don't panic, but "SWINE FLU COULD SPREAD GLOBALLY"

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/25/swine.flu/index.html

Scary scary.

OMIGOD REMEMBER WHEN MAD COW WAS GOING TO KILL US ALL???

HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE BIRD FLU

nooooe
why the piggieeees
me need bacooooon daily likeeeee

don't worry,you could still eat it.the infection is from other persons who got it...

You people are too used to having epidemiologists save your bacon when it comes to preventing epidemics. Consequently you are more clueless than you realize.

Swine flu is utterly nasty stuff that can easily kill the weak and the old and make the young and hale feel like death warmed over. And it can spread like nobody's business. In the third world especially this could be bad, bad, bad news.

Read The Great Influenza, about the 1919 flu epidemic, if you want a bit of insight into influenza and its capacity to kill. That flu strain could kill a healthy, straping young adult less than 24 hours from the onset of symptoms!

i hope this will make people stop fronting with this whole OMG I LOVE BACON shit nowadays

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/statements/2009/h1n1_20090425/en/index.html

It's H1N1, not good.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_flu

Those birds must be feeling pretty smug now.

the chirpy bitches

http://www.creators.com/comics/37/34366_image.gif

The first case was seen in Mexico on April 13. The outbreak coincided with the President Barack Obama’s trip to Mexico City on April 16. Obama was received at Mexico’s anthropology museum in Mexico City by Felipe Solis, a distinguished archeologist who died the following day from symptoms similar to flu, Reforma newspaper reported. The newspaper didn’t confirm if Solis had swine flu or not.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aEsNownABJ6Q&refer=worldwide

good movie plot

Swine flu is utterly nasty stuff that can easily kill the weak and the old

Fuck those guys imo

http://www.who.int/csr/swine_flu/swineflu_qanda_20090425.pdf

Yup, NV. Seriously, fuck infants, disgusting, weak little bastards that they are. Always crying over something. We should just kick them all to the curb and to hell with that noise.

This is Sparta, dude.

i didn't realize the virus has already spread to the US...

u can catch it from the internet

xpost

UK radio is running a story tonite that a member of British Airways cabin crew has contracted it whilst back here. Obviously I'm ignoring this story as I'm a nasty kinderphobic bigot.

Sorry, contracted it in either Mexico or the US but then developed the symptoms whilst back here.

Most of Mexico’s dead were young, healthy adults, and none were over 60 or under 3 years old, the World Health Organization said. That alarms health officials because seasonal flus cause most of their deaths among infants and bedridden elderly people, but pandemic flus — like the 1918 Spanish flu, and the 1957 and 1968 pandemics — often strike young, healthy people the hardest.

hopefully this will mean the end of wkd's marketing campaign

Don't get why nobody ever points out that medicine was not awesome in 1918.

Got that pandemic!

also this:
A British Airways cabin crew staff member is being treated in a London hospital with "flu-like symptoms" after arriving on a flight from Mexico City, health officials said Saturday
The Health Protection Agency stressed he was undergoing tests "as a precautionary measure," adding there are no confirmed cases of human swine flu in Britain or Europe.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gzCWv4j9VeAlnz_8j236JDWc2ujg

ditto standards of quarantine, general health vigilance etc xxp

The outbreak coincided with the President Barack Obama’s trip to Mexico City on April 16.

Fucking thanks, Mr. Obama.

that's one way to improve unemployment numbers : \

yeah right, BLAME THE OBAMA PIG

http://www.northstarwriters.com/brettnoelimages/05March2009cartoonpage.jpg

I heard FDR was a communist.

just waiting for the outbreak of guano-spread flu and the resulting batshit cartoons

NV, you are right that medicine is now more capable than in 1918. But pandemics of highly infectious diseases are still not easy to contain without resorting to the same sorts of crowd dispersal and quarantine methods they used back then.

This shit does not have a magic bullet. Mass vaccination is not as simple as all that. In advanced countries many lives could be saved by prompt resort to intensive intervention, where available. But the worst menace is in countries without the medical resources of the wealthy countries, or in the remote rural areas of places like the USA.

I keep misreading porcine as porcupine :-/

i bet you my bottom dollar there's at least one girl in France named Porcine

Aimless I understand and respect that a disease like this is mostly a threat to developing nations or whatever euphemism we choose to adopt, if I have a bone to pick it's the fact that Western news outlets don't/won't write the story from that angle.

Don't get why nobody ever points out that medicine was not awesome in 1918.

― Eugenecist Levy (Noodle Vague), Saturday, April 25, 2009 6:39 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark

btw this has not a lot to do w/the dynamics of viral pandemics

I guess I'm thinking more of the general well-being of working class people in rich countries between 1918 and 2009 but it will be interesting to see if this ever plays itself out. Also a reading of previous ILX "We're All Going To Die" threads is instructive here I think.

i mean, i ~think~ i know what you're driving at, but w/r/t a viral flu pandemic, the only thing that the "general well-being" of working class people might have to do with preventing a pandemic is how it affects their immune systems response. the healthcare apparatus can try and deploy touch-and-go prophylactic vaccines and some antiviral drugs (which, it should be noted, do not "cure" the illness or reduce infectivity), but i'm not sure how the general well-being of the western working-class will have any effect on the spread of an airborne virus.

were we all so bad off in 1918 that everyone, including the young and healthy, was immunocompromised?? srs question!

I don't know about the States, but in the UK the diet of working class people was fucking terrible, in terms of inadequacy of calories consumed and general lack of vitamins and other important stuff. So bad in fact that WWII rationing pretty much massively improved the diet of most of our country. Now I guess you're saying that these things don't affect how a virus spreads, but I'm thinking that what will be different now is the immune systems. Which won't stop the illness spreading but could significantly dent the number of fatalities - caveat again - in the developed world.

well yeah that's what i'm wondering. was everyone so malnourished back then that their immune systems were depressed? sounds like maybe!

which then leads me to wonder: is this whole 'the young and healthy' were hit especially hard just a statistical misinterpretation? like, on a normal distribution, most people are not-elderly or infantile, and not ailing or in esp rude health! so basically pandemics ~by their very nature~ will appear to hit the young and healthy the hardest, because they're pretty much the bulk of the population!

Also wondering if young and health = more likely to spend time out and about where flu might be caught.

Mexico's over-65s make up approximately 6 percent of that country as opposed to 12 percent in the US and 16 percent in the UK so that must bend the curve somewhat.

Also wondering if young and health = more likely to spend time out and about where flu might be caught.

― eggy mule (Hurting 2), Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:30 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

good point.

if this gets into the prison system, it will shred them to bits :(

just waiting for the outbreak of guano-spread flu and the resulting batshit cartoons

― sorry for british (country matters), Saturday, April 25, 2009 11:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^^ underrated post

maybe we should let all the other things that are supposed to kill us actually work their magic before gettin all worked up over this one

who's worked up

Okay my enemies, get to killing me.

maybe we should let all the other things that are supposed to kill us actually work their magic before gettin all worked up over this one

Funny you should mention that. Here in South Florida, we have an unexplained outbreak of deadly meningitis.

But I'm not making light of the swine-flu problem. Sounds horrible, and no vaccine = scary.

singling people out isnt my AIM, that's for a LESSer man

xxxp

real talk tho im sure this is a serious problem, forgive me if i'm a little naive/jaded about shit like this

But I'm not making light of the swine-flu problem. Sounds horrible, and no vaccine = scary.

― Daniel, Esq., Saturday, April 25, 2009 7:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

no real treatment, either. antivirals help, but they don't work the same way as antibiotics---we can't really 'cure' viral infections the way we can with bacterial ones

basically when you contract a viral pathogen, it's between the pathogen and your immune system

Purely airbourne transmission, from casual contact, is that right?

what the world really needs is a prion pandemic

only then will i truly head for the cellar with 500 tins of luncheon meat and a shotgun

So now we have reports of "mild cases" of the swine flu in NYC and "flu-like symptoms" in a bronx daycare. But the former would only have been tested/reported after such an "outbreak" and the latter may be nothing at all. It also happens to be the beginning of allergy season, which I am hardcore feeling.

It's the reaction of the Mexican gov't that makes it seem so alarming. Closing public events, distributing surgical masks. It sounds like the plot of a bad Steven King novel.

what the world really needs is a prion pandemic

only then will i truly head for the cellar with 500 tins of luncheon meat and a shotgun

― sorry for british (country matters), Saturday, April 25, 2009 8:05 PM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark

quick, everyone, spot the flaw in this plan!

more than one, actually ;)

i have gone down there to shoot the luncheon meat, as i suspect it of harbouring variant cjd

:)

a wild hog just bit me, should I be worried?

I wouldn't start any long books.

i meant for the pig

i remember the big swine flu scare of the 70s. turned out to be a false alarm. the early reports on this version are scary tho.

http://www.capitalcentury.com/1976.html

I'm coughing and my tail has suddenly become very curly.

