda has given up journalism to drum with Thee George Squares.

Bellester Smith, Thursday, 13 January 2005 13:35 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Bellester Smith, Thursday, 13 January 2005 13:38 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Turk with companion, three time Canadian women's sky-diving champion, know only as "Lumpface".

Havelock Ellis, Thursday, 13 January 2005 13:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

"You've got a face like mine. Yer should dress up as ma monkey. I'll get a Barrel organ and yer can dance for me."

I saw The Other Mick buying minuture creme brulees in Iceland. He looked grey and translucent like a ghost and was being followed by a musical dog puppet. He told me that John Hogg had now relegated him to a conference league friend and his new band were called "Buy Me A Drink and I'll Run Up Your Phone Bill".

Freeman Dyson, Friday, 14 January 2005 10:43 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The Other Mick? Surely The Other Other Mick.

Doug and Dinsdale, Friday, 14 January 2005 14:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Has anyone heard about someone called The Other Turk? He was pointed out to me once by geordie Mick who said: "That's the other Turk."

Gregory, Friday, 14 January 2005 15:03 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Did the other turk look like Justin Toper?

Bella Donna, Friday, 14 January 2005 15:21 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Regges 3, Turks 2. And now the pools forecast...

Greg I'm Not Weird, Friday, 14 January 2005 15:50 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

did one of the guys from prolapse live in norwich in '98?

jojodanzer, Friday, 14 January 2005 15:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Remember the other Linda, aka "Bogging version of Linda" who worked at the orange tree. Geordie Mick completely failed to get off with her, inspite of drawing cartoons of cows for her all afternoon while drinking Percy's wallet dry.

Spiney Norman, Friday, 14 January 2005 15:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Twice I've seen The Other Pat while watching a film at the Phoenix. "The Third Man" and "Duck Soup". Like Pat he is in black and white.

I Know Nothing About Robert Smith's Lipstick, Friday, 14 January 2005 16:07 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Tum di dum..Even a stopped Kesh does DIY plumbing twice a day.

I love maths, Friday, 14 January 2005 16:50 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Back to the topic.

Fat Men Can't Draw Apples

Eddie the Spaz, Friday, 14 January 2005 17:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink


Scottish Micks bin eating all the pies a bit since his return ta Norway. he's also bin growing ones of those gringo moustaches.

edith peearf, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Isn't the other Turk the singer in Chicory Tip ?

Lee Begonia, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I think Geordie Mick's new band should be called Nelly Furtado's arse hole.

Weasels ripped my flesh, Saturday, 15 January 2005 18:39 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Back to topic 2:

Even my brilliant protoges know maths is wank.

Vaginal Vagina

Even Kim couldn't look at Mick when he grew his Zapata Moustache.

Come Back Alan You Fucking Wanker, Saturday, 15 January 2005 20:45 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I met Geordie Mick at Stayfree (a rehearsal/recording complex in Leicester) last night, as his new band were rehearsing. He's not decided on a name yet, but quite likes "Sturgeonwangler" and "Ming mang mong".He said to keep those ideas coming. He let me sit in on the rehearsal for a bit, and I heard a couple of their new songs, the first was called "The Flaming zip" and is a slow, ponderous folk-drone song about a recent true event, when Mick dropped a lit match in his lap and set his trousers on fire. He had singed pubes, but the ladeez will pleased to learn his tackle was unscathed ! The second song they did was more of a rocker, this one was called "Out of my head on whyte cyder and After shave", I reckon this could be a single. It's interesting to hear Mick singing-never heard him before. It's refreshing that he doesn't do what so many other English singers do and sing in an American accent. If anything he has quite a Scottish lilt to his singing voice. The line up is almost complete, they're just looking for a female singer as well. Before I left they were trying out a brand new song Mick had written in the afternoon before the rehearsal, no title yet, lyrics not fully formed, but they were something about all the bands in the 90's being rubbish, with the exception of one band who were cruelly ignored by the record buying public despite several releases on several labels and live appearances on Radio 1. He didn't name the band in the song, so I don't know who they were. Any ideas ?

Martin Monitor, Sunday, 16 January 2005 18:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

>>He didn't name the band in the song, so I don't know who they were. Any ideas ?

Jonathan Zang, Sunday, 16 January 2005 18:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Linoleum? Cha Cha Cohen? Blessed Ethel? Tse Tse Fly?

one of Scottish Mick's Billion pubes, Monday, 17 January 2005 10:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Lung Leg?

That Bloke Out of Lung Leg, Monday, 17 January 2005 10:55 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Back to things.

Geordie Mick's new band is called "Relapse."

Mitzi B, Monday, 17 January 2005 10:57 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Thought you all might like to know what the rhythm guitarist out of Conveyer Belt is up to. Well out of spite I've changed my name to Cumbrian Mick and got a job as a postman. Me and that bloke out of Volcano the Bear sit in the all new Durham Ox all afternoon in our postie uniforms listening to Boring Brian moan about the new working practices. There's been talk of us forming a super group and so far we've wasted an amazing 57 hours 14 minutes of conversation time thinking up the bands name. Latest is "Love Mizpizz F1-11".

Your auld Segotia, Monday, 17 January 2005 11:14 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The only 90s band that weren't crap were "Nonsense French".

Xavier Chirac, Monday, 17 January 2005 11:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Does anyone know what football team I support these days?

Simon Gallup, Monday, 17 January 2005 11:25 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

James Went's gone, but in the rubble you can see Leicester's crack team of indie archaeologists groping hopelessly for early Cookie Monster set-lists among the equations.

Bellester Smith, Monday, 17 January 2005 11:38 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The rosehips? The nivens? feral? The ammonites? The wendys? Five Thirty? The Catherine Wheel? Adorable?

A happy pube, Monday, 17 January 2005 15:05 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I support Reading FC, Kesh.

Simon Gallup, Monday, 17 January 2005 15:07 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick's new obsession is Hinge and Bracket and he is now taking a break from flogging ceramic monkeys to design a website for the famous duo. he's put a lot of work into it. Here it is:-

Roger O'Donnell, Monday, 17 January 2005 15:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Simon, only twats change teams. Didn't you used to be in Fools Dance? How many A levels? You're nearly sacked. You're the new Lol and have been for years. Rangers!

Robert Smith, Monday, 17 January 2005 16:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Hang on, you said "Feral"? I thought I was the only one who knew about them?

Rob M (Rob M), Monday, 17 January 2005 16:33 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Phuck Robert Palmer! Phuck Rock and Roll!

Simon Gallup, Monday, 17 January 2005 16:35 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Feral - really boring shoegazing band from Newcastle, if I recall.

Keshie McKesh, Monday, 17 January 2005 16:36 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Hey Neptune, why the obsession with an embarrasing old teacher who lives on a boat?

Robert Smith, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:33 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Action Man Hair

Rex Harrison, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:38 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I have it on the very weakest authority that Geordie Mick has given up on the Conveyor Belt tag and the white-cider glockenspiel to concentrate on harmonically tuned piano mood music.

Also gone are the Terry Riley influences and other minimalist nonsense and like some Caulfield sibling he's gone prostituting himself to Hollywood.

Tim Brook-Tinker, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:49 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

If that's too small for yous onanists, here's a picture of his difficult third album.

Tim Brook-Tinker, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 11:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

God Terry Riley! A rainbow in curved aair and "in C" and that. Is Michael Harrison like him? Had forgotten 2 sides of 25 minutes of clanking each. All in C. Ha ha ha.


David Brubeck, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 15:16 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The limited edition Haggis Collectors single (A side "Everybody wants to be a haggis" backed with the intstrumental "I dream of haggis"), released on Pickled Egg and sold out in less than 2 months, has been snapped up on ebay for an amazing £33.06!

Kesh n Carry, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 15:27 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I bumped in to Turk last Diwali. He told me in confidence that the Last "Last Ever Tube Bar" was such a roaring success he's decided to open a sister club at Creation or whatever it's called. Play list will mostly be Harry Secomb, so no change there, but it's name might be of interest: "Say No To Humps. Say No To HURMPS!"

Mitzi B, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 08:36 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Mitzi would never misplace an apostrophe. I suspect an imposter; it wouldn't be the first time on this board.

The President of Turkmenistan, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 10:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Are you having fun with your new laptop then, Kesh?

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 15:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

No, I'm skiving at work. Laptops+Boats = no internet

Collataly Sisters, Thursday, 20 January 2005 09:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

That's ok then. Did you sort that equation out that was bothering you the other day? Simultaneous equations can be little shits at the that time of day, I know. Just remember that X=5 (except on Fridays).

Colin Poppshed, Thursday, 20 January 2005 10:19 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

That one is a bugger and I've still not worked it out. Mitzi tells me the answer might involve fictional numbers, or something. How's the glorious world of sheds?

Iggy Pop Barker, Thursday, 20 January 2005 13:06 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is confused.

He has been sent a tortoise in the post by a deranged fan to autograph, with a request to dress it up as a fly and play some 'satanic' bass lines to it, whilst whistling the tune to Kid Creole And The Coconut's top tune ‘Annie I’m Not Your Daddy’. The crazed anonymous poster has then reuquested he post the tortoise on to Bernard Manning.

What can it all mean?

Suke Matterhorse, Thursday, 20 January 2005 16:19 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I'm denying the name Ming Mang Mong for Geordie Mick's new band 'cos there is already a perfectly acceptable mad band called Mong. If you download their grammatically challenged "Mong want's more!" offering here: you will hear that Mick's new venture might suffer in comparison.

everything, Thursday, 20 January 2005 21:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Turk's "The Other Tube Bar" night is infact upstairs at Firefly on 29th Jan. Be there kids.

Kevin Hewick, Friday, 21 January 2005 10:02 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Enough Morris, Suke. Back to the studio, I mean band.

Ted Maul, Friday, 21 January 2005 10:30 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Pat from Prolapse is starring in a Prolpase tribute band which he has formed in Copenhagen using stoats and polecats to make up the rest of the band and they are going to play concerts to homeless people from Greenland.

Beverly Smax, Monday, 24 January 2005 10:09 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Its official! Geordie Mick has written a new song to be sung by a sampled old Speak and Spell toy that he last used when he was 11, its kinda in da style of add n to x on mogadons. I have insider details of the song and here are the lyrics!

Measure vs calculation, by Ming Mang Mong (Projected title)

Rationals, irrationals, integers etc., have lots of interesting properties
measurements don't.

We can approximate a measurement by a number
from any of these sets, together with a scaling/choice of units, but none of
mathematical structure that makes our the number rational
or whatever remains, precisely because all measurements are approximations.

The Robert Harrison formerly known as Kesh Mongreilf., Monday, 24 January 2005 16:37 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Is it to do with sums?

The Other Robert Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:47 (twelve years ago) Permalink

hard sums

another robert harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 10:53 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Jings! Those wee, sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous teenagers The Haggis Collectors have released a Burns night single: "Great Chieftan o' the Puddin-race!" It's backed, miraculously, by a goth/burns crossover called "Trenching your Gushing Entrails". It's braw!

Neptune, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:09 (twelve years ago) Permalink

That's nothing Neptune. Haggis Collectors' 9-year-old ex-roadie Dougal has formed a band called Neeps n Tatties and released "I Wish I Was Maw Broon's Son", a deranged cover of Jeremy's rarely played classic. The B-side is, inevitably, "I Feel All Bashed and Champit". Crivens!

Uranus, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:27 (twelve years ago) Permalink

You've trumped me again Uranus. Damn you and your crazy axis.

Neptune, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:34 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Bog that's real.

Who is posting as BOTH OF MY NAMES plus "Mongreilf" on sci.math.num-analysis in 1998? And posting strangely philosophical stuff too, for a numerical analysis forum.

Rex Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:29 (twelve years ago) Permalink

It's Dale Olivier

Dale Olivier, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:43 (twelve years ago) Permalink

He of Fountainhead fame? By the way, I have spoken to Geordie Mick, his current favourite band name is Bog, Thats Real!

It works on so many different levels.

Donald Ross Skinny, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 13:51 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Here's another geordie mick/speak and spell tune, to a funeral like dirge using a bass line not to dissimilar to 'Faith' by the Cure.

It's called "Elementary Proofs"

The existence of transendental numbers used particular proofs that pi or e
were transendental, then Cantor's diagonal argument showed the Reals were
not countable and as algebraics were, transendentals must exist.

I heard about a very longwinded existence theorem for some esoteric type of
agebraic object, only for the author's student to show it only existed in
trivial case. Mongreilf rock.

Kesh Mongrielf, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 14:02 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I AM NOT GOTH! check out

Let me tell you mon, back in jo'burg life was tough for a young Goth with a puffy name.

Rex Harrison, Tuesday, 25 January 2005 16:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

It's not wonderful, but it's more than anyone else has written about Prolapse thus far this year.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 17:51 (twelve years ago) Permalink

If Geordie Mick is using Kesh (Mongreilf) as his lyricist, does he not hate him any more?

Martin Greasepaint, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 08:33 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Kesh has recently formed a Celtic Rock band, check here for details -
i always suspected there was an Irish Joe influence in his music....

Wonky Boy, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 08:52 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Not content with writing all geordie Mick's nu ming mang mong songs for him to explain his obession with imaginary and irrational numbers and BEING a band, kesh now has a folkie side project called Mooncoin to satisfy his pastural leanings. He can be heard playing the fiddle on much of what passes for covers of "The Hangmans Beautiful daughter" in many folk clubs on the norfolk circuit. Here's da link kids:-

Glebe's Thrift Funnel, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:38 (twelve years ago) Permalink

meanwhile, back in the land of pork pies, fox hunting and tj's blue cheese sauce. the latest incarnation of the leicester music scene : pineapster brings you

the pineapster communion
the attik
thursday 27th Jan 2005

House of the famous poets
the displacements

£3 entry / £2 flyer.

lo-ego have their latest prog rock ish post punk all sorts lp out now whilst the displacements have just reached the final of an xfm rock competition.

the 80's was shite......

andy black, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:43 (twelve years ago) Permalink

You do realise no one will beilive you on here don't you?

Mongreilf, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 10:55 (twelve years ago) Permalink


Turk E Heaven, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:47 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Mongreilf has never had an obsession with imaginary numbers, that's probably some other mathematician on the "Leicester Scene", now living by the sea. Mongreilf only speaks of irrational, algebraic and transendental numbers. It helps keep him calm.

Uli Schwabe, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:18 (twelve years ago) Permalink

In an alarming Volte Face The Haggis Collectors have renamed themselves as The Haggis Collective and are singing dreary agit-prop. Their first release is called, simply, Lung-Meat. No-one knows if it is an oblique and ironically sexist reference to one of Scottish Mick's early girlfriends or simply a paean to vegetarianism: revealing what haggis is actually made from.

Dale Olivier, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:30 (twelve years ago) Permalink

hurrah....the tube bar finally gets a decent web site.

i trust you are aware of this.

anyway, the turk should look at

at which he'll be able to plug the tube bar nights for free under the venues page. and pineapster gets 5,000 hits a funded website.

andy black, Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong have been added to the line up for next Tuesday's charity gig in aid of the badger protection league at the Beacon Inn in Loughborough. Because of the short notice they haven't got a full set of original songs, so will be doing some cover versions, including Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Ooo Wakka Doo wakka Day", and Jonathan King's "Leap up and down, wave your knickers in the air."

