the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

i thought this would be a fun poll so i thought i'd do a brainstorming thread first. what are you mad at george lucas for THE MOST?

stuff like:

- showing boba fett's face (and him as a whiny kid)
- greedo shooting first

...etc

i made it '90s onwards so none of you wiseacres can claim the OG star wars movies

jar jar binks of course

probably the biggest for me, fuckign with the original movies and then getting rid of the negatives (allegedly)

s1ocki beat me to that one

any of the "romantic" scenes in the new trilogy

I would have nominated trying to make Brian Benben a movie star but I suppose that's small beer.

impossible to make a coherent list of offenses

Reducing the Clone Wars, which seemed like the coolest idea ever when they were hinted at in the original series, into a bunch of boring bullshit involving "trade federations" and such.

looking like this

http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/entertainment/07/10/09_lucas_lgl.jpg

midichlorians

tehse are all good

Greedo shooting first - it totally messes up the impression that the first time audience has about Solo. Han shoots first = sketchy character who you're not sure about for the whole movie.

mrs skywalker dies of heartbreak

Indiana Jones vs. The Lame CGI & Goddam Aliens Ferfuckssake

fucking up howard the duck (or is that pre-90s?)

the kid who played anakin skywalker

Why is the thread question in plural? His biggest crime was making more movies.

when Anakin becomes Darth Vader and then looks up at the camera in the sky and goes NOOOOOOOOOO

Why is the thread question in plural? His biggest crime was making more movies.

― My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:41 PM (48 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes smart guy we know but it's more fun to pick at the insane little details

midichlorians

― goole, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 5:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if i made a thread called "the crimes of hitler" i dont think anyone would complain that it shouldnt be in plural because his crime is "the holocaust"

not at least trying out a few alternate solutions to whatever is going on with that beard and his chin

Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus.

^^^this, far and away. its one thing to churn out crappy product, lots of aging directors do that (hell, young ones too!), but deliberately screwing up your past work - so that NO ONE can ever enjoy it again, that's a whole other level of unforgivable.

what a weird quote

I still love the Patton Oswalt bit about how Lucas fucked up all these awesome characters by showing them as whiny kids, "you like Angelina Jolie, right? here's Jon Voight's testicle!".

i dont remember anyone saying THAT xp

hahahahah oh man

shoudve been this: probably the biggest for me, fuckign with the original movies and then getting rid of the negatives (allegedly)

fart jokes in episode 1

hahaha that is totally the highlight of my day so far

is that his pitch for a campus sex comedy?

btw if anyone wants some campus utility data hit me up yo

what drove me NUTS is how he passive-aggressively included the real movie as a "special feature" on the dvd release but not the anamorphic version. SUCH a bitch move.

i am giggling like crazy at shakey's c&p gaffe

especially, "^^^this, far and away."

I don't think we can accurately judge Lucas' output without individual building meter data!

the demuppetification of yoda.

hahaha the best was the 5 seconds before i realized what happened

i thought it was some obscure nugget about lucasfilm's data output and how that proved the originals didn't exist any more or something

hahaha the best was the 5 seconds before i realized what happened

Agreed. I was just "...wait, what?"

i think the china-town sounding trade federation dudes said something like that in ep 1

yeah i was like

Co-incidentally, someone was here to read the meter this morning.

does anyone have a cite to the real individual building meter data from Ep. 2? is that on the DVD?

"Begun this data scrub has."

i am dying at my desk here

promising to make "small, personal" films only to immediately return to raping our childhoods with his big cgi dick

no matter how much i do like spielberg, i downgrade him for pulling a few of these lucas-style moves in his career, too.

totally... ET gun/walkie thing

also to answer the thread question

http://www.ketzer.com/movie_props_replicas/pepsi_watto.jpg

i've never forgiven george lucas for starting yourprops.com

cannot BELIEVE lucas tried to make us get individual building meter data

i was talking about the baseball hat

if i made a thread called "the crimes of hitler" i dont think anyone would complain that it shouldnt be in plural because his crime is "the holocaust"

well if the point of the thread was to start a poll over what was specifically the worst of his crimes, people might

The rest of us just get a yourprops.com logo placeholder.

i think the china-town sounding trade federation dudes said something like that in ep 1

^^ this, far and away -- if you can't get individual building utility data out of the application, how are we supposed to verify savings?

oh no I mean: the prequels had maybe a bit much of sorta ethnic-typed aliens, which I think we've discussed plenty before

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watto

lucas and spielberg represent a lot of people in hollywood who apparently think the audience just can't handle moderately edgy shit anymore.

well if the point of the thread was to start a poll over what was specifically the worst of his crimes, people might

― da croupier, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:54 PM (47 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

let us not split hairs and have this dumb argument, everyone knows what i meant. can we just keep laughing about the meter thing

i have GONE OFF about this before, but what really drives me nuts is that the basic scenario laid out in the prequels is really interesting! but they are still horrible. it's like someone made three really horrible movies out a great novel about a despot's rise to power. except there's no such novel. it's the weirdest thing.

xp yes wtf how can u introduce the idea of SLAVERY in the universe and then not address it ever again

lucas and spielberg represent a lot of people in hollywood who apparently think the audience just can't handle moderately edgy shit anymore.

― "he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:55 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and yet you see a transformer's balls in TF2 :(

not splitting hairs, slocki, the observation wasn't earnest

gotcha

balls are funny lol : D

nb I am usually less morally "offended" by ethnic-type aliens (though there's maybe a bit of that with Watto or JarJar) and more just aesthetically offended, like ... please actually make up a fucking alien from your head and not just animate some CGI Central Casting Stock Mildly Offense Ethnic Archetype shit

knowing what little i do know about producers via my limited interaction w/them, i can say that they're mostly total retards who get bored by difficult films like 'heat' and 'the departed'

yeah i think that's why everyone hated them nabisco

so a couple of giant nuts swinging to and fro onscreen would naturally be the most hilarious thing imaginable to them xp

adding a candy-ass scream to luke's climactic fall in Empire so that his suicidal rejection of darth becomes "OH SHIT, I SLIPPED!"

maybe he was just psyched to be getting away from his freak dad

han solo stepping on tiny jabba's tail in episode iv

i have GONE OFF about this before, but what really drives me nuts is that the basic scenario laid out in the prequels is really interesting! but they are still horrible. it's like someone made three really horrible movies out a great novel about a despot's rise to power. except there's no such novel. it's the weirdest thing.

^

to be fair, swinging close-up IMAX testicles would be marginally funny for 30 seconds or so, and will probably feature in a Baron-Cohen movie at some point

making people call star wars "episode IV: A New Hope"

^^^^^^^^^^

that, too me is the greatest crime

omg totally

like seriously, from teh coolest movie title ever (at least when you're a kid), STAR. WARS. to... "a new hope."

or making Raiders into Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

A New Hope that Lucas will stop fucking with Star Wars

it sounds like some corny-ass mandy moore flick about the summer after high school

her name is "hope" in the film

Anakin: I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I HATE THEM!

haaaaa xp

this is kinda funny: http://www.starwarsuncut.com/

The CGI "celebration sequence across the galaxy" in Return of the Jedi, the updated version. Like the Ewok song was bad enough George.

"death sticks"

can't imagine what a kid who's already seen I-III would think of "A New Hope." But then any kid that actually sat through I-III without the memory of the original trilogy is already unfathomable to me.

ya i mean, if you watch them "in order" does it make any kind of sense?

yeah it's weird to think that someday (if not already) there will be folks who will naturally gravitate towards watching the six films in numerical order

like doesn't it completely undercut the big darth is luke's father reveal??

I keep drilling my 8 year old son over and over again that Empireis the best, but Ep III is his favorite.
"Anakin's annoying."
"So what, he's cool. And I like droidekas."

droidekas?

This is probably more of a good thing than a crime, but that the key battle scene between Anakin and Obi Wan Kenobi appears to be entirely modelled on the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhRUe-gz690

like doesn't it completely undercut the big darth is luke's father reveal??

what a disaster this will be for whatever young mutant would actually watch them all for the first time in numerical order

you'd like to think by halfway through Clones they'd just put on some brokencyde and play a video game

ya im just sayin!!

i guess what really pissed me off is that when i watched the original trilogy i there were passing mentions of a young anakin/vader, i always imagined this amazing charismatic, grim, kinda sociopathic dude who would be played by some epic actor, but then they toss it to some asshole who comes off like a fratboy killer from some episode of csi: miami.