Daniel, the reaction of the Mexican government in banning large public gatherings is, at this moment, entirely justified by the nature of the problem they are dealing with.

Influenza is highly infectious and is passed by casual contact among people who are asymptomatic. Once it really gets going in a population it is very difficult to deal with. Because this strain is among the most deadly known, it is perfectly reasonable to throw up obstacles to its rapid transmission to crowds of people at once.

Masks are also a good idea, provided they are the correct sort of masks and are worn correctly. The problem is that most untrained people are unlikely to use them correctly until they are scared enough to pay careful attention, so this is not as good an early measure as crowd dispersal. Them viruses are small and easy to inhale.

As usual, if no pandemic appears, many people who were inconvenienced by public health measures designed to prevent the pandemic will claim there was never any danger and the officials overreacted.

Like I said, read The Great Influenza. You'll be plenty impressed at what this stuff can do.

The Swine Flew

http://i41.tinypic.com/9qgsd0.jpg

Does this mean that all those things people said would happen "when pigs fly" are now possible?
(That some bird flew is way more likely, maybe this should be called swine fever)

Ugh, pharmacists at work (like five of them) were joking about why pigs and birds were hanging out at the first place, which I thought was just lol joeks, but then they proceeded to spend like twenty minutes talking about it and showing that they basically knew less about flu epidemics and the mutation of the virus than I do from my reading of a handful of NYT articles over the years.

I usually try to rep for pharmacists (most are doctors too, rooting for the home team, etc) but seriously, guys had no idea what they were talking about. It was really strange.

President Barack Obama's health is fine a little more than a week after he traveled to Mexico, where an outbreak of swine flu has killed at least 68 people and sickened more than 1,000, the White House said Saturday.

"The president's trip to Mexico has not put his health in any danger," said spokesman Robert Gibbs.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/25/AR2009042502068.html

which then leads me to wonder: is this whole 'the young and healthy' were hit especially hard just a statistical misinterpretation?

No. Give statisticians a little more credit than that. Then google "cytokine storm."

glad doctor aimless is here to save us

Daniel, the reaction of the Mexican government in banning large public gatherings is, at this moment, entirely justified by the nature of the problem they are dealing with.

I don't doubt it. Do we in the United States have a (a) better chance of containing the virus, should it begin to further spread here or (b) higher survival rate, among those who contract it? I'm not asking based on any cultural bigotry, but because (a) you said upthread that swine flu could be "espcially bad news for the third-world," and (b) a CNN story this morning says that "U.S. health officials said Friday that some cases of the virus in the United States matched samples of the deadly Mexican virus. All the patients have recovered or are expected to."

AP ran a Q&A about Swine Flu this morning.

No. Give statisticians a little more credit than that. Then google "cytokine storm."

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Sunday, April 26, 2009 5:25 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

i was thinking more about journalist's misinterpreting stats, but thanks. I suppose I should have thought of the 'cytokine storm', but yeah, that makes total sense.

yalls got sars

^ lock thread

^ quarantine thread

whaat

U.S. public health officials did not know about a growing outbreak of swine flu in Mexico until nearly a week after that country started invoking protective measures, and didn't learn that the deaths were caused by a rare strain of the influenza until after Canadian officials did.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/25/AR2009042501335.html

heck of a job

huh

http://scienceblogs.com/aetiology/2009/04/swine_flu_a_quick_overview--an.php

http://www.radiohead.com/deadairspace/

Drudge Report is making me feel pretty good right now

NYT: Breaking News 1:48 PM ET:
Swine Flu Prompts U.S. to Declare Public Health Emergency

i have swine flu

RIP max

I made an awesome your mom joke about max's mom having swine flu and giving it to me, but then my hard drive crashed

RIP your hard drive

Hopefully this flu pandemic will be similar to the time I got flu really bad in elementary school, missed school for a week, and beat Dragon Warrior I TWICE.

since i live in san diego i am very interested in this bird flu stuff.

but then again i don't think there've been any cases in tijuana so maybe it won't get here

At church today they started out the service by saying, "We're all disease vectors; remember to wash your hands." The guy was wearing one of those hiking hats w/the neck-covering tent-type flaps.

Good advice, tho: wash your hands.

ZOMG ZS you beat Dragon Warrior?!??? I <3 you.

Isn't the Dragonlord THE most disappointing-looking final baddie of all time?

Did you ever get the diamond shield?

Did I BEAT Dragon Warrior I?

I taught that game who was boss so many times I literally lost count. For a long time that was the only game I had so I would just play it continually, beat it, start again, over and over.

and I DID get the diamond shield! I had the Nintendo Power strategy guide to it so I pretty much knew where everything was. Including that one hidden item in the middle of the swamp.

Josh Marshall (TPM) had the same question I did: "A continuing mystery is why the apparent swine flu infections in the US appear to be much less virulent than the one in Mexico."

WOW @ Drudge Report headlines:

JANET: EVENTS DO NOT WARRANT TESTING OF PLANE PASSENGERS FROM MEXICO...
'NO EVIDENCE' OF BIO-TERROR...
CALDERON TELLS MEXICANS TO STAY CALM, COOPERATE WITH AUTHORITIES...
CDC RECOMMENDS PLANNING FOR SCHOOL CLOSURES...
Positive: NYC students...
WHO: Swine flu could mutate to 'more dangerous' strain...
Flu fears prompt quarantine plans...
Mexico City residents staying at home...
CLOSE TO 1,400 SUSPECTED CASES...
Russia Suspends Imports of Meat From Mexico, Some U.S. States...
New swine flu likely widespread...
Asia on alert...
10 New Zealand students in scare...
Mideast First: Israeli man hospitalized on suspicions...
6 CASES CONFIRMED IN CANADA...
Spain announces 3 suspected cases...

__________________________

PÁNICO !!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/8019544.stm

this hospital is like ten miles from me! These mild flu-like symptoms experienced by people who have been to areas of Mexico not known to be affected with the virus are surely only the very beginning of a pandemic which will ravage the west of Scotland.

It's been nice knowing me.

RIP.

Meanwhile the BBC says.
Only a handful of the Mexican cases have so far been laboratory-confirmed as swine flu, while in the US confirmed cases had only mild symptoms.

WHO TO BELIEVE!

Drudge must be excited, hoping that this is Obama's Katrina.

on the other hand HOLY FUCK WE ARE DOOMED

radio reporting bruce willis just got shot in an airport

I live on an island :)
oh, wait :(

Wake me when "Don't Fear the Reaper" starts playing

whuh?

Newsweek is reporting that Bea Arthur died of swine flu.

whuh?

Bruce Willis Shot!

Josh Marshall (TPM) had the same question I did: "A continuing mystery is why the apparent swine flu infections in the US appear to be much less virulent than the one in Mexico."

― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, April 26, 2009 2:35 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark

this is a good question! it's possible that, while both the US and Mexican cases are H1N1, they're not exactly the same, genetically.

...ho wait SWINE FLU COULD SPREAD GLOBALLY is the name of my dog!

dudes, hipster grifter chick is swine flu patient zero

Hopefully MIA will write a song about this.

Mideast First: Israeli man hospitalized on suspicions...

must... resist... zing

http://www.thenation.com/blogs/thebeat/430261?rel=hp_picks

But they are the biggest fans of Millenarian thinking!

Josh Marshall addresses his earlier question (and mine) from before:

Late Update: Let me take a moment to reemphasize the 'appear' and 'apparent' in the sentence above. There are various hypotheses as to why there might be such a difference, as this Times article explains. But it's important to note that whatever spread there is of swine flu in the US seems much earlier along than in Mexico. And the sample size of cases in the US is exceedingly small. So we simply do not have enough data yet to judge what the difference in the virulence in the two countries is or whether there's any difference at all. I strongly recommend reading the Times article linked above.

The NYT article Marshall mentions is here.

just waiting for the outbreak of guano-spread flu and the resulting batshit cartoons

Brilliant!

Swine Flu meta-aggregator of other meta-aggregators for infovores:
http://addictomatic.com/topic/swine+flu

all 7 cases in california are in san diego and imperial counties. i don't want to freak out until we know more, but i am acutely aware that i live in a large, dense, populous city that's only a few hundred miles from those places. and i was just at l.a. union station over the weekend -- people take the amtrak surfliner from san diego into that station all the time!

ok, if we're counting, it's only 120 miles from downtown l.a. to san diego. it feels farther.

radio reporting bruce willis just got shot in an airport

― admin log special guest star (DG), Sunday, April 26, 2009 8:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^^^ good joke

Google maps with all locations of (possible) cases of swine flu. (Denmark, France, Spain, Scotland on this now as well)

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&t=p&msa=0&msid=106484775090296685271.0004681a37b713f6b5950&ll=32.639375,-110.390625&spn=15.738151,25.488281&z=5

----- Original Message -----
From: RM
To:
Sent: Saturday, April 25, 2009 9:13 PM
Subject: Do Not Take Swine Flu Vaccine!

