Shakey Mo's thread of misery

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

so a month ago I abruptly developed tinnitus in my left ear - a constant, unvarying ringing that never goes away and never changes. severely distracting and impacting my ability to function, which is especially distressing with my wife 7 months pregnant. went to the doctors (primary care physician, audiologist, ENT0 - nothing is physically wrong with me. went to two cranio-sacral sessions. no luck. went to see an acupuncturist on friday and he gave me a bunch of herbs to take which have made me all sweaty and sleepless, on top of the tinnitus. last night I stopped taking the herbs and took some melotonin, which actually seemed to help my tinnitus but couldn't really overcome the effects of the herbs and put me to sleep agh am going crazy from exhaustion take pity on me

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:27 (five years ago) Permalink

ugh sorry dude :(

seasonal hugs (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:29 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakes, I need a fully functional secretary of defense but I will accept a half functional one because you're awesome.

the ones that I'm near most: fellow outcasts and ilxors (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:29 (five years ago) Permalink

RIP Shakey Mo.

j/k that sounds awful. I hope it gets better.

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:30 (five years ago) Permalink

shit - sorry to hear that shakey. stay strong.

wrapped in naval (stevie), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:30 (five years ago) Permalink

aw Shakey dude that suuuucks. I remember there was a p extensive thread abt tinnitus somewhere on ILE from many moons ago -- I'll see if I can dig it up, there might be some protips in there for u? but huge sympathies, poor Shakes

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:32 (five years ago) Permalink

one time I was cleaning my ears w/ a q-tip (note, never do this, ever) and pushed some wax in and had very strong tinnitus-esque effects for a few days until a doctor vacuumed that shit out. without a doubt those felt like some of the worst days of my life. hope you figure a way out of this shakes.

iatee, Monday, 29 October 2012 16:34 (five years ago) Permalink

for a few minutes in the middle of the night last night it seemed to go away and I could actually hear silence and I was like omg silence I miss u

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:36 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry SMC, get well. (or just take more naps) lotta unfortunate health crap on da boards lately.

crazy uncle in the attic (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:37 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey this doesn't sound like fun and I'm sorry to hear about it. Hope it's temporary. Have you tried sleeping to white noise? There are some good white noise generators online.

make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:38 (five years ago) Permalink

reggae is the only thing I can sleep to

jah righteous

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

For what it's worth I've had some major middle-ear infections in the past and they were enough to make me nearly pass out. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

well not actually sleeping but reggae is the only thing that distracts me from the tinnitus and calms me down

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

at least you're in good company:

Headphone-induced TINNITUS

pplains, Monday, 29 October 2012 16:41 (five years ago) Permalink

that's the thread I was thinking of

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:44 (five years ago) Permalink

i thought this was going to be the thread where you inflicted misery upon other posters.

Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:50 (five years ago) Permalink

there's still time for that
http://img2-2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070926/misery_l.jpg

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:52 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry this sounds like hell

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

no pun

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

that sucks -- sorry shakey. do you think it is headphone/loud music induced?

tylerw, Monday, 29 October 2012 16:55 (five years ago) Permalink

aw sorry to hear that dog.

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:55 (five years ago) Permalink

Sorry to hear. I've had occasional bouts with tinnitus and assorted wax-related weirdness, and it's irritating as fuck. Hope it clears up.

5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 29 October 2012 16:57 (five years ago) Permalink

I have no idea what induced it but yeah as a musician I've spent my share of years next to the crash cymbal. at this point I don't really give a fuck what caused it I just want to a) sleep and b) figure out how to deal with it

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 17:00 (five years ago) Permalink

Sounds awful -- good luck treating this if treatment is possible.

WilliamC, Monday, 29 October 2012 17:28 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry man. is it ignorable when you're louder situations (crowded room, listening to music, etc)?

also, i don't mean to rub this in at all, but i'm curious because i worry about it a lot -- did you wear earplugs at all when playing and going to shows?

i've certainly had the sensation of tinnitus when going to bed after a loud show, and every now and then i'll randomly get a high-pitched swelling tone in one ear for about 10 seconds, then it goes away. it's been enough to scare me into wearing ear plugs for most of the shows that i play and all of the ones i attend (unless it's acoustic jazz or whatever).

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Monday, 29 October 2012 17:52 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I get intermittent ringing too.

I stood in front of a couple of huge amps at a Drive By Truckers show a couple of years ago and I spend the next day terrified that I'd permanently damaged my hearing, god I felt awful. Now I'm all about earplugs. But i still sometimes listen to my music a bit too loud on my headphones :/

I have heard that other ambient noises can help distract you from it when you're trying to sleep, like the white noises suggestion upthread etc.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 October 2012 17:56 (five years ago) Permalink

Sorry Shakey. Good luck man.

Deafening silence (DL), Monday, 29 October 2012 17:56 (five years ago) Permalink

i'll randomly get a high-pitched swelling tone in one ear for about 10 seconds

I get this too, and it's not even the same as the ringing in my ears I get after a show. It sounds like a tea kettle going off in the bathroom down the hall.

pplains, Monday, 29 October 2012 18:24 (five years ago) Permalink

^i asked an audiologist about it once and she said to try not to focus on it (ie ignore it the best you can).

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:26 (five years ago) Permalink

Yes, whatever you do, try not to focus on that incessant ringing in your ears that will never, never quit, yes that one just ignore it.

pplains, Monday, 29 October 2012 18:28 (five years ago) Permalink

I've never worn earplugs

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:30 (five years ago) Permalink

sounds absolutely terrible, shakey, hope you get better soon!

goole, Monday, 29 October 2012 18:34 (five years ago) Permalink

we're all at the mercy of our bodies, have empathy for anyone who's got it especially rough, hope this is only a temporary condition Shakes

Victory Goon (some dude), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:38 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe (pending) crying babby will distract u? :/

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:47 (five years ago) Permalink

I had about a two week stretch of constant ringing last year but luckily it went away. I have been very careful to avoid headphones since then and I think it's helped.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:48 (five years ago) Permalink

that is reassuring. I have a cousin who says he went through something similar (altho it occasionally recurs).

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 29 October 2012 18:54 (five years ago) Permalink

Don't know what to say, that sucks. I became inflicted with tinnitus in one ear over a decade ago, which started immediately after being exposed to a loud noise. It's slowly subsided since then to the point where I don't constantly think of it, although I still find it easier to sleep with a fan or white noise of some sort rather than silence. I also am prescribed alprazolam (Xanax) which has been shown to reduce ringing in the ears in some scientific studies, although it's not specifically approved by the US gov't for that use (but doctors are allowed to prescribe "off label" for unofficial uses). 1/2 mg twice a day, with the nighttime dose an hour before bedtime.

Lee626, Monday, 29 October 2012 19:07 (five years ago) Permalink

Sorry to hear about this, Shakey Mo. Hope it settles down soon.

Tinnitus usually goes hand in hand with hearing loss (esp sensorineural noise induced hearing loss). Did the audiologist / ENT find your hearing OK? If there's no hearing loss (or not much) I'd be optimistic that this will improve sooner or later.

The only approach I know that helps with tinnitus is masking it: white noise, "nature sounds" or whatever, quiet music. Go ahead and sleep to reggae if your wife can put up with it. Maybe something or the slower and dubbier side?

Melatonin might help you sleep even if the ringing is bothering you, probably worth trying again. I wouldn't expect herbs or other concoctions to help with the tinnitus directly. Sedatives (like Xanax and other benzodiazepines) might help a little with the tinnitus or would at least put you to sleep despite it.

Plasmon, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 00:35 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry to hear this dude. :( ear problems terrify me.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 00:53 (five years ago) Permalink

Anything that attacks your rest also attacks your sanity and that's just awful to have to deal with, even if it is "only" tinnitus. Get well, soon, Shakey Mo, cuz that babby is going to keep you awake plenty enough on its own.

Aimless, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 01:27 (five years ago) Permalink

Sorry to hear of this Shakey -- again, like all here I wish you an improvement soon.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 13:43 (five years ago) Permalink

i feel bad for you. i've had this for about 5 years now, a constant quiet ringing noise in both my ears. i'm kinda used to it now so don't really pay it any attention but every time i'm in silent places i hear it quite clearly. it mainly sucks when i go to bed. don't really have any tips to offer though

Jibe, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 13:57 (five years ago) Permalink

after not sleeping Saturday, Sunday or Monday night finally got a doctor at Kaiser to prescribe me some Ambien at 7pm last night. felt like I was having a total panic-attack-breakdown all day yesterday. managed to sleep a couple hours at a time last night at least, going to buy wave machine today and take it easy. at least my dad is here to help out.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 15:06 (five years ago) Permalink

Did the audiologist / ENT find your hearing OK? If there's no hearing loss

audiologist said I have no hearing loss. ENT said this might be a precursor to hearing loss. or it might just go away. who knows.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 15:07 (five years ago) Permalink

Just saw this thread, best wishes SMC, and hope you benefit at least from a better night's sleep

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 15:17 (five years ago) Permalink

thx for all the well-wishing guys

this is really rough

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 18:23 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah it's a bummer. musician/music lovers nightmare too.

my cousin was having ear problems and his doctor gave him prednisone, which helped, not sure if his case was ringing tho, think it was more of a feeling of blockage/hearing loss.

space dokken (Edward III), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 18:26 (five years ago) Permalink

Ouch. Sorry to hear this. Stay up, man.

you killed my cousin back in '94 - FUCK YO TRUCE! (longneck), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 18:40 (five years ago) Permalink

best of luck shakey, sorry you're going through this

all mods con (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 18:50 (five years ago) Permalink

alex in nyc saved my fucking life when tinnitus came for me. I don't like to talk about it publicly but let me tell you you will be ok and sleep will once again be a thing you have. I will never forget the time I spent unable to sleep because of the ringing though. it was the worst. I am better now. (however i now have offsetting horrible shit that I would happily increase the volume of the tinnitus to be rid of but no takers on that front so far.)

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:02 (five years ago) Permalink

if you don't wanna talk out it publically plz webmail me cuz dude I need some coping techniques/reassurances

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:03 (five years ago) Permalink

esp as a fellow musician

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:04 (five years ago) Permalink

done

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:23 (five years ago) Permalink

feelin 4 u shakey mo

flopson, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:26 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey a close friend of mine had this, similar thing, ENT said "nothing wrong, probz psychosomatic", but he figured it out, I'll e-mail him for some details

flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 19:41 (five years ago) Permalink

plz do many thx

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 20:02 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I had this too in my right ear. I figured it was because of the sub in my car (which was puny compared to some of the ones my friends had!) since I was in the drivers seat, bla bla bla. anyway it's annoying as hell for a while - when I was at a show or hearing someone give a speech I would have to tilt my head if I was on the right. I don't think it's totally gone away, but I do think my brain has evolved a mechanism that shuts it down to the point where I don't ever think about it anymore.

frogbs, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 20:12 (five years ago) Permalink

that took about 2 years by the way

frogbs, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 20:13 (five years ago) Permalink

during that time having a fan in the room was more than enough to make me forget about it

frogbs, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 20:20 (five years ago) Permalink

ugh good luck shakey, this sounds like a truly awful thing to have to deal with, it must be incredibly draining

just1n3, Thursday, 1 November 2012 00:34 (five years ago) Permalink

oh christ, that temporary whiney ear thing has happened three times in the last 12 hours... (worried)

make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Thursday, 1 November 2012 12:01 (five years ago) Permalink

finally got a full night's sleep last night. chirping-cricket-loop + atavan required. (Ambien no worky)

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:10 (five years ago) Permalink

wimoweh wimoweh wimoweh
oooooooooh ooohhhweee oohhh umumaweh
- bob marley

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey I messaged you, my friend took Klonopin.

flamboyant goon tie included, Friday, 2 November 2012 16:15 (five years ago) Permalink

we're sending our love down the well for you Shakey <3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:15 (five years ago) Permalink

lol VG

yeah thx goon I got yr message. I have a psych appt next wednesday we'll see what they say. hopefully something as extreme as klonopin won't be necessary. I am weirded out enough having to take atavan - I am not a big fan of the pharma industry.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:18 (five years ago) Permalink

well, I can triple-sign that last part from the woeful non-delivery I'm experiencing.

good wishes to Shakes and underaero

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:33 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry morbz

jesus seems like a ton of health crises lately

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:47 (five years ago) Permalink

not sure what aero's goin thru but he's been super-helpful to me so hope I can return the favor

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 November 2012 16:48 (five years ago) Permalink

jesus seems like a ton of health crises lately

yeah i didn't want to clutter up the thread with my own misery, but i've had this sciatica/piriformis thing for the last couple months that has me walking with a cane (s/o to morbs), and not for long distances. i've been playing gigs but only if someone else loads my gear in & out. rehab is very slooooow, but at least i can sleep/drive/work.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Friday, 2 November 2012 18:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Is that sciatica in your leg or your back? That stuff scares me, glad you're doing OK.

Yeah, when friend said "Klonopin" I was like, "oh I didn't really want to hear that heavy shit".

flamboyant goon tie included, Friday, 2 November 2012 18:18 (five years ago) Permalink

it started with a back injury over the summer and there is probably still some disc weirdness involved, but at this point i feel entirely in my hip/butt/leg. it sucks and i have to make an effort not to be an asshole to people while i'm standing or walking. luckily, my gf is a massage therapist and almost a PT, so that helps a lot (although it means that she has to come home to more work sometimes). anyway.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Friday, 2 November 2012 18:39 (five years ago) Permalink

just wish I could hit on some sort of mental exercise to help me ignore this... ugh. second night's sleep of atavan+crickets not as good as first. woke up at 1:30 and had trouble getting back to sleep but then when I looked at the clock again it was 5:30 so I uh guess I slept? I don't even know any more

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, 3 November 2012 20:54 (five years ago) Permalink

pretend it's applause? :/

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 3 November 2012 23:54 (five years ago) Permalink

I've lived with tinnitus since I was a small child. It is interesting reading this thread, because for me, sadly, its a fact of life and one I realise Ive kind of got used to at least enough to sleep and not stress too much. But if I pay attention, I notice the continous sound of swooshing and a sort of ringing like the fading aftershock of many bells. I have something like 50% hearing loss in my right ear which has made things worse - it is due to a hole in my eardrum. ENT specialist says I can get it surgically repaired but it doesnt even guarantee it'll fixz the hearing loss and could make the tinnitus worse. fuckin.

So yes much sympathy from this deaf old bat.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 00:16 (five years ago) Permalink

I imagine the stress would be hundredfold worse as yours came on suddenly. You arent used to it.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 00:16 (five years ago) Permalink

have you tried an electric fan, white noise machine, etc yet - having some other noise your ear can focus on can be a blessing. I know a lot of musicians who sleep with the TV on - not ideal, I know, but as a temporary remedy it can be a thing.

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 4 November 2012 00:32 (five years ago) Permalink

Theres also an excellent white noise app on the iphone that does all sorts of diff noises like ocean, crickets, fans, rain etc. Unfortunately I dont recall the name of the one i had and it seems to have been uninstalled but it was very good.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 00:38 (five years ago) Permalink

Jesus, this sucks. Sorry, man.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Sunday, 4 November 2012 00:48 (five years ago) Permalink

I bought an alarm clock thing that has a bunch of noise settings - none of them mask it completely but the "summer night" one with the chirping crickets comes the closest. the only thing that really masks it completely is when I'm in the shower, that wide-spectrum sound of running water. (many times I have wished I could live my life in a shower, but alas) ... but functioning day-to-day is just really hard because I feel like it's constantly distracting, and it's so high-pitched that it cuts through pretty much everything. I know basically I have to wait for my brain to re-adjust to ignore it, but right now I'm in this state of trying to *consciously* ignore it, which is very hard, because it's like I can both never just let my mind go nor concentrate.

