Defend the Indefensible: Akon

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Ok, so a year ago, I found him slightly annoying, but I didn't hear him that often. Now, it's Akon ad nauseum on the local pop stations (and across the country, too, according to the charts).

I'm pretty sure he's the shittiest thing to happen to pop music in years. Granted, I haven't listened to many album tracks, but his singles alone merit that 'honor.' The only thing he's done that I've remotely liked is "The Sweet Escape," but that song's starting to grate on me, too. "Smack That" is probably the worst single of the past couple years, and everything else is boring to the point of being terrible. And now, I have to deal with that damn Bone Thugs n' Harmony song, which is starting to overtake "Runaway Love" for the suckiest sappy song of the year. Despite all this, he gets sooo much airplay. WHY?!

Come on ILX, help me appreciate this hit-making machine!

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:15 (nineteen years ago)

'lonely' is really good & imagine it will get a lot of support here just based on subject matter alone (lol including mine)

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:18 (nineteen years ago)

Has he been charged for molesting that 14 year old girl on stage yet?

― The Macallan 18 Year, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:19 (nineteen years ago)

err I mean BLAH BLAH BLAH ILM HARMLESS BANTER

― The Macallan 18 Year, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:20 (nineteen years ago)

He has my vote for hardest-to-explain pop success.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:22 (nineteen years ago)

Ok, I just listened to "Lonely" again, and it's way better than anything he's done in the past year. I still can't stand him, though.

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

somebody give it up for 'lonely' tho (this is another song i got made fun of for liking)(cuz its 'rap')

ps soul survivor

other than that yes totally dud afaik

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

oh whoops good on tape store

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:33 (nineteen years ago)

"Locked Up", "Ghetto", & "I Wanna Love U" are all good! I'm warming up to "Don't Matter", too. He can be very annoying sometimes, but people (including myself) are hard on him.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 04:57 (nineteen years ago)

I still remember the first time I heard "I Wanna Love U" - the uncensored version, blaring at top volume from a hallmate's room. It's a nauseating song, but I don't hear it too often; it juts pops up in unexpected places and makes me go "hahaha wtf" and smile, so I can't really hate on it.

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

I actually like the edited version significantly more. The first time I heard the dirty version was kind of "woah, WTF?" moment.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

...kind of a...

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I had a major WTF moment hearing the dirty version for the first time - I was walking on Newark Ave. in Jersey City on a kind of deserted stretch under the Turnpike and there was an SUV blasting it and just as I noticed what it was I passed this goofy old-fashioned looking beat cop on foot.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:26 (nineteen years ago)

Easy enough to sit through on "We Takin Over" when you've got the TI and Weezy verses to look forward to. Totally shit otherwise.

― bear, bear, bear, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:29 (nineteen years ago)

what's to defend? he's a good, interesting singer with a good, interesting voice, and "locked up," "lonely" and "don't matter" are great singles. ("smack that" is weird, yeah.)

― tipsy mothra, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:34 (nineteen years ago)

ok someone has to like soul survivor

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:35 (nineteen years ago)

On second thought, he pretty much ruins "We Takin Over" too. Fuck this guy.

― bear, bear, bear, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:37 (nineteen years ago)

akon is awesome. i don't love any of his singles but i like all of them very much, they make me feel happy when i hear them in shops/on the bus/out of windows, which i do all the time. the kidz love him, and he's approx 9000 times better than any of the crap ilm's been jizzing over this year (battles, lcd soundsystem, the field, panda bear, patrick wolf)

will def rep for the chipmunk voices on 'lonely', 'locked up' is v moving, 'don't matter' is just lovely and smooth and summery. i like 'smack that' too. and he's triumphant on 'we takin over'.

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:38 (nineteen years ago)

Whenever I hear "Locked Up" I imagine a Weird Al type parody about constipation called "Blocked Up"

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

So I guess that counts for something

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

I like "Soul Survivor", but Akon isn't really the best thing about it.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 05:45 (nineteen years ago)

Both versions of "I Wanna [Something] U" recreate the same uncomfortable skeezed-out feeling of being in a really skanky strip club, but I'm in love with the logic of it on a meta level. In public, on the radio, he wants to love you; take him home, and it's a whole different song.

