Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

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because, for me, embarrassment is a much more common reaction than anger

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:24 (seven years ago) link

e.g. when people respond to comedians' tweets or (especially) instagrams with "funny" comments

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:25 (seven years ago) link

any type of performance that requires being HAPPY! in a really showy way (which means i can't watch any singing/dancing-based reality show)

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:33 (seven years ago) link

eating in public

Shane Breen is a gigantic tool (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:35 (seven years ago) link

trying on clothes in department stores

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:44 (seven years ago) link

being introduced to new people

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:44 (seven years ago) link

"mingling" at parties

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:45 (seven years ago) link

every single episode of breaking bad

ledge, Monday, 26 November 2012 16:45 (seven years ago) link

taking cyrus in to school in the morning. and its not just me, half the people in there could teach a master class on avoiding eye contact.

scott seward, Monday, 26 November 2012 16:47 (seven years ago) link

god yeah, i frantically hunt the playground for the 2 or 3 people i can talk to

Shane Breen is a gigantic tool (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:48 (seven years ago) link

being around my dad when he talks to anybody in a shop, pub etc

Shane Breen is a gigantic tool (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:49 (seven years ago) link

i could list these things all day but i am too embarrassed

passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 26 November 2012 16:53 (seven years ago) link

i used to get embarrassed when my dad would ramble on and never listen to the person trying to talk to him but now i don't care. i'm just glad he's still alive so i just watch him and smile. its like watching a big demented baby talk to people. who is hard of hearing. and who listens to jazz all day long and reads the wall street journal. okay, that's a really weird baby...

scott seward, Monday, 26 November 2012 16:59 (seven years ago) link

guys trying to flirt on facebook, publicly

I have done bad. I love my pj's. (zachlyon), Monday, 26 November 2012 18:05 (seven years ago) link

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. A truly irrational pet peeve.

One Way Ticket on the 1277 Express (Bill Magill), Monday, 26 November 2012 18:31 (seven years ago) link

People trying to impress their favourite musicians on facebook by posting fawning comments. It's even worse in real life. Note : I have done both of these things myself.

it's all fuck what sit says, we'll do our own thing (Matt #2), Monday, 26 November 2012 18:34 (seven years ago) link

i told kim gordon that i really liked the harry crews album when i was drunk years ago. #bigfatliar

scott seward, Monday, 26 November 2012 18:41 (seven years ago) link

eating chobani yogurt fills me with disgust and self hatred, but i like this one flavor so much that i will suffer through the shame to eat it.

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:41 (seven years ago) link

why does it make you feel that way? also, which flavor?

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:44 (seven years ago) link

passion fruit

1) the name is so focus grouped that it makes me ashamed to say it, or even think about it
2) yogurt is for woman, and i am a woman
3) stirring up the fruit from the bottom is the worst sound on earth
4) i have long had an aversion to watching people eat yogurt, it's at least 20 years old
5) do i need another reason?

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:48 (seven years ago) link

all completely valid reasons! especially #1; that's one of those words i do anything to avoid saying, and if i absolutely must say it, i involuntarily shudder.
passion fruit is one of the best flavors, though. recently i've been buying cabot greek yogurt which is cheaper and way better, but doesn't come in the individual sized cups so i can't bring it to work.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:51 (seven years ago) link

i hate this brand of yogurt so much that i have thought about ways to create my own passion fruit yogurt by making the pulp myself and freezing it in little individual tubes so that it defrosts by lunchtime and i can enjoy my yogurt with peace of mind.

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:55 (seven years ago) link

empty shops/restaurants that are clearly struggling for business

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 15:55 (seven years ago) link

people baby-talking to their kids, especially if it's about their faeces.

people pronouncing things wrong. my favourite is when people ask for the beer "bombardier" (pronounced in the ww2 spiffing way) and say "bombard-e-ay" in the french way, just a perfect failure. (i definitely pronounce things wrong myself, obv, sometimes, and then get even more embarrassed)

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:47 (seven years ago) link

i heard a mom at the grocery store ask her toddler "do you wanna do oj or peach mango?"
kid in the cart: "let's do oj"

me: shame at having overheard that, it was just too personal and also since when did little kids say "let's do _____" when they want something?!?!

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:54 (seven years ago) link

live theatre :-/

Still S.M.D.H. ft. (will), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:54 (seven years ago) link

i think you mean bad live theatre

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:58 (seven years ago) link

there is *a lot* of bad live theatre though, so yeah

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:58 (seven years ago) link

Cartoon characters on generic products.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:59 (seven years ago) link

hockey players in advertisements

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:59 (seven years ago) link

overheard conversations

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:01 (seven years ago) link

generally

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:01 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOrvdvczpEA

mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:02 (seven years ago) link

improv

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:03 (seven years ago) link

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. microwaving.. A truly irrational pet peeve.

"ooh, that smells nice..."

DO YOU WANT SOME?????

Mark G, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (seven years ago) link

there is *a lot* of bad live theatre though, so yeah

painfully true. but i do tend to be irrationally embarrassed by people ~acting~ in a live setting, regardless of the quality of performance/ production. the closer they are to me physically, the more embarrassed i get.

Still S.M.D.H. ft. (will), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (seven years ago) link

improv comedy or improv anything?

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (seven years ago) link

comedy i guess? i'm not sure what other kinds of improv i'd run into

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:06 (seven years ago) link

omg hahaaaa, mooks knows what i'm talking about
that clip is practically canadian
xps

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:06 (seven years ago) link

http://youtu.be/vDggoBZ2A48

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:17 (seven years ago) link

though the wayne gretzky ones of the 80s/90s were prob worse and more ubiquitous...

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:18 (seven years ago) link

Everything I say and everything I do.

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:31 (seven years ago) link

irish politics

bill paxman (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:41 (seven years ago) link

Oh man. When I correct someone, or answer a question earnestly, and then immediately realise they were only joking. I guess it's rational to feel some embarrassment about that, but probably not rational to feel so much shame I just want to leave work straight away, get the train home, run upstairs to a cupboard, turn out the light and hide under every bit of linen I can find.

Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:58 (seven years ago) link

stop correcting ppl, it's ama awful habit, even when they're wrong. get home.

bill paxman (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:00 (seven years ago) link

*points out typo*

*kills self*

Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:12 (seven years ago) link

witnessing people bragging

homosexual II, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:42 (seven years ago) link

good one

mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:43 (seven years ago) link

I probably embarrass people when I temporarily bond with sales people (usually at the cosmetics counter).

homosexual II, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:45 (seven years ago) link

empty shops/restaurants that are clearly struggling for business

I end up never even going into these places since I know that if I go in and start browsing I will feel obligated to buy something because I feel bad about their business not doing well.

I don't really feel embarrassed or anything though, this is just expensive sympathy.

silverfish, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:48 (seven years ago) link

I feel embarrassed about being a semi-regular small spender in probably not failing local businesses - like the local corner shop you only ever buy emergency toilet roll or teabags in because you do your regular shopping elsewhere. This is related to the embarrassment about whether or not to cultivate a nodding acquaintance with the people you only ever see on the way to or from work. It feels a stupid basis for an acquaintance so I never do, but then when you walk past them every day for months and years... i walk past a guy setting up a jerk chicken stand in the park every morning and i want to break this awful cycle of studied aloofness but i don't know how, and if i do i'll probably feel no less stupid in nodding to him every morning.

ledge, Monday, 10 December 2012 10:59 (seven years ago) link

people pronouncing things wrong. my favourite is when people ask for the beer "bombardier" (pronounced in the ww2 spiffing way) and say "bombard-e-ay" in the french way, just a perfect failure. (i definitely pronounce things wrong myself, obv, sometimes, and then get even more embarrassed)

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:47 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd probably be guilty of saying Bomard-i-ay cos I'm an idiot. I also can't stop myself saying "Kraftverk" and "Volksvagen" (who else does this? NOBODY!) and yet shudder when people like Stephen Fry don't pronounce the final "T" in 'restaurant' or insist on saying "gar-arge" when referring to music.

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:07 (seven years ago) link

My wife reading ilx over my shoulder

Albert Crampus (NickB), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:11 (seven years ago) link

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

It's not just me btw, I've checked - it appears simply to not be how it is done.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 11:13 (seven years ago) link

I think I'd say Kraftverk, but also Volkswagen - not sure it comes up much tbh.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 11:15 (seven years ago) link

anyway, it's folksvagen

let's hear it for the women (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:18 (seven years ago) link

play it safe and say folkwaggon imo

Albert Crampus (NickB), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:21 (seven years ago) link

or 'b*ngbus'

Ward Fowler, Monday, 10 December 2012 11:23 (seven years ago) link

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. microwaving.. A truly irrational pet peeve.

"ooh, that smells nice..."

DO YOU WANT SOME?????

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"mmmmm, looks good, what did you go for?"
"it's a new thing, it's called a sandwich, now fuck off okay?"

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:26 (seven years ago) link

People sitting too close at 'communal eating' tables. However, if you are this person and you want me to budge over while I'm actually chewing, you can fuck off.

Commenting on the food of strangers: this is only OK in busy Chinese restaurants, where you see a group of diners with something good and you want to make damned sure you order that thing.

rihanna, will you ever win? (suzy), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:41 (seven years ago) link

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

this whole area is a nightmare. do i say hi to someone i work with each time they pass me in a corridor? do i say hi to people i work with occasionally or whom i know? offices are the worst.

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:43 (seven years ago) link

Thoughts when I don't nod to someone in the corridor: "c'mon i'm only passing them in the corridor, this isn't reunion with a long lost relative ffs". Thoughts when someone doesn't nod to me: "arrogant fucker".

ledge, Monday, 10 December 2012 11:47 (seven years ago) link

the haunted look which is exchanged goes to the heart of our problems as humans

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:55 (seven years ago) link

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 11:55 (seven years ago) link

oh god yeah "did they see me nod and mouth 'hello' back there? can't tell. maybe do it again. oh god now they think i'm mental."

let's hear it for the women (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:57 (seven years ago) link

doors are a nightmare too. three double doors in a row to get to the bathroom, having to say "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" when you don't even want to or "notatttall" PAUSE "nottattall" PAUSE "nottattall" like little steam engine.

then once every hundred times a "these doors huh?", "who are you telling?!"

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 December 2012 11:59 (seven years ago) link

still it's worth remembering that the only people who don't feel this way in these situations are the rude

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 December 2012 12:00 (seven years ago) link

At my work no fucker acknowledges a held-open door; have occasionally even been glowered at as recipient passes through. Details are obviously all stored for the day of the revolution.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:06 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg5MJyEHKGo

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 December 2012 12:18 (seven years ago) link

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

and do you look at them all the way, or do you deliberately look elsewhere even though there's nowhere else to look, or? tbh i just turn around and run away.

Shane Richie Junior (Merdeyeux), Monday, 10 December 2012 12:23 (seven years ago) link

I rarely get to do it, but running fast down a corridor is an excellent thing to do. I dunno why, maybe the air currents and echoes are all different, but it's so different to doing it in an open space.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:27 (seven years ago) link

Why not do it all the time, clutching a sheaf of papers to look busy and important, then it'll be ok to blank your cow orkers. Can't eyebrow flash! Late for meeting!

ledge, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:29 (seven years ago) link

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

this can be so unbearably tense. often a quick distant acknowledgement, followed by the realisation that some strange etiquette will dictate another, proximate acknowledgement, which often makes both parties feel forced and insincere. it's a tricky balance between maintaining just enough eye contact to be courteous, but not so much as to make the other person uncomfortable/skeeved out, all the while acting as if the awkward steps until follow-up acknowledgement are occupied by something other than the painful endurance of having to fulfil an obligation. It can give rise to such hollow feelings, especially when you're given a perfunctory acknowledgement for what you're trying hard not to project as a self-conscious, automatic gesture. It's as if you're being confronted with a kind of diluted unspontaneity, and you're in a Tati scene, and you feel as if you're stretching a moment out far longer than any human being should ever have to endure.

bed raggled (qiqing), Monday, 10 December 2012 12:31 (seven years ago) link

People only run in corridors when they think nobody's looking though; the rest of the time they do an embarrassing fast-walk thing, with occasional trot for a few steps until someone else homes into view.

A wild-haired professor at uni is the only person I can recall who would run around openly.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:35 (seven years ago) link

When I was younger, I used to get so embarassed for people on television shows who were about to get in trouble. I can't think of any concrete examples, but like, if the Fresh Prince was doing something he wasn't supposed to, like snooping in someone else's stuff or something, and we in the audience were clued in to the fact that he was about to get busted for it. I would get beet-red flushed to the point where I'd have to turn off the TV or leave the room.

how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 13:54 (seven years ago) link

tbh I still repeat to myself "it's only a show, it's only a show"

ledge, Monday, 10 December 2012 13:56 (seven years ago) link

90% of sketch comedy that involves singing, especially SNL monologues and the Whose Line is it Anyway songs

on a clear 乒乓 can see forever (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 10 December 2012 13:58 (seven years ago) link

I rarely get to do it, but running fast down a corridor is an excellent thing to do. I dunno why, maybe the air currents and echoes are all different, but it's so different to doing it in an open space.

― Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:27 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah totally - sometimes I feel like I could jump and just float down the corridor.

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 10 December 2012 14:01 (seven years ago) link

Josie Lawrence: "I know what you mean, about those songs, they seem very obvious and not very long..."

Mark G, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:01 (seven years ago) link

- when people point out a joke after someone else has told it.

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 10 December 2012 14:23 (seven years ago) link

I end up never even going into these places since I know that if I go in and start browsing I will feel obligated to buy something because I feel bad about their business not doing well.

I don't really feel embarrassed or anything though, this is just expensive sympathy.

― silverfish, Wednesday, December 5, 2012 1:48 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah I'm totally like this and what's worse is that gf is not at all and always just wants to look around places so we'll have mini-arguments where I'm like "no we can't go in that place! we aren't gonna buy anything, it's not polite, that person inside is gonna get their hopes up" and she's like "wtf nobody cares"

iatee, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:37 (seven years ago) link

Oh yeah, I totally get like that.

how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:41 (seven years ago) link

i occasionally get lunch at one of these

http://www.flamersgrill.com/images/fl_logo.gif

in the mall by where i work and one of the dudes there knows my order. the first time he greeted me by saying my order i just wanted to quantum leap the hell out of there

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:41 (seven years ago) link

also the dude at the ben and jerrys in the same foodcourt started chatting to me one time and told me about his improv group and now i can't go back if he is there

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:43 (seven years ago) link

And then like, I'll want to buy something, but something small, but it's gotta be more than like 10 bucks because I never carry cash and I want to do a transaction that will make the Visa service fees worth it for them, but then I totally don't want to spend 10 bucks, so I end up making an excuse to wait out in the street.

how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:44 (seven years ago) link

xp: LOL

how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:45 (seven years ago) link

seeing nuns or priests in public places

it's like they can spot my unclean aura or something

the oral history of (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, 10 December 2012 14:47 (seven years ago) link

When I was younger, I used to get so embarassed for people on television shows who were about to get in trouble.

still basically can't watch television because of this

c sharp major, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:50 (seven years ago) link

what i could never deal with was movies where the protagonist is blamed for/suspected of doing something wrong/evil/criminal/morally indefensible, but you, the viewer, are the only one who knows they are innocent/being framed/mistaken for someone else.

the oral history of (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, 10 December 2012 14:51 (seven years ago) link

yeah I can relate to that one too. curb your enthusiasm is 100% constructed to fuck w/ this response, also. xp

iatee, Monday, 10 December 2012 14:52 (seven years ago) link

what i hate though is when someone is being blamed for something they didn't do, and yet for some reason they don't do anything to explain their innocence.

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 10 December 2012 14:54 (seven years ago) link

xp My wife was the first person I met who had this reaction to television, specifically to George Costanza. I never understood it; "c'mon, it can't be that bad," etc. Then Curb Your Enthusiasm showed up and it suddenly made sense to me.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:22 (seven years ago) link

one of the cashiers at the local tesco has seemingly conflated me and another regular customer in her head, to the extent that i get anxious going there at the thought of having another awkward embarrassing conversation where i have to follow up on whatever she last discussed with him.

Shane Richie Junior (Merdeyeux), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:24 (seven years ago) link

corollary to that embarrassment - having people recognise me from tesco. three times now THREE TIMES i've met people at parties etc and they've said "hey do i see you around the lower clapton tesco?" and i just have to grimly accept that yes i'm the tesco guy.

Shane Richie Junior (Merdeyeux), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:24 (seven years ago) link

The waistcoat I'm wearing today is slightly too short and the very end of my tie pokes out the bottom. It's a pink tie, and it's making me a little embarrassed.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 15:25 (seven years ago) link

Tuck the tie back under itself imo. Did this for a wedding on sat, I'm rubbish at tie knots and the fat end always ends up being too long.

ledge, Monday, 10 December 2012 15:28 (seven years ago) link

Good idea. I had it tucked into my trousers, but it keeps springing loose and you can just imagine that at some point hilarious consequences will ensue.

Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 15:31 (seven years ago) link

At my work no fucker acknowledges a held-open door; have occasionally even been glowered at as recipient passes through.

I get the glower from female co-workers occasionally. Also on several occasions have held the door for couples at e.g. a restaurant, to have the woman thank me while the man follows behind her, glowering.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:31 (seven years ago) link

one of the cashiers at the local tesco has seemingly conflated me and another regular customer in her head

The lady who used to cut my hair years ago had me conflated with someone else, too, and on one occasion asked "You like your hair like Christian Slater's, right?"

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:33 (seven years ago) link

ha. did you truly appreciate the embarrassing nature of the situation and go along with it?

(i'm now feeling slight embarrassment seeing the pointless 'in her head' in that sentence.)

Shane Richie Junior (Merdeyeux), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:34 (seven years ago) link

I wish I did! I get too nervous in situations like that; I pretty much just stammered "No, that's not me" or something like that. Also, she was pretty bad at cutting hair so I'm not sure that I would have wanted her to make me look like Christian Slater.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Monday, 10 December 2012 16:12 (seven years ago) link

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City speaking Spanish

Josefa, Monday, 10 December 2012 17:07 (seven years ago) link

spiralli otm -- I kind of wanted to die when the Wendy's drive-thru cashier said 'Hi!' in a manner that signified that she now recognized me

shame spiral in 3 2 1

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 18:14 (seven years ago) link

Someone on my fb recently posted about running into an acquaintance over and over again on different aisles at the grocery store. Or there's also when you run into an acquaintance you don't really like talking to over and over at the same place and you have to do the whole "yep. we're both here again" thing.

emilys., Wednesday, 12 December 2012 02:30 (seven years ago) link

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City speaking Spanish

― Josefa, Monday, December 10, 2012 12:07 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OTM

drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 02:35 (seven years ago) link

Kraftwerk's Technopop

ledge, Thursday, 13 December 2012 15:41 (seven years ago) link

When I was a kid, the only reason I started referring to my step dad as ” dad” was because I couldn't bring myself to say his name (lex). For whatever reason, I just found the idea of saying it aloud utterly mortifying.

I spent about 2 years calling him ” you”, before I realized ” dad” was a little less awkward.

just1n3, Thursday, 13 December 2012 15:49 (seven years ago) link

Kraftwerk's Technopop

― ledge, Thursday, 13 December 2012 15:41 (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Why? It's like the others..

Mark G, Thursday, 13 December 2012 16:37 (seven years ago) link

except for lack of catchy tunes, high quotient of dated samples, Ralf singing about his sex life.

ledge, Thursday, 13 December 2012 16:51 (seven years ago) link

I dunno, the kids were going "boom -TCHACK!!" for weeks afterwards...

Mark G, Thursday, 13 December 2012 16:58 (seven years ago) link

It's an embarrassing album for sure but it's embarrassing in all the best ways

frogbs, Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:03 (seven years ago) link

When I was younger, I used to get so embarassed for people on television shows who were about to get in trouble. I can't think of any concrete examples, but like, if the Fresh Prince was doing something he wasn't supposed to, like snooping in someone else's stuff or something, and we in the audience were clued in to the fact that he was about to get busted for it. I would get beet-red flushed to the point where I'd have to turn off the TV or leave the room.

I know the feeling and to be honest this is why I really find it difficult to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm sometimes, it's one of those shows that makes me physically uncomfortable, I can't stop thinking "just drop it, Larry!" over and over again. Which sucks because I know how damn funny it is.

frogbs, Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:04 (seven years ago) link

Yeah I can't do it either. It's just not funny for me, I start blushing and having hot flushes of embarrassment, like my scalp prickles and it's physically uncomfortable! Oh cringing.

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:08 (seven years ago) link

on the other hand I'm not sure why Louie doesn't invoke the same feeling

frogbs, Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:11 (seven years ago) link

i was in C0st Plu$ last night, as always during the holidays there was a long line for the cashiers. An employee was standing at the head of the line with a plate of samples (white cheddar cheese puffs), telling people when the next cashier was available. But she was kinda in that panic mode where she's pretending to be super-friendly but her voice is kinda shrill and panicky like she's moments away from throwing the sample tray to the floor and storming out.

I'd never EVER seen them handing out samples so that was kinda weird and secondhand embarrassing to begin with, because I think most of the other people in line were all, 'why are you here'. Like we can all see the next available cashier, it's fine.

But on top of smiling in a rictus of panick and saying 'go ahead, the cashier's open now!' she insisted on greeting everyone who walked in the door as well. Which again, never happens in this store. it's just a walk in and shop place, employees say hello if they see you but they don't usually greet you when you walk in. The door was a good 20 feet away from where she was standing at the cashier line. So she'd randomly, panic-ily shout a 'HELLO HOW ARE YOU!!!' - and they'd kinda look around like startled deer becuase they couldn't even *see* her from where they were standing. God it was awkward to watch.

I wanted to simultaneously hug her and die of embarrassment for her.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:24 (seven years ago) link

that's not irrational embarrassment -- that's old fashioned empathy!

passion it person (La Lechera), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:27 (seven years ago) link

Greeting people is a commonly used loss prevention technique. They probably had been getting knocked over and LP told them that they had to greet "every single person who comes in the door" or face getting written up or something. In my experience, the greeter comes off as totally awkward and robotic and real shoplifters don't give a shit.

how's life, Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:32 (seven years ago) link

well it didn't really make me IA so I figured this was as good a place as any :)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:32 (seven years ago) link

xpost but I got the feeling she had just came up with the greeting people thing on the fly to fill in the awkwardness of her role to begin with. OR the store just went completely bonkers over Christmas and gave her this stupid new policy to follow which is just as embarrassing for her

it's like the time our vp of sales came back from Seattle after visiting Pike's Market and decided that every time someone took a phone order they should yell 'order up'. I died of embarrassment for everyone who yelled it. It lasted maybe a week before everyone just quietly stopped doing it.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:34 (seven years ago) link

i'm not trying to censor you -- just noticing. pretty much nothing makes me IA, but i would only use this thread for things i am embarrassed about for a completely irrational reason
otherwise i would just post post post post post about moments of empathy all day
and that would be tedious for everyone

passion it person (La Lechera), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:35 (seven years ago) link

Greeting people is a commonly used loss prevention technique. They probably had been getting knocked over and LP told them that they had to greet "every single person who comes in the door" or face getting written up or something. In my experience, the greeter comes off as totally awkward and robotic and real shoplifters don't give a shit.

Yeah this is the worst. The obv. "we don't trust our customers" meshed with fake friendliness makes me IA.

dell (del), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:44 (seven years ago) link

Also being asked "Can I help you find something today?" 5x or more within a couple of minutes of hsving set foot in the place

dell (del), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:46 (seven years ago) link

i've been that guy so i feel a mix of empathy and hatred at the business for bringing ppl so low

clouds, Thursday, 13 December 2012 18:10 (seven years ago) link

Exactly. It distorts the humanity of both the employees and the people shopping there

dell (del), Thursday, 13 December 2012 19:00 (seven years ago) link

one thing that sticks in my memory w/r/t this dates from when i briefly worked at this particular central fl bl0ckbust3r that was managed by a dude who was the type of gay that occurs in repressive environments like the south but are also so incredibly stupid and inertia-prone that they remain closeted their entire lives. this dude would be in the back of the store and would bellow "he-LLO!!!" in the most stereotypical richard simmons voice you can imagine. when this happened i would usually be at the front of the store and had already said hello to the person entering like a regular human being out of earshot.

clouds, Thursday, 13 December 2012 19:11 (seven years ago) link

not innocuous at all rly, fuck companies that have "greeters," fuck customer service forever

clouds, Thursday, 13 December 2012 19:14 (seven years ago) link

i was gonna say, that anger is totally righteous and justified

passion it person (La Lechera), Thursday, 13 December 2012 19:17 (seven years ago) link

been there too btw

passion it person (La Lechera), Thursday, 13 December 2012 19:17 (seven years ago) link

Is anybody else slightly uncomfortable putting down a tip, embarassed if the recipient sees you doing it, and downright mortified if they call out thanks?

Guy on the internet (B'wana Beast), Thursday, 13 December 2012 20:32 (seven years ago) link

yeah i feel that, but you should do it visibly anyway. once a bartender/barista at a bar/cafe in nyc got mad at me because i discreetly put his tip in the jar when he wasn't looking instead of in front of him after he gave me my change and he thought i had snubbed him. well, not "mad", he sort of made this facial expression that i took to mean "un. be. liev. a. ble." then i actually explained to him that i had put two dollars in the jar and that made me feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

return to the 36 yellowistic chambers (Pat Finn), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:30 (seven years ago) link

Is this a UK thing? You tip openly here, it's better if they do see you, avoids any unpleasantness.

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:35 (seven years ago) link

well, in my situation i paid at the register because i just got coffee but the server was also serving alcohol and so i guess in his mind he was a bartender who expects everyone, without fail to tip him. i tip baristas anyway, every time -- i used to be one -- but i usually don't make a big show of slipping some money into the jar.

return to the 36 yellowistic chambers (Pat Finn), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:43 (seven years ago) link

well, i got coffee and some sort of snack. (full disclosure).

return to the 36 yellowistic chambers (Pat Finn), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:44 (seven years ago) link

also maybe sometimes at starbucks i don't tip baristas when i use my debit card and don't have cash. (fuller disclosure).

return to the 36 yellowistic chambers (Pat Finn), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:45 (seven years ago) link

tell us more about your tipping habits

passion it person (La Lechera), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:58 (seven years ago) link

When I was a kid, the only reason I started referring to my step dad as ” dad” was because I couldn't bring myself to say his name (lex). For whatever reason, I just found the idea of saying it aloud utterly mortifying.

I spent about 2 years calling him ” you”, before I realized ” dad” was a little less awkward.