I was at the comic book store today (Veronica wanted to spend her first $5) and I couldn't bring myself to even care about looking for something for myself because why bother, I wouldn't be able to enjoy reading it

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 4 November 2012 02:08 (five years ago) Permalink

I can both never neither just let my mind go nor concentrate.

fixed

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 4 November 2012 02:09 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey, I don't know if this will help, but it's an idea. Removing your specific tinnitus frequencies from music you can fall asleep to: http://www.dianehallinen.com/servicesoffered/tinnitus-therapy--notched-music

good luck to you, aero, Trayce - I had a couple weeks of it a few years ago (post-explosion at a jobsite) and hope never to again.

Jaq, Sunday, 4 November 2012 17:47 (five years ago) Permalink

As a bass player who stood next to a drum kit for over 10 years i can totally understand your misery.
As soon as i noticed my ears were ringing i started to use plugs, but it was too late then. Haven't played in a band for years now, but still compose stuff on the computer using headphones.
Slight difference in volume and pitch, right ear (i stood on left of drums) is louder than the left. Noticed just how bad it was when i went camping and there was no other sound around. Was so bad i had to listen to music on headphones to distract me from just how bad it was.

I believe there's a few treatments to ease it, but no actual cure, acupuncture is rumoured to help?

not_goodwin, Sunday, 4 November 2012 18:20 (five years ago) Permalink

praying for u shakey, feel better

http://www.vocations-holyfamily.com/pics/Healing.jpg

the late great, Sunday, 4 November 2012 18:23 (five years ago) Permalink

man, i don't know why you're fucking around with crickets on an alarm clock at a time like this, sounds like you need a serious white noise machine? my ex-gf used to have one similar to this, i got pretty used to it: http://www.amazon.com/Conditioner-Marpac-formerly-Sleepmate-980A/dp/B000KUHFGM

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Sunday, 4 November 2012 21:10 (five years ago) Permalink

good wishes to anyone with ongoing health stuff. it's one of the most frustrating and unfair things there is, and incredibly isolating too, to feel physical problems that nobody else is feeling but yourself, and have to deal with them and have your thoughts filtered through the body that is experiencing those feelings.

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Sunday, 4 November 2012 21:13 (five years ago) Permalink

the music therapy idea is interesting...sounds fun, at least.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Sunday, 4 November 2012 21:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Related to Jaq's link above, AudioNotch might be worth looking at. Some good information on that site about notched audio therapy.

Brad C., Sunday, 4 November 2012 21:34 (five years ago) Permalink

does weed make this shit better or worse (sorry for this post)

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:19 (five years ago) Permalink

- bob marley

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:19 (five years ago) Permalink

OOh that looks interesting. I might have to try it (depending on the cost I guess)

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:20 (five years ago) Permalink

does weed make this shit better or worse (sorry for this post)

depends on the weed & your state of mind

if it's early on in the situation I would not recommend it

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:35 (five years ago) Permalink

I've had fairly severe tinnitus in both years for the past 14 years or so. It gets a little worse every year. It's incredibly high-pitched and never goes away. There's nothing in the world loud enough that I still can't hear the tinnitus above it. And unlike most people I find that white noise and the like doesn't really help, I prefer silence. Because when I'm listening to white noise the ringing just mingles with it and makes me feel like I'm listening to a malfunctioning television instead of soothing white noise. And sometimes playing the piano can make my tinnitus temporarily louder for a couple of days, which has interfered greatly with my playing. But I just try to ignore it and for the most part I'm used to it. I'm not sure I could cope if it got much louder, though.

Melissa W, Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:35 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah mine's never been particularly loud, it goes through stages of being very ringy to the point it almost... feels painful? I'm sure its psychosomatic but it does. Like whem you've drunk too much and yr head is going SHPPSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The other night, howeer, I was woken up by a sudden, much much louder than usual, single-frequency high pitched squeal in my ears that wouldnt fuckin go away, it was enough to wake me. Thankfully that stopped after a while but ugh.

Do people mostly have single-note tinnitus? Mines more like a real chorus of tones, I've always wanted to try and reproduce it with a synth.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:44 (five years ago) Permalink

My tinnitus invades my dreams a lot, playing the role of fire alarms and alien spaceships zipping across the sky.

And mine is a chorus of high-pitched sounds with occasional low-pitched strains. I also get this thing every once in a while where I feel like I've gone completely deaf in one ear for a second and then there's a hum and I regain my hearing.

Melissa W, Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:50 (five years ago) Permalink

Me too, and I think some others have said similar in one of the other tinnitus threads so that must be fairly common, I wonder why it happens.

Anyway my greatest sympathy to all my fellow head-ringers :(

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 4 November 2012 22:54 (five years ago) Permalink

does weed make this shit better or worse (sorry for this post)

depends on the weed & your state of mind

if it's early on in the situation I would not recommend it

I wouldn't say weed made it worse per se but as a chronic pothead tinnitus made being high nigh unbearable. like it just made me fixate on the tinnitus, it was awful. so yeah I wouldn't recommend it. it's been a couple weeks since I had some. dunno when I will try it again.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 5 November 2012 00:47 (five years ago) Permalink

I find booze can do that too. And, for me, being extra-stressed?

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 5 November 2012 00:50 (five years ago) Permalink

(which as you can imagine is the worst feedback loop ugh)

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 5 November 2012 00:51 (five years ago) Permalink

doubling my dosage of atavan (to 1 mcg) has enabled me to get a couple full night's sleep in the last two days, which has improved my outlook immensely. feel like I am hopefully past the turning point, and the tinnitus seems slightly less irritating/overwhelming than before. back at work today, will see if I can remain functional...

and again, thx for all the support and shared experiences guys

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 5 November 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

yay! good to hear, shakey

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 5 November 2012 17:00 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I don't wanna jinx it really. baby steps.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 5 November 2012 17:12 (five years ago) Permalink

well, getting back on a semi-regular sleeping routine. tinnitus continues largely unabated, altho there are times where it's ignorable. I am spending an *awful* lot of time wearing my ipod headphones and listening to music (at a reasonable volume! I swear!) just to distract me from it. but I know that can't really be good for me in the long run... the times I'm least conscious of it are being in the shower and being in crowds/outside where there's a lot of background noise. it was good to be with my daughter at the Academy of Sciences over the weekend, and at the Dia De Los Muertos parade, for ex.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 17:31 (five years ago) Permalink

signed up for a "tinnitus consultation" with Kaiser this friday, dunno what that will consist of exactly

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 18:47 (five years ago) Permalink

Had it for fourteen years or so, and can say it has its ups and downs -- most of the time, I sorta forget it's there, but then there'll be periods of a week or three where I'll obsess about the damn thing and really just want to off myself. Those have been pretty rare, mind. When I first got it, I basically just walked around constantly listening for it. Never really looked into any sort of treatments though (tbh, I didn't even tell anyone I had it until very recently; my misery always preferred solitude)
Getting enough sleep and food has been important to me though. I find that when I'm tired, it becomes a lot more frustrating.

Now when I have those lousy weeks, I just try to remind myself that it -will- pass. It's not great consolation, but it's some ...

This is an amazing time though, so I keep hoping that some goddamn genius scientist will come up with a cure one of these days. Just get a laser beam popped into yr ear for a minute and *pfft* it's gone.

Øystein, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 19:24 (five years ago) Permalink

I am very much looking forward to the day when I forget this is there

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 19:25 (five years ago) Permalink

those of you who are musicians who have been through this, at what point/under what circumstances did you get back to playing music...?

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 7 November 2012 23:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Can't speak for myself but my tinnitus-suffering friend was out-of-commission for four months :(

unreadable kristeva translations i have thrown (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 7 November 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

shakes i haven't seen this until now but i have this too and i commiserate more than you can know

i voted! (middle-class straight white male aged (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 7 November 2012 23:29 (five years ago) Permalink

i haven't developed ringing in my ears (yet) -- the worst i get is sometimes when i bend or strain my neck muscles a certain way there'll be a weird distorted, almost ripping like sound in my ears. i kind of assume that's some fairly normal sign of hearing loss, but maybe somebody can scare me here and say it isn't. when i was younger and playing drums every day and going to shows every week, i'd wear earplugs consistently to both -- now that i do both on a more occasional basis i'm not as dutiful about the earplugs, which i know i'm gonna pay for.

this week i worked a few days at a place where there was some equipment producing a really high pitched ring, and a couple times it really freaked me out that maybe it was just my ears and i really had to stop for a second and make sure it wasn't.

Citizen Ship (some dude), Thursday, 8 November 2012 00:03 (five years ago) Permalink

feels like every day is such a fucking struggle

wish I could just get stoned and zone out and read some comics or something but I am scared to even try

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 8 November 2012 22:00 (five years ago) Permalink

have a "tinnitus consultation" scheduled today with an audiologist. dunno what that means exactly.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 9 November 2012 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

good luck dude

call all destroyer, Friday, 9 November 2012 16:59 (five years ago) Permalink

ooh give us a full report I'm very interested. good luck

polish your turds for beer and hugs (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:12 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah good luck shakey mo

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:18 (five years ago) Permalink

i've never been through this but it sounds awful. sending good thoughts your way.

Tome Cruise (Matt P), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:19 (five years ago) Permalink

the audiologist will determine where your "notch" is - he'll tell you where you stand, hearing-wise. it'll be a huge benefit to you, just to know. reading can be hugely helpful if you can get your mind to focus on it! getting stoned as I've said - it could be good, but you can't really know how it'll go, and you can't really undo it if it starts to go south

ucsf audiology btw? been there, they're really good

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:28 (five years ago) Permalink

my healthcare plan ain't THAT great - I'm going to kaiser

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:30 (five years ago) Permalink

lol I went to UCSF because I had no insurance at all so I picked the ones who I normally go to for voice treatment

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:42 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm only familiar with UCSF cuz of other things they are renowned for (HIV, neurology etc), never actually been there

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:45 (five years ago) Permalink

they have amazing doctors and therapists and I will be leaving them something in my will. just an incredible place from a health care perspective.

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:52 (five years ago) Permalink

I was just there yesterday with my son for his MRI. Great place. Good luck today!

schwantz, Friday, 9 November 2012 18:29 (five years ago) Permalink

tried some online tools but have yet to pinpoint the exact frequency of my tinnitus - altho it's clear that it's well above 11,000 kHz. dunno what to make of that really. a bunch of these online test tools are really fucking loud though, so I guess I should be thankful that my tinnitus is not totally ear-splitting. but the super-high-pitched frequency of it means it cuts through a lot of stuff.

still having trouble sleeping too. off the ativan (really not supposed to take it for that long, so not really regretting that) and taken ambien the last few nights - which knocks me the fuck out but only for 5-6 hours and gives me a weird hangover too.

have a consultation scheduled in a couple days about anti-anxiety meds, which will hopefully help me get back to some semblance of normal functioning + sleeping

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:03 (five years ago) Permalink

just in case anyone was wondering

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:03 (five years ago) Permalink

how did the audiologist consultation go?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:05 (five years ago) Permalink

he didn't have much to say. that I'm doing all the things I should be doing, that my brain will eventually acclimate itself to it but that there's no real way to know how long that will take, that masking devices/sounds will be helpful to relieve the anxiety of it etc. that I need to sleep and exercise and manage the stress.

I am trying. it feels like every day is a struggle.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:13 (five years ago) Permalink

altho it's clear that it's well above 11,000 kHz

at least that should make it easy to low-pass your mp3s or eq your stereo if you try that music therapy thing, just shelve a little off the top.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:15 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry dude, I really feel for you :(

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:16 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah no doubt. hope you can feel some relief soon.

goole, Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:18 (five years ago) Permalink

best wishes shakey, this sounds like a bad thing happening to a good man

Albert Crampus (NickB), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:20 (five years ago) Permalink

I've been trying to figuer out my "notch" as well since reading that website linked above. I was sure mine is all over the place, but I focussed on it the other night and there is a dstinct "note" - an E, I think - that persists as a very very low hum, a mid-range chorusy sound, and a high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noise. I dont know if that means theyre diff freqs but theyre all the same note? I dont know hwo this stuff works tbh. I really need to see an audiologst - the ENT just said "yeah surgery there u go" but I want hearing tests and to discuss a hearing aid and if its an option at all (urgh)

So best of luck yours is solved or you get some releief Shakey!

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:20 (five years ago) Permalink

at least that should make it easy to low-pass your mp3s or eq your stereo if you try that music therapy thing, just shelve a little off the top.

I'm not sure it really works that way? other people have said that if you hear that frequency it cancels out the tinnitus.

I haven't tried the MP3 conversion thing tbh seems like more effort than it's probably worth.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:21 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah, either way seems plausible (taking out that frequency so as to not accentuate/aggravate it vs listening to that frequency for a masking effect).

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

one thing you may discover is a newfound appreciation for new age mellow drone stuff. I sure did. the benefits of listening to something that just takes you away into some place of calm and relaxation...shit, man. My young punk self sneered at that shit. Eat a trillion dicks young punk self, relaxation music is the business. Especially when it gives you your favorite album title of all time

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XzhN8cZGL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 00:37 (five years ago) Permalink

LOL

It's like the "I'm kind of a big deal" of relaxation albums

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 00:44 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe thelonious could come over and play a note so high, the note and your tinnitus will simulate a note in between the two notes that is outside of the audible range. But as a dude with narrow, infection prone ear canals (gross, I know) I feel for you and wish you well

Eccsame the Photon Guys (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 01:25 (five years ago) Permalink

lol aero yeah I have totally developed a newfound appreciation for soothing sounds of mellow keyboards with maybe a little flute

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 02:57 (five years ago) Permalink

get acquainted with this podcast. It takes up like 1/4 of my hard drive now

http://www.ultimathule.info/

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 14:14 (five years ago) Permalink

wishing you soothing peace, dude

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 15:21 (five years ago) Permalink

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/is-there-a-treatment-for-tinnitus/

some useful info mixed into to the typical-for-SBM self-righteous complaints about quackery

Plasmon, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:41 (five years ago) Permalink

Hang in there, dude!

schwantz, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 19:27 (five years ago) Permalink

sleep patterns still fucked up - more med-switching tomorrow (hopefully)

going back to the ENT on Tuesday, talk about getting an MRI. that the tinnitus has been accompanied by a physical change in my ear (which has not gone away) makes me think something's been missed, that this isn't just standard hearing damage sort of stuff. I've had weird sinus problems for years, sort of feel like this is related. I dunno. still struggling through each day - hopefully some anti-anxiety+sleep meds will make this a little easier for me to deal with. keep trying to remind myself that this will not kill me, that there will come a time when I will be better, when I will enjoy things again. but it's fucking hard.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 November 2012 01:00 (five years ago) Permalink

this sounds awful, i hope you can get some rest and resolution soon.

estela, Friday, 16 November 2012 01:04 (five years ago) Permalink

god I am like an old man with my fuckin meds now. took 2 ativan and an ambien last night and had the weirdest night's sleep ever - I felt like I was dreaming, but also awake, somehow...? like at any moment I could have opened my eyes and looked at the clock but instead I was making myself lie there with my mind wandering and my eyes closed. so strange. but felt a little more balanced this morning, the tinnitus slightly more ignorable than before. and then I get to try some different meds tonight *sigh*

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 November 2012 23:46 (five years ago) Permalink

:/

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 17 November 2012 03:15 (five years ago) Permalink

shakey if you are open to lols about how the meds make you feel may I recommend the comic "ambien walrus"

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Saturday, 17 November 2012 04:43 (five years ago) Permalink

had my second visit with the ENT today. He does not see anything unusual with me physically that would explain the tinnitus (no infections, no polyps, etc.) And my hearing is fine so it’s not associated with hearing damage from noise exposure or anything like that. He has requested an MRI, which they will call me to schedule within the next day or two, so hopefully I can get that within a week or so. The MRI will show if there is any deep sinus infections or tumors or nerve issues. The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep. I have to wear headphones all the time just to distract me from it.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 19:50 (five years ago) Permalink

The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep.

