corniest selection on the ringer's "40 best songs of 1999"

No doubt about it - these are the 40 best songs of 1999.

33. Blur - Tender

I don't have no trouble with you fucking me but I got a little problem with you not fucking me

it has to be “mambo no. 5”

19. LFO - Summer Girls
20. Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
21. Smash Mouth - All Star

the nostalgia-for-its-own-sake trifecta

all star just a super great song imo

i don’t remember LFO

Out of all the Shania singles from 1999 that could be on that list, that's the one they pick?

Not the corniest but 'That Don't Impress Me Much' has always been and will always be a complete pile of shit.

This might win:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ptQatdjOFM

Surprised that there's a few I actually love on that list. 'Angel of Mine' is all-time.

Corny or not, these are the songs I still like considerably:

2. TLC - No Scrubs
3. Mariah Carey - Heartbreaker ft. Jay-Z
7. Lauryn Hill - Ex-Factor
9. Ol' Dirty Bastard - Got Yo Money ft. Kelis
12. The Roots - You Got Me ft. Erykah Badu
14. Lauryn Hill - Everything Is Everything
16. Whitney Houston - It's Not Right, But It's Okay
23. New Radicals - You Get What You Give
26. Jay-Z - Can I Get A... ft. Ja Rule & Amil
27. Busta Rhymes - What's It Gonna Be? ft. Janet Jackson
28. Monica - Angel of Mine
31. Fiona Apple - Fast As You Can
38. Sisqo - Thong Song [more of a 2000 song tho]

Because it’s fucking great?

xp

thread making me have traumatizing flashbacks to mtv’s “say what?” karaoke show

add a few more xxxs

38. Sisqo - Thong Song [more of a 2000 song tho]

absolutely a 2000 song, would be my vote here strictly for chronological laziness

yeah the ones eric picked are good, would add juvenile, dre, destiny's child, and mobb deep to the list of good songs.

i think the whole is cornier than the sum of its parts.

here's the list with write-ups, btw: https://99music.theringer.com/?_ga=2.154857336.1527893212.1564409258-501315457.1464730919

Imagine doing this list without

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7Fy5w2klbg

Imagine doing this list without

I remember that when Boston's KISS 108 played 'That Don't Impress me Much", they replaced the line 'ok, so you're Brad Pitt' with 'ok, so you're Matt Siegel' in honor of their morning talk show host. presumably they convinced (paid?) Shania to recite the line during an interview and dubbed it in afterwards. definitely an improvement on the original

https://i.imgur.com/5L71DAm.jpg

Didn’t Spin make a “Best Songs of 1999” list like just this past week???

LFO for (a) being shit and (b) stealing the name of the real LFO

Just to give you a taste of how much '99-style pop radio corn has been pre-drained from this list:

Santana ft. Rob Thomas - 'Smooth'
Ricky Martin - 'Livin' La Vida Loca'
Enrique Iglesias - 'Bailamos'
Shawn Mullins - 'Lullaby'
Tal Bachman - 'She's So High'
Phil Collins - 'You'll Be in My Heart'
Citizen King - 'Better Days'
Blessid Union of Souls - 'Hey Leonardo'

I mean

https://www.spin.com/featured/best-alt-rock-songs-1999-list/

These songs suck too!!

It kinda felt like a corny year even at the time.

I think I hate the 90’s based on this list.

This music ruined high school for me.

"You Get What You Give" is one of the greatest songs of all time so I'll go for that one.

get what you give seems like quite a popular song irl and on ilx but I've always despised it

Ricky Martin - 'Livin' La Vida Loca'

that song is on there!

i also have a soft spot for citizen king's better days, but i'll accept that as one of my character flaws.

Impossible to pick - this my core, heart music.

“Steal my sunshine” is the only fun song in this list.

LOL flappy

After some thought I really don't see how this can't be "Summer Girls" - just excruciating to listen to, then & now.

"You Get What You Give" is one of the greatest songs of all time so I'll go for that one.