Gertrude Ectoplasm, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong have written a new song in rehearsals called "Theme From Ming Mang Mong". Kesh (Mongrielf) wasn't allowed to write the lyrics to this one given his monomaniacial fascination with various integers so Geordie Mick improvised, just singing the words 'Ming Mang Mong' quickly over and over again until he got dizzy and fell over (legs akimbo) in a heap on the floor.

Ming the Merciless, Thursday, 27 January 2005 19:52 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Integers?! If irrationals or transcendentals are integers it's a world gone upside down.

Mongreilf, Friday, 28 January 2005 08:47 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Can we talk about Bloom some more?

Vin Vandal, Friday, 28 January 2005 10:48 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Are Bloom still going ?

Mr Pleasant, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:40 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I don't know if Bloom are still going, but I've heard their singer was a bit of a goer.

Gary Dent, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:42 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Didn't she concieve at a Kevin Hewick concert ?

Karl James, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:51 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Actually she was a bit of a Gower, as in related to David Gower, the famous leicestershire batsman.

Octavia Alfonso Gower was her full name, nothing at all to do with the Kesh Mongreilf family whatsoevahhhh

Foxy Sideburns, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I'm not surprised, seeing Kevin Hewick live always makes me feel like a good, hard shag.

Sandie Bush, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:56 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I get similar urges seeing MJ Hibbert, especially after a few lager and blacks.

Big Mad Susan, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 10:37 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hey Mad Susan, if you want to get off with MJ Hibbett learn to spell his name properly. We hear he tests people before having sex.

The Noing Sisters, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 20:44 (twelve years ago) Permalink

God, I'm going out and buying the biggest dictionary I can find. Mmm-mm.

Big Mad Susan, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 12:53 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick has taken on a new sideline project/job, that is disposing of any unwanted coffee tables anyone might have. Disposing of unwanted coffee tables is not as easy as you'd think (the council now charge for taking away household objects), but Mick has thought of an ingenious way to do it. In order to the reduce the size of the furniture he psychs himself up by dancing manically to "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division and then does a big belly flop onto said table smashing the legs off in one fell swoop. He can also dye carpets (tho only pink) using a special sceret formula only he knows (he will also grant Prolapse fans who know the lyrics to Doorstop Rhythmic Bloc a special 'two for one' deal where he will do both for no extra charge).

Mongreilf, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:09 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Well he's got competition. Steve Baker has been dying his friends carpets a dirty pink for years. Upholstery too.

Mongreilf (The real one), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:51 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I hear Steve Baker also provides this service completey free of charge

Let me sleep in a bush, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:07 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The Ming Mang Mong charity gig came to a premature end last night when Geordie Mick went into a trance like state during the first song, "Theme from Ming Mang Mong", spinning round and round chanting the words like a mantra with his eyes closed, and fell off stage knocking himself unconcious. He was rushed to hospital, and support band Men with Cigars had to do an impromptu second set to try to calm the restless crowd. They decided to do some Prolapse covers but only knew "Fear of teeth", "Irritating radiator" and "Liquid compliment" plus the Prolapse tribute song "A hat, A hat, A mongoose and A hat" by The Scringe.

Mad Mang, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:19 (twelve years ago) Permalink

There's a press conference scheduled for the visitors room in Leicester General Hospital (floor 3, B ward) at 3pm this afternoon by "Michael Daltrey Townsend Entwistle Moon Topographic Oceans Harrison".

It's rumoured that the complete tracklisting of the new Haggis Collective album "White Light, White Cyder" will be announced.

I for one am positively trembling with excitment.

Call the polis - there's a Mad Mang in town, Friday, 4 February 2005 10:27 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Here is a leaked partially complete tracklist for the new Haggis Collective/MMM album of cover versions of songs which have influenced Geordie Mick in his formative years:

Ming me a mong (Marc Bolan)
Mangalang (Bay City Rollers)
Every little ming she does is manky (The Police)
Mang Mang (Cher)
911 is a joke (Public Enemy)

Lester Newshound, Friday, 4 February 2005 14:31 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Have not forgotten "Everybody Ming Mang tonight" by Mang Mong

The ghost of nigel's coffee table, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:13 (twelve years ago) Permalink

BIG excitement at the press conference at the hospital when Geordie Mick appeared wearng a kaftan made from colostomy bags which he had borrowed from the medical supplies cupboard. It turns out that the promise of track titles from his new album was a smokescreen for "the small minded critics and non-believers".

"The Mickster" looked well, and now that the trademark Harrison pudding basin haircut has grown out, he has had a scouser perm with blond highlights which set off his red eyes nicely. He glossed over Tuesdays gig incident, saying it was a deliberate act of theatre, akin to Jim Morrison or David Icke.

He announced that he was holding the press conference to announce that there would be another press conference next week when he was out of hospital. Dave Davies from the Leicester Mercury shouted out that this was an old situationist trick from the 1760s. All subsequent questions from the press were greeted with "no comment" and Geordie Mick returned to the ward to have a nasty boil lanced by Nurse Betty.

Harold Giblets, Friday, 4 February 2005 18:41 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I have news of another Ming Mang Mong tune set to the beat of the backing music to a casio 'soccer lcd game' from 1984. Once again kesh (Mongreilf) has provided the lyrics, with the battered old speak and spell game providing Vox fx.

It's called, 'Like rubbing crab juice on Reg Varney (Is there order among imaginery numbers?)' by Ming Mang Mong (projected title) home demo: 5th Feb 2005.

"Not sure about this.
How do you prove the premises of any mathematics are true?
I've not studied Frege Russel et al and work from axioms taken as read.
Remember Euclid's parralel axiom?
Surely the ARGUMENT is sound if the logic is sound, but the CONCLUSION
is sound only if both logic and premises are sound. Mongreilf likes numbers. (repeat to fade)."

Creamy googlised underpants, Monday, 7 February 2005 13:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scenes from the Geordie Mick Press Conference t'other day

Completely Bakered, Monday, 7 February 2005 13:58 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
OMG! I'm listening to ghosts of dead aeroplanes RIGHT NOW!

scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 01:20 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Latest from Leicesterchestershire. Geordie Mick has discharged himself against the advice of the medical proffesion and hopped it to London. His attempt to break into broadcasting house and interrupt the transmission of Stuart Maconie's "The Critical List" was thwarted by his having lost completely lost all track of time. Those listened to this week's Radio 2 broadcast by Humphrey Littleton may have noticed the usual trad and non-threatening modern jazz replaced by "bleeping and stuff about numbers", as Humph later described it. Something of an epiphany may have occurred however, as the next day Mick was seen looking at the trumpets in Sheehans while humming little be-bop ditties to himself. Are we entering a new Jazz Age? Well are we?

Dale Olivier, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 11:39 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Poor Geordie Mick got confused at the GO! Team gig last week. On the bit when the singer gurl got the girls to shout "Go!", and the guys to shout "Team", Mick tried joining in but kept shouting out either "Ming!" "Mang!" or "Mong!" by mistake during the bits where the audience were meant to participate.

It doesn't matter tho' because Ferraro Roche want to use "Theme from Ming Mang Mong" as the backing music to one of their adverts, horrraaahh!

Tudor Road, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 12:05 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong have been asked to oversee the soundtrack of a goth soft porn vid starring Sadie Cakes. After Kevin Shields' success with "Lost in Translation" the two Harrisons are said to be considering the offer with a serious amount of seriousness. Ms Cakes opined that their bleeping-beeping stuff was just the sort of retro/futuristic take on cheesy organ music that got her motor running.

Torquil Trismegistus, Friday, 25 February 2005 10:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Trouble in the Ming Mang Mong camp. Mongreilf was blanked by the Geordie one in a pub recently, probably due to the groups lyrical change of direction from "stuff about numbers" to "made up stuff about Mick". "I really didn't think he'd mind, or indeed care" said Mongreilf before hinting that the band may be covering the Rex Harrison number from My Fair Lady "Why can't a woman be more like a man?", but calling it instead "Why can't a woman be more like a piano playing spaniel?"

I'm a good girl, I am!, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 11:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The Haggis Collective have a new line up: the entire population of Lanarkshire! Their new single's video "Come on everyone, lets play sneaky-snorkels" features a mass trespass by the band's 621,067 members into a garden in Lesmahagow. The annoyed resident is seen shaking his fist at the snorkel-parka'd multitude before being reminded that he too is a member of the Haggis Collective. At this wonderful news he dons his own parka and joins the throng, dancing the night away to the Collective's groovy music.

Alasdair Gray, Wednesday, 2 March 2005 16:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I am starting a Ming Mang Mong fanzine, and am currently researching a Ming Mang Mong "rock family tree". If anyone has any information about the other bands the members have been in I'd appreciate it. Obviously I know of Geordie Mick's bands Prolapse, Ears go fff!, Ping, How many means bake five and Vibrating Elephant, but are there any others ?

Rachel Pringle, Friday, 11 March 2005 18:38 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I believe he's been involved with The Stale Jokes, Male Pattern Balding, Regret Syndrome, The Neverwasbeans and ABBA!

ourwulliewallpaper, Friday, 11 March 2005 20:04 (twelve years ago) Permalink

For those of you missing Scottish Mick he can be seen in a video by The Council at

Fishman, Saturday, 12 March 2005 17:19 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Fanzine Info.
Geordie Mick was also in the following bands: The Benign Tremeloes, Anal Anus and Consumed All The Cheese. Recent excitement that a new project was afoot after he was seen carrying equipment into stay-free was dashed when it was revealed he was, infact, their new premises officer.
Mongreilf was famously sacked as Discordia's keyboard player for playing the high notes with his left hand crossed over his right. He also published several slim volumes of verse. The most well received, "An Introduction to Topological Spaces" was praised by The Literary Review for its "taught, caustic reflections on the banalities of analysis" while Poetry Today described it as "More of a maths textbook than poetry". Its most famous poem "The Heine-Borrel Theorem: The Unit Interval is Compact, Hurrah!" won the Golden Trumpet award in 1997. Though he doesn't like to admit it, in his youth he was also in This Picture, Esprit-de-Corps and See-Feel.

Uli Schwabe, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 09:26 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Not forgetting kesh mongreilf's stint as a roadie for simon gallup's between Cure period band "Fool's Dance".

wee joni ghostie, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 16:33 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hot News! During an excavation under the old Magazine (ably led by Mr. Tony Throatwarbler-Bamboo) a cache of very rare video footage from the mid 90s was discovered! Highlights include Zach swigging some minature Tia Marias, not 1 but 2(!) Regs dancing in a field, and an interview with glamourpuss sexdwarf Jeremy "The Blanked" Hollyhobby. Rumours of the existence of footage from Milk Of The Stars' infamous month-long Droneathon show are however sadly untrue.

not so able tasman, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 16:48 (twelve years ago) Permalink

More groupie than roadie, ghostie, but during their "Fools Can Dance" period. They later renamed themselves to avoid confusion with 4AD serious squad "Dead Can Dance". Suffice it to say they were awful.

Kesh, Wednesday, 16 March 2005 11:42 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Legal News: "The Haggis Collective" have reverted to old name "The Haggis Collectors" after fear of legal action from "The McQuaid Collective." The former Tube Bar Records stars haven't been heard of for years, but the threat of Turk turning up at Haggis gigs and complaining and moaning and kvetching, let alone screaming, was enough to spur them into action.

Tim Brook Tinker, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
mad susan is that you from over the road? got any wine?if so pop round soon!!

birmingham bully girl, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:56 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I cant belieeeeeve Amarillo has become popular, i've been ripped off again, it was all my idea cos i used to play it 10 times a night at Tube Bar. Whats next, "Tears"? "Im Backing Britain"?? "Leicester Fiesta"??? What a personal disaaaaaaaaaster!

MC TURK, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 19:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong have been asked to add their crazy vibes to the "Last Evah Tube Bar". The idea is to have MMM as the backing band and then guest singers from the audience can have a song each. Olivia Tremor Control from the orange tree will be doing some tap dancing at the side of the stage, Little Binz will be blowing bubbles for effects, and John Hogg is writing a song that he wants to perform at the event entitled "All My Illusions have been shattered". Its a 14 minute lament and involves a 3 minute 'cigar solo" from the Hogg man, where he will spell his own name in the form or smoke rings, in a solomon burke stylee, before diving head first into a bucket of red hair dye.

Personally, I cant wait!

Sidney Car Crash, Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:45 (twelve years ago) Permalink

is this really the last tube bar evah???

leicester fiesta would indeed be good.

andy black, Friday, 22 April 2005 11:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Sidney, I keep getting the "credit" for your posts. Ming Mang Mong may never talk to me again.

Personally, I prefered the last ever tube bar before last to the last one. I didn't have to endure both Basin's AND PJ's awful, awful records.

A hungover Sunday saw a Tony Christie special on Ed "Stew-pot" Stewart's radio show, plus Jarvis Cocker's 70s TV-theme and lounge-nonsense Desert Island Disks. It was like Turk had taken over the world.

Tim Brook Tinker, Monday, 25 April 2005 10:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Turk has persuaded Leicester's very own Stephen Pastel librarian rock god "Stevie Twee" to take a break from trying to steal Vincent Gallo's hat and form yet another Prolapse tribute band, this time performing jangly versions of old Prolapse tunes. The band (called Stevie Twee and the Sad Hedgehogs) will be supported by none other than Scottish Mick, taking a break from digging his holes in Norway for a brief tour. Since hearing of Yoko Ono's crap set at ATP, the scottish one has gone 'all performance art' and will be jumping up and down on an old coffee table whilst perfoming "The sun has got his hat on" on a brazilian noseflute.

Its art, kids.

Ronald Fence, Thursday, 28 April 2005 14:33 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Right, I've read all the posts above and I'm still confused. So, are they classic or dud ?

Richard Spangledong, Thursday, 28 April 2005 15:40 (twelve years ago) Permalink

There's a rather touching poem about Ming Mang Mong at :

Edna Spank, Thursday, 28 April 2005 16:06 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Blatant Plagiarism. I'd sue the author, but she's only 7.

On the Ning Nang Nong Where the cows go Bong!
And the monkeys all say Boo!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.


Is Turk still playing Harry Secombe? Aaagh...

Spike Milligan, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:34 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick - Classic
Linda - Classic
Geordie Mick - Dud
Pat - Classicity beyond Classicism
Tim Apple Face - Classic
The Other Ones - Unk-Known

Birmingham Bully Girl's Best Friend's Quiet Boyfriend, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:41 (twelve years ago) Permalink

It's sounds like it was written by Stump!


On the Ming Mang Mong
Where the cats go and sing a song
And dogs all say what's wrong

There's a Mong Mang Ming
Robins can sing
Mang Ming Mong
Cows go bong.

Ming Mong Mang
Mice go clang

What a noisy place to belong to

It's the Ming Mang Mong!

fizzy teef, Tuesday, 3 May 2005 11:34 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I must believe.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 12:10 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Some measure of fame:

mongreilf, Monday, 9 May 2005 11:21 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong make wikipedia! whoopie!

A Happy Pube, Tuesday, 10 May 2005 08:05 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Had to happen eventually, like TURK, their time will come...

Charlie Mingus Mangus Mongus, Tuesday, 10 May 2005 09:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I've just bought one of those new limited edition musical "Alco-Furbies". I'm thinking of formimg a Ming Mang Mong tribute band of Furbies if anyone else would like to join me in this exciting new venture?