I have faced that kind of thing (though everyone's situation is different) and I guess the best advice I'd offer is to try to see the process of fixing yourself as a separate one to the process of living your life and getting along with things. Don't let one affect the other where possible. That is definitely easier said than done but at all times just externalise the symptoms as much as you can, not even pretending to understand how difficult that may be, btw. Talk to people and try to consider the mental side of things too.

Hope it improves. having a bit of a nightmare myself, healthwise, in the last week or two, though chronic stuff is sort of old hat for me. It's not helped by the fact I'm rehearsing non-stop to do a play all next week and the accompanying excitement/pressure/responsibility.

Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 20:04 (five years ago) Permalink

^^ that's extremely good advice.

The only good news about something bad happening for no apparent reason is there's no particular reason why it won't get better. I see neurological patients all the time with chronic miserable symptoms (frequent migraines, chronic pain or tingling or dizziness) where all the tests are normal and there's no evident trigger for the problem. It's still good news, even though it doesn't seem like it, not to get a specific diagnosis in these cases -- most specific diagnoses that cause chronic severe symptoms aren't fixable and produce permanent neurological damage.

If there's no hearing loss and no nerve damage, the tinnitus should eventually improve, or even resolve completely. Which is not to say, unfortunately, that you or your doctors or anyone else can make it go away. In the meantime, getting along with things as much as possible despite the problem is probably the best you can do, as maddening as it must be to be in this situation.

I feel for you, this is a really tough situation. Wish I could be more help.

Plasmon, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:23 (five years ago) Permalink

thank you Plasmon. that's encouraging. my suspicion is that the MRI won't turn up anything and oddly that's what I've been dreading most. but you've given me some perspective

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:01 (five years ago) Permalink

even though my hearing brings me like zero joy at the moment I do take some comfort from there not being any hearing loss

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:07 (five years ago) Permalink

Pete Townshend was on Letterman last night, and they compared tinnitus experiences (Letterman suffers from it, which I didn't know). Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments. I know you've tried that, but who knows, there could be another homeopathic route that will yield better results.

I also read somewhere that Jerry Harrison had it, and not only did it suddenly/mysteriously clear up, but his hearing actually was better than it was pre-tinnitus. So there's definitely hope. Wishing you the best!

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:10 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah good luck. i can't imagine. there's this quietus stuff- "discovered by a rock drummer".

http://www.quietrelief.com/

road to per diem (brownie), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:13 (five years ago) Permalink

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

some dude, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:14 (five years ago) Permalink

otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:17 (five years ago) Permalink

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

pplains, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:20 (five years ago) Permalink

on the sleep front, if last night is any indication, for me the magic combination is ambien to put me to sleep and trazadone to keep me asleep (unfortunately I was woken up abruptly by my daughter after 5 hours or so). While I am really unhappy with the prospect of taking prescription drugs to get to sleep every night, at least these are non-physically addictive and can be taken relatively long-term if necessary. I guess I used to habitually have pot and/or booze at night that probably helped me get to sleep but those are out for now.

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:23 (five years ago) Permalink

also it means a lot to have everyone's support here. I am not posting much lately cuz it's so hard for me to focus on stuff and I feel sort of joyless in general but any words of encouragement at all really mean a lot to me. I have never felt so emotionally needy in my life and it's not something I welcome but that's just how it is.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:25 (five years ago) Permalink

Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments.

uh Shakey is apparently suffering pretty severely here, no need to be a dick itt

( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°) (sic), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:32 (five years ago) Permalink

sic, tarfumes wasn't being a dick, he was just trying to give him some encouraging anecdotes. chill.

xpost to shakey
<3

i guess there's some consolation (kind of?) in maybe finding out where the cause is if it's not hearing damage. but it still sucks that you're having to go through all this

i hope it gets easier for u, dude

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:34 (five years ago) Permalink

As someone who has had occasional bouts with tinnitus, I would never joke about this, nor intentionally be a dick about it. I was just pointing out what worked for Townshend as a means of encouragement and possible further investigation for Shakey.

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:38 (five years ago) Permalink

well I have a history of sinus problems and that's what I originally thought it was but the ENT was pretty thorough and didn't see anything. and I'm not congested or anything like that. the longer this goes on the more it seems just random.

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:38 (five years ago) Permalink

re: homeopathic stuff - no need to fight guys. I've tried some stuff already with no real success, and there's other things I won't really bother to try. if the MRI turns up nothing then most likely my next step is to check in at the UCSF tinnitus center. they're not on my health plan, but they have a whole clinic devoted to this so at least I might be a useful test case or something.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:40 (five years ago) Permalink

of course how I would pay for that is a little uhhh with new baby on the way but I'm on some one day at a time shit at the moment

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:40 (five years ago) Permalink

Maybe they'll name a treatment after you & u will be famous

:)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:41 (five years ago) Permalink

tbrr the non-medical option at the top of my list would be to go see Jodorowsky in Paris for some psychomagic

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:45 (five years ago) Permalink

ok sorry, assumed anyone recommending taking str8 up water as medicine was trolling.

( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°) (sic), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 01:57 (five years ago) Permalink

trying to get appt with UCSF tinnitus clinic

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 19:00 (five years ago) Permalink

best of luck Shakey. This whole situation sucks and I hope you find a way to get past it soon.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 19:10 (five years ago) Permalink

it's weird the kind of music that kind of helps me ignore this, however slightly. Martin Denny, ZZ Top, things with lots of vibraphones ... white noise and gregorian chants, not so much.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

anyone know any good vibraphone-heavy albums that do not have a fucking saxophone on them

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:28 (five years ago) Permalink

what's the common factor, things with lots of harmonics/overtones?

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:29 (five years ago) Permalink

i never listened to the Modern Jazz Quartet much, but i love Milt Jackson's solo records, especially this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRCfV-YtBA

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:31 (five years ago) Permalink

xp maybe check out some Modern Jazz Quartet

Brad C., Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:31 (five years ago) Permalink

also this Gary Burton record:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-58mzVdK1M

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:32 (five years ago) Permalink

things with lots of harmonics/overtones?

I'm not really sure exactly but I'm kind of thinking yeah... my tinnitus is pitched *really* fucking high (like above 11,000 Hz) so it cuts through a lot of shit.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:37 (five years ago) Permalink

Can't go wrong with Ray Charles/Milt Jackson records. Also, Andrew Hill's Judgment! which has Bobby Hutcherson and no horns.

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:44 (five years ago) Permalink

Gary Burton is nice - stuff that is not too mellow or has a lot of space in it is good. space is just filled with ear-splitting irritation for me.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:45 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I love Hutcherson. Jackson too but the stuff I have of his has 'Trane on it... didn't know about the Ray Charles recs

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:45 (five years ago) Permalink

Maybe some Tortoise stuff?

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 23:46 (five years ago) Permalink

sort of hated post-rock stuff when it came out, but this has upended so many things about my life already...

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:09 (five years ago) Permalink

you never know maybe you'll discover that only late 80's smooth jazz works

(JOEKS)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:10 (five years ago) Permalink

as aero said

Eat a trillion dicks young punk self, relaxation music is the business.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:20 (five years ago) Permalink

my wife suggested I go Metal Machine Music style and make a record with my tinnitus tone pasted over everything

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:40 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry about this shakey. my wife has had intermittent bouts of this through the years (mainly from going to too many shows when she was younger with no hearing protection, including MBV at Slim's which I think really did her in), and it got significantly worse after she had cancer. apparently the platinum-based drug they gave her exacerbated it. it comes and goes these days.

akm, Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:45 (five years ago) Permalink

Mayb u need to fight fire with fire and listen to Ventolin by Aphex.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 22 November 2012 00:46 (five years ago) Permalink

I think yr wife is onto something Shakey

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 22 November 2012 01:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Just thought of another horn-free vibraphonecentric record: Cecil Taylor's Looking Ahead!, with vibraphonist Earl Griffiths (about whom little has been heard since).

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 25 November 2012 18:27 (five years ago) Permalink

Not vibey, but I've found a lot of early jazz with somewhat big bands to work well. Louis Armstrong's hot fives & hot sevens, various Jelly Roll Morton. Lots of stuff happening + scratchy recordings.

Øystein, Monday, 26 November 2012 09:11 (five years ago) Permalink

fuck you tinnitus

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 17:00 (five years ago) Permalink

keep checking this thread hoping for some good news. hope things go better, shakes

liljon /bia/ bia (k3vin k.), Monday, 26 November 2012 17:22 (five years ago) Permalink

fuckin zoloft givin me the jitters something fierce the last few days

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 20:07 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah that's pretty common, unfortunately. what dose were you started on?

liljon /bia/ bia (k3vin k.), Monday, 26 November 2012 20:15 (five years ago) Permalink

it's like the lowest dose possible 25mg

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 20:21 (five years ago) Permalink

me and pharmaceuticals are not a good match, I hate being on all this shit

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 20:22 (five years ago) Permalink

oh for the days when I could just rely on good old fashioned booze and weed

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 20:23 (five years ago) Permalink

someone tell me something encouraging plz

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 21:36 (five years ago) Permalink

i think you're gonna beat this thing. it might take some time. either you'll find the right drug balance and/or lifestyle changes. or it'll dissipate on its own. or both!

goole, Monday, 26 November 2012 21:38 (five years ago) Permalink

it's just an adjustment period, lots of trial and error. you'll find a groove soon and put the smackdown on that tinnitus, dawg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 21:43 (five years ago) Permalink

one day at a time, man. it's like being a recovering alcoholic. and be thankful for all the health issues you don't have.

(these are the things i'm telling myself every day)

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:18 (five years ago) Permalink

talked to the psych nurse who wrote my original prescription – she suggested some dosage adjustments, which I guess I will try tonight

ambien walrus here I come

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:46 (five years ago) Permalink

goo goo g'joob

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:47 (five years ago) Permalink

can you guys uh like talk me through the rest hour and a half or so

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:49 (five years ago) Permalink

sure

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:50 (five years ago) Permalink

in a lol ambien walrus move I did actually lose my car key the other day (albeit not while I was asleep or attempting to sleep-drive)

when I finally found it I was like YES! I SOLVED A PROBLEM I am not totally useless

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:54 (five years ago) Permalink

I can't believe I'm at work, charging people for sitting at my desk with sweaty palms. god I am really lucky to have this job

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:55 (five years ago) Permalink

it'd be cool if you could pick your sleep-ambien activity

like instead of something dangerous like driving you just sleep-played chess, or sleep-dance-dance-revolutioned

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:56 (five years ago) Permalink

I have done some weird things in my sleep in my life, but I can't really fathom getting out of bed, going downstairs, finding my keys, going out the door, into the elevator, into the garage, and getting into my car. like, I'm just not that coordinated.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:59 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I mean even in an automatic just like, driving the car around in your sleep is fking CRAZY

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 22:59 (five years ago) Permalink

on a different note, I think the best thing that has happened to me in recent days has been singing Lee Hazlewood's "Hey Cowboy" with my daughter, she has the words memorized now

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:02 (five years ago) Permalink

hey cowboy where's you get the funny walk

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:06 (five years ago) Permalink

omg that's super cute!!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:06 (five years ago) Permalink

I just remembered this silly thing Kristen Chenoweth said on Conan about tweeting on ambien, it's kinda funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vtE7nnjHw8

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:07 (five years ago) Permalink

jesus christ she's like a bobblehead

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:24 (five years ago) Permalink

I've been trying to focus on playing country songs each day, just to distract myself, something I can do with my daughter. she is REALLY into Cash on the Barrelhead

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:26 (five years ago) Permalink

I just remembered this silly thing Kristen Chenoweth said on Conan about tweeting on ambien, it's kinda funny

the uploader has not made this video available in your country, rescind VG's passport

( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°) (sic), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:47 (five years ago) Permalink

;_;

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 00:09 (five years ago) Permalink

she talks abt eating chicken wings in her sleep and sleep-tweeting about newlyweds not going on cruise ships or they will be murdered or something

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 00:10 (five years ago) Permalink

xxpost omg I love cash on the barrelhead

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 00:11 (five years ago) Permalink

shakey have u heard this version, from the louvin bros tribute album?

it's not bad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcw2trp0WzA&feature=share&list=PLdp8eyPEymlXVxKUt9pkKyaUvrxcHTdWD

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 00:15 (five years ago) Permalink

Did you ever get around to reading the Charlie Louvin book, Shakey?

Roadside Prisunic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 00:59 (five years ago) Permalink

hey shakes... i can't smoke weed anymore cuz i get the anxiety/fear/paranoia etc. but i have noticed that pairing it with a well-timed ativan (like 30 mins before) and i enjoy it w/o those side effects. not a doctor, but just saying, this has worked for me.

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:07 (five years ago) Permalink

I have not read that Charlie Louvin book yet thx for the reminder. reading is kinda hard for me these days unfortunately :(

there may come a time when I will enjoy a lil recreational weed+ativan but at the moment I don't think I can handle either. the weed makes me focus on the tinnitus too much, I'm just too much of an audio-centered guy. and I stopped the ativan cuz I was taking it regularly for like 10+ days and it's not good to get hooked on that shit. of course now I'm in a whole other cocktail stew of meds so wtf do I know

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:11 (five years ago) Permalink

how do you fare with audiobooks and the like?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:13 (five years ago) Permalink

hmmm never really tried em. honestly I have my ipod headphones on constantly now, altho the music that distracts me tends to vary from day to day. one day it was pretty much just the Jack Johnson box set. today it is Dolly Parton. some kinds of recordings/genres I just can't take at all anymore tho

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:16 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe u could try an audio version of a book you want to read, if actual reading is problematic. dunno if the tinnitus would interfere with that still though...maybe you could try a podcast or two and see if it is easy to just listen to talking

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:19 (five years ago) Permalink

u using in-ear headphones?

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 03:35 (five years ago) Permalink

yes

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:28 (five years ago) Permalink

i thought those weren't supposed to be good for hearing in general? i certainly find them uncomfortable and tinny.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:37 (five years ago) Permalink

somebody recommended Valerian tea to me for sleep, w/ the caveat that it smells like feet.

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:44 (five years ago) Permalink

my mum used to drink that for her insomnia, she said it helped.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:46 (five years ago) Permalink

i thought those weren't supposed to be good for hearing in general?