Do Not Take A

Swine Flu Vaccine!

From Patricia Doyle, PhD

4-25-09

I am making a plea to everyone who reads this, please, please DO NOT TAKE ANY VACCINE THAT IS PURPORTED TO 'PREVENT' THIS FLU.

Remember 1976 and the so called Swine Flu outbreak that was purported to be a coming pandemic? It only infected recruits at Ft. Dix. Why? Because I believe that the so called Swine Flu virus infected the recruits due to the vaccines they were given. Whether the government developed the Swine Flu 1976 virus and infected the recruits as a means to test the public to see if people would comply with a call to take vaccination against Swine Flu, or the recruits became infected via contaminated vaccine they were given as part of the recruit regimen, that outbreak was as phony as they come. I was one of the people duped into taking a Swine Flu shot and it made me so sick. I was sick in bed for three months after taking the vaccine.

Do not take seasonal flu vaccine if you are told that it could help prevent this brand new Swine Flu variant. It won't do a thing to prevent this flu. What it will do is serve up new genetic material to the Swine Flu virus that I have dubbed Spanish Flu 2, the Sequel. The Spanish Flu variant will use the gene sequences in the vaccine in humans to develop more of the changes that make the virus more readily infect humans. We do not want to give this virus more human genetic material so that it will infect humans more readily person to person. This is what vaccinated individuals do for pandemic strains.

There is also a safety issue in any experimental vaccine, much like the one in 1976. Some people even feel that such a vaccine for pandemic strain might require more than one vaccination which could actually be a binary set up. The first shot might just add some genetic code that stays dormant in the body until one gets the second vaccine shot which then serves to only cause infection. It could trigger Guillain-barre syndrome, Typhus or some other condition.

An Influenza vaccine does not protect or prevent a person from contracting flu. It is purported to, maybe, prevent some complications of flu and maybe shorten duration. I am not even sure it does that. Personally, I feel the vaccine weakens our immune system and also sickens us due to contaminants in the vaccine. I feel that people can better protect themselves by washing hands often and thoroughly. People should also use protective gloves when out and about during epidemics. Don't be afraid of "looking odd." I would not be ashamed to use a mask and gloves. I see that the Mexicans are using them.

A big problem during a pandemic is that these simple supplies will become extremely scarce awfully quickly. Stock up now. Medical supplies. personal hygene supplies and don't forget fido, or any other pet. Once a pandemic hits, it will be too late to stock up. Water, too.

We may lose clean water and electric power, so be prepared.

So, please, people, DON'T TAKE ANY VACCINES OFFERED. THEY COULD KILL YOU BEFORE ANY VIRUS KILLS YOU.

Pat Doyle

Patricia A. Doyle DVM, PhD Bus Admin, Tropical Agricultural Economics Univ of West Indies Please visit my "Emerging Diseases" message board at: http://www.emergingdisease.org/phpbb/index.php Also my new website: http://drpdoyle.tripod.com/ Zhan le Devlesa tai sastimasa Go with God and in Good Health

http://www.rense.com/general85/vacc.htm

radio reporting bruce willis just got shot in an airport

― admin log special guest star (DG), Sunday, April 26, 2009 8:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^^^ good joke

― one thousand BIG HOOS raging and pounding (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, April 27, 2009 9:06 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not getting it but want to. did 'die hard 2: die harder' involve sswine flu?

'PhD Bus Admin'

the Swine Flu virus that I have dubbed Spanish Flu 2, the Sequel

the host for the above piffle:
http://www.rense.com/1.mpicons/bigjeffSP.jpg

12 monkeys dude

Who has this on his front page, which, quite frankly, is a good competitor for santorum.jpg:

http://www.rense.com/1.imagesH/campfema_dees.jpg

Why Is Barney the Sheffield Wednesday Owl on the FEMA Deathtruck?

Whoah, would like to see a hi-res of that one

awesome

This is probably for the batshit thread but there's more:

http://www.rense.com/1.mpicons/dees1.htm

lol he's also driving the truck.....now we know our enemy

Never forget the owl flu epidemic of '88.

You would be a twit to.

Sheesh, that link totally brings me down, Ed ;_;

'probably' batshit? xxxxp

It is pretty grusome.

haha Ed, I was just gonna post that link

Giant syringe indicates dude has uncovered secret Obama/FEMA zombie-revival conspiracy.

http://www.best-horror-movies.com/images/reanimator-movie-poster-small.jpg

http://i42.tinypic.com/dvm1wn.jpg

!!!!!!!!!!

dope shot tho

On Sunday, Mexican Health Secretary Jose Angel Cordova said suspected swine flu cases in his country had risen to 1,614.
Of the 103 deaths in Mexico, only 20 are so far confirmed to have been caused by the new virus.

I wish they would explain this more. Does this mean the other 83 deaths have been confirmed as NOT the new virus or just not been confirmed as anything yet? How long does it take to confirm such things?

The Scots couple have been in hospital since Saturday and the test results still aren't back.

Apparently there are only two labs in north america that can confirm such things (in Atlanta and Winnipeg) so confirming takes a while.

The labs have all been really busy thanks to Jade Goody.

xp

Obama's swine flu scare after shaking hands with archaeologist who died 24 hours later

All hail el presidente smiling joe.

So have any of the deaths been confirmed as definitely NOT the new virus?

http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/

A man who shook Barack Obama's hand in Mexico died the next day from symptoms similar to those of swine flu.

vs.

Mr Solis had taken Mr Obama on a tour of the museum on April 16, a week before his death.

But Obama was only there for a day? Am I missing something? The news on this whole thing is so effing confusing.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ieHZRubAS3lyjn2GBiCPkXkHrXwwD97QROAG0

uh

Meanwhile...someone's fetish prayers are answered.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/04/27/article-1173756-04AFA7EC000005DC-582_468x365.jpg

“We may just be looking at the tip of the iceberg, which would give you a skewed initial estimate of the case fatality rate,” he said, meaning that there might have been tens of thousands of mild infections around the 1,300 cases of serious disease and 80 or more deaths. If that is true, as the flu spreads, it would not be surprising if most cases were mild.

Even in 1918, according to the C.D.C., the virus infected at least 500 million of the world’s 1.5 billion people to kill 50 million. Many would have been saved if antiflu drugs, antibiotics and mechanical ventilators had existed.

nyt

never realized that the 1918 pandemic was ~that~ pandemic. one in three ppl got it! yow!

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ieHZRubAS3lyjn2GBiCPkXkHrXwwD97QROAG0

uh

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Monday, April 27, 2009 4:19 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark

oh my fuckin god

kinda lol but mostly wtf

"Sen. Collins expressed concern about a number of spending provisions, including $780 million for pandemic-flu preparedness." (which the GOP succeeded in getting dropped from Obama's stimulus package)

http://collins.senate.gov/public/continue.cfm?FuseAction=PressRoom.Articles&ContentRecord_id=46d6e846-802a-23ad-4ccd-8f37bc42d004&Region_id=&Issue_id=&CFId=960&CFToken=38005608

(I am physically unable to link to the next site without swearing so I won't comment)

http://michellemalkin.com/2009/04/27/of-course-swine-flu-is-all-the-evil-gops-fault/

Funny thing about that is that she doesn't actually respond to the charge. (Unless you count the Surber quote.)

On September 16, 2008, the body of Yorkshire landowner Sir Mark Sykes was exhumed to study the RNA of the Spanish flu virus in efforts to understand the genetic structure of modern H5N1 bird flu. Sykes had been buried in 1919 in a lead coffin which scientists hope will have helped preserve the virus.[41]

In December, 2008 research by Yoshihiro Kawaoka of University of Wisconsin linked the presence of three specific genes (termed PA, PB1, and PB2) and a nucleoprotein derived from 1918 flu samples to the ability of the flu virus to invade the lungs and cause pneumonia. The combination triggered similar symptoms in animal testing.[42]

digging up someone with the virus late 2008 and testing it on animals and people catching the virus 2009 from animals coincidence?

5.8 earthquake in Mexico City, ffs

wha?

BBC just said it as breaking news, nothing new since.

Here we are, 145 miles south of Mexico City
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsww/Quakes/us2009fya9.php#details

http://www.rockymounttelegram.com/news/world/strong-earthquake-felt-in-mexico-city-570940.html

tommorow's breaking news:
atomic bomb on mexico city...

