Eurovision 2019

It's Bigger Than Us: slightly prefer Tandy's Kylie 'Golden' country pop over Rice's a generic anthemic Scandi synth thing that would have wowed Eurovision 2013.
Freaks: nice - very familiar - chord progression in the chorus but an unremarkable song, don't care either way.
Sweet Lies: the best song, I think. Leaning towards Kerrie Anne's Eurodisco comfort food over Anisa's ballad.

British public decides in a people's vote, what could possibly go wrong?

Mans Zelmerlow?

Listening link:

- http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23EurovisionYouDecide+2019

Such a sad quote from the entertainment commissioner. "Could finally get us on the left hand side of the leader board"? (Better than on the extreme right of the leaderboard..)

I think I agree "Sweet Lies" is the best one here – also the only song where the two versions are interpreted quite differently.

But it's hard to even imagine how a UK entry could do well anymore; nothing's been popular for 9 years. What would they have to change in the selection?

Fair play to Jordan Clarke for holding this face for 3 minutes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJjVSfSFk14

xp good songs? Good songwriters working on this? Seems relatively easy to me to get better positions than in the last 9 years, but the song selections have just been shit. It's not like there have been expectations "this is quite good, should rank high" - no, everyone's agreed the songs are bad and won't stand a chance. So no mystery here, really.

ouch

voted jordan clarke for the eurovision "look"

needs the classic "wink for europe" towards the end

xp good songs, well duh. How can they change their competition structure to get better songs? Given the BBC prob won't spend much money hiring the hottest producers or holding a UK Melodifestivalen. Should they approach a wider range of artists? Involve Radio 1/1xtra? Expand the judging panel? A longer public vote? Abduct George Ezra?

Songs matter less than getting someone to sing who is known in the rest of Europe.

Yeah I need to catch up on these but I've heard some snippets.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

good to see Darude stepping up for Finland

also happy about San Marino's continued commitment to recycling

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

OK, so it's not going to be bigger than us.

on now...
You Decide Which Of These Scarcely Famous Singers Gets To Come Near The Bottom Of The Voting This Year

OK, off to negotiate 350 points from China under WTO rules.

Songs matter less than getting someone to sing who is known in the rest of Europe.
― the battering ram's rolling (snoball), Saturday, January 26, 2019 9:30 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:-s Eurovision winners aren't usually well-known. (sometimes not even after they win!)

France's song for the final is "Roi" by Bilal Hassani:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCJRigN2DmI

It was the French public favourite by miles:

- https://eurovision.tv/story/bilal-hassani-to-represent-france-at-eurovision-2019

The French show also used a 10-nation jury (which preferred other songs), similar to in the Swedish final.

Other news: Jack White wins Eurovision

- https://eurovoix.com/2019/02/06/israel-white-stripes-lead-singer-now-receiving-royalties-from-nettas-toy/

Netta's new (non-Eurovision) single is incredible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV1sjm9Lz_Q

(not sure if that's Salvador Sobral from 2017 in the video)

Stuff is going on in Italy.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/11/italian-egyptian-mahmood-singers-victory-angers-matteo-salvini

Hmm, I wonder what these fascists' agenda is.

The Italian song choice - "Soldi" by Mahmood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22lISUXgSUw

This is shambolic:

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-47357471

Ukraine has officially dropped out of Eurovision as they can’t find anyone willing to take the place of the nominee who wouldn’t sign the nationalist pledge.

Idiots but good for her standing up to it

into Iceland's EBM tribute to Azerbaijan 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CU-xnPsSHE

also here for Portugal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSbp8lwCQp8

Yeah that's a standout.

Word on a US broadcast? (logo out maybe netflix?)

Being Portuguese and knowing Conan is so weird/funny to see his name here at ILM.

this is a nice song, but my favourite of his is this one

https://youtu.be/HYCWK4IVlpM

hi!

Sandstorm ftw

Also I was impressed by the Czech 1975-core

Also Poland kinda gav3 me Knife vibes

it's this guy again!

The Czech entry is a friend of mine so I suspended my boycott for three minutes. He did well!

he looked very happy

He always does. He is like a puppy in human form.

Australia a bit Kate Bush?

AUS staging was good. Iceland next!