I talked to the Kaiser audiologist about this and he was unconcerned.

tried Valerian, that shit fucked me up worse.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:49 (five years ago) Permalink

I am kind of on to a regular sleep regimen but yeah meds are required... I am trying to take solace from the numerous anecdotal stories friends and acquaintances have told me that basically amount to "oh shit yeah I had that and then one day I just woke up and it was gone". A bunch of people have told me this - and it seems more consistent with my lack of physical symptoms, some weird thing that's triggered in the brain and then just rights itself. In the meantime I am really having a difficult time from day to day and even hour to hour but I sort of have to believe this is what's gonna happen... most stories I've heard from people indicate a duration of a couple to a few months. I'm kind of surprised at how common this is actually.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:55 (five years ago) Permalink

and this is not internet anecdotes I'm talking about btw. (my wife has told me to stop googling shit about this and I'm sure that's in my best interest)

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 16:56 (five years ago) Permalink

wife otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 17:13 (five years ago) Permalink

UCSF not calling me back/still don't have an appointment. doctors' schedules are so frustrating. throwing around the word "emergency" seems to be helpful with the psych dept... I'm gonna stop taking this zoloft, it's just not workin for me. feel like all I'm gettin is bad side effects.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 18:36 (five years ago) Permalink

u try st john's wort?

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:05 (five years ago) Permalink

don't combine that one with ssris, iirc

mh, Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:06 (five years ago) Permalink

I have not tried st john's. I talked to the psych nurse and she said just stop taking zoloft altogether if its just giving me the shakes/sweats.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:07 (five years ago) Permalink

SSRIs are notoriously slow-working and adherence to them is terrible partly for this reason (coupled with the side effects you mentioned). if you can bear the side effects at least until you see a doctor next maybe try to keep on it for at least then so he or she can re-evaluate, especially if the anxiety is a main concern. i asked about the starting dose because people with anxiety are erroneously started on the depression starting dose (50) all the time, which causes them to have some of the side effects you describe and discontinue taking them

liljon /bia/ bia (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:12 (five years ago) Permalink

well, that could help i guess xp

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:12 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I can't bear the side effects. It's been 12 days. psych nurse who wrote my prescription said to stop it so that's what I'm doing.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:13 (five years ago) Permalink

she seems more concerned about getting me on a sleep regimen that weans me off the ambien cuz I've been taking more of that than I should, it sounds like

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 19:14 (five years ago) Permalink

I am gonna beat this fucking thing

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 20:23 (five years ago) Permalink

sleep is the most important priority here imo. as somebody said upthread, trying not to think too hard about it is key - that's why I'm a big advocate of good old talk therapy for chronic afflictions. you'll get to a much better place for sure. but for the time being so much has to do with where you're able to put your focus, imo. but that's after sleep. sleep will solve a whole lot of problems.

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 20:46 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm sleeping around 6 hrs a night, but it's all drug induced

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:09 (five years ago) Permalink

psych just offered to sign me up for some general anxiety/discussion group

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:10 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe it will help?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:11 (five years ago) Permalink

I hope so. I am well past the point where I will try absolutely anything.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:11 (five years ago) Permalink

aero otm about prioritizing and talk therapy. definitely go for the group sessions

liljon /bia/ bia (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:32 (five years ago) Permalink

I asked her to sign me up. I don't really know what to expect.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:40 (five years ago) Permalink

kaiser moves so slow and I'm like NOW NOW NOW

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 21:41 (five years ago) Permalink

afternoons are the fucking worst

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 22:49 (five years ago) Permalink

I know how hard it is and I'm really sorry. Have faith if you can; some of us have been to this chasm and come back better than ever, for real.

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 23:34 (five years ago) Permalink

friend of mine found this show and said "ah, now I get what you're going through"

http://www.kcrw.com/media-player/mediaPlayer2.html?type=audio&id=uf121127silence

thx aero

yeah I am trying to be hopeful

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 27 November 2012 23:48 (five years ago) Permalink

I really hope you can find some peace with this man. I've been putting off going to an audiologist about my hearing: I'm supposed to have a punctured eadrum fixed but the surgery scares me and doesnt even guarantee full hearing recovery (and has a risk of worse tinnitus! no thanks), so I'm weighing up that v a hearing aid. Urgh.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 03:36 (five years ago) Permalink

no zoloft today. feel a little physically more together, still kind of shaky. my wife is of the definite opinion that it made me worse and that I look better so that's something.

trying to just cope and act normal, get into a routine

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 17:10 (five years ago) Permalink

now I am the guy that calls the doctor every day to see if there's been any cancellations

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:23 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm gonna get better goddammit

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:46 (five years ago) Permalink

my dad and his partner are constantly emphasizing that I should get into some talk therapy asap (of course, the earliest appt I can get is still a week away). it's weird cuz I didn't feel like I really had any issues before this happened and now I'm like, was I in denial/is there something I was burying? I felt pretty good before this happened, felt like I was ready for a new baby etc. Relationship w/my wife is good, job is good, band was plugging along.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:50 (five years ago) Permalink

ha

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:54 (five years ago) Permalink

anyone know any good vibraphone-heavy albums that do not have a fucking saxophone on them

― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, November 21, 2012 6:28 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Tim Buckley - Dream Letter Live. The timbre of his vocals might be in a covering range for you too?
Also, if Martin Denny was helping go directly to Les Baxter.
And I feel like the orchestral music of Messiaen is full of timbres that could be good concealers.

I really feel for you, man. Thinking of u often.

you only write about... pleassssure (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 19:59 (five years ago) Permalink

xxpost it might be that you were toodling along just fine before all this -- but the anxiety brought on by the tinnitus is something new that, unchecked, can feed into a lot of other aspects of your life. the talk therapy should be really helpful in coralling & managing the anxiety, even if you still have to deal with the tinnitus.

is my guess :)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:01 (five years ago) Permalink

given my recent bout with insomnia I opted to rewatch Into the Night last night since it was on demand.... it's pretty stupid, kinda a weird thing for Landis to do. too much coke probably? very underwritten. it's like the west coast version of After Hours only not as good/interesting. also features Bowie pre-getting-his-teeth fixed.

xp

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:02 (five years ago) Permalink

thx for the suggestions Jon. yeah I have some Les Baxter, altho the recording quality is not good. I've found that classical music tends to have too much silence/too many pauses in it lol

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:04 (five years ago) Permalink

VG otm - you're mentally vulnerable right now, everything is gonna feel 1000x harder to cope with.

Wish nothing but the best for you - it sounds like hell. I'm watching my sister deal with chronic illness, and seeing how tough life is for her right now... I just really feel for you, and your family (I'm sure it's hard on you're pregnant wife, setting you suffer).

just1n3, Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:27 (five years ago) Permalink

she has been really strong through all this. we are getting some help from friends and family, who have helped with our daughter and bringing us food and stuff, for which I am eternally grateful. but my wife has a well of fortitude that is really just unbelievable.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:30 (five years ago) Permalink

that's good to have.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:32 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah she is the best. I am very lucky.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 20:33 (five years ago) Permalink

can someone post me some "hang in there" kitten gifs or something. this is the worst time of the day for me

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 22:59 (five years ago) Permalink

can I listen to Gang Starr and take notes on a conference call at the same time? let's find out

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 23:00 (five years ago) Permalink

now I am the guy that calls the doctor every day to see if there's been any cancellations

This isn't just Kaiser directed but by no means have any compunction about being the squeaky wheel looking for oil. The 'efficiency' of big institutions is indifferent to your specific case and being a pain-in-the-ass is often the only way to get adequate care.

Un monde où tout le monde est heureux, même les riches (Michael White), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 23:09 (five years ago) Permalink

I believe in u shakey. With a firmness that rivals adamantium.

you only write about... pleassssure (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 23:15 (five years ago) Permalink

shakey, if you are a person who can cry it might help you to get some privacy and cry your eyes out. be as self-pitying and furious and afraid as you like, it won't affect anyone else and you'll get rid of some physical and emotional tension. it can be very cathartic. a lot of the horribleness of health problems etc. comes from fighting them, not wanting to accept them, and i think crying can help lead to the surrender that hopefully leads to a bit of peace. i had debilitating chronic fatigue syndrome for several years in my early 20s and when i finally stopped spending all day resisting it things improved, even though i was still physically ill. i am really sorry you're going through this.

estela, Wednesday, 28 November 2012 23:33 (five years ago) Permalink

estela otm

you only write about... pleassssure (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 23:37 (five years ago) Permalink

At the very least, several good long screams into a pillow would be something different to listen to. Continued best wishes/good luck, Shakey.

WilliamC, Thursday, 29 November 2012 00:38 (five years ago) Permalink

time for some daily affirmations

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 16:44 (five years ago) Permalink

I am going to make it through another day with this

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 17:09 (five years ago) Permalink

HELL YEAH YOU ARE

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 17:47 (five years ago) Permalink

took 2 trazadone and half an ambien to go to sleep last night. woke up at like 3:30 - took another half an ambien but it didn't seem to do anything so I just lay there sort of half-asleep until finally dozing off again around 5:00. I understand why the psych nurse has been telling me to cut down the ambien, but this high a dose of trazadone seems to be giving me some weird side effects, maybe I should cut back on that too argh

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 18:20 (five years ago) Permalink

what kind of side effects are u having

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 18:36 (five years ago) Permalink

still a bit jittery, albeit not as bad as before. but also since I've started taking two a night I've noticed my vision is sort of weird - not blurry exactly, but more sensitive to light

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 18:44 (five years ago) Permalink

I guess on the upside they're not as *bad* as before, but still. hopefully you'll eventually get to a new kind of normal once you find the right mix of drugs

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 18:57 (five years ago) Permalink

for a little bit last night while I was in bed I was not aware of the tinnitus, it had merged with the cricket sounds of the noise machine I had and I could let my mind wander about various things, which seemed good even if I wasn't sleeping. and when I was asleep I had dreams, which has not been the case for awhile. so that seems like a positive.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 19:00 (five years ago) Permalink

that's progress!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 19:05 (five years ago) Permalink

so here's a weird thing that happened last night. I was going down the stairs and I noticed that when I put weight down on the balls of my feet and cocked my head to the right, I heard this weird balloon-rubbing sort of sound in my left ear (the one with the tinnitus). It didn't change the tinnitus, but it did it with every step I took. It felt like some weird circulation/pressure thing trying to work itself out. So then I went up and down the stairs a bunch of times, hopped around in the kitchen etc for like 10 minutes.

wtf body

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 21:22 (five years ago) Permalink

also fuck you tinnitus

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 21:23 (five years ago) Permalink

today has been Merle Haggard pretty much all day

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:02 (five years ago) Permalink

merle's good company

that's kinda weird what you said about that pressure feeling in yr ear. no idea what it means though, lol

~it is a mystery~

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:09 (five years ago) Permalink

once i had this crackling in my ear for like a week, every time i moved my head or swallowed. i had an appointment with an audiologist anyway (for ear plugs) and it turns out i had a hair stuck right against my ear drum, so it was acting like a piece of paper against a speaker. she went in with her little camera and tweezers and i was all good.

have a sandwich or ice cream sandwich (Jordan), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:11 (five years ago) Permalink

wow

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:12 (five years ago) Permalink

when I put weight down on the balls of my feet and cocked my head to the right, I heard this weird balloon-rubbing sort of sound in my left ear (the one with the tinnitus). It didn't change the tinnitus, but it did it with every step I took. It felt like some weird circulation/pressure thing trying to work itself out.

That definitely sounds like something physical going on maybe in the eustachean tubes. Almost like whenm you get water in the ears after swimming! I assume all that's been investigated already though? (like in-ear obstructions and etc?)

I know what you mean by it tho - i often get odd noises of all kinds in my head from pressure changes/pops/head tilts/jaw cracks. I guess Ive got used to having a noisy head! :|

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Like for eg if I tip myself upside down (say if I did a handstand or bent over) my head FILLS with a high pressure swooshing, noisy blood-moving-round noise.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:15 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah ENT's checked me out twice, as has an audiologist and they've said my ears are fine - no fluid, blockages, infections, etc. (I am still waiting to get an MRI)

I do have a history of weird sinus things and the physical aspect of this has really mystified me. like if it was just my brain/hearing problems, why does my ear physically feel different? who knows

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:21 (five years ago) Permalink

fwiw I noticed a very subtle similar creaking/balloon-rubbing sort of sound several times in my left ear that corresponded to my walking gait a couple months prior to this happening

maybe it's not related, I dunno

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:24 (five years ago) Permalink

u shd start documenting them and give yr notes to the doctor for yr next appointment, in case there's any pattern

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:25 (five years ago) Permalink

there are sinuses they can only see on MRI so maybe something is going on in one of them. would be sort of unlikely but this whole thing has been so strange

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

when I told the ENT about feeling like my left ear's pressure was off/unbalanced he was pretty much just "eh, we don't really understand how these nerves work exactly, could be psychosomatic" etc.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:32 (five years ago) Permalink

God I hate specialists. They can be so dismissive. Mine was dreadful, he told me off for mispronouncing "tinnitus", he was brusque and spoke way too fast and acted like it was NBD to go over complicated surgery discussions. He might do it every day but I bloody dont! Waste of $300 if you ask me. (tho having a fibreoptic camera run up my nose and down my throat and seeing it in full colour on TV was awesome).

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 29 November 2012 23:42 (five years ago) Permalink

he was sympathetic to my sufferin, but I think he was dismissive of anything he couldn't actually see

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 00:00 (five years ago) Permalink

but yeah I feel you

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 00:00 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm gonna be better one day goddammit

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 16:47 (five years ago) Permalink

I got your back dude. It'll happen.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 30 November 2012 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

had a weird night's sleep - only took one trazadone and half an ambien (the smallest amt of drugs I've taken to sleep in maybe a month). I know I slept cuz I had dreams but seemed like I was waking up every hour or two

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 17:09 (five years ago) Permalink

Waylon Jennings today. stuff with a background of clean acoustic guitar strumming seems good lately.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 18:04 (five years ago) Permalink

i approve of yr tinnitus playlist so far

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 30 November 2012 18:05 (five years ago) Permalink

I listened to Dolly's two recent bluegrass albums a shit-ton this week. more stuff that sounds like that needed, I guess

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 November 2012 18:08 (five years ago) Permalink

another day with this bullshit

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 17:08 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah I saw that. Kaiser not really offering me anything like that, unfortunately altho were I Dutch I would be seeking that guy's team out...

I feel at least psychologically I'm coping a little better. sleep is fitful but I feel like I'm on a semi-regular routine and def much better off the zoloft. yesterday I went to a craft fair with my mom and the wife and daughter and being in in a crowded space like that with a lot of low-level background noise was helpful for distracting me from the tinnitus ... unfortunately the stress of the tinnitus has resulted in me having random shoulder pain and sinus headaches so there was still that to contend with. I am, uh, getting a lot of backrubs at least.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 17:44 (five years ago) Permalink

I was thinking about how I require constant activity/distractions now and was like, well, nothing more distracting/requiring constant attention than a baby right lol

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 17:48 (five years ago) Permalink

also so yeah bluegrass and country seem to be where it's at for me sonically. shiny, well-recorded stuff (not that I don't appreciate Hank Williams or the Carter Family or a bunch of pre-1950s recordings but they contain a sonic harshness/flatness that I can't really handle right now). If anyone (Aimless?) can recommend more records that sound like Flatt & Scruggs Sing Songs of the Famous Carter Family or the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's Will the Circle Be Unbroken I would much appreciate it thx

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 17:55 (five years ago) Permalink

New Grass Revival?