― The World According To.... (Michael B), Tuesday, July 30, 2019 12:04 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

re-read the thread question!

Having a look if things were better in the UK. Short answer: no. Longer answer: There are a few good songs if you keep reading.

http://www.uk-charts.top-source.info/top-100-1999.shtml

There is nothing on the ringer's list in the same galaxy of corniness as The Millennium Prayer.

How about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

These lists always miss “Windowlicker” which is one of the finest singles and music videos of the 90’s let alone 1999.

The coda alone puts all these “top 40” to shame.

i do sincerely applaud the restraint it took to leave 'blue (da ba dee)' off the final list.

“Steal My Sunshine” places on both the Ringer and Spin lists and neither write-up mentions the dialog. That’s the best part of the song!

the correct answer is that it's all corny and 1999 was the corniest year of all of history

1999 was not a great year for me but I can’t blame the music

How have I never heard that sunscreen song until just now? What a piece of shit.

Love about 30 of these, including some corny ones.

Corniest? Sure, “Mambo No. 5” and “That Don’t Impress Me Much”, but also “Maria, Maria” and “Heartbreaker”. I’ve never liked “Heartbreaker”, so I guess I’ll vote for that one. (The *NSYNC probably qualifies, but I hardly remember it as it wasn’t a hit over here.)

How have I never heard that sunscreen song until just now? What a piece of shit.

― Mr. Snrub

Is that the Baz Luhrman song? He is like a reverse alchemist, he turns gold into shit.

"heartbreaker" is good af, get outta here

These lists always miss “Windowlicker” “NORTHERN LITES” which is one of the finest singles and music videos of the 90’s let alone 1999.

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Tuesday, July 30, 2019 5:15 PM (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

fixed

29. NSYNC - God Must've Spent A Little More Time On You

this is the correct answer, this is like half a step removed from "butterfly kisses"

Corniest song title

Can't stand Northern Lights, completely put me off SFA.

Sunscreen is too dull to be corny.

'God Must've Spent A Little More Time On You' aka 'God is a Tender and Considerate Lover'

apparently that song is about their moms, which makes it approx 1 million times worse

Eww

Was it one of N*Sync's or one of the Backstreet Boys' moms who wrote a quicky bio about how hot and desirable her son was?

ok since this isn't a poll for the "best" song (so many of these are stone cold classics, at least 70% of the list) I've gotta go with N*SYNC's "God Must've Spent A Little More Time On You" which I don't remember but assume is from their Xmas album, and there is nothing cornier than Xmas albums.

your love is like a river, peaceful and deep
your soul is like a secret that i never could keep

^^^ obviously horrible song, were there no better 1999 nsync singles to choose from? looking at wikipedia now, there weren't, though i kind of like "i drive myself crazy." also flappy it wasn't from their xmas album! it was one of the final two singles from the s/t, which came out in 1997 ffs, it's a really arbitrary inclusion

16. Whitney Houston - It's Not Right, But It's Okay

if we were voting for best songs

was thinking about doing a best songs for this when this closed, cause there are some bangers on here for sure.

I thought it wsd best songs also Shania is great gtf

"heartbreaker" is good af, get outta here

it's probably my age but i would enjoy listening to most of these songs

it's a total fantasy rip and it still slaps

xp

I thought it wsd best songs also Shania is great gtf

Yeah I love that Shania song.

when i was a 9-year-old in 1999, i have to say my least favorite one of these was cher's 'believe,' but i've come around on that one a bit. not to liking it, but to appreciating it as cheese and a pretty good choice for karaoke.

it's also kinda mind-boggling how huge that song was, considering cher hadn't topped the charts since 1973.

I just relistened to "Believe" and holy cow it does not sound as good as I remember

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMY0k0-D9JQ

The "Dance!" moment in the sunscreen song is as good a contender for corniness circa '99 as any.

I just relistened to "Believe" and holy cow it does not sound as good as I remember

How good did you remember it sounding?

