R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

this is probably one of the most important questions ever posed to ilm.

i'd be flipping out over this if my mind could even process it

As in 'a taste of the.'

please?

Retry: Be warned: The one I waited an hour to grab off slsk, filename: "R Kelly - Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2"

Condensed form:

"R Kelly - Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2" off of slsk, missing last ")" is just Chapter 1 renamed.

POSSIBLE PLOT TWIST

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0784011184.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

He's going to the closet to, you know, clean it out.

GOD I HOPE THIS IS THE TWIST OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I HOPE THIS IS THE TWIST

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Akashi_Gidayu_writing_his_death_poem_before_comitting_Seppuku.jpg

https://s48.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=287OR5RALT2OA1QK17BST4I3FY

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S A MAN

that must have been one hell of a let down / mindfuck.

(xpost "Estranged" was easily the best song/video out of the three!!!)

Um...?

oh man fuck you I can hear that

god this is great.

also i mean the gay thing might be kinda old hat for us seasoned ilx types, but dropping this type of story on urban radio is a whole difft. deal.

No joke. I was listening to 12 Play before I went out tonight (er...last night) and around "Back to the Hood of Things" I realized that the album is um pure genius? And that he's come so far since and is horribly underrated as a performer, composer, artist etc.

You lasted that far into the album before realizing that? Surely, you should have recognized his genius by "I Like The Crotch On You," which is easily one of the best song titles in his whole catalog, if not the entire history of recorded music.

I remember when the remix to "Ignition" first dropped and I heard a lot of stations play the whole 7 minutes of both versions together for a while. it would be pretty amazing if stations started playing all 5 parts in a row once they're all out, which has gotta be somewhere near 20 minutes.

Of course, it also helps that he's nuts.

Sort of like Giles.

I don't know.

I'm too tired to grasp it.

What's the word I'm looking for?

wait for it . . . .

CLOSET DRAMAS!

Milton's "Samson Agonistes" is one, and so is R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet", I reckon.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MAY 17, 2005

R. KELLY

FILMS TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET A 5 PART URBAN OPERETTA
ALBUM TP.3 RELOADED IN STORES JULY 5
PLAYA'S ONLY FEATURING THE GAME HITS RADIO MAY 19

New York, NY ... Jive Recording artist and multi-Grammy, Billboard and Soul Train award winner R. Kelly will release the melodrama Trapped in the Closet to accompany his 10th studio album release TP.3 Reloaded on July 5, 2005. After a decade of being a true musical artist and selling well over 36 million albums worldwide R. Kelly has focused his considerable talents to the world of film and shoots a 16 minute short.

Trapped in the Closet, which was shot in High Definition format, is reminiscent of the serial movies of yesteryear full of suspense, mystery, drama and packed with unexpected twists and turns. To put it in modern terms its "Desperate Housewives" meets "Desperate Husbands." You will definitely ask to see this domestic drama again and again.

The score is based on the 5 part song "Trapped in the Closet (Chapters 1- 5)" and the first 2 chapters, which have recently been released, have been welcomed by has fans and demand at radio is incredible as the following numbers will attest. "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 1 of 5)" has jumped from 21 to 12 on the Billboard Urban charts; and just a half week after being released "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 2 of 5)" has followed in its footsteps and has jumped from 19 to 10 on the Radio & Records charts.

The complete dramatic operetta will only be available as a bonus DVD on his upcoming album TP.3 Reloaded; it will contain additional footage and a mix of the best of technology and R. Kelly's creative mind that will make the viewer feel Trapped in the Closet and fully immersed in this virtual world. The first part of Trapped in the Closet will air on BET's Access Granted on 5/25. Additionally a video for the upcoming single "Playa's Only" featuring The Game was recently shot in Miami. R. Kelly has been a musical force to be reckoned with for over a decade and he has returned to his roots to show everyone how it's done; "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 1 of 5)" is only the beginning.

Very, VERY carefully phrased.

... ok i took a few minutes to doublecheck any storch trax that mightve made me look foolisher (no luck, altho it reminded me of when i blurted out keyboard classic "whateverhappenedtoleonardparts1-5!!" at a roots gig and black thought laffed) (shdve kept that to myself huh) with 'playas only' on loop and laziness flowered a little into trancey lack just like 'candy shop' and 'lean back'! so storch is all about endless repeat play enfeebling ur brain. still not great mind

does anyone else think it sounds kinda like R.'s doing a Stevie Wonder impression on Chapter 1? especially the first few lines.

