Strictly Come Dancing--am I on my own here?

overwhelming C so far by the sounds of it

I don't like sharing it as my reactions to some of the dances don't bear a social airing. Also, *interruptions*.

It was quite funny though. I'm only sorry we never got to see Spoony's I'm-very-fierce face.

Jan Ravens is kind of rubbish too, isn't she?

For that reason, I think she's remarkable. If I was that bad, there's no way I could go out and dance in front of people.

Peter Schmeichel has always had an amazingly red nose though, I think.

Lara, do you not like Claire King? I thought at least she had the good grace to seem genuinely embarrassed when Brendan started having a hissy fit at the judges. Although I was really amused by him basically saying "the foxtrot is my fucking dance, and you're going to fucking do it right" and then hauling her around the dance floor as if she was a giant doll. I hate him. I've hated him ever since he walked out on his partner after some disastrous round two years ago, and she was crying and he just left her there. He's mean.

The funny thing is, when Claudia had Craig and Brendan on the show this evening, Brendan admitted that actually he thought the marks were fine, and that the standings at the end of each show were usually pretty accurate, so I couldn't help wondering what he was so pissed off about.

I was also amused that when Claudia asked Craig whether he thought Arlene had marked Brendan too harshly, he said something about thinking it was a bit harsh and that maybe it was personal(!) which I suspect is going to come back and bite him in the ass.

I wish they'd stop all this fussin' and a feudin'. If I wanted to listen to that kind of shite I'd watch Pop Idol. I want floaty dresses, brass sections, and lovely Saturday night telly, not bitchy carry on.

No-one will ever be as bad as Diarmuid Gavin or Quentin Wilson, though Jan is running them close.

Arlene's wuv for Mark Ramprakash is amusing.

Every week i am fascinated by Tess Daly's breasts and what the costume designer is going to try and do with them.

I'm afraid that when Jimmy "Oho" Tarbuck dropped out of this series, so did I.

I enjoyed Brendan's hissy fit, it was very Hi-De-Hi.

I find him patronising in the extreme, normally, but I did laugh at his pretend phone call to vote for "the little fat fella and his granddaughter. I think they're smashing".

As usual, PJ, you have it right.

The lack of discipline is surprising. It is almost Mourinhoesque.
I wonder if the viewing figures will go up or down. I suspect down.

Disappointing cover versions this week.

I thought the producers of the little rehearsal segments did a fantastic job pulling out all the emotional stops though. Victoria Beckham, Jan Raven's wee kiddies. Punchy stuff.

Having been firmly behind Emma since the start, that phone vote has surprised me, and now I'm less sure she's going to win. I'm very much warming to Matt, even though I don't like him much.

Who's with me this year then? Pleasantly surprised by Dominic Littlewood, and lolled massively at Karen Hardy trying not to cry when she realised Richard Hillman isn't really a very good dancer.

The women's competition is going to be terrific, judging by the demonstration dances tonight.

I am SO in. Kelly Brook is my early pick for the win, but my mam and dad have both met Laetitia Dean and say she is lovely and a dote, so I want her to do well too. I liked Deano Wicks as well, he could be really good.

I was honestly disappointed to see Karen Hardy again. She was such a pushy psycho last year that I thought they would quietly drop her this year; no such luck.

You'll be glad to see her out first then, eh? My early shout before I saw them all was going to be Kelly Brook, but Alesha Dixon and Penny Lancaster look like they could do pretty well. Stephanie Beacham first off, I reckon. I'm calling Deano for the men's one as well, mostly because I don't want John Barnes to win because I carry long grudges. Hopefully my fellow Celtic supporter Rod Stewart feels the same way and twats him one on live telly.

Ha ha, fuck off psycho Karen. And she was practically in tears, too.

I like that the judges get to decide which one out of the bottom two has to leave. No more Spoonygate.