As it was my idea, my new emoto-tronic friend will of course take the role of Furby-Mick within the band.

Pilchard Vostock, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:20 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I have it on regal authority that Ming Mang Mong have signed a THREE figure deal with TuftyClub records. The deal involves free bags of lichen to be given to the band members at all future gigs and when there is a full moon. It remains unconfirmed what Kesh Mongreilf's position in the band now is, although several rumours abound that the two harrisions may lead a 'double pronged bass attack' at the next WOLF PARTY at the Shaekespeares head. Lets hope its doesn't end up sounding like Ned's Atominc Dustbin, fer gawds sake.

Herbert Sherbert, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:52 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hey now, Ned's at least had the courtesy to name themselves after me (oh they claim it was the Goon Show but I know).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:53 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I've been sacked Herbert, like I always bloody well am.

Kesh Mongreilf, Friday, 13 May 2005 06:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

awww, nevermind Kesh. how about joining my band, "I Was Brought Up In A Hippy LoveCult"? we're playing a gig at the Shed, and Dave Davies might come along ... think of the fame and fortune!

The Walking Looking Up Man, Friday, 13 May 2005 06:46 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Can I sing about maths?

The Walking Looking Up Man's Pornography Collection as witnessed by Wendy Flynn, Friday, 13 May 2005 12:55 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I like the little ditties you write musing about imaginary numbers. Maybe you should team up with rock librarian god and leather trouser wearer, Stevie Twee (the sad hedgehogs have split, due to arguments about whether they should cover 'Let the sunshine through Your Anorak' by C86 favourites 'Cellophane'). You could be the next Morrisssey and Marr!

The Walking Looking Up Man's Big Bag, Monday, 16 May 2005 09:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Kesh Mongreilf has decided to abandon the music industry to concentrate on his doctoral thesis entitled: The Third Force: Carbonated Soft Drinks of the 1970s. He will be performing a surprise solo farewell gig as second support for The Chemistry Experiment at The Attic tomorrow. The set will consist of "mumbling about numbers and stuff". Geordie Mick is not expected to attend.

Mongreilf's press agent, Monday, 16 May 2005 11:33 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Apparently Geordie Mick and Percy have now decided to embark on a tour as a pair of stand up comedians in the mold of Laurel and Hardy (or as some dry wags have commented, Cannon and Ball). They start at the Attik tonight, as THIRD support to the Chemistry Experiment, where their improvisional slaptick brand of humour is likely to be appreciated. Rumours are that they may also heckle Kesh Mongreilf by quoting some of his own lyrics back to him from the Ming Mang Mong days, in high pitched squeeky voices, while also spitting ice cubes ironically, in an attempt to make him lose his cool and forget his mumbling set.

Ming Mang Mongreilf, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 10:28 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Thats funny, i'm sure i heard on the grapevine that tonights coveted 3rd support slot went to exciting new band Ox In Sox. Causing commotion as far away as Bunny, these hott young gunslingers are well known for their onstage attire of one sock each a la Chilli Peppers. "Members" onstage tonight are rumoured to include That Guy With The Glasses Who Hangs Around With The Regs, Smiley Martin, Matt The Mod, the ubiquitous Tom The Voilinist, and Carl With The Starey Eyes (who is said to be always up for a/some jam).
Ms. Kawasaki was unavailable for comment.

That Victorian Girl, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 11:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Third support may be disputed (and apparently Percy wants Mick to be "the fat one") but FOURTH support slot has been taken by Beeston based all-synth Chemistry Experiment tribute band Electronics Kit who once lent Emily their Ondioline.

Edwardian Boy, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 11:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Apparently Percy and Mick end their comedy set with Percy storming off stage shouting "That's anonther fine mess you've gotten me into!", while Mick does fake crying and twiddles his hair. The 'catchphrase' will be all over the nations schoolyards within the year, just you watch!

Another bloody polyamourist another planet, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 12:38 (twelve years ago) Permalink

After an auction on ebay the FIFTH support slot has been sold to Kevin Bloody Hewick for six million quid!

Bus Shelters of the World, Unite and Take Over!, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 14:00 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The SIXTH support slot at the gig is going to a reformed 'sad hedgehogs' with John Hogg taking over the vocal duties, altho rumour has it he will be doing nothing other than communicating via the use of smoke signals, like a native indian sqaw. What would Laura say?

cycling into lamposts, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 14:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I work for an advertising agency and our latest account is for the Ming Mang Mong album. The Tv adverts feature Big Brother star Jade Goody. The ad was filmed yesterday and starts with Jade writhing in ecstacy on a bed with "Theme from Ming Mang Mong" playing in the background. She turns to camera and says "I ain't a minger but I am a Ming Mang Monger and I'm listening to Ming Mang Mong's new album "Ming Mang Mong 1" on TuftyClub records. Buy it now !!" The ads are apparantly being shown next week during Coronation Street, Celbrity Love island and Channel 5's Real Sex.

Flora Cromer, Friday, 27 May 2005 10:11 (twelve years ago) Permalink

According to Geordie Mick Ming Mang Mong have disowned the advert, which was sanctioned by TuftyClub supremo Torquil Twongton-Hogg. Livid with embarrasment at being associated with the "rough-as-fuck minor has-been celeb" (his words) he announced the band were changing their name to Mung Mang Mong and the new album would be renamed "In Search of Beans". "We're like Hawkwind now," he added, "only better."

Sir Rupert Iain Kay Moncreiffe of that Ilk, Bt., CVO, QC, Friday, 27 May 2005 12:17 (twelve years ago) Permalink

That's impossible.

Dave Brock, Friday, 27 May 2005 13:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Huh. He'll be claiming to be better than Gong next.

Daevid Allen, Friday, 27 May 2005 15:10 (twelve years ago) Permalink

He once claimed Prolapse were better than Supertramp. Arse hole.

Roger Hodgson, Friday, 27 May 2005 16:37 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick was spotted at last nights New Potatoes sporting a stencil of the word SLAVE on his cheek, which he now intends to have every time he appears in public as a statement on the impasse between himself and Tuftyclub records. He is apparantly refusing to gig or do any promotional appearances under the name Ming Mang Mong until released form his contract, and instead the band will be playing a series of secret gigs as The Cabbages. He was last seen lying in the gutter (but gazing at the stars) on Free Lane,muttering "If Tuftyclub think they're getting their poxy £270 advance back they've got another thing coming. It's all gone".. while staring at the bottle of White Lightening he was clutching.

Rachel Brunt, Saturday, 28 May 2005 13:21 (twelve years ago) Permalink

There's a rumour going around that "The Cabbages" will be playing a guerilla gig at tomorrows bank holiday all dayer at the Firefly, storming the stage just before Kevin Hewick's set.

Stephanie Crumpet, Sunday, 29 May 2005 15:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Sadly a rumour was all it remained, although apparently Percy and Mick now end their comedy set crossed legged on the floor facing the audience, with their thumbs aloft like fonzie, singing "ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! Condensed Milk Sandwiches!" in a high pitched nasal twang.

It's hilarious!

The Phantom Flan Flinger, Tuesday, 31 May 2005 10:05 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Mick is now claiming to be "better than Robert Calvert" and, under the Mung Mang Mong psuedonym, has released a cover of the "Captain Lockheed and the Starfighters" album, but all changed and mixed up so as to slag of everyone ever. The cover just features a big picture of Pat's weary face, but upside down!

My Chopper is a Wopper, Thursday, 2 June 2005 13:12 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Audience shot from the geordie mick 'n' percy comedy show below


Dancin' like a strung out crazy, Thursday, 2 June 2005 13:28 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I've never met him, but Geordie Mick has been my artistic muse ever since I heard the Fabians/Ears go fff! split single.

I have written a short story about my lovely muse which you can read here :

Cheyenne Blue, Thursday, 2 June 2005 13:59 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Strange but spoon bendingly completey true. Kesh Mongreilf has written a screen play to a Ming Mang Mong sit-com, which also stars Jade Goody, who lives in a house with the rest of the band. The crazed mathematician and open plan barge designer knocked up the idea whilst trying to teach himself plumbing and had the first 6 episodes ready by tea time. The idea is loosley based on the young ones except instead of blowing up the telly Geordie Mick consumes all the milk in every epsisode, much to Peter Unpronouncable name from Heavenly's (who guest stars as himself) annoyance.

arnold falsener, Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:21 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I have seen the rushes. Like Japan, the result is unmitigated exoticism by way of subtractive process.

Peter Unpronouncable name from Heavenly says at the end of every episode "It would appear that Geordie Mick has consumed all the milk" beofre splitting his infinitives yet again.

Roger O'Donnell, Thursday, 2 June 2005 15:39 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I have insider details (oh, alright, Geordie Mick himself told me) of what geordie mick has been up to. He plays bass on that new Go Kart Mozart record under the pseudonym "Brown Sauce". Lawrence had orginally met him in cherry red's offices when he went in to complain about them never getting the covers to look right, and they hit it off immediately. Although he didn't get any hard cash for his bass doodlings, GM was paid by 'laughing larry' in the form of 47 3 litre bottles of only slightly out of date white lightening!

henry tassles, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 11:41 (twelve years ago) Permalink

That's rubbish. Everyone knows that all the posts on this forum are written by a bot. Even this one.

Prole-bot, Friday, 10 June 2005 07:12 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Geordie Mick has changed his name to Captain Rational and Ming Mang Mong have changed direction yet again, this time doing loungecore versions of Damned songs. At the opening gig at the musiciain in leicester t'other week, Geordie's bass went very out of tune during "Just Can't Be Happy Today", yet he only made rudimentary attempts to get it back in tune, and it still sounded horrible. "That'll do for you bastards" he said in a croydon accent, winking at the dumbfounded audience below.

Cuddle, Monday, 27 June 2005 15:21 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Yes its true, Scottish Mick is now a DJ on Norwegian radio!!! Last week was his inaugural show, and he wowed his listeners with a mixture of Rudimentary Penii, Androids of Mu, Seefeels' classic track "The boy who cries from one eye", Holiday Boy, Fish From Tahiti, Noise R Us, Thee Saxby St Hookers and a rare flexi by c86 chancers the Snowbirds.
Unfortunately he forgot to play anything by the Krankies, and now has to renounce his presidency of the Krankies Fandabidozy Fan Club. Wee Jeanette was quoted as saying "I might have broken my leg falling of that scenery last year, but this just broke my heart"

Springheeled Jack, Monday, 27 June 2005 15:44 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I hear tracks by Yeah Yeah Anorak Squid, Another Sunny Day, The Scringe, Nice Strong Arm, Blodwyn Pig, Holly Hobby, The Washing Up Liquid, Look Mum No Hands, and the Honkin' Nasal Twangsters also made Scotia's playlist.

Casual Sect, Monday, 27 June 2005 16:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Not forgetting The Haggis Collectors, Scraggle, Po!, Blessed Ethel, Rognor Begis, Henry Flaccid and the Steaming Coilers, Jefferson Starship and ELO.

Scared of Ghosts, Monday, 27 June 2005 16:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

As well as all this, to liven up the show, Scotia started telling anecdotes about the time he played on the dodgems with Brian Molko at the Spanish version of Reading festival, getting Charlie Nicholas to autograph a copy of Pointless Walks to Dismal Places, going to see QPR with Robert Smith and Sean Hughes, and the time he was he had a walk on part in panto (in Alladin!) with Tim Brooke Taylor.

Only for Cuddles, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:10 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Nova Scotia Mikhail did start to lose the crowds sympathy a bit when he mentioned that as a fully signed up Mormon he was planning to get into the Guiness Book of Records for the largest simultaneous polygamous marriage.

The marriage, which will take place on an island in the middle of Norways famous Black Fjord later this month, will involve the union of Mick, a spider monkey named Chichi, an Austrian lass he met in a pub in Oslo (name unknown) and the entire female population of a tribe of chimpanzees from the Congo.

Attendance open to all and the gift list is available at Threshers.

L Ron Hibbett, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 08:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Apparently songs at the wedding will include 'Big Pink Cake' by the Razorcuts, 'She cries alone' by the Skeletel Family, Coil's version of 'Tainted love', 'Scared of Ghosts' by Discordia, 'The Don Diddy Song' by Fools Dance, 'Exercise is Good for You, Laziness is not' by the Wombles and 'Toni Macoroni' by the Krankees!

A wonky eyed boy, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 09:37 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Unlikely but true pairing. Scottish Mick and Jay Kay from Jamiroquai have teamed up to record a 'funkay' version of Lionel Richie's "Dancing on the Ceiling" for Live 8. The video is hilarious, with Jay Kay able to bounce around all over the ceiling, while the confounded Mick just taps dances in confusion on the floor, like a dieing fly. Rumours are the pair got on great and exchanged hats/ceramic monkeys at the end of the session, and to celebrate went for a pretend grand prix race on the go karts at Wicksteed park! Jay Kay won, although generously gave Mick some of his fizzy white cider he got as the prize. Free Bevvy!

The Insider, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:13 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Does the large-livered one perform his famous coffee table tap dance at all? Or is he just dancing whilst wrestling with a giant beer tap behind the 10 foot high bar in homage to the Goodies and the Beanstalk?

His public needs to know!

Alfie Bass, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 12:32 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Shock news is that Scottish Mick has asked Geordie Mick to be his best man at the forthcoming wedding. Unfortunately Geordie Mick can't make it as Ming Mang Mong are performing at Live 8 on the day of the wedding. He is planning on sending a man in a dead badger costume as a stand in instead.

Dead badgers are considered very lucky at Norwegian weddings and this gesture of goodwill could lead to the oft-mooted Prolapse reunion happening much sooner than expected.

It is unknown if Scottish Mick has invited Linda to be a bridesmaid, but Tim the drummer is believed to be doing the catering. I can't wait for one of raw fish vol-au-vents!

Alan Toilet, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 13:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Just think of what great stories would've been in the the best man speech, tho.

He said he wanted to be reincarnated as a patch of lichen., Wednesday, 29 June 2005 15:06 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The one about them trying to sell some old metal they'd found in the train graveyard to a scrap metal merchant in order to get the £1.42 needed to buy a half a pint of mild each would've been in there, I think.

Edna Sharples, Wednesday, 6 July 2005 13:57 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Or the one where, in desperation, they drank after shave and orange juice one night. ("not bad" according to Scottish).

Peter Scant, Wednesday, 6 July 2005 18:04 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Does anyone remember Mick and Mick's one page fanzine that you got for 5p less if you had an emily badge?

Posh Spaz, Thursday, 7 July 2005 14:56 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Does anyone remember Scottish Mick's late-80s comic strip about Jaikies?

ourwulliewallpaper, Thursday, 7 July 2005 20:25 (twelve years ago) Permalink

no but i can remember the special Prolapse guest appearance in an "Oor Wullie" strip. Fat Bob, Wee Eck and the gang wanted to go and see the band at the 13th Note, but they had no money. Scottish Mick was short of something to drink his beer out of, so Wullie lent him his pail. The whole gang got to sneak in to the venue in one of Micks giant hollowed out ceramic monkeys, but ran away holding their ears when Tim started pounding the drums (to general cries of "Jings", "Crivvens", "Help Ma Boab" etc)

Pa Broon, Thursday, 7 July 2005 20:57 (twelve years ago) Permalink

And what did Wullie do with the tanner that Mick gave him? Fuckin' spent it on yo-yos!