CNN: "Magnitude 6.0 earthquake reported 50 miles northeast of Acapulco, Mexico, according to the U.S. Geological Survey."

i'll speculate minimal damage in mexico city, if the epicenter was that far away. but yeah, if it results in a serious disruption of the public health infrastructure, then there may be some problems

my friend on AIM --

Becky: omg i overheard this lady at the coffee shop talking to her friend saying that no one is going to die in the US of swine flu because we're not a third world country
what an idiot!

tommorow's breaking news:
atomic bomb on mexico city...

a bit OTT just to eradicate swine flu

with possible danger of creating RADIOACTIVE SWINE FLU

Swine Flu confirmed in Scotland; patients not v. ill, symptoms mild.

Seven of their friends showing mild symptoms

Aren't "i like to fart and i am crazy" two of the symptoms?

we are all vectors

Swine Flu confirmed in Scotland; patients not v. ill, symptoms mild.

Seven of their friends showing mild symptoms

So. This is either the beginning of a hellish pandemic or a lot of people sniffing, coughing and spending a couple of days in bed.

Good news for: makers of man-size tissues, soup, daytime TV.

Bad news for: bosses everywhere. "No, I don't think I can come in today ... *feeble cough* ... might be that pig-flu thing ... *sniff* ... better not risk it, eh? *Pathetic splutter*"

With the ability of flu virus to mutate quickly, this isn't and either/or proposition. We could have six months of widespread relatively mild flu that spreads rapidly, followed by a year of hellishly virulent flu that spreads just as rapidly and re-infects people who had the first variant.

There's no simple storyline here except that public health officials need to work this hard and try to contain it as best they can.

http://gizmodo.com/5229314/follow-the-swine-flu-in-real-time-with-google-maps

What's great about public health officials is that they freak out about these things so we don't have to.

I mean, average citizens should really not match their freak-out thresholds to public health officials. Our freak-out thresholds should be way, way higher. It's the circle of life / freak-out thresholds.

didn't read the whole thread so sorry if this is a repeat but they might want to consider calling this something other than "swine flu" if only because people still seem convinced you get this by eating pork

i love how the article in a local newspaper screamed "OMG WE ARE GONNA DIE PORKIE STYLE" but then when you read the article it assured we wouldn't.

http://twitter.com/veratect

big boy was warning everyone on hot 97 that you dont get this from eating pork and that guys saying "oh i dont eat swine" should be less self-congratulatory

Guys, the thing is that if we freak out about this, we'll look like total wimps in front of the pigs

They will never let us forget it

they should call it Bacon Flu

did ppl think avian flu was transmitted from eating birds?

walking back from dropping my laundry off just now i coughed and this lady looked at me sideways and picked up her pace

Do as many people know "avian" = "bird-related" as know "swine" = "pig"? (A: No)

Since I work a door down from the ER and my roommate is about to start working at a restaurant where the staff frequently travels to and from Mexico, I figure we're just racing to see who can get swine flu first.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/186102293_763e58959f.jpg

true. . . but didn't most news orgs refer to it as bird flu in headlines

did ppl think avian flu was transmitted from eating birds?

Don't ever underestimate how fucking stupid people are.

"Belgium: Six suspected swine influenza cases reported by national authorities. #swineflu"

the newspaper article claimed the risk here in belgium was minimal. LIARS.

There's no simple storyline here except that public health officials need to work this hard and try to contain it as best they can

Agreed, but I don't think that's going too well right now, given that A&Es are going to be chock-full of sniffling bell-ends panicking their little hypochondriac heads off. For every reasonable and sensible thing I read, I'm reading two that make me want to inject people's fucking eyes with ebola.

i'm gonna start coughing on the street when i'm walking around, just for fun

i stopped eating sarsage for a while a few years back

just overheard: mum complaining at dad that he didn't buy some facemasks on Ebay for 25 quid

like, ffs

i'm gonna start coughing on the street when i'm walking around, just for fun

^ This. While eating bacon sandwiches. Genius.

Yeah, but I'm guessing "bird" just doesn't sound like food to most people, which seems like the functional bit here -- like "chicken flu" would probably make some people afraid of biting into chicken, whereas "monkey pox" makes people afraid of getting bit by a monkey -- beautiful beautiful context

cm, you're kidding, right?

buying used facemasks on Ebay=great idea

you don't know who wore it!

oh chirst, fiction and reality are mixing it up big style in my head. i just had a pic of that swine scene from damages.

kidding

Official soundtrackers to the 2009 swine-flu pandemic:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3186/2576714064_2e479b9771.jpg?v=0

http://www.frightcatalog.com/i/360x360/1217003.jpg

how about this?

I have brainiac in my head now.

Anyone read/know how long the disease takes to begin showing symptoms in someone? I read that the first cases in Mexico were reported in March. Does that mean it's likely that the infected people got the virus in March, or perhaps February?

u hav pork flu and r going to die sry

Dr. Icey over here

Last night my Mom got on the phone and said, "We should probably just kill all Mexicans. That would solve a lot of problems at once." Me = o_O

Is that a pic of Pig Destroyer, Grimly?

The band he posted? That's Clinic, I think.

ok wth erica

I KNOW!!!!

Jesus that sounds like something my dad would say (ie it is appalling).

think of the tacos ma

Or my dad. Or my mom. Do we all secretly have the same parents? Do any of your parents make unexpected visits to Missouri occasionally?

my mum merely wants facemasks, i don't think she has anything against Mexicans

i ain't being seen dead in one of those things fwiw

(facemasks, not Mexicans)

HAA

in asia u see people wearing these things* all the time when they hav colds to protect others - thats called consideration - think abt it rest of world

*facemasks, not mexicans

This reminds me of how we were all supposed to die of SARS a few years ago, then MRSA, then bird flu.... Oh yeah, smallpox was in there somewhere. And anthrax.

Smallpox was never in there.

ps a significant number of people did die from those things

people are still dying from MRSA in particular

yeah, mrsa is actually a huge problem, ~Bill~

dudes be cool to bill he has pork virus and is going to die

Uh yeah MRSA is a big serious deal and anyone who is wanton and shortsighted with their antibiotics gives me an Alex-in-NYC-level rage-on.

my mom likes mexicans

so my trip to San Miguel the first week of June might be last trip ever : /
later dudes

upon arrival u will cough up a blt and expire

x-posts Yeah, my Mom is sort of a not so great person in many ways. Dislike of Mexicans just tip of the iceberg really. Your mom most likely > mine.

sorry sorry poor judgement it makes it look like i am referring to mexicans as "things" ;_; when in fact i mean no such inference, bleh foot-in-mouth disease

lol remember the foot and mouth disease farrago, they executed so much goddamn livestock :(

my micro prof has been hammering home this whole semester that wtf docs anytime anyone's got anything with the potential for resistanc you should treat with multiple antibiotics

My friend, her experience with MRSA was so bad she attempted suicide to try and get over it. And she still has outbreaks every now and then. It's wicked shitty.

abbott i forget what are you studying??

hoos is mexican

just wash the pork chop off w/antibiotic soap and u should be fine

gbx is your prof repping for throwing broad spectrum at everything or against it?

I am studying biology; want to be an epidemiologist.

Is MRSA such a huge deal in the US as here?

hoos is dying of swine flu because ericas mom killed him

!!!!

i <3 u, that is what i'd like to study (if i get an MD/MPH)

not throwing broad spectrum, but multiple antibiotics. multiple antibiotics (even if it's known that the bug responds to just one) doesn't impose the same kind of selection pressure: a given bug would have to develop/harbor resistance to, say, three different drugs instead of just one.

mrsa is a nightmare as far as nosocomial infections are concerned.

guys do we have to quarantine hoos to 1p3???

*whew,* okay

We should start our own Dragnet, you & me, of epidemiology good time funventures. I'm just going for an MPH.

Oh no! Hoos to thread to check-in and verify this is not true pls.

i was going to have quesadillas for dinner tonight :/

rip hoos, he was mexican not a facemask btw

Verify he's not a Mexican?

n/a make "spanish" quesadillas--you should be ok

Can I hang out w/ the epidemiological duo just because I find it fascinating even though I might not know much?

mostly i am interested in spatial epi/medical ecology, but i need to find someone here who will let me study that w/them. also, which dept??? eco, mph, or geography???

i can verify--hoos is mexican & he is dying of swine flu

Can I call Hoos to make sure he's not a facemask?

gbx you are a superstar, and of things even greater than filibusters

swine flu can be transmitted via texting and cell phone calls so i would not call hoos no

guys btw i own a mexican facemask. it is from la lucha libre and a wealthy mexican gave it to me at a busstop in colorado because i admired it.

hoos is so generous

sounds like gbx has swine flu as well

See the problem in mexico is the facemasks cover most everything BUT the mouth & nostrils.