"and there"

that's almost too complimentary to hayden christiansen

what bugs me even more is that young badass obi wan turned out to be such a drip... he really should have been the han of hte series...

yeah i mean alec guinness was kind of weirdly imposing, right? and ewan mcgregor came off as kind of...short?

oh god yeah crime no. 35235: Obi-Dan Fogelberg

The alterations made to the Jabba's palace scene...ughhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pQzJlL1wqs

they always implied that obi-wan was a real loose cannon and his recklessness is sorta what "made" darth vader

Darth Maul sure was thrilling, though, no? With his Mudvayne make up and everything?

insertion of Hayden Christensen ghost at the end of Jedi was particularly grating and is a handy symbol for the new films poisoning the old ones.

oh remember when obi wan and liam neeson double-teamed him? that was so cheap!! they also double-teamed count dooku, an elderly man

it's such a basic rule, the GOOD GUYS are supposed to be outnumbered

Its been hinted at, but it needs to be said - CGI Jabba.

Motherfucker had GRAVITAS when you just assumed that he was moved by people, based on his influence. Now, thanks to Colonel Neck Retention Chinstrap's merciless fucking about, Jabba is a slug, skirting around freighter bays on Mos Eisley.

half the OG characters were these free-wheeling assholes too, and everyone in the new trilogy was really inert and studied.

insertion of Hayden Christensen ghost at the end of Jedi was particularly grating and is a handy symbol for the new films poisoning the old ones.

[/i]

god when i saw those remastered/restored star wars movies... digital jabba made me really sad xp

Motherfucker had GRAVITAS when you just assumed that he was moved by people, based on his influence. Now, thanks to Colonel Neck Retention Chinstrap's merciless fucking about, Jabba is a slug, skirting around freighter bays on Mos Eisley.

― I got it. I'm gone. (B.L.A.M.), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:16 PM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

totally totally

i gotta say i thought macgregor was a great obi wan but its not hard to look good in those movies

seriously, the whole awesome thing about jabba in return of the jedi was he didn't move

they also double-teamed count dooku, an elderly man

Bad image. Very bad image.

i thought macgregor got the voice down 100% and he was ok in some ways, but his physical presence was nil imo

i gotta say i thought macgregor was a great obi wan but its not hard to look good in those movies

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:17 PM (40 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he had the voice down and he seemed game but he had nothing to do but frown and scold

xp haha

possibly because they made him wear a rattail

You want gravitas? Jimmy Smits had gravitas.

i guess macgregors obi-wan should have been the WORST thing in a potentially amazing star wars prequels and instead it turned out to be the best

The idea that nearly every jedi in the universe can be killed by a bunch of regular dudes in one fell swoop, and without each death being an incredible epic battle, drove me insane.

you know, in theory I appreciate trying to make Anakin's move to the dark side feel like the result of a personal/emotional tragic flaw as opposed to an intellectual decision, but holy geez did they take this way too far, even despite all the crappy exposition, basically making his change into Vader feel like the result of just being a jackass teen-rebel wannabe who fell in with the wrong crowd

a list of what people praised from lucas '90s on is just about as embarrassing as his crimes.

YODA FIGHT WOW!!!!

i mean there's the banality of evil and then there's just the banality of these movies

to be fair to ewan tho what would you do if you were cast as OBI WAN FUCKING KENOBI and you show up to the set the first day and find out you have to do a scene opposite the kid from jingle all the way and stepin fechit inside a blue room?

Did you know that Anakin cannot possibly attack Obi-Wan effectively when Obi-Wan has the higher ground? The things you learn.

the campy bad guys were the only good part of the prequels: dooku and emperor were over the top

big crime for me: making rational adults see the prequels multiple times until they "kinda liked it" by holding a lightsaber to their inner child's neck

How come every fucking scene in these movies involves someone standing in front of a window with a million fucking things happening in the background.

a list of what people praised from lucas '90s on is just about as embarrassing as his crimes.

YODA FIGHT WOW!!!!

― da croupier, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:21 PM (26 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha i remember how desperate i was at that point to find ANYTHING redeeming about the movies that people would ask me how it was and i would be like, YODA FIGHTS!!! and theyd be like yeah but is it good and id say YODA FIGHTS A DUDE and theyd say youre not answering my question and then i would go cry somewhere

YODA FIGHTS DOOKU yeah for about 15 seconds...

one thing i liked about the originals was the fact that around the margins there were all of these minor roles filled by these really solid character actors that helped fill in the universe a little more without overly explaining it, whereas the new films had none of that, just the occasional smits/sam jackson/terence stamp star cameo bullshit.

like the entirety of the empire's fleet was commanded by bbc regulars, i loved that

i mean i've been over this abt 6934873208 times with my friends but ppl can be forgiven imo for having blinders on through episode 1 and even episode 2.

god when i saw those remastered/restored star wars movies... digital jabba made me really sad xp

OMG esp. when Han stepped on his tail & Jabba's comic exclamation. That really should have tipped all of us off that this man was no longer to be trusted with his own mythos.

yeah it's weird to think that someday (if not already) there will be folks who will naturally gravitate towards watching the six films in numerical order

― "he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 6:06 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

like doesn't it completely undercut the big darth is luke's father reveal??

― Cowardly G. Soundgarden (s1ocki), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 6:07 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark

Read some thing on the net arguing the best order to watch them in for the first time would be I, IV, II, V, III, VI, which kind of makes sense if you think about it.

Or that Admiral Piet was managing Slade at the same time?

T/S: Peter Cushing vs. fake Japanese lizard spice federation trader

> YODA FIGHT WOW!!!!

Seriously, that sucked bad. He should be a total effortless zen master Sam the Seed type, not a hyperactive squirell with a glowstick.

Best order surely IV, V, VI, I, II, III, IV, V, VI ?

IV, V, VI, I, I, V, VI, II, I, II, III, II, IV, V, VI

like the entirety of the empire's fleet was commanded by bbc regulars, i loved that

So true. Every so often one of them would turn up in a series I'm watching and I'm all "Hey it's that guy!"

A favorite example -- Christopher Malcolm, Saffron's dad in Absolutely Fabulous = dude who is flying around in the snowspeeder looking for Han and Luke on Hoth. He was also the original Brad in the first London production of The Rocky Horror Show.

this thread's making me want to watch IV for the first time in years

i'm afraid i won't like it now though and i really want to retain my childhood 'best movie ever' memories of it

Terence Stamp should have played and evil cockney Jedi called General Zod.

IIRC - wasn't the original Anakin - as in, the one revealed at the end of Jedi - British?

Like, what the fuck making him sound like a kid from the Valley?

There really are so very many things wrong with everything done in the world of Star Wars after Return of the Jedi, and all its subsequent toy releases. Because lets be honest - there were some badass toys for the first three.

And Darth Maul. Motherfucker should NOT have been killed in one movie.

Read some thing on the net arguing the best order to watch them in for the first time would be I, IV, II, V, III, VI, which kind of makes sense if you think about it.

― chap, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:25 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

actually watching the prequels now in any order you put them makes no sense at all

motherfucker should not have been in one movie imo

i will never get tired of complaining about these movies

maybe that was the greatest gift george lucas ever gave us :)

seriously, he's like the most reliable punching bag in cinema history

http://www.icanhasforce.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/star-wars-darth-maul.jpg

what's funny is i do think there is some good shit in II and III (very sporadically in II, mostly when obi-wan is off playing detective on other, weird planets), but it's all trumped by epic fuckups.

I thought the prequels had ruined the originals for me, but when Return Of The Jedi was on Spike I went into childhood nostalgia overdrive even as I groaned through the new CGI and admitted to my star-wars-ignorant gf that "this is really stupid."

the opening sequence of III is pretty great as is the big fight at the end, as long as you forget about monty python

did we bring up darth's NOOOOO in III yet?

ya

http://www.mickeyxtreme.com/images1/news%202005/22705glucasa.jpg

sorry i mean yaaaaaaaaaaaaa xp

what 2 has going for it is that it's better than 1. could never bring myself to watch 3.

2 is worse than 1

although they're both pretty bad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgCGyzABAxM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsm2HiLubY

how lame is it that he doesn't actually kill her

ok the thing about 1 is that in addition to being terrible it provides absolutely nothing to the story arc. i mean it could literally not exist and you could pick up just fine w/2.

there are some neat visuals in episode ii. i like that rainy clone-maker planet and that harryhausen monster gladiator arena toward the end.

but yeah, the movies are garbage.