Granny Sooker, Thursday, 7 July 2005 21:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

A friend of mine is writing a biography of Larry Grayson and has uncovered paperwork about an album he was about to make before he died. Apparantly Cherry Red had persuaded him to make a follow up to his classic 1975 "Oh what a gay day" album, and it was to be a set of covers of contemporary indie tracks with slightly altered lyrics to reflect Larry's character. Title track of the album was to have been "Shut that Doorstep rhythmic bloc." Obviously his untimely death robbed us of a classic.

Purple Petula, Sunday, 10 July 2005 19:52 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick's new children's book "The Day the Ceramic Monkeys Knocked Over the Clock Tower" is a numbah one best seller in Norway, with sales of over 400,000, outselling the new Harry Potter book by 2 to 1!

The plot revolves around a dream he once had which involved him and geordie braking into Threshers, out of date white cider, drinking perfume and aftershave in plastic glasses that took off all the enamel, male snogging, a coffee table, emily badges, the little fella from Comet gain that liked biting people, the drummer who i can't remember the name of out of Sperm Wails and headbutt, playing tambourine for Onionhead, and a chance encounter with the bloke who plays Kramer in seinfeld!

It's for adults too!

Wee Jimmi Ghostface, Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:02 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Not to be outdone, Geordie Mick has written his own book, and has had a stab a writing a Harry Potter spoof, based on a true event Mick once experienced, called simply, 'Harry Potter and the Itchy Carpet', in which Harry loses a bet after his spell goes wrong and has to sleep naked on the carpet in the Hogwarts school common room, which unbeknownst to many is infested with crazed fleas. It's going to be a long night!

Krazy Kesh Mongreilf has provided the illustrations for this one, altho' all the drawings are really just a barely concealed load of guff about algebraic number theorems!

rettoP yrraH, Thursday, 28 July 2005 08:50 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Gosh-lo, algebraic numbers is gay you know. Solvy polly-wolly-nomials in countable one-to-one-tee with nature's numberings. Veg Tak, Nej Tak! Atomkraft oonst Nordsk.

Remembering Narvik.

Mongreilf, Friday, 29 July 2005 12:17 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
There's some videos featuring various members of Prolapse at the "History of life" event in Leicester 10 years ago over on the video page at . See Scottish Mick interviewing a little boy about monkeys !

Billy Bottomley, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 12:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hot news from the Ming Mang Mong camp. Not to be outdone by Scottish Mick's stint as manager of the Haggis Collectors, Geordie Mick 'pulls the strings' behind his own Newcastle/Noo York creation, Ming Ping. The Milli Vanilli influenced sexy synth pop duo, (that Mick found in a chance encounter when on a quick flight over to play golf with Jimmy Nail at Tupper Lake) have been persuaded by the Mickster to do a cover of both Coldplay's 'Yellow' and Prolapse's own 'Fear of Teeth'. Mick has clverely booked them in for a week of gigs around Leicester, to riase their profile, and he intends to join them onstage for encores at every one for low strung bass action!

For those interested the website is here:-

Dum, Dum Dum, Kitsch!, Thursday, 18 August 2005 07:34 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Or even:-

Dum, Dum Dum, Kitsch!, Thursday, 18 August 2005 07:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I heard it on the grapevine that Geordie Mick has started a one man Bobby McGee's tribute band, calling it simply "The Geordie McMick's". They are due to play a garden party in Leicester very soon. Be there or be square. Rumours are that GM is also growing a moustache as a tribute to Wee Jimmy as well.

Details here:-

Other Prolapse related news, Scottish Mick is spending all the profits from the ceramic monkey selling business. He's now changed his name to 'Emperor Fabulous' and has taken to dressing up as The Hemulen from Finn Family Moomintroll, starring in a amatuer dramtic version of November in Moominvalley (the sad one). Sadly it is unconfirmed at the present time as to who is playing Toft or Snufkin.

Albert Schweitzer, Thursday, 25 August 2005 14:32 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Albert Schweitzer cured my diabetes by playing Atomic Cock covers on his bassoon. After 48 hours of this me gall bladder went sideways and I wos oon thee mooon with a basket of ffjmnjchjbd cwqfcknc

below par, Saturday, 27 August 2005 11:10 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Did anyone see 'Who the Fu*k is Scottie Mick' on BBC 3 the other night.
It was a warts n all doc profiling the turbulent career of an out of control ceramic monkey maker.
His ardent followers think he is the best thing to happen to pottery since Clarice Cliff.
He could break big,but tabloid tales of drunkeness and an on-off relationship with supermodel Moomin Moo Moo
have caused concern.

Sir Mister Spanners, Thursday, 1 September 2005 19:31 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I just bought Backsaturday for 50 pee in Cancer Research on Kilburn High Road! Even though I already own it! I had to rescue it! It's great!


CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 2 September 2005 13:44 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I didn't see the documentary, but I've got it on tape.

Mister Sister Manners, Friday, 2 September 2005 15:14 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I heard it from you know who that Sorted Reciords are going to release an unoffical Ming Mang Mong compilation of the early stuff (liscensed from Tufty Club Records). Tracks include the famous "Theme from Ming Mang Mong", "The Flaming Zip", "In Search of Beans", "Like rubbing crab juice on Reg Varney (Is there order among imaginary numbers?)", "Measure vs calculation", and of course "Elementary Proofs". Also included will be a limited edition dvd, although this will only consist of a 3 hour diatribe from Geordie Mick, waggling his finger angrily at the camera, berating everett true for a bad review of a prolapse live gig written in Melody Maker in December 1994.

Super Hans, Tuesday, 6 September 2005 15:26 (twelve years ago) Permalink

The projected title of the album will be Ming Mang Mong: Consuming All The Milk (2004-2005). It is so far unknown to everyone whether Kesh will be getting royalties for his maths lyrics.

Super Hans, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 08:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Although Sorted have persuaded none other than Peter Unprounouncable Name from Heavenly (and later Marine Research!) to write a forward for the inlay of the album, to explain just how Geordie Mick 'consumed all the milk' when he came to stay at the Heavenly house.

Supr Hans, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 08:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

>>Consuming All The Milk

Maddy "Mad" McMadMad, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 16:53 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
The Sorted album has been put on hold after Dave Dixey received a cease and desist notice from Mongoose, Mongoose, Hat and Partners, the law firm representing "Kesh" Mongreilf. The one time milk depot clerk for Express Dairies had instructed his solicitors that he had seen "all the milk" and it was lots; more than a derelict indie wastrel could consume in a month of making tea while listening listening to Slowdive/Yes/Red House Painters. Even macaroni cheese wouldn't do it.

Sir David Sane, Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:22 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Did anyone see the reformed Happy Mondays on Top of the Pops tonight ? Bez looked like Turk dancing to I'm backing Britain at the Tube bar.

Flora Mineshaft, Sunday, 2 October 2005 18:04 (twelve years ago) Permalink

And according to the 'biggest selling records' thing on T.V. last night, Ken Dodd, Tony Christie and Engelbert Humperdinck were amongst the most popular singers evahh.

Looks like Turk was right all along...

I dont believe it thisistheworstdayofmywhooollllleeelooiiiffeeeee!

what a personal disaster, Monday, 3 October 2005 00:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I love you all.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 October 2005 00:57 (twelve years ago) Permalink

i've hread a rumour that Ming Mang Mong are playing the Sorted 10th Anniversary Show on the 6th at the Charlotte, Leicester ... i hope so cos it would add some class to a bill that includes The Ceramic Monkeys, Sophies Dalliance, El Hoggo Bongo and the Smooth Cigars, Nigels Pickled Leg, "Bleeding Face" Kesh and the Tearless Eye, Ghostface Sleepa, The Sinking of "The Able Fairgreul", The Mad And The Smiley, I'm Fucking Off to Gothenberg With All Jimmys Money To Open A Retro Furniture Shop etc etc etc.

is Ned the head of Pi Face Records?, Monday, 3 October 2005 03:04 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I hear that Kesh Mongreilf, tired of sighing for not getting his royalties for the Ming Mang Mong lyrics, has formed his own band that will play the songs he wrote the words for, calling it simply Ming Mang Mongreilf.

They are due for a short set on stage at the Sorted fest, and rumours abound that they will have a face off with the orginal Ming Mang Mong in a big daddy/giant haystacks stylee, except instead of wrestling they will use their guitars as weapons and try and 'shoot' each other with each others plectrums! The winner (to be decided by Sorted Supremo Dave Dixey) will get to release a limited edition 10" album on Sorted in the the new year.

Geordie Mick for one, is positively trembling with excitement (or it could be really bad cider induced hangover).

Gender Brenda, Monday, 3 October 2005 11:40 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Why has no-one mentioned T.C.R.?

SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 09:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Interestingly, An early version of TCR was available on this tape below which you got free if you could down 10 malt whiskeys in a row at the durham Ox pub in Leicester. Note the early dub version of Theme from Ming Mang Mong, also.

Various - Each Pillow is Tethered Like a Rock

SRC 003 Cassette
performance - killing time
stormclouds - shades of blue
lid - crooked finger
kooky monster - job club (demo)
wrinkly pink catsuits - live for today
the k-stars - old people are fucking rude
gonzo salvage company - wired
fish from tahiti - svengali
kevin hewick - drowned dream wreckage (demo)
the freed unit - supermalt/103.2
prolapse - TCR (american mix)
john sims - diatonic
the council - mind the death
noize 'r' us - surreal neil
theme from ming mang mong (write the feem toon, sing the feem toon, dub reggae mix) - ming mang mong

Fizzy Keith's got fuzzy teeth!, Thursday, 6 October 2005 07:15 (twelve years ago) Permalink

That tape's worth a fortune now. One went on ebay for £51 recently.

Valerie Footpath, Thursday, 6 October 2005 15:43 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick has taken a break from flogging cermaic monkeys and has now become a fisherman counter in Oslo. He has his own coracle, which he is very proud of, taking to calling it "Egi" or "Ogi" depending on whether he is listening to the Krankies or Neu on his walkman at that moment in time.

His job is to make sure none of the fisherman fall in off the riverbank, and save them with the help of his coracle if they do. So far 3 fisherman have fallen in, one of whom was bizarrely Harvey Williams! (ex Another Sunny day, Field Mice)

brighton disaster, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 15:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

And here is a picture of Mick and his lovely Coracle

brighton disaster, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 15:30 (twelve years ago) Permalink

weirdest rumour i've heard is that there is going to be a Prolapse float at the next Berlin Love Parade. Scottish Mick is growing his gay moustache again after arranging to meet up with someone from the Gay City Rollers for some "armpit fun"

Herr Turken, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:08 (twelve years ago) Permalink

kjøp deg en hyggelig nye 'coracle' fra micky derricksons coracle buttiken og få en kerammik aper fri!

derrickson incorporated, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:10 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick har en salg for hans butikk , " Kingston av det Gynge " selger av mange av hans ceramic apekatt under pari pris. Han har fremstilt ettall med en foto av geordie mick's ansikt opp på , og skal sende den å seg idet en aprilsnarren!

Edna Spunge-Larson, Monday, 24 October 2005 00:45 (twelve years ago) Permalink

jeg ville gerne købe en coracle fra butikken. Er det et flot billede af Geordie? Jeg også sælger noget plastisk væsler og lækatter in min butik i København. De koster fem kroner et stykke.

den nabo af den lille have frue, Thursday, 3 November 2005 16:52 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Those nice people at Sorted Records ( ) have put up the video of the Inside ov a butchers shop live at the Rough Trade shop. This was a gig featuring Scottish Mick and members of the Freed Unit, which was invaded by a gun wielding maniac who threatened to shoot them all,(I didn't think they were THAT bad.) an incident which made the national press at the time.

Nancy Bongolady, Saturday, 5 November 2005 22:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Wow ! The Black Pope should be on The X Factor !!

My mouth is made of Tungsten Steel, Saturday, 5 November 2005 23:26 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I hated it when that guy pulled the gun.

Scottish Mick's Pants, Saturday, 5 November 2005 23:38 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I know how you feel. Imagine my predicament that time Geordie fell off stage singing "Theme from Ming mang mong".

Geordie Mick's pants, Saturday, 5 November 2005 23:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
It's alright for you, he hardly ever even bothers to tune me up nowadays, I just sit here in the back room, collecting dust with the Catherine Wheel and Ride 12 inches.

Geordie Mick's bass, Thursday, 8 December 2005 13:26 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Pah - you've got easy mate, I've been stuck in his Mum's attic for 25 years!

Geordie Mick's work ethic, Thursday, 8 December 2005 14:20 (twelve years ago) Permalink

That's not funny - I'm going to get you kicked off this notice board just as soon as I've tried to sleep with your girlfriend

Geordie Mick's self righteous sense of indignation, Thursday, 8 December 2005 14:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Apparently Scottish mick's coracle has a hole in it so he's just goin round in circles in an oslo fjord, sinking very gradually. Even Harvey Another Sunny Day couldn't help, although he did write a song about how he couldn't get any girls, which didn't help the Scottish one much.

Tim's snare drum, Friday, 9 December 2005 10:50 (twelve years ago) Permalink

prolapse fans argue whether "the italian flag" or "pointless walks..." is better

forever live and dye, Friday, 9 December 2005 13:13 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I'd like to wish everyone on this thread a Merry Ming Mang Mong Christmas and a Prosperous Prolapse new year.

Phillip Drongo, Monday, 19 December 2005 20:18 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hear Hear ! I shall be seeing in the new year dancing naked to "Pointless walks from dismal places" as usual.

Gordon Thring, Monday, 19 December 2005 20:24 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I prefer the italian flag, but agree that nude is the only way to listen to Prolapse.

Ralf Hutter, Monday, 19 December 2005 20:30 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I like to fondle my Prolapse while thinking of Geordie Mick and listening to "Back Saturday".

Dame Margaret Trousers, Monday, 19 December 2005 20:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I love you all, as ever.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 December 2005 20:36 (twelve years ago) Permalink

are people alive

cortez_the_killer, Wednesday, 28 December 2005 15:05 (twelve years ago) Permalink


I'm a little tortoise, Sunday, 1 January 2006 03:18 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Moi aussi

Monsieur Fromage, Sunday, 1 January 2006 03:39 (twelve years ago) Permalink


Meanwhile, Back in Communist Leicester..., Monday, 2 January 2006 15:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
is this thread rockist/anti rockist?

Alice Cooper, Wednesday, 18 January 2006 01:44 (twelve years ago) Permalink

geordie mick once shat in a bag while on acid. discuss

drum tobacco, Thursday, 19 January 2006 15:35 (twelve years ago) Permalink

hey kids, start jumping up and down like idiots!
the longawaited Prolapse/Pastels collaboration might be coming sooner than you think!
after a high level summit over the xmas period, Scottish Mick was quoted as saying "aye, its gonna be crackin. me an the Pastels ur gonnae record th ultimate c86 song. ahm gonna drink fizzy ribena oot a jug, sorta like th Thirteenth Flair Elevaters but mair twee. wit? gonnae gieus a pint?"
Stephen Pastels statement read thus : "keep that drunken oaf away from me or i'll set Aggi on him. got it?"

McRobbies Ceramic Mynci, Thursday, 19 January 2006 16:21 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Stephen looks like Slinky John.

Magwich, Sunday, 22 January 2006 16:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink


patrick bateman (mickeygraft), Sunday, 22 January 2006 18:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink


Kidderminster Harrier, Monday, 23 January 2006 15:18 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I am, like, so totally listening to the Inside Ov A Rough Trade Shop right now...