S

R. is going to be on Access Granted on BET on Wednesday at 7:30 for the making of the "Trapped" video!

well here we are, four of us in total shock,
me and her
i close my mouth, swallow spit
cuz i'm thinking to myself, this is some deep shit
then i said, "so you're gonna tell me he's the one you've been talking to?"
he says yes, i says no, he says yes, i says no,
he says, "it's the truth"
i yell, "all a y'all ass-crazy, let me up out this door,
because this is way more than i bargained for."
and then she says "wait, i'm sure we can all fix this."
and then i said, "i'm late, plus i don't got a damn thing to do with this."
and then she said, "but wouldn't you like to know how it all began?"
then i thought to myself and said, "quick, you got three minutes."
and then it got real quiet, i said, "somebody start talkin'"
then she said, "my god, rufus, i've got just one question:
how could you do something like this? i'm so hurt."
then he looked at her and said "it's ... please, you've got nerves.
with all your club-hoppin', lyin', sayin' you was shopping,
and now here you are in our home, and you callin' me wrong."
she said, "ok, you busted me, and that much i agree, you've caught me cheating, but this is a little extreme!"
he said, "you are my wife, sleeping behind my back, and now i come home and you've got him in the closet, how extreme is that?"
she says, "but she's a he!"
then he said, "please you can't judge me."
she says, "rufus, this is crazy."
and i said, "stop arguing! i did not stay here to hear y'all chew each other out! so get to the point, or i swear i'm out!"
"excuse me, please, but i think i can explain what's going on in here. my name is chuck, and i've been knowin' rufus 'bout a year. creepin' around with him has been a livin' hell. sneakin' in and out of hotels..."
i said, "brother, spare me the detail"
and then rufus said, "chuck please, don't say nothin' else"
and then she screams, "rufus you son of a bitch!"
and he says "kathy go to hell"
i said "i thought your name was mary, that's what you said at the party. man, this is gettin' scary, i'm gonna shoot somebody."
then rufus start yellin' and screamin', sayin' "kathy this is all your fault!"
she throws a pillow at him and says "you was creepin' too, the only difference is you didn't get caught"
chuck scream out "we're in love"
kathy says "love my ass!"
rufus said [they're gettin' married] [?]
then i shoot one in the air
then i say "not another one of you sons of bitches say a word, cuz all of this shit i'm gonna do is unheard."
grab my [sailor] [?], sayin' "this is so wrong"
call up my home and a man picks up the phone.

lol. surely they all end up steppin' to the Lord or somethin' (till 6 in the mo'ning).
thinkin about it, in part 1 he says it's seven in the morning. as he always seems to party til 6, how could he drive to the lady's place, have some sex in the kitchen and wake up at 7 ??

and i have this to gmail to anyone upon request

"Oh hey, secret gay lover... what? You need me to come over to your house? Right now? But isn't your wife there? Um. Okay. Hello? Oh, hi everybody. Hello guy with a gun. Allow me to explain..."

Also, I really hope this leads to a series of other serial songs in which we find Kells stuck in new and increasingly claustrophobic sticky situations.

Stay tuned for the June 2008 release of R. Kelly's "Caught in the Crapper", the August 2010 "The Breadbox Boondoggle" and the smash summer hit of 2015: "Get Me Out of This Ziploc, Bitch"

1. someone - probably R. - is going to end up dead at the end of this
2. this is all going to turn into a party-ruining object lesson about infidelity

i hope i am wrong.

Cathy!
http://espn.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/vivica_fox.jpg

Rufus!
http://www.tvtome.com/images/people/6/4/1-20558.jpg

Chuck!
http://uk.geocities.com/a1kc_radio/images_comedy/a1kc_DamonWayans.jpg

Cathy = Elisabeth Berkeley
Rufus = Mario Lopez
Chuck = Dustin Diamond
R. Kelly's Wife = Lark Voorheis
Man who answers the phone = Mark-Paul Gosselar

I think this thread got me way interested in that song than I would've been otherwise because it's awfully monotone-like until they get to the big crescendo at the end where the music is screaming "HELLO, pay attention!"

ANyway, more trivially, once this is all finished, I wonder how well these 5 tracks are gonna sit back-to-back on an album...