Yes, that's much better - I was certain Kenny would go because Richard Hillman is more famous than a bloke what used to play rugby for Scotland and shags Gabby Logan, but as soon as Len picked him as the best out of the group dance, I knew he was safe.

Didn't Gabby Logan used to be a professional gymnast in her younger days? Dark horse material then - also her and Penny are WAY too thin for people who have just had kids (I R jealous old fatface and I don't even have the kids excuse)

OK, that was aces yesterday, Kate Garraway aside, and she *was* pretty badly hurt. Couple of 9s so early in the competition, could be really tough this year. Can't see past Penny, Kelly and Aleesha even at this early stage.

Kenny out next for the blokes, he's a lumberer to match Peter Schmeichel and appears to have two left feet and no sense of rhythm.

OK, the judges stepping in to avoid another Spoony didn't work, since idiot public voted for Kate in their droves despite her being (1) rubbish and (2) probably unable to carry on due to injury, so surely get shot of her and let both Stephanie and Letitia carry on would have been the best thing.

Hopefully my fellow Celtic supporter Rod Stewart feels the same way and twats him one on live telly

I hope that wasn't why Rod was sporting a shiner :-O

I assume they just film the Sunday night show straight after the Saturday night one? Everybody must be bloody exhausted by the time it's all over.

Not only do I think Kate should have gone out instead of Stephanie, I'm seeing the flaw in the boys vs. girls first week. All of the women were better than the two worst men, so really none of the women should have had to leave. But I guess they have to work it out somehow.

They do, yes (re. filming) which is totally obvious when you see Bruce and Tess in new outfits but Billy Zane wearing exactly the same as he was "yesterday". (Also obvious last week because Kenny was doing coverage of the rugby on the Sunday night on ITV straight afterwards). Presume they got Rod straight off a plane from Hampden and into the aftershow (complete with black eye) to record his "I was so proud of Penny" bits. She was giving it all the "he was on the phone crying" bit on the Saturday show then on the Sunday show, there he was. Unless they filmed him somewhere else because it would be strange to think he wouldn't be there since the Scotland game was "the day before". Arrgh, it is so pointless, also spoilers all over teh internets from audience members (which I just discovered last night after the show - avoid Digital Spy more so than usual)

Yeah, the Sunday thing is just stupid. I presume it has to be done this way, though, because of new phone voting regulations. Assuming this show was always on the level, it must be extremely frustrating for everyone involved to have to do all this extra work.

Ailsa and Trish both totally OTM about everything. Especially the Sunday thing, which is just nuts, and full of horrible filler like the professionals dancing and Westlife and other bollocks.

The blokes competition is dire this year. Not only are they all crap, but I don't care about any of them. I really really hope the wretched Dominic Littlewood's cheeky chappy act will disappear early on, but sadly he does show some aptitude. Kenny Logan will go fairly soon, maybe next week. Gethin gets the vote from the womenfolk in my house, and they also kept the phone away from me to stop me voting for the lovely Kelly, favouring instead Gabby. I was disappointed that the shrewish Kate didn't go out - she's obviously no good, ankle injury or not. And she's married to the tool Derek Draper! I was hoping that Letitia would stay in, but I fear that she will go after Kate and before Gabby.

womenfolk in Dr.C's house OTM re Gethin.

He doesn't quite do it for me. I'm a Matt Di Angelo woman, myself.

he's young enough to be your son (possibly), also is the worst actor in EastEnders apart from Phil Daniels.

womenfolk in Dr.C's house OTM re Gethin

And menfolk (well, me) OTM re: Kelly.

I like her, but to be honest I can see everyone's slavering over her getting real old real fast. It's one thing to say that someone looks lovely or is beautiful, it's another thing to excuse her dance partner openly drooling over her arse during rehearsals.

That could just be the sour grapes of a non-attractive and bitter older person, though.