(Oh yeah, to stay in keeping with the tone of this thread, I heard that Scottish Mick has assembled an army of ANGRY VIKINGS and is coming over to destroy all former members of Dalmation Rex & The Eigentones with pointy things, or something along those lines.)

emil.y (emil.y), Monday, 23 January 2006 15:57 (eleven years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
geordie wick had a click in a shag disgust

henry ear, Wednesday, 8 February 2006 21:51 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong are playing a valentine's day special at 'the Lansdowne' in Leicester. As a special romantic treat, Geordie Mick is allowing all the girls in the audience to sit on his knee, one by one, for 10 seconds each. Mick will also grant the first 10 men in the audience 'a knee sit' as long as they don't do it 'in a gay way'.

Edwold Funchen, Monday, 13 February 2006 14:50 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not to be outdone, Scottish Mick is planning on parachuting into the Lansdowne from Oslo, and invading the Ming Mang Mong gig by jumping up and down on all the tables in the pub until they break, rendering them useless. He is then going to have a face off with Geordie Mick MC style! The two will try to 'out rap' each other into the small hours, using their shared experiences of leicester old man pubs back in the day. Should be an experience to remember!

Sarah Firebrand, Tuesday, 14 February 2006 11:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Apparently the MC face off went without a hitch, although Geordie's famous cider filled glokenspeil is now very, very, very, out of tune!

Kelvin Hewick, Wednesday, 15 February 2006 14:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I was there all day and I saw nothing except Kevin 'Bloody' Hewick waiting at the bus stop opposite.

Tim Brooke Tinker, Friday, 17 February 2006 00:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Here's One of Scottish Mick's raps from t'other night at the Lansdowne, when he was trying to win the MC face off with geordie. Here he attempts to berate the angry bassist by reminding him of the time he couldn't take his cider at the King Richard the III pub, on Highcross Street.

"Oh Micky, running round and round,
Watch your footing, don't break the ground.
Naughty Micky, kicking arse,
You like drinking cider, you don't smoke grass.
Oh naughty Micky, making hay,
With cider drink - You're not gay.
But take this heed, warrior brave,
Your weakness is how you treat your slave.
You scolded him for drinking gin,
And because he made an horrendous din,
So in your cider he placed laxatives,
And now you've got your girl in fits,
As she watches you poop a stream of cack,
As you're wearing your bunnymen mac."

Hamish McMcMcMcAlpine, Friday, 17 February 2006 14:06 (eleven years ago) Permalink

And here was Geordie Mick's slightly defensive reply!

"Now I'm sonic and bionic,
I don't drink gin and tonic,
As I feel the chronic like a spider,
And drink a little cider.
To the world in my office,
I send another missive.
Is there anybody out there,
Or has everyone gone off it?
I deliberate on the moment,
Will I ever have atonement?
The now feels 'wow',
As I imagine my opponent,
Reading this recital,
I don't suppose this line is vital,
As I'm feeling fairly tribal,
As I sense the awe insightful,
Cause of much perspective,
In this civilised community,
But with impunity currently,
I wait for something to amuse me,
But I've lost my sense of humour,
It fell out of my brain,
But I'll try to scrape it up again,
Because it is my main game."

Hartley the Hare, Friday, 17 February 2006 17:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick countered back with this awesome Rabbie Burns alike verse:

Ming Mang Mong Man
The way you carry on and
Drink your white cider
like a chronic spider
is causing irritation
like colonic irrigation
spouting streams of shit
from your nonsense talking lips
You're off yer heid
and what you need
is a braw wee coracle
to soothe awa yer pain
cool doon yer brane
Ye think yer like an oracle
preaching in Spain
but yer just insane
Yer more like an orifice
and I'm getting sick of this

At this point Geordie Mick and the Percy-Posse huffed out of the room and pulled faces through the window of the Landsdown until the bouncer told them to stop it or get lost. They then returned to the bar with their parkas between their legs and glowered at Scottish Mick over their White Ciders with strawberry daiquiri chasers.

Fabian Haggis, Friday, 17 February 2006 17:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Anyone got an e-mail address for Scottish Mick?

We're off to play Emmaboda in Sweden this summer, we need a ukulele technician and I reckon if we take a bottle of special Irn Bru then we could tempt him down from the north...


Jimmy Cairney, Friday, 17 February 2006 21:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Boy, it really is hard to find a (CD) copy of "Pointless Walks to Dismal Places". Anyone have any ideas?

paulhw (paulhw), Saturday, 18 February 2006 02:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

yeah real difficult

zappi (joni), Saturday, 18 February 2006 08:05 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Fantastic - thank you! Anyone know when the (CD) of Ming Mang Mongs new single is out? It's a very fashionable mash up of Stereolab and the soundtrack to Peter Jacksons latest box office smash and is rumoured to be titled Ping Mang Kong. At any rate, this promises to be the first retrospectively seminal nu-jazz work of February 2006.

pau1hw, Saturday, 18 February 2006 13:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Bored of being beaten in the MC face off thing, Geordie Mick has cunningly turned his attention to starting off yet another goth revival. This time he has enlisted the help of Eddie Dark (ex drummer for Lawnmower Deth) who has helped him write the lyrics for this toe tapping classic, soon to be top of the playlist at XFM. This could be this years surprise breakthrough hit for the Ming Mang Mongsters. Jo Wiley loves it already, apparently....It's called simply, Blackness.


is black
so black
so very black
so very very black
it's blackness
like my heart
is black
filled with blackness
which is black
so black
so very black
so very very black
if i was french
i would be noir
which sounds cool
but is not
because of my blackness
so very very very black"

Zippi, Saturday, 18 February 2006 18:20 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This thread should never be allowed to die.
But also: really, really want a copy (CD) of their first album, which I once owned ("Pointless Walks to Dismal Places"). There are some used on Amazon for US$28 - does anyone have any better ideas about how / where to buy it?

paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 24 February 2006 22:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

You can find Pointless Walks to Dismal Places (and others) @

I showed up in '96 to see Stereolab & these guys blew me away.

emo, Saturday, 25 February 2006 06:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

OK, so I've never heard Prolapse or even read this thread, but I'm sick and fuckin' tired of seeing the damn Prolapse thread everyday, so DUD.

Okeigh, Saturday, 25 February 2006 07:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

You are Geordie Mick and I claim my £5

Albert Eisenstein, Monday, 27 February 2006 09:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"OK, so I've never heard Prolapse or even read this thread, but I'm sick and fuckin' tired of seeing the damn Prolapse thread everyday, so DUD. "

you are right, but do yrself a favour and check them out.
"italian flag" is a cllassic. ( if you like stereolab,sonic youth,the fall,pil,repetition and bombastic production)

dont are, Monday, 27 February 2006 10:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick has recently become obsessed with pygmy marmosets, and is planning on opening a shop to sell them as pets to norwegian folk. He likes them epsecially because they look like small versions of the little old men he used to drink with on his jaunts round various old mens pubs around leicester.

He has also grown his hair big and spangly again, and is avaialable for hire as a giant version of Alex Harvey, and will perform his coffee table routine for the price of a can or irn bru.

Buda Pest, Monday, 27 February 2006 11:05 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick has formed a new band called Funky Mongoose and has been secretly recording a concept album about tainted foodstuffs. Tracks recorded so far are Mustard in the custard, Confetti in the spaghetti, and Half of Norwich is sitting in my porridge. More news as and when.

Milly the Mole, Sunday, 5 March 2006 00:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The other members of Ming Mang Mong have reacted swiftly to news that Geordie Mick has secretly formed another band and have SACKED him ! They intend to carry on as Ming Mang Mong Minus One.

Richard B, Sunday, 5 March 2006 18:30 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Other tracks from the forthcoming Funky Mongoose album are now believed to include 'mucous in the cous-cous', 'spider in the cider' and the highly conceptual 'fear in my beer'. The latter track contains lyrics which ruminate on whether or not to drink a 15 years out of date can of Fine Fare Green Sunshine lager bought for 5p from Croft car boot sale.

Dudley McClassic, Sunday, 5 March 2006 18:56 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Boy, it really is hard to find a (CD) copy of "Pointless Walks to Dismal Places". Anyone have any ideas?

£3.70 including postage on eBay got me this unobtainable collectors item. I'm prepared to sell it on in exchange for any of the Funky Mongoose material, especially the uber-rare 'Mice With Lice In My Rice..Nice'.

beaux knee (boney), Sunday, 5 March 2006 19:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I like you guys so much. And Elvis likes The Smiths.

Red Nagget, Sunday, 5 March 2006 19:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Menzies Cambell has joined Ming Mang Mong who, inevitably, are now known as Menzies Mang Mong. The Lib Dem leader surprised colleagues with an anouncement at his victory press conference that he would be taking the party in a new Prog/Kraut direction, abandoning such policies as a 50% income tax band and greater investment in public services and replacing them with a classic rock band instrumentation, ambient electronic textures and a pulsing 'motorik' rhythm section. Media reports that oh i can't be bothered anymore

frusty the corn doll, Sunday, 5 March 2006 22:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I like you guys so much. And Elvis likes The Smiths.

-- Red Nagget (sertro...), March 5th, 2006. (later)

It's a sign!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 March 2006 22:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yes, but a sign of what?

Fred Baggett, Sunday, 5 March 2006 22:58 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This and that, and potentially the other.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 March 2006 23:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Rumours perist that Ming Mang Mong Minus Mick want to get none other than Ned Raggett to sing on their new album. They want him to do a spoken word of one of his famous reviews with them droning away underneath. Reports so far say the results are akin to the Gift by the velvets, even though the review used is Ned's glittering review of '17 Seconds' by the Cure.

Needless to say Geordie Mick is positively raging in indignation!

Ted Magget, Monday, 6 March 2006 09:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Latest news from Seamus Wong's where Funky Mongoose are recording their album is that today they recorded a Krautrock-Funk Fusion track called "Ralf Hutter in the Peanut butter", recorded in honour of the fact that Ralf Hutter is known to be a BIG Prolapse/Ears go fff! fan. In between takes Geordie Mick was ranting about his sacking from Ming Mang Mong and saying that, as he hadn't achieved what he had set out to do with the band he is going to form Ming Mang Mong Mark Two. He also mentioned that the Mongoose album is the first in a series of concept albums, each with a different musical style, the second will be by Psychedelic Mongoose. More news as and when.

Milly the Mole, Monday, 6 March 2006 19:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is now recruiting for Ming Mang Mong Mark Two. Rehearsals are taking place at The Orange Tree this afternoon, where Geordie will be imbibing ice cream cocktails in an attempt to "consume all the (alcoholic) milk". Anone who buys him one will be granted extra special consideration in joining the band. The angry bassist wants the other members of the band to look as much like him as possible, so grow your mary chain fringes long, folks!

Wolfie from the groovy ghoulies, Thursday, 9 March 2006 12:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Scottish Mick has announced he is returning to Leicester and forming a band called Mang Mong Ming. Asked why by waiting journalists on his arrival at East Midlands Airport, he said he'd "always liked groups wi' crap names" and that he "enjoyed winding up Geordie Prick". Apparantly The Landsdowne is already in talks with Ming Mang Mong Minus One, Ming Mang Mong Mark Two and Mang Mong Ming to stage a "Showdown" gig between the three bands to determine who should have the rights to the name.

Plastic Spider, Thursday, 9 March 2006 20:44 (eleven years ago) Permalink

MTV teletext reports that some degree of reconciliation has taken place between Ming Mang Mong Minus One and Ming Mang Mong Mark Two.

Geordie Mick's Ming Mang Mong Mark Two had apparently recruited ex-Voon leader MJ Hibbett for the battle of the Landsdowne gig and were planning on renaming themselves Ming Mang Mong Mark Hibbett.

Sadly, MJ couldn't make the gig due to a meeting with his publishers, but gave the North Easterly one a pep talk saying he thought that the previous line-up of Ming Mang Mong were better than the Beatles or even Wings.

Meanwhile, Ming Mang Mong Minus One, realising that they were ultimately doomed without their leader Geordie Mick (or "Guru Mong" as he now insists the members of the band call him) woo-ed him back with a £50 phone card and a packet of Lemon Puffs. Analysts have predicted that it is now only a matter of time before the band start calling themselves Ming Mang Mongoose.

Edith Weston, Friday, 10 March 2006 15:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

At 4.20pm (GMT) today Ming Mang Mong changed their name to Ming Mang Mongoose. Geordie Mick for once wasn't angry and smiled for the first time since that day in 2001, when he heard Bailterspace's "Splat" 12 inch. So happy are the band to be reunited that they celebrated by playing happy tunes at their rehearsal. Tunes included covers of "Remember your a womble" "Drink thy Cider", "Jump up and Down Wave Your Knivers in the air", " Gertcha!" and an ironic 'funny' cover of "The Dead Flag Blues" By Godpseed You Black Emperor, where Geordie Mick (in between guffaws), managed to keep a straight face long enough to produce a yazoo solo. MJ Hibbett would have been proud.

Geordie Mick was so pleased with the proceedings that he is considering an ill advised attempt at an upbeat version of Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".

Half Time! Orange, Friday, 10 March 2006 16:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Blink and you'll miss something!

It's 5.20pm (GMT) and the last notes of the new "Metal Machine Mongoose" album being recorded live have just died away. Local music journalist David "Dave" Davies was there whilst it was being recorded and had this to say:

"Who would have thought that music this innovative, this crucial, this insanely and intrinsically beautiful, yet ugly too (but in a good, non-ironic way) could be conceived, played and recorded within the space of sixty minutes?"

He continued:

"Guru Mong (née Geordie Mick) is at a creative apex, he's burning white hot, white as his beloved £1.99 cider and this cover of Lou Reeds unlistenable classic proves it. I'm overwhelmed with admiration and love for him and his beautiful art. He's a genius. Mong Mang Ming had better watch out."

So - there you have it, music has been reborn.

John Smell, Friday, 10 March 2006 17:25 (eleven years ago) Permalink

John Smell, you are God.

Red Nagget, Friday, 10 March 2006 19:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Having failed to entice Linda to join him in his new musical venture, Scottish mick has gone one better and recruited Janette Krankie to Mang Mong Ming. New material is apparantly a bit thin on the ground but their set at the Landsdowne gig is expected to include Prolapse classics such as "Fear of teeth", "Move to limit slabs", "Liquid compliment" and "Irritating dub" as well as Krankies classics "Fan dabi dozi" (natch),"Don't tell me ma", "Dirty wee boy" and "Haggis song".

Petula Purple Pants, Friday, 10 March 2006 23:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The showdown gig between Ming Mang Mongoose and Mang Mong Ming has been confirmed for next saturday, March 18th at the Landsdowne, but in a shock move Donald Ross Skinner has announced his intention to play the night as well, having renamed his current band, Kiosk, as Mong Ming Mang. He claims that in the last days of Prolapse he and Geordie Mick were planning to form a band and it was HE who came up with the name Ming Mang Mong so he sees the showdown gig as a chance to reclaim the name. A panel of celebrity judges has been assembled who will decide which band is best on the night and thus have the right to the name. The celbrity judges are Turk (Prolapse's right hand man back in the glory days), John Hogg (Leicester music scene mover and shaker, and respected Northern soul expert and DJ), Reg Plaster (Founder and President of the Ming Mang Mong fan club, The Mong Massive), and Terri Wyncoll (Leicester Abbey Park Festival organiser and self proclaimed most important person on the Leicester music scene).
Geordie Mick is said to be livid at the latest developments and has vowed to win the showdown contest "by hook or by crook". Rumours abound already of judges being offered sexual favours and "all the white cider you can drink."