Jaq, Monday, 3 December 2012 18:09 (five years ago) Permalink

Mr. Jaq suggests: Early Allison Krauss (anything on Rounder) or The Kentucky Colonels for a start.

Jaq, Monday, 3 December 2012 19:19 (five years ago) Permalink

gah woke up every couple hours last night, so irritating

Porter Wagoner today

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 17:01 (five years ago) Permalink

when do you start the talk therapy, Shakey, or has that already begun?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 17:07 (five years ago) Permalink

I have a talking-therapy appt this Thursday - but it's just a regular therapist, not anyone that's specifically familiar with treating tinnitus. I honestly don't know what I'm going to talk about, beyond how irritating the tinnitus is. I am not someone who feels like I have a lot of issues to work out or anything tbh.

my appt with UCSF's tinnitus clinic is not until mid-January, right when the baby is due. so the odds of that being doable/helpful are a bit slim.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 17:10 (five years ago) Permalink

Kaiser basically has no support program for dealing with tinnitus. the last time I saw the audiologist it was basically "you will either get used to it, or it will go away. try not to think about it!"

thanks dude

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 17:11 (five years ago) Permalink

what a bro

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 17:32 (five years ago) Permalink

feel like the most sympathetic Kaiser doc I've seen has been the ENT. altho there were limits to his sympathy too. the others have all been eh what can ya do?

but I guess you don't go to doctors for sympathy right

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:18 (five years ago) Permalink

seems worse today, probably the lack of sleep. feel like the yesterday I was coping a little better, that it wasn't as intrusive.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:19 (five years ago) Permalink

That's infuriating about the audiologist.

Really hope this clears up soon for you.

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:23 (five years ago) Permalink

Whenever you go into one of those offices with a problem that ruins your quality of life but doesn't have a ready prescription you are in for some tough love. I just googled "acupuncture tinnitus" and came up with this fwiw http://dremilykane.com/2002/05/10/top-five-remedies-for-tinnitus/

Roadside Prisunic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:32 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm already gagging at the description of Eustacian Tube Drainage

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:35 (five years ago) Permalink

"put your hand in your mouth. further. now, reach further. good. now further. if you can feel your lungs you've gone too far."

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Using those Walkman-type devices with little earphones that go into the canal are particularly dangerous.

This frustrates me when I read warnings like this. Do they mean even at low volumes? Because the implication is that they'll cause damage no matter what.

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:39 (five years ago) Permalink

I asked the audiologist about dangers of wearing my ipod in-ear headphones for like 6+ hrs a day and he said "eh as long as it's not too high a volume and you rest your ears in between a bit, not a problem"

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:40 (five years ago) Permalink

Found another website where they were discussing that drainage section and also this gizmo: http://www.earpopper.com/

Roadside Prisunic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:41 (five years ago) Permalink

oh I've got no problem with sinus drainage stuff - had big sinus issues in the past and used them and they totally work. problem here is that I am not congested/my main sinus passages are clear. which is really weird, cuz I still feel like there's this pressure in my ear. of course, the head has a lot of sinus cavities, I suppose it's possible something got into one and has messed me up, but that would be pretty unusual/unexpected.

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:43 (five years ago) Permalink

xp Thanks, good to know. I keep mine pretty quiet, and my earbuds are pretty uncomfortable, so I take them out for a rest anyway.

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:43 (five years ago) Permalink

I use earbuds also, but try not to play too loud, take frequent breaks, sometimes only use one ear. Once I read something like that snippet, got scared and stopped listening but then in a few days there was a giant *pop* in one ear and I thought this is it, I've run off the cartoon cliff, looked down into the arroyo, where soon I'll be a puff of dust. But it wasn't the onset of tinnitus, just pressure from worsening allergies.

Roadside Prisunic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 18:58 (five years ago) Permalink

never heard of this before. sounds sort of scary (and not offered by Kaiser, of course)

Neural Therapy
An injection technique pioneered in Germany about 30 years ago, mostly for pain control. A very safe analgesic, usually 1 or 2% Procaine, is placed in specific “trigger points”. In the case of tinnitus, the trigger points will be similar to the acupuncture points, mostly around the ears. The idea is to “reset” and correct the nerve impulses which convey information from the outside world to the brain. Most doctors in the U.S. skilled in this technique were trained by Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt, MD.

of course, I'm getting an MRI next week, so if that turns up anything who knows what they'll suggest

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 19:08 (five years ago) Permalink

gah it never ends

Ralph Stanley and Ernest Tubb today

Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 18:34 (five years ago) Permalink

buddy, i feel ya - dont have tinnitus but do have some other chronic conditions i cant seem to tame no matter what, and it is really, really frustrating

Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 7 December 2012 01:00 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah, I vascillate between trying to be optimistic that this will go away/I will get better and just thinking well fuck this is how things are now, guess I should just learn to cope. the latter is sort of depressing.

Twerkin in a coal mine (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 7 December 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

it'll get better. I have faith.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 7 December 2012 16:42 (five years ago) Permalink

so last night I smoked a little weed after dinner and while being high was actually really unpleasant/irritating when I went to bed (after taking my other sleep meds) I slept continuously for way longer (6.5 hrs) than I have in months. don't know what to make of that really. tinnitus still annoying as ever.

Twerkin in a coal mine (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 7 December 2012 20:05 (five years ago) Permalink

I got it while working in a CD store, doctor drained earwax and the t. vanished, for a while. But every sound was *so* clear, ears so vulnerable without the wax and I stupidly didn't wear plugs for a while. (George Martin also wrote about messing up his waxless, naked ears with headphones and studio monitors). Nevertheless, it's never been nearly as bad, since that drainage (which I haven't yet repeated; apparently the wax can provide some protection). The first drainage was 40-odd years of wax, so maybe I'll wait another 20 or so.

dow, Friday, 7 December 2012 20:25 (five years ago) Permalink

Also, cutting back on salt seems to make a difference.

dow, Friday, 7 December 2012 20:26 (five years ago) Permalink

another day of this bullshit

MRI appointment at 12:30 today

Twerkin in a coal mine (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 10 December 2012 16:33 (five years ago) Permalink

Good luck. Hopefully this will yield at least some useful information about what's going on.

schwantz, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:49 (five years ago) Permalink

^^^

thinking of u Shakey!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:51 (five years ago) Permalink

well that was weird

Twerkin in a coal mine (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 00:26 (five years ago) Permalink

?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 00:32 (five years ago) Permalink

The MRI?

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 01:36 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah they put my head in a tube for 20 minutes and then things spin around you and make really loud beeping sounds

Twerkin in a coal mine (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 02:52 (five years ago) Permalink

Came across a couple of things that I hope will help:
http://www.vavsoft.com/Tinnitus_Tamer.html

Also, apparently head/neck position, particularly when sleeping, can affect/cause tinnitus (the 8th cranial nerve, or so I'm told). A visit to a chiropractor may help (and theoretically, the MRI would have caught this).

Wishing you the best of luck!

and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 16:40 (five years ago) Permalink

another hearing test yesterday. results same as the first, my hearing is fine all the way up to 8,000 Hz (which is the highest level they test for). saw psych on Tuesday as well, dude basically said I don't appear to have any issues apart from the tinnitus, which I seem to be dealing with as well as possible and said I could continue on my sleep med regimen with no problem. still waiting for MRI results... at this point feeling pretty despondent/cursed that I seem to have this thing that has no identifiable cause. just makes me feel like I'm crazy. 85% of tinnitus cases are accompanied by hearing loss, so I'm in that weird 15% range - but it also hasn't been caused by a head injury or infection or blockage so wtf. my fear is that the MRI will turn up either nothing or something terrible, and not relishing the prospect of either result.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 13 December 2012 17:03 (five years ago) Permalink

god I'm so sick of this

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 13 December 2012 20:52 (five years ago) Permalink

fuck. they want me to get a follow-up MRI.

1. There is a question of a 6 mm mass at the right pontomedullary
junction. Further evaluation with contrast is recommended with
thin cut axial and coronal sequences at the level of the pons and
medulla. A repeat axial T2 fiesta sequence centered slightly
lower than on the current examination may also be helpful.
2. Mild mucosal sinus disease noted.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 16:38 (five years ago) Permalink

This could be good, though, right? It could and probably will be a totally fixable problem. And you won't have to feel like you're crazy anymore.

just1n3, Friday, 14 December 2012 16:57 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah at least they've maybe found 'something'? which is some kinda progress I guess?

ps - the only word that stands out in that is 'fiesta' :)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 16:59 (five years ago) Permalink

I don't know what to make of this news tbh. there are a lot of qualifiers in the e-mail from my doctor that accompanied this news (that they aren't certain it's anything, usually they're benign and no treatment is required/recommended, he doesn't say whether or not this is a likely cause of my tinnitus)

its very frustrating. and I'm freaked out, of course

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 17:18 (five years ago) Permalink

that's a pretty understandable reaction

Jesus, the Total Douchebag (DJP), Friday, 14 December 2012 17:21 (five years ago) Permalink

ps - the only word that stands out in that is 'fiesta' :)

Probably the least expected/appropriate word to be used in a medical diagnosis.

Really hope these findings represent progress (in the form of treatment, and eradication of tinnitus.)

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, 14 December 2012 17:27 (five years ago) Permalink

The FIESTA (fast imaging employing steady-state acquisition) ultrafast pulse sequence provides high-resolution images with outstanding image contrast and high signal-to-noise ratio relative to the single-shot fast spin-echo (SSFSE) sequence. The purpose of this article is to illustrate the utility of the FIESTA sequence in oncologic imaging.

Jesus, the Total Douchebag (DJP), Friday, 14 December 2012 17:33 (five years ago) Permalink

got the follow-up MRI scheduled for monday so at least there were no delays there. not really looking forward to dealing with neurology dept, altho at least my wife has lots of experience with them.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 17:37 (five years ago) Permalink

in a weird way I just feel like, somewhat angrily, going about my normal business as much as I can cuz what can I even do with this information, nothing really.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 18:06 (five years ago) Permalink

well that sorta seems like the only thing you can do. stressing yourself out isn't going to help you know any more than what you know now. but I totally sympathize, like how do u get to that place of not worrying, easier said than done, I know.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 18:12 (five years ago) Permalink

Wow, that's interesting. Amazing they didn't image the cerebellopontine angles and IAC's in detail the first time, given that tinnitus is your only complaint. About the only thing they could hope to find would be an acoustic neuroma or other small mass lesion there. Hope they're not charging you for the second scan.

Is the tinnitus right sided? Contact with nearby structures can sometimes sensitize an otherwise normally functioning cranial nerve. The commonest example of that is trigeminal neuralgia, in which the sensory nerve to the face starts to produce excruciating neuralgic pain without sensory loss or other dysfunction, usually because a blood vessel is resting against the nerve. The contact is enough to trigger hyperactivation of the nerve (and thus pain) but not to compress it and produce neuropathy (loss of function). By analogy I guess you could have neuralgic-type overactivity of the vestibulocochlear nerve, which exits at the ponto-medullary junction, producing tinnitus without hearing loss. I've never heard of that, but IANAENT.

If they end up blaming the nodule for your symptoms it should be treatable. Skull base surgery is a big deal in general but there are minimally invasive techniques available for trigeminal neuralgia at least. You'd need a subspecialist neurosurgeon or ENT.

Again by analogy to TGN, treatment for neuralgic pain might help your symptoms. Tegretol is usually first line, but gabapentin or other anticonvulsants might help. If I was your neuro, knowing what you've been through, I'd be willing to try if your symptoms are on the same side as the nodule. No guarantee it would help but might do.

Plasmon, Friday, 14 December 2012 19:50 (five years ago) Permalink

oddly, the tinnitus is actually in my left ear

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 20:23 (five years ago) Permalink

(really appreciate the additional perspective btw)

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 20:26 (five years ago) Permalink

I feel like I am sorta back where I started with this - there is no explanation for why I have tinnitus, and as such my brain will either become habituated to it at some point (not yet, unfortunately), or it will go away. which is not really all that encouraging in my current state but wtf can I do.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 21:04 (five years ago) Permalink

My theory shot down by actual facts! Sigh. Probably would've just made your ENT roll his/her eyes anyway.

The tiny nodule doesn't sound dangerous, in and of itself. MRI often finds tiny incidental flaws in otherwise healthy people. Like news anchors complaining that their pancake makeup looks terrible now that everyone has HDTV, sometimes a little less detail would be nice.

The good news about a normal (or unremarkable, which is the best we can hope for given the likelihood of finding at least one tiny flaws) MRI is that there's no evidence that your symptoms are part of a progressive or permanent disease/condition. As long as everything looks normal, there can be hope that it'll eventually go back to working normally as well.

Fingers crossed for you.

Plasmon, Friday, 14 December 2012 21:43 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah the odds seem low that whatever is there - if it is there at all - is related to my tinnitus. in which case they'll probably say eh we don't know what it is but don't worry about it.

tbh this is a familiar position for me. this is not the first time I have had a major, yet entirely inexplicable, health crisis (this would actually be the third). I should be used to not having an explanation for things by now, I guess.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

stay strong shakey. i'm of the belief that more information is good, though it can be very unsettling to do the learning.

before and after broscience (goole), Friday, 14 December 2012 22:12 (five years ago) Permalink

a couple years ago I abruptly contracted this which was totally alarming/debilitating. no one knew why I got it, and it took a few weeks to properly diagnose it. no cure/medicine for it apart from some meds to control the pain and swelling symptoms. and gradually it just went away, after about a year. why did I get it? who the fuck knows.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 December 2012 22:17 (five years ago) Permalink

blimey.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:19 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey, good luck with your Monday scan.

I developed tinnitus a couple of years ago, along with some hearing loss in the left ear. I always thought it was rock n'roll related, but diagnostic tests (including MRI) said, apparently, nay; that it was likely a viral infection back in the day that caused some damage to the ear nerve, and left the little follicles on permanent vibrate mode. My ENT gave me a slip of paper with the official, Latin name for my condition, but I forget what it was. On the one hand I was glad to hear it wasn't part of some progressive disease; on the other, I was told there was nothing to be done. So I'm working on getting used to the thousand high-pitched crickets I hear constantly... I had a car accident at age 20 that messed up my ulnar nerve and set up an unpleasant kind of electric buzzing feeling in my left hand... so I have some practice with something of the ilk, which has helped, but still...

Anyhow, I wish you the best.

collardio gelatinous, Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:43 (five years ago) Permalink

fuck you tinnitus

follow-up MRI today

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:27 (five years ago) Permalink

good luck Shakey

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:52 (five years ago) Permalink

my worst fear is that they tell me the MRI shows me something that a) is the cause of my tinnitus (like nerve damage or something) and b) cannot be treated

best case scenario is, I guess, that they don't find anything significant and still have no explanation for the tinnitus. I'm kind of past the point where I expect them to find anything they actually can treat.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:54 (five years ago) Permalink

fingers crossed, dude.

EZ Snappin, Monday, 17 December 2012 16:54 (five years ago) Permalink

not to be suzy-glass-half-full but there's also option c which is that they find something and can address it. <3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 17 December 2012 17:00 (five years ago) Permalink

If they end up blaming the nodule for your symptoms it should be treatable.

this is what I'm really concerned about - how likely is this

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 17:14 (five years ago) Permalink

I guess it's not really likely - the full text from my ENT is below:

your MRI shows a normal exam for the left side - there is no mass/tumor or other lesion on or near the nerves of hearing on the left side.