This thread is depressing me. I've been living in an OG bubble with my precious memories and was unaware of the extent to which Lucas had totally ruined everything.

2 has some bigger peaks than 1 imo but the valleys are abysmally deep

love scenes between two of the most wooden actors in cinema history in ep. II

yes the clone-maker planet or whatever in II, that's pretty great. everything else i guess is pretty horrible.

i like this picture, because vader is all "NOOOOO" but the emperor is all, "dude, yesssss!!!!"

http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l436/elc1247/darth_vader_nooo.jpg

i guess all i am saying is that even tho the romantic scenes in 2 are some of the worst ever committed to film, they advance the overall story--more than could be said about anything that happens in 1.

i liked the wookie planet, was that 3? it has some crazy name like kashhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyykkkkkk

not sure if portman is less embarrassing in the star wars prequels or in garden state

wasn't the original Anakin - as in, the one revealed at the end of Jedi - British?

maybe being British is just indistinguishable from being half-robot and not having had sun on your skin in decades

that's what i call pod racing!

Thought Hayden was pretty good in Shattered Glass, and have liked Portman in some things. I hear that Lucas didn't exactly do a lot of takes, or give notes, or etc.

didn't mind dude in shattered glass but he was a toolbar in Jumper and I have yet to see his Dylan

lucas is a closet bressonian

i will never get tired of complaining about these movies

its a way of life

May the farce be with you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCjIjsZp_Y

i guess all i am saying is that even tho the romantic scenes in 2 are some of the worst ever committed to film, they advance the overall story--more than could be said about anything that happens in 1.

Yeah, I mean: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

immortal dialogue imo

christensen is great in shattered glass but he's supposed to be playing unlikeable

whereas anakin should have SEDUCED the audience with his charms before turning bad... you really should have been onboard with him for like 2.5 of the movies

that would have been awesome. rip childhood :(

he never "turned bad," though, he just sort of had a tantrum and then eventually fell in some lava

um he slaughtered an entire school full of jedi

i think another problem was starting anakin's story when he was a child, i think that all we needed to see was maybe some flashback to him being born and then flash-forward to him as a young adult, skipping all the other shit.

he might as well have huffed off to his bedroom, slammed the door, and then come out Vader the next morning

lol

I find it hard to blame the actors in these fucking movies at all. Yeah Christensen might be a shitty actor (though I'll echo the praise for his performance in Shattered Glass) but Lucas just obviously did not give a shit about the human performances.

This isn't nineties, but I ate this a couple of times as a kid, making faces a lot like the one below:

http://www.thestencil.com/archives/images/cthreeps%20pic.jpg

it was like when butters turned into professor chaos

xpost - haha Que I mean despite the attempt at a drawn-out exposition filled seduction of Anakin to the dark side, he generally just seemed like he got pissy and decided to be bad, there was nothing even resembling like a tragic and conflict-filled change of character

I find it hard to blame the actors in these fucking movies at all. Yeah Christensen might be a shitty actor (though I'll echo the praise for his performance in Shattered Glass) but Lucas just obviously did not give a shit about the human performances

^^^^ Although it does make me wonder if the rumors about the Tom Stoppard polish on Episode Three are true. What good was it if none of the actors knew how to deliver the dialogue?

hahaha "C-3POs -- the breakfast that's both effeminate and contains metal"

"i'll try spinning, that's a neat trick!"

think another problem was starting anakin's story when he was a child, i think that all we needed to see was maybe some flashback to him being born and then flash-forward to him as a young adult, skipping all the other shit.

the prequels are a really good cautionary tale for when you're writing something, be it a novel or a movie script. if you've got some backstory that explains how characters got the way they were, either make it brief or incorporate it into the story. or drop it. don't go back into the past and show us darth vader hitting puberty.

btw shakey's c&p upthread had me dying

http://www.dlisted.com/files/EP2-8_22.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

i would love to see the meter data on natalie portman's individual building

immortal dialogue imo

lolll

lol I am the only person here who doesn't hate these movies

stoppard polish rumor, gimme a fuckin break

http://www.fvaathletics.org/mo/Media/thispartysover.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

btw can i just

Was Anakin's little friend in Ep. 1 actually Greedo? Because if so, then that.

lol I am the only person here who doesn't hate these movies

Nah.

hahahahha ned!

topnotch caption

had it with this motherfuckin utility data on this motherfuckin etc.

http://www.portfolio.com/images/feeds/blogs/15-darth-vader-hand-large.jpg

"Join me, and together we will collect the individual building meter data!"

oh! every fucking jedi council in these movies was so lame! also whenever they're in the galactic senate and there are some fucking et's floating by--that sucked

lol

http://www.geocities.com/ottopallone/sw/sw5.jpg

"Where is that individual building meter data?"

Was Anakin's little friend in Ep. 1 actually Greedo? Because if so, then that.

jesus christ really? it's like everything that should not have been linked up between the two series was, and everything that needed to be was not

his worst crime imo was that in a very bored moment at work i started rewriting one of the scenes from the 1st one that in half-remembered form was still bothering me. he made me do this.

http://smashcut.today.com/files/2009/04/vader_no.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

McDiarmid is pretty good but he's not an emperor, he's the chicken hawk who hits on Chris in "The Family Guy."

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/081002/empire-han-leia-goodbye_l.jpg

"I love utility data!"

"I know."

those really are the two most boring sentences i've ever seen in the english language, it's amazing and hilarious

http://images.publicradio.org/content/2007/05/25/20070525_star_wars_con74318188_18.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

lol I am the only person here in the universe who doesn't hate these movies

― suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:58 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://sharksandbears.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/ewok.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

Dammit you just beat me to the punch latebloomer.

http://www.edholden.com/images/starwars/emperor-luke.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

dammit latebloomer I was about to post that

also my wife likes all six of these movies more than everyone here put together

Caption this one.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050516/050516_ianMcDiarmid_hmed_3p.hmedium.jpg

you guys are killin me

I also do not hate these movies, Dan. I went to Star Wars Celebration in L.A. in 2007 and watched all six in a row for 17 hours.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/e/e8/Yoda%27s_death.jpg

"There...is...an...oth...er...BUILD...ING...MET...ER."

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050516/050516_ianMcDiarmid_hmed_3p.hmedium.jpg

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

lol

possibly because they made him wear a rattail

yeah as far as the devil being in the details, anakin's hair is sort of a nice summation of the crimes of george lucas ('90s on).

possibly because they made him wear a rattail

haaaaahaha Ned people in my office are looking at me like I'm crazy now because of the wang laughing

It is a period of civil war.
Rebel metermen, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil campus utility.

During the battle, metermen
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the utility's
ultimate weapon, the DATA
STAR, an armored space
station with enough savings
to destroy an entire endowment.

Pursued by the utility's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
Zipcar, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save her
people and restore
freedom to the sophomores....

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/__eDmAwVrYYg/SfO3I8LB4NI/AAAAAAAABgo/oMbQ8wTQ5Sk/s400/SWMACE.png

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

what are the best of the non-parody, non-turkish fan-edits of this series? i want to have a star wars marathon but don't want to inflict the official versions on anyone.

oh, forgot about this choice but of dialogue:

Anakin: Are you an angel?
Queen Amidala: What?
Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.

er, choice bit

http://laweekly.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/force_choke_2.jpg

"I find your lack of data disturbing."

Maybe a moderator can take out Shakey's quote and replace it with something that appears to be a bit more conforming.

Dan I was looking for that so thank you.

http://www.postkiwi.com/images/2005/5/Anakin-Padme.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

Anakin: Are you an angel?
Queen Amidala: What?
Anakin: Never mind. But when I grow up I want a piece of that, okay?

thank god no one is sitting next to me today.

This thread is way more entertaining than the prequels.

http://worldofliz.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/jabbaleia.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus."

http://wisportsconsin.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/spaceballs-right-now.jpg

Dark Helmet: What's the matter with this thing? What's all this churning and bubbling? You call this individual building meter data?
Colonel Sandurz: No sir, we call it 'Mr. Coffee'. Care for some?
Dark Helmet: [pause] Yes! I always have coffee when I watch utility data for the entire campus. You know that.
Colonel Sandurz: Of course, I do.
Dark Helmet: Everybody knows that!