"Don't Matter" is pretty straightforwardly likeable, though, in about the way lots of Wyclef singles were likeable -- he pulls out some Africanisms that really work for him there.

A lot of critics seem to have decided on this hook/angle where he signifies the rap-style hardassification of r&b, but that seems like a bit of a stretch, given that he's just one guy, and it seems like r&b's female audience -- including the black female audience, and where black American women are at these days -- will probably keep that from being some huge thing.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:31 (nineteen years ago)

I wish "Don't Matter" sounded like the more upbeat version at the end of the video. Seriously, that's way better.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 06:35 (nineteen years ago)

I like "Lonely" and "Bellydancer." The new singles haven't done much for me - I would like "Don't Matter" if the chorus wasn't such a blatant "Ignition - Remix" lift.

― da croupier, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

my problem with akon is that his voice is like having a succession of toothpicks inserted into my urethra until my dick bursts from the inside

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

but i like lonely ok

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

Even months of kids playing "Smack That" couldn't kill my love for it. "Lonely" is on a whole different level of brilliantness, tho.

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

can't stand the singing on 'Lonely' at all. just fuck off, loser.

his turn on 'The Sweet Escape' almost makes up for it tho.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

(Kids playing "Smack That" on shitty tinny mobile phones, I meant to say.)

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

I said the same basic thing in another thread a few months ago, but his voice conveys so much sadness all the time that I think he sounds really good on songs that match that emotion, like "Locked Up" and "Soul Survivor," but most of his hits in the past year have been these cheerful pop tunes and seductive club songs that he sounds really odd singing.

― Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

what sort of space aliens are you people that you hear sadness when that dalek opens his mouth

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

it's like c3po decided to be a singer or something

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

that's not the droid i'm looking for, but he was the first that came to mind

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

oh i'm gonna get burned for this but his voice reminds me of barrington levy. with a headcold maybe.

and his voice is always autotuned to hell and back; it's only half a voice anymore, and more like a synth patch that's suddenly got really popular and is on every song (XPOST jess heh)

― gff, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

i think i'm just irritated that the only time i heard "ghetto story" on the radio last year was the ass-y akon remix

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

he doesn't sound robotic, he just sounds very nasal, as if he's trying very hard to sound emotional, but is sad that his voice can't do it

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

the alicia keys rmx of 'ghetto story' was awesome.

i like 'don't matter' loads better than 'ignition'.

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

this guy is not on my database, stevem and lex

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

I hear the sadness in his tone and not a droid-like feel.

― curmudgeon, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

i think geoff better be careful barrington levy doesn't do him for defamation of character

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

this guy is not on my database, stevem and lex

don't forget 600, he is our leader.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

if only he DID sound like a sad robot.

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.threadless.com/product/125x136/68-minizoom.jpg

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

That nasal tone is part of what lets him work the Africanisms, though.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

(Which is usually what, on the singles I can take, makes him interesting.)

― nabisco, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

I've managed to avoid him altogether I think, apart from the Sweet Escape, but everyone says he's rubbish so I've not been the slightest bit interested in seeking anything out.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

he doesnt deserve a 'defend the indefensible' bcuz he's had his fair share of good songs and the hyperbole about 'worst thing to happen to pop music!' at the beginning of this thread is one of the most groan-worthy music debate rhetorical tricks but i am sick of him now and i think Al is probably most otm in this thread. He did a song for Styles P a while back that was pretty great too.

also deeznuts otm re: soul survivor

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

matt i have consistently told you he is great, surely you know by now to listen to me not this "everyone" you speak of

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Yes but you have told me he's great in a way that actually says 'he's crap', like all those Patrick Wolf fans.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

He did a song for Styles P a while back that was pretty great too.

oh yeah, I almost forgot about "Can You Believe It"! that might be my favorite thing he's done and it's a shame that label bullshit kept it from being much of a hit.

― Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

I guess I'll always like him a little for singing "Akon and Young Jeez-eh, tryina take it eas-eh"

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

Alex in B'more OTM about the incongruity of his vocal tone/grain with his sleazy club tracks. I think Jody Rosen said something similar in Slate recently.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

what sort of space aliens are you people that you hear sadness when that dalek opens his mouth

Haven't you been watching the revived Dr Who series? The Daleks are totally saturated with sadness. There was one episode where one of them was in chains and thought he was the last Dalek left in the universe and you totally could imagine him breaking out into "Lonely".

― Alba, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

i'll put in w/gff that i LIKE his voice...i like the african music nasally character to it, and how it sounds sort of fey and delicate even when he's being all tough guy w/jeezy or whoever...i've pretty much liked all the songs by him or guest appearances that i've heard on the radio. he's good on that DJ kahlid song too.

he was kinda goofy on american idol though.

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

Haven't you been watching the revived Dr Who series?

is this some bbc america only thing? i have never even seen the much touted battlestar gallactica

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

battlestar is AMAZING..honestly i was so skeptical and i have zero nostalgia for that stupid old show...really great, at least as far as i've gotten.

i've heard great things from dudes at work abt the new dr. who, but that whole show in general scares me.

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

BSG and Who are both fantastic, when they don't bring up Bob Dylan or Will Shakespeare.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

Snoop Dogg does his best to ruin "I Wanna Love/Fuck You" but ultimately fails.

― lou, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

edward james olmos cannot fail to be awesome.

i bet he's even badass like eating cereal and mowing the lawn and shit.

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

Monsieur, ada-na kobishin angum 'want to fuck you.' BRADE RUNNAH.

― Telephone thing, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 19:39 (nineteen years ago)

Doctor Who is on Sci-Fi channel in US I think. As is BSG?

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

I should mention that I really like the "Don't Matter" video. And the "Ghetto" video, too.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

This kind of spilled into another thread a little bit:

btw rev wrong thread i guess but i think akons essential

-- deeznuts, Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:44 PM (Yesterday)
erm thats re 'soul survivor' if that wasnt clear

-- deeznuts, Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:46 PM (Yesterday)

Way off-topic, yeah, but on second thought and a listeniing, I think we're both right. He is essential to Soul Survivor, but still isn't the best thing about it. (That would be the randomly announced numbers.)

-- The Reverend, Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:51 PM (Yesterday)

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

he's had his fair share of good songs

Really...like what? "Lonely" is tolerable. His "Woo's!" are pretty good on "The Sweet Escape." Everything else is shit.

And I'm sorry for being so groan-worthy, but I've listened to pop music on a daily basis since I was six years old...I've never heard anyone so annoying so often. There are other people who are as annoying as him, but none of these people appear on so many hit singles.
I wouldn't complain if he really wasn't polluting pop radio so much.

And "Can You Believe It" has the same annoying vocal ticks that every Akon song has...He's not the memorable part of the song.

my problem with akon is that his voice is like having a succession of toothpicks inserted into my urethra until my dick bursts from the inside

Me, too! I actually consider T-Pain the good version of Akon (hey! T-Pain = something I like about Akon!)

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

T-Pain is having a career-in-reverse with Akon, where his initial singles were beyond obnoxious but his most recent stuff has been alright

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

uh "lonely" "ghetto" "locked up" are all good + his hooks for that styles p song, soul survivor, a few others i can't think of right now

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

I like "I'm Sprung" quite a bit.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:23 (nineteen years ago)

The good part about "Lonely" = Bobby Vinton - When Akon starts, he's just boring, but by the end, he's annoying.

"Locked Up"'s hook fails, and yet again, Akon goes from boring to annoying.

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

we get it, you think his voice sucks, racist

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

ignore the troll

― deej, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

...and apparently I'm in the minority. Wahoo. Lock thread.