A low moment in my psychic history was hearing "Believe" for the first time and thinking "it's too bad Cher could never have a hit today, even when she's trying really really hard to." Not only was I wrong, but then I had to listen to the song day in, day out for a half-year.

After some thought I really don't see how this can't be "Summer Girls" - just excruciating to listen to, then & now.

this was my first thought, there's something so cynical about that song, the first boy band tune that felt like a straight cash-in

but then I saw "God Must've Spent a Little More Time on You" which must've come out the summer of '99 because I remember that tune being #1 on TRL like every single day...corniness is basically that tune's only trait. it sounds like something that would've come from one of those manufactured bands on the Disney channel, with all those little *doink* noises everywhere

i love "believe"

also this was the year I turned 13 so the videos for "What's It Gonna Be?", "That Don't Impress Me Much", and to a lesser extent "Steal My Sunshine" were iconic to me for a different reason

Just learned that the Buffy episode that clowns so hard on Believe was released a week before the single even came out.

https://buffy.fandom.com/wiki/Living_Conditions October 12, 1999
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Believe_(Cher_song) October 19, 1998

Oh fuck. nevermind

lol

Mobb Deep - "Quiet Storm" is great and weirdly out of character for this list

OK lol I actually pressed play on frogbs's video.

xp Deeply out of character.

No Sandstorm no credibility.

believe is amazing

voting for red hot chili peppers, the corniest artists itt

they might be, but i don't think "scar tissue" is v corny

'Thong Song' is the corniest (if 'corny' means "closest to '99 and the song got stuck in '99").

Len and TLC are the best.

there was something weird going on with the music videos at the time, I remember watching a ton of them on MTV back then and like half of them were set on some crazy spaceship with the singers appearing in skintight outfits straight out of the original Star Trek. maybe it was just a side effect of CGI getting a little better (lmao) but I'm kind of curious how this started. was it Michael Jackson?

len, juvenile, new radicals, and sisqo are all timers for me

yah those plus odb and fiona are my faves

frogbs, i mean, it was the era of X-Files, Y2k tension, the Matrix, WTO protests, disillusionment with govt w/r/t Lewinsky stuff, conspiracy theory, David Icke, Behold a Pale Horse... it's not a stretch that music videos are gonna look that way

while you are considering what to vote for:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdKTx-8EvtM

Scar Tissue is corny af and it's only the presence of Tender than prevented me from voting for it.

most of these songs are really good but as a whole this list is basic as fuck so who the fuck cares

1. Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
2. TLC - No Scrubs
3. Mariah Carey - Heartbreaker ft. Jay-Z
4. Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
5. Len - Steal My Sunshine

Breaking some new ground with this unusual yet intriguing top 5.

Baby One More Time is from 1998.

Can't wait for their top 40 albums of 1999 topped by "Now 3" and "Now 2."

their album list is a bit more interesting

citizen king - better days reminds me of a mix cd they gave out at aeropostale if you bought enough cargo shorts and puka shell necklaces or something. wish i could find a tracklist. think "hooch" by everything was on there. the blue monday cover by orgy was definitely on there.

'steal my sunshine' dude employs a weird loud whisper affectation that is my most hated vocal performance ever. so voting for that.

its fun to imitate though

there was a time when I was kinda curious what other songs by Len sounded like. not anymore, oh well

I checked out the album once, I think the rest of the tracks were mainly skate-punk or something like that.

ftr "Heartbreaker" fucking sucks

'steal my sunshine' dude employs a weird loud whisper affectation that is my most hated vocal performance ever. so voting for that.

― triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, July 31, 2019 3:21 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

this is soooooo otm, such an awful delivery that ruins an otherwise beautiful song.

anyone have an 'instrumental' version that just cuts his vox?

it's the b-side on the "california realin' remix" single

What was that thread, from a year or so back, where we were obsessing over a sub-genre of "pop songs with breakbeats" from this era?