Yoda: Good relations with the Wookies, I have.

ew

How old are Anakin and Padme when they start knocking boots?

http://www.dancewithshadows.com/media/images/anakin-skywalker.jpg

http://stupidcelebrities.net/wp-content/marilyn_manson-three-jpg.jpeg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nLxjw6ZMy10/SRu9Vukq1XI/AAAAAAAABnI/_K1Fvm5DgSk/s400/HanCantina.png

"You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? She's the ship that collected the individual building utility meter data in less than 12 parsecs."

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/5557/84445610.jpg

bow down

lol

Not too much different from the actual Episode I crawl tbh

we have a winner

classic

btw there's apparently only a 5 year gap between P & A so that's not as skeevy as I originally thought it was

took these at ALA this week, seems relevant:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3446/3724664350_71004731ac.jpg?v=0
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3434/3724666102_bbee076d83.jpg?v=0
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2484/3723858781_49e00a6222.jpg?v=0

They were handing out compiled individual building meter data.

ACRL didn't have stormtroopers, what a ripoff.

http://www.r2-d2.de/Character/Bilderseiten/ep-5-%20(42).jpg
"downloading ur individual building utility meter data"

http://www.georgettesworld.com/main/lukeobitroopers.jpg

Please note that this is not the utility data for the entire campus that you are looking for.

holy shit s1ocki

http://the-trukstop.com/articles/2007/images/star_wars_wallpaper/wookiee.jpg

"Please note that utility data for the entire campus also included is. This the only data made available with the application was, and in order to savings accurately estimate and verify, individual building meter data obtained from the campus will need to be."

lol at snoball

wtf I don't even remember yoda and the wookies

what drove me NUTS is how he passive-aggressively included the real movie as a "special feature" on the dvd release but not the anamorphic version. SUCH a bitch move.

Ok, I've tried reading about this, but I can't understand it. What does a non-anamorphic DVD release mean? Is the picture squished?

holy fuck this thread is classic

"Non-anamorphic" means the metachlorian count is unusually high for a major studio release.

Ok, I've tried reading about this, but I can't understand it. What does a non-anamorphic DVD release mean? Is the picture squished?

― Emmet Otter's SugBan Christmas (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 3:37 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it means the black bars at the top and bottom are actually part of the image itself. so if you watch it on a widescreen tv, it just floats in the middle with black bars on ALL sides.

IT'S SICK.

does the movie at least bounce around the screen

http://kimskorner.zed1.net/albums/Answers/jarjarbinks.jpg
Please note that utility data for der entire campus also included is. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dis der only data made available with der application was, and in order to savings accurately estimate and verify, individual buildin' mesater data obtained from der campus will need to be. Oh. Flbulbulbu.

Flbulbulbu otm

how long did it take to translate that into jive, joygoat?

btw there's apparently only a 5 year gap between P & A so that's not as skeevy as I originally thought it was

I don't the age gap was the bulk of the weirdness on this one!

^ "think"

There still exists on the internet a Jar Jar Binks translator: http://www.elibs.com/e/funkatize

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j227/bizzarofett/tarkin.jpg

"You would prefer some other utility data? Perhaps individual building meter data? Then name the system!"

I don't the age gap was the bulk of the weirdness on this one!

The age gap wasn't that big, but for that age group it is still pretty bizarre for a woman to be dating someone that much younger.

Baby cougar mama drama

the Jar-Jar Binks translator may have changed my life forever

I'll put it this way

5-year age gap = who cares

you're a 32-year-old woman who meets a 27-year old you used to babysit for as a kid and now he seems cute = go for it

you meet a child and are sort of around as he goes through adolescence and then as soon as he's getting grown up you get with him = did Woody Allen work on this script?

ha! i was wondering how long it would take for ian to get here...

And tis taken even longer for mesa to get back. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa!

Mesa was crushin' on old-school Hillary Clinton (in her Twenties) -- probably because she wesasembles mesa supremely attractive friend Erin (who, despite likin' mesa, is with someone else wight now and so she's horribly unattainable). Huh? Goodness gracious, Mesa'm an absolute sucker for blondes derse days. Way? Esqueeze mesa. But after droppin' by a bookstore yesterday where mesa long-time friend Molly (who is not a blonde, mind yousa) works -- oh goodness, she's always shtunnin' but yesterday Mesa wesaally wanted to pounce on her because she looked so exceptionally scrumptious (without even tryin'!) and was just so bubbly and charmin'. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa wanted to playfully tackle her behind der counter and from derre on it would've been wonderfully inappropriate! Anyhow, she's invited mesa along to dinner and some other event with a group ta her friends on Friday -- tis not a date essentially, but at heart Mesa wouldn't mind if it twisted into one. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Ooh, Mesa just wesamembered that she complimented mesa appearance! No-one ever does that! Squee! Cuddlestein Mountain! Nuvvieworld! okeday, Mesa'm just gettin' widiculous -- Mesa'm just excited because tis a prospect to escape social poverty with a possibulhint ta womance. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa'm probably bein' toosa optimistic; Mesa can't help it! Mesa've wanted somethin' to look forward to!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, August 16, 2005 2:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oh dear.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_976Nt4Z9vlQ/RlcT1-JE3zI/AAAAAAAAA9U/y4yQZzc0fNk/s320/star+wars+trio.jpg

"Where were you guys?"

"We ran into a meter whose utility data was the only one made available on the application."

Yeah, I'm seven years old than my husband, which is no big deal, unless we started dating when I was in senior in high school and he was ten. (We did not.)

xp

you meet a child and are sort of around as he goes through adolescence

Dude, he says at the beginning of Episode II he hasn't seen her in ten years; i.e., ages 9 through 19.

you meet a child and are sort of around as he goes through adolescence and then as soon as he's getting grown up you get with him =seriously though exactly how many roles has Morgan Freeman played where his character could be described as "wise" or "a seasoned veteran" or "jaded"

Does anyone else feel like Padme gets YOUNGER as these movies goes on instead of older?

Dan, I see you and raise you:

---

I had a friend who would chew up two hula-hoops and dern deposit der chewed up gloop inside der O ta a third hula-hoop. Way? Esqueeze mesa. dern she'd eat it. Oh. Flbulbulbu.

Yup, Mesa used to do dis. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa'd also chew up a couple ta pringles and use der wesasultin' paste as a sandwich spread between two intact pringles. Oh, NOOOOO!

-- Markelby (boyincorduro. Way? Esqueeze mesa.), April 20th, 2005 10:57 AM

Well, she acts like a seven-year-old by the time Anakin breaks her heart.

(xpost)

oh my god

"You would prefer some other utility data? Perhaps individual building meter data? Then name the system!"

― I am moving on baby, I am moving on (Pancakes Hackman), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 3:45 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ best yet

Dude, he says at the beginning of Episode II he hasn't seen her in ten years; i.e., ages 9 through 19.

what, I'm supposed to change my mockery based on remembering actual factual details from these films? I think not

but ok fine, then, I guess she can hit that

now say it like Yoda

hit that, she can

Well, you can continue mockery based on the fact that she barely even recognizes him, while he's apparently perved on her from afar for ten years.

a pervert you think she is then, yes, Pancakes? mmm? mmm?

he's using the force like one would use x-ray glasses

Yup. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesaf yousa spend long gettin' friendly before yousa brin' 'Mesa want to be on yousa' into it, dern yousa'wesa kind ta betrayin' whatever friendship yousa've established beforehand. Oh. Flbulbulbu. She's gonna think yousa wesare sweaty-palmin' it all along (which yousa wesare), and it might make things difficult for a while. Oh, NOOOOO!

And yousa know dis, that's why yousa (probably) never wesaveal der sexual tension yousa've built into yr. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! 'friendships', thus sparin' yrself der ugliness. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! And possibulblowjobs. Way? Esqueeze mesa.

Moral: yousa have to be creepy. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Yousa have to make yousar fuck-want clear from der beginnin', even if yousa choose to go smooth and disguise it as 'womantic interest'. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa understand that der womantic interest woute is bery popular. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa!

Mesa didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until Mesa was in mesa 20s. Huh? Drove mesa fuckin' cwazy. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa obsessed about it and about mesa own sexual loserdom to der point ta incapacitatin' mesantal illness and listenin' to Swans wesacords. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Dern Mesa got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and . Way? Esqueeze mesa. wesall, let's discreetly draw der blinds on der indiscretions ta der past. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks!

Disagree that gettin' laid is not a curative, though. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Tis a curative. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa never worried about it after that, and never had trouble makin' mesa intentions clear to girls Mesa liked. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa!