Ok Iceland is memorable. So far only Czech and Australia have been in what’s been mostly a disappointing semi

Estonia so grim it could be Denmark

But the entertainment value!

it's that guy again!

Things have picked up quite a bit in the last few things even enjoyed portugal’s weirdness

Well done, Albert!

Oh my god, Iceland's reaction.

Romania’s the first interesting one tonight

SF2 pretty dull. Norway/Albania/Azerbaijan were fine I guess.

No-one watching? What's with all the melodramatic over-the-top ballads?

I’m watching! Russia may be the best this time.

I'm watching. Malta was pretty good, Albania was one of those operatic things that never works well, Czech Republic was catchy but o____O those lyrics, Germany meh, Russia trying too hard again, Denmark's Lily Allen, San Marino's singing dentist might score highly, North Macedonia a bit overwrought.

I saw the Czech Republic's entry, which looked like a parody of The 1975, and immediately felt that this decade should hurry up and fuck off.

The Singing Dentist gets my vote.

This Swedish song is pretty good once it gets going, then it sounds like an actual current pop song.

I'm hoping there's some over the top pyro and furious double hand tapping guitar solos at some point. Or even something like that Greek entry from the early '00s where they were dressed as robots and singing "GIVE THE PASSWORD!"

Wow, Slovenia is pretty cool, the best song so far.

Cool but if the next song is some bosh-bosh number it'll be overshadowed.

... guess what?

Complete with 'Making Your Mind Up' costume rip.

REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY

Probably the first time an Eurovision song has mentioned the 808?

Oh god, The Netherlands entry is everything I fucking hate in music, right down to its woooooooooh's.

This is supposed to be the favourite?!

Chris Martin's favourite.

Ugh, please tell me that won't win.

this lady from Greece sounds like she’s singing through a pillow

[turns on subtitles]
[turns off subtitles]#Eurovision pic.twitter.com/ihu0Ti8UGD

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 18, 2019

I like her voice and performance in the verses, but the chorus is too generic.

Is that Mayim Bialik onstage during the Greek entry!?

"Where you wanna fuck?"

With a voice like that, feels like she could've done something less bombastic to make it stand out more.

"I can hug the water when it snows"!?!

I just don't see the appeal of these overwrought show tunes.

"Brrruuuuuuuhuuuhuhuuhuyuhhuuuuuiiiiiiiseeeeee!" ... god, this is fucking horrible.

They never win.

Someone pass this dude a Kleenex!

Jesus christ, I was enjoying the Norwegian entry until the bald guy turned up!

Is the third singer with Norway singing in joik?

Hooo la hooo la hooo la </Vic & Bob>

Just in case you thought this Norway entry wasn't a Eurovision song, here's a bald guy for no reason!

Oh yeah, he is. I guess it's cool to see the Sami people represented, tho maybe not like this.

Norway obviously the best one by absolute miles so far

It's very fair to say that, visually, I enjoyed about a third of that performance.

"try it and choke-ah"?

I can't remember, has Norway or Sweden ever sent a Sami singer before to the contest? I know Finland hasn't.

It's the best mix so far between current hit single and Eurovision bonkers.

So who's UK's act this year?

The UK's entry sounds like something off the last Coldplay album and gave me a migraine within the first couple of bars. Totally unremarkable.

It's bigger than us, it's bigger than the universe, it's bigger than the two of us!

Feels like a generic reality TV winner Eurovision performer, he.

Better than most UK entries. The trousers were a mistake though.

It starts off OK but he overcooks the vocals towards the end. I would have preferred if Holly Tandy had won with her version (of the same song - yes this year's UK selection process was odd).

xp agreed it is better than recent UK entries, and it does fit in with the other Eurovision entries or at least not sound out of place.

HATRED WILL PREVAIL

YES! ICELAND DELIVERS!

oh yes

nice to see the jim rose circus getting some work

So, Atari Teenage Riot lives in Iceland now?

Iceland caught between Rammstein and Susanne Sundfor

A pity the Virgin Prunes never got to represent Ireland though.

This fucking rules. This should get all the points. It has everything!

Maybe I will vote for Iceland but assless pants would have made that a certainty

Digitally distorted screaming and fire, what more could you want? I feel sorry for anyone who has to follow that.