R NEEDS TO TAKE A STORYTELLING WORKSHOP

R. runs out, hops in the car to go home and kill whoever the fuck answered his phone. WOOOoooWOOOoooWOOOooo a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket for a 85 in a 65. He goes 70 all the way home. His wife says hi and he yells about the dude and she reminds him that her brother is visiting. He apologizes, she says its ok, they go on to have some amazing sex but at the point of climax he pulls back the covers and 'oh my god, a rubber.'

I shit you not.

So at this point R. is saluting his fellow Chicago musical legend Wesley Willis, is what you're saying.

Well hey, that was long overdue. Most of part 3 was completely absurd. "Sure, I'll give you 3 mins to tell me about your romantic origins...err, you're doing it fast enough. I don't want to deal with your gay drama...I'm out!"

oh shit! and what if he wakes up all groggy and back in part one again!!! A LOOP!!!

"ROBBLE ROBBLE."

Now I'm dashing home
Doing 85
Swerving lane to lane
With fire in my eyes
I've got a million thoughts
Going through my mind
I'm thinking about what I'ma do and who I'm going to do it to when I get home
How could I be so blind
And then I looked in my rear view
I can not believe this
Woo-woo-wooo
Damn, here comes a policeman
Drove right up on me and flashed his light
i pulled over without thinking twice
He hops out his car and starts walking twords me
and says "Licence and regestration please"
I looked up at him and said, "Officer, is there something wrong?"
He said "No, except you were doing 85 in a 60 mile zone"
And then "I said officer,
let me explain please
the truth of the matter is
I've got an emergency"
He said "No excuses
and no exceptions"
I said "This is some bullshit"
As he gave me the ticket
He said "Have a nice day" and walked away
I said "Yeah, right" and drove away
And then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go around the back, bust up in the house
She's screaming "What's all that for?"
then I'm like "Woman, I called the house and a man picked up my phone"
she says "Calm down, did you forget my brother Tron came home?"
Oh. (oh)
And that's all I could say was oh
With a stupid look on my face
Said "I forgot he came home today"
And she says "That's ok
because honey I understand"
She says "You don't have to explain"
And then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
and then I turned some music on
I apoligized one more time
Then went down and started getting it on
She started biting her lips
Grabbing me and making noise
Now we're making love and she's in my ear
Whispering "it's all yours"
I said "I love you"
she said "I love you too"
Then a tear fell up out my eye
and I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said "Baby go deeper please"
And that's when I started going crazy like I was trying to give her a baby
The room feel like it's spinning
Cause we keep turning and turning
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin'
Then next thing you know she starts goin' real wild
And screaming my name
And then I said "Baby we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain"
She says "please no don't stop'
I say "I caught a cramp"
She said "Please keep on going"
I say "My leg's about to crack"
She cries out "Oh my godness
I'm about to climax"
And I say "Cool climax,
just let go my leg"
She says "you're the perfect lover"
I say "I can't go no further"
Then I flip back the covers
Oh my god a rubber [robber?]

me and swvl's two cents

http://www.mskcc.org/herbswww/graphics/photos/Rhubarb.gif

http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030813/9427__brad_l.jpg

:(

Perhaps because...?

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t058/T058877A.jpg

It's basically the song acted out note-for-note. Only big extra detail is R. Kelly sticking his head out of the closet and wagging his finger before she closes it and runs back to the room. I think a U Saved Me-style mime would be way more effective and entertaining, but as the story is so batshit it is amusing to watch someone act it out.

Well there wasn't much to do besides watch. He was a captive audience after all.

My friend just heard an edited version of part 5. Spoilers TK.