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 2:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I would maybe just reframe my mockery to say it seems a bit of a psychological stretch to imagine a beautiful and successful 24-year-old queen going for a petulant teenager she met once when he was 9, and moreover I think we ALL KNOW where this crappy dating decision led

This thread is one of my all-time favorites. All time.

arsas far as tits go, bigger is better. Way? Esqueeze mesa. mesa gf has two wound wobust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. Huh? i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially der ones that are all nipple. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! mesa cock toosa is a thin' to behold. Oh. Flbulbulbu. mesa gf mesaasured it at 8.5 in ta dark brown veiny mesaxican cock. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! uncut, ta course. Huh? it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. Oh, NOOOOO! but she perfected der art ta deep throatin' mesa shlong. Oh, NOOOOO! i've seen other guys at der urinals and dery see mesa. Oh, NOOOOO! i'm blessed with a flaccid cock mesaasurin' almost 7 inches. Oh, NOOOOO! most guys have little peepees peekin' out ta derir flies. Huh? i have a snake. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! thank u bery much!

-- stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 9:50 PM (5 years ago)

I suspect Dan and I are not helping Nabisco's patient outlining of the general problem.

I would maybe just reframe my mockery to say it seems a bit of a psychological stretch to imagine a beautiful and successful 24-year-old queen going for a petulant teenager she met once when he was 9, and moreover I think we ALL KNOW where this crappy dating decision led

http://smicketysmom.bravepages.com/Es%20Art/Star%20Wars/AniPadme%20Meadow2.jpg

I wonder how the universe would have wound up if she'd been into Macgregor instead

Suddenly, everything was dark and smelly.

xx-post -- What the hell is that and why are you making us look at it.

possibulblowjobs

Yeah, yousa told mesa and that evenin' Mesa vowed never to accompany kev through customs. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dery are kiwi sized but don't appear out ta proportion next to his large cock. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Far from bein' circus-freak like, he is jaw-droppingly awesome. Oh, NOOOOO! Wha a guy. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa can't wait to get home and climb aboard his grocery groin. Oh. Flbulbulbu.

-- Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:09 AM (Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:09 AM) Bookmark Link

"grocery groin"? With that and the pic posted above, this thread is taking a surreal turn.

we've gone straight through some kind of custos event horizon itt

Lucas is reading this right now; he's been googling his name all day and now has his script for next film.

we should be so lucky

lol 'grocery groin'

co-workers will soon notice

must stop reading thread

http://jarjarbinks.home.insightbb.com/Naboo/Tarpals.jpg

Yeah, wesall, Mesa'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so der flowers ta indie wock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to mesa, and always have. Oh, NOOOOO! Der indie world's concept ta sexy is bery closely wesalated to its concept ta 'wock': limp, non-threatenin', far more interested in talkin' than fuckin'. Way? Esqueeze mesa.
-- unperson, Monday, January 7, 2008 7:51 PM

Neddo Raggetta: "What the hutt-slime is that and why are you making us look at it."

^^^ meant in the context of Lucas is reading this right now; he's been googling his name all day and now has his script for next film.

okay so Mesa figured 'dis won't be bad, maybe some awkwardness and dependin' on how tis Mesa'll either keep goin' to der kitchen or wun back to mesa woom'

so ta course Mesa walk out derre and she's got her ass in der air while dis scrawny indie fop WEARING A TRUCKER HAT AND NOTHING ELSE is attemptin' to INSERT HIS COCK IN HER ASS. OH, NOOOOO!

ON MY COUCH

Mesa go out and dis sight actually caused mesa to go 'oh ugh god!' Mesa woommate tumbled out ta her awkward position onto der floor landin' on her shoulder and Trucker Hat fell to his side with a grunt. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! mesa woommate shrieked 'wha are yousa doin' home?!' and scampered into her woom, almost on all fours, past mesa. Way? Esqueeze mesa. she slammed der door behind her. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Trucker Hat gathered his pants and WAN INTO THE KITCHEN

ta course i followed him and he was sputterin' 'sorry dude sorry dude' and Mesa just said 'let mesa get mesa sandwich and yousa go clean up MY couch!' he agin said 'sorry sorry sorry' and wan out ta der kitchen and to der bedroom, he pounded on der door and asked to be let in, and mesa woommate let him in.

MESASA JAR-JAR BINKS! MY LIVING WOOM SMELLS LIKE NOTHING MESA'VE SMELLED BEFORE

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, April 13, 2004 4:10 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

memory is fuzzy but was queen amygdala an elected queen with term limits? how do you go about electing royalty?

probably in an election

I can totally see how an elected queen works -- it's just like any other elected position except you get special clothes and better stuff for your family

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elective_monarchy
Although it's implied in II that everyone votes in the Naboo elections.

I can totally see how an elected queen works -- it's just like any other elected position except you get special clothes and better stuff for your family

You also get to boink guys you used to babysit.

fuckin gungans, they just vote for whoever promises more welfare

sure it wasn't decided through collecting utility data?

queen amygdala--sounds like the queen of STD's. What is Amygdala anyway

in fairness, boinking the babysitter/babysittee just a universal perk of politics

we've gone straight through some kind of custos event horizon itt

― Kashyyyk Goood Frriieends (goole), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 4:18 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

too true :(

(xxpost) Amidala - amygdala is a bit of yer brain

(xxxpost) But that would only work if they had utility data for each individual building, which they didn't because their application wouldn't allow it.

http://coreygilmore.com/uploads/2007/08/beating_a_dead_horse.jpg

what I do best...

that's a 'shop

the crimes of Cowardly G. Soundgarden (342 new answers)

no I'm pretty sure it's a horse

why are the guys from Office Space beating a horse

because of the data thing

Definitely a 'shop. Ron Livingston originally had a golf club in the horse-beating scene.

One thing that really bugs me in these movies is that they insist on putting every last line of Yoda's dialog into his screwed-up Yoda syntax. There's a scene in Attack of the Clones where Yoda is supposed to be commanding the Clone Army in the heat of battle and it's obvious that his garbled syntax makes snap decisions virtually impossible because it takes him 10 times as long as it should to give a simple order.

When The Phantom Menace first came out, there were lots of crazy people arguing that it was a better movie than the original because it had "real" actors like Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor rather than Mark Hammil and Carrie Fisher. These people were obviously smoking crack.

haha i didnt even know that was from office space. still havent seen!!

was this literally crazy people yelling things on street corners saying this?

xpost - WHAT?!

do you think you could find anybody (outside of skywalker ranch) these days who will go to bat for these movies, specifically to argue that they are better than the originals? do this person exist?

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/120294/better_than_the_original_trilogy_the.html

^^ the article for which the word "challop" was invented

Nowhere in the original Star Wars trilogy is there any sequence of events nearly as profound in their application to real life as the manipulation of Palpatine as he orchestrates the separatist movement "headed" by Count Dooku, which allows him to go before the senate and ask for special
"emergency powers" to deal with the growing threat facing the peace of the republic. Perhaps if America had embraced the prequel in the way they did the original Star Wars trilogy they would recognize the danger when an elected member of a representative republic asks for "emergency powers" to combat a threat.

makes you think

Watching the Stars Wars prequel is like a lesson in civics

sounds fun

^^ the article for which the word "challop" was invented

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 5:42 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that's not even challop-quality, too earnest

i mean

Chances are you don't even remember these words of Darth Maul: "Fear is my ally."

He's written a number of things.

There is no scarier scene in the entire Star Wars canon than the one that takes place in Attack of the Clones between Anakin and Amidala when they are having a discussion about the politics of the republic, and Anakin suggests that the system is broken and needs to be replaced with something where one person in charge has the power to enforce laws he feels is for the good of the people. To which Amidala replies, rightfully, that what Anakin is talking about sounds like a dictatorship. And then these all-too-familiar words from Anakin: "Well, if it works."

dont you see??? the iraq war is OUR fault. for NOT LOVING THE PREQUELS.

The Disappearance of Sunday Best and the Relaxation of Proper Church Attire
What is acceptable to wear to church changed quite a bit over the last quarter of the 20th century.

^^ the article for which the word "challop" was invented

The Effect of Crime Scene Investigation Technology on the Private Detective Show
What ever happened to the traditional detective show on TV? The crime scene investigation show killed it, that's what happened to the traditional detective show on TV.