― just1n3, Thursday, 13 December 2012 07:49 (7 hours ago) Bookmark

I am imagining a hilarious sitcom where the lex is your stepdad and has to cook you dinners and help you with your homework on the computer

kinder, Thursday, 13 December 2012 23:25 (seven years ago) link

Also: we had to do this thing called a ”mihi” at school (it's a Maori thing, you introduce yourself and list your parents, place of birth, etc.), and I would use some totally ordinary name like ” john” instead of ”lex”, that's how embarrassing I found it.

just1n3, Thursday, 13 December 2012 23:38 (seven years ago) link

yeah i feel that, but you should do it visibly anyway. once a bartender/barista at a bar/cafe in nyc got mad at me because i discreetly put his tip in the jar when he wasn't looking instead of in front of him after he gave me my change and he thought i had snubbed him. well, not "mad", he sort of made this facial expression that i took to mean "un. be. liev. a. ble." then i actually explained to him that i had put two dollars in the jar and that made me feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

― return to the 36 yellowistic chambers (Pat Finn), Thursday, 13 December 2012 22:30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svWjtDhGQFg

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 13 December 2012 23:39 (seven years ago) link

i used to get embarrassed when my dad would ramble on and never listen to the person trying to talk to him but now i don't care. i'm just glad he's still alive so i just watch him and smile. its like watching a big demented baby talk to people. who is hard of hearing. and who listens to jazz all day long and reads the wall street journal. okay, that's a really weird baby...

yesss

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 14 December 2012 00:14 (seven years ago) link

it is very embarrassing to have to wear something for work that isn't obviously job-related. casual acquaintances come in and say "oh hey, what's up?" and you either say instantly "i'm just wearing this visor for work because i have to it's not mine" or imagine them walking out thinking "so she's the visor type. huh."

ehkarl, Friday, 14 December 2012 00:31 (seven years ago) link

are you a bookie?

epistantophus, Friday, 14 December 2012 02:42 (seven years ago) link

bank teller

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 03:26 (seven years ago) link

pro golfer maybe?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 03:27 (seven years ago) link

Bartleby the scrivener?

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Friday, 14 December 2012 11:48 (seven years ago) link

Welder?

Ismael Klata, Friday, 14 December 2012 11:50 (seven years ago) link

Lieutenant Commander of the USS Enterprise?

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Friday, 14 December 2012 12:06 (seven years ago) link

beer pong champion

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 16:50 (seven years ago) link

is why I really find it difficult to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm s

.. yeah, I have seen about two episodes, and enjoyed neither. Also, I didn't think it funny enough.

Mark G, Friday, 14 December 2012 16:52 (seven years ago) link

all very close; that was when i was a high school aged person working in a bubble tea store. my boss would make me walk up to tables of college students and say "uh, excuse me. hi. sorry. uh, the five chinese vowel sounds are: ah. AH! ah. aaahhh. ah" while he nodded encouragingly from behind the counter. that was not irrational embarrassment though

ehkarl, Friday, 14 December 2012 17:10 (seven years ago) link

Wtf ehkarl? What's that supposed to achieve?!

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Friday, 14 December 2012 18:09 (seven years ago) link

Referring to soda/soft drinks/whatever-you-call-it as "pop". I grew up calling it that & still live in a region where it's the unquestioned terminology, so I can't explain why it makes me cringe now. I'll try to use a specific brand name if I need to refer to the stuff for whatever reason.

Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, 14 December 2012 18:17 (seven years ago) link

Yes, "pop" for me too. Also "dungarees." I think it's because they sound like words a child would say, which also applies to "yummy," I hate when adults say that.

nickn, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:54 (seven years ago) link

Yes! Those not-quite-proper-words-not-quite-slang are such a dangerous area, especially at school. How you refer to your grandparents is another minefield.

Ismael Klata, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:57 (seven years ago) link

wrt to tv shows, i've found that i cannot watch reruns of kenan and kel now that they're showing them, and i loved it when i was a kid. every episode is just "bad things happen" and it makes me anxious now.

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:26 (seven years ago) link

even though i KNOW everything will be fine in the end, it's just some visceral reaction to watching disasters unfold

aw here it goes

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:27 (seven years ago) link

When a stranger at the check-out counter asks me If I have big plans for the weekend. Because I'm afraid they'll find what I'm actually doing very lame.

NINO CARTER, Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:34 (seven years ago) link

When I was a kid, the only reason I started referring to my step dad as "dad" was because I couldn't bring myself to say his name (lex). For whatever reason, I just found the idea of saying it aloud utterly mortifying.

I spent about 2 years calling him "you", before I realized "dad" was a little less awkward.

― just1n3, Thursday, December 13, 2012

my stepfather married my mom when i was three years and one week old, but i've always called him tony. to other people i refer to him as my dad (as opposed to 'my real father'/'biodaddy')

mookieproof, Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:37 (seven years ago) link

Referring to soda/soft drinks/whatever-you-call-it as "pop".

I grew up in the midwest, and even though I'm on the east coast now, fuck it, I'm still calling it pop.

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:43 (seven years ago) link

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

mookieproof, Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:45 (seven years ago) link

Speaking of tipping: I haven't been in one in years but it used to be that if you tipped at USA "mix-in" centered ice cream chain Cold Stone Creamery, all the employees would stop their work and sing a song. Awful. Also bars that ring a bell when they like your tip. Stop!

I have the same response to tense/embarrassing TV and can't stand Curb Your Enthusiasm. Sometimes if its really bad I'll leave the room until the moment has passed.

The lady selling Streetwise in front of the drugstore by my work makes me feel embarrassed bc she is super loud and always says the same thing in the same tone "Streeeeeeeeetwise! Good morning Street-wi-ise! How y'all doing today? Streetwise!"

carl agatha, Saturday, 15 December 2012 01:59 (seven years ago) link

This episode of TNG where Q gives Riker Q powers and Riker grants everyone their dreams is killing meeeeeeeee

carl agatha, Saturday, 15 December 2012 02:53 (seven years ago) link

it's been 15 years but i still remember the homeless glaswegian dudes pushing the big issue

of course it took me several days to understand what they were saying

xp loooool

mookieproof, Saturday, 15 December 2012 02:57 (seven years ago) link

i used to go to the supermarket across the street from my (then) apartment. one particular cashier was always super friendly and chatty, which was nice. one day, however, when i hadn't been to the store in a while, she ran up and hugged me and told me how nice it was to see me and asked where had i been. after that, i was too embarrassed to shop there.

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Saturday, 15 December 2012 03:14 (seven years ago) link

Referring to soda/soft drinks/whatever-you-call-it as "pop".

I grew up in the midwest, and even though I'm on the east coast now, fuck it, I'm still calling it pop.

I thought this was a New England thing (maybe also midwest).

nickn, Saturday, 15 December 2012 04:38 (seven years ago) link

pittsburgh, midwest, canada all otm

mookieproof, Saturday, 15 December 2012 04:42 (seven years ago) link

xp to contenderizer, today i went to subway in a kind of sullen mood and the cashier/sandwich artist was extremely friendly and talkative. i was so confused, nervous, and embarrassed that i only ordered one sandwich when i had planned to order two (i wanted to get out of that environment). i had a hard time explaining to my mom why i bought her a sandwich and didn't get one for myself. she didn't understand.

in the whale there is a man without his raincoat (Pat Finn), Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:12 (seven years ago) link

i think most days this wouldn't have happened. i was caught off guard.

in the whale there is a man without his raincoat (Pat Finn), Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:14 (seven years ago) link

I always feel about 2 years old when customer service people start being too friendly with me. All my answers become v quiet, shy, one word answers

*yes*
...
*i don't know*
...
*maybe*
...
*um. because?*
...

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:18 (seven years ago) link

The Prince and the Pauper

wongo hulkington's jade palace late night buffet (silby), Saturday, 15 December 2012 07:21 (seven years ago) link

- my dad owned a restaurant from 1989-1992. He mentions this to every server we meet at lunch.

- when I had the cancer, anything cold was painful for me. At one restaurant that I would go to, I would always order water without any ice, preferably warm. To this day, the waitress still gives me warm water with every meal and I don't want to correct her because that would involve getting into a story about my colon with her.

- anytime someone mentions an Internet joke that I've already known about for a week.

- I don't live in the densest of population areas, so when ever I pass somebody on the sidewalk, and I don't make eye contact with them, I think "do people in New York City have this problem?"

- when people point out a joke after someone else has told it.

Haha, yeah, because its not funny anymore when you have to explain it, amirite?

pplains, Saturday, 15 December 2012 07:44 (seven years ago) link

- anytime someone mentions an Internet joke that I've already known about for a week.
eating lunch with some coworkers, one person mentioned this hilarious thing they'd seen recently called honeybadger & no-one else had heard of it so he told them all about it and they looked it up on youtube and watched it for the first time
kill me now

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 15 December 2012 08:04 (seven years ago) link

any time someone brings up a fact they learned from a recent cracked article/etc everyone's already read

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 December 2012 09:05 (seven years ago) link

How you refer to your grandparents is another minefield.

Yes. When my oldest nephew was a baby, and learning to talk, he couldn't say "grandma" or any of the more common variants properly, so what he said came out basically as "mimi." It stuck, and so he kept using it, and then when my other nephew and niece were born, that's they word they were taught. Those kids are 23, 17 and 15 now and it makes me cringe to hear people that age referring to my mother as "mimi."

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Saturday, 15 December 2012 12:42 (seven years ago) link

I thought this was a New England thing (maybe also midwest).

― nickn, Friday, December 14, 2012 11:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah, if you say "pop" in New England, they don't know what the fuck you're talking about, and/or will taunt you mercilessly.

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Saturday, 15 December 2012 13:24 (seven years ago) link

I always feel about 2 years old when customer service people start being too friendly with me. All my answers become v quiet, shy, one word answers

As someone who does customer service, I always feel 2 years old when I have to make fake-ass friendly small talk with customer (we're strongly encouraged to do so). "So, the weather. You...um...r-rain?"

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Saturday, 15 December 2012 13:28 (seven years ago) link

Typos. Whether online or in academic work or correspondence.

It's a combination of being able to type 90 wpm and years of ridicule by intimidating English teachers. Also my mom was an English major (drop out) and I have never been able to write perfect sentences like her!! I can barely read her grammar school English book. It has sentence diagramming in it!

-bloggers who respond to all the comments people leave them, especially if they're very polite and dutiful and non-controversial. it'll go something like...

blog entry: Here's a review of a book I read. I loved it!

commenter 1: I loved it too!

blogger: I know, huh? Thanks for reading my blog!

commenter 2: I hated it!

blogger: I actually hated it the first time I read it, but I went back to it recently and found that I loved it! Of course you're entitled to your own opinion :) Thanks for reading my blog!

commenter 3: I loved it too!

commenter 4: I loved it too!

blogger: I'm glad you feel that way, commenters 3 and 4! I'm so blown away by all these positive responses! Thanks for reading my blog!

What embarrasses me is the sense that they're grateful for getting any response at all — they feel so blessed and so *famous* for getting 200 hits and 5 comments that they have to express their gratitude publicly.

I'm also embarrassed by youtube users who respond gratefully to comments left on their own videos. It's even worse if the video isn't even their own creation (especially if it's a shaky home recording of a Family Guy clip) and the uploader still feels the need to go, "aw shucks, I never dreamed this would reach 80,000 views. Thanks for your support, guys!" Poor kid just figured out how to point a camera at a TV screen and upload the resulting clip to youtube, and suddenly they have aspirations of going viral, not realizing that thousands of youtube videos have 80,000 views and dozens of other people have uploaded that exact same Family Guy clip. I hate to find out that there's a real, earnest human presence behind what I thought was just a cynical grab for pageviews.

the horse world of the bludgrass (unregistered), Saturday, 15 December 2012 15:55 (seven years ago) link

I mean like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZJC6x7iebU

Uploaded on Dec 24, 2009

Hi everyone :D I made this video 3 years ago not really expecting what to happen i would of never thought of having 340,000 views i have met alot of amazing people here on youtube and i would really like to thank everyone who has liked the video and supported me thanks i hope i made you laugh !

the horse world of the bludgrass (unregistered), Saturday, 15 December 2012 15:58 (seven years ago) link

er, and for similar reasons I get kinda embarrassed for tteggaR deN when I see him responding to every single mention of his name on a certain message board :-/

the horse world of the bludgrass (unregistered), Saturday, 15 December 2012 16:02 (seven years ago) link

https://twitter.com/TTEGGAR

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Saturday, 15 December 2012 16:05 (seven years ago) link

I feel the opposite
I love that shit, it feels like a Farmer's Market.

you, your max is on fire (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 15 December 2012 16:05 (seven years ago) link

"ooooh you grew that kale yourself? and you're making $2 a bunch? so like you have to sell how much to make a profit on your drive down here? oooooh and you made your own yogurt? and jarred it yourself? do you have any idea how easily available domestically produced yogurt is?" etc.

you, your max is on fire (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 15 December 2012 16:07 (seven years ago) link

Ah customer service...I'm always flustered but a bit flattered when they ask me if the food I'm buying is "good". But it catches me off guard.

tense/embarassing tv is big for me. the office, curb your enthusiasm, and most reality shows are completely unwatchable. i've had to bury my head in chair cushions when people have started watching "my super sweet 16".

at work we had a going-away party for some executive who was returning to france with his wife and kids. the ceo got up and starting telling french jokes and giving them ~american~ gifts like cowboy hats and plastic toy rifles for the kids. the executive and the ceo probably worked together every day and i've never talked to either of them, but that didn't stop me from curling up in the fetal position for 5 minutes while this was happening.

circles, Saturday, 15 December 2012 17:49 (seven years ago) link

Oh lord, my work had a presentation for the longest-serving secretary when she retired, the centrepiece of which was the CEO pulling her most carefully-kept files out of the drops behind her desk and ripping them up - "You won't be needing these!" - to her visible discomfort. I imagine he was the only person present who didn't want to die at that moment.

Ismael Klata, Saturday, 15 December 2012 18:16 (seven years ago) link

i'm currently watching "The 25 Most Heartwarming Holiday TV Moments" on the TV Guide network which apparently still exists, and the whole thing is one big cringefest. the talking head to actual footage ratio is about 95:5 and apparently everyone was just told to describe every single thing that happens in each show. and every time someone pauses, they do this fake fast zoom-in for the beat, except they're all being interviewed in front of a green screen so it's just their entire bodies getting thrown at you and tilting to one side for some reason. and they're currently jubilating bob geldof. the whole thing is like some fluffy so-inoffensive-it's-offensive SEO-driven listicle except you have to sit through real people alternating each sentence.

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 December 2012 19:19 (seven years ago) link

I'm the same way about sitcoms. Classic post around here somewhere about squirming while watching Frasier deal with two dates at a dinner party.

I can't watch those confrontational IRL videos, even a really good reporter confronting a horrible white-collar criminal on camera. Basically any time there's a security guy covering a lens and a cameraman yelling, hands off the equipment!, I turn away.

Really hate it when people "on my side" do stupid shit i.e. Michael Moore or somebody pretending to lie down dead in front of a Walmart to protest poor health benefits.

pplains, Saturday, 15 December 2012 19:51 (seven years ago) link

I LOVE CONFRONTATIONAL VIDEOS, especially the ones where the pedos go to the house and ooops...it's a seventeen year old male or something. Comedy gold!!!

I miss Candid Camera.

The pedo ones are much more laid-back though. "Have a seat here. Let's talk. Want some cookies?"

pplains, Saturday, 15 December 2012 19:56 (seven years ago) link

lol i did "die-ins" in college, they're embarrassing and awkward for everyone

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:12 (seven years ago) link

I get embarrassed when I hear someone sing the phrases "ring-ting-tingling" or "pah-rum-pum-pum-pum"

joygoat, Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:15 (seven years ago) link

ting ting tingling tooooooooooo
outside i look normal but inside i'm dying for yooooooooou

(who will feel irrationally embarrassed on my behalf for that terrible joke?! anyone? because i feel nothing.)

passion it person (La Lechera), Saturday, 15 December 2012 20:56 (seven years ago) link

Not me. I liked it.

I could make a long list of things I remember saying in the past that are innocuous by virtue of me saying them so long ago and everything turning out all right but so so embarrassing that I can't even think of them much less publicly expose them.

carl agatha, Saturday, 15 December 2012 21:04 (seven years ago) link

"This episode of TNG where Q gives Riker Q powers and Riker grants everyone their dreams is killing meeeeeeeee"
it is totally totally rational to be embarrassed by season 1 of TNG. I think the collective shame was responsible for the uptick in quality in later seasons.

Philip Nunez, Saturday, 15 December 2012 21:06 (seven years ago) link

We got the season one Blu-Rays for Christmas from my parents so we are re watching them all. The only way I could get through Code of Honor was to point out how racist it was, which means I never stopped talking through the whole episode.

carl agatha, Saturday, 15 December 2012 21:08 (seven years ago) link

A few months ago my cashier at CVS told me it was her "privilege" to ring me up.

emilys., Sunday, 16 December 2012 07:24 (seven years ago) link

the middle aged woman at the lights today who was listening to gangnam style so loud that her car was shaking

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Sunday, 16 December 2012 16:24 (seven years ago) link

when large crowds of ppl start clapping along in time with music

jabba hands, Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:40 (seven years ago) link

yes, oh my god, I wish they wouldn't, seriously

wongo hulkington's jade palace late night buffet (silby), Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:40 (seven years ago) link

large crowds of ppl doing anything in unison

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:41 (seven years ago) link

except for when crowds are just being crowds like at a concert or football match or whatever

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:42 (seven years ago) link

towards the nocuous end of the rational embarrassment spectrum

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/christmas/9748511/SantaCon-2012-thousands-invade-London-hot-spots-to-mark-Christmas.html

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:43 (seven years ago) link

Requiring a poo just after bathing
Grr

These are my every day balloons (Ste), Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:48 (seven years ago) link

Wrong thread

These are my every day balloons (Ste), Sunday, 16 December 2012 21:52 (seven years ago) link

Requiring a bath just after pooing

Black Rod, Jane, and Freddy (snoball), Sunday, 16 December 2012 22:01 (seven years ago) link

requiring a poo bath

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 16 December 2012 23:07 (seven years ago) link

when people in the movie theater applaud at the end of the movie.

eh mec, elle est ou ma caisse? (ytth), Monday, 17 December 2012 02:32 (seven years ago) link

also, this train conductor on BART who, at every station, says, "this is a richmond train, richmond, richmond train, richmond train, richmond, richmond train, this is a richmond train, richmond, richmond train." or, more accurately, "this is a richmond train? richmond? richmond train. richmond train. richmond? richmond train. this is a richmond train? richmond? richmond train."

eh mec, elle est ou ma caisse? (ytth), Monday, 17 December 2012 02:34 (seven years ago) link

lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 17 December 2012 02:54 (seven years ago) link

Those kids are 23, 17 and 15 now and it makes me cringe to hear people that age referring to my mother as "mimi."

Haha when I was a kid we had the same thing with the next door neighbours. For reasons I dont recall anymore, when we were too little to wrap our head round peoples full names (I guess), I'd referred to Mrs X as Morning because she's always chip "morning!' over the fence to my mum. I'd apparently also named Mr X as Trousers, and I dont know why.

Both names stuck fast and right up til our teens me and my brothers referred to Morning and Trousers next door and thought nothing of it. Until I'd have to explain it to a random visitng friend who'd hear us refer to them that way and smirk bemusedly and say "WHAT did you just call them?"

I feel weird now relaying this story because it occurs to me it was completely utterly normal to me at the time, and only now I realise how not normal it was.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 17 December 2012 03:39 (seven years ago) link

This thread is making me realize how often I must do innocuous things that (for some reason unknown to me) make other people feel irrationally embarrassed. Every time I walk out the door I'm probably making someone quietly weep with shame on my behalf.

passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 17 December 2012 04:15 (seven years ago) link

posting that ^^^ was probably humiliating, for instance

passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 17 December 2012 04:15 (seven years ago) link

didn't even have to leave home!

passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 17 December 2012 04:15 (seven years ago) link

their prob imo

i hope they enjoy those salty droplets of barely concealed disgust

passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 17 December 2012 04:20 (seven years ago) link

anyone calling their SO "babe" or "baby" ever

THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 05:34 (seven years ago) link

dudes standing behind their girlfriends and rubbing them during rock concerts.

wongo hulkington's jade palace late night buffet (silby), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 07:12 (seven years ago) link

Patting their heads and rubbing their stomachs?

ledge, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 09:25 (seven years ago) link

I would have put that on the angry thread tbh /bitteroldman

ledge, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 09:26 (seven years ago) link

i'll rub my babe anywhere i like, deal

first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 09:51 (seven years ago) link

"ironic" "racism" : yes I understand you are probably mocking attitudes you do not hold yourself whilst also enjoying the trangressive naughtiness but STOP NOW.

thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 12:13 (seven years ago) link

hold on, yeah I know that's neither innocuous or irrational.

thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 12:14 (seven years ago) link

otm about comedy improv, i tried to watch video of asssscat, the upright citizen's brigade thing and made it like 8 minutes, I was shrouding my face with my fingers like it was castration footage eventually.

looking at posed photos of people smiling in social situations

being in a store less than 30 minutes before it closes, especially any kind of food service

cashiers remembering me for any reason

seeing people explicitly trying to "network" in social situations

being reminded that i actually exist to other people as a living being and that my words and actions are being interpreted

robert de niro doing comedy acting

applying for food stamps

slam dunk, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 12:36 (seven years ago) link

being reminded that i actually exist to other people as a living being and that my words and actions are being interpreted

yeah this, also that people can see my facial expressions

kinder, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 13:44 (seven years ago) link

anyone calling their SO "babe" or "baby" ever

― THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (zachlyon), Tuesday, December 18, 2012 12:34 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is hilarious when it's Jeff and Hayley on "American Dad," though.

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 13:49 (seven years ago) link

eating in a restaurant that has great food, but is nearly empty and the owners/wait staff are way too friendly. seems to coincide with restaurants that are already a little awkward -- 20 page menu, weird specials, hovering waiter who brings out a free appetizer you didn't ask for.

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:06 (seven years ago) link

eating alone

clouds, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:14 (seven years ago) link

i'll be honest, i've even been embarrassed by the act of chewing.

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:18 (seven years ago) link

there have been some good ones lately

i like the ones where people are embarrassed to even exist -- like "why am i here and why won't you stop looking at me"
those are the ones i identify with

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:22 (seven years ago) link

embarrassment that I have done things on this thread that embarrass others to witness

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:25 (seven years ago) link

chewing is tough it's true. and i chew v slowly so i often have an awkward dinner thing of having to make the choice between speaking with my mouth full or making people wait for what feels like three forevers for me to reply to them.

Shane Richie Junior (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:25 (seven years ago) link

Trying on clothes in public. I went to purchase a couple of new suits recently, and just trying them on, having the tailor measure and mark up everything, the whole process is weirdly embarrassing.

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:27 (seven years ago) link

xp see, the ones where someone else is embarrassing to you are quite different imo
several times this week i have been the older woman blasting various types of music, possibly including gangnam style, out of her car and singing
with verve!

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:29 (seven years ago) link

basically, having a body is embarrassing

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:29 (seven years ago) link

I was thinking more about rock concert grinding and calling women "baby"

oh god what have I admitted

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:31 (seven years ago) link

some guy i didn't know tried to do that to me (from behind!) at a dinosaur jr show in the 90s
at least you're not that guy

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:34 (seven years ago) link

Dinosaur Jr! Was it during "Freak Scene"?

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:35 (seven years ago) link

brb gotta burn my time machine and destroy evidence

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:36 (seven years ago) link

It started about 1/3 of the way into the show -- can't remember what song was playing when I noticed it -- and for a while I was like wtf is going on back there and then I remember just turning around and being like "what are you doing?" and he stopped. I thought it might have been an accident, but he looked pretty embarrassed. It's extremely unfortunate that what I remember about that show is not the music, but this guy's boner. Oh well.

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:38 (seven years ago) link

:(

embarrassed for humanity now

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:39 (seven years ago) link

Hey at least I remember something. It was post Green Mind, so the place was pretty packed and I was toward the front -- there were lots and lots of people behind me, including people who only clearly only knew (and clapped for) the radio singles. I think this guy was one of those. That is the end of my story.

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:41 (seven years ago) link

I think I acted in an inappropriate way in my younger years in such situations but that's a rational embarrassment

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 15:45 (seven years ago) link

LL I had that happened to me once as well! ugh. gross. Except I just elbowed him in the stomach because it was in the middle of a song I liked and I really, really didn't want to see his face.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 16:32 (seven years ago) link

A friend of mine ended up making out with a girl at a Fugazi show in the 90s once - I don't believe either of them was being gross or creepy, it just ended up happening. He was mostly embarrassed because Fugazi is not the kind of band you generally end up making out with a stranger to.

joygoat, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:13 (seven years ago) link

i get embarrassed whenever straight guys discuss girls in front of me as if i am privy to the conversation

clouds, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:14 (seven years ago) link

Same here, and I'm straight.

pplains, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:18 (seven years ago) link

i am almost always embarrassed when we have functions at work with guest speakers. i think I'm just embarrassed for people who have to talk to a room full of strangers, even if they are good at it I feel embarrassed by the ~situation~

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:30 (seven years ago) link

i get embarrassed when i hear my own teacher voice or if i have to raise my voice, but other than that, speaking in front of a group is no big thang
don't cry for me argentina

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 20:51 (seven years ago) link

I hate hearing my own voice recorded and played back!

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 20:52 (seven years ago) link

not me! i like it. i used to hate it, but then i decided that i sound alright. it's part of my "get over yourself" mission.

passion it person (La Lechera), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 20:57 (seven years ago) link

you and your darned rational thought and self-actualization

mh, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:00 (seven years ago) link

xxpost LL I wouldn't be embarrassed for you anyway bcz teaching somehow doesn't fall under my embarrassment umbrella

except me being embarrassed about trying to teach many years ago, lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:03 (seven years ago) link

I get embarrassed when someone mishears a question from someone else, even when it's innocuous. The classic example being where/when:
Person 1: "Where's your birthday party?"
Person 2: "Oh, Friday night at 8."
<brief pause where Person 1 knows they were misheard, doesn't want to make Person 2 awkward>
Person 1: "Um, cool. And (over-enunciating) where are you having the party?"

Blech. Don't think that classes as empathy, as Person 2 never seems to notice, or care even if they do.

CraigG, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 12:51 (seven years ago) link

Walking into a single-occupancy public restroom that someone just stank up and knowing that the person after you will assume you were the culprit.

Being stricken with a sudden bout of food poisoning or somesuch the first time you're over at a new friend's place, where the bathroom is right next to the room where everyone else is and knowing that they all know What You're Doing In There.

Also: pretty much everything single-occupancy-bathroom- and/or poo-related. Wholly irrational but deeply embarrassing.

Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 13:38 (seven years ago) link

ppl clapping between movements at classical music concerts

clouds, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:09 (seven years ago) link

i like that

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:15 (seven years ago) link

u can just ~feel~ the consternation from the sort of uptight 60 yr olds who comprise 80% of classical concert audiences

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:17 (seven years ago) link

Irrational fear of buying toilet paper, especially in high quantities. It's never Happened, but I keep fearing the store clerk that will wrinkle his brow, look at me with a broad grin, and ask "So, Poopin tonight, eh?".

NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:18 (seven years ago) link

ppl clapping between movements at classical music concerts

― clouds, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 11:09 AM (7 minutes ago)

OTM. Also, applause for soloists in the middle of jazz shows, before the song is over.