and now i'm like
well well well
what the (boop) is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talkin bitch
before it ake a match and burn this mother(Boop)er down
i said you better start talkin and start talkin right gotdamn now
then she said baby
i'm so speechless
then i said baby
you gon' be breathless
if you don't start talkin quick
woman i'm gonna have a fit
you don't know what you're (boop)in with
girl you better cut the bull(boop)
now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed
and plus i smell cigarettes
now i'm sniffin and lookin around
suspicious like someone's here
then i looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun say is he still here
she shook her head and said no
i'm checkin behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called
i said what the (boop) was you thinkin
you thought that i wouldn't find this out
and then i said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody all up in my mother(boop)in house
she hopped up and said that's enough
she said i can't take no more
then she said you've made your point but now its time to even the score
she said i know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that's right nigga i was there
with this guy in the back of the club
i said i thought you was with your girls
she said i thought you was with your guys
she said you was at that bitch's house
and don't you even try to act surprised
i said ba- she said shut up
don't you say a word
it ain't nothin you can say that i ain't already heard
then i said woman don't you try to turn it all around
cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said you're right about that
somethin did go down
but i don't have to turn it around
cuz what goes around comes back around
i'm movin a little closer to her
she's trippin over the furniture
she said wait first just let me explain
i said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh uh
i say uh what?
she said please sit down in the chair
and then she cries out i'm so scared to tell you because of what you might do
and i scream look girl you beter give me this man's name and i'm not playin with you
she says ok wipes her nose and then askeds me about a girl named tina
i thought to myself said it soudns familiar then said i'd probably know her if i seen her
then i said anyway girl what the hell has that got to do with this man
she said he know my girl roxanne
i said who the hell is roxanne
then she said roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named chuck
chuck's cool with this guy named rufus and i'm sitting there like what the fuck!
then she said rufus wife kathy, we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you.

that's it?

my head hurts.

x-post hahahaha

This thing does slightly explain Mary/Kathy's whole "don't you want to know how this started" shit in 2 & 3.

(shields eyes)

http://s49.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0B01MINX29S850AIP32I8Z5SSF

Sigh. Fun was had.

This still rules though.

actually it's more like "the policeman that just stopped youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoop"

(so don't knock r's shabby storytelling skills people - he learned from the MASTER)

it was on the Irish Times man

-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), June 4th, 2005

OTM

Sex In The Kitchen and Trapped In The Closet are the first R Kelly songs I have heard since She Got That Vibe. Is there any album that lives up to these, or should I just seek out whatever has Ignition on (the D@rnie11e and Bonnie P. Billy versions were great)? (Or are his albums too choked with non-ridiculous slow jams and Jesus joints, and I should just sit back and wait for a best-of?)

oh my god, so the entertaining R. Kelly line is not logical! Who would have thought? My point remains - the leg cramp sequence is the finest dramatic moment in the last fifty years of radioplay. NOT SINCE WAR OF THE WORLDS, etc.
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), June 4th, 2005.

erm yeah to clarify, in context i (simonides) wasnt hating on the r's logic or the leg cramp line, which i think is fuckin fantastic. the fact that r describes his graphic sex scene in the same absurdist, melodramatic, counterlogical, gratuitously digressing way as he talks about everything else is amazing.

which makes part 4 easily way better than part 3, a lil better than part 2, and approaching the level of genius of part 1. chapter 5 is a bit of a letdown just because it's so rushed, but i'll be stunned if there isn't some sort of remix/extended chapters shit on the bonus disc or something...right? please?

Heh. I'm just bitter I was wrong about it not being a dream. But that whole sequence was still pretty insipid for a play by play even for him. Are they going to have a sequence in the video where his dick goes soft upon finding the rubber in the covers?

Anyhoo, I think 2 > 1 > 3 > 5 > 4

internet innit! really, I haven't encountered a Kelly song on Australian radio or telly since 1992. I just saw/heard Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z for the first time five minutes ago, too.

with the understanding that all five rank among the most beautiful things I will see in pop culture this year.

Also, the beeps in part 5 are great.

Yes, I would have also preferred that the entire suite take place in the closet.

he said "ho, I should've known
that you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house

I misheard "bog shit up in my house" last night as shtuppin' in my house, and I thought it was bizarre that R. was using a yiddishism, till I realized it was the radio edit.

I guess this isn't a methaphor, then?

Speculation: Roxanne's a man!

“You play with your dick so much that your balls are red for the next five days,” he said. “Tina takes you down to the level of basically our roots as men — the animalistic part of yourself. You kind of lose your head and the next thing you know you are having sex for as many hours as you can with as many people as you can.”

Hmm.

"then she said Roxanne is a friend of mine who knows this guy named Chuck
Chuck's cool with this guy named Rufus and I'm sitting there like what the fuck!"

I'd like to think he picked the name Chuck just to make that rhyme work later on.

But yeah, they're still gripping as hell.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000053B.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004WIZA.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000050T.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001VOHH0.01.TZZZZZZZ.jpg

Which ONE is most going to satisfy a listener enraptured by the ridiculous drama of the Trapped In The Closet saga?