Class Warfare, Ideology, and the Ways in Which Rap and Country Music Are Identical Entities
Some of the greatest music in pop history was forged by the rebelliousness engendered by class warfare; then there's rap and country music in which class distinction created the desire for assimilation into the capitalist ideology.

do you think you could find anybody (outside of skywalker ranch) these days who will go to bat for these movies, specifically to argue that they are better than the originals? do this person exist?

I'm not sure we have that individual data here.

There is no scarier scene in the entire American canon than the one that takes place in between McCain and Palin when they are having a discussion about the politics of the republic, and Palin suggests that the system is broken and needs to be replaced with something where one person in charge has the power to enforce laws he feels is for the good of the people. To which McCain replies, rightfully, that what Palin is talking about sounds like a dictatorship. And then these all-too-familiar words from Joe The Plumber: "Well, if it works."

What Do You Know About Weddings?
Weddings are one of the oldest and longest-lasting rituals known to man. The joining of a man and a woman in matrimony is a rite of passage shared by civilizations across the planet.

Bio:
Timothy Sexton was named AC's very first Content Producer of the Year. If you get the message on his home page here that he has published no content, understand it's a glitch: he's published 3500 pieces of content on AC alone.

Interests:
Ticking off conservatives by revealing how facts disprove their ideological theories, revealing the complexities of movies that have been dismissed by clueless critics, The Simpsons, 80s alternative music

Motto:
Eat the rich...but try to avoid the diarrhea that comes with eating something so vile.

Affiliations:
Buy My Novel Bizarre Love Triangle
Buy My Novel Antichrist, Superstar: The Musical
Cedric Martin is a Crook

Titles that I Published This Week that You Probaby Weren't Notified Of
I did not receive notification of most of these articles having been published so I assume most subscribes did not. I simply want to bring attention to the fact that I was published this week. Not a lot, but here are some you may have missed.

With the Adoption of Preventive Detention Pres. Obama Becomes the New Cheney
Yes we can? Oh no, you didn't! Obama's acceptance of preventive detention means suspects can be jailed without evidence based on what they might do in the future. Is Obama really just Cheney in disguise?

Is the Catholic Church an Institution Too Silly to Be Engaged in Serious Discourse?
Isn't it time to relegate the Catholic Church to the same peripheral status we give to Flat-Earthers and right-wing militias and neo-Nazi skinheads.

Yes, isn't it.

How to Quit Wasting Time and Start Making the Most of Your Day
A little lesson in time efficiency.

On that note.

I have distinct memories of LOTS of people around me going to bat for these when they first came out (particularly I, but also III) but 10 minutes into Phantom Menace I basically became a completely unforgiving asshole about Lucas and his general horribleness and had a lot of arguments with various apologists.

The Effect of <something_you_like> on <something_you_hate>.
What ever happened to the traditional <something_you_like>? The <something_you_hate> killed it, that's what happened to the traditional <something_you_like>.

i think a lot of people were in denial early on, kinda like everyone i was with at this midnight screening of 'the matrix reloaded'

i went to the matrix reloaded with like 12 of my friends and we all came out and before anyone said anyhting i was like well that was a huge piece of shit and then no one would talk to me for the rest of the night

theres a picture somewhere of me as a junior in high school with a bunch of other dudes outside a movie theater where theyre all giving a thumbs-up sign and im standing slight off from the group giving a thumbs-down

brand loyalty is a weird thing

I STILL stand by my claim that the series went to hell with Empire Strikes Back. They'll have my Star Wars original edition DVD-R sourced from LaserDisc when they pry it from my cold dead utility data.

I wasn't really ever bothered by moving Jabba, and only moderately bothered by Greedo shooting first. What bugged me the most was all the shit added to Mos Eisley. I loved it when it felt more like an empty and evil version of Barstow.

I did kinda like the production design and architecture of II and III. It was like all the Kelly Freas and Omni magazine covers brought to life.

that's an unusual claim... imho Empire's the best one, the only one that's really enjoyable start-to-finish.

Actually, I'm more bothered by all the extra shit added to THX 1138

I have distinct memories of LOTS of people around me going to bat for these when they first came out (particularly I, but also III) but 10 minutes into Phantom Menace I basically became a completely unforgiving asshole about Lucas and his general horribleness and had a lot of arguments with various apologists.

― Bizarro Morbius (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 4:52 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^this, except instead of having lots of arguments, I just quietly ended lifelong friendships and eventually moved out of the state completely.

I have a couple little nephews (8 and 10) who still get really upset whenever I am forced to admit how much I hate the prequels

^^this, except instead of having lots of arguments, I just quietly ended lifelong friendships and eventually moved out of the state completely.

That's...extreme.

it was a pretty bad fuckin movie

that's an unusual claim... imho Empire's the best one, the only one that's really enjoyable start-to-finish.

― Bizarro Morbius (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 5:58 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i dont know about only one but it is weird to think EMPIRE of all things is where it went wrong... it's where the series went RIGHT!

Hey, Elvis - any chance of hooking a brother up?

it's ok for a kids movie. except all that stuff about trade disputes and campus data collection.

I was exaggerating a little bit. (Although I do have two friends with whom I maintained only trivial contact after I moved out of state (for non-Star Wars related reasons) in part because their endless enthusiasm for the prequels, even after they came out and proved to be almost physically painful to endure, made me examine whether we were really all that compatible, friend-wise, or whether our friendship was mostly logistically driven.)

I don't give a shit about Star Wars, but I think George Lucas made a dumb cameo on The O.C. once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iwxrGHiS6Y

guys reading this in the library was a fucking trial

i think a lot of people were in denial early on, kinda like everyone i was with at this midnight screening of 'the matrix reloaded'

Yeah, for about a year after Episode I came out I was pretty insistent that it was a good movie, I wanted so much for it to be a good movie it took a while to admit that it wasn't.

It's good that we know each other now, then.

Thing is if you read the first draft of the original star wars story it's terrible. Then he reworks it a bit and it's still terrible. Then I dunno he goes and reads The Hero with 1000 Faces or whatever and suddenly you've got this gem. And ok he sustains it for Empire but Jedi is pretty bad... so realistically what we're talking about here is not the betrayal of a lovable and long-lasting franchise, more the failure to repeat one or two flukes.

so realistically what we're talking about here is not the betrayal of a lovable and long-lasting franchise, more the failure to repeat one or two flukes.

very true - when you look at his overall career arc its pretty bad, there was nothing in it to suggest that these sequels were gonna be anything other than terrible. (Altho you have left out the anomaly of American Graffiti, which is pretty good.)

one of my bosses lives next to George Lucas and I have to continually bite my tongue whenever he's blathering on about something "cool" he heard about/talked about with/witnessed involving George

(oddly I do not have to bite my tongue at all with my ILM-employed bandmate, who, as an employee of Lucas's, is entirely cognizant of his failings)

Everyone has opinions exactly what is wrong with them and how they can be fixed but movie editing software is so cheap and easy to use now. I mean... have at it, guys!
I await your results.

the editing is the least of these movies' problems

*star wipe*

I've read off and on how enterprising nerds were able to excise Jar Jar and Jake completely and seamlessly from the series, and that sounded pretty impressive.

I dunno if this is challops or just overfamiliarity with the cliches thanks to decades of teen comedies, but American Graffiti did pretty much nothing for me when I finally saw it a year ago.

when you look at his overall career arc its pretty bad

As a writer-director-producer, yeah. As a film-technology guy, he's been immeasurably important, esp. in terms of sound design, sound editing and nonlinear film editing.

Not that he invented any of that stuff himself, but he assembled the teams that made it happen.

very true - when you look at his overall career arc its pretty bad, there was nothing in it to suggest that these sequels were gonna be anything other than terrible. (Altho you have left out the anomaly of American Graffiti, which is pretty good.)

I dunno...Diner makes AG look anemic.

"film technology" guys should know better than to insist on being writer-directors.

(I haven't seen AG in at least 15 years, so its possible my memories of it are overly rosy)

No argument there! xp

i loved the '97 rereleases, but i was 11 years old at the time and still impressed by, like, final fantasy cut scenes

How come every fucking scene in these movies involves someone standing in front of a window with a million fucking things happening in the background.