WilliamC, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:18 (seven years ago) link

concert etiquette in general is embarrassing to me

why are u standing and clapping

clouds, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:18 (seven years ago) link

yeah

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:19 (seven years ago) link

it was kind of embarasing comparing the dutiful applause for berg's violin concerto to the riotous hollering for ravel's relatively minor 'la valse'

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:21 (seven years ago) link

it's funny if you listen to a long enough applause you start to think how weird the sound is. the sound of slapping flesh.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:26 (seven years ago) link

haha I've done that! Jesse and I went to see an admittedly amazing performance of Elektra at the Lyric Opera and Jesus H. people clapped for one million years and it only look like two minutes for me to start thinking "Why do we clap? It's such a weird thing. We're just slapping our hands together, making this noise, what a weird thing to do. We're all just monkeys, really, slapping our hands together because we like something. This is actually kind of stupid."*

*No, I was not high.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:30 (seven years ago) link

i do it all the time!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:30 (seven years ago) link

I guess I feel embarrassed for people who clap at the wrong time during symphonies or operas, but that's just because I know there are judgmental people thinking bad things about them just because they haven't penetrated the esoteric world of performing arts etiquette. I'm pretty populist when it comes to that stuff, probably because I flipping love opera and I think more people would like it if it didn't have such a rep for being a snooty thing for old snoots.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:32 (seven years ago) link

At rock concerts (among other types of live musical performances) it is also typical for audiences to scream or sometimes whistle in appreciation of a performance. People also sometimes begin to move their bodies rhythmically with the music, which is sometimes known as dancing. Customs are weird! I think you notice it more at a classical performance because that's all the audience is allowed to do!

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:35 (seven years ago) link

I like at the opera when people yell "BRAVA!" after the aria because it feels kind of old school, plus a good aria is transcendent and sometimes you just gotta yell about it.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:38 (seven years ago) link

Totally.

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:40 (seven years ago) link

i was at a grand opening of a restored civil war-era fort recently. some re-enactors were there to lend some historic levity to the sitch. there was one guy there who, as far as i could tell, was not among the re-enactors. he just seemed to enjoy going to such events in period clothes. looked like an extra from deadwood. with one of those dumb tall hats. i'm walking around taking pictures of the event and at the conclusion this guy ends up beside me. when the person on the mic said "that's it, thanks for coming," this guy yells "THREE CHEERS FOR THESE UNITED STATES. HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!" waving his dumb tall hat around. it was embarrassing.

andrew m., Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:50 (seven years ago) link

'dumb tall hat' is making me lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:51 (seven years ago) link

as old school yells go, it's not a fave

andrew m., Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:51 (seven years ago) link

irl lol?

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:51 (seven years ago) link

OTM. Also, applause for soloists in the middle of jazz shows, before the song is over.

― WilliamC, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 12:18 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ARRRG this drives me fucking nuts. I always wonder if the next soloist is thinking, "Yeah, I'll just phone it in until the applause for the previous solo dies down and you can actually hear me, thanks."

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:56 (seven years ago) link

http://www.allyourjazz.com/2009/12/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/

(1) Clapping after EACH solo is fine; however keep the clapping to a minimum. Now, that isn’t to say that musicians want to hear golf claps; rather keep the length of the clap brief. This is mostly because the music is still going, and the end of a solo could be an important transition to the next part of the song. This is in contrast with the classical or operatic clap which involves profuse bowing on the part of the performer and many curtain calls.

(2) In general, when there are multiple soloists playing right after the other, there is a progression where the lead or featured musician will be going last. This means there is generally a progression in the volume of the clapping, starting with moderate and ending in a loud. Keep in mind, though, that you should still refrain from any sustained clapping beyond 4 to 5 seconds.

(3) Yelling is generally not the best way to respond after a solo, although the occasional “yeah” or “woo-hoo” can be heard. Let us just point out that this is generally done by those you know the artists personally or who are at least a regular to jazz concerts. When going to your first couple of gigs, you might not want to be the first person to do this. In short, refrain from verbal outbursts or anything that might involve a spotlight being place on you.

(4) The avid jazz listener and frequent guest at jazz gigs will often let you a short comment or even a small clap IN THE MIDDLE of the solo. The reason for this is that they usually hear something in the solo that is very notable and common in jazz – “the quote.” Musicians like to quote themselves and each other, and what this means is that they might throw in a short reference to “pop goes the weasel” or other famous lick mid-solo. Not only is it creative and entertains the crowd with their musicality and musical ability, but it can even quote a musician who has used that line before (maybe even in the same song). For beginners, don’t worry about this. Let the regulars handle this, and don’t feel offended if it happens.

One last bit about applause. The noobie might perceive the “post-solo” clapping to be short and disrespectful, but it is well received. It is enough to hear response and know that the audience is with them, and at the same time, they know the rest of the song can keep going without thunderous applause or other interruption.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:00 (seven years ago) link

otoh I agree with you guys

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:00 (seven years ago) link

well i'm never going to a jazz show now

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:01 (seven years ago) link

jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/jazz-etiquette-what-to-do-how-to-react-at-a-jazz-concert/

Suggest Banlieue (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:02 (seven years ago) link

I didn't think there was a way to suck the fun and excitement out of jazz, but there it is: For beginners, don’t worry about this. Let the regulars handle this, and don’t feel offended if it happens.

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:02 (seven years ago) link

That site should probably just be called suckingthefunandexcitementoutofjazz.com

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:04 (seven years ago) link

do not make eye contact with other jazz goers or musicians, or draw any kind of attention to your presence at all, or the concert will come to a screeching halt and you will be fired up on by snipers.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:06 (seven years ago) link

Is this the Irrationally Angry or Irrationally Embarrassed thread? I'm now confused.

NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:07 (seven years ago) link

please refrain from enthusiasm of any kind. you are a beginner, you couldn't possibly appreciate jazz until you have been to at least nine hundred concerts. beat it, loser.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:07 (seven years ago) link

xp We were embarrased then we got angry the more we thought about it.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:07 (seven years ago) link

Etiquette shmetiquette. Seriously, long lists of rules about how one should and should not approach/appreciate art really get my dander up. Sorry to use such rough language.

Oral Kiosk (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:12 (seven years ago) link

no schmoffense taken

clouds, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:14 (seven years ago) link

Old Lunch OTM. I want to punch whoever wrote that "jazz" "etiquette" piece. Any guidance beyond "listen" is suspect.

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:33 (seven years ago) link

i'm embarrassed on the behalf of the person who wrote it
how boring and uncomfortable it must be to be that person

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:35 (seven years ago) link

was taught in middle school that one applauds a jazz solo and one does not applaud between movements of an orchestral work

wongo hulkington's jade palace late night buffet (silby), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:36 (seven years ago) link

jazz is kind of embarrassing overall

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:42 (seven years ago) link

Irrational fear of buying toilet paper, especially in high quantities. It's never Happened, but I keep fearing the store clerk that will wrinkle his brow, look at me with a broad grin, and ask "So, Poopin tonight, eh?".

― NINO CARTER, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 5:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Avoid this situation by requesting toilet paper anytime a flatmate/friend asks if you want anything from the shop. It really pisses people off

Number None, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:51 (seven years ago) link

I used to be the designated toilet paper buyer for the shared house I lived in, and I had absolutely no fear about rocking up to the supermarket checkout with two jumbo 9 roll packs.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:54 (seven years ago) link

Then I'd have to hide like four rolls in my room, so that we didn't suddenly run out.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:57 (seven years ago) link

I'm super-awkward about making appointments and scheduling maintenance in my home. Toilet paper buying, not really.

mh, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 19:34 (seven years ago) link

i was once designated to purchase tampons -- as i was scanning the shelves looking for the correct item, a woman hi-fived me

(this was not embarrassing, just unusual)

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:00 (seven years ago) link

aw

mh, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:02 (seven years ago) link

hearing people, usually drunk, talk in fake english accents.

akm, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:03 (seven years ago) link

Yeah, unless you're, like, fourteen and buying them for your mom, I never understood the embarrassment of buying tampons as a dude. I mean, clearly they aren't for you. Unless it's some gynophobic thing I don't get because I'm not Macho.

Poop Song 89 (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:25 (seven years ago) link

Someone I like posted an email to the entire department asking them to vote for her in some online competition.

If it had been someone I don't like I'd be straight to the stupid annoying coworkers thread but as it is I'll just have to feel embarrassed.

a panda, Malmö (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:26 (seven years ago) link

I think it's supposed to threaten your masculinity in some way or your self image by associating yourself with products that are not for men or indicate you may be pooping, a time when you would be vulnerable to attack. x-p

mh, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:27 (seven years ago) link

It's just misogyny, y'all.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:33 (seven years ago) link

I always thought I was violating the sanctity of some secret female aisle.

But hey, it wasn't me that stocked the diapers there.

pplains, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:40 (seven years ago) link

how can I know when jazz is occurring?

frogbs, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:45 (seven years ago) link

http://thestockmasters.com/files/images/story-images/hannibal-a-team.jpg

when hannibal is around

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:48 (seven years ago) link

Cosby had good taste in Jazz iirc

NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:48 (seven years ago) link

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp1wdhYlyq1r00k3po1_r2_500.gif

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:58 (seven years ago) link

http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/1313252609743540.gif

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:59 (seven years ago) link

Sorry. "cosby show dance gif" may be the best Google search results ever.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:00 (seven years ago) link

omg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_logxw2QbRO1r03vjuo1_250.gif

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:00 (seven years ago) link

wau

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:01 (seven years ago) link

Thanking u

NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:04 (seven years ago) link

okay one more

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx958nQ3jv1qaboh9o1_500.gif

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:04 (seven years ago) link

it'll be embarrassing when my mom gives me that sweater for xmas

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:05 (seven years ago) link

It'll be less embarrassing if you dance in it.

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:08 (seven years ago) link

I would wear that sweater.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:10 (seven years ago) link

It's pretty cool that one man can become an icon for a very specific type of ugly sweater.

I'm a little irrationally embarrassed by my sudden overwhelming feelings of affection toward Bill Cosby.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:10 (seven years ago) link

Whooee feelings are even more embarrassing than bodies, imo.

passion it person (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:11 (seven years ago) link

even pleated pants work on bill cosby

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:12 (seven years ago) link

In Britain, there are two '80s US sweater icons: Cos and Casey Kasem.

rihanna, will you ever win? (suzy), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:12 (seven years ago) link

are they called jumper icons?

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:12 (seven years ago) link

xp don't forget Noel Edmonds.
Actually, wait...
Forget Noel Edmonds

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:13 (seven years ago) link

xp to LL - Oh, speaking of bodies, I was going to offer a long post in solidarity with your "chewing" embarrassment, but never got around to it, but chewing gets to me, too. So does any situation where I'm expected to stand and eat and socialize. I usually just don't eat, which is how I end up wasted at work parties.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:14 (seven years ago) link

EATING AND SOCIALIZING IS NOT INNOCUOUS

Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:15 (seven years ago) link

(But yes, embarrassing)

Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:16 (seven years ago) link

The standing is a crucial component. I can eat with other people in a social setting, but being expected to stand and talk and hold a drink and a napkin full of mini-quiche ugh. I'm always so focused on getting my hands free that I stuff whatever it is in my mouth and then I'm chewing like a cow and that's always when somebody says, "So, carl agatha, how's that big case coming?"

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:18 (seven years ago) link

Then I have to do the universal symbol for "I acknowledge you but do not want to talk with my mouth full" and suddenly everybody is watching me chew and I've got the added pressure of wondering whether what I have to say in response is going to make everybody annoyed that they stood there waiting and watching me chew. It's just the worst.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:20 (seven years ago) link

you ppl with your fancy work parties

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:21 (seven years ago) link

Work parties at my new job are super fancy! And plentiful. I could have attended four holiday parties had I been so inclined (I was not).

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:23 (seven years ago) link

you ppl with your fancy work

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:23 (seven years ago) link

Standing and eating doesn't leave my hands free to applaud after a solo.

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:25 (seven years ago) link

Just get a straw and blow bubbles

Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:29 (seven years ago) link

I'm a little irrationally embarrassed by my sudden overwhelming feelings of affection toward Bill Cosby.

YES. I hadn't thought of him really in a while and seeing him make crazy faces gave me huge nostalgic flashbacks. My cousin and I watched "Bill Cosby Himself" like a hundred times on HBO at my grandmother's house when I was a kid.

As for the sweaters this is one of my favorite things in the world: http://www.geekosystem.com/cosby-regression-sweater/

joygoat, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:32 (seven years ago) link

Amazing.

I remember watching Himself at a slumber party and LOLing my head off. My dad had a Bill Cosby comedy record (with the bit about him saving a snowball in the freezer) and I would put on my dad's big old 70s can headphones and listen to that record and laugh and laugh.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:36 (seven years ago) link

hearing people, usually drunk, talk in fake english accents.

― akm, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 2:03 PM (1 hour ago)

i watched a friend's play (another embarrassing situ) that was done entirely like this

clouds, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:42 (seven years ago) link

It is embarrassing watching someone pretend to be drunk and doing a terrible job of it (whether IRL or in theater).

NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 21:45 (seven years ago) link

The standing is a crucial component.

It's not THAT difficult.

kinder, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 22:20 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

accidentally replying to all rather than just the sender, a feeling of shameful horror even when your message is perfectly innocuous.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 3 January 2013 04:53 (seven years ago) link

instant suicidal urges if it's not innocuous.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 3 January 2013 04:54 (seven years ago) link

ONE TIME I got an email from a nonprofit I had worked with for many years announcing an important event taking place the following day, which was a good example of how frustratingly disorganized they were. One day's notice for a major fundraising effort? Are you shitting me?

Anyway, forwarded that email to Jeff with some brief but irritated commentary on the matter, including at least one f-bomb, but really I replied to all. The whole mailing list. It was three to five years ago and I still feel sick thinking about it.

If you reply all on my work email it pops up a box asking if you really mean to, for which I am grateful.

carl agatha, Thursday, 3 January 2013 13:58 (seven years ago) link

where can you buy cosby sweaters

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 3 January 2013 14:00 (seven years ago) link

talking on the phone - ie me

I'm okay if it's casual friend phonecalls, but if through my work, or my freelance writing, I have to call complete strangers and explain myself I just, I can't stand it. Having someone kinda half interested going 'okayyyy' *silence* or 'uh huh' and I start imagining that I'm just pissing them off and wasting their time and oh god I just want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it. I hate hearing myself stumble over my words and nervously laugh and ugh i just DIE

I hate it

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 4 January 2013 23:00 (seven years ago) link

Smiling or waving back at someone who I think is smiling or waving at me but not. Want to disappear.

*tera, Friday, 4 January 2013 23:12 (seven years ago) link

I get extremely embarrassed when the waiter/waitress asks me "how's everything tasting?" I'm not sure why, but I feel really awkward and embarrassed when that question is posed to me.

Poliopolice, Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:22 (seven years ago) link

"Wonderful! Then tell me, what do you think of the smell of this place?"

pplains, Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:32 (seven years ago) link

everything is tasting like ash in my mouth.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:38 (seven years ago) link

somehow i'd be much more comfortable with "how are we doing over here" or some such. The tasting question makes me feel too much like a king or something.

Poliopolice, Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:45 (seven years ago) link

(hands burger to waitress)
"My husband says this tastes like shit. What do you think?"

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:47 (seven years ago) link

"Tasting" feels weirdly personal to me.

carl agatha, Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:51 (seven years ago) link

Also it forces you to answer a question before you can ask for whatever you actually need. "Fine except I need a side of ranch" "Dry, because I need another beer" "I don't know because you never brought silverware"

carl agatha, Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:53 (seven years ago) link

lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 5 January 2013 00:54 (seven years ago) link

accidentally replying to all rather than just the sender, a feeling of shameful horror even when your message is perfectly innocuous.

― Merdeyeux, Thursday, January 3, 2013 4:53 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This happened at work recently, in almost Abbott and Costello fashion, turned from embarrassment into outright anger. One person accidentally sent an email to the entire firm instead of just the necessary groups, and then hundreds of people responded to say "please take me off the email", whilst another 100-200 replied to say "Everybody STOP REPLYING ALL", while...replying all themselves.

Server actually became overwhelmed and crashed temporarily as a result. Was restored pretty quick but it did scare me that some of these were high level execs sending the stupid replies.

NINO CARTER, Saturday, 5 January 2013 16:10 (seven years ago) link

^^^this is the WORST.

xanthanguar (cwkiii), Saturday, 5 January 2013 17:01 (seven years ago) link

There's a well-worn bit of net folklore about such an occurrence that derailed everything at a multinational for several days.

autistic boy is surprisingly good at basketball (silby), Saturday, 5 January 2013 17:59 (seven years ago) link

I suggested layoffs for all guilty parties but our leaders were not amused

NINO CARTER, Saturday, 5 January 2013 18:12 (seven years ago) link

this is the kind of simple thing, that like the basic steps you can take as a driver to prevent/help clear up traffic jams, should be basic instruction for every person living in decent society.

Poliopolice, Saturday, 5 January 2013 18:51 (seven years ago) link

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

ljubljana, Monday, 7 January 2013 09:38 (seven years ago) link

When I was little, I had an acute fear that one day (possibly as an adult) I'd be in a restaurant and the waiter would put a large napkin around my neck like you sometimes see in cartoons or caricatures.

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 7 January 2013 09:55 (seven years ago) link

My sister refers to her dogs as her children. Often. It's embarrassing.

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 10:30 (seven years ago) link

Ugh I have multiple friends who bandy about phrases like "furbabies" and one of them is a rampant anti-kids woman (which is fine) but she goes on about her (now deceased) dog like it was her child. And calls other peoples dogs "godchildren" and shit.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 7 January 2013 10:54 (seven years ago) link

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 11:13 (seven years ago) link

Nobody loves dogs more than me, but 'furbaby'? ARGH VOM.

karl lagerlout (suzy), Monday, 7 January 2013 12:15 (seven years ago) link

Are they literally yr children, tho? Yjat's how my sister(s) see them

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 12:22 (seven years ago) link

(Thats)

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 12:23 (seven years ago) link

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

I have a strict "use your words" policy when interacting with speech-capable humans. I hate that shit.

carl agatha, Monday, 7 January 2013 13:31 (seven years ago) link

(I doubt she thinks she gave birth to them, but I honestly wonder where the line lies sometimes)

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 14:28 (seven years ago) link

"granddogger"

mh, Monday, 7 January 2013 14:29 (seven years ago) link

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

Not always possible for a lot of people, you know.

Still, and I say this as person who owns a tiny dog that often sleeps between my legs in bed, people who refer to pets as children are all sorts of horrible.

joygoat, Monday, 7 January 2013 14:58 (seven years ago) link

Person in question could have kids, and also loves to date guys w/kids already provided. Point taken tho.

albvivertine, Monday, 7 January 2013 15:05 (seven years ago) link

my old boss was a gay man, and i know he saw his dogs as his kids. when one of them got cancer and died at age 14, he was out of office for two weeks, and when I saw him when he returned, I know he was broken inside.

i realize a lot of people think of humans as "different" and "not animals" but i don't think there is anything wrong with thinking of animals as your children, even if biologically they are clearly not.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 16:40 (seven years ago) link

I would protect my children with my life and would give one of you up before my kids.

Binx the Cat, on the other hand...

pplains, Monday, 7 January 2013 16:44 (seven years ago) link

political debates

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 7 January 2013 16:47 (seven years ago) link

Usher's "Climax" and any other song that talks explicitly about, um, climaxing. I prefer sex lyrics shrouded in metaphor and shame, thank you.

carl agatha, Monday, 7 January 2013 16:50 (seven years ago) link

i think i have a much, much lower tolerance for public asskissing than others do. i find it extremely gross and uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch while others seem to not be bothered at all.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 17:03 (seven years ago) link

how literally are you talking here

goole, Monday, 7 January 2013 17:44 (seven years ago) link

people literally pulling down other people's pants and kissing their anuses

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 18:15 (seven years ago) link

I talk to myself a....ok you know what, screw it, I'm not going to be able to top the post above

NINO CARTER, Monday, 7 January 2013 19:23 (seven years ago) link

- eye tests

Merdeyeux, Monday, 7 January 2013 19:29 (seven years ago) link

^ I find it weird how embarrassed I get to miss one letter, so sometimes I memorize the board in advance.

NINO CARTER, Monday, 7 January 2013 19:29 (seven years ago) link

the awkward pauses on the phone when my dad and i are trying to work out whether it's time to end the phone call. i only get this with him. he likes to go down conversational tangents and mention w/e has caught his imagination lately but there's a resultant trepidation in the lulls where we can hear each other wondering if we should finish it up or carry on and it leads to these weird abrupt farewells.

ogmor, Monday, 7 January 2013 19:36 (seven years ago) link

i find that a good "hey dad, i have to go" is a pretty good fiction that everyone is happy to use and have used on them. no one ever asks where you need to go or what you're doing.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 19:58 (seven years ago) link

BUT WHEN?!

ogmor, Monday, 7 January 2013 20:03 (seven years ago) link

during the first awkward pause that feels like a good stopping point.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:03 (seven years ago) link

Ha, my parents do the "Well, I'm going to let you go..." like they would love to stay on the phone but they can tell that I have a busy and important life and don't want to keep me from it, even when I've made it clear that I've blocked out as much time as they want for chatting. See also "I don't want to run up your phone bill..." or "I don't want to use up all of your minutes" dispute having a cellphone plan with free long distance and unlimited minutes. I'll even say that and five minutes later, "Well, I don't want to run up your bill..."

It's not that they don't like me. It's that they don't want to be on the phone anymore and are constitutionally incapable of saying that they have something better to do.

carl agatha, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:04 (seven years ago) link

despite not dispute. The disputes are all related to politics.

carl agatha, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:04 (seven years ago) link

exactly! the excuse is a convenient fiction everyone can use to avoid the social awkwardness of saying "I don't want to talk to you anymore." Everyone knows it's not about the phone bill, and everyone's ok with that.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:08 (seven years ago) link

i dunno, i find 'i'll let you go' pretty socially awkward

mookieproof, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:12 (seven years ago) link

"Well. I don't want to keep you any longer."
"Your mom says you had a good Christmas?"

pplains, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:23 (seven years ago) link

i dunno, i find 'i'll let you go' pretty socially awkward

that's why you say "i have to go" instead. it's better for everyone involved. it's like saying, "I'd love to chat all day, but unfortunately some outside condition that's out of my control is preventing me. If I could change it, I would, but I can't. So I'll talk to you later." It puts the blame on some external factor, not the feelings of the people on the phone.

Poliopolice, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:34 (seven years ago) link

I agree! But attributing a feeling to someone else rather than own up to having that feeling yourself out of an assumption that the other person will be sad if you own up to that feeling is kind of my family's super power. Sometimes I think I'm the only person who wants to talk to her grandmother on the phone more than she wants to talk to me. I can usually get about five minutes before she's not wanting to run up my bill.

carl agatha, Monday, 7 January 2013 21:39 (seven years ago) link

this is when we're both happy to let the conversation meander w/ no other pressure or boredom & yet during every lull there is an awareness that it will have to end at some point & this is nice but i suppose it could be now? maybe that's what he's thinking? and often the conversation restarts but sooner or later there will be the abrupt goodbye.

ogmor, Monday, 7 January 2013 22:01 (seven years ago) link

phones, man

mookieproof, Monday, 7 January 2013 22:09 (seven years ago) link

skype4eva

ogmor, Monday, 7 January 2013 22:18 (seven years ago) link

I have a strict "use your words" policy when interacting with speech-capable humans. I hate that shit.

this is way more IA than IE but YES. i hear your obviously-voluntary laughter that wouldn't exist if someone else wasn't in the room. no, i'm not going to ask "what's so funny." i am willing to let this nip this interaction in the bud right now, no matter how awkward it is.

#guy #guy fieri #poop #hallway (zachlyon), Monday, 7 January 2013 22:26 (seven years ago) link

*willing to nip this

#guy #guy fieri #poop #hallway (zachlyon), Monday, 7 January 2013 22:27 (seven years ago) link

ok actual IE: screwing up or seeing someone else screw up a text entry in a way that lets everyone else see how they were originally going to phrase it before editing

#guy #guy fieri #poop #hallway (zachlyon), Monday, 7 January 2013 22:28 (seven years ago) link

The fact that the consent form for my forthcoming vasectomy was printed in jolly Comic Sans

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 08:23 (seven years ago) link

Well, the "Sans" part makes sense.

pplains, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 14:39 (seven years ago) link

sans deferens

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 15:25 (seven years ago) link

Work caption competitions and the winning results. One tiny dark photo of a meeting where someone is accidentally pulling a slightly wacky face + one assortment of Movember photos = painful absence of lols, to be repeated at least once yearly in the Christmas newsletter

a panda, Malmö (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 17 January 2013 15:08 (seven years ago) link

airline pilot intercom "humorous banter"

#YOLO magic orchestra (clouds), Thursday, 17 January 2013 15:48 (seven years ago) link

Employees singing Happy Birthday to a cake inscribed with half a dozen names.

pplains, Thursday, 17 January 2013 15:50 (seven years ago) link

Bonus points if my own is on there as well.

pplains, Thursday, 17 January 2013 15:50 (seven years ago) link

i used to get embarrassed when my dad would ramble on and never listen to the person trying to talk to him but now i don't care. i'm just glad he's still alive so i just watch him and smile. its like watching a big demented baby talk to people. who is hard of hearing. and who listens to jazz all day long and reads the wall street journal. okay, that's a really weird baby...

― scott seward, Monday, 26 November 2012 16:59 (1 month ago) Permalink

scott this is one of the best/sweetest things ever posted on here, thank u much bro

fiscal cliff racer (bernard snowy), Thursday, 17 January 2013 16:09 (seven years ago) link

what i could never deal with was movies where the protagonist is blamed for/suspected of doing something wrong/evil/criminal/morally indefensible, but you, the viewer, are the only one who knows they are innocent/being framed/mistaken for someone else.

― the oral history of (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:51 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what i hate though is when someone is being blamed for something they didn't do, and yet for some reason they don't do anything to explain their innocence.

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:54 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ALL-TIME CARTOON PET PEEVES

fiscal cliff racer (bernard snowy), Thursday, 17 January 2013 16:19 (seven years ago) link

(CYE was mentioned upthread, but I feel like Arrested Development was another show that deliberately played with the uncomfortableness of this dramatic device)

fiscal cliff racer (bernard snowy), Thursday, 17 January 2013 16:20 (seven years ago) link

40 Days and 40 Nights did this in the worst way possible, the main character literally gets raped and then broken up with because she thinks that he cheated on her and he never says "hey I was actually raped"

frogbs, Thursday, 17 January 2013 16:42 (seven years ago) link

Wasn't "Curb yr Enthus" all about that as well?

Mark G, Thursday, 17 January 2013 17:06 (seven years ago) link

Customer service talk on the HMV thread reminds me:

I went to my building society the other day and the cashier was super cheery and helpful and THEN he said "and there's a chance you may be phoned later on today by our customer service quality control reps, so if you feel you could vote ten out of ten for your service today..."

I felt so bad for that guy having to ask. Also cz I would've voted 10/10 without being asked but being asked to immediately made me think of reasons not to.