Roll on next saturday !

Rachel Tongue, Saturday, 11 March 2006 23:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

For those of you who can't wait until next saturday, Ming Mang Mongoose will be playing the Leicester Mercury new band showcase on tuesday at The Charlotte alongside Exciting Gusset, The Ploogs and Electric Pomegranate. My review will appear in the Leicester Mercury as usual on wednesday.

Dave Davies, Sunday, 12 March 2006 10:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

the mercury showcase gig is now cancelled.

instead, theres a new ming mang moog tribute band, who will appear at a forthcoming pineapster communion. The australian yeah yeah nohs will headline.

septic dive, Sunday, 12 March 2006 19:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Wahey ! I've made the 500th post on this thread !!

This is the best day of my looooooiiiiiiiiiiiiife !!!

Turk, Sunday, 12 March 2006 22:30 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Dateline: March 13 2006 - but it's a flashback to an earlier age as Geordie Mick helps Turk celebrate the 500th posting on this thread by announcing the next in the Mongoose series of albums.

Psychedelic Mongoose has been put hold in favour of Medieval Mongoose. This "back to basics" album will include tracks such as: "My love gave me a codpiece", "sacks of spuds and curly kale" (a "downdating" of the Blockhead classic), "With cheeks as rosy as apples, I'd like to get in cider" and "The parsnip song"

Instrumentation is rumoured to rely heavily on lutes and recorders, but will not feature bagpipes. "I'm saving them for the 'Krankie Mongoose'" album said Geordie Mick, speaking earlier today from an Elizabethan dunghill.

Lord Percy Greensleeves, Monday, 13 March 2006 12:05 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Whilst trawling through the net I came across a Ming Mang Mong review from none other than Ray Davies from the Liecester mercury...looks like the 'showdown' could be a 'tight affair' if this review is anything to go by....

"Ming Mang Mong's pounding, pulsating, power-pop opener boded well for their set - although it is the first time I have seen a bass guitarist stop playing, look bemused, down a pint of white cider, and scratch his head before launching into a blistering solo.
Their second song was possibly the highlight of a tight and refreshingly vocal-centred performance. "Theme from Ming Mang Mong" was three-and-a-half minutes of mid-tempo, sing-along bliss. Geordie Mick got the crowd to sing along to this toe tapping classic - surely if it were realsed as a single a top 10 summer hit awaits?

The refreshing emphasis on vocal hooks belied some seriously heavy guitar 'mingmongmangling' and made them a band to look out for in the future."

the ming mang mong t shirt seller, Monday, 13 March 2006 12:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I love you guys! Woo hoo!

Ned Raggetty-Raggett, Monday, 13 March 2006 14:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink


Red Nugget, Monday, 13 March 2006 16:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink


Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 March 2006 16:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink


Grib Spugboat, Monday, 13 March 2006 16:55 (eleven years ago) Permalink


Bed Ratchett, Monday, 13 March 2006 17:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Lady lumps?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 March 2006 17:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Brady Bunch!

Feg Wiglug, Monday, 13 March 2006 18:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Out to lunch

Hogg Hogghogg, Monday, 13 March 2006 19:06 (eleven years ago) Permalink

just a hunch

engelbert humptybump, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 11:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I was planning on going to see Ming Mang Mongoose at the Charlotte tonight, but having flown over from Australia especially to see them, I find out that the gig has been cancelled.

Can anyone suggest alternative entertainment in Leicester for tonight? I'm an eccentric millionaire so money is no object. I was thinking about havng a Geordie Mick themed evening and have bought myself four crates of 2 litre bottles of white cider. Will this be enough for one evening do you think?

Bruce Barbecue, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 16:25 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is heading down to the Orange Tree to consume all the cocktails that contain any milk at 6.30pm (GMT). If you'd like to pay for him to do it I am sure he'd oblige.

Dr Emily Pickles, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 16:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Wow - this information is gold dust me old cobber! To spend the evening buying drinks for Geordie Mick would be an honour!

If anyone else on this thread would like to join me later that would be a brucie-bonus. I will be wearing a kilt, flippers and frogmans top with a string of raw sausages for a scarf (it's cold out after all)

Bruce Barbecue, Tuesday, 14 March 2006 16:45 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The recent cancellation of the Carribean Carnival after Terri Wyncoll "consumed all the money" has led Geordie "Im" Mick to reform imaginary reggae has-beens "lance brûlée". A protest/fundraiser at the B1 club is planned. The set will feature covers of "Don't Mess With Jill", "Fire Down Below" and "Down By The Canalside". His new dread/floppy fringe combination hairstyle has to be seen to be believed.

Jomo Kenyatta, Wednesday, 15 March 2006 13:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

During rehearsals for the Mang Mong Ming gig on saturday a new song HAS been written so the set will not now be entirely made up of Prolapse/Krankies covers. The song is called "Eating a kit-kat with a weasel on my back", and Scottish Mick is said to be so excited at seeing a Derrick/krankie writing credit on a label that he has already offered it as a single to Bunty Records (also rumoured to be in the running to release the Funky Mongoose album)

Simon Harrison (no relation), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 19:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It's true- Bunty Records bosses have been visiting Seamus Wong studios where, despite the recent upheavals Funky Mongoose are still recording their album. So pleased were the label with the "Ralf Hutter in the peanut butter" track that they are now insisting the album be a double-the first disc will consist of songs about normal tainted foodstuff (the latest being "Snakes in my corn flakes" and "Drek in my Ready brek" - obviously a bit of a breakfast vibe going on there !), and the second disc will consist of tracks about foodstuffs tainted by celebrities, which will include the aforementioned "Ralf Hutter" as well as new songs "Syd Barrett spat on my carrot", "Cilla Black shat on my flap jack" and "Raymond Froggat curdled my yoghurt". More news as and when.

Milly the mole, Wednesday, 15 March 2006 19:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

A new track, entitled 'Melissa Etherdige has puked in my fridge'(and consumed all the milk!), has got the label very excited. They have given Geordie "Milksnatcher" Mick £5,000 to spend on a video for what they want to be the opening single. Heis under strict inctructions not to spend the money on white cider or any of his 'milky' cocktails.

The tears of Robert Smith, Thursday, 16 March 2006 14:23 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It took Geordie Mick exactly 3 hours and 24 minutes to spend the whole of the £5,000 advance from Bunty records who are said to be "a bit miffed".

The 'Mickster' is currently trembling away in hiding, although there are some reports of a sighting in the chamapagne bar, quaffing away on a last bottle of champagne. (It gives you fizzy knees by all accounts!)

No Kesh No, Thursday, 16 March 2006 17:47 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Tonights "Showdown" gig at the Landsdowne ended,predictably, a fiasco. The three bands played but then the panel of celebrity judges couldn't decide which was best. They couldn't even agree on which band was the worst. After this the three bands all sat round a table and had a few drinks together and decided to form a 14 piece supergroup- Mega Mong. To celebrate this they all got on stage to play one last song of the night but couldn't agree which song to play, so all three bands played different songs simultaneously. While certain members of the Mong Massive said they liked this-saying it reminded them of "Back Saturday" era Prolapse, most sane members of the audience agreed it was just a horrible noise.

After this, Geordie and Scottish Mick had a huge row which ended with Geordie Mick pouring his pint of cider over Scottish Mick's head. Then, horrified after realising the bar had just shut, Geordie Mick spent the next 20 minutes LICKING Scottish Mick's head, an experience Scottish Mick was heard to say he found "strangely erotic". Shortly after that the pair left together, leaving three sets of bemused musicians unsure of their future.

So, the future of Ming Mang Mong, Mang Mong Ming and Mong Ming Mang hangs in the balance. Who knows what will happen next ?

Sheila Template, Sunday, 19 March 2006 00:09 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This is terrible news - when oh when will Geordie Mick realise that not only is he letting his fans down but that he is letting himself down too?

It's as if he'd be quite happy spending the rest of his life drinking white cider and performing a series of increasingly marginalised vanity gigs.

I can't be alone in hoping that a night of rough sex with Scottish Mick will sort him out good and proper and get him back on track sharpish.

Derek Pakora, Sunday, 19 March 2006 00:58 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Trouble in the Ming Mang Mong camp. Geordie Mick has tried to get Scottish Mick to 'take on the debt' of the £5,000 Bunty Records video disaster, claiming that "thats how much a 20 minute HEAD LICK costs in Britain nowadays." Scottish Mick was having none of it however, as he knows even with the economy in Norway, you can get one for the equivalent of a couple of mars bars.

teach my grandma how to suck eggs, Monday, 20 March 2006 16:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Despite the uncertainty surrounding the future of the bands, Bunty records is pressing ahead and rush releasing Mang Mong Ming's "Eating a kit kat with a weasel on my back"/"Irritating Dabi Dozi" single next monday on CD and limited 7", and are hoping the Funky Mongoose album will be ready for release two weeks later. Interest in the single is strong and Bunty are hoping for the first post Prolapse chart hit !

Crazy Crazy Knight, Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Disaster has struck the Mang Mong Ming single promotional campaign as Janette Krankie today announced she was leaving the band. In a press conference she said she was leaving due to musical differences, and the fact thatshe hadn't realised she wasn't being paid. In private, however, she has confided to friends she was sick of one member of the band "constantly trying to get into my knickers".

I'm not your stepping stone, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 08:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Ming Mang Mong played their first gig since the lansdowne disaster at the Princess Charlotte last night to keep their profile up, but poor geordie mick was having problems with hecklers. Scottish Mick was there, and kept yelling "Och, play the wan aboot white cider!" which had the audience in hysterics. Momus impersonator Kesh "Mon" Mongreilf was there also, and kept shouting out numbers in a crazed mathemetician type way, which had the audience non plussed. Turk was also there, and didn't mean to heckle, but everytime Geordie's bass went slightly out of tune, he'd cry out "I don't believe it, thisistheworsedayofmywholelife!" excitedly, and run around at the back of the venue like a rooster on speed.

After the gig geordie mick made a quick dash for it, as the man from bunty records wanted to ask him about the video money, although it is understood gerodie mick is keeping the tapes of the new album 'hostage' until Bunty Records grant him a years supply of white cider!

Beta Max, Friday, 24 March 2006 11:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I heard a rumour that Geordie Mick has started his own 'arsequake' band, he scents a revival of this type of thing and he has been playing his Butthole Surfers and Swans records all week.

He is calling the band "The Horridness of Noisy Guitars" and he wants the band members to wear pagan monk outfits in an attempt to look like Sunno))), although some dry wags have conmmented that the band - who all look like small versions of Geordie Mick and are called Geordie Dick, Geordie Rick, and Geordie Mick Jr (no relation!) - look more like Spinal Tap! Stooonennnge!

it's not a big college town, Friday, 24 March 2006 12:53 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The man from Bunty Records was looking for Geordie Mick at the Charlotte the other night, but not to ask about the video money. Rather, convinced of Geordie Mick's musical genius he has offered him his own record label ! The labels name hasn't been decided yet but negotiations with local bands Bongthrasher, Bloated Scrotum and Anal Strangulation are currently under way.

Tiny Tootsies, Saturday, 25 March 2006 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The first signing to Geordie Mick's label (now confirmed as Metal Bongo records) is none other than former Prolapse right hand man Turk, who recently launched his own musical career. Cruelly dubbed "the poor man's Chico" by Dave Davies in a review of his first solo gig, the first single will be a new song called "It's Turk time". The b side is a cover of the Bruce Forsyth classic "I'm backing Britain".
It's strongly rumoured that the second signing to the label will be up and coming local band Bum Snogger ("Leicester's answer to The Arctic Monkeys" - Dave Davies).

Tantric Tony, Sunday, 26 March 2006 08:25 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I heard a rumour that first signing to Geordie Mick's new label will be the solo album of Scrumpy Jack, ex lead singer of mid 80's peel favourites, 'The Sad Hedgehogs'. Scrumpy's new work is a concept album, called "Drinking For Tramps," revolving around the different white ciders available in the UK. Tracklisting here:-

1) White Lightning
2) Special Red
3) Frosty Jack
4) Diamond White
5) Pulse
6) Blue Ocean
7) Spar own White Cider

A special promotional campaign is being orgainsied, which is being sponsored by all the brands mentioned on the album, who will be sending free white cider to all the gigs supporting the the tour.

Here is a press shot of scrumpy jack:-


Geordie Mick's Press Officer, Monday, 27 March 2006 11:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Or even even

Geordie Mick's Press Officer, Monday, 27 March 2006 12:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie has been begging Scrumpy Jack to allow him to play bass and "look after" the riders on the tour - Geordie wants Scrumpy to be in tip top condition and not get too drunk on all the free white cider that's available at the gigs. As a seasoned professional GM knows all about the trappings of fame and free drink and wants to keep Scrumpy on the the straight and narrow. "Short, professional sets are where it's at. We will leave the audience begging for more, just like at those early mary chain gigs!" said GM at the press conference unveiling his new star.

Geordie Mick's Press Officer, Monday, 27 March 2006 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Here is a Scrumpy Jack live shot from his gig at The Toft and Hemulyn pub, in Lutterworth last Saturday. Keep off those ciders, Jack!

Geordie Mick's Press Officer, Monday, 27 March 2006 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink
Has anyone else noticed the remarkable similarity between "Scrumpy Jack" - the fresh new young talent recently unearthed by Geordie Mick and "Charlie Bronson" - UK celebrity prison inmate shortly to star as Zebedee in a live action re-remake of The Magic Roundabout? Might they perhaps be related?

Blue Peter, Monday, 27 March 2006 13:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick is going to be taking party in the WORLD'S ANGIRIEST BASSIST competition, based in California, next month.

Although the favourites are amongst others, Peter Hook, Larry Clayton, Kim Gordon and Simon Gallup, Geordie is hoping that the fact he has only smiled 3 times in the last 5 years will count for something, and he has been practicing frowning in indignation and gurning manically in front of the mirror all week!

Tim's snare drum, Tuesday, 28 March 2006 11:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

The Mang Mong Ming single "Eating a Kit Kat with a weasel on my back" was released on monday and looked to become the first post-Prolapse chart hit, reaching number 23 in the mid week chart announced yesterday. Disaster has struck today however when the single was DISQUALIFIED from the charts after somebody went into Rock A Boom in Leicester and bought 397 copies. Accusations are flying as to who the culprit is, some saying it was an over enthusiastic member of the band or their family, while other people are muttering darkly about a member of a rival band deliberately scuppering the singles chances.

Tony Trotsky, Wednesday, 29 March 2006 16:02 (eleven years ago) Permalink

When he heard about the Mang Mong Ming single being disqualified from the charts, Geordie Mick laughed out loud, manically, like Mutley. Unfortunately, at the time he was in the premiliminary round of the ANGRIEST BASSIST IN THE WORLD competition, up aganist "that bloke who used to play bass for Ride who nobody remembered the name of", and so he too was DISQUALIFIED from the competition. (The Judges had banned laughing, smiling, or even smirking inanely, as part of the ABITW competition.)