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

akon is a handsome fella

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:06 (nineteen years ago)

Tape Store I think Akon is annoying too

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:07 (nineteen years ago)

his new africa chain and piece lights up! it weighs like 18 lbs...i read about it in rolling stone.

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

I love Sweet Escape, and I fucking hate Akon, I think its hilarious how he's basically been reduced to a texture on that song! But its good, those whooh-hooh's really make that song.

― I know, right?, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

Akon puzzles me because he's actually quite great in small doses and when he's a featured artist - "Soul Survivor," "The Great Escape," "Ghetto Story Chapter 3", and "We Takin' Over" - where he's R&B foil to the megastars of rap, he's like the cone that holds all the different flavoured scoops of tastey ice cream, although it does annoy me that he pronounces "one city at a time" as "one sea at a time."

But his own singles are rubbish with "Lonely" the worst thing ever. And the Akon/Konvict thing is really annoying.

― danzig, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:17 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, the little sound effect of the jail cell door going CLANK and then him saying "Konvict" made perfect sense in the context of "Locked Up" but it's been kind of jarring and unnecessary in every song since.

― Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

Wrote this three years ago, and I still feel this way ... he's 50 Cent w/ more talent.

http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0437,oconnor,56725,22.html

― Jiminy Krokus, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:45 (nineteen years ago)

What's the song he did with Eminem? That was one of the better top-40 songs I've heard in the last year.

― milo z, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:47 (nineteen years ago)

His music makes me want to slather my face in tobasco sauce and dunk my head in a fishtank full of pirhanas.

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 25 April 2007 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

Wrote this three years ago, and I still feel this way ... he's 50 Cent w/ more talent.

http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0437,oconnor,56725,22.html

-- Jiminy Krokus, Wednesday, April 25, 2007 7:45 PM

haha maybe then you can explain to me why various media outlets constantly refer to Akon as a rapper or compare him to rappers, instead of calling him an R&B singer and comparing him to other R&B singers. I never understood that.

― Alex in Baltimore, Thursday, 26 April 2007 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

I like the rick ross duet. The rest of the album isn't working for me.

― forksclovetofu, Thursday, 26 April 2007 00:08 (nineteen years ago)

Akon just gives me the impression that he sings because he can't rap, as opposed to the usual other way around. He has a rapper's soul, I think.

― Jiminy Krokus, Thursday, 26 April 2007 01:45 (nineteen years ago)

in the new rolling stone he says something along the lines of he loves going through the ghetto blasting creed. i think that just totally fucks over any chance of him ever being cool, even if he had any song that wasn't utter filth.

― jonathan - stl, Thursday, 26 April 2007 03:03 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

I wish "Don't Matter" sounded like the more upbeat version at the end of the video. Seriously, that's way better.

-- The Reverend, Wednesday, April 25, 2007 6:35 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

HOLLA

― r|t|c, Sunday, 20 May 2007 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

so good.

― r|t|c, Sunday, 20 May 2007 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

EWWWWW

― Tape Store, Sunday, 20 May 2007 23:14 (nineteen years ago)

Thank you, rtc. Much better.

― The Reverend, Monday, 21 May 2007 05:39 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

don't know about the 14 year old molestation but he has a nice line in being fan-friendly

Akon gets unnecessary

― whatever, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

Akon is like the complete inverse of R Kelly for me; the more ludicrous his actions, the more entertained I am. That shit is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

Akon OTM

― Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

I gotta say, throwing a fan off the stage is pretty funny

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

Akon makes the worst music in the entire world.

― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

It's not the fact that he threw the fan off the stage so much as the fact that he brought the fan onstage solely to throw him off.

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

I know!!!!! He should title his next album For The Kids.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

As my roommate said, "That's some Donkey Kong shit right there."