Nobody phoned anyway.

a panda, Malmö (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 17 January 2013 20:35 (seven years ago) link

any type of performance that requires being HAPPY! in a really showy way (which means i can't watch any singing/dancing-based reality show)

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, November 26, 2012 10:33 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

given this i probably should not have watched the movie 'pitch perfect' at all but there's a part in the movie where the acapella groups are having a "riff off" where one group starts a song and then another group interrupts with a different song and it's full of attitude and then anna kendrick runs in and starts doing the rap from "no diggity" (because she's an edgy dj) but she's doing it in her anna kendrick voice and i got so embarrassed that i literally had to hide under a blanket

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 28 January 2013 15:31 (seven years ago) link

Haha oh no! Anna Kendrick rapping "No Diggity" sounds truly terrible.

carl agatha, Monday, 28 January 2013 15:50 (seven years ago) link

oh shit it's on youtube. it's hard for me think of anything more excruciating than this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q573_hDhTbE

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 28 January 2013 15:53 (seven years ago) link

what i could never deal with was movies where the protagonist is blamed for/suspected of doing something wrong/evil/criminal/morally indefensible, but you, the viewer, are the only one who knows they are innocent/being framed/mistaken for someone else.
― the oral history of (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:51 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what i hate though is when someone is being blamed for something they didn't do, and yet for some reason they don't do anything to explain their innocence.

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:54 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha I feel like the entire character of bates in downton abbey is premised on this

christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 28 January 2013 15:59 (seven years ago) link

Arrrrrrggghhhhhh that video made me want to die before the first ten seconds were over. Why are they having a sing-off in an abandoned pool, anyway?

carl agatha, Monday, 28 January 2013 16:03 (seven years ago) link

uh it's a RIFF OFF

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 28 January 2013 16:03 (seven years ago) link

You know, I have seen and LOVED every Step It Up movie where they do fucking ridiculous things like have dance offs in parking garages but for some reason, the same concept applied to a capella singing groups embarrasses me.

carl agatha, Monday, 28 January 2013 16:07 (seven years ago) link

honestly after sitting through Pitch Perfect that was kind of the high point --- everytime they started singing I died of embarrassment tbh

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 28 January 2013 16:40 (seven years ago) link

i call that "'good' singing"

ramblin' evil mushroom (clouds), Monday, 28 January 2013 17:49 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

the shame of chobani (brand) passion fruit (flavor) yogurt is doubled because i get one light wave of embarrassment when i buy it, and another bonus one when i eat it.

still, it's so tasty that i keep enduring this cycle of shame once every two weeks or so.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:17 (seven years ago) link

I had a pretty serious addiction to raspberry chobani for a while

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:17 (seven years ago) link

If there were another way to get passion fruit pulp into my yogurt, I would do it. But aside from making little squeeze tubes from frozen Goya pre-sweetened passion fruit pulp (maracuya) and plastic sandwich bags, I can't see that happening. I don't see fresh passion fruits being sold anywhere.

Also the frozen Goya stuff doesn't have the seeds, and I like the seeds.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:23 (seven years ago) link

Doomed to eating this yogurt and feeling ashamed about it ;_;

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:23 (seven years ago) link

my parents used to grow them, ubiquitous in every austrlalian garden. I wonder if they grow here? They must, surely. I never see them grown though, or even really sold anywhere.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:25 (seven years ago) link

v easy to grow iirc

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:26 (seven years ago) link

Really!? I guess I've only seen them in the southern hemisphere now that I think about it. I would like to grow some passion fruits.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:27 (seven years ago) link

They are in my local grocery store! (run by Peruvians).

ljubljana, Monday, 18 February 2013 19:29 (seven years ago) link

I only see pomegranates, no passion fruits. Maybe I should look around a little more! But therein lies the shame of Chobani -- why look around for anything when the chobani passion fruit is right in front of me.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:32 (seven years ago) link

I bet you could grow it indoors -- they don't mind the cold but I don't think they stand up to frosts/snow very well.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:35 (seven years ago) link

wait is this brand of yogurt supposed to be embarrassing why?

Philip Nunez, Monday, 18 February 2013 19:35 (seven years ago) link

because it's dumb-sounding

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:37 (seven years ago) link

i would think squeeze tube "gogurt" to be the 9/11 of shame.

Philip Nunez, Monday, 18 February 2013 19:37 (seven years ago) link

It's probably way too cold (or warm for too short a time) to grow passion fruit in Chicago. It's basically frost or snow between late November and, oh, April. (Which is why "localvore" never made any sense to me in Chicago, but that's for another thread.)

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 19:38 (seven years ago) link

I got a couple of fresh passionfruit on my last trip to Atlanta -- the most amazing flavor ever. I need to find that yogurt or the frozen Goya pulp and get some of that embarrassment.

I Don't Wanna Be Dissed (By Anyone But You) (WilliamC), Monday, 18 February 2013 19:42 (seven years ago) link

Chobani yogurt is an Anglicized spelling of the Persian chob-ban, meaning "shepherd" (literally he who carries a stick –-- something that shepherds traditionally do).

how's life, Monday, 18 February 2013 19:58 (seven years ago) link

one of the grossest sentences i've heard was from an acquaintance who said "papa needs his chobani"

crimson hexagon sonned (clouds), Monday, 18 February 2013 20:12 (seven years ago) link

Humiliating

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 20:40 (seven years ago) link

LOL

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 20:41 (seven years ago) link

it sounds like a derivate of choad. 'that dude was a total chobani'

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:08 (seven years ago) link

Don't really get the chobani embarrassment but I don't eat yogurt

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:09 (seven years ago) link

papa needs his little stick-carrier.

how's life, Monday, 18 February 2013 21:13 (seven years ago) link

It's embarrassing to say (choBAni yoMAma emBARRassed)
overly focus-grouped (speakers of many languages will be able to pronounce it!)
sounds like choad
is a name for yogurt and yogurt is
a) hard to eat in a dignified way
b) gross to watch someone else eat
c) a bunch of gross white shit with fruit in it
d) called "yogurt"

I could go on, but why. Clearly I have made my case. The fact that I have all of these feelings about yogurt yet continue to eat it is a sign of my willingness - even eagerness! - to humiliate myself.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:18 (seven years ago) link

Don't really get the chobani embarrassment but I don't eat yogurt

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, February 18, 2013 9:09 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Why, are you ashamed?

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 21:22 (seven years ago) link

your secret yogurt shame

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:22 (seven years ago) link

also i thought this was a thread for irrational embarrassment
you don't have to get it

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:23 (seven years ago) link

I think yogurt has been cast as ladyfood or diet food or food for people with IBS, so there's definitely a gendered/medicalized/both aura about it, too. Also those horrendous commercials with bridesmaids eating yogurt and talking about how good it is compared to various tedious events in their lives.

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 21:24 (seven years ago) link

i sometimes eat dannon fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt and am unembarrassed

i believe this is the only milieu in which i have encountered the boysenberry

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:25 (seven years ago) link

it's like the cheesy poofs of yogurt

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:25 (seven years ago) link

I've disliked watching ppl eat yogurt since childhood. It peaked in the college cafeteria when I saw a friend eating a giant jiggly bowl of blueberry yog.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:31 (seven years ago) link

I avoided sitting with him. Yogurt requires no chewing,Iike baby food.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:32 (seven years ago) link

is the eating of ice cream easier to witness?

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:40 (seven years ago) link

One of my most-remembered bits from One Day at a Time is Ms. Romano complaining about yogurt and how even saying it is unappealing. "Yo-GURT... yo-GURT!"

try a little crowleymass (Jon Lewis), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:41 (seven years ago) link

Moderately, it's less jiggly.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:43 (seven years ago) link

Maybe that's why I'm ashamed of yogurt!! All I remember abt that show is the abundance of plants.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:49 (seven years ago) link

I remember the many plants too.

Also I just realized, 'Ms. Romano' = a dairy product complaining about another dairy product...

try a little crowleymass (Jon Lewis), Monday, 18 February 2013 21:51 (seven years ago) link

I mostly remember the high-waisted trousers and enviably winged hair.

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 21:54 (seven years ago) link

And the damn theme song, the words to which are taking up valuable space in my brain where Jeff's social security number and work phone should go.

carl agatha, Monday, 18 February 2013 21:54 (seven years ago) link

My supermarket sells passion fruit, but they're like $3 EACH and not ripe at all. There's a farmers market close to work that has been known to sell nice ripe ones for much cheaper. I looked into growing them myself, but it sounded kind of tricky and the plants take a couple of years to bear fruit.

Next time I see them I'll send some to you, LL - pf is probably my favorite fruit.

just1n3, Monday, 18 February 2013 22:25 (seven years ago) link

Also I just realized, 'Ms. Romano' = a dairy product complaining about another dairy product...

is this why la lechera is complaining too?

anyway: people who can't control the volume of their voice. I'm sure I do this sometimes & I get embarrassed if I noticed but when other people do it & don't notice I'm kinda mortified although there's no reason i should even care

wins rules at negative self-demolition (wins), Monday, 18 February 2013 23:10 (seven years ago) link

people yelling in public/talking loud enough that other can hear from a distance freak me out, i have a pavolovian reaction to it that sends a chill up my spine. i was so glad to move out of my old neighborhood cuz yelling down streets is basically how everyone there communicates.

crimson hexagon sonned (clouds), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 03:48 (seven years ago) link

as someone who often finds himself continuing phone conversations in my building's elevator and politely lowering my volume so as to not bother anyone else, I'm annoyed and embarrassed for people who don't do the same (it'd be a cliche to think they're doing it because they're trying to impress others around them, but it sometimes seems that way...but then again that might just be bc I live in L.A.)

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 03:53 (seven years ago) link

is this why la lechera is complaining too?
yes, i am a dairy product! a sweet delicious dairy product. i just thank the heavens every single day that i am not yogurt.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Tuesday, 19 February 2013 04:14 (seven years ago) link

Using a cellphone in public.

I know, I know, I should've gotten over this sometime around 1998.

pplains, Tuesday, 19 February 2013 04:33 (seven years ago) link

ex-coworkers who come back to the office to visit

even if they're friends, or people I like, it's just so awkward and strange and I honestly don't know how they could even walk in the front door without dying of embarrassment. I can't even fathom doing such a thing. It's so... sad.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 00:25 (seven years ago) link

yup... it's weird for everyone involved. half the people don't know the person, the other half kind of do this weird fawning thing, and the person in question's all "so you're still all working and stuff huh?"

dog latin, Friday, 22 February 2013 00:31 (seven years ago) link

we have a quasi old coworker back ... he left when the company moved about 6 months ago. he never found a new job since he still lives with his parents, so he's working here for a month on some random project. i wouldn't care so much if he wasn't kinda weird with me, trying to posture and shit when i'm around, and then getting nervous when i'm just looking at him while he's talking. what is up with that? another innocuous thing that makes you irrationally angry.

Spectrum, Friday, 22 February 2013 00:35 (seven years ago) link

oh, this is the embarrassed thread. posting in one thread thinking it's another, that at least fits here.

Spectrum, Friday, 22 February 2013 00:37 (seven years ago) link

one guy I used to work with has come by 3 times since he was let go, ostensibly to give someone in the office something or other, but each time he ends up standing at my cubicle and we make smalltalk and I'm like...dude...why are you here

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 00:40 (seven years ago) link

haha...i've done this, but then again i was really going in to visit my old boss so it wasn't the same as a total random walk-in. but everyone did seem flummoxed.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 22 February 2013 00:57 (seven years ago) link

i think they were wondering why i did it

http://kytx.images.worldnow.com/images/15256193_BG1.jpg

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 22 February 2013 00:58 (seven years ago) link

It actually used to piss me off a little bit at my old job, especially there toward the end when I was really, really looking for a way out.

"Hey, it's Baker! Still in this same old studio? Wow, I think that cart deck was still there even when I was here. Daniel B. still come around?"

I'm all shut the fuck up -your history is my present - I'm not your nostalgia - yeah daniel b still comes around.

pplains, Friday, 22 February 2013 01:13 (seven years ago) link

No joke TWO ex-coworkers visited our office within half an hour of each other this afternoon.

And they took complete tours of the sales floor, hanging out at people's desks and going into manager's offices and OH MY GOD YOU'VE MOVED EVERYONE AROUND and OH WOW and uhhhhhh just let me die of embarrassment for you both, this is a terrible idea and you should leave

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 02:35 (seven years ago) link

My last job (the terrible one!) is the only one I've ever contemplating visiting and it's just bc I really liked my coworkers. Also there was definitely a culture of people returning after they left. I think working in that environment forged steel bonds of coworkership in the blue-hot fires of WTFery. But so far I've just met up w/ friends from that job outside of work (also the first job I've left where I've stayed habitually in touch w/ former coworkers, unless you count the restaurant where Jesse and I met).

carl agatha, Friday, 22 February 2013 02:51 (seven years ago) link

My office is a pretty nice place to work, granted, so I'm not completely mystified as to why they'd come back. But still. I guess I just still have that ingrained thing of WORK vs LIFE. They're pretty firmly compartmentalized for me, I can't see myself ever missing too many people there, no matter how friendly they are. I would definitely, absolutely rather catch up with ex-coworkers outside of work at a social gathering than ever go back to my old office to say hi.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 02:55 (seven years ago) link

If I'm being totally honest, the desire to go back and visit is to see if all the complete weirdos are still so fucking weird.

carl agatha, Friday, 22 February 2013 03:24 (seven years ago) link

<3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 03:51 (seven years ago) link

I've gone by my old job twice now, I think? I only left in August and still am on the same campus and my old office is right across from where I can get free DVDs at the library so it sort of feels strange to not stop in when people see me through the giant windows. I like everyone there for the most part so it isn't super awkward or anything.

joygoat, Friday, 22 February 2013 05:26 (seven years ago) link

There's a different vibe to it when you work in an office park where visiting would require a special trip. That may be part of why I would feel okay visiting my last job, too. It's in a big, central public building with lots of public services and a train station so it wouldn't be weird for me to pop in.

carl agatha, Friday, 22 February 2013 13:21 (seven years ago) link

Clicking on the profile of someone who leaves a comment on your meetup group. Seeing they are a member of many naturist groups. Reading the posts on their profile page. Seeing the thumbnails of the people who wrote the posts.

ledge, Friday, 22 February 2013 16:34 (seven years ago) link

not irrational!

goole, Friday, 22 February 2013 21:05 (seven years ago) link

ha no, was just taking this as a catch-all thread like the anger one.

ledge, Saturday, 23 February 2013 00:18 (seven years ago) link

When (on TV or in a big crowd) people start clapping along with the music on each beat. It's so flipping dorky.

dog latin, Saturday, 23 February 2013 19:43 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

People who misspell fairly comman words in Craigslist postings. Especially those using "rod iron" for "wrought iron." Chihuahua also gets a lot of misspellings, but they're usually funny ("Chiwawa").

nickn, Friday, 15 March 2013 21:16 (seven years ago) link

Chester drawers.

Bedroom suit.

pplains, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:00 (seven years ago) link

definatly

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 15 March 2013 22:01 (seven years ago) link

I grew up amidst an entire county of people who said bedroom suit, such that I just now had to go to the internet to determine why that was wrong and what it should actually be. (I have avoided embarrassment by saying "bedroom furniture.")

carl agatha, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:02 (seven years ago) link

maybe 'bedroom suit' is like 'birthday suit', describing nudity w/a different purpose (sex)

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 15 March 2013 22:05 (seven years ago) link

Bedroom eyes, peering out of your bedroom suit.

carl agatha, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:10 (seven years ago) link

bedroom suit + tails = furries

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 15 March 2013 22:11 (seven years ago) link

People who misspell fairly comman words

ALWAYS HAPPENS.

emil.y, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:12 (seven years ago) link

Is there a name for the rule that says "whenever you write a post criticising someone's spelling or grammar, you will make a mistake yourself"?

emil.y, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:13 (seven years ago) link

Haha, and I made sure I spelled "misspell" correctly (one "s" or two?).

And yes, chester drawers is another favorite.

nickn, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:49 (seven years ago) link

And I swear I've seen colder sack for cul de sac.

nickn, Friday, 15 March 2013 22:49 (seven years ago) link

these are eggcorns iirc?

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Friday, 15 March 2013 22:52 (seven years ago) link

poke-a-dotted is the one i've seen most recently

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Friday, 15 March 2013 22:53 (seven years ago) link

Is there a name for the rule that says "whenever you write a post criticising someone's spelling or grammar, you will make a mistake yourself"?

― emil.y, Friday, March 15, 2013 6:13 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Muphry's Law

ARE YOU HIRING A NANNY OR A SHAMAN (Phil D.), Friday, 15 March 2013 23:38 (seven years ago) link

chiwaughwaugh

discreet, Friday, 15 March 2013 23:43 (seven years ago) link

Wow, I had never heard/seen "bedroom suit" before!

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Saturday, 16 March 2013 01:29 (seven years ago) link

People pronouncing "cache" as "cachet" though...

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Saturday, 16 March 2013 01:30 (seven years ago) link

I hate when I over Frenchify words. IE-maker for sure.

Though not so much when it's ridiculously Anglicized place names we have around here (Des Plaines/Dezz Plains, DuPage/DooPage).

Je55e, Saturday, 16 March 2013 14:49 (seven years ago) link

One that I hated was Calliope Street in New Orleans. "Cally-ope." And Chartres/Charters.

Je55e, Saturday, 16 March 2013 14:50 (seven years ago) link

I'm IE about the opposite:

West of town, we've got Shinall Mountain, where all the radio towers are.

When the developers came into that area during the early 80s, they renamed the streets and neighborhood Chenal Valley.

pplains, Saturday, 16 March 2013 16:00 (seven years ago) link

when it gets to be ~9pm pacific and ilxor-east coast is all abed and I'm still posting and I end up with more than one of the top few "last post by"s on ILE I feel like I'm talking too much

my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:35 (seven years ago) link

You and me both, sister.

lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:39 (seven years ago) link

i hear u cluckin' big chicken

mookieproof, Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:41 (seven years ago) link

I feel that way about late friday afternoon posts, as it becomes clear that everyone has left work and now has either gone out or at least has something better to do on friday evening

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Thursday, 21 March 2013 12:54 (seven years ago) link

I keep thinking about some really ill advised submission letter stunts back when I was a youngin' with dreams of poetry and fiction publication, which for some reason is make me want to puke with embarrassment 16 years later wtf.

carl agatha, Saturday, 30 March 2013 13:58 (seven years ago) link

Just about everything Rock Hardy ever posted embarrasses the hell out of me when I come across it.

The Complete Afterbirth of the Cool (WilliamC), Saturday, 30 March 2013 14:50 (seven years ago) link

I still have a journalish notebook from high school in which there is some terrible stuff about the LA riots in the 90s and I'm deadlocked between painful embarrassment/never wanting anyone to read that stuff (including me) and wanting to preserve it forever.

Je55e, Saturday, 30 March 2013 15:44 (seven years ago) link

Nothing irrational about being embarrassed by our naive teen enthusiasms! We all did it.

It is like ganging up on Enya (Trayce), Sunday, 31 March 2013 07:59 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Brushing my teeth. Some people seem to be able to do it in public, blithely wandering around while scrubbing away, even chatting at the same time. I can't stop my mouth becoming a dribbling mess of toothpaste foam and saliva so have to do it hunched over a sink, hiding my hideousness behind a closed bathroom door, heaven forbid I should have to do it in a public washroom.

check your privy (ledge), Monday, 15 April 2013 09:18 (seven years ago) link

Eating salad at my desk.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 17:53 (seven years ago) link

I feel like an animal eating out of a trough at the zoo. Totally humiliating.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 17:56 (seven years ago) link

with big springy leaves you can't pick up properly or fit in your mouth gracefully - otm

kinder, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 18:58 (seven years ago) link

sometimes it feels like i'm embarrassed by everything

ampersand cooper black (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 19:04 (seven years ago) link

I was hunched over the plastic container I was eating from like a monkey shoveling ants from a log. It was extremely undignified.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 19:22 (seven years ago) link

i've thought about making a thread called "innocuous things that make you irrationally uncomfortable" but i'm worried there are too many threads like this and irrationally embarrassed to admit it

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 20:46 (seven years ago) link

What do you mean? Like sitting in a chair that makes you squirm like a kid, even when everybody else in the room is relaxed and focused on matters at hand.

how's life, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 20:54 (seven years ago) link

Or like, pants that look good?

how's life, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 20:54 (seven years ago) link

Glasses that you had professionally fitted at the optometrist, but now it's a week later and they're sliding off your goddamn face.

how's life, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 20:56 (seven years ago) link

noooo i erased "uneasy" and wrote "uncomfortable" cause i thought it should be more vague, but i guess i really just mean "uneasy" or "queasy" or "things that give you a visceral sense of discomfort for no good reason"

i have a lot of them. maybe there's a thread already

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:02 (seven years ago) link

Interesting! What sort of things would uneasy entail that embarrassed doesn't cover? Like, more dread than anxiety type stuff?

how's life, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:07 (seven years ago) link

I would like to add to my list: dress shirts that have come partially untucked.

how's life, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:09 (seven years ago) link

that's why i mention it here, i don't know if they could jsut go under "embarrassed". and i started thinking about them after whoever it was started posting about having to skip the pre-movie productions bits, but i don't know if that's more "phobia" than my idea.

for me the two biggest examples are:

1. closeups of disembodied lips, ie dairy queen commercials or rocky horror. i absolutely have to change the channel for DQ commercials.
2. something that also p much only happens in commercials -- whenever a completely normal-dressed person is dancing while doing [whatever the product is], or if they're just sort of moving in a highly choreographed way and they almost always do it with a blank, satan-like smile on their face. biggest problem lately is this one commercial i can't find on yt, it's a woman doing a weird pop-and-lock routine while she does her dishes. and THIS, especially at the end. and a recent southwest commercial where i businessman is walking down a hallway and breaks into some horrible little demon dance at the end. i don't change the channel for these but i sort of endure them with fascination and maybe masochism, like torture porn?

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:19 (seven years ago) link

like in that vaseline commercial from 0:14 to 0:15 i start to feel like i might throw up

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:21 (seven years ago) link

omg the lips thing. otm!

The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:22 (seven years ago) link

lips: makes me vaguely uncomfortable, as a word

The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:23 (seven years ago) link

Watching/hearing ppl brushing their teeth, on tv or real life, is like nails down a blackboard to me - I *always* break out in goosebumps and shudder

kinder, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:23 (seven years ago) link

I sort of get all the lip talk. Like this bothers me a little: http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab227/PhallusCooper/1324355977580.gif (sfw)

I hate close-ups of eyes on TV, especially Visine commercials.

pplains, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:36 (seven years ago) link

lol that's creepy but not what i mean

it's possible that every part of the human face is made a lot creepier by being removed from the context of the rest of the face, but lips will always make me squirm and possibly forget to breathe

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:41 (seven years ago) link

Any discussion of teeth

But seriously, these are "neuroses" right?

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:41 (seven years ago) link

Chobani was on sale this week for $1 so I bought 3 :-/

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:42 (seven years ago) link

Appalled and disgusted with myself tbrr

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:42 (seven years ago) link

aww

mookieproof, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:43 (seven years ago) link

I bought four or five when it was on sale. Is Chobani embarassing? :(

Dr. Adorbius (mh), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:43 (seven years ago) link

lips will always make me squirm and possibly forget to breathe

This is why I think lip-jobs are by far the grossest of cosmetic procedures..."quit trying to get me to look at those things!"

Thirty-Six Views of ILX, by Mari3sa (WilliamC), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:44 (seven years ago) link

Chobani is the most humiliating of yogurts.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:48 (seven years ago) link

what about Fage?

Dr. Adorbius (mh), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:56 (seven years ago) link

that's ok

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 21:58 (seven years ago) link

no shame for gogurt?

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:02 (seven years ago) link

I have no desire whatsoever to eat gogurt. My chobani problem is only a problem because I can't stop eating it.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:04 (seven years ago) link

There are zillions of products I find repulsive and embarrassing -- I don't use or buy them. It's my cruel mistress Lady Chobani that I just can't give up.

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:05 (seven years ago) link

have you tried making yogurt using a chobani starter culture?

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:06 (seven years ago) link

Ha, I bought a bunch of $1 Chobanis too. This week, they were 4/$5.00 and I was all, you can't hook me in, Chobani.

pplains, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:07 (seven years ago) link

did we discuss how 'chobani' is like 'choad' crossed with 'bonnie'

The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:08 (seven years ago) link

listen, once i get my housing situation stabilized (really soon!) i am going to look into making my own goddamned passion fruit flavor packets
it's the passion fruit pulp that i can't live without, not the yogurt itself!

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:10 (seven years ago) link

Don Rickles's face gives me that uneasy feeling.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 22:12 (seven years ago) link

i started thinking about them after whoever it was started posting about having to skip the pre-movie productions bits

What are pre-movie production bits?

Zach, w/r/t the dance thing, is it an uncanny valley thing?

Je55e, Thursday, 18 April 2013 04:19 (seven years ago) link

er the pre-opening-credits studio logos, i never know what to call them

"uncanny valley" is actually a term that came to mind when i was writing that post, but i can't really explain why. at least with the pop-locking dishes lady there's no reason to think they're attempting to mimic anything in reality. with the vaseline commercial though, up until that point midway you're not totally sure if there's an element of choreography to it, and in that moment she suddenly looks like a murderous cyborg

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Thursday, 18 April 2013 05:19 (seven years ago) link

Years from now, they'll be studying Blade Runner's effects on this generation.

pplains, Thursday, 18 April 2013 13:30 (seven years ago) link

Not to derail too much but...

I've tried to like the Chobani yogurt, but it hasn't worked, especially not the Passion Fruit because I can't stand the gross seeds in it. I'm a much bigger fan of the Yoplait Greek yogurt, especially the cherry-pomegranate and coconut flavors.

Moodles, Thursday, 18 April 2013 13:38 (seven years ago) link

myself, whilst drunk/drinking

onceihadapinkumbrella (boy_slayer), Friday, 19 April 2013 01:34 (seven years ago) link

That part of Price Is Right where the contestant stares wide-eyed into the audience as people shout out numbers to her. And then when Bob would say "Loretta, we need an answer...."

Fuck, I can't handle that kind of pressure. That 15 seconds is almost worse than 30 minutes of Frasier with two dinner dates.

pplains, Thursday, 25 April 2013 15:48 (seven years ago) link

2) yogurt is for woman

I didn't know this was a thing, but

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered.

Keeps happening to me (a man) when I bring yogurt into work with my lunch, and now I know it is a thing.

Walter Galt, Thursday, 25 April 2013 16:03 (seven years ago) link

the yoplait greek yogurt has most favorable ratio of protein:sugars of commonly available supermarket single-serving greek yogurt cups fyi

adam, Thursday, 25 April 2013 16:18 (seven years ago) link

I saw one called Yopa

so embarrassing

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 16:21 (seven years ago) link

gonna get a job making up horrible yogurt names

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:17 (seven years ago) link

YoGurl

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:17 (seven years ago) link

YoGina

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:17 (seven years ago) link

Yulva

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:18 (seven years ago) link

Yolposcopy

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:18 (seven years ago) link

Yorgasm?

resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:19 (seven years ago) link

yulva is spectacular

The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:28 (seven years ago) link

Yonigurt -- nourishment for the powerful inner you

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:28 (seven years ago) link

Yolposcopy

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Thursday, April 25, 2013 7:18 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lololololol

carl agatha, Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:31 (seven years ago) link

Yogina made me lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:53 (seven years ago) link

Yoworries

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:53 (seven years ago) link

Yoproblems

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 19:53 (seven years ago) link

Yonergy

ljubljana, Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:00 (seven years ago) link

Yollopian

(comes in a tube)

Pope Frank is the messenger of your doom (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:01 (seven years ago) link

Yopenis (comes in a tube)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:01 (seven years ago) link

yolo

mookieproof, Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:02 (seven years ago) link

People making references to sexual congress in mixed company = me being so embarrassed. Was at a party last week in which a woman asked the men, what do you call your dick? and the jokes and resulting answers were evidently enjoyed by all, with no apparent embarrassment on either side. My inner Puritan was mortified, I kind of had to pretend it wasn't happening.

lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:11 (seven years ago) link

i would mentally be digging a hole in the floor for me to sit in, that sounds mortifying

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:12 (seven years ago) link

I get embarrassed by stuff like that too. And also I wouldn't have an answer.

huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:13 (seven years ago) link

So I was doin' my old lady when the doorbell rings...

mh, Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:18 (seven years ago) link

I would assume they were performing their wacky impression of an old lady.