'scar tissue' makes me squirm. the lyrics are embarrassing, dave matthews-grade j/o. the narrative behind the album and rhcp's ascent to wise rock survivors makes me want to barf. rhcp is like the ultimate example of the kind of band that a certain person will be like 'this band is good and i will listen to them, most of my musical opinions are contrarian and turgid' about. their boring respectability now is just so goddamn mindless considering their songs have never not been like 80% repellent with lyrics that can't stay away from being gross and can't say anything interesting or appealing even in their "mature" phase. i mean feel free to point to counter-examples anyone, i will nod and appreciate your deep listening drive and generosity of spirit, but i'm not going to follow you there lol.

feel like hating rhcp is way more acceptable than liking them

tbf most of my musical opinions are contrarian and turgid

xp haha i think that depends a lot on where a person lives

Rhcp, green day, and foo fighters all feel like the last generation that worked at rock inc. before the company went outta business so they get remembered as members of The Greats simply by outliving everyone

ftr "Heartbreaker" fucking sucks

The girl at the student house next to mine played Californication on repeat for the entire summer of 2000, and very loud too, I hate that fucking album more than I can say

very loud too

this is just the natural volume of californication

I've read quite a bit about it being the ultimate example of a victim of the loudness wars, doesn't make me hate it any less tbh.

lol I mean if u think abt it californication is just a combination of words that means “fucking california” and listen buddy fuckin a whole state is not quiet work

Summer Girls is still worst tho

and it's in the rob Sheffield list in rs too. what the fuck is wrong with these people?

ftr "Heartbreaker" fucking sucks

The remix with Missy Elliot tho, I'm fully on board with.

i always thought it was a portmanteau of 'california' and 'vacation'

the lead singer of the band Everything looks a lot like rob schneider in this "Hooch" video

a buddy of mine had that Lou Bega CD, it was low key pretty hilarious

two of the songs are straight up rewrites of "Mambo No. 5" and there's a skit (??) that involves an awful Italian accent

kinda reminds me of Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs, where you have a cool novelty single and then have to write a full LP but you don't really have any ideas beyond that one thing. although I liked "Tricky Tricky" a lot

i always thought it was a portmanteau of 'california' and 'vacation'

― triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, July 31, 2019 3:31 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ur thinking of “californiacation” one letter makes a huge difference between a family trip to anaheim and a trip to make a family WITH anaheim

feel like rhcp's a better soundtrack to the buena park pirate dinner show

20. Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5

40. Ricky Martin - Livin La Vida Loca

The 'snoball is working as a painter & decorator and the boss's radio is tuned to Capital and all they seem to play are these two songs' duo.

'steal my sunshine' dude employs a weird loud whisper affectation that is my most hated vocal performance ever. so voting for that.
― triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, July 31, 2019 3:21 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Credit where it's due, Mike Edwards from Jesus Jones laid the foundation for this utterly indefensible style of 'singing'.

Also: please stop evoking 'Hooch' why because being reminded of that song is making me literally die.

(Countdown to me creating the 'Hooch' thread no one asked for.)

29. NSYNC - God Must've Spent A Little More Time On You

didn't even hesitate

xp hooch music video needs to be sectioned and polled

i'm going with miami. still get embarrassed when that song comes on. nothing on this list is 'cornier' to me.

2nd and 3rd are summer girls and god mustve spent, respectively.

xpost Okay well I just watched that video and can confidently state that that combination of sound and image is the purest distillation of evil ever delivered into the world.

literally cannot imagine any person in the last, say, dozen years going "hmm you know what I need to hear right now?! Miami by Will Smith!! Yes!!! What a tune!"

you haven't met me

lol. alas :(

although it always makes me want to listen to and the beat goes on by the whispers which is far superior

Okay I haven’t actually listened to the lyrics to Summer Girls until now and holy shit lmao

billy shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets

someone needs to tell David Chang about this ringer list and remind him of the "chinese food makes me sick" line in Summer Girls

https://s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/K1f1EGRYBHbEbHO-cCUw-g/348s.jpg

this Mexican restaurant nearby is called “Maria Maria” and it has what looks like a Carlos-style PRS guitar on the logo