Incidentally, a possible small mass was seen on the right side. Masses in this area are commonly benign. The radiologist recommends another more detailed MRI focusing on this area to better evaluate and confirm this finding.

A mild amount of allergies/mucosal inflammation was noted in your nose and sinuses.

I will go ahead and order the recommended MRI for you. I have also copied the conclusion of the MRI report for you below. If the new MRI does show a small mass on the left side, we can reach out to our neurology/neurosurgery doctors for advice, but most often, these lesions are monitored (usually be checking another MRI in 6 or more months), and often no intervention is recommended unless they are growing.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 17:31 (five years ago) Permalink

good luck, Shakey!

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 17 December 2012 17:33 (five years ago) Permalink

on a different note - bluegrass does not seem to be very popular on filesharing sites, unfortunately. if anybody has a bunch of shit they could, say, dropbox to me, that would be much appreciated

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 17:47 (five years ago) Permalink

talked to my ENT again...

sinus symptoms – mild inflammation, likely not the cause of this type of tinnitus but who knows. Recommends Flonase (once or twice a day) + Oceanspray (throughout the day) which should reduce inflammation after a month.
MRI results – possible mass is not in an area related to hearing on the left side. Left side does not show any growths or damage. Neurologist input recommended in case there is anything being missed or there is some underlying problem. Main issue will be if mass is growing, which will require a follow-up in 6 mos. Is possible mass, if it’s there at all, has been there since birth or for years. If mass requires treatment, options are surgery and radiation, both of which require serious consideration of pros/cons.
Tinnitus in general – in cases where no direct cause is discernible, resolution varies widely. previous patient had it for roughly a year, over the course of which it diminished and faded, although was eventually accompanied by hearing loss. Follow-up hearing test recommended in 3-6 months

so yeah. off to the radiologist again in an hour or so

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 17 December 2012 21:45 (five years ago) Permalink

Good luck, bro.

schwantz, Monday, 17 December 2012 21:54 (five years ago) Permalink

Bee Gees today

god second MRI was so annoying, had to wait an hour in the waiting room. on the plus side, when it was done the radiologist said he'd taken the scan from three different angles and didn't see anything.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 16:28 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm sorry there's no magic wand I could wave nor an obvious & treatable physical issue your doctors could take care of for you.

But at least you have the Bee Gees.

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 16:31 (five years ago) Permalink

I am trying very hard to maintain a positive attitude about the lack of a diagnosable cause, and that if I can just learn to cope with this it will get better/go away. trying to focus on the excitement of new babby, rather than my bullshit, even tho I am reminded of it every second of every day

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 16:58 (five years ago) Permalink

new babby is a good thing to focus on

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 17:38 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm gonna get through this goddammit

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 22:06 (five years ago) Permalink

you can do it

the Bee Gees and Dolly and bluegrass will help you! and new babby!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

I don't mean to hijack this thread -- much love to you, Shakey, and I hope you find comfort -- but lately I have been getting an irregular pulse (for lack of a better word) in my right ear when I have a couple of drinks. Not every time I drink, but only when I drink. Doesn't seem connected to my heartbeat. Googling suggests it might be tinnitus or similar. Anyone ever experience anything like this?

Sax Blatterday (jaymc), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 05:19 (five years ago) Permalink

could be - tinnitus presents in a pretty wide spectrum, so who knows

in other news: another day with this bullshit! the usual 5 hours of heavy sleep followed by a couple hours of tossing and turning and weird dreams. trying to keep a lid on anxiety over this MRI thing. I sort of want this period of tests and questions to just be over so I can just focus on dealing with/enduring the tinnitus.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 16:57 (five years ago) Permalink

well not sort of, I definitely want it to be over

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 17:01 (five years ago) Permalink

good luck, Shakey.
- a fellow sufferer

Zweitgeist (doo dah), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:26 (five years ago) Permalink

@jaymc: Pulsatile tinnitus can be a warning sign of bad things (increased intracranial pressure, abnormal blood vessels -- but in those cases it usually syncs with the pulse.

Weird auditory experiences are not rare among the wider spectrum of weird sensory experiences. As long as you're not losing hearing or feeling off balance I wouldn't expect a sinister cause. If it's something that doesn't bother you too much or too often, all the better.

Probably a good idea to mention this to your doctor but I doubt s/he'll get too excited.

Plasmon, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 18:28 (five years ago) Permalink

Thanks for the response -- yeah, I'll prob make a doc appt., anyway.

Sax Blatterday (jaymc), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 19:36 (five years ago) Permalink

gah fuck you tinnitus

I dunno how many times I can listen to the same 200 bluegrass songs

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 22:20 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey I think I said it earlier - I mean, if your battle is to conquer tinnitus, all power to you. I learned to live with mine, and now, even though I'm certain it's louder than it was initially (I stand in front of a very loud drummer on about 1/3 of the nights I spend all year), I never notice it. "Adjust to this as reality and learn to be ok with it" was a winning strategy for me personally, and not one that I'm secretly resentful about or anything - I am cool with a ringing in my right ear. Doesn't bother me any more or cost me a minute of sleep. I got here through a process of "ok, this is reality, no point in being mad that the sky's blue no matter how I feel about blue." I recommend this strategy - I would/will do the same thing if I find myself facing, say, chronic pain, for which I feel tinnitus has prepared me in the nick of time, because my hand has not felt right for a year now.

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 23:03 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe it's yr left hand :)

(sorry)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 23:05 (five years ago) Permalink

"Adjust to this as reality and learn to be ok with it"

yeah that's where I'm at and I'm trying, I swear. feel like I keep getting derailed by taking more tests to find out what it is (this MRI has definitely freaked me out), at this point I'm ready to accept that it's inexplicable and I just have to work through it. maybe it will go away, maybe I will just learn to deal with it, but I feel like that path looked a little clear/easier to me without worrying about some weird lesion on my brain nahmean

xp

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 23:06 (five years ago) Permalink

clearER

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 23:07 (five years ago) Permalink

like okay if we've exhausted all explanations for it, then the path forward is just management and goddammit I am strong enough that I will do that

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 23:49 (five years ago) Permalink

and you will. obv extra "is there something physically wrong with my brain" stuff, that is a stressor you do not need. but I can seriously tell you: you will get to a point (quicker than you think!) where it won't bug you any more than, say, the callous that most of us form on our middle finger from using a pen. seriously that level of "I don't even notice it."

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 20 December 2012 00:28 (five years ago) Permalink

thx bro

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 December 2012 00:36 (five years ago) Permalink

The MRI is normal - there are NO tumors or masses. The area in question appears to be part of a normal structure called "choroid plexus" (this is the tissue that produces spinal fluid).

*whew*

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:01 (five years ago) Permalink

It's not a tumor!

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:10 (five years ago) Permalink

lol

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:13 (five years ago) Permalink

Phew! I wasn't sure if you'd laugh or hate me for that.

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:16 (five years ago) Permalink

Posey's been around slightly longer, yeah?

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:43 (five years ago) Permalink

lol wrong thread

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 December 2012 21:39 (five years ago) Permalink

she has been around a little longer than late September, yeah

GIMME SOME REGGAE (DJP), Thursday, 20 December 2012 21:40 (five years ago) Permalink

the saga continues urrgh

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 21 December 2012 20:39 (five years ago) Permalink

I can only echo aero and say you do honestly get used to it. in fairness I guess I've had a lot more time to do so, having had this since childhood but yeah mines worse than ever as well AND I have hearing loss and yet most times I don't find it bothersome. there are passing moments I feel like I have a tin head full of angry bees but its never constant. hang in there x

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Friday, 21 December 2012 20:53 (five years ago) Permalink

it's so weird to have gone through all these tests/medical rigamorole and come out the other side pretty much back where I started. there's been no change in my tinnitus, I still have these weird physical sensations in my ear associated with it, and I have no explanation... sort of feel like getting stoned, wonder if I'm going to regret this...

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, 22 December 2012 03:37 (five years ago) Permalink

you'll have to tell us!

i wish we could at least record these sounds. i don't know, maybe then we could do a study of the different frequencies, volume levels and textures. we could do some sampling. we could play them through our stereos and thus have, at least for a while, our friends and family members understand, maaan.

i wish mine were in the key of C#, at least.

collardio gelatinous, Saturday, 22 December 2012 04:30 (five years ago) Permalink

wondering if anyone here has read this:

http://www.zonebooks.org/images/books/SCHW_MAK.jpeg

i'm thinking of getting it. if i'm going to live with the phenomenon, might as well get some erudition out of it.

collardio gelatinous, Saturday, 22 December 2012 04:40 (five years ago) Permalink

the grind continues.... so up and down from day to day. sometimes it's like it's not bothering me and then it comes back with a vengeance. really messes with my emotional state.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 December 2012 19:53 (five years ago) Permalink

it will pass! those physical sensations in my experience are a side-effect of focusing real hard on your EAR - like, prior to this, you probably never asked yourself: "how does my ear feel?" now your focus in on your ears a lot, and there's a sound-prompt, so you feel like your perception is related to the sound. lol fuck the earth, just typing this I'm suddenly hyper-conscious of how my ear feels

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 27 December 2012 20:09 (five years ago) Permalink

physical sensations in my experience are a side-effect of focusing real hard on your EAR

it's entirely possible, given that the ENT + MRIs didn't show anything. I dunno what to think anymore really. it is weird how much it is tied to my mental state - if I'm not thinking about it, it's not so bad! but then I think about it, and it gets bad.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 December 2012 21:31 (five years ago) Permalink

I wonder what they will have to tell me at UCSF. still two weeks away unfortunately :(

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 28 December 2012 18:28 (five years ago) Permalink

*sigh*

some days I think I'm getting better and then I think I'm just kidding myself

the inability to relax is really the worst thing, I just require constant activity

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 31 December 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

very much looking forward to a day I can just sit in silence

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 31 December 2012 23:28 (five years ago) Permalink

this is why you gotta focus on the relaxing and not on the ears. it is hard I know. do you play? playing piano basically saved my life.

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 1 January 2013 00:46 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm playing acoustic gtr around the house for like an hour each day, it's a pretty good distraction

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 1 January 2013 01:38 (five years ago) Permalink

time for my daily affirmations

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 2 January 2013 16:19 (five years ago) Permalink

fake it til you make it Shakey Mo you will get there

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 2 January 2013 16:31 (five years ago) Permalink

Lay in bed this mornin and noticed mine for the first time in a while. I then had a curious realisation: I spend a lot of time "in my head", like really thinking about stuff, daydreaming, silently talking to myself, whatever you wanna name it.

And when I'm doing that Im not noticing the ringing. I suddenly wondered if that was my coping mechanism and thus why Ive been so inner-worldy for much of my life!

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 3 January 2013 00:19 (five years ago) Permalink

music in my mental landscape helps a lot too

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 3 January 2013 00:20 (five years ago) Permalink

I usually have songs running through my head (pretty much always have ever since I was a child). and yeah if I'm focusing intently on doing a particular task I don't really notice it... but it's exhausting. I feel like time is the only thing on my side, but it feels like so long already (3 months!)

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 16:19 (five years ago) Permalink

trying to think of each day as being one more day closer to being better

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

Focusing on a task is the oldest and best way to push feelings and sensations to the back of the line. Even if the task is just, like, 1200-piece jigsaw puzzles or knitting or w/e, it could be meditative and a great tool.

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Thursday, 3 January 2013 17:08 (five years ago) Permalink

tiiiiiiiime
is on my side
yes it is

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 19:42 (five years ago) Permalink

in the meantime today is sucking

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 19:42 (five years ago) Permalink

my mom got me this. she is trying to help, in her way. what can it hurt I guess.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:02 (five years ago) Permalink

okay so I scrolled through that whole site, what the hell is it exactly?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:17 (five years ago) Permalink

it's... a book?

Angel Haze is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:21 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe you use it to smack yourself in the face, distracting yourself from your tinnitus?

Angel Haze is my hero (DJP), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:22 (five years ago) Permalink

it's a magical system in book form!

yeah I know

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:28 (five years ago) Permalink

that's my mom for ya

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:28 (five years ago) Permalink

aw man I was hoping it was some kinda herbal enema system or something, lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:29 (five years ago) Permalink

so many testimonials though, shakey. i mean

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:30 (five years ago) Permalink

I want to believe

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:36 (five years ago) Permalink

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE RESULTS

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Aw, sweet of your mom to dig up this stuff for you Shakey. The link feels a little iffy, but I personally need to find something -anything- that even pretends to alleviate the symptoms. The ENT was very much "there's nothing to be done" about it, but I'd like to at least drink a daily herbal tea, or wear earmuffs to bed, or something, so that I can feel a bit more like an agent in all this.

Have been sick at home this week with flu-like symptoms and have noticed the tinnitus more than ever. I'm hoping some of the apparent increase in volume is due to the flu somehow, and will abate somewhat when I get better.

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, tbh.

collardio gelatinous, Friday, 4 January 2013 15:20 (five years ago) Permalink

aw man I feel you. I am very much in the same boat re: "nothing to be done", it's very frustrating. it's such an endurance test. otoh every single person I have talked to who's gone through this says "you get used to it"/"it goes away", without exception. so I try to take some daily solace in that.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 January 2013 16:44 (five years ago) Permalink

gah and now wife is super-sick (and super-close to delivery) gotta leave work to take kid to see Snow White so wife can get some rest. fuck. I cannot catch a goddamn break.

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 January 2013 17:31 (five years ago) Permalink

Hope she feels better soon (to extent possible, of course, if on the verge of delivery). Hang in there Shakey, we're rooting for you.

collardio gelatinous, Saturday, 5 January 2013 02:40 (five years ago) Permalink

lol @ the LARGE PRINT of this book quel surprise

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, 5 January 2013 02:55 (five years ago) Permalink

I have never tried so hard not to give a shit about something

If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 6 January 2013 02:42 (five years ago) Permalink

LOL I will steal that. Super-OTM.

Had a very bad night last night. Very bad. Sinus infection has increased the volume, and this fed right into a nice little spiral of depressive thoughts I'd been having in past days and well... suffice it to say I was failing miserably at not giving a shit.

Spent today watching comedy youtubes with my son (who's also fighting a flu), Three Stooges, Marx Bros, Andy Kaufman, and then a bunch of music ones. Everything was funny and beautiful and I felt grateful that there is indeed still a respite, that the ringing doesn't ruin everything, and that there are truly far worse things to be afflicted by.

This is going to be hard, but we can handle it.

collardio gelatinous, Sunday, 6 January 2013 06:04 (five years ago) Permalink

Oh, and I'm going to try leaving music or TV on tonight when I go to bed. I suppose when I get my tinnitus black belt I'll be able to do without such aids, but right now I'm glad to reach for anything that helps.

collardio gelatinous, Sunday, 6 January 2013 06:09 (five years ago) Permalink

Best wishes to you both, I really know how hard it can be to cope with and can only re-echo myself and Aero and say it really will get better with time - it may not go away but your brain will adjust. It sucks massively that all we can do is "cope" with this insidious malady rather than cure it, that said. If I knew for a second the posited ear surgery I need would cure my tinnitus I'dve done it in a flash months ago, but the risks sheet suggested it could get worse! So, I'm reluctant to meddle.