Pope Frank is the messenger of your doom (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:20 (seven years ago) link

hahahaha

listen hun can you grab the oleo for me thanks dear uuuuuuuuggghhhh my sciatica

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:22 (seven years ago) link

in other news, today a student (female) belched in class and wasn't embarrassed at all

and that sounds like a gong-concert (La Lechera), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:26 (seven years ago) link

she has my vote

infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Thursday, 25 April 2013 20:53 (seven years ago) link

eating ramen in public. there's this delicious ramen place that i would eat at every day if i could, but i cannot get it into my mouth in a dignified fashion. it's mortifying. i could get it to-go, but they charge a buck for the take-out container and it's just more plastic waste i'd end up throwing away.

a sentimental knife (reddening), Saturday, 27 April 2013 07:42 (seven years ago) link

listening to a phrasebook-style teach-yourself-German podcast, and even the English phrases are really enunciated with wild pitch swings and strange pauses, and it is agonising. it's like a very bad radio play, and I sometimes get this same feeling even from not-so-bad radio plays.

(I get that it's probably done to cater to EFL people who know more English than German and are using this in the absence of one in their own language. I wonder if the German sounds as horrible to a native speaker as the English does to me?)

susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 14:36 (seven years ago) link

In an Amazon review of a window fan, a reviewer wrote that the fan made a noise that bothered them like fingernails on a chalkboard...for us old folks who can remember chalk boards :)

UGH;a;sdlfkj

Je55e, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:10 (seven years ago) link

re: ramen, is it just ramen or any noodles?

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 19:23 (seven years ago) link

right now i am sat in a restaurant eating nasi goreng, and every time i dig in with my chopsticks the plate spins. this will not do.

mistah WRIGHT! WHAT you doin'? (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 2 May 2013 09:09 (seven years ago) link

the weezer song "el scorcho." they have lots of embarrassing songs but most of them are also good and the embarrassing aspects come from awkward emotional places. but that one is musically embarrassing. the pseudo-rapping, the lite "funkiness" ugh

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 6 May 2013 15:52 (seven years ago) link

that kind of "funkiness" generally makes me irrationally embarrassed, yes

huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Monday, 6 May 2013 15:53 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

being up late on the US west coast and having the last answer on the top 6 or 7 ILE threads. And worrying that I posted this same one already

0808ɹƃ (silby), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 06:43 (seven years ago) link

four months pass...

Any time I hear two people older than, say, 14, talking in any detail about a video game, like actually having a conversation about specific things one does or has done in a video game, or analyzing the finer points of a games strengths and weaknesses.

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 October 2013 00:44 (seven years ago) link

i am having #chobanitime RIGHT NOW
feeling no shame though, for some reason

Untt (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2013 01:14 (seven years ago) link

lol @ #chobanitime

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 October 2013 01:16 (seven years ago) link

whenever i notice the chobani at the market it reminds me of you, ll, and then i have a little think about if it's embarrassing or not and I always conclude it's not in any way I can grasp and then sometimes I will go on to ponder my own deficiencies.

estela, Friday, 11 October 2013 02:20 (seven years ago) link

Costco has big variety packs of both Chobani and Fage :)
Both of them are the 0% fat kind :(

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 October 2013 03:36 (seven years ago) link

estela, have you ever tried to say it out loud? that might help you understand the shame.

Untt (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2013 03:40 (seven years ago) link

"Funny" sexual innuendos that aren't funny. I used to see someone who did this all the time and when I didn't laugh or played along, she would always complain about me "not getting it" ...then I pretended to agree, of course, cause the alternative would be tell her it was neither sexy not funny :/

daavid, Friday, 11 October 2013 05:19 (seven years ago) link

xp i have ll, and i can never be sure if it starts with a ch or a sh sound (i've never heard it being advertised) so yes, that is slightly embarrassing.

i had thought it was the product itself that was the source of your mortification.

estela, Friday, 11 October 2013 06:13 (seven years ago) link

it's everything
it's the fact that i purchase it, the name (which i always thought was pronounced like /tʃ/ as in 'change'), the fact that i can't stop eating (relishing!) yogurt that is "passion fruit" flavored

the whole enterprise makes me look at myself and wonder how things could have gone so wrong
and yogurt isn't supposed to do that

Untt (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2013 13:25 (seven years ago) link

would always complain about me "not getting it"

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1203864/that-s-what-she-said-o.gif

pplains, Friday, 11 October 2013 13:57 (seven years ago) link

anytime I'm waiting in line and I catch the eye of the employee that's helping someone else, because they invariably say "I'll be with you in a moment sir" as if they think I'm looking at them impatiently and then I feel bad because really my eyes were just wandering around the room, and I looked at them by chance.

Neanderthal, Friday, 11 October 2013 14:00 (seven years ago) link

ah yeah me too, also "sorry for the wait" because I have bitchy resting face so they think I'm really pissed off while I'm just standing there

kinder, Friday, 11 October 2013 16:32 (seven years ago) link

http://flavorwire.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/uncle-leo.jpg

nickn, Friday, 11 October 2013 21:24 (seven years ago) link

I have signed up to the Guardian subscription thing where you pay by direct debit and they send you a booklet of coupons that you exchange for the Guardian in newsagents, but feel irrationally embarrassed every time I leave a shop with a newspaper having given the assistant a piece of paper rather than actual money.

xp passionfruit chobani is also my favourite chobani of all. maybe it seems unshameful to me because i have a defiant vanilla rice pudding habit which has been going on daily for some years now and which i can't see me stopping ever.

estela, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:10 (seven years ago) link

See, that's the one I don't like not because of taste (it tastes great), but because of the seeds.

That Guardian thing sounds like all of the hassle of using a coupon without the benefits of a coupon.

pplains, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:17 (seven years ago) link

Well, it's cheaper than it would otherwise be. But I always think that everyone who sees me paying for the newspaper with the coupon immediately hates me for it, maybe that's me being paranoid (or maybe they already hated you anyway etc)

are they dignified-looking little pieces of paper or are they a bunch of old tat.

estela, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:23 (seven years ago) link

At my work they are running a promotion in the canteen where you can download a code on you mobile phone to get a discount off your purchase, which has the effect of making every transaction take twice as long as it otherwise would as people search for their phones in their bag/waive their phone around trying to get a signal etc and I get so mad at these people making me late off my break when I only want to buy a mars bar because they're spending 5 hours dicking around with their mobile so they can get 30p off their fucking baked potato or whatever, and I'm concerned this is what the other people in the newsagents feel towards me, but maybe other people are not as irritable as I am.

coupons are great fuck the haters

swmp thing (wins), Friday, 11 October 2013 23:30 (seven years ago) link

lolll @ shobani

anonymous jazz majors (Matt P), Friday, 11 October 2013 23:31 (seven years ago) link

They are quite dignified looking I suppose. They have my name printed on them which I also find embarrassing, I don't want the newsagent to know my name. If I use one of them in a newsagent any distance from my home town I feel vaguely worried that someone could be using them to track my movements, but there is no plausible reason why anyone should want to do this even if they could, this is probably more 'innocuous things that make you irrationally paranoid' I suppose.

I feel just like such a feeb rooting around in my bag, taking out my little booklet of coupons, carefully tearing the coupon out so the sides don't get ragged and passing it too the newsagent, I feel like I look like exactly the kind of person who would do something like that and I'm just confirming everyone's first impression of me.
If I was watching a movie where the cool, glamorous lead bought a newspaper they would not pay for it with a coupon from a booklet.

feel like i might have to try chobani now

mookieproof, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:36 (seven years ago) link

Catch it when it's on sale for a buck. Not worth $1.25.

pplains, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:37 (seven years ago) link

Pineapple is the way to go, imho.

carl agatha, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:38 (seven years ago) link

stuff is kind of pricey iirc, also half of them have RUSTIC CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATE on the front. chobani more like menopausi

anonymous jazz majors (Matt P), Friday, 11 October 2013 23:42 (seven years ago) link

sorry

anonymous jazz majors (Matt P), Friday, 11 October 2013 23:46 (seven years ago) link

lol/otm/shame @ menopausi

If you really want the full yogurt experience though, try mixing some rose petal jam into vanilla yog of your choice. No shame in that floral-dairy game. It's delicious.

I feel like I look like exactly the kind of person who would do something like that and I'm just confirming everyone's first impression of me.
this is at the heart of this thread imo

Untt (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2013 23:46 (seven years ago) link

i worked in a bakery when i was at high school and one day my boss's wife came in and said to me, 'i saw you biking home yesterday, gosh you were really enjoying that icecream you were eating!' and i almost died of horror which turned swiftly into a burning hatred of her and her smirky face.

estela, Friday, 11 October 2013 23:57 (seven years ago) link

estella humblebraging re biking while eating ice cream imo

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Saturday, 12 October 2013 00:07 (seven years ago) link

Sorry, only one l, phone corrected.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Saturday, 12 October 2013 00:08 (seven years ago) link

i don't mind.

estela, Saturday, 12 October 2013 00:29 (seven years ago) link

I promise I didn't smirk even a little, even on the inside.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Saturday, 12 October 2013 00:53 (seven years ago) link

Podcasts that are like "radio plays." Nightvale is the most recent one I tried. People love it, it makes me cringe, and I think it's the medium rather than that one specific podcast.

Immediate Follower (NA), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 15:40 (seven years ago) link

i almost died of horror which turned swiftly into a burning hatred of her and her smirky face.

were you eating icrecream while thinking all this bet you were

unblog your plug (darraghmac), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 15:43 (seven years ago) link

almost any internet/real life crossover - if somebody quotes a funny Tweet, or tells a story that they posted on Facebook, or complains about something a mutual friend put up on Facebook or quotes a funny text somebody sent them.

is it really old-person to still feel like social media is like Fight Club?

brio, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:39 (seven years ago) link

also probably old-person to reference Fight Club I guess

brio, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:42 (seven years ago) link

i just felt a wave of embarrassment for you

Untt (La Lechera), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:43 (seven years ago) link

thanks!

brio, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 16:43 (seven years ago) link

Oh yeah. My wife wanted me to find out more information about a local police incident that occurred, and the was nothing in the news, so I hit them up on twitter. Then I had to be all like "OK, so I tweeted at the cops and they tweeted back...." I didn't feel comfortable talking out loud about the whole exchange though. I probably should have just taken a screen cap and posted it on her facebook I don't know.

how's life, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 20:06 (seven years ago) link

oh yeah I totally have that embarrassment about social media thing. Actually if I ever tell someone about something from ILX, I usually make up some bullshit about where it came from

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 21:55 (seven years ago) link

ha yeah. i have so many friends who tell me so many interesting things, i really do.

opie dead eyed piece of shit (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 15 October 2013 22:06 (seven years ago) link

Dropping anything at a social gathering that shouldn't fall, like food or even a photo that someone is passing around
Cutting up a cake wrong in front of people
Serving myself from a table at a party or gathering, however big or small, and spilling it, having to use my fingers or using the wrong utensil
Spilling anything from buffet to plate or being stuck without a serving utensil and having to think fast...I just walk away now

I don't spill a lot of food at parties but I sweat buckets serving myself...

*tera, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 04:10 (seven years ago) link

Accidentally replicating a post on ILX

*tera, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 04:12 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

FYI for La Lechera: in this week's "food issue" of the New Yorker, there's a pretty interesting profile of the guy who founded the Chobani yogurt company. It's behind the subscriber paywall online, unfortunately.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 31 October 2013 16:18 (six years ago) link

Can someone summarize this for me? I've now received 2 notifications about it and do not have subscription. I haven't had pf chobani yog in over a month, thank goodness.

sweat pea (La Lechera), Thursday, 31 October 2013 16:23 (six years ago) link

i included this chobani commercial in my persuasion prezi as an example of "people enjoy feeling satisfied and competent"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxqaFt74mRU

sweat pea (La Lechera), Thursday, 31 October 2013 20:46 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

People who publicly complain about customer service on Twitter while @-ing the corporate account. I realize this is an acceptable thing to do and often the easiest way to reach a company but I still find it embarrassing (irrationally).

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 21 November 2013 15:51 (six years ago) link

That's like 25% of my tweets!

Jeff, Thursday, 21 November 2013 16:10 (six years ago) link

I KNEW you would respond to this! Like I said, it's irrational. I know it gets results.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 21 November 2013 16:44 (six years ago) link

It can always be worse.

http://i.imgur.com/xGBgZW0.png

pplains, Thursday, 21 November 2013 16:54 (six years ago) link

My dislike/mild phobia of going to the cinema or watching movies with others makes me kinda IE. Does anyone else get this? I just hate the idea of committing to two hours of silence with a friend, I'd rather speak to them. Also I am quite likely to turn something off, if watching at home alone and it's bad, I find it a major waste of time to have to sit through something. Then there's discussing it afterwards... don't enjoy that either.

Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 28 November 2013 15:37 (six years ago) link

How you feel about people clapping at movies for director who isn't there?

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:13 (six years ago) link

Startles me to death.

pplains, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:14 (six years ago) link

My sister attributing everything she sees and does to what a [OUR SURNAME] would do.

"Ah, your son smiles when he laughs. He's definitely a Smith!"

pplains, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:17 (six years ago) link

"Enjoying some egg nog this morning, the Jones way of starting Thanksgiving!"

pplains, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:18 (six years ago) link

the clapping at the end of movies thing is really weird. I've only witnessed it twice. Once was for Bowling for Columbine which I sort of get in a "I am clapping because I agree with the statement this movie is making" kind of way, but the other time was for Star Trek, which just made me embarrassed to be in the same movie theater as these people.

silverfish, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:22 (six years ago) link

Ha, last time I was in a theater that clapped at the end was for Fahrenheit 911.

pplains, Thursday, 28 November 2013 16:25 (six years ago) link

the only time i've seen clapping in a cinema was one guy who seemingly really really enjoyed mars attacks and wanted the world to know.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 28 November 2013 21:01 (six years ago) link

Maybe he was tryin to turn the light on

30 ch'lopping days left to umas (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 November 2013 21:14 (six years ago) link

the other time was for Star Trek

me too!

and it DESERVED IT

j., Thursday, 28 November 2013 23:20 (six years ago) link

Most of the audience clapped at the end of Thor 2 last week -- surprised the hell out of me.

Servings Per Container: 736 (WilliamC), Thursday, 28 November 2013 23:32 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Any time I hear two people older than, say, 14, talking in any detail about a video game, like actually having a conversation about specific things one does or has done in a video game, or analyzing the finer points of a games strengths and weaknesses.

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Thursday, October 10, 2013 8:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Man, there was this dude on the subway tonight, maybe late 20s, and this woman who seemed to be going somewhere with him but not his gf, and the dude was fucking playing video games on his phone while talking to her, like a grown man was doing this. And he was commenting on the game, like "Argh, I really thought I was going to get a better sword from that elf. Well that's disappointing." And she was actually being really sweet and asking him questions about the game, and he was responding in that sort of mansplainy but also just pathetically dorky tone like "That's a kitanitzu -- it's a half-wolf female spirit. You can gain skills from them but you have to use three magic points -- NOT exactly a bargain in my opinion." And the whole thing just made me sad, but moreso just embarrassed.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Saturday, 14 December 2013 05:29 (six years ago) link

noises my tummy makes

*tera, Saturday, 14 December 2013 06:32 (six years ago) link

parody songs set to "carol of the bells"

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Saturday, 14 December 2013 21:47 (six years ago) link

momentary disquiet of everyone processing the same "there's delicious FOOD on the back table" email at once.

From the Album No Baby for You! (Matt P), Monday, 16 December 2013 22:26 (six years ago) link

tis the season for those emails, assuming you mean the office table

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 02:48 (six years ago) link

getting a christmas card from someone you haven't sent a christmas card to

Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 09:33 (six years ago) link

these faces:

is there something about singing a capella that makes people involuntarily pull these kind of faces, or is it an aesthetic choice, or a combination of the two?

(not taking a swipe btw, I love a capella singing and a lot Penatonix's videos are pretty great if you don't look at their awful faces)

wooting does not count as being active. (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 12:13 (six years ago) link

loving Hurting's video game story

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 12:18 (six years ago) link

I can't remember the last time I sent a christmas card.

Jeff, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 12:51 (six years ago) link

every christmas card i get is from someone i have not sent a christmas card to
this year i have received 3

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 14:51 (six years ago) link

I enjoy the Christmas cards we still get for the people who previously lived at this address. There's this one Mormon family from some place like Judeh Mount, Utah, that always includes an updated family portrait. The mom and the daughters are pretty in that blond, starry-eyed, gonna-get-a-new-planet-when-I-die way, but the dad and the three sons all look like they've been hit in the face with a shovel.

pplains, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:12 (six years ago) link

loving Hurting's video game story

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, December 17, 2013 7:18 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

marcos, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:29 (six years ago) link

That poor girl.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:32 (six years ago) link

That blonde dude with the giant head eye-fucking the camera in the video zachlyon posted will haunt me until I die.

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:32 (six years ago) link

"NOT exactly a bargain in my opinion" chortle chortle

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:33 (six years ago) link

She was kind of cute too, and he wasn't a bad looking guy either, looked like he could otherwise dress and take care of himself etc. I was like "Dude, you are blowing it! And by "it" I don't just mean this moment, but life in general!"

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:40 (six years ago) link

JFTR not that I'm defending anyone or anything here but there are plenty of women who are just as hardcore/tendentious/choose yr adjective about gaming. I obvs wan't there but wouldn't take for granted that she wasn't genuinely interested.

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 15:50 (six years ago) link

I know there are, but it was pretty clear that this wasn't one of those cases

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:24 (six years ago) link

Everyone has witnessed a variation on this scene at some point in their lives, right? I have clear memories of being in the Manchester HMV and catching part of lecture about various sub-genres of prog rock that this guy was delivering to a girl he was with.

wooting does not count as being active. (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:38 (six years ago) link

Uh huh.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:48 (six years ago) link

If by "witnessed" you mean "lived...over and over and over."

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:48 (six years ago) link

yeah, duh!
lol "witnessed"

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:50 (six years ago) link

amen, every aspect of pedantic music trivia conversations tend to make me feel embarrassed, whether I'm part of the conversation or just an unwilling witness

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:56 (six years ago) link

I'm only willing to engage in this way if I feel comfortable that the other people in the conversation are equally excited about music nerdery

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:57 (six years ago) link

Yeah, part of what's embarrassing is the immaturity of it, and part of it is as a subset of the larger trait of being oblivious to what would or wouldn't be interesting to the person you're talking to.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:59 (six years ago) link

If by "witnessed" you mean "lived...over and over and over."

― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, December 17, 2013 11:48 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, I'm so sorry, I feel like I finally understand now

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 16:59 (six years ago) link

:D

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:02 (six years ago) link

** makes mental note not to talk about Star Wars if he ever attends a FAP **

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:03 (six years ago) link

I feel like terror of being one these people is a big part of what puts me off having conversations with people/socialising.

wooting does not count as being active. (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:06 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kjoUjOHjPI#t=18

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:07 (six years ago) link

I'm an overexplainer myself and I like to learn things, so early on with someone sometimes I'm like, "Keep going. I may or may not be kind of laughing at you but it's nice to see you feeling smart/in your element" which tbh is how I would like my over-explaining to be perceived by a loved one: fondly. But over time you see that it never goes both ways.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:08 (six years ago) link

From my perspective it's fine as long as you can catch and laugh at yourself! And accept being laughed at when you misstep, and join in, and also let it be the other person's turn too.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:10 (six years ago) link

That family video is horrifying. Jesus.

Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:14 (six years ago) link

That family video is horrifying Jesus.

Mark G, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:15 (six years ago) link

"Keep going. I may or may not be kind of laughing at you but it's nice to see you feeling smart/in your element"
omg girl someone says ^^^ to me = total nightmare!! it's more or less what that guy was doing when i was talking about my drums and it made me feel enraged!

also i don't think casually talking about music or art you like is immature -- behaving in a thoughtless way (por ejemplo going on when the person you are talking to is visibly bored) -- is immature.

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:17 (six years ago) link

xpost

the actual jammies are probably the least embarrassing aspect of that video.

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:21 (six years ago) link

right exactly.

I'm a recovering overexplainer myself. TBF I also really like asking people about their things and trying to understand them - e.g. I ask H a ton of questions about her school and the way the classroom runs and the politics of the school and ed policy, I find it all fascinating.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:22 (six years ago) link

xp Welllll I like to think it's different when done with love and acceptance of the whole person, as opposed to seeing them as some kind of object/pwecious tweasure. But I know you hate that.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:22 (six years ago) link

OTOH I've pretty much given up on trying to discuss the intricacies of my work with her. I think they'd bore most people outside the legal or financial worlds tbh. Even bore me a lot of the time.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:24 (six years ago) link

Yes, there is nothing interesting about me describing what I do for a living and I feel sorry for anyone who tries to get into that conversation with me.

Then again, I have an aunt who got it into her head that I'm the "IT guy" at my work and get endless calls from people needing help fixing their computers, which is extremely far from the truth, but she kept asking me at Thanksgiving if I was getting pestered with IT calls. Didn't have the heart to say "nope, that's not at all what I do for a living."

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:28 (six years ago) link

Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:30 (six years ago) link

I try to play up the *point* of what I do, which has a semi public interest bent to it even though it's for profit. But I don't like overplaying that either, because it feels self-aggrandizing, and ultimately we're still a business.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:31 (six years ago) link

If I was CEO of JPM that'd be my strategy as well.

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:41 (six years ago) link

yeah, the point of what I do is pretty zzzzzzzzz....

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:42 (six years ago) link

Christmas cards that are those newsletter type updates on what's been happening with the family for the last year make me irrationally embarrassed

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:48 (six years ago) link

btw that video that Tracer posted is not innocuous at all, all four of those people should be on the guillotine, yes the kids included

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:50 (six years ago) link

The holderness family is like kinda fun but mostly braggin

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 17:56 (six years ago) link

I feel so sorry for those kids, especially the girl as she looks like she's just about old enough to realise that her role here is to be laughed at in patronising way, but not old enough to tell her parents to get tae fuck.

wooting does not count as being active (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:10 (six years ago) link

Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."

OMG somebody at a party asked me (I thought sincerely) about workers' comp law so I told her alllll about it and she for real said, "I have to go talk to somebody about something now" and walked away from me like mid sentence.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:25 (six years ago) link

Professions kind of have their own languages, and after you spend years learning the language you kind of forget that you are speaking a language not everyone speaks.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:29 (six years ago) link

Also, boring.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:30 (six years ago) link

I really like hearing details about what other people's jobs. Like how do mail routes work? What is the lingo? What does an operations manager at a financial firm actually do on a typical day? What constitutes a good day or bad day for him or her? What is the lingo?

disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:35 (six years ago) link

A friend of mine became a USPS delivery person, and I only asked him, oh, about 9000 questions about his job until finally he was all, look, I'd really like to watch this Super Bowl game now, ok?

pplains, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:37 (six years ago) link

I was working hard to make my discussion accessible and not dork out too much. She was just being polite when she asked and didn't actually want to hear about it. I'm usually really good at picking up on how people want to converse but I missed her signals completely.

xp me, too, actually. I ask cab drivers about their work arrangements all the time. I think it comes from being an L&E lawyer (though I think I was drawn to L&E bc I've always been fascinated with work).

carl agatha, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:37 (six years ago) link

That was also one of my fave things about my comp job - learning about people's jobs. Like did you know there is a manufacturing concern in central IL that just makes lids for various beverage containers? And a job someone has is to QA those lids.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:39 (six years ago) link

xxp I bet I can talk to you about digital marketing and the newswire industry for up to 45 seconds before you wander away uninterested. Nobody can make this stuff interesting, and if they can, I fear for their immortal souls.

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:43 (six years ago) link

I'd appreciate five minutes on it, I think.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:50 (six years ago) link

That was also one of my fave things about my comp job - learning about people's jobs. Like did you know there is a manufacturing concern in central IL that just makes lids for various beverage containers?

I DO know this and maybe we talked about it? I had to deal with someone at that (or similar?) company for work. Our work lives intersected at a lids concern.

disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 19:00 (six years ago) link

one of the things I've learned as an adult is that when people are enthusiastic about something, it is much more interesting to hear them speak about it. so if someone enjoys their job or family or whatever, it might be worth your time to converse about it because the enthusiasm is what makes the conversation a lot more than the topic

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 19:12 (six years ago) link

people who are enthusiastic and lucid about something i have little interest in are sometimes the best! i find listening to people like that incredibly relaxing, somehow.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 19:22 (six years ago) link

innocuous things that make you irrationally chill

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 19:23 (six years ago) link

people who are enthusiastic and lucid about something i have little interest in are sometimes the best! i find listening to people like that incredibly relaxing, somehow.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, December 17, 2013 1:22 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That sounds great! Let me tell you about someone I'm enthusiastic about - Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

pplains, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 20:11 (six years ago) link

Haha -- mmmm tell me more about configuring Bloomberg software while I rest my eyes.

xp

disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 20:13 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6TeDM-wlZ4

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 20:15 (six years ago) link

<3 BB

Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 20:15 (six years ago) link

so I was just perusing Facebook and I saw that a friend of a friend posted the very same Xmas Jammies video and that my friend commented on it "Now that's a MILF!!!!!"

So add one more layer of embarassment onto this whole debacle.

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:46 (six years ago) link

and of course there's the generalized level of embarassment for humanity at large...

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:46 (six years ago) link

lol

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:47 (six years ago) link

she is kinda ws of shame tbf

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:48 (six years ago) link

I kind of wanted to post a mean comment on it on youtube, but idk, it's still some dude's family video. Would feel too icky.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:50 (six years ago) link

plus he's an ilxor, we gotta stand by him

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:51 (six years ago) link

wait...really?

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:52 (six years ago) link

I just assumed that was pretty much what all ilxor's families were like

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:54 (six years ago) link

lol

an enormous bolus of flatulence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 21:55 (six years ago) link

the youtube comments seem to be about 60% people saying the video is cute and awesome, 30% people saying they want to have sex with the mom and 10% people angrily declaring their hatred of the family

wooting does not count as being active (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:07 (six years ago) link

why not have all three?

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:10 (six years ago) link

I sent this to my coworkers all 'wtf this is the worst thing ever' - of my five coworkers only 2 of them hated it, the rest were all 'LOL OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER AHAHAHA'

humanity is doomed

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:28 (six years ago) link

p sure that is neither the worst thing ever nor the best thing ever, though definitely located closer on the spectrum to the former.

an enormous bolus of flatulence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:30 (six years ago) link

I don't think I love it or hate it, embarrassment is drowning out all other potential responses

wooting does not count as being active (soref), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:33 (six years ago) link

Despite my general disdain for triathletes, I didn't mind that video.