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

Your roommate OTM.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

I like the total skeezskank of I Wanna Love You both clean and dirty. Real strip club feel. And it sounds just right coming out of cellphones on the bus. Comes across nasty just right not in a rolling with his people way but in a wait outside by his self in a limo kind of way

― Miners Welfare, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

i just find it weird how he seems to have this teenage white girl fanbase screaming for him, he really doesnt seem like the typical kinda of artist that would appeal to that sort of audience.

then again.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

Akon is like all teenage white girls listen to if they're not into Brand New or some shit

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

"ah see yew wahnnin, grahnnin, up on dat poh…"

I laugh my ass off everytime I hear that song…I love everything I've heard from the guy…"I Got You" is incredibly sweet…

Did I see a Akon vs T-Pain thread recently? Search was fruitless…

― Veronica Moser, Thursday, 14 June 2007 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

Akon is like all teenage white girls listen to if they're not into Brand New or some shit

-- Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, June 14, 2007 1:53 PM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:96htZb3EDBQoHM:http://absentia.echoing.org/img/blog/jayzed.jpg

― and what, Thursday, 14 June 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

Akon almost killed me! The first time I heard "smack that" I was at the gym doing some bench presses. I heard "..just kick it like tae-bo" and I nearly pissed my pants and choked to death.

― valoss, Thursday, 14 June 2007 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

I've yet to even hear the guy.

The video clips of him hurling that kid into the audience are hilarious though.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 14 June 2007 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

i love smack that. and lonely, and a few others. but i just wanna fuck you is just shit and off putting.

how can anyone not like smack that with lines like 'til you get sore'?

― titchyschneiderMk2, Thursday, 14 June 2007 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

i like his hooks on the new bone thugs and joell ortiz songs....

eventually i guess he will be on every hook on every rap song.

― M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 14 June 2007 18:15 (nineteen years ago)

I love how the cops just stand there.

― Spinspin Sugah, Thursday, 14 June 2007 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still bumpin' that "Don't Matter" remix hard. It really does fix everything that was wrong with the song.

The throwing incident is high entertainment.

― The Reverend, Friday, 15 June 2007 04:32 (nineteen years ago)

yeah i don't like him much on anything but the sweet escape and the don't matter remix but i've had an interested eye on his extramusical antics ever since i heard about the multiple wives and diamond mine

― A B C, Friday, 15 June 2007 04:39 (nineteen years ago)

Almost looks as though it was prearranged with security, the way the guard points to the kid and looks up at Akon. Kind of thing a steroid muncher would get up to.

― whatever, Friday, 15 June 2007 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

Anyone else digging "Mama Africa" as much as myself?

― The Reverend, Saturday, 16 June 2007 05:42 (nineteen years ago)

No, plenty of Youtubers enjoy it:

sleeponuhaters (1 day ago)
i freakin love this damn song. he did real god doin this song. it makes u feel like u wanna go to africa. it makes u feel free or something. kudos akon!

― Tape Store, Saturday, 16 June 2007 05:49 (nineteen years ago)

OMG - I was just reading his wikipedia page and found this:

He was born in St. Louis, Missouri

Sometimes I can't believe my state. :(

― Tape Store, Saturday, 16 June 2007 05:51 (nineteen years ago)

I remember getting convulsions whenever Lonely was on. Weirdly I forgot all about him and didn't even realize it was Mr Lonely who sang (if taht's how you can define that chipmunk's voice) on the Sweet Escape. I mean, shit, I can stand... even admit to liking his contribution on that latter song,but how the hell can you hear sadness in his voice? Maybe you can hear the other chipmunks crying for their lack of success, but I would never hear anything but annoying things in his voice.

― nathalie, Saturday, 16 June 2007 09:52 (nineteen years ago)

the little wink he gives the human race when he sings "we can act like the charts / i can end up on top, end up, end up on top" in the 'bartender' video makes it all seem worth it.

― r|t|c, Saturday, 16 June 2007 10:52 (nineteen years ago)

so what did we all think of him eleven years ago?