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:22 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this made me legit lol btw

still reading the thread so maybe this has been mentioned already but one thing in episode three that drove me nuts as much as anything in the prequels - was just talking w/my dude about this the other day actually - was when they had james earl jones talk in an american accent at the end of the movie, to match up w/fukkin hayden christinstinet's voice. goddamn that was some bullsquid.

i also never really 'got' why there were so many dang racialist stereotype aliens - obviously i'm not offended by them, but it's just mystifying, it's not like there was a precedent from the earlier movies???

it depends on how you feels about the "jawas" (p.s. they did alderaan)

I bought the 2006 limited time re-releases merely cuz they contained hte original theatrical cuts (albeit in very low quality laserdisc transfer, but who gives a shiz).....

then I farted in Lucas' face

one of the crazyfrustratin things about the prequels is how there's all these hints of badassery on the margins that's never delivered on - like fukkin temuera morrison as jengo fett, and the whole clone army of jake the musses, but it's never really as cool as it should be. the whole thing is just like.... unexploited opportunities. it's like if u were present at 9/11 and had ure handheld camera trained on the towers, and right before something happened (planes hitting, towers falling, people jumping) you train the camera away and zoom in on a cloud shaped like a giant pair of balls

episode II is, i still maintain, one of the all-time great comedies though. the more 'human' lucas tries to make things - the more he tries to emulate human emotions with his cold steely robo brain - the more insane and embarassing shit gets. i saw it with a non-nerdy adult audience at a midnight showing, and as a collective experience it really drove home for me that it uh... i was just like, this HAS to be satire or something. the whole theater was losing its shit by the time we get to the shot of portman wearing a leather bustier and chilling out by a fireplace, it reminded me of vivian leigh in 'touch of evil' or something.... the whole romantic storyline, the holy-shit-are-you-shitting-me-ness of almost every scene (yoda fight), it fries my circuitry so much that i cant even articulate what im getting at so i'll just conclude by posting this:

[img]http://i25.tinypic.com/1z222dd.jpg/img]

http://i25.tinypic.com/1z222dd.jpg

one of the crazyfrustratin things about the prequels is how there's all these hints of badassery on the margins that's never delivered on - like fukkin temuera morrison as jengo fett, and the whole clone army of jake the musses, but it's never really as cool as it should be. the whole thing is just like.... unexploited opportunities. it's like if u were present at 9/11 and had ure handheld camera trained on the towers, and right before something happened (planes hitting, towers falling, people jumping) you train the camera away and zoom in on a cloud shaped like a giant pair of balls

Yes, that is exactly what I thought. Imagine if you'd been on the plane with your camera.

the prequels are a really good cautionary tale for when you're writing something, be it a novel or a movie script. if you've got some backstory that explains how characters got the way they were, either make it brief or incorporate it into the story. or drop it. don't go back into the past and show us darth vader hitting puberty.

I remember reading something about prequels somewhere which basically summed up why they were bad with the line, "Oh, Gandalf, kiss me again."

lol i saw ep II at the mann's chinese theater in hollywood on a massive screen with a packed house that could not stop losing its shit over every serious scene.

When I saw ep 2 the guy next to me yelled out "HEY LOOK ITS SHREK" every time a CGI character appeared on screen.

lol i saw ep II at the mann's chinese theater in hollywood on a massive screen with a packed house that could not stop losing its shit over every serious scene.

otm. My buddies and I treated it like Mystery Science Theater shit.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle1296.article.jpg

something that hasn't been mentioned: Jar Jar Binks casting the vote that grants complete power to the Emperor.

It's funny to read the Jedi hate/disappointment cause I loved that movie so much when I when I was a kid. I was a month shy of my 9th birthday when it came out and I knew it was going to be coming out for ages before, back when it was going to be called Revenge of the Jedi so I was super excited and looking forward to it. I didn't even hate the Ewoks.

In retrospect yeah it's not as good as Empire but it was so mind-blowingly great when I first saw it that it's hard to dislike it too much even now.

Jedi has lots of awesome shit in it. Great space battle stuff, the vader-luke lightsaber fight is cool. The first 30 minutes are just plain awesome with Jabba, the Rancor etc.

My main problem with the Ewoks was just the ridiculousness of them defeating the stormtroopers in hand to hand combat. The part where the ewoks and han surprise the stormtroopers on top of the building is just insane and really takes me out of the movie.

Ewoks = VC ?

They should have done more VC-style boobytrapping, instead of felling stormptroopers with twig-sized arrows.

haha yeah

something that hasn't been mentioned: Jar Jar Binks casting the vote that grants complete power to the Emperor.

― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 9:47 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you may be the only living human being who remembers that detail

it was so mind-blowingly great when I first saw it that it's hard to dislike it too much even now.

see I wonder how much this effect will be in play for those who were kids when the prequels come out - or if they will, over time, grow to hate acknowledge them as crap.

I remembered that Jar-Jar cast the vote that granted complete power to the Emperor and that's really the only reason I can stand the Jar-Jar character at all.

are going to have a thread next week called the trial of george lucas

No, but I'd imagine we'd have some fun with "the execution of george lucas"

"They should have done more VC-style boobytrapping, instead of felling stormptroopers with twig-sized arrows."

If Lucas has ruined with his CG knives, why in principle can't we make it more awesome by tastefully splicing in footage from Full Metal Jacket like you suggest?

More ewok tunnels, pitfalls with spikes, and teddy bears punching bound storm troopers in the kidneys while shouting "Didi Mao".

are going to have a thread next week called the trial of george lucas

― Mr. Que, Thursday, July 16, 2009 11:47 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that's basically the plan but i hadn't come up wiht a name yet so thank u q

Nominating Shakey Mo as stenographer

basically all the imperial ground troops were felled because some muppets threw a bunch of small rocks at them

I still think that:

- aside from Jar-Jar and Anakin, Episode I is good
- aside from Hayden Christensen, Episode II is good
- aside from Hayden Christensen, Episode III is good

I do recognize that a trilogy where the worst, most detestable (in execution, not plotwise) actor/character is the main focus of the story is problematic but it's also par for the course with the Star Wars movies; if anything, the problem with the prequels is that there is no comparable synergy to the Harrison Ford/Carrie Fisher sparks to get you to ignore how awful the plot and most of the acting is. Had they cast a love interest for Ewan (besides Hayden Christensen), conventional wisdom on these movies would be completely different.

a love interest for Ewan (besides Hayden Christensen)

bahahahaha

i think the big problem with this trilogy isn't storywise but execution-wise. there was a sort of looseness to the OG trilogy that the new ones are missing. a lot of the serious shit and the mystical bullshit was around the margins plus it had a character or two built in to call bullshit on it and to suggest that the FORCE wasn't always the answer (cf han solo showing up at the end of ep IV).

part of me cannot believe i actually typed that, or typed everything else i've written on this thread

conventional wisdom on these movies would be completely different.

Maybe so, but I definitely would still hate them.

GIS searching for 'obi wan anakin love' leads to odd results.

we could argue all day about what were the specific problems w/ the prequels, & ultimately i think the answer is basically just that they were shitty movies with shitty actors written and directed by a chinless goofball

that being said imo the biggest gap btw 4/5/6 and 1/2/3 is that 4/5/6 were pretty FUNNY, like basically every main good guy except luke and obi wan is comic relief and han/leia/3p0 are actually pretty hilar, and in an actual non-slapstick adult humor kind of way, where as 1/2/3's humor is derived basically from unfunny racist cgi aliens

occasionally a robot will fall over!

what a disaster for robotry

the problems with the prequels are all about execution--from story to script, as a director of actors, and in creating images that people might actually want to look at. max is also otm the prequels were heavily juvenilized and their tone is pretty much totally divorced from the originals.

yeah basically han solo taking the piss out of everything was essential to the first 3 films and tbh his character's arc was by far the most interesting, but then it dead-ended when he got frozen and apparently lost his ability to do anything other than lead midget furries around a forest

I would like to offer my services for the upcoming trial. I am unsure as to how I can best be of service, but I have legal training.

i think i knew the prequels were gonna be shit when the very first trailer for ep I showed a thrilling shot of boring-looking robots cresting a grassy ridge

i think i knew the prequels were gonna be shit as soon as that crazy galactic senate trade shit started scrolling across the screen and then the racist cgi aliens showed up

I didn't mind them running with the idea that the mystical Force is always the answer in the prequels, given when they happen in the story and who the main characters are; it would have been odd to have a skeptic running up and going "oh come on, that mumbo-jumbo that btw is the main peacekeeping force of the galactic gvt and flexes its muscle regularly on dissidents is just a pile of handewavey crap" given the prevalence of the Jedi in the life of the Republic. I do kind of mind that they cast a total knob as Anakin in all three movies and then didn't minimize his dialogue or have much cooler characters do all of his heavy-lifting for him. There was a real lack of coherence in the prequel trilogy that isn't there in the originals; you have the good guys (Rebels with Han assist) and you have the bad guys (Vader and the Empire) and they are basically constant throughout all three movies; not having those distinct sides probably made the threat too diffuse (Palpatine and his one follower doesn't generate the same level of threat to the viewer and all of the Republic separatists were too disconnected and uncoordinated to come across as a credible threat).