Jeff, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:48 (six years ago) link

_Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."_

OMG somebody at a party asked me (I thought sincerely) about workers' comp law so I told her alllll about it and she for real said, "I have to go talk to somebody about something now" and walked away from me like mid sentence.

I remember this fondly.

Jeff, Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:49 (six years ago) link

uh oh, I feel an embarrassing poll coming on

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:50 (six years ago) link

Ha, when people ask me about my job, I literally say, "It's really boring and we're better off discussing something YOU want to talk about."

I work for an NGO for people with an unfortunate disease, and when I have to explain where I work I almost always get 'Oh, I didn't know you had [unfortunate disease]!', and they back away, and I have to be all, 'No, I don't, not that there's anything wrong with that, I just work there!'

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:18 (six years ago) link

i am not one for lolling about unfortunate diseases but that made me lol.

estela, Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:22 (six years ago) link

fuiud

Bigsam: flotsam and jetsam @ whetsam? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:26 (six years ago) link

wait did they seriously name their kids lola and penn

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:30 (six years ago) link

xpost lol!! my mum was an office admin for a "herd improvement" company ie artificial insemination of cows. ppl would ask what my mum did and I'd say she's an office admin and they'd say where and I'd tell them - I would get these crazy looks like YOUR MOM DOES WHAT NOW and have to say nonnono she just works in the office, like everyone was picturing my mom with her arm halfway up a cow

city ppl also have much crazier reactions that country ppl fyi
farm ppl just go oh ok

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:32 (six years ago) link

I am more embarrassed by the reaction that people have when they learn I'm a SOFTWARE DEVELOPER. It's an indicator that no matter how reasonable I was in conversation, I'm going to become a complete socially-incapable nerdo any second.

mh, Wednesday, 18 December 2013 01:47 (six years ago) link

embarrassed for them, that is

mh, Wednesday, 18 December 2013 01:47 (six years ago) link

when I get notified that facebook friends "like" really banal things like Target

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 17:05 (six years ago) link

Haha, yes! "Joe Schmoe and 10 more of your friends like Wal-Mart!" *sticks head in oven*

Ian from Etobicoke (Phil D.), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 17:14 (six years ago) link

otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 17:16 (six years ago) link

Eh it just means they've signed on for a contest probably.

Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 18 December 2013 17:17 (six years ago) link

^^ yeah or they were tricked by some promo thing or they had to do it for some reason or another for an app or w/e, or they're old people who want to complain to targetcorp

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:17 (six years ago) link

I just love Target so much

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:23 (six years ago) link

Don't you guys like their dog mascot, and the fact they're based in good oil' Minneapolis?

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 05:24 (six years ago) link

i like all kinds of mundane corporate crap, the knowledge that i'm now flooding my friends' facebook feeds w/ stuff like 'james likes stouffer's *huge ad for stouffers party size macaroni and cheese*' only encourages it tbh.

balls, Thursday, 19 December 2013 06:09 (six years ago) link

'balls likes stauffer's' will never get old tho

mookieproof, Thursday, 19 December 2013 06:19 (six years ago) link

Halliburton
49,244 likes · 834 talking about this

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Thursday, 19 December 2013 06:26 (six years ago) link

People who clap on the wrong beat

Josefa, Thursday, 19 December 2013 06:32 (six years ago) link

Facebook Password Recovery Forum

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 19 December 2013 10:24 (six years ago) link

Coupons or offers contingent on sharing something on social media annoy me. I would love a 20% off coupon, but must I share your restaurant on twitter or Facebook to get it?

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 13:38 (six years ago) link

You could always set up a fake account to scoop up such offers.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 19 December 2013 13:46 (six years ago) link

then they send you a bunch of fake coupons OH SNAP.

pplains, Thursday, 19 December 2013 14:48 (six years ago) link

:(

mh, Thursday, 19 December 2013 15:41 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

i found a new kind of passion fruit yogurt so i don't need to buy chobani unless i am in a passion fruit yogurt emergency.

now you know!

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 21:34 (six years ago) link

do you still call it "chobani time?"

mh, Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:01 (six years ago) link

only if i'm trying to make myself feel bad

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:35 (six years ago) link

aww :(

mh, Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:36 (six years ago) link

Hahaha. Is there a special song for Chobani Time?

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:44 (six years ago) link

god, no! it's just an alarm that goes off in my head when i feel the shame of eating chobani brand yogurt, like an air raid siren.

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:44 (six years ago) link

THinking of passion fruit I just made a bread with pineapple & passion fruit juice not from concentrate as the liquid element. Wondering if I'm making things too sweet but just come across this new non-concentrate juice in ALDI this week. May be in there all the time but I'm not so it's new to me.

Stevolende, Wednesday, 15 January 2014 22:50 (six years ago) link

a by-product of this thread is that i now cannot pass by the chobani section of the supermarket without thinking fondly of la lechera.

estela, Wednesday, 15 January 2014 23:05 (six years ago) link

Yogurt itself is actually a thing that makes me kind of irrationally embarrassed, come to think of it. I like it but never eat it in public. Maybe it's that "not manly" connotation.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 23:09 (six years ago) link

estela otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 23:16 (six years ago) link

I eat yogurt every morning at my desk at work. My manager dropped by my desk one day when I was eating coconut Chobani, and I got the distinct feeling he wasn't comfortable with the whole situation and was silently judging me. Maybe I'm just paranoid...

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:32 (six years ago) link

Of course, this is the same manager who informed that most men would be uncomfortable driving a mazda because they aren't manly cars. I guess my parents or whoever just forgot to give me any manliness advice when I was growing up, so I tend to make these social faux pas without really caring too much.

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:35 (six years ago) link

I think he's thinking of the Miata, which gets some guff as a girly little car, but it's actually a traditionally-styled casual sports car, unlike the overcompensating muscle cars of late americana

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:42 (six years ago) link

mazda 3 pretty sweet imo

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:43 (six years ago) link

Pretty sure he meant mazdas, which struck me as strange as that's a particular brand I'd never heard mentioned in a gendered context

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:44 (six years ago) link

pistons are for tough guys, wankels for the fey

mookieproof, Thursday, 16 January 2014 00:58 (six years ago) link

For sure.

Anyway, the lesson I've learned from all this is that I'm not particularly embarrassed to engage in unmanly activities, but I get extremely embarrassed to have to discuss such a topic. Embarrassed for the person who'd bring it up, that is.

Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:04 (six years ago) link

a by-product of this thread is that i now cannot pass by the chobani section of the supermarket without thinking fondly of la lechera.

or the whole dairy section as a whole, amirite.

pplains, Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:08 (six years ago) link

literal these days, we are

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:10 (six years ago) link

last time i offered some wry commentary on that username, it related to breast-feeding.

so I feel like I'm pulling toward the right direction, at least.

pplains, Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:21 (six years ago) link

omg geez
the Nestle company thanks you

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:31 (six years ago) link

I previously shared this image with LL and I believe her comment was how mortifying it would be to be standing in this line
http://i.imgur.com/TEuywr2.jpg

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:53 (six years ago) link

a nice blue tho

mookieproof, Thursday, 16 January 2014 01:57 (six years ago) link

GO REAL

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:09 (six years ago) link

I eat yogurt every morning at my desk at work. My manager dropped by my desk one day when I was eating coconut Chobani, and I got the distinct feeling he wasn't comfortable with the whole situation and was silently judging me. Maybe I'm just paranoid...

― Ornate Coleman (Moodles), Wednesday, January 15, 2014 7:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I make fancy pour-over coffee in my office that I bring in, along with one other dude. I still always feel absurdly embarrassed whenever I explain it to anyone, and I definitely get funny looks from older guys in the office.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:17 (six years ago) link

who gives a shit

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:20 (six years ago) link

activia will make you.

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 16 January 2014 02:23 (six years ago) link

1. There's been a Chobani (blueberry) in my work fridge for a week or so. I'm pretty sure it belongs to the laid-back dad-dude sports fan partner. I've only ever seen him consume Diet Coke and yogurt, but the Chobani is a new development.

2. On some thread LL said something along the lines of "I've had a stressful day and I need some Chobani time" and it made me snortol and want to give her a hug.

Je55e, Thursday, 16 January 2014 05:37 (six years ago) link

aw

mookieproof, Thursday, 16 January 2014 05:46 (six years ago) link

Carl and I were on the train on the way to a Star Trek convention, we were sitting behind this guy eating yogurt. After finishing he proceeded to lick the cup to get the last remnants of yogurt out.

I eat yogurt all the time at my desk at work. No shame. But I don't like the cup.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 January 2014 12:43 (six years ago) link

Do you lick the lid?

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 16 January 2014 12:49 (six years ago) link

I'm not a lid licker.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 January 2014 13:40 (six years ago) link

Eyeball Kicks wants to know if you're a lid-licker

o_O

mh, Thursday, 16 January 2014 14:47 (six years ago) link

LL, were you aware of Chobani Champion Tubes?

http://chobanichampions.com/addons/themes/chobani_champions/images/site/products/product/tubes/jammin-strawberry-lg.png

I bought a lot of them before my tonsillectomy and they keep popping up, e.g. I found one today in the fridge at work.

Je55e, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:30 (six years ago) link

the tube of a champion

Evil Juice Box Man (Moodles), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:35 (six years ago) link

though really it would've been better if they were champion tubs

Evil Juice Box Man (Moodles), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:35 (six years ago) link

wow that is so gross! i don't like food that is squeezed into the mouth.

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:36 (six years ago) link

to be fair, they aren't the first company to market squeezable yogurt tubes by a long shot, although the ones I've seen are mostly marketed to children

Evil Juice Box Man (Moodles), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:50 (six years ago) link

you mean Champions

gogurt is one of the grossest snacks i have ever watched a child consume

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:51 (six years ago) link

like technicolor mayonnaise

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 19:51 (six years ago) link

Having learned to enjoy good plain yogurt, actually, I find the prevalance of super-sweet yogurts and the difficulty of finding good unsweetened yogurt to be really sad for America

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:03 (six years ago) link

Like this for example, goddamn:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-zrYsfp6mZo/TIHFqRpHeQI/AAAAAAAACps/EBASV7xS6jE/s400/IMG_0950.JPG

but expensive and only available at ultra-bougie stores. OTOH if I go a little out of my way the Israeli grocery has a lot of options.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:05 (six years ago) link

I open this thread for the first time in like a year and you guys are still talking about yoghurt. Have you been talking about yoghurt this whole time?

chekhprivan (wins), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:06 (six years ago) link

those yogurt tubes, so much cringing

mh, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:14 (six years ago) link

you're still putting the yogurt in your mouth, right? why do you need a tube, it is a mystery

mh, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:15 (six years ago) link

kids like tubes

I guess today's kids, once they are adults, might still like tubed food

silverfish, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:45 (six years ago) link

In the Year 2025, if man and woman are still alive...

pplains, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:51 (six years ago) link

To every food
tube tube tube

carl agatha, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 20:53 (six years ago) link

Give me convenience or give me death.

nickn, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:40 (six years ago) link

I'm IE at the idea that knee-high black socks is an acceptable look in gym/workout clothes.

channel 9's meaty urologist (WilliamC), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:47 (six years ago) link

Are they compression socks?

Jeff, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:49 (six years ago) link

Having learned to enjoy good plain yogurt, actually, I find the prevalance of super-sweet yogurts and the difficulty of finding good unsweetened yogurt to be really sad for America

― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, January 22, 2014 3:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fucking totally, so much sugar in that crap, marketed as a health food. whole milk plain yogurt is delicious and surprisingly hard to find. i scoured the entire yogurt section and everything is super sugary lowfat or nonfat yogurt. also the single-serving containers are fucking ripoff, like a $1.20 for 6 or 8 oz of yogurt.

stonyfield organics makes a pretty good whole milk, full fat, unsweetened yogurt, they sell them for like $2.50 or $3 for a large container, it's a good deal. whole foods 365 brand is even cheaper. you don't have to spend a lot.

marcos, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:50 (six years ago) link

http://www.kalonasupernatural.com/

I still like these quite a bit. I still miss their horribly-picked original name for their yogurt line: "Cultural Revolution"

mh, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:53 (six years ago) link

Jeff, I don't think so! Just young people wearing tall dark socks I associate with old men with metal detectors on the beach in Florida.

channel 9's meaty urologist (WilliamC), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 21:55 (six years ago) link

if it's long black socks on a man wearing shorts I think about this old man who used to jog along a local street in short shorts and dress socks

I got some nice dri-fit black socks that are long, but I mostly wear them with correspondingly long workout pants

mh, Wednesday, 22 January 2014 22:04 (six years ago) link

i've seen men in shorts and black socks who looked pretty cute, but i think they would have looked cute regardless (sort of like the cute girl with a bad haircut is still cute)

i'm never talking about yogurt again if i can help it
it's too embarrassing

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 22:12 (six years ago) link

stonyfield is not bad but I prefer more tart. I will say Costco in my area sells this "indian style" yogurt (although I can't tell what's particularly indian style other than being marketed probably to local indian communities) that's plain, full-fat, and like $4 for the biggest tub I have ever seen.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 22:21 (six years ago) link

You mean the biggest tube, right?

Evil Juice Box Man (Moodles), Thursday, 23 January 2014 00:48 (six years ago) link

I get enormous 5 pound containers of plain yogurt from the Indian store around the corner, probably $4.99, don't remember exactly.

Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy (doo dah), Thursday, 23 January 2014 01:52 (six years ago) link

Tubes of yog are weird but what gets me is "Chobani CHAMPIONS TUBES"

But I drained at least two and a half boxes of those tubes without shame b/c they were easy on my flayed and cauterized throat scabs.

Je55e, Thursday, 23 January 2014 05:42 (six years ago) link

Trader joe's European style yoghurt is pretty good and not at all sweet. It tastes like yoghurt should in my book.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Thursday, 23 January 2014 05:46 (six years ago) link

Yes, that was actually our go-to brand when we did more shopping at Trader Joes, we just never make it there now.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, 23 January 2014 12:31 (six years ago) link

damn it, Je55e, I thought I'd removed that picture of your throat scabs from my memory but it just came back

mh, Thursday, 23 January 2014 14:44 (six years ago) link

Yeah me too. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Looked like a rotten stuffed olive!

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Thursday, 23 January 2014 15:01 (six years ago) link

The throat olive of a CHAMPION.

mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Thursday, 23 January 2014 15:01 (six years ago) link

adams olive

brownie, Thursday, 23 January 2014 15:17 (six years ago) link

now I'm embarrassed all over again

Evil Juice Box Man (Moodles), Thursday, 23 January 2014 15:43 (six years ago) link

I won't post a picture, but I am taking requests for emailed pics of my scabby goozle.

Je55e, Thursday, 23 January 2014 19:10 (six years ago) link

nah, I'll stick with the one where you're mugging next to a raccoon

mh, Thursday, 23 January 2014 19:13 (six years ago) link

I only posted that b/c I wanted to say "scabby goozle."

Je55e, Thursday, 23 January 2014 19:15 (six years ago) link

oh, we know

mh, Thursday, 23 January 2014 19:20 (six years ago) link

people proselytizing on street corners/public places make me irrationally embarrassed — not for myself but for them — in some a sympathetic "stop drawing so much attention to yourself!" kind of way. i'm not sure if it's totally innocuous.

clouds, Sunday, 26 January 2014 15:54 (six years ago) link

some

clouds, Sunday, 26 January 2014 15:55 (six years ago) link

ppl begging celebrities/enormous corporations/really anyone to follow them on social media

mookieproof, Thursday, 30 January 2014 20:41 (six years ago) link

group sing-alongs - mostly stuff like happy birthday etc in smaller groups. but also hymns, fight songs, etc.

condo associations are people my friend (will), Thursday, 30 January 2014 20:45 (six years ago) link

just purchased passion-fruit chobani at the grocery store, but i don't think i'm ready to eat it yet

mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 00:42 (six years ago) link

haaaaaaaa

it is so delicious, that's the worst part
lately i have been buying the big containers of plain yog and adding my own flavors and it's turning out pretty well. rose petal jam + lemon curd was way better than any commercially purchased yogurt INCLUDING passion fruit chobani

god even writing that sentence i felt embarrassed (ashamed more like) for myself
enjoy your yogurt

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 00:46 (six years ago) link

weddings and wedding photography

drash, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 02:47 (six years ago) link

speaking of which, "passion fruit"

although I am not entirely convinced that there actually exists such a fruit

Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 03:52 (six years ago) link

you can call it maracuyá if you want

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 04:04 (six years ago) link

or lilikoi -- my daughter got me a jar of lililoi jam for Christmas from an Etsy seller from Hawaii, gooood stuff.

330,003 Luftballons (WilliamC), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 04:31 (six years ago) link

Can't do the seeds in that yoghurt, they creep me out

Spaghetti Sauce Shampoo (Moodles), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 04:34 (six years ago) link

the phrase 'big ideas'

j., Wednesday, 5 February 2014 05:20 (six years ago) link

An ex-friend of mine used to use that to imply someone was overweight. "he's got big ideas..."

kinder, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 08:55 (six years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/V6DOYSk.png

pplains, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 14:45 (six years ago) link

word to dwell.com for not falling into that

mh, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 14:56 (six years ago) link

Yeah, they could've gone for "Big Spaces in Small Places," and I wouldn't have minded.

pplains, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 15:00 (six years ago) link

It's their secret weapon, they grease their skis with Chobani to help them go faster.

Spaghetti Sauce Shampoo (Moodles), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 17:21 (six years ago) link

@DoucheyCNNJourno The "greek yogurt" at this hotel sucks!

Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 17:28 (six years ago) link

soon chobani will just be the official sponsor of the olympics and we've to start calling them the chobani bowl and that's when we'll be certain that the end is nigh

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 17:28 (six years ago) link

http://imgur.com/kpJpHO6

his eye is on the sbarro (unregistered), Saturday, 15 February 2014 04:16 (six years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/kpJpHO6.jpg

his eye is on the sbarro (unregistered), Saturday, 15 February 2014 04:16 (six years ago) link

chobani instead of...oil?

Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Saturday, 15 February 2014 05:02 (six years ago) link

why didn't we think of it before

worthless lucubrations w/ ill-concealed apathy bro (zachlyon), Saturday, 15 February 2014 05:03 (six years ago) link

learned english too good, know all kinds of words that aren't 'chobani'

j., Saturday, 15 February 2014 05:27 (six years ago) link

@allyzay
Genuinely just emailed the cafeteria downstairs at work to ask them why they don't have Fage 2% and only have Fage 0% so kill me now.

mookieproof, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 20:54 (six years ago) link

Haaaah

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 21:00 (six years ago) link

imagining a deep-fryer full of bubbling chobani

Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 21:01 (six years ago) link

those seeds I just can't do

Spaghetti Sauce Shampoo (Moodles), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 22:09 (six years ago) link

http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/images/van-mirror-patrol-face-440.jpg

"Yeah, I filled it up with Chobani instead of oil and it just died by the side of the road. I can't figure it out."

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 19 February 2014 15:55 (six years ago) link

hahahahha!

goddamn yogurt

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Wednesday, 19 February 2014 16:38 (six years ago) link

When a fictional character is shown to be a tech expert or nerd by spouting a bunch of jargon.

Especially when the "jargon" is pretty commonplace, like "ethernet" or "20 gigabyte solid state hard drive."

But what makes me cringe to death is when another character responds to the fairly accessible not-really-jargon with, "OK now in English, please?"

Je55e, Wednesday, 26 February 2014 20:10 (six years ago) link

shopping for anything at petsmart, or any pet-focused retailer
i just want to get my minimal stuff and leave in peace, i don't want to "spoil my pet/animal child" or have a pet stuff buying experience. i just want to get in and out and be completely invisible
this should be easy but i can't escape without at least a moment of pure shame/embarrassment at myself as i browse or even lay eyes on a brett michaels dog gear standee

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Friday, 7 March 2014 05:31 (six years ago) link

dogs ≠ cats, but

i still order some pet stuff online but am always haunted by I Was a Warehouse Wage Slave

mookieproof, Friday, 7 March 2014 05:40 (six years ago) link

all the local ones have cats from local animal rescue places

the nice locally-owned pet store even has a giant cat environment as part of a branch of the Animal Rescue League they host. it's a good scam, you go in expecting to buy a little food and you leave with double the food and another cat.

have a nice blood (mh), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:01 (six years ago) link

A petstore in our old neighborhood had a store parrot that hung out by the register. It was actually kind of gross because the owner was halfassed about cleaning up after it.

carl agatha, Friday, 7 March 2014 16:06 (six years ago) link

this store has one of those, too! he's cranky.

have a nice blood (mh), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:06 (six years ago) link

Got into a brief discussion of DeBlasio/Charter Schools with a co-worker and then the boss walked in and I really, really wanted to stop talking about it, but the co-worker sort of obliviously kept going. Pretty soon the boss chimed in, and of course he's very pro-charter, which I am not. I HAAAATE talking politics with a boss.

james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:10 (six years ago) link

i just want to get my minimal stuff and leave in peace, i don't want to "spoil my pet/animal child" or have a pet stuff buying experience. i just want to get in and out and be completely invisible

Ugh, this. I always bring my dog, because he loves car rides, and loves sniffing around the store, but the counterperson always fusses over him and gives him a treat DON'T GIVE HIM A TREAT, HE HAS A SENSITIVE STOMACH, PLEASE DON'T yeah, thanks, now he'll be puking.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:19 (six years ago) link

that's a legit gripe! it does feel slightly better with the dog in tow but i wish people there were not trained/required to be so extremely helpful. it's embarrassing for everyone and paradoxically inhumane.

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:25 (six years ago) link

pet stores populated with people who use phrases like "fur kids"

have a nice blood (mh), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:28 (six years ago) link

que horror

we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:31 (six years ago) link

Yeah, sometimes I can catch it in time, and sometimes it's a counterperson who recognizes my dog and knows he can't have a treat, but too often they're waving something baconesque in his face before I can stop them.

xp

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 7 March 2014 16:36 (six years ago) link

i find it horrifying when ppl don't ask first before giving your dog food, ESPECIALLY a petstore employee who should def know better!!!! my boss' stupid husband did two stupid things at a staff lunch: a) gave food to my dog while we were sitting and eating our meals - a habit i REALLY don't want to encourage, bc we've trained her not to beg while we're eating b) gave her a goddamn grape without asking. grapes are toxic, you dick! which you'd know if you asked first, like a normal person!

just1n3, Friday, 7 March 2014 18:35 (six years ago) link

My glasses keep sliding down my nose, but irrational embarrassment seized me in the opticians' and made me say "yes that's a lot better, thank you" once already and a combination of same + laziness is preventing me from going back

(perhaps this is one for an imaginary "minor but irrational bursts of social anxiety" thread. or perhaps I can work myself up to irrational anger that you spend £200 on much the same amount of material that my long-sighted mother can buy in the form of reading glasses for £2.99 from a corner shop but if you want the slightest adjustment the staff are all "WELLLLL" *inhales audibly*)

the ghosts of dead pom-bears (a passing spacecadet), Saturday, 8 March 2014 16:29 (six years ago) link

I get irrationally embarrassed if I make a mistake while ordering at a fast food place.

Neanderthal, Saturday, 8 March 2014 16:55 (six years ago) link

There are a couple places in the Loop in Chicago (Panda Express is one) where you have to be ON POINT when ordering otherwise it feels like you've triggered a chain reaction that will bring down Western society. The first couple times I went there (w/ the very helpful carl agatha) my heart rate went way up and I fucked up and felt like a pariah. Just thinking about ordering there makes me sit up straighter.

Je55e, Saturday, 8 March 2014 17:52 (six years ago) link

Haha those were some stressful lunches.

carl agatha, Saturday, 8 March 2014 17:57 (six years ago) link

I could go for some orange chicken though.

carl agatha, Saturday, 8 March 2014 17:57 (six years ago) link

Killing a thread
Repeating myself on a thread
Misspelling anything on a thread
Fucking up a photo or quote on a thread
Not changing my HTML to BBcode on a thread

*tera, Sunday, 9 March 2014 00:32 (six years ago) link

I am always embarrassed around people in costumes. I am especially embarrassed by people wearing full-body costumes.

I learned today that I am horribly embarrassed by the ostensibly hot girls in front of the car wash, who just look like little kids trying on make-up for the first time. Except that instead of makeup, they were trying on boob-maximizing attire. I was so embarrassed, either for myself or by some oddball proxy that I sped past them and nearly ran over toes in my effort to avoid their free towel-buffing,

effervescent (soda), Sunday, 9 March 2014 00:43 (six years ago) link

panda express is the worst "chinese" food i've ever had.

clouds, Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:41 (six years ago) link

and the shame i was made to feel for not being 100% sure what i wanted as soon as i stepped in line is a part of that

clouds, Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:43 (six years ago) link

correct etiquette is to try all the samples they'll offer

have a nice blood (mh), Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:44 (six years ago) link

when there's a long instrumental bit during a karaoke song, some people dance, some people goof off...I just sit there holding the mic looking away from everyone and trying to hurry the rest of the song along.

Neanderthal, Sunday, 9 March 2014 16:45 (six years ago) link

If you're ordering lunch at Panda Express in the Loop you're choosing to engage in a precise, efficient (and actually pretty simple) system that demands personal effort for group benefit. Individualism must be overcome. There is no "I" in Panda Express.

But the first time is terrifying.

Je55e, Monday, 10 March 2014 14:27 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

So they stopped carrying the small fages at our Costco (or ran out) and we switched to the Chobani 0% -- holy fuck it's good! I get "Chobani Time" now. I can't even believe this stuff is non-fat.

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:47 (six years ago) link

today I got asked at Panera if I wanted to add a pastry for 99 cents and I said "no thanks" in what I thought was a normal voice but I guess there was the hint of a smirk or something and the girl said "sorry, part of the script" and I felt embarrassed like I shut her down or somethin.

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:49 (six years ago) link

she liked you

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 04:55 (six years ago) link

or she just wanted to telegraph "I hate working here" to whoever

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 04:56 (six years ago) link

yesterday at the grocery store i consciously tried to not think about la lechera as i approached the chobani section because i like la lechera and would not wish to annoy her even invisibly at a great distance but i failed and then i lolled.

estela, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 05:09 (six years ago) link

the blood orange chobanis are the best

clouds, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:18 (six years ago) link

i failed and then i lolled

^ title of my eventual memoirs

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:21 (six years ago) link

today I got asked at Panera if I wanted to add a pastry for 99 cents and I said "no thanks" in what I thought was a normal voice but I guess there was the hint of a smirk or something and the girl said "sorry, part of the script" and I felt embarrassed like I shut her down or somethin.

― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 03:49 (9 hours ago) Permalink

There was a time when WaWa employees in New Jersey were required to ask if you would like to "upgrade to double meat" on your sandwich. I felt embarrassed for them.

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:31 (six years ago) link

Any restaurant that requires employees to holler "Welcome to Moe's!" Welcome to Jason's Deli!" "Welcome to the Burritodome!"

It's awkward for the workers, uncomfortable for the people walking in the door, distracting for the diners eating the food.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:45 (six years ago) link

I have been asked the pastry question roughly one zillion times, they are as used to excusing the question as they are asking it

a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:46 (six years ago) link

That's not innocuous! It's humiliating by its very nature -- double meat too!

