is everyone allowed their own ear wax thread?

Nurse: "You have good hair. You should have been a girl! All these heavy curls, girls would do anything for that. You would have done well in the hippy times. Just like me!"
(She is black and in her late 40s possibly, so I can only guess at what exactly she means by this...)
Nurse (finishing up): "Now I can see there's a brain in there!"
mark s: "Not so sure about that..."
Nurse: *laughs* "You are right! I can only see your ear drum!"

I have to hold the metal container that the used water goes into, after my head is filled up. Both times (both ears) I use the wrong hand, and she says "No, the NEXT hand"... This is a top device, because I am no good at telling left from right. Perhaps she also tackles the waxy build-up of spidahs!

When come back bring octopi! I can hear again, I am so happy.

nurse: "does that hurt?"
me: "no, not at all" *gritting teeth and blinking back tears*

my doctor said that cotton buds are intensely irritating to ears, as the tiny fibres make miniscule cuts inside on the delicate surface. I believe him.

I could actually do with getting my ears cleaned out properly. It's been far too long. Not since the last time I had an ear infection! It's not the cotton buds that do the damage, it's all those strange fizzing solutions and ear candles and the like that I used to use when my ears got waxy. I used to have endless trouble with my ears, and everything I used just made them worse. And then my ear doctor told me to stop poking them, and they got better and I never had an ear infection again!

But still, there is nothing in the world that feels better than a good satisfying poke at one's ears with a cotton bud. Except maybe multiple orgasms.

(It helps if you let hot water run into your ears during the shower to soften up the earwax, and then poke immediately after getting out of the shower.)

I might start my own aural pleasure service.

€€€$$$£££

ker-ching!

"I'm not just the company co-founder... I'm a CLIENT, too!"

::sticks thingey in ear and buzzes happily::

!BUY NOW, take yourself to a nice private place later!

lawks, I haf struck gold

TO CHINA!!!

motherfucker

http://www.slate.com/blogs/normal/2016/10/31/removing_earwax_with_a_paperclip_is_magic_and_not_at_all_recommended.html

One of my favorite factoids is that, while skin color is an utterly useless way to categorize racial groups, ear wax provides a scientifically sound point of racial division within humanity, along the line of wet & sticky ear wax vs. dry and crumbly ear wax.

clapton health centre no longer offers ear irrigation

"learn to love your wax": https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2017/nov/28/put-down-the-cotton-buds-a-quick-guide-to-cleaning-ear-wax?CMP=twt_gu

what is going be the next au naturale hipster phase? People not wiping their arse anymore and wallowing in their own shit?

The big question is, how smelly is he? “The best evidence is from my girlfriend, who says I have a smell but not an offensive one,” he says. “I smell like a person, instead of smelling like a product.”

"arseskin migration” occasionally malfunctions so you sometimes need to go private and hire a powerful sucker

The number of times I've stepped out of the shower and haven't immediately Q-tipped my ears can probably be counted on one hand. They're a more important hygiene item for me than toothpaste.

I read a sad Francis Ryan comment recently about austerity making hygiene products an unaffordable luxury to many at the moment. That is what pisses me off about this wave of bad hygiene good claptrap in the Graun. Being dirty and smelly is not good for anyone's well being, nor their colleagues/friends for that matter, and people touting it as a lifestyle option are moronic hippies.

I would absolutely cringe if I noticed somebody I was talking to had a big waxy chunk in their ear. That is disgusting ffs!

I think there are probably good reasons to cut down (not eliminate) use of many hygiene products, notably shampoo, specialty soaps, shave creams etc. Certainly heavy perfume/cologne. But deodorant, toothpaste, shower gel (which doubles as shave cream), razor refills, and Q-tips are a tiny tiny part of my cost of living. When I can't afford $1.50 for a year's worth of Q-tips, I'll also be homeless and begging in the esplanade.

Francis was talking about people who are needing foodbank assistance to eat, so basics like deodorants and toothpaste are off the shopping list for starters.