"Summer Girls" lyrics poll

There was a good man named Paul Revere.

god must have spent

i already mentioned this in another thread but neither "maria maria" nor "thong song" should be on any 1999 list

i must say i unironically like-to-love most of these songs (including "summer girls") but it is quite an uninspired list nonetheless

not sure what the point is of some of those 'top ___ alternative songs of 199x' lists that have been popping up the last few years. i think i saw one last year that was literally almost all top 10s from that year's modern rock billboard charts, plus a few token tunes that they could retroactively call 'alternative' because i guess they were well-regarded in spin magazine or something (like "music sounds better with you")

I guess I need to listen to 'Summer Girls' again real quick because I always conflate it with 'Butterfly' for some unknown reason (prolly because they're both fucking dumb songs?) and I'm just now realizing for the eleventy-millionth time that it is not 'Butterfly'.

Ahhh, okay, right. LFO, the boy band whose members all look like they have a shaky notion of the terms of their restraining orders.

“Miami” is indeed pretty damn corny, but (it cannot be said enough) it’s failproof thanks to its And The Beat Goes On foundation.

xps

Aside from the tracks that never really hit the UK (Mobb Deep / Juvenile / NSYNC etc), all of these got blasted at me multiple times a day for the entire year.

I had just left 6th Form and was working at an Italian restaurant just outside Cardiff - I had my first full wage, no bills to pay and was spending 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, stuck in a hot kitchen with a rotating cast of Welsh/Italian maniacs. The owner insisted on Radio 1 / Capital etc being on while customers were in the restaurant after one too many 'blasting , and as a result I have very strong Stockholm syndrome for all these tracks.

Even at the time Mambo No.5 seemed like a new pinnacle of pop cheddar so that gets my vote, with Cher a very close 2nd. At the time, Cardiff was under the grip of HHowever I feel that the rich seam of gorgonzola that was 1999 pop-trance is missing from this list completely:

"Protect Your Mind (For The Love Of A Princess)"

xp Post fail! hit submit by mistake, should read as:

'...one too many 'blasting John Peel out of the kitchen door at unsuspecting customers' incident , and as a result..'

...

and 'At the time, Cardiff was under the grip of Hard House / Trance fever, however I feel that the rich seam of gorgonzola that was 1999 pop-trance is missing from this list completely:

DJ Sakin - Protect Your Mind (For The Love Of A Princess)
Phats & Small - Turn Around
ATB - 9 PM (Till I Come)
Planet Perfecto - Bullet In The Gun'

All of these hit the UK charts and were ripe cheese that would get my vote.

Impossible to pick - this my core, heart music.

― flappy bird, Tuesday, July 30, 2019 1:06 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

extremely otm. scanning this list is taking me back to the summer after 6th grade--childhood's end, really--only the good memories remain now. scar tissue alone, wow... say what? karaoke on mtv. that don't impress me much desert leopard print. billy shakespeare wrote a whole lotta sonnets. all that glitters is gold...

it's not right, but it's ok :(

9PM Til I Come is as close as I come to heart corn from this era

kinda reminds me of Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs

whoa now frogbs no need to bring sam into this

The fact that 9PM Til I Come isn't here invalidates the entire list. In general the UK and US felt miles apart musically around this time (maybe Europe and the US) but the lack of any chart trance or garage in here really shows quite how divergent the charts were.

As much as I love 9PM I can understand it not being on here, especially in its single mix.

Saltwater, on the other hand...