I'm rightfully embarrassed that I've become synonymous with a shamefully named yogurt, but always glad to spring to mind, whatever the reason ;)

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:47 (six years ago) link

My best Panera awkward experience:
I hand over my Panera rewards card or w/e after ordering some deluxe salad
Cashier 1: "It says here you have... a free salad. Would you like to use that today?"
Me: "Sure!"
Cashier 1 to Cashier 2: "I've never seen that pop up before!"
Cashier 2: "I saw it once, but it was this lady who ordered a LOT of salads. Like she'd come in every day and eat a salad"
Me: "... uh thanks!" *salad shame*

a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:49 (six years ago) link

I no longer have to ask people who just want to buy a dust mop to also give me their personal email address, that has removed a source of embarrassment from my life.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:49 (six years ago) link

ugh

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:53 (six years ago) link

At Hollywood Video I used to have to sell people "Bundle Deals" of two popcorns, a candy, and a soda along with their rental of two new release movies. For like $1.63 more or some ridiculous price. I always spelled everything out for the customers, which was annoying and time consuming and a lot to say but many of my coworkers were like "do you want a bundle with that" or "do you want to make that a bundle"? which none of the customers understood so the employee would have to explain it anyway.

how's life, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 13:58 (six years ago) link

Have we mentioned the horror of Coldstone Creamery employees having to SING when you put money in their tip jar? So humiliating and terrible.

(They might not do that anymore. It's been a decade since I've been in a Coldstone Creamery.)

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:17 (six years ago) link

In Barnes & Noble they still ask you if you want to become a member every time you make a purchase, but with utter resignation, as though they realize they are asking if you would like to board a sinking ship.

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:25 (six years ago) link

Any restaurant that requires employees to holler "Welcome to Moe's!" Welcome to Jason's Deli!" "Welcome to the Burritodome!"

It's awkward for the workers, uncomfortable for the people walking in the door, distracting for the diners eating the food.

― pplains, Tuesday, April 29, 2014 8:45 AM (50 minutes ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e0VvHZMaTs

clouds, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:40 (six years ago) link

last week i went into a cvs and a guy who was clearly a regional manager was giving the staff a lil pep talk, which he interrupted to really intensely ask me if i needed help with anything

mookieproof, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 14:59 (six years ago) link

crazy! i feel like it's impossible to get anyone to help you at cvs. i end up walking through every aisle in the store before i can even find someone who works there

marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:02 (six years ago) link

YES CAN YOU TELL ME WHICH AISLE YOUR ENEMA KITS ARE LOCATED AND DO YOU CARRY CIRCUS PEANUTS? xp

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:02 (six years ago) link

I've likely told this story before. My yarns are about all spun.

ME: Just these guitar picks.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: Sure, let me get your name.

ME: My name? For what? I'm paying cash.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: I know. I still need your name to enter into the system.

[10-second stare down]

ME: John Smith.

MUSIC CENTER GUY: Ah! I see you've been here many times!

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:16 (six years ago) link

lmao

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:20 (six years ago) link

I got into an actual shouting match with a poor cashier at Staples because she wouldn't sell me a Snickers bar unless I gave her my telephone number.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:20 (six years ago) link

That probably goes in the irrationally angry thread, though.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:21 (six years ago) link

I also get embarrassed anytime a cashier comments on my t-shirt. without fail, anytime I wORE one of my Wu-Tang shirts at this one Shell station there were two cashiers who would see it and be all like "WU-TANG, YEAAA!!! PROTECT YA NECK, BABY! RAW LIKE COCAINE STR8 FROM BOLIVIA" and I'm all blushin as the other customers look confused, hoping he doesn't say 'AW YEA, CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME" when I hand him a ten dollah bill*

*fortunately this did not happen, one of the dudes was kinda funny tho. the toilets overflowed one night and this idiot 20-something kept walkin around dto shop and the employee yells "DON'T FUCKIN WALK IN THAT SHIT! THAT'S FUCKIN DOO DOO WATER, MAN!".

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:38 (six years ago) link

the funniest script I ever heard on a call was from a bank, maybe Wachovia (at the time) or something like that. I was calling w/ a client on a conference call and the lady answers and says:

"Good morning. My name is <redacted> and my mission is to provide you with unmatched customer service. How may I help you today?"

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:40 (six years ago) link

oh god oh god

I called my bank to get a debit card without an RFD chip (because our city's shitty new fare card readers on public transportation were debiting my checking account) and the CSR who answered asked, "How can I make you smile today?" and I was like BAAAARRRRRFFFFF

AND THEN at the end of the call after she verified that there was nothing else she could do to help me, she said, "Can you do me a favor?" and I'm like "Maaayyybeee?" and she says, "Can you smile the rest of the day for me?"

I feel gross even typing this out.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:47 (six years ago) link

I never really thought about going to a cold stone but seeing something about them having to sing horrified me so much that it guaranteed this would never happen.

A couple weeks ago I bought ice cream at the campus dairy (big ag school, have a functional dairy on campus, incredibly delicious ice cream and cheese) and usually its staffed by indifferent undergrads but this time it was like the guy who manages the place and he had that kind of slimy middle aged slick hair golf guy vibe that rubs me the wrong way. As people we paying he was asking them to yell the traditional sports team affirmation and they'd do it and all laugh about it and I started sweating.

When I paid he asked me to do the same and I said that I'm not going to do that and would just like my ice cream; he was like c'mon, no big deal and I kind of broke and gave him this spiel about how I realize there are people like him who enjoy this sort of forced jovial thing with customers and there are people like me who despise it and will go out of their way to avoid places that put me on the spot to do something I find embarrassing and he looked disgusted at me as I put headphones on and ate my ice cream while looking at my phone. Fuck that guy.

joygoat, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:18 (six years ago) link

*stands and applauds*

baked beings on toast (suzy), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:05 (six years ago) link

forced joviality with trader joe's checkers is becoming the bane of my irrationally embarrassment.
yesterday i got what I had hoped would be a brief exchange

hi!
hello
how's it going?
great thanks.

pause. praying for end of convo but...

so how was your weekend?
pretty good.
what did you get up to?
not a whole lot

(meanwhile I'm in my head screaming SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT)

like I like pleasantries and some general politeness but you don't have to do this, i don't expect it, i don't like it and i don't want to do this pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:09 (six years ago) link

he was like c'mon, no big deal

Oh my fucking god, I fucking hate that forced "COME ON, HAVE SOME FUN! BE LOUD! I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL, BUT I KNOW YOU LIKE FUN, WHICH IS UNIVERSALLY DEFINED AS TALKING LIKE THIS! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SHY! BEING SHY IS SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! I WILL STOP YOU FROM BEING SHY BY PHYSICAL FORCE IF NECESSARY! COME ON! FUN!" shit.

Joygoat, you are seriously my hero for standing up to that guy.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:25 (six years ago) link

xp
Coldstone also refers to their sizes by embarrassing phrases, one being "Gotta have it." I don't know if they *make* you use them but they do seem to expect it.

nickn, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 18:56 (six years ago) link

good for you, joygoat - i too will go out of my way to avoid those kinds of places bc i find that stuff mortifying. i don't even like singing happy birthday to anyone.

just1n3, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:00 (six years ago) link

I used to secretly tell the waiters at restaurants that it was my dad's birthday. They'd come out with candles and funny hats and sing songs to him.

Funny thing was that 1.) He was my step-dad and 2.) it wasn't his birthday. I was a horrible child.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:09 (six years ago) link

lol I actually went to Firehouse after reading this thread. I walk in, nobody shouts Firehouse....a first. everybody behind me, though, got the half-hearted "Welcome to fiyah-hoooooowwww-ssuh!", albeit it was a bit deflated.

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:22 (six years ago) link

lately the very innocuous embarrassing thing = fast food/restaurant folk forgetting my drinks. The last three times I ordered out, two of the drivers forgot the drink I ordered, and I had to have them go back and get it and drive it back. I always hate that awkward "uh, excuse me!" moment because sometimes the drivers, in a (well-intentioned) effort to show they're sorry and be helpful, do this overdramatic Shakespearean apology when I'm really like 's'ok, not gonna die, just...want my drink!'.

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:26 (six years ago) link

this thread has drifted somewhat from things that are irrationally embarrassing but yesterday i found myself grocery shopping and there was a woman stocking in the area where i wanted to grab some berries and some fennel and maybe some other things. i hadn't really decided yet, was still deciding what i wanted. she stepped aside and implied that i should go ahead, she said "take your time"

i stood there for like 5 seconds completely immobile and then asked her to please continue what she was doing because her standing behind me watching me choose my food was making me feel really uncomfortable. she didn't get it and was like "no go ahead, i'm ok" and i had to be like NO, PLEASE and then she finally saw the look in my eyes and understood that letting me go first was what was making me uncomfortable and that i would rather not be watched (that's what was really bothering me)

it was really really embarrassing, the whole thing

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 19:29 (six years ago) link

Was that perhaps at the yogurt section?

nickn, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:44 (six years ago) link

Fennel yogurt? Perish the thought.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 20:50 (six years ago) link

nope, the produce section
also i haven't had a chobani in months! i have been eating plain greek yog with a variety of jams and it is so much better in taste as well as lingering emotional feeling.

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:18 (six years ago) link

Does chobani not make plain? I mostly prefer plain yogurts but they don't have them at costco

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:22 (six years ago) link

they do but -- i repeat -- the only reason i had any interest in gd chobani yogurt was the passion fruit flavor
it's not the yog itself
it's the PASSION FRIUT

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:25 (six years ago) link

oops
fruit

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:25 (six years ago) link

froot

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:25 (six years ago) link

PASSOIN FRIUT

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:27 (six years ago) link

within seconds someone should come along and say how they don't like/can't handle the seeds and then we will know that everything has gone back to normal

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:27 (six years ago) link

I basically only eat fage with honey now. Because it's like a desert.

Jeff, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:33 (six years ago) link

have you guys ever eaten actual passion fruit?

marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:35 (six years ago) link

my dad grew up in peru where they call them granadillas. they also nicknamed them "mucous fruits" because eating them is like sucking mucous

marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:36 (six years ago) link

"mucous" looks weird - is it spelled "mucus?"

marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:38 (six years ago) link

they are the best fruit. i'm trying to find seedlings locally so i can finally grow my own, bc @ $3 EACH that's just too ridiculous, even for the best fruit ever.

just1n3, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:38 (six years ago) link

the passion of the fruit

a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:47 (six years ago) link

Granadilla isn't pomegranate?

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:48 (six years ago) link

i'm increasingly embarrassed by the entire process of grocery shopping. getting your sustenance = being forced to navigate an artificial grid of product displays while interacting with or trying not to interact with strangers who are being forced to do the same thing, then waiting in line with said strangers while wage slaves handle your plastic-wrapped food, and you're all crowded together and inevitably someone feels like they have to "be friendly" like we're all there by choice. also convinced everything about the yogurt aisle is basically "don't you want this healthy ice cream" and am pretty embarrassed to enter it, though yes i do want this healthy ice cream.

mattresslessness, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 21:58 (six years ago) link

also displaying what will soon be the contents of your fridge and pantry to like 20 randoms, and seeing what everyone else's will be.

mattresslessness, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:00 (six years ago) link

wow, grocery shopping is, like, the world's most relaxing activity for me. embarrassment does not compute

Alvarius B. Goode (WilliamC), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:05 (six years ago) link

at least not in peru xp to la lechera. GIS for granadilla also brings up passion fruits

marcos, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:06 (six years ago) link

i am getting sick of all the people standing around deliberating blankly while they shop. like, don't you do this a lot? like every week or two? for most of your adult life? are you eating food you have never had the slightest experience of? can you not just grab an onion and throw it in your basket? does so much hang on your buying exactly the right combination of things? you're going to eat it all and shit it out and then come right back and do it all again, is it really worth it to you or to me to stand around in a daze cluttering up the aisles?

j., Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:09 (six years ago) link

I don't understand what's so bad about Chobani.

I also don't interact with people there any more than I do anywhere else. "Hey, howya doin'."

Seeing what's in everyone else's cart might be my favorite part of the trip. You wonder how the makers of RC Cola stay in business until that guy gets in the next lane.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:13 (six years ago) link

the politics of the plastic dividers and when to "make room", not knowing where to look between the horrifying magazines and accidentally catching the gazes of other people not knowing where to look. etc. always relieved when it's over. xxp

i'm one of those people standing around deliberating blankly and i don't know what to say about it other than, yes, getting stuff for more than one meal during a trip can get complicated, it's the end of the day, and here we all are in this place we don't want to be in rn.

mattresslessness, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:14 (six years ago) link

don't want to give the impression that i can't handle being embarrassed by something innocuous itt

mattresslessness, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:16 (six years ago) link

i see a lotta louis ck style 'this is exactly the thing i want to do right now why can't i do it' driving types at the store

i much prefer shopping after 10 at night, but lately i have been going during the day or the evening so i am exposed to these horrors

j., Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:21 (six years ago) link

Crossing paths with my neighbouring co-worker in another part of the office, not knowing if I should say hi or make small talk ("Welp, see you back at the cubicle in 4 minutes!")

Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:23 (six years ago) link

^^^^ yeah that, or similarly, when someone is crossing paths and they say "Hi <name>, how are you/how was your time off?" etc and you start answering and try to ask them "how about you" in response but they keep going, never really interested in hearing the response and leaving you alone by yourself holding the banana you bought downstairs and a soulful of shame

getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:30 (six years ago) link

agree that shopping at night is nicer. xp

mattresslessness, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:32 (six years ago) link

I love late night grocery shopping.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 22:50 (six years ago) link

Coldstone also refers to their sizes by embarrassing phrases, one being "Gotta have it." I don't know if they *make* you use them but they do seem to expect it.

― nickn, Tuesday, April 29, 2014 1:56 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still find it fairly embarrassing to have to use the Starbucks coffee sizes. Why can't I just say S/M/L?

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:21 (six years ago) link

You can

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:30 (six years ago) link

That's what I still do. "I'll take a large." "A Venti?" "Sure, if that's a large."

I still can't get over "Medium/Large/Extra Large" at some places, but I'm getting into What's the Deal With Airplane Food? territory now.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:34 (six years ago) link

I know I can, but I feel like I'm making things more complicated and confusing for them if I'm not using their sanctioned terminology

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:34 (six years ago) link

I'm afraid I'm going to slip up and order a medium at Wendy's where maybe they still use medium as medium when what I really wanted was a small.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:38 (six years ago) link

Having worked there, it can throw off your rhythm if someone says "large"; you get used to the register buttons, and suddenly you have to stop for a second and think, right, large=Venti. Not a big deal, but it added a tiny bit of stress during morning shifts on the drive-thru.

xp

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:42 (six years ago) link

I honestly don't know the sizes off the top of my head. Forcing customers to describe their desired volume of beverage by using unfamiliar words is an interesting edict, I'll give them that.

pplains, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:45 (six years ago) link

oh god I just remembered the worst irrationally embarrassing thing that happened last month at Target

I was standing in line and a woman started putting up her stuff on the conveyor belt & she leaned over and said 'VG? Oh wow hiiii!!!!' and she turned out to be a person who had worked in my office 10 years ago. Who I thought was kinda weird back then because she dressed like a tapdancer and I never knew how to talk to her because she seemed like that kind of manic happy on the verge of tears beauty pageant kinda crazy and she was very sincerely nice and tried so hard but I always pictured her crying in the bathroom somehow and it was v unnerving

and she's still kinda the same, SUPER scary pleasant and chatty and this checkout line became the worlds slowest line right at that moment, the ppl ahead of me were paying with a $100 and the cashier didn't have change and her register was fucking up and I am trapped making smalltalk with this woman and she's asking about people she remembered from the office and ohhhh god I wanted to die

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:47 (six years ago) link

I hate running into people who no longer work in my office

i hate it even more when they come in to visit

it's just all awful and I don't know why but I hate it

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:48 (six years ago) link

i bet leonardo di caprio feels something like that if he bumps into kirk cameron at a pinkberry.

Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:58 (six years ago) link

lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:59 (six years ago) link

Hey that's a good reason to use their wacky terminology-- I'll remember that

Mayor Manuel (La Lechera), Wednesday, 30 April 2014 00:09 (six years ago) link

joygoat which college did u go to did u go to my college or was it msu or are there other schools with dairys i only know about those 2

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 30 April 2014 04:46 (six years ago) link

penn st has one too

mookieproof, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 04:46 (six years ago) link

maybe it's a common thing in agri/land-grant schools

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 30 April 2014 04:52 (six years ago) link

This would be the large land grant state university in the eastern part of Washington. We've got the dairy here and the University of Idaho is 8 miles east where they have the wonderful and amazing Vandal Meats.

joygoat, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 05:15 (six years ago) link

I looked up Cold Stone's size phrases. I wonder if you have to say TM when ordering.

Like It™ - approximately 5 oz.
Love It™ - approximately 8 oz.
Gotta Have It™ - approximately 12 oz.

nickn, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 07:35 (six years ago) link

I'm Here Under Duress™ - 2 oz
Fine, I'll Order Something Just Please Don't Sing™ - 2.5 oz
I Wish I Were Dead™ - 25 oz

carl agatha, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 10:59 (six years ago) link

Lol
I would love to see them attempt this shit in, say, Macclesfield

kinder, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 11:40 (six years ago) link

I Wish I Were Dead™ - 25 oz

would order

a strange man (mh), Wednesday, 30 April 2014 13:58 (six years ago) link

xxp looooooool

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Wednesday, 30 April 2014 14:00 (six years ago) link

i think it's aziz ansari who has a whole bit about the cold stone size names

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 1 May 2014 04:59 (six years ago) link

- just accidentally sent out some internal faculty emails to my 600-person external list
- not actually that big a deal as it was just forwarding on event listings, people will presumably click on thinking little of it
- but still
- sdhfiashfiumawhepuimahufisaho

Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 May 2014 12:51 (six years ago) link

There's a guy whose house backs on to the railway station car park in our town who each time there's an election on drapes a huge VOTE UKIP poster over his back wall. It's the first thing people see when they get out the station and it fills me with horror. It's too high up to reach and there are security cameras all over that area. A colleague whose new girlfriend grew up in the area came to visit the town and came back with some very negative impressions of the place. Is there anything I can do to deface it or get it taken down?

1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 11:17 (six years ago) link

a slingshot with eggs?

how's life, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 11:19 (six years ago) link

paintballs?

how's life, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 11:22 (six years ago) link

yeah i was thinking about egging it under cover of night. technically he's not doing anything illegal as it's his property, but the thing makes me sick and only goes to perpetuate the town's 'Little England' reputation. Ironically, it's only since we saw an influx of city workers coming to lived here that the town lost a lot of its ethnic communities as they were pushed out of the housing market. We get a lot of Londoners remarking on how white and middle-class the place is and it takes a lot for me not to go 'b-b-b-but it's you lot that made it like this!'.

1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 11:53 (six years ago) link

i don't know how many levels of 'coming over here, taking away our diversity' that was, haha

1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 11:54 (six years ago) link

i wonder if it is actually legal, if it's abutting 'public space' in that way

♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 12:14 (six years ago) link

i am an over-deliberate grocery shopper but i get very annoyed at other classes of over-deliberate grocery shopper in a way i probably can't justify. i did spend ten minutes thinking about yoghurt the other day.

♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 12:15 (six years ago) link

i did spend ten minutes thinking about yoghurt the other day.
you should feel embarrassed about that imo

funch dressing (La Lechera), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 12:38 (six years ago) link

i felt a kind of sadness and loss of control that i don't think is quite the same thing

♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 13:34 (six years ago) link

people who use their trolleys to block off access to the fridge they are looking at really bug me. particularly on the short date stuff. that's more of an anger thing. when i find myself standing around waiting for the supermarket guy to reduce the short date stuff, that's an embarrassment thing, but i think it's quite rational, actually.

♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 13:35 (six years ago) link

four months pass...

2. something that also p much only happens in commercials -- whenever a completely normal-dressed person is dancing while doing [whatever the product is], or if they're just sort of moving in a highly choreographed way and they almost always do it with a blank, satan-like smile on their face. biggest problem lately is this one commercial i can't find on yt, it's a woman doing a weird pop-and-lock routine while she does her dishes. and THIS, especially at the end. and a recent southwest commercial where i businessman is walking down a hallway and breaks into some horrible little demon dance at the end. i don't change the channel for these but i sort of endure them with fascination and maybe masochism, like torture porn?

― infirm neophytic child (zachlyon), Wednesday, April 17, 2013 5:19 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FOUND IT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2g2EeTXz_k

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Thursday, 11 September 2014 04:05 (six years ago) link

Those faucets with with sensors make me more IA than the woman dancing makes me IE.

Jeff, Thursday, 11 September 2014 11:01 (six years ago) link

there's this thing that people who are used to being right do when they touch on an unfamiliar subject and purposefully mispronounce it in order to ridicule it to make it obvious that it's not worth their time. like:

"you shouldn't jump from one building roof to another, unless you're into that... parkay? whatever."

clouds, Friday, 12 September 2014 20:14 (six years ago) link

That commercial is embarrassing.

I tried to listen to "All About That Bass" and I couldn't make it past 30 seconds because I was so embarrassed. The sass, the platitudes, the internal joke of using upright bass on a song about "bass," I just can't take it.

Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 12 September 2014 20:27 (six years ago) link

Ugh yeah that song is super embarrassing.

carl agatha, Friday, 12 September 2014 20:36 (six years ago) link

*cringe*

⌘-B (mh), Friday, 12 September 2014 20:39 (six years ago) link

when I saw it mentioned on ilx I figured it was some one-off novelty horseshit that people would share on the web. no, it's actually played on the radio. often.

⌘-B (mh), Friday, 12 September 2014 20:40 (six years ago) link

i watched about 65 seconds of it before bailing in disgust
it's like a shitty old navy commercial

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 12 September 2014 20:43 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3itEiUcZ6E

mookieproof, Friday, 12 September 2014 20:45 (six years ago) link

basically all musicals and showtunes make me feels super embarrassed. my in-laws gave tickets for "mamma mia" to my wife and i when we first starting dating. we felt bad not going since it was gift. they really fucking love this musical. i just feel sickly embarrassed for everyone involved. me, the audience, the actors, it's so bad

marcos, Friday, 12 September 2014 20:55 (six years ago) link

I'm pretty sure the majority of commercials these days are deliberately going for the cringe factor. Anything that gets attention and plops a brand into your head. Jack n The Box ads are especially aggressive in their ability to render embarrassment and misanthropy.

brimstead, Friday, 12 September 2014 23:07 (six years ago) link

there's this thing that people who are used to being right do when they touch on an unfamiliar subject and purposefully mispronounce it in order to ridicule it to make it obvious that it's not worth their time. like:

"you shouldn't jump from one building roof to another, unless you're into that... parkay? whatever."

― clouds, Friday, September 12, 2014 4:14 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've written about this extensively (blogged about it once) i coined it "the pejorative mispronunciation"

i consider less "not worth their time" and more "already embarrassed to know thing exists and do not want to be associated with it", different shades of the same idea.

there was a commercial years ago where a stern male voiceover is talking about... something manly, in relation to other things that are not manly, such as "(scoff) SADOOKIE or whatever" (pans over image of a sudoku game). kids calling pokemon "pokeyman" in middle/high school was a thing.

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 12 September 2014 23:58 (six years ago) link

that's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the nose bored

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Saturday, 13 September 2014 00:09 (six years ago) link

'Jamarocky'

monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Saturday, 13 September 2014 08:09 (six years ago) link

I asked the waiter who chose the music at a restaurant and was told it was pandora. Filled with shame.

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Sunday, 14 September 2014 01:27 (six years ago) link

Yeah all about that bass is the worst.

jaymc, Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:18 (six years ago) link

Super interested in the pejorative mispronunciation, zachlyon what is your blog would resd

jaymc, Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:20 (six years ago) link

Wait url can not be found. That is some bull shit

jaymc, Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:22 (six years ago) link

lol i literally wrote about it when i first got a tumblr in 2009 i was in college and v stupid and didn't know what tumblr was for (rage)

goddammit did you google it i have statcounter u know

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:27 (six years ago) link

ahaha i've been making all my old posts private cause they're embarrassing

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:28 (six years ago) link

u got punked

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:29 (six years ago) link

Haha

jaymc, Sunday, 14 September 2014 08:36 (six years ago) link

It's the same principle as getting someone's name wrong on purpose, or intentionally misspelling it in correspondence.

jeangenet ramsey (suzy), Sunday, 14 September 2014 09:07 (six years ago) link

e.g. m. night shyamalan

carl agatha, Sunday, 14 September 2014 09:56 (six years ago) link

Pharisees and Sadookies

a puddle of quivering 501s (soref), Sunday, 14 September 2014 10:57 (six years ago) link

talking to someone while walking on a footpath which is slightly too narrow for two people. do i lag behind a bit and make conversation harder, walk uncomfortably close to them or walk on the grass? each way presents its own problems, and why is it always me who has to alter trajectories and feel like i'm being judged for walking weird?

olly, Sunday, 14 September 2014 12:35 (six years ago) link

Oh yeah, I dislike that. Always feel like I'm on the losing side of a game of chicken. Right by my work I end up hoping up on a small curb that separates the sidewalk from the grass in order to avoid collisions with slower-moving groups of people. Don't see anyone else doing that much. Makes me feel a bit like a little kid. But what would I do - walk right into them? See also cutting across grass in order to take a corner instead of following the sidewalk along at a right angle. Do these people not want to get places 10-15 seconds earlier though? Right angles are for rubes and yokels.

how's life, Sunday, 14 September 2014 14:36 (six years ago) link

People who call the president "NObama." There's got to be a better critical play on his name.

Je55e, Sunday, 14 September 2014 18:12 (six years ago) link

Obummer

⌘-B (mh), Sunday, 14 September 2014 18:28 (six years ago) link

Obama fama fee fi fofama.

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 14 September 2014 18:40 (six years ago) link

ok seriously glasgow webcache wtf

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 16:31 (six years ago) link

At the beginning of Nelson's "(Can't Live Without Your) Love And Affection" video, when Matthew and Gunnar sing the first line in unison and then look around in wonderment like "where'd that come from?"...man, I'm so embarrassed for them I can't even tell you.

Bouffants and Other Coifs (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 September 2014 17:06 (six years ago) link

Wow it's been yonks since I've seen that video so I just watched it and everything about it is embarrassing!

"Gun. Can we do this?"

;_;

carl agatha, Thursday, 18 September 2014 17:08 (six years ago) link

It's hard to imagine that one day we would be looking back at a Nelson video in embarrassment but here we are.

Bouffants and Other Coifs (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 September 2014 17:13 (six years ago) link

hahaha

Although the part towards the beginning when the model "Gun" is pining for randomly gets up from her beach chair and starts twirling across the front of the band is so embarrassing it almost comes back around to sublime.

carl agatha, Thursday, 18 September 2014 17:19 (six years ago) link

You are not helping me resist the nigh-inexorable impulse to watch music videos from 1990 in lieu of working.

Bouffants and Other Coifs (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 September 2014 17:31 (six years ago) link

Weekly coupon emails from EAT24 that have this cutesy tone and always have to reference "what's going on this week" e.g.