ENTs and doctors have been recommending me and my family to not clean with cotton swabs for as long as i can remember

i clean with a cotton swab maybe once every month or two months because i'm a bit of a germaphobe

i like smelling like product instead of like human

i smell like clean laundry

As someone who Hannah Horvathed herself a couple years ago and punctured my ear drum with a q-tip, I can honestly say DO NOT STICK ANYTHING SMALLER THAN THE TIP OF YOUR ELBOW IN YOUR EAR. TBF, I've had problems in that ear for decades but still DO NOT DO THIS.

the worst pain i've ever had to endure came from an infected canal caused by trying to clear an ear of impacted wax using non-invasive techniques like warm olive oil and cerumol ear drops

Pro-Q-tip: hold them close to the cotton swabbing, so that your own thumbnail prevents them from entering too far. Personally, I first dip them in 90% rubbing alcohol, which improve earwax solubility.

But I cannot stand the sensation of ichy ear canals that results when I don't clean them. Plus, I spend a couple hours a day wearing in-ear headphones, and its just more pleasant to see spotless earbuds at a guy's neck than ones encrusted with cerumen.

The day my own little finger ain't the right size to clean out my earhole is the day the diet starts in earnest

because you won't be able to eat ear wax anymore?

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/331790326331-0-0/s-l140/p.jpg

I use this washable stainless steel thing that will probably give some people the horrors and cotton buds. But I've never fucked my ears up yet.

xp nope but I'm curious about either the enormity of fingers or tininess of earholes itt maybe

hullo from my stupid blocked ears to this thread again, which when first begun appalled and offended doomie so much he started another thread to complain

Ugh. I'm sorry - so uncomfortable. My left is blocked rn too but not because of wax - I have a hole in and a weeping cyst on my left eardrum but it's awful and uncomfortable and also made it quite difficult to hear anyone last week!

start with the drops that have a mild peroxide gel, flush with lukewarm water with the rubber syringe bulb

these things work ok if it's really stuck in there
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81X7N2-hpQL._SL1500_.jpg

do NOT use the pen cap from a cheap ballpoint pen. it feels good, though

pen cap is a personal fave but you prob shouldn't listen to me wrt anything involving proper ear care

I can't get out of the shower without q-tipping my ear canals. I once used a fiber optic video inspection device to have a good look, and they were pristine. One could eat off them.

Stop using q-tips. Despite how it feels at the time you're likely making things worse.

Is this where I admit to watching ear wax removal videos on yourtube? There's an ENT clinic in India that seems to have a ton of them on there and they're all set to delightful Indian music. Not gonna lie though some of them are pretty gruesome and involve things like ear funal infections and surprise bugs. Actually, they're pretty gross but so fascinating.

I love cleaning my ears. I am one of those asian bobby pin people too even though my ears are rarely dirty. I also put on a headlamp and clean my partner's ears. He thinks I am crazy but he lets me do it.

xpost I love all those earwax, cyst, mango worms, dr pimple popper videos.

Holy shit that is next level and I'm honestly amazed I haven't thought of doing that before. The headlamp, I mean. Bobby pin ranks up there with pen cap for my preferred ear cleaning tools. Yes, I know it's awful. No, I'm not going to stop.

xpost - mango worms? Guess I know what I'll be doing tonight. Oh yes, big dr pimple popper fan here. I can (and have) watched these things for hours. Oh and once I stole the wax the ENT took out of my ear so I could take a picture.

I threw it out immediately after doing so but I just couldn't let it sit there.

Xpost I went through a couple of months watching dr pimple popper obsessively. It was next stage obsession. Lol. Now I stick w her insta clips. Short n popping.

I clean my ears less obsessively than I used to. It was so bad I had to go to a specialist. Lol.

My mom cleaned my ears with a bobby pin while I had to hold a flashlight s a kid. I have never had a problem with my ears, not even an earache.

I might have a weird problem, I also used to floss my dog's teeth and clean his ears a lot (not with a bobby pin).