That's 'Irony' for you, folks!

Laughing Larry Lenin, Thursday, 30 March 2006 08:20 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick has a new skill, that is balancing crinkly crisps on the end of his chin in a vain attempt to berate the goatee beard wearing hippies that he hates so much. The angry bassist has just about got over his defeat to 'the bloke out of ride that no one remembers' at the ANGRIEST BASSIST IN THE WORLD competition, and is keen to get back on track with his new label and band. He has written some dazzling new basslines and is ready to take over the world. he wants a Ming Mang Mong/Scrump Jack top 10 by the end of the year - and is keen to get it "by hook or by crook" say insiders.

First Class Stamp, Thursday, 30 March 2006 14:44 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Bunty records have announced a Metal Bongo all dayer at the Fox and Trumpet in Cosby to celebrate the new signings to the label. As well as signing Scrumpy Jack and Turk, a bumper FIFTEEN bands have also been signed, so the Metal Bongo roster now boasts the rumoured Bloated Scrotum, Bum Snogger and Anal Strangulation as well as Hogg Machine, Broken Parsnip,Diarrhoea for breakfast, No fixed abode, Pant Botherer, The Angry Anchovies, Sikorsky, The Sploogs, Fried genitals, Exploded pigeon arse soup, Smell of wet dog, and There is much pervertalism here. Despite the upbeat nature of the announcement, in private Bunty Boss William Bunty is said to be alarmed at the number of signings, and was heard confiding to an employee that Geordie Mick "seems to be signing any band who'll buy him a couple of pints. In the Orange Tree the other night he signed 7 bands in 3 hours !"

Delia Dangledong, Sunday, 2 April 2006 08:18 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that's less than alan mcgee

electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Sunday, 2 April 2006 08:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

An impasse has now been reached after Geordie Mick tried to sign joke Leicester band 'Mr Mcroonheid and the Cheeky Wee Bizums', who are really a performance art collective dealing mainly in swordplay. However Mr Mcroonheid (chief fencer) once bought Geordie Mick a bottle of diamond white, and so was 'owed a favour'. William Bunty is getting increasingly stressed, as none of the other bands (except The Sploogs) ever seem to do much recording, rather they sit in the Orange Tree sipping on their bombay sapphire, pontificating on how Leicester City FC have failed so miserably this season.

Harold Creosote, Monday, 3 April 2006 10:56 (eleven years ago) Permalink

amongst the wonderful madness of this place. would the turk like to speak to us? we've got a wonderful mad charity project, and we're over potential use of the tube bar name for another last tub bar night evah?

yours awaiting in ming, mang holiness?


andy black, Monday, 3 April 2006 11:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick has hired out ther Phoenix Arts Centre in order to do a Metal Bongo showcase one day festival - imaginatively entitled 'Mickstock'. There will be a premier of the of the Prolapse dvd (including Geordie's 1 hour diatribe against Evereet True), although sadly no knee sitting will occur.

Confirmed Bands are so far The Sploogs, No fixed abode, Pant Botherer, Mr Mcroonheid and the Cheeky Wee Bizums, The Angry Anchovies and Scrumpy Jack, and new Metal Bongo signings Zymoptic Aardvark, although the other bands Geordie has signed may join when they can be bothered to leave the Orange Tree. There is a rumour GM himself will be paying in some of the bands, although not on bass. Instaed he will play percussion on various 'found' objects. Art Rock!

He has persuaded none other than Turk to compere the event, who is getting increasingly more excited each day!

Pigeon Street, Monday, 3 April 2006 11:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick was said to be livid today after waking up to find that he had been duped into signing Mang Mong Ming to his label last night after being plied with super strength white cider laced with the finest Old spice after shave by Scottish Mick. Lawyers for Metal Bongo have annulled the contract after making a "golden handshake" payment to the band of £37. Geordie Mick has vowed to "never again" be duped by Scottish Mick and free alcohol.

Gloria Hunniford, Tuesday, 4 April 2006 11:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick was said to be livid today (again) after waking up to find that he had been duped into signing Mang Mong Ming to his label last night after being plied with super strength white cider laced with the finest Old spice after shave by Scottish Mick (again). Lawyers for Metal Bongo have annulled the contract after making a "golden handshake" payment to the band of £52. Geordie Mick has vowed (again)to "never again" be duped by Scottish Mick and free alcohol.


Tamsin Jellyface (no relation), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 15:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Once again Geordie Mick was said to be livid (again) today after waking up to find that he had been duped into signing Mang Mong Ming to his label last night after once again being plied with super strength white cider laced with the finest Old spice after shave by Scottish Mick . Lawyers for Metal Bongo have annulled the contract after making a "golden handshake" payment to the band of £82, three bottles of 'spectra' cider, a pack of horror card top trumps, an old copy of viz featuring 'ratboy', an old skool 70's fondue set, a 'nookie bear' glove puppet, and what Scottish Mick has been covetting for years, Geordie Mick's original orange 70's spacehopper.

Geordie Mick has vowed (again)to "never again" be duped by Scottish Mick and free alcohol.

Ursula Le Guin, Thursday, 6 April 2006 06:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This afternoon Geordie Mick was said to be livid (again) after waking up to find that he had been duped into signing Mang Mong Ming to his label this morning after once again being plied with super strength white cider laced with the finest Old spice after shave by Scottish Mick . Lawyers for Metal Bongo have annulled the contract after making a "golden handshake" payment to the band of £94.50, Geordie Mick's old skool electronic games such as Simon, Super Simon and Pocket Simon, as well as Ker-Plunk, Demolition Derby, Mousetrap and Hedgehogs Revenge.

Geordie Mick was last seen shaking his fist towards heaven shouting, "Curse You God For Making Me This Way!" before making his way to the Orange Tree to sign another 15 local bands.

Geordie Mick has vowed (again)to "never again" be duped by Scottish Mick and free alcohol.

Henry McMoog, Thursday, 6 April 2006 14:44 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This afternoon Bunty Records took out an injunction against Scottish Mick, barring him from giving Geordie Mick any free alcohol (including after shave). In response Geordie Mick has taken an injunction out on Bunty Records preventing them from taking any more injunctions out stopping people buying him free drink. It seems like, yet again, where there's a hit there's a writ, and the future of Metal Bongo rests on the outcome of a sea of litigation.

Penny Plankton, Thursday, 6 April 2006 15:55 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Geordie Mick was livid this morning after waking up to find he'd signed Mang Mong Ming to his label last night after being plied with super strength white cider laced with the finest Old Spice after shave by the band's bass player, Derek Spong. Lawyers for Metal Bongo have annulled the contract after making a "golden handshake" payment to the band of £147.50 and a copy of this months Health and efficiency and Asian babes magazines. Geordie Mick has vowed "never again" to be duped by any member of Mang Mong Ming proffering free alcohol.
Still, at least the Funky Mongoose album is released on Monday, so that's something to look forward to.

Toenail in an ashtray, Friday, 7 April 2006 20:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Disaster has struck on the eve of the release of the Funky Mongoose album, as lawyers working for Cilla Black have taken out an injunction preventing it's release due to the inclusion of the track "Cilla Black shat on my flap jack". In a statement they said "The activity implied in the title of the song is not something that Ms. Black would do.We take particular exception to the inner sleeve of the album which has cartoon depictions of the track titles." Geordie Mick is said to be livid, and is refusing to release the album without the track. He announced "I'm not prepared to butcher my art for the sake of a 60's has-been singer bitch". So, after the fiasco of the two unreleased Ming Mang Mong albums last year, it looks like this will be the third unreleased rarity for the Ming Mang Mong archive.

Tricity Tiara, Saturday, 8 April 2006 08:32 (eleven years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

hey look.

seriously though, awesome band. Italian Flag is great but there is something about Aeroplanes that elevates it. i'd say it's probably one of my favourite albums. let's say top 25 conservatively. there isn't really much else like it.

Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 9 August 2008 06:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

four months pass...

What a great year 2008 was for Ming Mang Mong. They released two albums-the first was a concept
album about space travel, "Ming Mang Mong on planet Zog", followed by the awesome live album
"Get yer Ming Mangs out", recorded during their world tour at venues in Whetstone, Enderby and South
Wigston. They were also commissioned to write a song to celebrate 100 years of the boy scouts,
which resulted in the classic single "Wiggle your woggle". Finally they showed off their psychedelic
side with the track "Electric Aubergine in my mind" on the Metal Bongo various artist compilation
album "More songs about Elephants, Nuns, and Beavers". Lets hope 2009 is as good a year
for us Ming Mang Mong Maniacs !

Maureen Grewcock, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:02 (nine years ago) Permalink


Background Zombie (CharlieNo4), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

Big rumour of a Ming Mang Mong comeback tour as well. All of the 1,459 bands signed by Geordie Mick in the Orange Tree public house, during the Milk Cocktail wars when he was ‘A nd R’ing for Bunty Records have decided to reform and play a White Ciderfest at this years Glastonbudget. Whether the grumpy bassist can be persuaded to unleash his famous ‘bass attack’ on an unsuspecting East Midlands public remains to be seen….

FairShakes, Thursday, 8 January 2009 19:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

...although Roberto Spiralli has already bought his ticket, convinced Ming Mang Mong will perform a unique version of old Prolapse floorfillers Headless in a Beat Motel or Every Night I'm Mentally Crucified (7000 Times)as an encore.

FairShakes, Thursday, 8 January 2009 19:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Archaelogical from another time, although it could almost be yesterday (except with more hair). There is even a hint of a smirk on Geordie Mick's face, although the tables were turned as Scottish Mick had secretly laced Geordie Mick's white cider with laxatives, when he was tuning his bass earlier. The second half of the video isn't a pretty sight...

FairShakes, Friday, 9 January 2009 12:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

The Italian Flag: Classic
The GIS results you get when trying to find the album artwork for it for iTunes: Very much dud

Gavin in Leeds, Friday, 9 January 2009 13:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

Exciting times on the Leicester music scene, as the teenage son of Derek Spong spearheads a glam rock revival. Inspired to form a band after listening to his Dad's old '70s glam rock albums, Zac Spong and the Spiders from Uranus are rumoured to be signing with Metal Bongo shortly, after playing their first gig last week with fellow glam revivalists The Funky Thigh Collectors.

Matthew Stone, Sunday, 11 January 2009 13:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Good news about Zac Spong and the Spiders from Uranus! Zac (real name Eric) and brother / drummer Zander (real name Merrick Spong) have also been drafted in for the latest in the series of "Mongoose" albums.

The group (named for the purpose of this album as "Methane Mongoose") have been inspired by the story of the famous French Flatulist "Le Pétomane" to produce songs using only wind instruments. The album, entitled "Smell My Art", features a song cycle (or should that be "pong cycle") about climate catastrophe caused by cows. Reports that initial quantities are available in a scratch & sniff cover have not been confirmed by Metal Bongo.

KelvinCentigrade, Monday, 12 January 2009 13:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

They've reformed! Big change in direction here. Donald Ross Skinner taking over the singing duties on this one.
Scottish Mick can just be seen dancing along in the corner.

FairShakes, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 17:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

In shock news today it was announced that Derek Spong has left Ming Mang Mong to pursue a solo career and manage his son Zac's
band The Spiders from Uranus. After a frenzied weekend of recording, Derek's firat single is ready for release and is set to be a cover version of The Queers' "I'm not a mongo anymore." Although the split was described as amicable, rumours are that the release of Ming Mang Mong's new EP "Pissed in a piss factory", originally set for next monday, has been put back until Derek's guitar and bassoon parts are re-recorded by his as yet unnamed replacement.

Matthew Stone, Thursday, 15 January 2009 18:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

Hot news for Friday afternoon - an upcoming release from Ming Mang Mong is to be a concept album about concept albums.

The title is as yet unknown, but it has been revealed that the cover art is to feature a painting of an anthropomorphised can of white cider drinking itself. This has been seen by some commentators as being a comment on the self referential cyclical nature of 21st Century Society and indeed many of the comments on this thread.

However, Sperek Dong, author of the online news blog "The Daily Dong", believes it relates to a series of visionary dreams about apple derived alcoholic beverages which a member of the band had in the late 1990's.

Dong reports that the transcripts of these dreams are tipped to be available later this year from the publishing arm of Metal Bongo records in a collection entitled "How I learned to stop worrying and love dirt cheap white cider even more than I did already"

KelvinCentigrade, Friday, 23 January 2009 15:03 (eight years ago) Permalink

Rumours abound today that Metal Bongo Records are about to step in to save legendary Leicester venue The Charlotte, which recently went into administration. Negotiations are allegedly at an advanced stage but have hit two stumbling blocks-firstly the new name for the venue, with three suggestions-"Bongo Frenzy" "Princess Ming Mang" and "Pile Tent" having been rejected by the current owners, and secondly a clause in the contract which states that the new partners will be eligible for free cider at all times.
So once these details are ironed out, hopefully the lucky punters of Leicester will be treated to a nightly dose of Metal Bongo bands such as Delicate Custard, The Flaming Flap Jacks, Pant Botherer, The Electric Sausage, The Mango Manglers, Savage Toothbrush, and Ethel Spong's exploding teeth. Can't wait !

Matthew Stone, Saturday, 24 January 2009 19:05 (eight years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Fed up of being held back by his increasingly slacking band mates, Geordie Mick has decided to go solo and has quickly recorded an album, taking the Ming Mang Mong name with him. It is thought that a last minute headlining slot is still a possibility at this year’s Glastonbudget, so keep ‘em peeled.

He has decided to release it on his own label which he has entitled ‘White Lightening’, and the release date is “on any day other than April Fools day”. He has taken an autobiographical wander through his own past, and below is a leaked tracklisting for the highly conceptual album, which is to be called “How much is the fishy on the dishy in the window?” If the album is inexplicably a huge hit, there could be a writ on the cards as his former band mates are decidedly miffed at their former leader, (who continued paying them in out of date white cider and second hand ELP albums to the very end).

How much is the fishy on the dishy in the window? (Working Title)

1) Canny Lass
2) Supercanny Lass
3) Thou shall have a fishy on a little dishy (when the boat comes in)
4) Kicking Scottish Mick up the arse
5) White Lightening, White Heat
6) Jazz Union
7) Pissed in a Piss factory (with Rick Astley)
8) Theme from Ming Mang Mong (reggae version)
9) Six Irritable Gits
10) (It took me) 13 hours (to put my socks on)
11) Milk Consumption

Beril the peril, Thursday, 23 April 2009 11:22 (eight years ago) Permalink

four months pass...

Exciting news has emerged of two new releases. After the "Fishy on a dishy" album flopped, Ming Mang Mong have been back into the recording studio and recorded a new Psychedelic EP, "Explosion in a vomit factory" (the title being taken from a particularly vitriolic MMM live review by top Leicester music journo Dave Davies). Along with the title track, the EP features "Psychedelic theme from Ming Mang Mong", "Electric aubergine in my mind (slight return)" and "Lovely Lemon Lady".
The other release comes from Rhino Handmade (the label behing the 7CD box set "

Matthew Stone, Wednesday, 2 September 2009 12:44 (eight years ago) Permalink

The Complete Fun House sessions" by Iggy and The Stooges. They'll be releasing "The complete Airvent Telephone Vasectomy" Sessions by Ears Go FFF!, A 5 CD box set lovingly remastered from the original cassette tapes, featuring Six Exciting hours of out-takes charting the development of this avant-garde classic.