You would literally be caught dead in one.

this thread needs to be quarantined

no it's cool it's five years old and i washed it because when he gave it to me it smelled like vanilla (????)

hoos is patient zero for the mexican country ham epidemic btw

fuck washing a mask

great now there's a strain of mexican flu that makes you smell like vanilla

http://kecute.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/luchador-pug.jpg

It also turns you into a dog!

rip this thread

^ quarantine thread

― ice cr?m, Sunday, April 26, 2009 10:43 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this thread needs to be quarantined

― Mr. Que, Monday, April 27, 2009 3:25 PM (45 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

btw fyi

:-(

"ps a significant number of people did die from those things'

No. Certainly not significant enough to signify some sort of global "pandemic". The NYC news led off the first 15 minutes of the 11 o clock news last night about a few kids in Queens who had the sniffles. Give me a fucking break.

that's why yr a doctor, Dr. Icey--you're a cutting edge thread wonder

rip hoosteen 4/27/09 never forget (mexican)

This thread has been locked indoors with a a Mexican facemask by an administrator.

no one ever heads my pandemic warnings and now they are all dead especially bill magill

Way to die, Bill. Sheesh.

Pitchfork reporting Warren Fischer from Fischerspooner has been hospitalized with swine flu.

jeez rip bill magill

heaven needed a dude who loved hookers and Sabbath

how many deaths will hoos cause 2day

third year peds resident just sat down next to me so now i gotta go back to work :(

rip evan

See Hoos' grim workings live in real time

The H in H1N1 is for HOOS

HOO FLU

the newspaper article claimed the risk here in belgium was minimal. LIARS.

― the tip of the tongue taking a trip tralalala (stevienixed), Monday, April 27, 2009 8:40 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Haven't you noticed yet? There's never any risk, ever.

Train full of dangerous chemicals on fire, everyone close their windows and stay inside, no danger to the population.
Factory exploded, unknown stuff on fire, half a city evacuated, no danger to the population.
Two school children die of meningitis, four others quarantined in special hospital wing, police is looking for classmates extremely urgently, no danger to anyone.

etc

http://shouldibeworriedaboutswineflu.com/

That's kind of a dick page: 8% mortality rate isn't yr "average" flu. If the message is "don't panic and be hysterical mokes", fine, but it reads a bit like "don't give it a second thought", which is nonsense when the WHO pandemic level's just gone up to 4.

Chuck Grassley knows what's up:
http://twitter.com/ChuckGrassley

LOL

lol @ bad science

xps

also (i didn't check yr math, but) 8% mortality rate is hueg

also spurious comparisons to heart disease and car accidents (and i'm normally lol annoying cyclist y u drivin)

mortality rate in the United States: 0

glad yr back ;)

no, j/k, stfu, u pedant

who wants my authentic Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) name tag? the bidding starts at $100.

i'm dead btw guys thx for your well wishes

i shld really check that 8% figure out, it was everywhere this AM (And thing that made me pay attention) but I can't find cites now.

well, i'm guessing it's from the 80 or so deaths from the 1000 or so confirmed cases in Mexico. which last i checked had been upgraded to 100 or so deaths out of like 1300, but that's essentially the same. thing is, tho, is that (as stated somewhere up thread) there are probably loads of much milder cases of H1N1 in Mexico that haven't presented to hospital, that the actual mortality rate is much lower.

rip big hoos

36K die each year from the flu. This 'hamdemic' scare is 100% bullshit.

hamdemic!

more like epigdemic, amirite?

missing u hoos
mourn ya 'til I join you
(in mexican graveyard)

so Bruce Willis got shot because he had pig flu?

no it was because he was attempting to enter Facemask without wearing a mexican

WOOL PIG

wool, pig

http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/images/woolpig.jpghttp://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/images/woolpig.jpghttp://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/images/woolpig.jpg

http://www.adrants.com/images/wool_ass.jpg

http://www.kylareitti.com/kuvat/kohteet//13/12.jpg

If all the wool dies in mexico I will be so sad.

wow

I'm not exactly holding up "the end is nigh" signs in the streets, but the "other bad stuff happens so this can't be a big deal/one time I heard there was something to worry about and then it wasn't that bad" argument is retarded.

agreed!

yeah for real
but
actually hearing either one constantly is draining
like anything else

well, when 36K die each year from plain ole flu, why the fuck are people freaking out about a tiny number of deaths? i actually know the reason. ratings, clicks, money. media outlets are pushing this story to drive traffic and viewers. call me when 37K are dead.

retarded

challopin 2009

rip brotherlovesdub
missing u

i actually know the reason. ratings, clicks, money.

W.H.O. more like PUBLICITY W.H.O.RES amirite

ok NRQ that is your first bona fide IRL lol in like weeks, welcome back bro

When even someone going by "buttz" finds your three sentence brainshit irredeemably stupid, it's time to reassess.

vvvvvvvvv dude

your retort has severely damaged my psychological state. i'm now extremely worried about the swine flu. thanks for the excellent information you've provided.

love off, brother

Why? Because It's A Good Story, That's Why.

dear buttz: your contribution to this thread =

"NYT: Breaking News 1:48 PM ET:
Swine Flu Prompts U.S. to Declare Public Health Emergency

I made an awesome your mom joke about max's mom having swine flu and giving it to me, but then my hard drive crashed

Hopefully this flu pandemic will be similar to the time I got flu really bad in elementary school, missed school for a week, and beat Dragon Warrior I TWICE.
Did I BEAT Dragon Warrior I?
I taught that game who was boss so many times I literally lost count. For a long time that was the only game I had so I would just play it continually, beat it, start again, over and over.
and I DID get the diamond shield! I had the Nintendo Power strategy guide to it so I pretty much knew where everything was. Including that one hidden item in the middle of the swamp.

Mideast First: Israeli man hospitalized on suspicions...
must... resist... zing

Or my dad. Or my mom. Do we all secretly have the same parents? Do any of your parents make unexpected visits to Missouri occasionally?"

---------------

Thanks for the excellent breakdown. I can't believe you resisted that Israeli zing, you're the king of zing!

rip bro

feel glad he didn't post some sort of ghastly gif

of a wool pig?

this looks bad

and Dragon Warrior

broseph, I didn't resist the israeli zing - that was butt-rock miyagi.

And Dragon Warrior I rules.

And I made a youtube video about you

guys:

Pakistani leader: Bin Laden 'may be dead'

... of swine flu?

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1538569,00.html

Bin Laden may be dead article from 2006^

yeah but he obviously wasn't dead then duh

now he is dead, probably of swine flu

That's a 100% mortality rate among Osama Bin Laden!

We should be really scared.

imagine the spike in the line graph xp

probably bit by a z=swine flue zombie hoos

heart shep

why grassley's tweeting fyi

http://stuffaboutstates.com/agriculture/livestock/hogs.htm

the bird is interesting in this context

http://twitter.com/cdcemergency

I stayed home today because I think I have really bad allergies.

oh who am I kidding, I'm dying of swine flu.

http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg

I coughed in an elevator this evening. Other person in elevator did not look askance. Must not know about swine flu!

i like aids better

i prefer sids.

http://www.vinmag.com/online/media/gbu0/prodlg/TS055.jpg

okay serious question, when they say:

He also stressed that the experts did not recommend closing borders or restricting travel. "With the virus being widespread... closing borders or restricting travel really has very little effects in stopping the movement of this virus," he said.

I would've thought restricting travel would have a drastic effect in stopping the virus movement. Can someone explain please?

okay clue was in the question. ignore me.

here's a question: how far can flies fly? the non-mainstream media is reporting that this started with flies swarming around a contaminated pig waste lagoon at a smithfield-owned hog farm in veracruz.

+ totally impractical anyway

xpost

i just read some of the pig waste theory stuff, mostly just shows how bad science education is tbh.

Cannabis Science Inc., an emerging pharmaceutical cannabis company, reported today on the current state of development of its whole-cannabis lozenge in response to Homeland Security Administration Secretary Janet Napolitano's declaration of a public health emergency to deal with the emerging Swine Flu pandemic. The Company's non-toxic lozenge has properties that could alleviate many of the symptoms and harmful effects of the H5N1 bird flu and H1N1 swine flu viruses, and has offered its assistance to HSA today in a letter to Secretary Napolitano. The Company has offered to produce up to 1 million doses of its whole-cannabis lozenge, and provide them to HSA for distribution at cost.

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/cannabis-science-inc-reports-prospective/story.aspx?guid={03D1AE62-679E-460D-988F-EE0966A80445}&dist=msr_2

I like pot and everything but fuck these guys imho

is this some "legalize it" blackmail from NORML?

this thing started around 4/20, right? < /omgwtfbbq conspiracy theory>

Basically THC is a wonder drug when it comes to restoring the appetite and reducing the nausea of many patients on chemo as well as reducing the effects of some glaucomas, and no duh should at least be Schedule II for medical purposes, but for the flu it just makes whatever symptoms you have (maybe) easier to cope with cause you're stoned. Saying it helps with Swine Flu proper is despicable and opportunist. Thus, fuck these guys.