Still prefer Norway but that was impressive

...which, by the looks of it, is the Estonian Bon Jovi.

god this poor estonian bastard having to follow iceland

This is much better than the intro lead me to think. One of the best choruses so far.

Estonian cliche lyrics guitar strummer, kind of forgettable really.

Too smug to win.

This is Stay With Me by Sam Smith, which was already shit

xp also should have cut to the chase and not bothered with the guitar at the beginning.

young lady you are NOT leaving the house wearing that

nobody else got an alfie and bibi '19 vibe from slovenia?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlW-3o6MUsM

anyway my favorites so far are san marino, greece, and cyprus, and i look forward to hearing denmark's song in a psa

So this is like a budget version of the All Is Full of Love video?

robot arms comfortably in the top five most charismatic performers yet seen on stage tonight

this is a great scissor sisters b-side

Denmark's lyrics were corny as hell, but the song and performance were undeniably cute. Also, bonus points for the random switch from English to French for the second half of the song.

Chorus of Azerbaijan's song is a bit too Maroon 5.

thanks, i hate this

The French can't bring themselves to sing a song entirely in English, but they'd be better to just sing in French.

The thing that strikes me the most about the French entry is that the singer is really struggling to be on pitch.

strong look, bad song

It's usually the British entrants who can't sing.

damn french eating our lunch again, smdh

Italy's entry also completely unremarkable. No hook whatsoever, really generic melody, not even a strong performance gimmick.

First reference to Jackie Chan in Eurovision from the Italian entry?

At least it's in Italian.

Okay, Italy's song is surprisingly strong, and the lyrics are kinda too personal for something like this?

xpost:

Yes, there is that!

strong Shaggy vibes

The audience are only half-heartedly into this clapping gimmick.

Serbiohead

let’s not be so quick to traduce shaggy now ok

Well, there goes the wax out of my ears! Thanx! #SRB

These Eastern Europeans can always sing like fuck tbf.

strong Shaggy vibes

― Siegbran, Saturday, May 18, 2019 8:51 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha, that's what I thought when he first started singing!

lovely bit of air guitar from the serbian christina applegate there

I can't tell the difference between all these dark haired guys with beards and the exact same haircuts.

Wow, when did Kane Brown turn Swiss and enter Eurovision

This Swiss one just sounds like all modern shit-pop

It's that infernal beat

Is this song about blowjobs?

It does, but it terms of execution it isn't all that bad, actually. This'll probably be the one that ends up winning.

(xpost)

The sudden cut to moody synth pads is more annoying.

At least it wasn't a ballad

To be fair, Australia has always been my favourite part of Europe. Let's see how they do...

ah yes, here comes my favourite of all the European nations now

jinx

what the fuck is this shit

Oh fuck no. NO!

This is from Frozen 2, right?

Zeeee-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-hirrooo!

what if shakespeare’s sister but yodelling and it’s shit

Who wrote this, Tim Minchin?

It's the bastard love child of iamamiwhoami and Regina Spektor performing in Frozen 2... HOLY FUCK THAT NOTE. NO!

I suppose that Kate Bush is never going to enter Eurovision, so this will be as close as we get.

Wow, this is so over the top it's kinda awesome! Australia for the win!

they've overcompensated for not being European by going way too Eurotrash

Would have been OK ... but for the singing.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Xt8QFKwEY3Ez17jBuxKHrQ--~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NTAwO2g9MjA4/http://33.media.tumblr.com/f6715dbbda32c8f192818fefc2d6fa6c/tumblr_inline_o0jtvrGmGM1tcrqyq_500.gif

Kate Bush might never recover from that comparison tbh

The lyrics to this translate as "Fun House/whole lot of fun/prizes to be won"

Meanwhile here's the latest Almodovar movie

i'm legit stunned there isn't a kate miller-heidke thread on ilx already?? this is the closest

The over-produced female vocalist mor-pop to art-pop continuum of the 80s and sometimes early 90s, often but not necessarily from Canada

Spain usually do even worse than the UK.

powerful ‘kids’ club evening show on a mid-range camping holiday’ vibes

This is pretty good. The 'robot' that appeared halfway through for 30 seconds and was then manhandled off was a bit weird - prop malfunction?

San Marino's singer looks like Jeff Bezos.