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Sunday, 6 January 2013 07:34 (five years ago) Permalink

Thanks Trayce, that's helpful to hear. Very helpful. And last night went better than the one before.

collardio gelatinous, Monday, 7 January 2013 05:45 (five years ago) Permalink

would be cool if this wasn't accompanied by stress/back pain

altho feel like I've been dealing marginally better with it over the last few days. I dunno if it's getting fainter or if I've just been trying more successfully to ignore it

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 00:03 (five years ago) Permalink

No sleep tonight for me. It's just really loud tonight; has been this whole week. It's only in the last week or so that the volume reached this can't-fall-asleep level, so I'm really struggling trying to adjust, trying not to panic. This thread, though, Shakey, I must say, is a great help. It's a balm to my anxious soul.

I've been dealing with sinusitis the past couple of weeks so I went to my doctor today and, lo and behold, he found fluid in my left ear (where the tinnitus is). I was thrilled to hear that, because it suggests that maybe, just maybe, this elevated volume is a product of the increased pressure... and that with antibiotics it will subside.... Please let it be so.

collardio gelatinous, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 08:20 (five years ago) Permalink

I had such a great attitude all of today... wish it carried over into the night-time more!

collardio gelatinous, Tuesday, 8 January 2013 08:24 (five years ago) Permalink

I've been taking trazadone+ambien to get to sleep for the past 3 months. sucks and I hate it but otherwise I just don't fall asleep.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 16:54 (five years ago) Permalink

you need a prescription for those, obviously (and these drugs affect different people differently...)

fluid in the year is treatable, which is good news, so hopefully dealing with that will ease yr symptoms

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 16:55 (five years ago) Permalink

thanks ... we shall see!

ok so today i got hooked up with some chinese medicinal tea, made from a variety of herbs based on my 'pulse diagnosis' (this is all very new for me). i also started researching some meditation/mindfulness trainings nearby. i do think i want to 'befriend' tinnitus as much as possible.

on the western front: i did book an appointment with a doctor who, i was told, is new england's only tinnitus specialist. only problem is the earliest opening she had was january 2014. meantime, i have the ambien on standby, but i've allowed myself a bit of leeway this week in terms of sleep: told folks at work i might just take the rest of the week to sort all of this out, and get my immune system strong again. i feel extremely fortunate that i'm able to do that.

collardio gelatinous, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 05:07 (five years ago) Permalink

January 2014?! Best healthcare in the world...

schwantz, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 05:09 (five years ago) Permalink

i know, right? this is why, in the meantime, i'm quite willing to drink this viscous, nearly black, bitter-as-fuck qigong potion.

collardio gelatinous, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 05:42 (five years ago) Permalink

(btw a coworker of mine suffered with migraines for years until she went to this herbalist... i gotta temper the expectations though!)

collardio gelatinous, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 05:44 (five years ago) Permalink

Shakey, wondering how your wife is doing (and you!). How far is she supposed to be from delivery?

Things that have been helping me sleep, at least a few hours per night, in the last few days:

#1. Relax around the tinnitus more; try "to make it my friend" (odd as that sounds). Just trying to accept it rather than fight it. (Note: this is very much a work in progress. I go through ups and downs, but I like to think the general overall direction is slowly, subtly, up).

#2. Not try too hard to sleep. If the ringing's feeling very loud when I close my eyes, and it's keeping me up, I'll sit up in bed, turn on the lights, and read a book or watch a slow, ponderous movie or something. Of course, background music or noise of some sort (e.g. vaporizer) helps.

#3. Drink valerian tea.

#4. Take some whiffs of some aromatic oil blend (no idea what it is except it's called Sleepy Time and I found it at Whole Foods), just to get some pleasant other sensory input. I think to do this properly you're meant to set up an infuser of some sort, but I'm doing this lo-fi and dabbing some drops on a bandanna, which I then clutch like Linus).

It's funny, I've never been particularly New Agey (in fact am one of those more than glad to poke fun), but tinnitus has me up against a wall and I'm willing to try anything, Cartesian intellectual pride be damned!).

collardio gelatinous, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 04:19 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah what's news with Babby Mo

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 04:24 (five years ago) Permalink

Babby is doing good - it's only been a week, but so far he's much mellower than I remember babby #1 being (ie, will sleep for 4 hours at a stretch if we let him, feeds well, etc.)

had my appt with UCSF yesterday, which was good. they didn't give me a magic bullet or anything but talked to me about what is likely going on and what I am in for - basically aiding the habituation process. I am already doing a lot of the things they recommend, but I may check in with one of their psychologists to help with relaxation techniques etc. my doc went into detail about how tinnitus taps into the limbic system and perpetuates itself even in the absence of external stimuli on the auditory nerve etc. which was very interesting. I don't have any hearing loss at this stage - my tinnitus is around the 9000 Hz range (I haven't looked up what note on the scale this is yet, but high C is 4000 Hz iirc?), but I may be in for losing this frequency in my left ear. which I don't really care about, frankly, since it's so far on the high end it's not really in the range in which useful information is communicated to the ear. in the meantime my tinnitus is basically unchanged, just trying to ignore it, go about my daily tasks. and uh get over this cold I have. finding relaxing activities that distract me are still a challenge, I do really miss being able to sit in silence or walk in nature without noticing this goddamn sound but what can I do... it's a process. evidently a potentially long one.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 17 January 2013 21:25 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah, the highest key on a piano is a little above 4000 Hz i believe

keef qua keef (Jordan), Thursday, 17 January 2013 21:31 (five years ago) Permalink

Congratulations on babby #2, Shakey! Glad to hear all are well.

BTW I'm finding (to my dismay) that coffee seems to turn up the volume on the ole' T -not horribly, but noticeably. Thus, I'm trying to keep it down to one cup per day at most.

collardio gelatinous, Friday, 18 January 2013 03:16 (five years ago) Permalink

alcohol inflames mine like a bitch.

Manti and the Catfish (Trayce), Friday, 18 January 2013 05:57 (five years ago) Permalink

goin back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off w babby. the tinnitus grind continues ... habituation process can be quite lengthy, apparently.

*sigh*

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:07 (five years ago) Permalink

trying to get an appointment with one of UCSF's therapists who specializes in tinnitus... with babby I am worried about getting enough sleep, de-stressing.

I really want to talk with them more about the habituation process and how the unconscious/conscious aspects of it work. like I get that on the conscious level I need to work on not letting it bother me etc. but at the unconscious level what goes on... does the brain just gradually learn to unconsciously tune it out, and then you only hear it when you consciously think about it...? or something? and I assume that that's impacted by how well your managing it consciously, but it's pretty hard for me to constantly, consciously thinking "DON'T THINK ABOUT THIS". urgh all so perplexing.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 21:45 (five years ago) Permalink

I would assume it's similar to how you can't smell something weird after breathing it for 5 mins, but I am not a doctor.

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 21:46 (five years ago) Permalink

right. I just feel like it's taking so long. was bummed to learn that the habituation process can take "anywhere from a few months to 1-2 years"

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 21:48 (five years ago) Permalink

I sorry, Shakes. :(

grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 21:53 (five years ago) Permalink

I cling to the notion that no matter what this will get better, this is just my lot to to endure and one day I'll look back on this and think wtf that was crazy

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 22:09 (five years ago) Permalink

one day I will be over this

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 24 January 2013 16:48 (five years ago) Permalink

Hope you do Shakey, that's the spirit! (Had a mild temporary case of ringing-ear myself for a while myself last night & thought of this thread)

Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 24 January 2013 17:43 (five years ago) Permalink

Stay strong, Shakey.

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 24 January 2013 17:44 (five years ago) Permalink

chronic back pain from the stress of this the last week or so... find myself wondering, does it just become easier to consciously ignore it (which seems to be what I expend a fair amount of my mental energy on these days) or does the unconcious mind take over at some point and tune it out? The preoccupation with it is the real problem.

seeing one of UCSF's "cognitive behavioral" therapists on Friday. I am not sure what that means.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 16:36 (five years ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

CBT is, as i understand it, p much the dominant mode of psychotherapy these days. focused more on what you feel and think now and what you're going to do about it, rather than what mommy and daddy did to you

as this thing hit out of nowhere, they are probably the better people to talk to. hope it goes well!

goole, Monday, 28 January 2013 18:23 (five years ago) Permalink

my dad bought me a bag of sexist fortune cookies. other than that, he's an upstanding guy

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 18:24 (five years ago) Permalink

Cochrane reviews have found no evidence that CBT is effective for tinnitus, although there appears to be an effect on management of associated depression and quality of life in this condition

yeah I need this

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 18:25 (five years ago) Permalink

jeez keep yo head up shakey mo, just posted some bay area rapps & thought of u

beez in the katz (zvookster), Monday, 28 January 2013 19:29 (five years ago) Permalink

goddammit therapist cancelled my appt today and I had to reschedule for next wednesday

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 1 February 2013 19:34 (five years ago) Permalink

sorry to hear that. I think I said early that getting the mental health picture set is how I coped. one thing I'd strongly advise against is reading descriptions of what various therapies are "about" and picking based on whether you imagine yourself as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy partisan or whatever. Finding a therapist with whom you can build trust is everything imo. It doesn't really matter much what kind of therapy they're practicing. You are coping with stress & with a major adjustment. It takes a while, but accepting "I have to cope with this" as a starting point (as opposed to trying to find a cure - which you can also do! but it oughtn't be your focus imo, ymmv) will afford you much relief, or may. It did me. I still have two arms, two legs, and all my talents, such as they are, and I reminded myself of that shit for a good long while until, in conjunction w/heavy therapy, I felt better.

CBT is, as i understand it, p much the dominant mode of psychotherapy these days. focused more on what you feel and think now and what you're going to do about it, rather than what mommy and daddy did to you

grrrr ok if yr Archie Bunker I guess other therapeutic approaches are "what mommy and daddy did to you" but if yr actually interested in human behavior/response then strawmanning therapeutic modalities is maybe not a great look, ok off soapbox now

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 1 February 2013 19:42 (five years ago) Permalink

was looking forward to this first meeting regardless of the modality tbh, I was just eager to finally talk to someone who specializes in this kind of thing (my previous UCSF appt was with the audiologist, which was helpful, but that's different from a therapist). couldn't really find a kaiser therapist with any experience dealing specifically with tinnitus and the stress related to it etc

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 1 February 2013 19:52 (five years ago) Permalink

I do feel like I am at least functional now, which is good, but emotionally/psychologically I am just not really in a good place

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 1 February 2013 19:54 (five years ago) Permalink

see I would say never mind whether the therapist has a tinnitus specialty. mine had to look it up, it wasn't her deal at all, but that actually turned out to be a big plus: she was able to hear me describe why it was ruining my fuckin' life and translate my pretty heavily focused view of the situation into broader terms. tinnitus is its own deal, but essentially it's a huge life adjustment: that's one thing therapy's good for is getting perspective on dealing with life adjustments. To me, at present, I think of tinnitus as a gift; getting old is going to be full of "now my body does this thing it didn't used to do" adjustments. I have a head start on dealing w/that sort of thing now.

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 1 February 2013 20:00 (five years ago) Permalink

(nb I would trade the gift to not be hearing a tone all the time don't get me wrong but one benefit of it is I now also have some aches 'n' pains about which I said when they hit: "ha, nice try, you're not even in the same ballpark as a sudden constant whine")

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 1 February 2013 20:01 (five years ago) Permalink

hmm yeah I can see that. any thoughts on this q I posted earlier: does it just become easier to consciously ignore it (which seems to be what I expend a fair amount of my mental energy on these days) or does the unconcious mind take over at some point and tune it out?

cuz at the moment I feel like I have to tell myself to think about something else every 30 seconds or what have you

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 1 February 2013 20:05 (five years ago) Permalink

it gets a lot easier to ignore - I barely notice it any more, ever. it certainly doesn't cost me any sleep. but part of that's on you imo. acceptance is a bear in this regard because it is not a thing you want to accept. but once you do - once you accept it like you accept plenty of other unfun realities - it gets a LOT easier

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Saturday, 2 February 2013 17:11 (five years ago) Permalink

ah acceptance. feel like I've already been through anger denial bargaining etc. lol

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 3 February 2013 00:52 (five years ago) Permalink

i can't believe someone hasn't already invented something that you can stick in your ear that emits a sound that would counteract this. but maybe that's not how tinnitus works. anyway my wife has had this off and on for years, exacerbated by her cancer treatment (she was given a platinum based drug that seemed to make it worse)

akm, Sunday, 3 February 2013 00:56 (five years ago) Permalink

yeah that's now how it works. there is no actual signal to counteract, it's more like a neurological disorder.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 3 February 2013 00:59 (five years ago) Permalink

Aero otm. Its hard for me to know, bcz ive had it for so much of my life but its only during extreme stress/tiredness that it bugs me anymore.

Manti and the Catfish (Trayce), Sunday, 3 February 2013 04:54 (five years ago) Permalink

working on reminding myself that this is not so bad and I have everything I could ever want (home, family, job, creative outlet etc) but ugh feel like my body is generating stress-pain to give me something else to worry about instead of the tinnitus

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 4 February 2013 19:13 (five years ago) Permalink

must... relax... somehow

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 4 February 2013 19:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Good luck.

Leopard Skin POLL-Box Hat (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 4 February 2013 19:15 (five years ago) Permalink

had my first mtg with the UCSF therapist today. as would be expected, I did most of the talking filling her in on my history etc. seems promising tho.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:47 (five years ago) Permalink

basically the idea is to focus on improving my overall quality of life/helping me cope, and not on somehow "curing" the tinnitus

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:48 (five years ago) Permalink

nice! sounds positive, which is huge with all the dismissive responses that have come before.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:50 (five years ago) Permalink

that's great, Shakey

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:51 (five years ago) Permalink

I have recently discovered that I have a minor case of tinnitus, so I've been reading this thread with interest. It hasn't really negatively effected my life in any way yet, but I am concerned about it getting worse.

In any case, this is highly subjective and maybe placebo, but I try to do a short daily meditation practice for other reasons and I've noticed that it seems to help with the tinnitus.

ryan, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:52 (five years ago) Permalink

but I am concerned about it getting worse

fwiw from what the pros have told me, tinnitus tends to not be a progressive thing

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:56 (five years ago) Permalink

which is huge with all the dismissive responses that have come before

with the kaiser therapists, they mostly seemed concerned about identifying other problems that might have either led to the tinnitus or been stress factors in and of themselves. but I honestly feel like the tinnitus is the sole source of my problems (insomnia, upper back pain, depression, etc.) - I didn't have any of these problems before, and this therapist clearly grasped that, talked a bit about how any serious physical condition can be (and often is) the source of all these other problems, and that the key is learning how to deal with/cope with the physical condition itself.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 20:59 (five years ago) Permalink

which has obviously been a real problem for me

anyway, my "homework" is to make a list of things I enjoy doing despite the tinnitus (I guess this rules out "smoking weed" since I can't handle that anymore lol)

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 21:00 (five years ago) Permalink

that sounds like the beginning of progress to me!

"ILXing" at the top of yr list :)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 21:02 (five years ago) Permalink

does commiserating count?

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 21:05 (five years ago) Permalink

felt like I had a couple almost-okay days this weekend (there was even a brief period where I didn't think about it at all) and then ugh came down with a cold the last couple days and just feel fucked now. normally I would just take a day off and sleep and rest but I can't take ambien all day which means I basically don't sleep until nighttime and even then it's just the typical 6 hours or so agh

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 February 2013 00:41 (five years ago) Permalink

oh yeah man a cold will jack that shit straight up. but once you're well again it sounds like you're on the road to adjustment, which is awesome!