Matthew Stone, Wednesday, 2 September 2009 12:46 (eight years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Exciting noos from the Ming Mang Mong Fan Club – Geordie Mick has recorded a solo Christmas album, entitled ‘Who’s a Naughty Boy Then? (A Christmas Carol)’.

The sessions for the album started out light heartedly as Geordie Mick made friends with everyone at the studio, but by lunchtime (after he’d pinched everyone’s white cider, fags, lager, 2 bottles of Bailey’s cream and an out of date half finished bottle of buckfast AND tried to get off with the studio engineers’s girlfriend’s cat) GM wasn’t talking to anyone in defiance, and was cowering in a corner under his own personal raincloud. The songs on the new album thus reflect his mood at the time.

Tracks include classics like the mogadon paced “What if the hokey cokey really is what it’s all about?” the angry and punkish “Hadaway mon! Ootside!” and the sad and regretful “Looks like rein, deer”. Other tracks will be leaked soon. Will keep you informed….

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 13:15 (eight years ago) Permalink

get back to your data cleansing, "peter"

zappi, Friday, 27 November 2009 13:50 (eight years ago) Permalink

Can you look after my cat please "Zappi"?

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 13:52 (eight years ago) Permalink

as long as she doesn't read any Bulgakov, "Ambrooooooose"

zappi, Friday, 27 November 2009 13:54 (eight years ago) Permalink

She's only into the early plays. She's more into Leskov if truth be told, "booooooombscare".

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 13:59 (eight years ago) Permalink

good, don't want her getting ideas (or smoking my cigars).

zappi, Friday, 27 November 2009 14:16 (eight years ago) Permalink

The Baker 13's are playing the criterion tonight. Their version of Pissed in Art Gallery has to be seen to be believed.

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 14:29 (eight years ago) Permalink

oh, i heard The Baker 13s demo the other week, singer "Wildcat" Willy ruined their song "The Battle of Wounded Knee" with his incoherent ramblings. something about "lilleh whaaaaahts"?

zappi, Friday, 27 November 2009 14:41 (eight years ago) Permalink

Is there any truth in this thread regarding post-Prolapse activity?

Gerald McBoing-Boing, Friday, 27 November 2009 15:52 (eight years ago) Permalink

Yes. Yes, there is.

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 17:03 (eight years ago) Permalink

BAKER 13 Head Honcho 'Willy' Wildcat is planning a Xmas duet with former Prolapse front man Scottish "Free Bevvy!" Mick. They plan to record a version of the Snowmen's classic 'Do the Hokey Cokey' in an attempt to usurp Geordie Mick's alternative gloomy album version. Free swig of buckfast to the first 100 customers of the cd only single - being released on Cloudberry next week.

Peter Prolapse, Friday, 27 November 2009 17:53 (eight years ago) Permalink

I beleive they're mentioned quite a bit in the new John Robb book.

Flowersdie (Beril the peril), Tuesday, 1 December 2009 13:08 (eight years ago) Permalink

three months pass...
four months pass...

In exciting news, it's been announced that Ming Mang Mong have been comissioned by the Leicestershire Tourism board to record a concept album about Leicestershire towns and villages. Recording is already well underway, with several tracks completed including "24 hours from Husbands Bosworth", "Do you know the way to Broughton Astley ?", "Get your kicks on the M69", "Hit me Blaby one more time", "Oh Wigston Magna, so much to answer for", "Rowley Fields forever", and "(I don't want to go to) Cosby". More news as and when !

Richard Merrick, Tuesday, 13 July 2010 12:35 (seven years ago) Permalink

Disaster has struck yet again in the Ming Mang Mong camp. After virtually finishing the Leicestershire concept album in a little over a week,the band found themselves one song short with only 2 hours of studio time left, so decided to do a cover version of the traditional murder ballad "Raped, mutilated and left for dead in Kirby Muxloe". So taken were they with the results, they decided to make it the title track of the album, a decision which led to the Leicestershire Tourism board issuing the ultimatum that either the track was removed or the album would be shelved. The band stuck to their guns, issuing a statement saying "we will not prostitute our art for the man". So, it's yet another unreleased Ming Mang Mong album languishing in the vaults, the only winner being the bootleggers.

Richard Merrick, Sunday, 18 July 2010 17:31 (seven years ago) Permalink

Their fanclub Organiser/T Shirt Seller man, TURK, ran away to Canada to teach parachuting and was never heard of again.

More bands need backstories like this

Elvis Telecom, Sunday, 18 July 2010 17:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Ming Mang Mong off-shoot band The Vitamin Sees (featuring multi-instrumentalist Geordie Mick on drums) can be seen here playing live at Sumo in June :

And the new series of long running internet soap opera Chez Lester features a guest appearance from a certain ex-Prolapse member, along the ghost of Freddie Mercury in this episode :

Mrs Quill, Sunday, 5 September 2010 14:35 (seven years ago) Permalink

“Och wee man, ye cannae drum fer tawfee!”, says Jim Reid cheekily to Geordie Mick in the aftermath of the last Ming Mang Mong gig. GMs move to drums has been less than successful, especially on the new Motorik beat driven version of “Theme from Ming Mang Mong” where he fell over into the drumkit (legs akimbo!) after getting confused by the intricate time changes, and having to sing as well.

The scenes after this picture was taken aren’t a pretty sight, (the diss from Jim Reid reminded GM of the times Scottish Mick used to berate him for wasting all his drinking money on Catherine Wheel 12inches) as GM nicks all the money the band had cobbled together for recording the next album, and goes on a ‘white cider’ drinking spree around the corner shops of Leicester. He was last seen trying to hitch a lift back to Newcastle clasping a bottle of white lightening, with his tail between his legs, murmuring elusively “I’ll be back, but next time fitter and stronger,” adding enigmatically, whilst staring at what was left of his bottle of corner shop piss, “like Ralf Hutter in peanut butter.”

What next for Ming Mang Mong…? Could this really be the end? And who thinks about the fans in all this?

Stacey Rivers, Friday, 17 September 2010 12:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...

How has it taken me this long to get into both Prolapse and this thread?

fucking up the race charts (S-), Saturday, 23 April 2011 15:19 (six years ago) Permalink

I don't know, they're fairly obscure at this late date. What's been tickling your fancy? "Italian Flag" is still my fave.

Gerald McBoing-Boing, Saturday, 23 April 2011 16:24 (six years ago) Permalink

'Backsaturday' is getting some pretty serious rotation, and indeed 'The Italian Flag' is marvelous. I need more.

fucking up the race charts (S-), Saturday, 23 April 2011 16:58 (six years ago) Permalink

'Pointless Walks' ftw. 'Italian Flag' is fucking great though, aye.

Craiger Lazer (Craigo Boingo), Saturday, 23 April 2011 18:01 (six years ago) Permalink

Sometimes I think The Italian Flag is the greatest achievement of the human race to date. Say, approximately every time I put it on.

dimension hatris (a passing spacecadet), Saturday, 23 April 2011 18:05 (six years ago) Permalink

this track from Fucked Ups next album sounds very similar to Prolapse

/人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ (zappi), Saturday, 23 April 2011 18:52 (six years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

ima go (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 7 February 2013 10:51 (four years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Prolapse side project activity from the vaults! This time from the rough trade shop in Notting Hill.

I remember retreating quickly to the back of the shop when that bloke started waving a gun about. Had to hide amongst the Sarah singles, only a Gentle Despite 7 inch away from certain death...

Flowersdie, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 13:34 (three years ago) Permalink

I think I'd actually gone outside for a cigarette (even in the good old days of smoking inside you couldn't smoke in Rough Trade)... vaguely remember being at a safe distance so I think I was peering in through the window at that point.

I get the song stuck in my head every few months, to this day.

emil.y, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 14:53 (three years ago) Permalink

Is everyone who was there going to post? If so this thread is gonna be carnage ..... carnage ....

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 15:17 (three years ago) Permalink

Bah, How come my you tube embedding no longer works? Show me how to do it samwan.

Flowersdie, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:27 (three years ago) Permalink

You had it as 'https' -- drop the 's'

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Woo hoo!

Flowersdie, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 17:53 (three years ago) Permalink

Guess I should mention I was there too then? Didn't catch a good view of the gun, so thought I must've been mistaken & didn't get too worried. Damn you poor eyesight!

Wandering Boy Poet, Thursday, 20 February 2014 12:57 (three years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

There are rumors.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:13 (three years ago) Permalink

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:14 (three years ago) Permalink

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:15 (three years ago) Permalink

So yeah, more than rumors!

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:16 (three years ago) Permalink

we're playing London and Glasgow. The roundhouse and the Barrowlands. That's all I can say now unfortunately.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:17 (three years ago) Permalink

I think that might be a joke... I mean I'd be really happy for Prolapse if they are playing the Roundhouse, but

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:18 (three years ago) Permalink

Ya never know. What about Mick's first tweet there?

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:21 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh I'm very much hoping that part is true

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:28 (three years ago) Permalink

I can confirm.

emil.y, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:34 (three years ago) Permalink

Rock. :-)

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:35 (three years ago) Permalink

I just need Urusei Yatsura to reform and play 3 nights at Brixton Academy now.

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 7 January 2015 16:50 (three years ago) Permalink

The dates are supporting 'another band'. Announcement next week apparently. It's Mogwai I think, if I'm reading Mick's response to my tweet correctly:

Background Zombie (CharlieNo4), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:07 (three years ago) Permalink

get tunic and eska as well for a love train reunion

don't ask me why i posted this (electricsound), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:20 (three years ago) Permalink

I find myself *really* wanting Tiger to follow suit now

Background Zombie (CharlieNo4), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:28 (three years ago) Permalink

get tunic and eska as well for a love train reunion


club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:36 (three years ago) Permalink

The dates are supporting 'another band'. Announcement next week apparently. It's Mogwai I think, if I'm reading Mick's response to my tweet correctly

Ahhh well that makes sense then. Sorry I just couldn't imagine that 5000 people would be going to see Prolapse, as much as I love them. I mean, I was surprised when I saw Swans were playing at that venue, it seemed too big for them even.

I only saw Prolapse once - in Reading (not the festival), '97 I think. They were awesome.

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:51 (three years ago) Permalink

I saw them once too, in Oxford (at the Point, RIP) on the Italian Flag tour. It was intense. Great live band.

I'd love to see them again but maybe not as a support act in a big venue. Still, exciting news anyway.

club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:58 (three years ago) Permalink

I've no doubt they'll do some headline shows too, but with all the will in the world they won't be huge venues. There does seem to be a lot of residual love in the ether, which I'm finding hugely gratifying :)

Background Zombie (CharlieNo4), Thursday, 8 January 2015 10:59 (three years ago) Permalink

xpost yeah that would've been the same time I saw them - it was '97 cos I'd just graduated from uni - probably the next or previous night on the tour!

Yeah I'll prob skip seeing them supporting Mogwai tbh if they're going to play any other gigs.

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 8 January 2015 11:13 (three years ago) Permalink

...Now I think about it it was the Ghosts of Dead Aeroplanes tour. The Italian Flag Oxford date got wrapped up into a Sound City show with Dubstar (!) at a larger venue and I went to see a SC "fringe" event instead.

(This post is only of interest to me but I didn't want to confuse any imaginary random googlers trying to remember which date they'd been at)

club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 8 January 2015 11:30 (three years ago) Permalink

this is excellent news - I've got no interest in Mogwai but will likely go - Prolapse were great live (Leicester gigs for me).

woof, Thursday, 8 January 2015 11:52 (three years ago) Permalink

I was at that Sound City gig with Dubstar, I remember John Peel hanging around at the aftershow party. Prolapse had clearly been told not to swear on air prior to the show, so naturally Scottish Mick's first words were:

"Oh shit, I said shit".

Position Position, Thursday, 8 January 2015 14:36 (three years ago) Permalink

No news yet then?

Background Zombie (CharlieNo4), Tuesday, 20 January 2015 13:39 (three years ago) Permalink

Prolapse are playing the Glasgow Barrowlands 20th and London Roundhouse 24th June dates

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Monday, 26 January 2015 17:56 (two years ago) Permalink

One of the few gigs I'll ever attend where I'll gladly say which band I'm there to see to the doorperson

All The Craigers Gonna Craig Craig Craig Craig Craig (Craigo Boingo), Monday, 26 January 2015 21:54 (two years ago) Permalink

There will be smaller warm up gigs too! Please let us do a Brighton one..

All The Craigers Gonna Craig Craig Craig Craig Craig (Craigo Boingo), Tuesday, 27 January 2015 13:13 (two years ago) Permalink

I'd never heard/heard of Prolapse until someone (from ILX I think) recommended The Italian Flag and by golly did I listen to it a ton this year.

Jennifer 8.-( (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 27 January 2015 13:18 (two years ago) Permalink

In work early to be ready to get Roundhouse tickets..

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Friday, 30 January 2015 08:32 (two years ago) Permalink


woof, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 15:21 (two years ago) Permalink

someone at work mentioned it but couldn't remember the venue. in my excitement i completely forgot that you don't check twitter for 'prolapse'.

woof, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 15:24 (two years ago) Permalink

Aww yeah. Anyone know how big the venue is?

Trying to guess how soon I need to work out whether I can go to this...

club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 3 February 2015 16:57 (two years ago) Permalink

150 capacity apparently

woof, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 17:08 (two years ago) Permalink

Yeah 160. Me and emil.y are booked in 💀

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Tuesday, 3 February 2015 18:04 (two years ago) Permalink

150 soz

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Tuesday, 3 February 2015 18:05 (two years ago) Permalink

Nottingham date happening now too. NAE LEICESTER MIND.

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Wednesday, 4 February 2015 00:18 (two years ago) Permalink

I hear whispers that there may be yet further warm up shows..

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Thursday, 5 February 2015 23:43 (two years ago) Permalink

two months pass...
one month passes...

!!! TONIGHT !!!

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Friday, 29 May 2015 12:51 (two years ago) Permalink

At this btw and excited

woof, Friday, 29 May 2015 20:08 (two years ago) Permalink

well jeal

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 29 May 2015 20:20 (two years ago) Permalink

Was great. Especially 'Flex'.

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Saturday, 30 May 2015 09:33 (two years ago) Permalink

so great. i've missed them

woof, Saturday, 30 May 2015 11:15 (two years ago) Permalink

Really really really great.

emil.y, Saturday, 30 May 2015 15:57 (two years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

nottingham tonight!

ogmor, Friday, 19 June 2015 16:12 (two years ago) Permalink

Brighton last night was fantastic. An absolute joy to put them on. Lots of Leiester in that room for a Tuesday on the south coast.

Semper fucken eadem!

ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 21:44 (two years ago) Permalink

Saw them supporting Mogwai at the weekend, they sounded fantastic and went down really well... except for bloke standing next to me who turns to his mate and says "what the fuck is this? This is the worst shite I've heard in my life [glances at me] you like this shite?"

ailsa, Thursday, 25 June 2015 09:25 (two years ago) Permalink

Nottingham gig was a huge amount of fun, glad they've been so well received

ogmor, Thursday, 25 June 2015 11:02 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Something new from Michael Derrick. Bit weird, bit mad, bit low quality.

everything, Tuesday, 30 May 2017 23:07 (seven months ago) Permalink

this is good nonsense

ogmor, Thursday, 1 June 2017 10:33 (seven months ago) Permalink

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