*(also the Public Announcement one, but fuck that)

I'm so distracted by the guy who plays Rufus because he's such a hybrid of Fonzworth Bentley and that guy from the Jamie Foxx show. I'm also glad that the "I'm going to shoot you" thing as Rufus goes to open up the door at the end looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

#10. R. Kelly is undeniably a patriot.

yes. i love this man.

I think even an "ironic" indie cover would be preferable to this.

"unintentionally". bah.

xpost

fave quotes: " 'Trapped in the Closet' was designed to go around the world sort of like the Ghost of Christmas Past — house to house, this situation to that situation, sometimes exposing people in their regular lives. Anybody's closet I can pop up in and see what they're going through and tell the world what's going on in their lives. But I don't come unless there's drama."

"I must admit that doing 'Trapped,' I did not know my writing skills could go to such a depth — then high, then sideways. My mother used to tell me, 'Boy, your elevator goes sideways.' I'm starting to believe her."

However, the s/t album was just mediocre, with only a few standouts, and since then, most of what I've heard from him has been average to abysmal.

Is this new stuff any different?

" >> R Kelly <<
Who would have thought the day would come when
we'd be bigging up R Kelly? But you have to watch
his five-part operapa, quite possibly the greatest
thing we've ever, ever seen. It tells the story of
Kelly getting caught in a closet by the husband of
his latest lady and the real-time delivery is what
brings the laughs, "I've got cramp!" being a
choice moment. (Click the video section.)
http://www.r-kelly.com/index_main.html
"

"Operapa"!??!?!

I finally(!) got the chance to see the videos for 4&5. I like the acting choice of "Gwendolyn" to be a little more in his face and holding her own that the lyrics would've led you to believe. But do cops ever smoke like that policeman does? That really bugged me.

Bearing this somewhat unwieldy maxim in mind, I present to you:

The Six Things You Really Should Know About R. Kelly and His #1 Album, TP.3

THE “R” STANDS FOR “ROBERT.”
Robert Sylvester, to be precise. Kelly also answers to “The R”, “The Pied Piper” and “Kells”.

THE “TP” IN QUESTION IS NOT CHARMIN.
The reference is to Kelly’s phenomenally successful 1993 album Twelve Play, so called because it’s presumably three times as good as foreplay and also, well, it’s twelve tracks long. Twelve Play was Kelly’s second album and the first to bring him international fame, courtesy of the smash hit ‘Bump and Grind’. Twelve Play (which, appropriately, went sextuple platinum) features one of the truly great track titles of all time in ‘I Like the Crotch on You.’

In 2000, Kelly released a sequel to Twelve Play titled TP-2. 2, like 1, is almost entirely comprised of raunchy slow jams; ‘Feelin’ On Yo’ Booty’, ‘Strip for You’ and ‘Greatest Sex’, to name a few. TP.3 was released on July 5th of this year and has more or less dominated the pop album charts since. Notably outrageously titled cuts on TP.3 include ‘Kickin’ It With Your Girlfriend’, ‘Hit It Til’ The Morning’ and ‘Sex in the Kitchen’ (featuring the memorable lyric, “This is what I’m ready to do / Girl, I’m ready to toss your salad / While making love, girl; I’ll be feasting”).

IT’S AWFULLY GOOD.
Among R. Kelly fans, at least, the general consensus seems to be that TP.3 is as accomplished and fully realized an album as the man has made. There are numerous experiments in genre; Kelly shows an affinity to Dancehall and reggae with ‘Slow Wind’ and ‘Reggae Bump, Bump,’ while ‘Girls Go Crazy’ and the first single, ‘Playas Only’ (a duet with ex-G-unit rapper The Game) is pure hip hop. There are a number of surprisingly touching love songs; ‘Touchin’, with long time collaborator Nivea is a gentle, seductive ballad with a typical Kelly-ish twist: the performers are singing to each other ostensibly in flagrante delicto. There’s also at least one true Summer Jam: ‘Happy Summertime’ with Snoop Dogg, which is all but certain to soon be booming from a Jeep near you.

IF YOU ENJOYED AL GREEN IN THE SEVENTIES, MARVIN GAYE IN THE EIGHTIES OR PRINCE IN THE NINETIES, TP.3 IS WORTH A LOOK
Like Al, Kelly’s ongoing struggle between the twin poles of his libido and his spirituality is the crux of his music; Kelly’s last album, the two CD Happy People/U Saved Me, includes an entire disc of gospel music. The lyrical raunchiness and comedy of Marvin’s classic Midnight Love neatly dovetails into R’s later opuses and TP.3 mirrors Prince’s Diamonds and Pearls-era blend of double-entendre, obsessively catchy hooks and silky-smooth delivery. As a vocal performer, Kelly rivals Michael Jackson in his eighties prime; R’s voice is provocative in its range, intensity and unrivalled sincerity.
More than halfway through the decade, a reasonable case could be made for Kells as the preeminent soul singer of the naughties; time will tell if he’ll take his place among the luminaries, but albums as strong as TP.3 only help.