Disclaimer: I may be 100% wrong, but from the studies and such I've read, this is my conclusion.

Some study from 1997 on reducing the effects of the cytokine storm and cytokine production:marijuana and cocaine impair Alveolar Macrophage function and Cytokine production

Think i'll stick with tamiflu

WARNING: 1970s public information films can be bad for your health.

Also much roflage at old woman going round "giving it" to everyone. Ah, innocent times.

Taken from here.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01392/2804-MATT_1392505a.gif

oh fuck it's here

the flu is several weeks or even years old

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hyjCtfZksKLPEHXnZeWH-c3dIUmwD97R4S703

so the veracruz operation is owned by smithfield farms. i remember rolling stone had an article a few years ago about them. maybe not all that shocking now, esp to people with an awareness of how the mega-farms operate, but i remember it talking about pink pools of toxic pigshit enough to fill yankee stadium five times annually and all sorts of other nasty and irresponsible stuff.

pig is a filthy animal

http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_12240660

pig is a filthy business

maybe this will kill the pork fad in restaurants

and give us some nice airfares?

two solid joeks in a row there gabbers, wb.

that'll do, gabbneb, that'll do.

and give us some nice airfares?

it's true, soon pig flu survivors everywhere will be visiting the first two coasts like it's no big deal

the flu is several weeks or even years old

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hyjCtfZksKLPEHXnZeWH-c3dIUmwD97R4S703

― loaded forbear (gabbneb), Tuesday, April 28, 2009 7:26 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

a-doi

i had it in 2006, u noobs.

WHO acknowledges 'butthurt' among new flu symptoms

WHO acknowledges 'suggest ban' among new flu symptoms

XD

flu putting an end to this bullshit - http://politicalwire.com/archives/2009/04/28/sebelius_nomination_up_for_vote.html

speculating about how 'old' swine flu is sorta useless unless there's a thread tying it to the current cases. the pandemic of 1918 was H1N1, and avian flu has been reported for basically ever, long before the most recent scare. ffs, ~all~ flus are 'avian' flus, in that birds are the natural reservoir of the virus

So kill all the birds is what you're saying.

this thing started around 4/20, right? < /omgwtfbbq conspiracy theory>

― MRSA Marchant (get bent), Tuesday, April 28, 2009 5:44 AM Bookmark

I vote pheasants and ducks first as they are the most delicious.

xp

MRSA Marchant <---- hilarious

The NYC media's overreaction to this "epidemic" is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen.

that low-flying aircraft? seeding swine flu obvs

NYC overreacts to everything--they think they're the center of the world

It's not?

Salina, KS is the center of the world--FYI

reporting on brox housefires gets a little boring after while

bronxx

Or the failures of ConEd. That's the NY Post's pet topic, or was until swine flu killed millions.

i gotta say, the ny post is a terrible, awful piece of shit, but i would love to be a headline writer there

ALL THE HOOS NEWS YOU CAN USE

on their site now: SCARE FORCE ONE

i gotta say, the ny post is a terrible, awful piece of shit, but i would love to be a headline writer there

the headlines there are art. after the thing about citibank's private plane thing with bailout money: PIGS FLY.

worth reading:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/apr/27/swine-flu-mexico-health

YOU KNOW HUSSEIN OBAMA WAS ACTUALLY ON THAT PLANE LIVING HIS DREAM OF BEING AN ANTI-AMERICAN MUSLIM HIJACKER FLYING A PLANE INTO THE WTC??!!?/1

also he was spraying chemtrails and eating french fries.

http://scoopsnoodle.com/vlog/post.jpg
http://scoopsnoodle.com/vlog/post.jpg
http://scoopsnoodle.com/vlog/post.jpg

never forget

Interesting article, get bent.

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks/Ike%202.JPG

guardian article generator: capitalism, powerful lobby, israel

(article has some good points but the bias is a little much)

Not that this is any reason to be less concerned, but even beyond medicine, back in 1918 folks barely knew to wash their hands to prevent the spread of illness.

(Vs. shit spreads faster these days, regardless)

(Vs. information travels even faster, etc.)

patient zero is really cute
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/04/28/article-1174270-04B452FA000005DC-119_468x325.jpg

aw hoos

Yes, he looks really worse for wear after suffering through this mass epidemic that has killed millions and will wipe out half of civilization.

xpost

bill magill please dont speak ill of the dead

patient zero was really cute, rip

(article has some good points but the bias is a little much)

It's a Mike Davis article, should you expect any less? It's basically a condensed version of his bird flu book.

Governor Schwarzenegger declares state of emergency, cautions against panic ...

they should really use a less apocalyptic term than state of emergency

True but it gets the attention. The state of emergency stuff is basically to allow them to move more quickly if things suddenly turn south. Not losing sleep over this right now.

fwiw isn't the CDC's 'state of emergency' stance tempered by them saying "what we really mean is 'state of emergency-preparedness' ie we're just getting things in place"

or what ned said, basically

yeah im sayin use a more accurate name for what yr up to like state of worry or preparedness or whatever - then when katrina happens u can be all guys this is an emergency

i think they had to declare "state of emergency" to loosen up funds

yeah, i thought there was a 'real' bureaucratic reason, not just whoops we're bad at naming things

yeah thats all im saying bad name

like change the name to something else

what could we call it

state of heads-up guys

gov't has declared that all heads remain on swivels

porcine panic

maybe just state of confusion or something, it's less conclusory, people won't know it's an emergency

land of confusion
invisible touch
susussidio

oh wait

the government is just confused

threat level orange

state of something in the air tonight o lord

state of hold on to yr butts

state of play starring russel crowe

mates of state

st8 or die

russell with two ls obv

st8r boi

http://images.contentreserve.com/ImageType-100/0355-1/%7BE0052F1C-7AB2-4D2D-828C-BE4B19738195%7DImg100.jpg

state of beer

state of queers

state of what was that, i swore i heard something, maybe an oink i dunno, keep yr ears open ok

state of what happened etc.

no that comes later

state of where did everybody go it's just me and this german shepard

that's for agencies that forgot all the earlier states

state n island

ball of confusion

state of panic

the 52nd state

i think they should still call it state of emergency but every time someone says it they have to sing it like the bjork song

state of get inside yr panic room

*beatboxes the drum track*

max :D

good conspiracy roundup
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2009/04/swine-flu-conspiracy.html

It's not an unreasonable question to ask: Could world governments, spooked by the prospect of radical climate change caused by over-population of the planet, have assembled a super-secret task force to engineer and distribute a super virulent strain of influenza designed to "correct" the human population (and institute global Martial Law)?

lol

can i get a super-secret task force invite?

I think there's something on the Georgia Guidestones about swine flu, but only on the section written in sanskrit

*rimshot*

Ooohhh, those conspiracy theories are chilling. I think i'll hit costco on the way home to prepare for the apocalypse.

Wait, Bill, I thought you were dying of swine flu? Should you be potentially infecting all those innocent Costco shoppers?

i thought bill was dead already--he must be zombie bill

we must stop him before he reaches Sabbath

Hoos posted after someone reported he was dead. Not only does it seem like a lot of ilxors have swine flu, but we have at least two swine flu zombies then.

RIP Bill, re-rest in peace.

I heard the swine flu is like toxo... makes you do irrational things in order to infect more people (like act like its no big deal).
Sorry your brain is dying, Bill.

little known medical fact, bros, patient zero (ie hoos the swinedriver) always lives on 4ever

Q: can we get swine flu from posting on the same message board as patient zero?

A: u can if pt zero had his webcam on at the time of posting and if yrs is on at the time of reading

I hope Peter Gabriel does a remake of 'Games without Frontiers' feat. K8 Bush called 'Porcs sans Frontieres' and the funds go to Medicins sans Frontiers so long as it is spend on the porcs...flu.

Also did anyone else think K8 was singing 'she's..so FUCK-ing gay"?

i thought bill was dead already

maybe you were thinking of I DIED

I don't have cable, so someone please tell me: is the world overrun by brain-eating zombies, or is it not that bad yet? Someone please tell me when we hit threat level Zed, so that I can stock up on ammo and peanut butter.

Overrun.

Also did anyone else think K8 was singing 'she's..so FUCK-ing gay"?

i thought this about the original version!

"Right now, it's too early for any of us to become a Swine Flu Shut-In, but you may want to have your hand sanitizer constantly with you for the next few weeks."

http://theinternetisterrible.com/wp-content/things/swine_flu.jpg

little known medical fact, bros, patient zero (ie hoos the swinedriver) always lives on 4ever

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, April 28, 2009 9:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^ true btw

Spent the day in Regensburg, Bavaria yesterday - now I hear flu's been discovered right there - oh well, RIP me

FRIGHTENED Big Brother babes Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton faced urgent medical tests last night amid fears they may have caught deadly swine flu.