Did you bend your iPhone 6 already? Us too. That's why we're happy to announce that the EAT24 app is now optimized for bent screens!

What does this mean? Well, let's say you just perfected that butt groove in the couch but your new iPhone was in your pocket, so now it looks more like a taco shell than a smartphone. You can still use that phone* to order yourself a taco on the EAT24 app thanks to its all-new springy, flexible, and shatter-resistant UI.

You can also use this coupon to save a little dough** on your Curly Fries, Pad Thai Noodles, or any other bendy/non-bendy foods this weekend.

Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 26 September 2014 16:48 (six years ago) link

ugh
honey bourbon of words

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 26 September 2014 16:52 (six years ago) link

Her name's Honey Boo Boo, don't be fresh

Josefa, Friday, 26 September 2014 20:27 (six years ago) link

The back entrance to our office is approached via a wheelchair ramp which switchbacks several times to get up to the height of the back door. For some reason I feel like a fool whenever anyone sees me zigzagging back and forth on it for ages in order to cover a distance of 3 metres. (Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased the ramp is there for people who need it, it's just that using it makes me irrationally embarrassed.)

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 05:59 (six years ago) link

Ha. Felt the same way when I got to the bank the other day as it opened.

TELLER: I can help you over here!

18 seconds later

PP: Phew, thanks. Just need to make a withdrawal.

pplains, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 13:56 (six years ago) link

when friends' kids call me 'uncle [mookieproof]'

mookieproof, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:08 (six years ago) link

Not gonna turn this into an ILPM thread, but that one's right up there for me too.

Some of the teachers call themselves Ms. Johnson while others call themselves Ms. Trish. I think it's ok for the kids to address adults with a Mr or Ms instead of going, "Hey, Jason, what's up," to their friend's dad.

But I can't stand the sound of Mr. Tre. I'd be even more irrationally embarrassed for anyone named Ed. But I don't want to be an ass and insist on being called Mr. Baker at every instance either.

pplains, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:15 (six years ago) link

I am so accustomed to Ms Lechera that I kinda like it. Mrs Mysurname though, no
esp when my DAD says it
that's just humiliating

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:22 (six years ago) link

It's common around our neighborhood for the kids to refer to adults as "hey ______'s dad". I would prefer Mr. Lastname to Mr. Firstname though.

how's life, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:25 (six years ago) link

Mr. Mike sounds worse than Mr. Tre imo, so... no

⌘-B (mh), Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:28 (six years ago) link

when i was little i wrote a thank-you note to my widowed great aunt, addressed to mrs. her name. she informed me that it should have been to mrs. her dead husband's name

so i guess uncle me isn't as weird as it could be

mookieproof, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 14:39 (six years ago) link

Mr. Mike sounds worse than Mr. Tre imo, so... no

Hmmmm.

http://hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/mrmike1.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 15:23 (six years ago) link

At work I get Dear Firstname Lastname from students all the time and it's always bugged me. It happens so much that I wonder if it's maybe taught in school now.

Like if my name was Lindsay or Jude or something then fine, but if you're writing to a Paul you're probably pretty safe to address that person as Mr..

sktsh, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 15:25 (six years ago) link

when i was little i wrote a thank-you note to my widowed great aunt, addressed to mrs. her name. she informed me that it should have been to mrs. her dead husband's name

I have seen it argued that Mrs. Her First Name is appropriate for widows.

tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 16:06 (six years ago) link

The women who work in our Florida stores always address us (in New York) as Miss Firstname when they call us which I am not sure how I feel about.

tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 1 October 2014 16:08 (six years ago) link

Where I grew up, Mr. or Mrs. Last Name was the formal address while Mr. or Miss First Name is the respectful informal address. So the former for teachers, visiting dignitaries, old people you don't know and the latter for parents' friends, neighbors, baby sitters. I tend to follow that formula for people I introduce Ivy to, except she can call our friends by their first names as long as they don't mind.

carl agatha, Thursday, 2 October 2014 00:17 (six years ago) link

Ivy can call me whatever she wants tbh

⌘-B (mh), Thursday, 2 October 2014 04:03 (six years ago) link

halloween music that is overtly "about" halloween and is really "silly" and "wacky"

clouds, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 16:08 (six years ago) link

I follow certain friends on Spotify and sometimes I see someone listened to something and go "Oh, I wanna listen to that" but then I get all afraid that they're going to notice I'm listening to the thing they just listened to and that I'm aping them. This seems like a really stupid thing to be embarrassed about.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 00:24 (six years ago) link

Hide your profile temporarily.

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 00:26 (six years ago) link

I would feel embarrassed to do that, even though no one would notice

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 00:28 (six years ago) link

classic irrational embarrassment
i know the feeling

cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Thursday, 16 October 2014 00:42 (six years ago) link

Just switch to beats music, prob solved

⌘-B (mh), Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:18 (six years ago) link

What I actually usually do is just wait like a few days, then check out the music. Sometimes I also start with a different record by the same artist, because "I just happen to be into them as well, their last record was good too"

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:23 (six years ago) link

is the conversation I have in my mind with the friend who 99% likelihood doesn't even notice I listened to the same band as him/her and wouldn't care if I did

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:24 (six years ago) link

Honest confession: I listened to a playlist off of either yours or N/A's profile recently, and thought the whole time, I hope they don't think this is creepy.

I listen to Baltimore music critic Al Shipley's playlists all the time too, but hell, that's part of his job, right?

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:27 (six years ago) link

Yeah I have one friend in particular who's not a close friend but has great taste who I tend to copy a little, and sometimes I think I catch him maybe doing the same with me, like once I was on a chopped-and-screwed kick and I noticed him listening to a chopped-and-screwed mix a day or two later, and it wasn't the kind of thing he'd regularly have in his feed.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:28 (six years ago) link

ps I wouldn't think it was creepy at all fwiw, but I don't know if I follow you so I don't think I noticed. I will now though, creep!

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:29 (six years ago) link

Look for me under my username "Ned Raggett".

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:58 (six years ago) link

That joke only gets funnier with every passing year.

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 01:59 (six years ago) link

When I get a notice that anyone has followed me on spotify I always feel embarrassed that they're about to discover I only use it for Girls Aloud and Chvrches and some Scottish fiddle music.

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 16 October 2014 02:02 (six years ago) link

90% of my Spotify listening is me listening to things people* I follow just listened to. The other 10% is Led Zeppelin. I assume if the people I follow even notice they would be flattered.

*and a lot of playlists from N/A, jaymc, DJP, maura, and Baltimore music critic Al Shipley.

carl agatha, Thursday, 16 October 2014 02:02 (six years ago) link

Panoptify

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 02:12 (six years ago) link

I was kinda disappointed that jaymc didn't have a bunch of playlists that were all "Songs Titles With At Least 12 Letters But Without The Letter 'E'".

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 02:18 (six years ago) link

Or "PPlains' favorite songs of 1998"

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 16 October 2014 02:20 (six years ago) link

"The Song That's In Your Head Right Now" - Fuck! How'd he know?

pplains, Thursday, 16 October 2014 03:38 (six years ago) link

I take my daughter to daycare every morning, about a 20 minute bus ride. I carry her facing out so she interacts with a lot of the other commuters. The other day, she was doing this thing where she just leaned over playfully to one side, then back up. An old lady across the aisle saw her do this and then started mimicking. Dramatically leaning over, almost lying down in the seat and then quickly back up. They both continued this for the entire bus ride.

Jeff, Friday, 17 October 2014 11:50 (six years ago) link

I was trying to tell this young dude exiting the library that he dropped his newspaper. Not only did I call him "sir" for some reason, but he was wearing earbuds so he couldn't hear me anyway. Also it was a free newspaper of which he was carrying at least one other copy, so it's not like he would've cared.

brimstead, Friday, 17 October 2014 19:37 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

LL should release a yogurt-themed drum record call chobanitime

man alive, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 21:12 (five years ago) link

Your expectations of me are way too low. I deserve better!!

vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, 23 December 2014 21:25 (five years ago) link

selling my used games to gamestop

slam dunk, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:14 (five years ago) link

Your expectations of me are way too low. I deserve better!!

― vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, December 23, 2014 4:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IDK it seemed to bring it all together: your love of chobani, "time" in the sense of drumming (as used by Yogi(urt?) Horton), horrible 70s album titles, etc.

man alive, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:29 (five years ago) link

i think you have misunderstood my feelings about chobani
(but not about yogi horton, may he RIP)

vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:33 (five years ago) link

follow-up record "She's Just Not That Into Cho"

man alive, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:36 (five years ago) link

:(

vigetable (La Lechera), Tuesday, 23 December 2014 22:47 (five years ago) link

selling my used games to gamestop

― slam dunk, Tuesday, December 23, 2014 5:14 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what does this have to do with yogurt

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 24 December 2014 01:43 (five years ago) link

a man goes to sell his used games to gamestop and mango is a chobani yoghurt flavour, that's what.

estela, Wednesday, 24 December 2014 10:49 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing and by the time the walk light comes on there is only one car for miles around which you are holding up for no reason whatsoever

club mate martyr (a passing spacecadet), Saturday, 17 January 2015 22:29 (five years ago) link

avoiding pressing the button just and waiting for a gap in traffic to circumvent the above situation, but then another pedestrian arrives at the crossing and doesn't realise at first that you haven't pressed the button and gives you a funny look when they eventually reach past you to press the button

soref, Saturday, 17 January 2015 22:57 (five years ago) link

stop i am getting secondhand embarrassment just reading this

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 17 January 2015 23:13 (five years ago) link

I make cars stop even if I'm not crossing the street.

Jeff, Saturday, 17 January 2015 23:19 (five years ago) link

Pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing and by the time the walk light comes on there is only one car for miles around which you are holding up for no reason whatsoever

Well there is a reason - so you can safely cross the street. Just because somebody is in a car doesn't mean their time or safety is more valuable than yours. #bancars

carl agatha, Saturday, 17 January 2015 23:20 (five years ago) link

I've got a left-turn light that will keep me stopped every morning when there's no traffic coming, but turns green as soon as the cars from the light down the street start arriving.

Dumbass light.

pplains, Sunday, 18 January 2015 00:27 (five years ago) link

Standing ovations

Jeff, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 04:50 (five years ago) link

and partial-standing ovations.

pplains, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 15:16 (five years ago) link

people who believe the button at the traffic signal actually does anything

Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 15:25 (five years ago) link

It does at some.

pplains, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 15:31 (five years ago) link

yup. It's used sometimes at intersections with lots of traffic and infrequent crossers. Looks like you should feel rationally embarrassed, Phil D.

walid foster dulles (man alive), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 15:37 (five years ago) link

I made my choice.

Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 15:44 (five years ago) link

There's one of those lots of traffic with infrequent crossers lights here and it has one of those magnet sensors which my motorcycle won't trigger.

I've gotten stuck there before and have had to get off and push the crosswalk button in order to get the light to change.

joygoat, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 16:13 (five years ago) link

more so than standing ovations, people applauding at a slight break when the song isn't over

and maybe it's me being rationally embarassed, but going to a concert where you're not overly familiar with the bands, arriving during a band's set and not being sure if they're the first opener, the second opener, or the headliner

I think at least once I've said "huh, I liked them more than I thought" referring to the headliner only to realize it was the last opener I just saw and the headliner is just about to take the stage

mh, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 16:42 (five years ago) link

I hate the convention in jazz of applauding after every solo, it breaks the continuity of the music and makes the whole thing seem like a big soloing contest.

walid foster dulles (man alive), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 16:45 (five years ago) link

Really, applause in general. Can't we just tweet @ the band our appreciation. Applause is so manual and archaic.

Jeff, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 16:48 (five years ago) link

man alive just deciphered jazz

mh, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 17:17 (five years ago) link

That's why I like applauding! So pleasingly basic.

groundless round (La Lechera), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 17:22 (five years ago) link

I hate how you can't like whistle or yell "FUUUUUCK YEAAAAH" and throw up devil horns during a bitchin' jazz solo without a bunch of turtlenecked grumps turning around and glaring at you.

american tail/american pie (how's life), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 17:29 (five years ago) link

also applause is a group activity -- we all make this noise at the same time because we all feel the same feeling of appreciation. tweeting at the band feels like i'm saying that my opinion is v important and it's not. i actually find tweeting very embarrassing in general.

groundless round (La Lechera), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:13 (five years ago) link

sometimes when i'm clapping i look at my hands and step back for a moment internally and think how ridiculous it is to slap my damn hands together to show appreciation for something

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:17 (five years ago) link

yeah but then you go clapclapclap and it feels good
visceral pleasure of clapping >>> the embarrassment it causes imo

groundless round (La Lechera), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:17 (five years ago) link

yeah i mean clapping is great, it's just something i sometimes think about

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:18 (five years ago) link

another thing i get embarrassed by is when i say goodbye to someone and they don't hear me and don't acknowledge it. this is embarrassing even when there's no one else around.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:21 (five years ago) link

xp
They should have "like" buttons at the seats, with a display of the total that both the audience and performers could see.

nickn, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:26 (five years ago) link

another thing i get embarrassed by is when i say goodbye to someone and they don't hear me and don't acknowledge it. this is embarrassing even when there's no one else around.

^^^^^^^^

just1n3, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:27 (five years ago) link

when i was about 4 i was diagnosed with juvenile arithritis, and had something done to my leg that required a cast. when i was finally let out of hospital, they tried to give me wooden crutches with sheepskin on the top (instead of the regular metal ones) and i was overcome with horrific irrational embarrassment and refused to use them. they wouldn't give my mum the regular metal ones for me, nor would they provide a wheelchair, so she had to push me around in a stroller till the cast came off.

just1n3, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:32 (five years ago) link

and maybe it's me being rationally embarassed, but going to a concert where you're not overly familiar with the bands, arriving during a band's set and not being sure if they're the first opener, the second opener, or the headliner

I think at least once I've said "huh, I liked them more than I thought" referring to the headliner only to realize it was the last opener I just saw and the headliner is just about to take the stage

I once went to see Autechre at a free outdoor show, only having heard a few songs and really knowing nothing about them. The show started, I got bored after about 15 minutes, and decided to walk around the town for a while. Came back an hour later in the middle of Autechre's set and felt dumb for being driven away by the opening solo act who I thought was Autechre.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 18:37 (five years ago) link

Standing ovations

I read an interview where an actor(?) said that the he was taken aback at the ubiquity of standing ovations in the USA and how I where he was from (England?) standing ovations were practically like winning an Oscar. Or a Tony, I guess. Anyway, they have lost a lot of value b/c I'm not sure if I can remember being at a performance that didn't end with one.

Je55e, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 20:43 (five years ago) link

I was at a fundraising performance for an arts academy where the S3mi-Preci0u5 W3@p0n5 played. Besides their getting a fucking standing ovation, I was horribly irrationally embarrassed by their performance and their whole shtick, being panderingly shocking, hollering "Are you bitches having a good time?! I can't fucking hear you!" at the mostly older, uptight crowd.

Je55e, Wednesday, 21 January 2015 20:49 (five years ago) link

when a talk show guest pretends to walk off the show for comic effect, and then that moment when they have to walk back to their seat.

slam dunk, Thursday, 22 January 2015 02:18 (five years ago) link

Most modern dance.

One time a friend invited me to a "modern dance" performance and I was like no fucking way. Another friend invited me to a "permanent art thing," and I went and loved it like crazy (it was one of this person's shows www.martacarrasco.com/ and it blew me away). Later I found out both invitations were to the exact same event.

Je55e, Thursday, 29 January 2015 15:42 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Missy Elliot videos.

Jeff, Sunday, 15 February 2015 13:59 (five years ago) link

lol the Hype style has not aged well to be sure

rip van wanko, Sunday, 15 February 2015 18:17 (five years ago) link

#leavemissyalone

the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 15 February 2015 18:47 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

checking out books from the J and YA sections of the library

I'm worried that kids are looking at me thinking I'm retarded, parents are looking at me thinking I'm creeping on their stupid judgmental kids, and librarians are looking at me thinking I'm a remedial reader ('Fire and Hemlock? hoo boy, I hope this isn't above his reading level!'). the final scenario bothers me the most, even though I have no reason to believe my town librarians are condescending dix.

I guess I could lie and mutter 'it's for my niece' as I approach the circulation desk, but it seems a sin to lie to a librarian, and at this point my niece isn't even old enough for Everybody Poops.

the geographibebebe (unregistered), Sunday, 22 March 2015 01:19 (five years ago) link

I have a similar experience whenever I check out 'chick' books. I am very insecure.

the geographibebebe (unregistered), Sunday, 22 March 2015 01:20 (five years ago) link

(and I almost had a meltdown when I bought a used copy of Neveryóna at a bookstore)

the geographibebebe (unregistered), Sunday, 22 March 2015 01:23 (five years ago) link

Elvis impersonators.

pplains, Sunday, 22 March 2015 01:29 (five years ago) link

theatrical customer service in general

brimstead, Sunday, 22 March 2015 01:30 (five years ago) link

sometimes I glance at library/bookshop YA shelves for stuff I have fond memories of (e.g. William Sleator, Paul Zindel) but generally my main thought after doing that is "oh God I am so old, there is not a single book on these shelves which existed when I was a teenager, all the books I liked are now so horribly dated that they all got weeded the second Harry Potter came out"

(though, yes, it is different for a 30-something woman, I just have to look like "oh yeah, just getting my kids some books on the way to picking them up from chess club" - though my dress sense and their database may give away my childlessness)

anyway I think librarians are probably just glad you're not looking at porn or getting bodily fluids on the books/floor

undergraduate dance (a passing spacecadet), Sunday, 22 March 2015 18:40 (five years ago) link

librarians are prob the last people you should be self-conscious about, many of the librarians i've worked with read indiscriminately, including tons of YA stuff

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 22 March 2015 19:39 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Trying to find pictures of haircuts to show what haircut you want to the person who cuts your hair.

Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:42 (five years ago) link

"Here's a picture of an extremely good-looking person, now use scissors to make me look like them"

Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:42 (five years ago) link

*hands barber magazine cutout image of Macklemore*

vyvyan vanse (clouds), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:44 (five years ago) link

xp i've never done this, but always kind of wanted to but also no because of what you said.

but then again, who really cares? I don’t. (dog latin), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:45 (five years ago) link

It never really works because people's heads are different. The best you can do is accidentally create a new look specific to you

Josefa, Friday, 10 April 2015 14:49 (five years ago) link

I just feel so incompetent at telling the hair cutter what I want that I thought a pic might be a good idea, but I think I'll just try my best to use words. I don't even want anything complicated.

Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:51 (five years ago) link

Haha, was just thinking of this, because I'm letting my hair grow for the first time in years but need a trim to clean up some rough spots. The closest thing I can think of to what my hair does left to its own devices is the long-haired version of Bradley Cooper, but no fucking way am I taking a picture of Bradley Cooper to the barber.

I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Friday, 10 April 2015 14:53 (five years ago) link

i always feel uncomfortable getting my haircut and more or less tell the barber, "just clean it up"
if they say straight in the back i say sure, they say rounded i say sure
it got to the point where i either shave my head or grow out a jewfro. i'm trying middle road for the moment but i doubt i'll stay there.

Maybe in 100 years someone will say damn Dawn was dope. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 10 April 2015 15:15 (five years ago) link

definitely have had the same embarrassing haircut scenarios, although the balder I get, the easier it is. Now the embarrassment has shifted over into wondering how much my haircut looks like a bad combover.

Free Me's Electric Trumpet (Moodles), Friday, 10 April 2015 16:00 (five years ago) link

i hate getting my hair cut for this same reason
"give me a whole new head, pls"

groundless round (La Lechera), Friday, 10 April 2015 17:20 (five years ago) link

I uploaded to my phone a photo of myself with a haircut I like. Now, that's all out the window if I ever decide to change my style, but I feel pretty good about this system lasting awhile.

pplains, Friday, 10 April 2015 17:44 (five years ago) link

"please give me this haircut"
*show picture of myself*

mh, Friday, 10 April 2015 18:33 (five years ago) link

i am going to have to start doing this, it is getting harder and harder to find a hairdresser who knows who yahoo serious is

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 10 April 2015 18:37 (five years ago) link

"Make me look like him."

pplains, Friday, 10 April 2015 22:14 (five years ago) link

What's really maddening is when you show them a picture of yourself and they still can't cut it that way.

This is why I recommend wearing a wig.

Josefa, Friday, 10 April 2015 22:33 (five years ago) link

i just say 'uh, like this, only shorter. not *too* short tho'

this is extremely unhelpful, but it usually works out fine

with my now-longtime barbers, damian & vera, i now have the number 4, which i guess is the setting on the clippers?

mookieproof, Friday, 10 April 2015 23:26 (five years ago) link

The same person have been cutting my hair since I moved to Chicago so I just let her do what I want.

Once in NC I brought this picture of Cat Power to a salon

http://oaknyc.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/110839.jpg

which is a little embarrassing now, especially since I ended up with a haircut more like this

https://hairstylesbymel.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/shrt-flip.jpg

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Saturday, 11 April 2015 00:54 (five years ago) link

LOL let her do what she wants.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Saturday, 11 April 2015 00:54 (five years ago) link

Just watched the "fat girl" episode of Louie and feel irrationally embarrassed on behalf of the fat girl in the show.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 03:00 (five years ago) link

i still havent watched that ep

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 15:22 (five years ago) link

I mean, everything she said was OTM but the speech went on way too long and it was really focused on a small slice of the bullshit that fat women have to deal with. "Men don't want to date us!" which yeah, that's rough if you're a fat woman trying to date men but also who gives a fuck what men think? And also, lots and lots and lots of fat women have lovely relationships with lovely people. This idea that the main problem that fat women face is that men don't want to hold their hands was just embarrassing.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 15:44 (five years ago) link

And the dude who per the previous episode who liked to keep a dildo in a drawer to make himself feel bad while he masturbates seeing the titular fat lady of the episode and saying, "Yuck" was super gross.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 15:45 (five years ago) link

it is def one of the most tone deaf eps of that show

Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:15 (five years ago) link

I've been thinking about it more and I'm embarrassed for Louie, who oversimplified a serious issue and basically made it about his dick. And him holding her hand at the end? Blerg. And I'm embarrassed that I am thinking about it so much. A fat lady thinking and talking about the fat lady episode of Louie woooooo HOW ORIGINAL.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 20:35 (five years ago) link

protest puppets.

in an awkward manor (doo dah), Wednesday, 15 April 2015 22:42 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Ha Ha! I even feel embarrassed for the cow.

nickn, Thursday, 21 May 2015 05:38 (five years ago) link

lol, that got through a focus group
"i like the way it seems like he fucks the cow later"

The dude on the porch serenading them is the worst part to me. I also can't tell if it's supposed to be a joke.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:06 (five years ago) link

Also this is more IA than IE but it's cold enough for the cow's breath to condense but dinglebutt is eating yogurt outside in a short sleeved shirt.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:07 (five years ago) link

so is the cow like the guy's friend and is waiting for him to finish his yogurt so they can hang out?

slam dunk, Thursday, 21 May 2015 16:39 (five years ago) link

the word "smelly"

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:30 (five years ago) link

That's pretty irrational.

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:35 (five years ago) link

Or innocuous rather

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:35 (five years ago) link

The word "yummy" when used by anyone over age 7.

nickn, Monday, 25 May 2015 22:35 (five years ago) link

That's pretty irrational.

― Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, May 25, 2015 11:35 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Or innocuous rather

― Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, May 25, 2015 11:35 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

both! And also I find it roughly twice as embarrassing when it's used for something that smells good as for something that smells bad.

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:47 (five years ago) link

i found myself irrationally embarrassed the other day while using my dry shampoo
no one was there i just felt shame for using the product

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:49 (five years ago) link

not embarrassed because my hair was greasy, but because i was using the product

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Monday, 25 May 2015 22:50 (five years ago) link

gee, your hair smells terrific!

Ric Flairy (clouds), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 01:06 (five years ago) link

I can't believe this hasn't been listed so far because it might be one of the most innocuous, most embarrassing things ever: Q&As at movie screenings/book readings/etc.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 28 May 2015 15:14 (five years ago) link

yes, but the moment when the guy gets up who has no question but just rambles for fifteen minutes about Israel

like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 May 2015 15:56 (five years ago) link

No, they're all embarrassing. I went to see a screening of UHF last night with Weird Al and Jay Levey doing a Q&A after and every question, from the guy who the audience yelled at because it took him four minutes to fully phrase his question to the guy who cried and asked Weird Al for his stance on gay marriage, was an atomic cringe bomb.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 28 May 2015 15:58 (five years ago) link

crying while asking weird al about gay marriage sounds like a lot of fun

like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 May 2015 15:59 (five years ago) link

Ugh no that's awful.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:01 (five years ago) link

There was a little girl who asked Weird Al what his favorite cartoon was. That was ok.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:03 (five years ago) link

was he proposing to weird al while crying? I continue to hold that this would be an amazing thing to see.

like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:05 (five years ago) link

my cringebinge was watching this dbag movie reviewer from the chicago reader use the phrase "dickensian amplitude" at least 3 times in five minutes after "cloud atlas"

Ric Flairy (clouds), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:35 (five years ago) link

a dick, amplifying

man they mailed me Cloud Atlas and i never bothered.

the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:37 (five years ago) link

this same dbag later trapped me at a video store in a dual monologue about the early yakuza films of miike takashi, which i'd have been able to contribute to had i seen any of the fuckers. also his breath stank.

Ric Flairy (clouds), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:45 (five years ago) link

Ugh

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:47 (five years ago) link

What was weird al's favorite cartoon?

how's life, Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:48 (five years ago) link

Ren & Stimpy

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 28 May 2015 16:50 (five years ago) link

from the guy who the audience yelled at because it took him four minutes to fully phrase his question to the guy who cried and asked Weird Al for his stance on gay marriage, was an atomic cringe bomb.
this has grown to be the only thing i enjoy about q&as in general. it's not like you're going to get interesting info most of the time.

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:08 (five years ago) link

I like to hear articulate people talk about things they've made, but the price is always hearing some useless fuck "ask" their rambling moronic multi-part "question" (never actually a question) and yeah it's probably not worth it

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:09 (five years ago) link

there's always the guy who insists on giving his personal history with the artist's work as if anyone cares

Florianne Fracke (La Lechera), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:10 (five years ago) link

Oh man yeah you should try sitting through the Q&A part of a panel presentation at a Star Trek convention. Star Trek fans have some serious personal connection to that franchise and really want to talk about it. LL, I think you would probably have to leave the room.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:12 (five years ago) link

I always feel like apologising to the person for having to put up with it, it's a real cultural cringe although I know q&a audiences are probably terrible everywhere

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:12 (five years ago) link

They are probably slightly worse here tho

So You've Been Pubically Shaved (wins), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:12 (five years ago) link

I mean, I, too, could stand up and tell a story about how Voyager helped me through personal tragedy and I would probably end up getting a hug from Captain Janeway but I would rather have a cavity filled and a cervical biopsy in the same day than publicly overshare about that.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:14 (five years ago) link

Like Weird Al is probably one of the nicest, most fan-service-focused performers out there, and even he seemed vaguely annoyed.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:15 (five years ago) link

Did I ever tell you about my mom randomly decided c. 1998 that I should meet and marry Weird Al? She was dead serious and so adamant that me and Weird Al were meant to be together. It was very strange.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 28 May 2015 17:18 (five years ago)