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 14 February 2013 01:05 (five years ago) Permalink

I hope so. I feel like having committed to therapy improved my outlook just by making me feel like I'm being proactive about it, that here is something I can do that will help me, over time. It was kinda demoralizing hearing so much "welp nothin we can do for ya" from various medical pros.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 February 2013 01:18 (five years ago) Permalink

so, could be worse I guess yikes

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 February 2013 17:41 (five years ago) Permalink

it's weird how I feel like I am consciously training my brain to prioritize sources of sound in any given environment. like I will be sitting on the couch and thinking "okay, I hear 1) my baby gurgling, 2) the traffic outside, 3) my daughter running water in the tub, 4) music from downstairs - ringing in my ear is at the bottom of this list, pay attention to all these other things first"

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 14 February 2013 18:32 (five years ago) Permalink

ugh my sleep has just been fucked for like a week now, waking up at 3am every night. makes every day seem so long. I know that I will (am getting?) better but I'm so tired of every day being an endurance test.

Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 00:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Saw MBV recently, and despite very great care with high end earplugs and fingers in ears, the "holocaust note" (ugh must it be called that) has ramped up my tinnitus a bit. I expected as much.

Re that daily mail article, Oliver Sacks mentions similar aural hallucinations/loops in one of his books "man who mistook his wife for a hat" I think, and possibly also in "musicophilia". It can be related to epileptic/stroke type brain activity iirc.

a kissed out red popemobile (Trayce), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 01:07 (five years ago) Permalink

is it sad or awesome that sleeping for 7 hours in a row feels like a massive accomplishment

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 20:38 (five years ago) Permalink

it is awesome without even the tiniest trace of sad, you need to embrace that man

available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:14 (five years ago) Permalink

yes embrace that man

(sorry)

baby steps, shakey <3 and sleep rules

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:17 (five years ago) Permalink

I went to an ear doctor yesterday to talk about my tinnitus and it was such a huge waste of time. I want my 40$ copay back.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:20 (five years ago) Permalink

take 2 aspirin and never darken my door again

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:23 (five years ago) Permalink

did yr tinnitus come back poly...? you mentioned it upthread but it sounded like a temporary thing. and yeah in my exp ear doctors not so good with this. personally, it's been much more productive to see a therapist.

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:30 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah it comes and goes for me but the last few weeks have been pretty rough.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:35 (five years ago) Permalink

oof sorry to hear that. doctors can be good at identifying causes and prescribing drugs if its warranted, but helping you cope doesn't seem to be their specialty. do you have any hearing loss or any other identifiable cause...? (not that that will make it go away, but it will help you get your head around it)

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:49 (five years ago) Permalink

I've had a history of ear infections but so far I don't think hearing loss is a major issue. I mean, I'm sure I've fucked my ears pretty bad with headphones and loud music but I can still hear.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:51 (five years ago) Permalink

I've been told this could be a precursor to hearing loss - and I've fucked with my ears over the years too (performing, recording, etc.) - but so far none for me yet. does yours seem to be triggered by anything in particular? or does it get worse if you're listening to something loud etc?

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

I have some triggers. I think higher-frequency sounds exacerbate the problem. The specific frequency of mouse-clicking has this awful cumulative effect. Nasal congestion issues can send me into a week-long ringing session. Marijuana had been making things worse lately so I quit using. Trying to drink less coffee/caffeine as a test, get more exercise, etc.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 22:15 (five years ago) Permalink

well, back on the trazodone and sleeping 5-6 hrs followed by a couple hours of restless sleep. which tbf is much better than that 4 hours of sleep shit when I had that cold. tinnitus is unchanged but with rest it's a little easier to just do my daily shit and enjoy things. I do find myself continually wondering how long it will be before I can phase out some of these management things like taking sleeping pills and wearing earbuds at work and shit like that... something to discuss with my therapist I guess. on the plus side I don't feel as stressed out or anxious about it, but it does still occupy my thoughts more than I'd like.

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 26 February 2013 17:50 (five years ago) Permalink

gah 4 hrs of sleep the last couple nights. must remember: time is on my side

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 1 March 2013 18:22 (five years ago) Permalink

Oof. But it sounds like things are gradually improving overall, at least...?

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, 1 March 2013 19:24 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

so it's been a weird couple of weeks, lots of ups and downs. I went four nights in a row with four hours of sleep each, freaked out cuz the ambien basically seemed to no longer be working. my therapist told me to increase the dosage of trazodone and see if I could get to sleep on that, and then if I woke up in the middle of the night to alternate taking the ambien or ativan to get back to sleep. seemed like my insomnia was being driven more by anxiety than by the tinnitus... anyway after a few nights of that crazy drug cocktail it turned out I could get to sleep on just the trazodone alone, and even though I still wake up several times a night, I can get back to sleep without anything else and still feel rested in the morning. oh, and I took up jogging. since then my outlook has improved a lot, it feels a bit easier to deal with the tinnitus. Falling asleep was really the one remaining thing it was (and sometimes still is) really interfering with - otherwise I can do everything else I used to do before this set in. But man, yeah I need sleep to maintain any semblance of normalcy, it's really clear.

anyway, for those who were wondering. this thread is sort of like a diary for me.

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 18 March 2013 16:27 (five years ago) Permalink

That's a fine update. I'm happy to hear some normalcy is returning. Keep fighting the good fight.

EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 March 2013 16:33 (five years ago) Permalink

it's weird... if I'm rested and busy I can keep it in the background to a certain extent, or if there's enough other sounds around me to drown it out. quiet situations are still kinda hard.

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 18 March 2013 16:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Your story has made me super paranoid, now that my husband is in a band - he's getting custom fitted earplugs in a couple weeks, but I'm still nagging at him about turning down their amps when they practice (I don't understand why it has to be so goddamn earsplittingly loud at shows, let alone rehearsals).

I hope things keep improving for you, shakey.

just1n3, Monday, 18 March 2013 18:26 (five years ago) Permalink

well fwiw my problem appears to be totally unrelated to hearing loss/noise exposure

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:38 (five years ago) Permalink

Are you using any white-noise-generating thingy when trying to sleep?

Darth Magus (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:46 (five years ago) Permalink

I have it on "ocean night" setting right now or something... I dunno how much it helps really. probably some, just so my bedroom isn't totally silent when I'm trying to sleep.

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:47 (five years ago) Permalink

don't get me wrong tho just1n3, noise exposure/hearing loss is a common cause of tinnitus. in my weirdo case tho, it's not related.

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:51 (five years ago) Permalink

Hm, yeah, I was wondering if you found it helpful. I know folks who swear by them, but have had to struggle with finding the best frequency/sound.

xp

Darth Magus (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:52 (five years ago) Permalink

Xp yeah I know yours was just out of the blue, but it got me thinking way harder about this stuff than I had before, I just don't want him taking it for granted just bc its ”fun” to play loud and without earplugs.

just1n3, Monday, 18 March 2013 20:22 (five years ago) Permalink

Makes total sense that sleep is part of the key to adjusting. I know that even minor things like the floaters in my eyes become much more pronounced when I'm sleep deprived, so it plays that tinnitus would become more aggravating/less backgroundy

I'm glad you're finding some kind of normalcy, shakey! that makes me really happy for you.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 March 2013 20:24 (five years ago) Permalink

fuck, another sleepless night. I seem to have bouts of these recurring every few weeks. just the worst. need better meds but have to wait until my next appt in April...

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 15:42 (five years ago) Permalink

arggh no sleep, I am losing it

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 22 March 2013 15:53 (five years ago) Permalink

Oh man, sorry to hear. No adjustment in meds?

Darth Magus (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 22 March 2013 15:56 (five years ago) Permalink

Kaiser psych nurse just told me to take more of the trazodone, which doesn't seem to be doing much. find myself resorting to the ambien each night, but that only puts me out for a few hours now. and then I can't get back to sleep. which is weird cuz just last week I was sleeping better with a lower dose of the trazodone... I dunno what's going on with me, I feel crazy. I just know what I have now isn't working consistently.

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 22 March 2013 16:07 (five years ago) Permalink

it's like this self-perpetuating cycle of anxiety about sleeping, combined with the tinnitus, just won't let my mind switch off and go to sleep

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 22 March 2013 16:11 (five years ago) Permalink

I've heard that writing things down before you go to sleep is a good way to turn off your brain; dunno how well that'd work when the anxiousness is audible, but could be worth a try.

Darth Magus (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 22 March 2013 16:33 (five years ago) Permalink

had an amazing experience at the ENT just now with aero jr - they're checking his hearing (just standard workup stuff) and what they do is play a tone and then after he looks in the direction of the tone a light goes on above it with a little stuffed animal. (pos. reinforcement for looking in the right direction, I figure.) he's getting them all and then at one point he looks to the right when there's silence in the booth, and I think, aero jr., please only look over in the direction when you hear a tone or it makes it hard to measure, only then the light goes on, and I say to the aud tech: "was that 4k?" and she smiles and nods. just absolute total nothing for me in the right ear at 4k. lol at loud music, A+ 4k eradicator would mosh again

not feeling those lighters (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 22 March 2013 17:07 (five years ago) Permalink

well they've given me a prescription for seroquel now

xp

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 22 March 2013 17:08 (five years ago) Permalink

pitch 4k eradicator

kinder, Friday, 22 March 2013 17:12 (five years ago) Permalink

ugh totally going through the pharmaceutical grinder here... the seroquel helped me get to sleep but the side effects were awful, felt like I'd been hit in the head with a hammer the day after, just totally slow and groggy. so stopped after two days. now they had me try a different benzo/sleep drug last night, restoril, which resulted in probably the best night's sleep I've had since this began, but this morning I'm super-agitated and hyper. I have an appt with BOTH therapists Thurs am to try and find some long-term solution that will help me sleep without heavy side effects. but I just feel totally discombobulated, going through so many drugs... when will I ever feel normal again :(

his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 18:34 (five years ago) Permalink

so now I am on remeron. so exciting. actually it's been good - my sleep is better, altho I still wake up multiple times during the night. the difference being now I can actually get back to sleep with no problem afterwards. so regular sleep has helped me be less crazy/out of it during the day, which has made the tinnitus easier to deal with. I seem to be going for longer periods where I don't think about it at all now (and by longer periods I mean, like, 15-30 minutes) but that's some improvement. And I don't feel constantly stressed out w/chronic back pain... so this is all good but progress is slow.

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 8 April 2013 18:49 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

so I am now back to sleeping 8 hrs a night. huzzah! I have also resumed pretty much all my regular habits (playing music, smoking weed, etc.) That being said, my tinnitus is still exactly the same as it was the first day I noticed it, and I still find it hard to accept it and not be periodically irritated/depressed by it, but there's pretty much nothing I can do. *sigh*

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:32 (five years ago) Permalink

sleep is an awesome improvement though, am so glad you finally cracked that

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:33 (five years ago) Permalink

It's great to have you back!

schwantz, Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:37 (five years ago) Permalink

congratulations, shakey!

polyphonic, Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:39 (five years ago) Permalink

Are you using Remeron to get 8 hours? That is a fantasy amount for me.

I will forlornly return to my home planet soon (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:44 (five years ago) Permalink

i'm glad you're feeling at least a bit back to normal! keep on keepin' on!

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:46 (five years ago) Permalink

yes I'm on 15mg remeron. I take it at night... it's not like ambien where you are like *wham* asleep 15 minutes later but I don't have the panic/anxiety symptoms that were waking me up and keeping me awake.

tinnitus itself is still annoying as fuck, feel like I have to constantly make an effort to think about something else.

xp

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:48 (five years ago) Permalink

what are the side effects of Remeron?

I will forlornly return to my home planet soon (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 9 May 2013 23:54 (five years ago) Permalink

so I am now back to sleeping 8 hrs a night

! congratulations! I didn't get that back for four whole years.

not feeling those lighters (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 10 May 2013 00:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Congrats on the sleep!

EZ Snappin, Friday, 10 May 2013 00:18 (five years ago) Permalink

Is the Ambien you sometimes use the 12.5mg CR version? It's a dual-layer pill, some kicks in immediately (or within 15-20 minutes), the rest 3-4 hours later to help prevent waking up in the middle of the nite. I've been using that for the last year (after 8 years of taking the standard 10mg version) and it helps immmensely, although I do need to switch to something else temporarily for a week or two every several months so the ambien starts working again.

and in his absence, she (Lee626), Friday, 10 May 2013 01:04 (five years ago) Permalink

what are the side effects of Remeron?

I am, fwiw, apparently very sensitive to a lot of medications' side effects and remeron has a very mild side effects profile. the most common side effects are an increase in appetite and cottonmouth (hmm this sounds familiar), neither of which have really bothered me.

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 10 May 2013 15:41 (five years ago) Permalink

lol that does sound familiar

my wife's sleep issues are worse than mine, so I don't know if remeron's an option for her or not but thanks for the info

I will forlornly return to my home planet soon (dandydonweiner), Friday, 10 May 2013 19:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Congrats on your sleep, weed and music resumption! Funny, the other day a Ray Charles/Milt Jackson (sans horns) piece came on my iTunes and I thought, "Hm, wonder how Shakey's doing."

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, 10 May 2013 19:23 (five years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

I don't like how the daily grind of dealing with this occupies so much of my mental real estate. my life is back to normal for the most part but I still get distracted/depressed about it on the regular

Mr. Scarf Ace is Back (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 June 2013 15:40 (five years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

well it's been a year. my sleep is mostly back to normal (babby notwithstanding) I'm down to a quarter-tab of remeron a night and expect to phase that out over the next few weeks. so that's good. I can function and do stuff, for the most part. It still bugs me - I have a hard time concentrating in silent environments, or if there's like a silent scene in a movie or tv show for ex. I wear an earbud most of the time at work, which I guess isn't so bad. Chronic back pain persists for the most part, it comes and goes. Maybe a new bed will improve that, I dunno. I try not to complain about the tinnitus much cuz really what's the point, it is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

what's up ugly girls? (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 1 October 2013 23:07 (four years ago) Permalink

Congrats on making such huge strides over the past year. I know it isn't easy but it must be heartening to look at the low points and see them far in the rearview mirror.

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 1 October 2013 23:59 (four years ago) Permalink

wtg shakey!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 2 October 2013 01:37 (four years ago) Permalink

Great to hear, hope things continue to improve.

Plasmon, Wednesday, 2 October 2013 02:20 (four years ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...

Hi I mostly lurk but I have (currently) mild tinnitus so I think about Shakey sometimes. Anybody know how he's doing?

ugh (lukas), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:19 (four years ago) Permalink

He has a new source of misery, reading Tom Disch's The Dreams Our Stuff Is Made of.

Colossal Propellerhead (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:21 (four years ago) Permalink

Οὖτις ἐμοὶ γ' ὄνομα

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:22 (four years ago) Permalink

Ohh

ugh (lukas), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:34 (four years ago) Permalink

I am still alive. My tinnitus is the same. I don't take any drugs anymore (well, beyond weed + liqour), I sleep 6-7 hours a night (still getting woken up by a toddler at this point). My back pain comes and goes.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:55 (four years ago) Permalink

comin up on 2 years Oct 1

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:55 (four years ago) Permalink

thx for asking btw

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 16 September 2014 19:55 (four years ago) Permalink

My wife's got worse this summer but her ENT is starting to think its TMJ. Which would be good news IMO bc there are things they can do about TMJ.

Mine is awful at this precise moment, coincidentally.

arthur treacher, or the fall of the british empire (Jon Lewis), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 21:12 (four years ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.