The telly beauties were being checked out by private medics after a luxury holiday in Mexico where the killer virus broke out.

Premier League football stars Carlos Vela of Arsenal and Matthew Bates of Middlesbrough also found themselves under threat as the virus brought major health crackdowns and the scrapping of tourist trips to Mexico.

Midfielder Matthew, 22, is dating Chanelle – and if she is infected it is likely he too will have caught the virus.

If her test results come back positive Middlesbrough’s medical team will have to have the entire squad checked out.

ew

This is just a load of old bollocks, right?

I mean, this whole swine flu panic pandemic problem bollocks.

No one actually has it.

Reuters says US is reporting its first swine flu death.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

yup, abc news reporting it
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFlu/story?id=7456439&page=1

reading the bbc 'your experiences' from mexican residents is pretty hair raising.

I had pork tacos for lunch yesterday. Coincidence, really, but I kind of chuckled to myself. But the woman behind the counter thought I was coughing, so she took out her shotgun and blew my head off, just to be safe.

Seriously, though, with two small kids (and a wife currently traveling to New York), I'm a little bit nervous, but just a little. I mean, SARS didn't freak me out at all, but that was before I had kids.

Mr Brown says there are three further confirmed cases of swine flu in the UK - in Torbay, London and Birmingham - all had been to Mexico and all are responding to treatment. One is a 12-year-old girl he says. A school is being closed as a precaution.

(Rueful) lols at panicky Mexican official's suggestion illness may not have originated there.

Given it came from an american pig farm in mexico, it may not have. However I'm not sure this is important.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

― Sickamous Mouthall (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:46 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

You're not the only one.

Swine flu? A panic stoked in order to posture and spend.

lad in my office just got sent home for showing fluey symptoms, and the fact he just got back from mexico holiday last week.

ben goldacre describing that jenkins column as "the most stupid swine flu piece ever" in a graun-on-graun incident.

xpost, hah

Ben Goldacre has been kicking off about that Jenkins piece via Twitter. His point -- I paraphrase, but that's only because it's so far from rocket-science as to be a truism -- is simple: just because health scares might be overblown all the time, that doesn't mean this isn't a valid cause for concern. (Which, I know, is what sensible voices on this thread, eg gbx, Abbott and Stet, have already said many times, but it looks like it's a point that bears repeating, repeatedly.)

I like Goldacre and he is right to say that we should take health scares serious, even if previous ones have fizzled out. But surely Jenkins has a point as well? Chiefly is it really necessary for this story to be as endlessly reported as it has been? Isn't there a very real danger that if the media continue to hysterically cover health scares that subsequently come to nothing, then the public is going to take such health scares less and less seriously in the future?

This may or may not turn into a full blown pandemic, whether now or six months from now. But every hysterical, complacent headline and "rolling live blog" on the subject, only increases panic in the short term and scepticism in the long term.

we're famous (thrilling mom-and-kids-on-the-street interview)

Let's see if embedding works. Check out the interview with Rufus.

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<object thttp://www.wwlp.com/

go here and click "flu pandemic has parents on alert" to see Rufus, Cyrus, my sister Lucia and me.

http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/wwlp_local_swineflupandemichasparentsonalert_200904290619

third time a charm?

as a hypochondriac who was already stewing with anger every time he had to hear somebody cough on an airplane or in the checkout line, I welcome many of you to my world

awww young rufus

Go, Rufus! And indeed Maria. "Six-year-old speaks more sense than many other commentators": absolutely.

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland.

rip the world

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland

OK: a mutual friend of ours (this is true) sits next to a dude who's just back from Mexico. So if he and she start sniffling and coughing, that -- by definition -- is a suspected case ... and, you know, in open-plan, air-conditioned offices, the risk of infection covers a lot more than two folk.

I'd have thought 32 is staggeringly low, to be honest.

Actually, er, that by definition would be two suspected cases. Christ, Mr Logic.

Yay the Sewards on TV!

JERUSALEM (AP) — The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

So the problem is ...

should I lol?

Oh that wacky Ryanair guy:

The outspoken head of the Irish budget airline Ryanair has dismissed apocalyptic warnings of a global swine flu pandemic, saying that the virus was only a risk to Asians and Mexicans “living in slums”.

Michael O’Leary, who pioneered the 1p fares which transformed European aviation, told a press conference that he did not think the virus that is thought to have killed around 150 people in Mexico would wipe out his firm's business this summer despite UN warnings of a pandemic.

“Are we going to die from swine flu? No. Are we in danger of SARS? No. Foot and mouth disease? No. Will it affect people flying short-haul flights around Europe this summer? Thankfully, no," Mr O'Leary said.

He added: “It is a tragedy only for people living ... in slums in Asia or Mexico. But will the honeymoon couple from Edinburgh die? No. A couple of Strepsils will do the job."

Conditions on Ryanair flights are marginally worse than in Mexican slums in my experience.

and you don't have to pay a pound to piss in a Mexican slum

totally stoked to be flying to south Texas tomorrow

onimo otm btw, I could buy a case of Pringles in any slum for what Ryanair charges me for a packet

this just in, "Strepsils will do the job" - OMG

http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg

Strepsils completely sold out in our local chemist on this news.

the rock dwayne johnson in transit to mexico with convoy of strepsils as we speak- to pick up sean william scott, possibly sean penn, on the way.

yeah NEED to buy Strepsils stocks NOW!

as a hypochondriac who was already stewing with anger every time he had to hear somebody cough on an airplane or in the checkout line, I welcome many of you to my world

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 12:52 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my wife had a checkup at her doctor and she told her that the last few days they've had a run on their hypocondriacs, said it's been a blast

Goldacre on Jenkins and his ilk http://www.badscience.net/2009/04/parmageddon/

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2009/04/SWINE%20FLU%20GETS%20VIRAL.jpg

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my apocalypse-fearing dad just sent me a nice email:

I hope all is going well. We're looking forward to seeing you next week. I know the swine flu is nearing your area, especially since you are so close to the border of Mexico. I have some tamiflu which is supposed to fight that strain of flu. I have two doses one for you and one for John. I also have another drug that increases its potency. We will bring it down when we come for the wedding next week. In the mean time, be very careful. Do not shake hands and try to keep away from contact with others. If you can buy some yourself, please do and I will reimburse you for it. I also have some of the good masks I will bring you. Better to err on the side of caution I think a wise man once said.

This is AMZING bcz 1: he is greedy about stuff he hoards (see '10 virgins' parable for reasons) and 2: he didn't say it was caused BY area Mexicans. Good job, dad!

aw

he is greedy about stuff he hoards (see '10 virgins' parable for reasons)

"But dad, you said I could have two!"

I am feeling sick today with a killer sore throat, and while I'm 99% certain that it's not the swine flu the hypochondriac in me is making a major deal out of the 1%.

my wife puked a few times last night; am considering calling cnn and reporting it as a case of swine flu for the lols, media attention, reality tv show, etc.

yeah i had achey lymph nodes this morning--pretty lol

level 5 now

Looking forward to the bonus level where we can snag some 1-ups.

Holy shit there it is

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/6454/sspreviewegrobocod02.jpg

end of level boss

http://iloapp.deadtales.com/blog/news?ShowFileℑ=1238326352.jpg

erm, that's not the right link LOL

wtf is that, where you have to visit the magical cricket tennis ice land

http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg
http://media.wjbf.com/img-story/images/uploads/Swine-Flu-Health-Alert.jpg

robocod, best amiga platformer ever.

Think that was a screenshot from the DS version, but yeah, Amiga forever.

this just in: Mubarak regime uses OMG SWINE FLU as flimsy pretext to bully Egypt's christian minority

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090429/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_egypt_swine_flu

I am feeling sick today with a killer sore throat, and while I'm 99% certain that it's not the swine flu the hypochondriac in me is making a major deal out of the 1%.

A Mexican guy just emptied the trash next to my desk, and as soon as he left, I sneezed.

hold the phone, i can get robocod on my DS ?

I am tempted to wear a surgical mask on the tram, so no one will sit anywhere near me and I'll have a seat all to myself in the morning haha =)

I don't know why but wearing a facemask always makes me feel like I am a member of DEADSY:

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_npwobj7uOwo/RriRdkuS3EI/AAAAAAAAACU/9nnKbacgau8/cikk11.jpg

i got some hand sanitizer today. i think i'm safe.

JERUSALEM (AP) — The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

So the problem is ...

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:36 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

Can I just point out that this minister is the ONLY Jewish or Muslim person on earth that appears to have this concern?

"Yes, people will die from this. It is not a question of whether people will die, but more a question of how many. Will it be hundreds, thousands or tens of thousands?," Robert Madelin, Director-General for Health and Consumer Policy at the European Commission told Reuters."