IS HE SERIOUS?
That’s the million dollar question music critics split over: R. Kelly’s music is arch, sophisticated and beautifully produced but so thick with malapropism that many writers damn Kelly as a filthy-minded and unintentional savant rather than as a landmark artist. Personally, I find it impossible to dismiss Kells so easily; too much of his music resonates too deeply to write it off as accidentally or naively crafted. This ‘Intelligent Design’ approach to understanding Kelly almost willfully neglects the depth of meaning, expression and comedy that is baldly apparent in much of his work. While it’s putting it lightly that Kelly has some issues with hubris (all of the Twelve Plays are defined by excess and self-aggrandizement), it seems terribly obvious that the man approaches his music with a mix of humor and gravitas that is methodical, measured and meaningful. R is ridiculously prolific (producing something more than an album a year), iconoclastic, fantastically popular and fun to listen to; if this is him screwing around, god help us if he ever gets serious.

RIGHT, RIGHT; BUT WHAT’S ALL THIS ABOUT HIM COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET?
Ah yes, the ‘Trapped in the Closet’ cycle. This hyper-meta soap opera comprises the last sixteen and a half minutes of TP.3 and deserves some special attention. Divided into five roughly three minute songs, ‘Trapped’ has our hero narrating the sad story of his raisonneur, Sylvester (see above), a married man who has misspent his night out by going home with a barely remembered stranger. Sylvester promptly attempts to leave but is stalled by the sudden return of his one-night-stand’s husband. Finding himself captive in a one exit, fifth floor bedroom; Sylvester is force to hide in the closet, where he espies his ex-lover and her husband begin to get it on. Then Sylvester’s cellular phone goes off and all hell breaks loose. The next four songs involve a concealed weapon, a shocking confession (“Well, since we’re all coming out the closet / I’m not about to be the only one who’s broken hearted”), an unbelievable love polyhedron, a suspicious policeman, a half-dozen red herrings and an unfortunate leg cramp. The result, especially when rendered in obsessively versimilitudinous music videos, is alternately hysterical, gripping and absurd beyond words. I strongly recommend you experience it for yourself by visiting Kells’ at http://www.r-kelly.com/ ; click on the video tab.

P.S. As a copy editor, I need to know: Is the correct title of the song "Playas Only" or "Playa's Only"? I've seen it both ways several times. Thanks!

And you're right about it not being the first single; it's just the first single SINCE THE ALBUM DROPPED, so I got that twisted. I also said "comedy" twice in the Al green section and should cut one of those in favor of, say "virtuosity".

I'm glad someone liked my "ID" reference; I tickled myself with that one.

Perhaps funnier in theory than execution, but they get massive points for sticking close to the concept and nailing the medium dead-on.

Eh?

about time!

I've only gotten to see 1-5 and I'm stuck at work, aaaaaaagh

No, ok — thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=scKnvg-JIDE&search=r.%20kelly

I just saw this. All of it. Why?

-- Sick Mouthy

Dude, this is the most classic thing ever. I think I know all the words. My favourite bit in the video is the bit when R. sings "midget!" and there's a delay on his voice and for everytime the word is repeated he teleports back slightly until he's standing in the kitchen cupboard with his cigar. A masterstroke of visual art.

all trapped in the closet fans should check out the sparkle 'be careful' video too.

eh? I didn't get this at all...far too po-faced. where's the love, I ask you? where's the love?

two years ago, promises is all i heard :(

i think the sincerity in 'be careful' works in much the same way as in TITC - TITC is more obviously tongue-in-cheek maybe but there's the same love of grand gestures and melodrama (ie both funny and moving).

btw sparkle is the aunt of the girl r kelly pissed on.

My friend works for a prop warehouse that supplies all the props for the trapped in the closet videos. Apparently they're currently filming the follow-up. Which is kind of stupid and nuts, because i can't imagine people really still care.

aside from brits reading about it on wikipedia, i guess