Plus Anakin was a tool.

And yet, I still like these movies.

"the prequels were heavily juvenilized"

Huh? But these have always been movies about lazer swords and pew pew pew!
There's some argument somewhere justifying adult criticism of children's books that I used to accept but now, not so sure. Please help reaffirm my faith that old folk have any business critquing movies like SW, other than normal parental concerns like it'll rot their brains and turn them into space-republicans.

but then it dead-ended when he got frozen and apparently lost his ability to do anything other than lead midget furries around a forest

have u ever been frozen and used as interior decoration? that's some traumatic shit.

simply not making eps 1-3 story and characters good/interesting/fun enough

as max pointed out the humor in 1-3 (or at least 1 and 2 as i never saw 3) is more juvenile and slapsticky, one of the main characters in 1 is a child, another could not possibly be enjoyed by anyone who is not a child.

there is nothing about 4 and 5 that says "this is for kids" to me, laser swords incl.

this is a real lego

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SD4eU30CWiY/SOHKah_LfMI/AAAAAAAAAxA/zb3AG210TE0/s320/Lego+Star+Wars+Mini-Figure+Han+Solo+In+Carbonite+Block.jpg

I think it's funny that 4-6 have simplistic kiddie plotting with adultish performances and 1-3 have overcomplicated adult plotting with kiddie performances.

the idea that obi-wan having a girlfriend could have saved these movies is jedi-master-level wishful thinking

the point being that the original 3 are just as crappy and the thing that saves them is two good actors with good chemistry doing a conflicted love story and how there's no parallel with the one good actor who gets a significant amount of screentime in the prequels

"the originals sucked too" argument does not fly with me.

if i was going to write a list of "things that saved the first three star wars movies," "han and leias romance" (which takes up like what maybe 15 minutes of screen time across the trilogy??) would be a lot lower than say "light sabers" and "golden gay robot"

"the originals sucked too" argument does not fly with me.

― saddam hoosteen (s1ocki), Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

haa i was about to make this point. or, more to the point, hating the prequels has led me to basically hating the whole star wars industry complex thing outright.

I guess you could throw "more concerted efforts to kill the annoying lead character" in there, too

alec guinness, worlds that seem real and lived-in rather than CGI, mysteries hinted at rather than spelled out (the point upthread about the clone wars just being hinted at and sounding all the more epic for being a tossed-off mention vs the actual depiction of the clone wars is a good one)

the overall tone of the two sets of movies is just totally, completely different imo.

i would say the major difference between the two sets of films is that the originals are awesome fun lighthearted but just serious enough imaginative epics that everyone loves and the new ones are boring pompous racist shitstains that every hates.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjIM0-BoH0o

also the originals were creating a mythology and backstory out of necessity as they went while the prequels felt, for whatever reason, totally burdened by that mythology and backstory (which led to retarded shit like young anakin meeting r2d2).

I do admit it's kind of funny how R2D2 and C-3P0 spend all of that time with Luke and never once mention that they knew his father.

didnt threeps have his memory wiped?

i actually thought the idea of them being continuing characters throughout the whole jammy was kind of a cool idea, like the series was ultimately about THEM... too bad that stuff sucked

wouldn't it be awesome to have prequel prequels, where we find out how 3PO and R2D2 met

it's like everything that should not have been linked up between the two series was, and everything that needed to be was not

― Kashyyyk Goood Frriieends (goole), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 2:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

I just want to reiterate that I agree with almost every criticism in this thread except for the racism accusations but I still like the prequels.

we are not going to stop until we have ilx-approved treatments for a different set of prequels aren't we

maybe we can get dan lacey to storyboard for us

didnt threeps have his memory wiped?

I once asked something along these lines in a thread about the prequels, basically wondering how if like everyone from the original 3 was somehow passing through the new ones, not even any of the robots were like "hey, you know what's funny is, umm, so I met your dad once?" -- There was a long strand-weaving explanation about memory-wiping and coincidence that was easier to just accept than actually think about

to wikipedia!

However, C-3PO becomes a witness to his maker's turn to the dark side of the Force when he accompanies Padmé to Mustafar and Anakin, now the Sith Lord Darth Vader, uses the Force to choke her into unconsciousness. When Obi-Wan's duel with Vader moves to the interior of the facility on Mustafar, C-3PO and R2-D2 take it upon themselves to get the injured Senator aboard her cruiser. When Obi-Wan returns to the ship, C-3PO pilots it to the asteroid facility of Polis Massa and witnesses Padmé give birth to the Skywalker twins, Luke and Leia, and die shortly afterward. C-3PO and R2-D2 fall into the custody of Bail Organa, who orders that C-3PO's memories be wiped on the Tantive IV in order to protect the twins from Palpatine and Vader, and the Empire that has taken over the galaxy.[6]

I've met a fair number of people who have worked with George Lucas at LucasFilm or ILM, and let's just say that they never have anything positive to say about him.

oh yeah i forgot that anakin MADE c-3p0 which is just the height of what a less cultured man than myself might call gaywaddery

Especially if they study the kinds of shoes Lucas tends to wear.

xpost

i would like a cut of the prequels with all the sound effects retained but pretty much all of the dialogue muted. that is the kind of technology Lucas should've concentrated on after THX (esp. as he said himself he wanted kids to understand what was going on in the films without having to rely on the dialogue, not that that explains it's general poorness).

(keep the music too yes)

i would like a cut of the prequels with all the sound effects retained but pretty much all of the dialogue muted

Half the complaints about Jar Jar and other aliens in the movie would have been taken care of if they'd gone the route with Greedo, Jabba, etc. in the originals and had them speak in Ben Burtt-invented languages with appropriate subtitles, I figure.

I liked the conceit of two lowliest characters being the true heroes of the series, and I wish Lucas had made them more self-serving and avaricious like in Hidden Fortress. It would have been neat for the prequels to see them in the employ of Palpatine, then defecting to rebels after some bumbling infraction makes them fear for their lives. Along the way R2 can spot the plans for the Death Star and swipe them hoping for riches on the black market. C3P0 catches him and demands a 60/40 cut and amusing bot slapping ensues.

Hey let's play game -- 70s trilogy or 90s trilogy?

'The loudness, the smash-and-grab editing, the relentless pacing drive every idea from your head; for young audiences “Star Wars” is like getting a box of Cracker Jack which is all prizes.'

'Lucas has got the tone of bad movies down pat: you never catch the actors deliberately acting badly, they just seem to be bad actors'

Ben Burtt invented Swahili?

Ben Burtt invented Swahili?

I was thinking more Huttese.

Burtt also invented Urdu.

that is the kind of technology Lucas should've concentrated on after THX (esp. as he said himself he wanted kids to understand what was going on in the films without having to rely on the dialogue, not that that explains it's general poorness).

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:47 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

am i crazy or do i not remember lucas talking about how he wanted the prequels to effectively be silent movies, which is why the dialogue is so artless and perfunctory i guess

'The loudness, the smash-and-grab editing, the relentless pacing drive every idea from your head; for young audiences “Star Wars” is like getting a box of Cracker Jack which is all prizes.'

kael quote, so that's the original trilogy imo

Kael actually loved The Empire Strikes Back, disliked SW, and despised the one with the Ewoks.

I've met a fair number of people who have worked with George Lucas at LucasFilm or ILM

I think most everyone here works on ILM! Or at least contributes.

xp 'loved' Empire seems like a stretch, but she rightfully pointed out that it was the most imaginative and artfully made of the movies

there's no star wars poll? like which one of the three is the best? it's #2, right?

of course it's V

a Star Wars poll would just force us to do our routines one more time.

Do you know what, I say "use your HATRED Anakin" all the time. the Viceroy picked up one of those kids picture books that has 10 buttons that make noise and did a PERFECT job recreating III with it. "Use your HATRED Anakin" "I must return to Naboo" "volcano sounds" "I must return to Naboo"