Sings like him too.

So apparently Slovenian's female singer has the same stone face outside performance? :)

Hard to choose between them and Australia.

The French announcers just referred to the “ex-empire britannique”

San Marino and the bald Sami singer band are probably my favourites.

Not watching, just listening. I liked: Germany, Norway, Azerbaijan, Iceland, Italy and Australia. UK entry is terrible.

I'd like Iceland to win, but I feel this might be Slovenia or Switzerland.

The UK entry was bland. Australia's was just offensive.

Slovenia winning would be cool.

Think I dozed off briefly in the middle - and missed Slovenia

What's the fucking UK mobile phone number?

OK he said it

If a skinny haggard looking guy, dressed like a jakey, invades the stage during Madonna's performance that'll be the lead singer of Primal Scream.

Hahah!

quavo’s been at the dressing-up box

and the sizzurp by the sounds of it

an israeli mentalist who isn’t uri geller, gtfo

Let's hope this one stays in Israel.

"I see pussy pussy pussy all around meh"!?!

what the fuck is this

It's Nana Banana, she do what she wanna.

Madonna up now!

The reveal of her weird goth pirate costume would've been more dramatic if they hadn't interviewed her in it 10 minutes before.

The bum notes suggest that she is indeed singing live, perhaps we should get Elton John in here just to be sure, though!

Just aboht to say, her voice is all over the fucking shop

Madonna’s been taking voice lessons from ian brown, i see

Actually, she's off pitch more than most of the acts I've heard on this tonight. The fuck?

Not sure about this Streets of Philadelphia remix

presumably she usually has autotune these days?

Her voice isn't as good as some 16 year old from Minsk these days.

Wtf was that interlude about?!

As I said earlier, these 16 year olds from Minsk cannae hauf sing tho.

Ah, looks like someone's finally remembered to turn the autotune on!

Are gas masked dancers really in good taste here?!

I actually like this second song, too bad about her voice. Is this from the new album?

guilty lol xp

Reggae!

Very subtle but protest there...

‘wake up’ eh, is madonna into qanon now? o shit does q stand for qabalah?

maybe all the flat notes were some kind of coded message

This bit paid by the Tel Aviv tourist board.

Indeed.

cor this nascent ethnostate looks ace

Complete the sentence: three minutes in Tel Aviv is all it takes to...

this is the worst version of this song I've ever heard

time for some televised accounting, fuck yeah

Only 41 countries to vote.

xxp re Like a Prayer

12 points to The Netherlands already. Fuck off!

This is not going to wrap up in 25 minutes.

remind me are there two versions of the vote count for each country (jury and public)?

I'm really not getting what the hell everyone heard or saw in the Italian entry.

The Italian entry is always one of my most hated

it was an ok song but i'm wondering if the geopolitical aspect is in play here

Glad my boy is on the left hand of the board, for a bit at least,

Thank you Norway!

Alexander Reebeck - he's already cursed!

I know they've got 41 countries to get through but this only reading out the top score is crap.

Wow, this is very even, I can't remember the last time so many songs still had the chance to win at this point.

Israel - 0

rude imo

Hmm, looks like N. Macedonia's feminist anthem might win?

I thought Israel had a decent song

That Macedonian thing was dire.

C’mon Albert!

Classic jury song shite.

Belarusia feeling it for the losers.

are there not people with better things to be doing itt ;)

They keep saying Good Night instead of Good Evening, it's throwing me.

Cyprus in giving 12 to Greece shocker.

Cyprus voting for Greece got some boos from the audience... What were they expecting?

Some people have been drinking all day and everyone was like, but you’re missing eurovision! We’ve had an amazing day though

wheeee!! great way to celebrate imo

They've done it, like, every year for as long as I can remember... why break the habit of a lifetime?

(xx-post)

Most Cypriots I know make a big deal of being Cypriot, not Greek, but I'm sure lots of 'expats' swayed it

Eurovision, where everyone has an American accent.

Many UK Entries from 1968 to you gyac

ty kinder, think best part was seeing normally cool and calm other half getting a wobbly lip & welling up during ceremony!

I'm relying on the public vote to bin the overwrought shriekfests and go straight for the bangers, as per.