― r|t|c, Saturday, 16 June 2007 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

I don't like either of those particular songs, but those aren't really the ones where I think of him as sounding sad, even though he's trying to on "Lonely". But he has done much better than those songs.

xp: I'd heard of "Operations of Nature", but not actually heard it. Sounds like Domino or Ahmad or something, but you can definitely tell he came out of the Refugee Camp.

― The Reverend, Saturday, 16 June 2007 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, yeah. "Bartender", too. I like how T-Pain starts the second verse w/ something to the effect of "Now I got a new girl, so I'm feelin' real good". I know how you feel, T-Pain.

― The Reverend, Saturday, 16 June 2007 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

The first part of my post two above this one is directed at Nathalie, if that isn't clear enough.

― The Reverend, Saturday, 16 June 2007 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

blame wyclef for akon.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Saturday, 16 June 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

this is fun!

"I don't even believe in conflict diamonds," he announces. "That's just a movie. Think about it. Ain't nobody thought about nothing about no conflict diamonds until the movie came out. Where was all that shit before the movie? That's the problem with people - they believe everything they read or see on TV."

― MRZBW, Monday, 18 June 2007 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

i like his controversial "lol, blood diamonds" stance

― sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

doesn't the kanye song predate the movie, maybe they were inspired by kanye making stuff up

― mh, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

BAN KANYE

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Woah. He actually said that? Where?

― The Reverend, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

apparently akon does not watch law and order!

― strongohulkington, Monday, 18 June 2007 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

"It's no different from The Blair Witch Project. Everybody thought that was real. That campaign and marketing was incredible. After that, they're getting Oscars. Unless you go to Sierra Leone and see what's going down, don't believe everything you're reading or see on TV. Trust me."

― Tape Store, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Trust him

― Tape Store, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

looooooooool

Akon is like the complete inverse of R Kelly for me; the more ludicrous his actions, the more entertained I am.

^^^^^ seconded

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:42 (nineteen years ago)

me : Akon :: lex : Paris

(kind of)

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam has spoken.

THAT IS AN AWESOME NAME

― HI DERE, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Dallas Multipass

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

i ADORE the new mama africa single!

― titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

I recently realized that Akon isn't the best part of "Sweet Escape." It's Gwen circa "So baby, times getting a little crazy, i've been getting a little lazy, etc."

― Tape Store, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:37 (eighteen years ago)

Despite all the hate out there, I think the best bit is the talky bit.

― I know, right?, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

tape store otm.

this also seemed pretty indicative of our times: the new akon single apologizing for throwing a kid off of a stage, that the whole world saw because of youtube, debuts at #7 on the billboard hot 100 based almost exclusively on downloads.

― Jordan Sargent, Monday, 30 July 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

Listening to Akon is akin to sonic coprophagia. RAISE YOUR DAMN STANDARD!

― Alex in NYC, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

...s!

― Alex in NYC, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 00:53 (eighteen years ago)

this mostly seems indicative of Akon throwing kids offstage (OF WHICH I APPROVE)

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:05 (eighteen years ago)

Will the new Alex in NYC era consist of dude running around ILM grousing y/n

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:09 (eighteen years ago)

Was the old Alex in NYC era any different y/n

― Alex in Baltimore, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:18 (eighteen years ago)

lolololol

I really have to cosign Curtis here.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

i ADORE the new mama africa single!

Me too. It's entirely ripped off, but I like it much more than the song he ripped.

― The Reverend, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 02:47 (eighteen years ago)

i need to hear the song he ripped off.

i love the song with gwen too. even akons whoo hooo bits. which dont really need to be there. or at least dont need to be done by akon, but still, theyre good.

― titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

His new single "Sorry" also sounds a rip off. Can't quite place the song he ripped off though. Could be nursery rhyme, who knows.

― Christyles, Tuesday, 7 August 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

i need to hear the song he ripped off.

Gentleman - Dem Gone

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

konvicted debuted at #2 in the US - anyone know what was #1 that week?