Will Smith - "Miami" will forever be tied in my mind to the statewide trauma of the 1998 NFC Championship thanks to this Vikings version of MIami done by KDWB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbMk1qffPNM

party in the Cities where the heat is on
Denny Green runnin' things in the Metrodome
and we're going to Miami

Bouncin' in the Cities with the purple and gold
Got your football senses on overload
and we're going to Miami

After checking what hard house / trance cheese hit the top 10 over here (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_UK_top-ten_singles_in_1999), and giving all the filter disco influenced stuff a pass of 'just about acceptable', if this poll was UK based it would need:

Porn Kings Vs. DJ Supreme - Up To the Wildstyle
Vengaboys - We Like to Party / Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom / We're Going to Ibiza / Kiss (When the Sun Don't Shine)
Yomanda - Synth & Strings
Alice DeeJay - Better Off Alone / Back in My Life
DJ Jean - The Launch
Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee)
Ann Lee - 2 Times
Wamdue Project - King of My Castle
Mario Piu - Communication (Somebody Answer the Phone)
William Orbit - Barber's Adagio for Strings

Quite impressed that Flat Beat made it to number 1 tbh

giving all the filter disco influenced stuff a pass of 'just about acceptable'

I give it all an A+

OMG 'Flat Beat', forgot all about that song. The video was like the funniest thing in the world to me for probably like a day and a half.

started to read the Ringer article but couldn't get through it cuz all the writers sound suspiciously like Bill Simmons (name a song off Christina's last 3 albums. You can't!!). but there is a good point in there about how 1999 was the last time we, as a nation, really felt optimism...before Florida & the Hanging Chads, before 9/11, before Iraq, and all *gestures vaguely* this

Yeah Y2K really should've fulfilled its apocalyptic promise.

In a sense, it kinda did?

Well, it sure is taking its damn time.

Quite impressed that Flat Beat made it to number 1 tbh

Being in a Levi's ad got Babylon Zoo and Stiltskin to #1 as well so it's not that much of a surprise. Flat Beat has aged way better than either of those as well.

first Mr Oizo LP is excellent too

i dont think will smith's 'miami' is that corny really. big willie style is the last time he could get away w/ non corny records (altho 'just the 2 of us' is pretty oversentimental)

It was an old millenium, no excuse me, willenium

the spanish lyrics on miami are corny as fuck

spanish lyrics in miami vs spanish lyrics in beck songs

soy un maíz-idor

I believe you mean 'so open the door'

Will Smith - "Miami" will forever be tied in my mind to the statewide trauma of the 1998 NFC Championship thanks to this Vikings version of MIami done by KDWB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbMk1qffPNM

party in the Cities where the heat is on
Denny Green runnin' things in the Metrodome
and we're going to Miami

Bouncin' in the Cities with the purple and gold
Got your football senses on overload
and we're going to Miami

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, August 1, 2019 5:54 AM (four hours ago)

laughing my ass off at this

it's amazing

I, too, laughed my ass of at that. Everything about it. I laugh at the Vikings and their fans pretty frequently tbh.

thats mean

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

another station-produced parody of "miami"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqiSxNyK0MM

Maybe 1999 isn't corny, but rather the list-making people are just bad at making lists.

"hooch" is summer 98, why is it discussed here

Okay the corniest selection here is def "24. Blackstreet - "Take Me There" ft. Mya, Ma$e & Blinky Blink"

Since it's blackstreet who would ever believe this is actually cornier than "All Star" but it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEpiB8AfSao

Also this is what the music in every Target commercial sounds like now

that song is cute & fun

Movie Soundtrack from Rugrats The Movie

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH right

thank god I was an adult in 1999

also that LFO song is the worst

hah I wonder if Mark Mothersbaugh got a big royalty check for that one

God Didn't Spend Nearly Enough Time on You

lol

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Len - Steal My Sunshine 2

you fools

two motherfuckers tried to steal my sunshine

for some reason I heard "Tender" in a bar at the weekend and there is not enough contempt for that godawful week-long dirge here. seriously personally offended that The Thong Song got more votes than it

also add me to the list of people who never, uh, got "You Get What You Give"

PS "Steal My Sunshine" is great of course

"hooch" is summer 98, why is it discussed here

― billstevejim, Monday, August 5, 2019 11:11 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

This is why it finally received its own (semi-)dedicated thread.

The crazy town is obv the best

oopa wrong thread ... although sort of the right thread

i wouldn't have put it past these listmakers to have deemed "butterfly" a 1999 song