Why must they persist with this nonsense? Just give us the points and fuck off

Only the public vote can save us now

Slovenia doing far worse than I thought they would. I knew we would be shit, so that's not an issue.

isn't sweden supposed to be a pop savvy country? that netherlands song is such a drip

Most of the songs in the contest are usually written by Swedes.

There's the guitar solo I was waiting for!

Lol what a douchebag

I just realised that Euron Greyjoy was one of the presenters in 2014 when I was at the Copenhagen finale

Just give the damn points!

nah, MILK IT

show us your skills

35 seconds of fame.

@tom i know (although the netherlands one wasn't)

poor spain don't deserve to be last

Votes getting predictable now.

Really tight between Sweden and Macedonia!

I don't care who wins as long as it isn't NorMac.

I'd rather The Netherlands didn't take this.

This new routine where they reveal the jury and popular votes separately always confuses me... Why did they change it?

Netherlands was terrible

Hearing the results is the best bit, let's have as many as possible

I have no sense of scale for the popular vote numbers

Fairly sure 3 is really really shit though

Lol UK

UK getting 3 points in the public vote. Ouch!

lol uk

LOL UK last!

Lol

woah!

Ha, no way!!!

Let's see if the people have taste, re: Norway's excellent song

holy shit

The people have taste.

Not just last but embarrassingly last.

oh boy those guys are getting thrown in jail

Good lads.

Poor Malta too, that was decent

I was waiting for someone to wave the Palestine flag, I guess it had to be those guys.

Russia was fucking awful too.

O no!

Go Italy

go italy!!

Go Sweden.

i like sweden too

barf

ah ha

The public have excellent taste.

Come on Sweden!!!

come on sweden

gonna be a good turnup for the swedes

or a turnip

Just give us the bloody points already!

OH FUCK OFF

Woah

boooo
(That was my intended joke tho)

The public have terrible taste.

That sucks.

what??

93 points????

Norway win the popular vote. Scrap the juries

Racism, I presume.

Bullshit way of presenting the scores.

that was a very american idol-esque finish, complete with flickers of racism

I like seeing the disparity btw the jury and public vote

Norway got 12 from UK voters! tt voted Iceland but her top 3 were the UK top three as well

The Australian entry from a few years back had a great jury score but the public only gave him 2 points & I absolutely thought that was racism

It's 2019 and people still like crap post-Britpoppy piano ballads. Fuck, man.

Why is he called Duncan Lawrence?

I don't think a black singer has ever won, right?

I thought Sweden won with a ... non-white singer?

I don't actually know what ethnicity she was though tbh.

Sweden track needs a better chorus. Fun backing vox though.

Britain giving max to Norway pop is reassuring tho

Berber iirc xp

Radio 2 now playing “Euphoria”. Now that is a song.

Loreen is of North African descent, I think. That's the only time a non-white person has won, right? Or does Jamala count?

Was listening to Loreen in the car today

...next year in Amsterdam?

Anyway, the last time the Dutch won:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hjn_kTo2-yw

Belgium's going to boycott next year because the Dutch occupy part of the sea.

Dave Benton, winner in 2009, representing Estonia but from Aruba, not white.

(2001 not 2009, duh)

san marino woz robbed

I can't remember, has Norway or Sweden ever sent a Sami singer before to the contest? I know Finland hasn't.

― Tuomas, Saturday, May 18, 2019 10:21 PM (two days ago)

Late answer here, but OH YES INDEED, complete with references to then-recent Sami protests against hydroelectric development in northern Norway. This joik was sounding around the schoolyards for AGES it felt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSx4lUPX9KY

good final, only disliked about three entries

norway for me, just edging iceland

nxd otm

Norway were good, but lose points for me for the bald guy. Reminded me of that dude from Aqua.

Yes this was also noted during our viewing party, followed by interjections of “come on Barbie lets go party” throughout the performance.

The Israelies produced a great show this year.

Israelis

Israelites.

Madonna's been uploading videos of her performance up on Instagram, with vocals audibly fixed with autotune.

Eurovision 2019: UK's last-placed entry has score lowered

More heinous shit courtesy of Viktor Orbán:

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/nov/27/hungary-pulls-out-of-eurovision-amid-rise-in-anti-lgbt-rhetoric

The sooner somebody shoots that cunt the better