Oh cleaning Benson's ears is one of my greatest pleasures. I didn't know about canine tooth care and the little bugger had to have 20 something pulled last year. Oh man. He has little cyst things that are amazing to pop but he hates it so much and after he bit me a few months ago I'm not risking that. NB the biting didn't happen while I was trying to do that but I don't want to do anything to upset him now.

Oh I definitely have a thing about all this gross cleaning/grooming stuff.

Yeah, I had a boxer that had tiny little dolphin teeth that everything would get stuck in and he would get crazy gum issues if i didn't floss. He was very exasperated by everything I did.

I think we killed this thread which is impressive considering I dind't even start telling the story of the time my mom finally let me at a decade old dialated pore of Weiner on her shoulder and it exploded and shot across a hotel room and got everywhere and the smell was so horrible I had to take a shower afterwards. Worth it though.

winer not weiner heh heh

I had to look it up because I thought weiner was talking about another type of dog.

this thread will never die

(as long as my earwax problem circles back every three or four years for a tiresome week or two)

somehow my allergies seem better with age but I think it's because my head is better at expelling all the junk? like I don't just blow my nose when I wake up, I have to wipe out the corner of my eyes and regularly clean my ears. my body's expelling all the evil

Jobson Horne!

lightly irrigated!

also: lightly told off for using q-tips ever and she doesn't think my tinnitus is connected (nor do i tbf it's from listening to too much horrible music in my life)

i mean

i know they always say it

but wtf else are q tips for

fuck off i say, fuck off

^^^a man in the pay of Big Punctured Ear Drum

BPE

This is an object removed from my left ear earlier today.
http://i64.tinypic.com/29y5gdx.jpg
My doctor told me it's the woolly part of a Q-Tip.
I haven't used Q-Tips since 2006.
I advise against using Q-Tips.

gnarly!!!!!!!!!!

WOW!

the only thing i use q tips for is cleaning out my belly button

beautiful :)

http://i67.tinypic.com/25guvz5.gif

can you hear better now?

also: nice, esby.

http://cdn.sci-news.com/images/enlarge5/image_6617e-Oumuamua.jpg

https://img.purch.com/h/1000/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5saXZlc2NpZW5jZS5jb20vaW1hZ2VzL2kvMDAwLzA1OS80NzYvb3JpZ2luYWwvc2luZ2xlLWJ1bGxldC5qcGc=

xposts, the woolly blob soaked up bathwater and caused an infection resulting hearing loss, so yes, I can hear better now.
The doctor also asked if I was a smoker.
I said, yes, five a day, do I have bad breath?
She said, no, I can tell by your pharynx and your nasal mucosa being all red, same thing with all smokers.
I carefully advise against smoking, but it's your choice.

Sorry for your loss.

that is one of the greatest photos of a 13-year-old earwaxed q-tip that i have ever seen

#ffs

i saw my GP and tue and asked her abt tinnitus and she had a peek with her little ear-peer lamp and said i can book you for a proper audio test but they're also full of wax u kno and they'll be cross if you turn up like that

so i am trying to dislodge the wax with olive oil and etc and right now it is in the half way stage of not full of wax but what there is is reducing my hearing by abt half (fairly sure i listened to eurovision on screaming volume last night w/o really realising, all vol knobs on max -- apologies to my neighbours if so)

i sent off to amazon for a little ear syringe, fingers x-ed that helps -- this only happens every three years or so but for a non-painful condition it makes me SO miserable

she booked the audio test also, bcz the tinnitus is real and not the cause of the hearing loss i don't think (it's only a few days old)

I think the NHS has moved out of offering wax clearing services? I never had a chance to use them.

But a lot of microsuction places have spring up, and even Specsavers offers that service now.

I became aware of my tinnitus during covid. It was as if had a tape hiss noise has been turned up in my ears. Now that my infection is over, I am aware that there is a permanent very low level background hiss. It doesn’t seem to bother me unduly, and I guess it might have been around for a some time.