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:31 (sixteen years ago)

also what part of "don't matter" samples "ignition (remix)"? is it that whistling synth thing? or is wikipedia fuckin around

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:34 (sixteen years ago)

i only have one post itt but akon = forever summertime jamz imo

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:38 (sixteen years ago)

i even fuck with "im so paid" and "right now (na na na)"

sorry for anyone who opened this thread expecting to read about akon stabbing babies on stage or something

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:39 (sixteen years ago)

all the people upthread who were talking about how they like how akon's voice conveys sadness should love "right now (na na na)"

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:44 (sixteen years ago)

you were my homie lover friend btw

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:45 (sixteen years ago)

I f/w right na na na, good jam

― body merkin (The Reverend), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:55 (sixteen years ago)

that album is pretty good. Rich, dude that does that fourfour blog, had a good post about it when it dropped

― autogucci cru (deej), Tuesday, 23 June 2009 10:35 (sixteen years ago)

i thought the alb was trash

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:43 (sixteen years ago)

anyway, anyone know the answer to my question? shipley?

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:43 (sixteen years ago)

How is he indefensible when he's so awesome?

I played that Akon boat game for about thirty minutes until I beat it and it didn't bother me at all having to listen to the same three songs over and over again since they were so good. I have a screen capture of when I apparently got paid in my helicopter somewhere around here.

― bamcquern, Wednesday, 24 June 2009 01:59 (sixteen years ago)

The Game kept Akon from #1

― ~~~~~~~swinton~~~~~~~ (some dude), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:31 (sixteen years ago)

hmm interesting

thx btw

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:36 (sixteen years ago)

― ~~~~~~~swinton~~~~~~~ (some dude), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 02:42 (sixteen years ago)

i thought the alb was trash

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, June 23, 2009 8:43 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it falls off towards the end but mostly good

― zzz (deej), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:23 (sixteen years ago)

I couldn't even make it through once

― bitches can't stand me I got pockets on my pannies (The Reverend), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:28 (sixteen years ago)

this is otm:

http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/12/fourfours-rb-giftbuying-guide.html

What is it? Well, when it’s good, it’s a bold, straight-up dance album from one of pop's few lasting sure-bets.
Any good? The first six tracks are as good as any R&B-dance released this year. When Akon is at his most lyrically vague and anthem-aspiring (“Right Now (Na Na Na),” “Beautiful”), he’s basically creating 2008’s answer to freestyle: weird voice, melodrama and electro beats and all. The neon-house of “Keep You Much Longer” manages to out-epic Chris Brown’s “Forever” and “We Don’t Care” is a big fuck-you to those who don’t want him fucking on stage. He’s so on-point that even his money track is lovable (“I’m So Paid”). Even in this economy! Freedom kind of tapers off as it goes, reexamining the mid-tempo bangers that Akon has been annoying us with for years now. But nothing can diminish the power of the album’s first half. And yeah, I can’t believe I’m so convicted about Akon material, but there you go. The world changes in weird ways during the holidays.
Could you buy it for mom? Well, it’s good aerobicizing accompaniment. I can tell you that much.

― zzz (deej), Wednesday, 24 June 2009 08:34 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

And he's back

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 17:53 (sixteen years ago)

classic Alex in NYC post itt

― otto günne (The Reverend), Wednesday, 17 February 2010 18:47 (sixteen years ago)

Uplifting headline, spiritcrushing article.

― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 18:53 (sixteen years ago)

nine months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnAbKuGss4Y

this was so classic .... still fuckin with it!!!

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)

at least until wayne's verse. 'you live in a doll house' oooh zing

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:10 (fifteen years ago)

that song is gr8

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:10 (fifteen years ago)

weird how the production picks out that line too

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

btw i cant see the video so i knew u meant so paid bc of that

― plax (ico), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)

"i'm so paid" & "right now (na na na)" are as good as akon's best shit

― ad hom alone (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:16 (fifteen years ago)

akon = forever summertime jamz imo

― s1ocked up, they won't let me out (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, June 23, 2009 2:38 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

still totally believe this

― ad hom alone (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 12 December 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)

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