"He also said a vaccine could be ready in Europe in 100 days."

http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUKTRE53S9E020090429

grotesque idea for an ile poll?!

am significantly more worried about this now than 24 hrs ago

"I am tempted to wear a surgical mask on the tram, so no one will sit anywhere near me and I'll have a seat all to myself in the morning haha =)
"

according to cnn, it's contagious with or without the mask.

my mouth the masks do nothing

Yes, people will die from this. It is not a question of whether people will die, but more a question of how many. Will it be hundreds, thousands or tens of thousands?

250-500,000 people die of the normal flu every year as it is. No one panics about that.

depends how old and healthy they are

i have no mask and i must cough

Normal flu doesn't kill healthy young people, and only has a mortality rate of 0.1%, is why.

This is one of the frustrating things about this: it's lookin ever more likely it's going to become a full-on pandemic (this is only day four and it's leapt up the WHO scale). But because this is so quick we don't really know anything about it, how lethal it really it is, its transmissability, nowt. So is the world just going to get a bad flu, or will it be worse? It's apparently likely that at least someone you know will get it, but will it be this month, or will it take until winter flu season to hit?

I expect instant facts, science, ffs.

"flu is normally most deadly to the very young (under age 2) and the very old (over age 70)."

with the swine flu, everyone is at risk.

xpost

Certainly I've been a little uneasy these past couple of days -- still, the vast majority of cases have been illnesses rather than fatalities. As stet notes, it's not so much the information we have than the information we *don't* have which is crucial.

I gather too that the initial judgment that this was a combination of three flu strands has been changed to saying it's swine flu straight up. We'll see. We've already received warnings from campus officials just in case -- not unwarrantedly so since we are talking about a *lot* of people congregating each day, and because a couple of recent cases out here are located at campuses. Right now, I'm just making sure to wash my hands more often than not -- I do do public service work, after all, and so must keep that in mind.

I am tempted to wear a surgical mask on the tram, so no one will sit anywhere near me and I'll have a seat all to myself

I'm tempted to adopt this strategy on an evening peak Epping train...

sorry if this has already been said but

JERUSALEM (AP) — The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

So the problem is ...
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:36 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

Can I just point out that this minister is the ONLY Jewish or Muslim person on earth that appears to have this concern?

― eggy mule (Hurting 2), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 8:38 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

what about the sensitivities of "Mexicans". they don't rate as high as pork lol?

kewl there is a case on my campus :-/

Even if this turns out to be just a "bad" flu, the loss in work hours and productivity will push an already stressed economy further into the shit can. Just think how our medical services and transportation systems will function with thirty to forty percent of the workforce out sick. It's not a pretty picture.

has anyone considered getting swine flu now so that you wont get the horribly mutated version later?

sounds prudent

i've been making out with every pig i see

Make yr own frat/sorority mixer jokes here

I could almost do my job from home if I was sick, hmm I wonder if they'd let us work from home if there was a severe outbreak.

Combination of swine flu panic + crowded law library final exam panic is just awesome and only going to get awesomer.

dude, try medical school finals and you've got a real zesty recipe

we're getting warnings and shit, but nothing serious as yet. i'm guessing the academic health center will err on the side of caution if and when the time comes, so for the moment i'm not really concerned

has anyone considered getting swine flu now so that you wont get the horribly mutated version later?

― Mulvaney, Wednesday, April 29, 2009 9:19 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also you realize that the whole reason you can get the flu more than once in your life is because of mutations, right?

gbx I've had the flu like 7 times in my life that means I'm super-immune rite

so apparently this guy gave a talk earlier in the year (which i missed) where he was like 'btw everyone i am virtually 100% certain that there will be an influenza pandemic in my lifetime and that when it happens it will bring this country to its knees'

to wit: we will run out of pretty much everything within days. :o

Article on the talk

http://forum.eastwestcenter.org/mediaconference/2008/01/23/media-asleep-at-the-wheel-on-huge-international-story/#more-36

Under a pandemic, with people sick and not at work around the world, container shipping will shut down, power plants will close for want of fuel, hospitals will run out of medical supplies and even staff, he said. The human cost of all that will be enormous.

“People just don’t understand the implications of a just-in-time economy,” he said.

One example: Japan is the biggest importer of coal and natural gas (for energy) in the world. If a pandemic causes an interruption in shipping, which is likely will, “the lights are going out in Japan within a matter of days of a pandemic, and that will have a ripple effect around the world.”

yeah, that's the stuff. i didn't get a chance to hear him, but there were v v skeptical med students that went in thinking 'oh this will be interesting' and left like making plans to buy canned goods and firearms

They don't have generators and fuel reserves in Japan? Houston shut down for a few weeks last year, and the world kept turning.

This article is acting like the bodies are going to piled so high in mounds that the people that recover won't be able to scale them on their way to work at the shipping yard.

do u know how generators work

just in time logistical planning = no reserves

I've no idea exactly how many days fuel Japan would have in reserve but I'd imagine if shipping was hit any big importer, particularly an energy hungry one, would be worried.

not sure if this is just wishful thinking but some scientists suggesting this is not going to be anything like 1918
http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-sci-swine-reality30-2009apr30,0,3606923.story

I pass by this building next to my house every single day - lol

http://www.flupowerflu.com/bigbig-%20Flu_CAGOL.jpg

James Pond will save us all

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G617B0CDL._SS500_.jpg

okay, ace.

remember: Cake, Hammer, Earth, Apple, Tap

Someone explain to me this on the BBC now...

Mexico: 168 suspected deaths - eight confirmed

...when all week they've been talking about 20 confirmed?

In fact in another BBC article it says 7 confirmed.

they could be counting the kid in Texas, because he was mexican?

another beeb article still states that nobody outside of mexico has died, and still says 7 deaths.

oh, and they wanted to perform more tests for confirmation on the dead, that's why it went down from 20 to 7

So they shoudn't have reported it as 'confirmed' then? Maybe?

i guess, but i have no idea why they back tracked on this.

It just adds to the general feeling that nobody really knows anything. Which leads to articles like the Simon Jenkins one (and the Christopher Booker article in the Mail - of all places - to-day) but also leads to "THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING" type stuff elsewhere. It's all pretty depressing.

UK buys 60m face masks as new cases of swine flu emerge

The health secretary said: "To keep the public informed, a mass public health campaign will begin today, with print, TV and radio adverts. The adverts will warn the public about swine flu and remind people to cover their noses and mouths with tissues [when they sneeze or cough] and then throw the tissue away."

The slogan will be "Catch It, Bin It, Kill It", referring to the advice to use throwaway paper tissues when ill, and to wash hands regularly. An information leaflet will be posted through people's doors next Tuesday.

Good update of the old "Pick It, Lick It, Roll It, Flick It" there.

ah, so now i can go into my shop and happily buy kleenex tissues without feeling like i'm a teenager buying a packet of condoms

This kind of stupidity was inevitable:

"One Islamic militant Web site carried comments Wednesday saying swine flu was God's revenge against 'infidels.'"

I guess Islamic terrorists are immune from swine flu. Everybody sign up.

St Felicitas School in Euclid, Ohio called off classes for Thursday and Friday after a student's mother reported that she has flu-like symptoms. She has not been confirmed to have the swine flu virus, and has not been to the school since developing the symptoms.

Nevertheless, the school says that they are acting out of caution and will sanitize the building. The parochial school's enrollment is just over 400.

So there there has only been one confirmed case of swine flu in Ohio. A 9-year-old Elyria boy is recovering at his Elyria home, and his school also called off classes for the entire week.

ok now that's a little ridiculous

Nah, that's Ohio. We just like to be included in stuff, you know?

lad who was sent home yesterday. turns out he was achey because he'd been playing football the night before.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/04/30/health/0430-nat-1918pandemic.jpg

people need to to stfu about 1918

and 1966, tbf

"Swine flu's coming home again."

WEST HAM DO YOU SEE

YOU'LL NEVER SNEEZE ALONE

HOGGY MOORE, HOGGY CHARLTON, GORDON SHANKS, HOGGY STILES AND ALL THAT

Jon Carrol's take

ah, so now i can go into my shop and happily buy kleenex tissues without feeling like i'm a teenager buying a packet of condoms

This is a thing? :O

In the wake of the mixed messages of "OMG Pandemic" and "Don't Panic, Wash Hands", I'm sure some people feel a little weird in Walgreens asking for Kleenex.

WTF with that article. Should people "panic"? No. Should there be serious concern that doesn't trivialize the threat? Yes.

The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

^^ what's weird about this is that there has surely been more of the opposite wacky reaction -- i.e., "see, pigs are filthy, this is why we don't mess with them"

btw I have swine flu and you can totally catch it from posting next to me