I'm a long term sufferer with ear wax build-up and I agree that it's utterly fucking miserable. Basically, nothing works except syringing/microsuction and, since the NHS stopped being interested, I've just accepted that I have to pay £65 once every couple of years and that's that. As Luna says, there will be lots of places offering the microsuction service. Get booked in and keep oiling in the meantime.

Going through exactly the same thing at the moment. I have periodic problems with my left ear whereby my hearing tends to get dull especially when I have colds. However this current bout is dragging on. Went to the GP: right ear fine, left ear full of wax. Got the eardrops - actually a spray this time - in the ear and almost instantly something that was almost like pebble of wax plopped out of my ear. Still didn't help much with the hearing though. Next I get the rubber syringe thing, which entails basically squirting some lukewarm water in your ear and waiting for the wax and water to flow out, all you end up with is water in your ear, as far as I can tell. Went back to the GP and he says there's still some wax in there so carry on with the eardrops. I had the exact same experience trying to watch Eurovision too!

Shocked at people getting GP appointments. I just get directed to an online form and then managed out. Option one - have you tried phoning 111? Option two - consider going to A&E? We’re sorry we are unable to help you on this occasion.

I did get my ears de-waxed by a GP a few years ago, but it did fuck all to help tinnitus. They were pretty bad - a nurse tried to do it first but couldn't get it out so had to fetch a doctor to finish the job.

The Times is covering microsuction today: "I had my ears ‘vacuumed’ — it’s so satisfying"

It's behind a paywall, but key points of this very positive £89 experience:

One minute you’re living in a waxy fishbowl, cringing at the sound of your own chewing and yelling at your partner to just speak up for God’s sake, then — shlrrrrp, shlrrrrp, glug, vroom — the pressure releases and you’re jumping at the ping of a microwave.
In my case, the microsuction followed an unsuccessful attempt at irrigation, during which the doctor — not my GP, but one near work that I knew offered it — grew increasingly despondent as the dam of wax held firm. Eventually she gave up, passing me the details of Hearology, a chain of clinics in central London (there are many others that provide similar services, along with some branches of Specsavers)....

And so it was that, last Tuesday, I found myself lying on a treatment couch as a nurse gently inserted a miniature cone into my ear, followed by a thin probe and . . . ooh. It’s hard to describe the precise sensation of wax being sucked out, except to say it brought to mind those videos of pythons eating small animals in which the shape of the prey remains visible as it slides down the snake’s body. Afterwards, I felt briefly dizzy, then oddly jumpy, startled by the unfamiliar clarity of bicycle bells and building works.

The next morning, this was replaced by a more uncomplicated sensation: complete elation. .... I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so popular as when word got out at The Times that I’d had my ears “done” and a procession of aurally frustrated correspondents passed by inquiring as to the details.

used a syringe on my own ears for the first time (after several days with olive oil and then OTEX™️)

it's kind of a pleasant sensation followed by an annoying sensation (= there's no way you don't get water all down you, maybe i shd do it in the bath lol)

hearing much better now but i think there's still wax in there (my tinnitus is no better but i wasn't expecting it to cure that, in conclusion never listen to swans live lads)

I've become quite adept at the syringe over the years, I think my earchitecture is very welcoming to wax inhabitants. I went to my GP once to have him deal with what felt like a large blockage. He drew a circle on his white board to indicate my ear canal, then a smaller circle inside it, which I took to be the blockage. The smaller circle was actually the open area, everything else was the wax.

got mine syringed by my then new family doctor 10 years ago (at her urging, after using some of the drug store oil stuff) and didn't make much difference.

yall who've been through the ringer with this, do you find rinsing them out in the shower good for maintenance?

earchitecture!

several days of debrox once flushed a pea-sized chunk of wax out of me which fled down the drain before i could capture and properly admire it. miss u boo <3

cats think earwax is delicious. yours or theirs or anyone’s, they love it all and it makes an excellent bribe.

tbh getting water in mine when there's a build-up already there is usually when they start to get bad: i've started wearing ear plugs when i wash my hair (i think this just postpones the problem but for a while at least it means i'm not going around for three days after the hairwash unable to hear anything)

lol also i just turned the TV on for the first since the syringing and it is absolutely BOOMING so apologies to my downstairs neighbour this whole week i kind of knew i had it on max volume (bcz i can see where the bar is) but it just didn't SOUND loud

Maybe for USAers only: I just let the plugged ear marinade with Debrox overnight then use the little blue bulb in the shower with warm water the next morning. After five minutes or so of flushing the ear the chunks should come out but it takes patience.

Glad I’m also not the only one that kind of wants to admire what comes out.

Suffolk man makes candle from his ear wax

see, my ear canals must be twisty narrow lil’ bastidges because once liquid gets in there it won’t leave without a fight. hence my usual protocol: 1 ear gets debroxed 2x daily for nigh on a week (until it clears out or i sullenly concede) and hearing duties devolve entirely upon the backup ear. then once first ear regains functionality it’s the backup ear’s turn.

v. excited to try out the Boring, Maryland method & will report back when my ear disgorges a brain-sized blob of goo!

I've never let it sit overnight. I might try that, since I am always convinced I'm not getting anywhere near all of the wax out (as my occasional visits to the clinic when I can't hear have confirmed).

in case anyone was wondering who got the best xmas presents this year it was me, i did, santa loves me best, sorry to all you itchy-eared also-rans

for my year of ceaseless rectitude i have been gifted a sleek set of stainless steel ear picks/scoops/tiny rounded springy things AND a state-of-the-art $3 lighted otoscope that plugs into either my phone or computer for to see that which mine eyes were never meant to see, viz. wax deposits dating back several presidents

i'll give you all a moment to come to terms with the envy that is no doubt devouring you alive

moment over, back to gloating: this is unequivocally the best cheap garbage i ever bought for myself got for any holiday ever!!! i now understand why dogs do that thing with their leg when you skritch their ears, and why my kitties would so often maneuver their heads around so as to jam my finger up in their ear holes when i was just trying to rub their poochy little chins and cheeks. this is a transcendent sensation. i cannot believe how much of my life i have wasted not scraping my ear canals. it feels delicious. i never want this feeling to end. i want to hire a crew of tiny people to climb in there and just go to town with the teensiest little scrub brushes and i want them to live there forever. all the A+ to these miraculous products, all the gold stars, all the hosannas and hullabaloo! i hereby dedicate myself to the furtherance of their glorification until the end of my days or until i puncture an ear drum.

this is the end goal pretty much

https://thememescraps.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/hot-shots-brain-floss.gif

by the way in my trawling for this gif i discovered the existence of ear floss and wish i hadn't

just got the microsuction and i feel like i'm on e

I saw an ENT doctor last year and he suctioned out my left ear, it seemed to take close to 5 minutes and was incredibly painful, do not recommend

oh no! Mine was not painful at all.. even though it did vaguely feel like giving birth to a small alien. The aural sensation is extremely unpleasant

but there's a catharsis when it's over, at least in my case.. I actually cried lol

I'm getting mine done every three or four months (for some reason) and my experience is definitely much closer to Moodles'.

I have a bum ear so I get the suction often and I love it. It always feels amazing to me.

I should do this. I usually have blocked ears for about 3 months a year until it naturally clears. Once I got my ears syringed at the surgery and it was incredibly painful

I did the home wax cleaning thing a couple years back (with the bubbly peroxide solution and the rubber bulb to rinse it out) and a few days later I got a gnarly case of vertigo... I thought I'd had a stroke for a minute until I did a little research

Anyway, I'm just gonna let that stuff drop out when it's ready

narrator voice: it will never be ready

what if the wax is all that's holding my brain in?

only one to find out!

narrator: there were other ways to find out

nothing more satisfying than when a big waxy pachinko ball decides to drop down the chute on its own accord

Is this ear wax vacuuming maybe just a UK thing? Doesn't seem to be as much a thing in the USofA

I see a lot of banner ads that are all "If you have tinnitus, do this easy thing at home" and it's fucking annoying because I know it's all bullshit