No, I can see it getting really tedious too (if you are old and non-attractive and bitter, then I'm right there with you, and I don't think that either of us are anything other than FULL OF COMMON SENSE). Putting her with Brendan was designed just for the pervy antics and to ramp up the "drama" - this is getting too much like the X Factor :-/

Yeah, you're both OTM (this is turning into the thread that agrees with itself!), but I think the ultra-creepy Brendan is the problem, rather than Kel. He should be more gentlemanly, like Len Goodman.

You're not non-attractive and bitter anyway - neither of you!!

Right, so this judges decide via danceoff to avoid another Spoony incident has kind of backfired since Kate appears to be inexplicably popular with the public and the judges can't get rid of her. I felt sorry for Willie Thorne, but he's had calm ballroom dances thus far and think his attempt at any faster dances would see him off right away.

The judges' lame attempts to be scathing to everyone are getting ridiculous now. They slagged Kenny Logan off for having big hands, ffs, I'm not sure how that's constructive or how he can rectify it for next week. Also madly inconsistent - marking Deano down for missing a step, but telling Kelly that it didn't matter she'd got a step wrong and giving her all nines (except Len).

Calling Alesha for the win now, btw. Fuck a crying Penny Lancaster and an over-competitive Gabby. Alesha is ENJOYING it and is actually really really good.

straight up and down, this is the weirdest shit ever.

So, anyone in this year?

Me. I hate Gary Rhodes and am hoping he's off this week. I also hate Austin Healey but will grudgingly admit it's looking like a two-horse race between him and Tom from the blokes (haven't seen Tom doing ballroom yet, but I can't see him being bad at it). John Sergeant is lovely but will fail horribly when asked to do a jive/cha-cha/salsa. The rest of them are varying shades of meh.

Of the girls, Jessie looks like she's having loads of fun, Rachel and maybe Christine look like potential winners. Had high hopes for Lisa, but I don't think she'll win many popularity contests.

Rhodes is behaving like an unbelievably spoiled petulant brat. It's like he's channelling the young John McEnroe or something.
John Sergeant is a true gentleman, but anything more physical than standing there while his partner dances around him is going to see him come unstuck. It's like watching the father of the bride dancing with his daughter at a wedding reception. Also the same to some extent with Don Warrington. Which is a shame, because both of their partners seem to be among the best out of the professional dancers.
It's probably going to be either Austin or Tom, despite both of them having the "smug Jane Austin suitor" look down pat.
I can't decide out of the female contestants - but the idea of Jodie Kidd winning does appeal. Someone winning who falls into the "really tall therefore ungainly dancer" category.

I think Christine's going to be your best bet for a tall dancer doing well, much as I love Jodie.

I find John Sergeant's partner terrifying yet intriguing at the same time.

PS I love this show.

I want to pop Austin's arms with a pin. He looks like that Ram Man from He-Man without his helmet on.

Please let this be where Gary goes. Please.

Goodbye Gary and your smug grinning face

Thank goodness for that.

yay! yay! yay!

Still feel we could lose a few more of the guys (hi dere Andrew) before any of the girls disappear. The girls' group dance was great this week.

I think my favourite couples so far are Don/Lilia and Heather/Brian - most actual chemistry between the pairings on either side. Saturday was a real reminder that Don is an ac-TORRR and Tom is in Holby City. Unfortunately, Heather's feet in the group dance were crazymad flat, and I think that upping the pace might see Don's composure go a bit - but I'm hoping this week gives the dude some momentum, makes the men's side less of a two-horse race (though I'd not be one bit surprised to see John making the final - if it's half-judges, half-public, I'd think the public can carry him past a fair amount of the competition).

Christine will win, though. Cherie's Latin won't hold up, I don't think, and Rachel Stevens is a gigantic charisma vacuum; Christine is just radiant like all the goddamn time, and her balance and weighting last week just seemed perfect, somehow.

I should add I am blogging all this at Rocktimists, btw.

My favourite so far is Cherie Lunghi. Oh and Jodie Kidd. Neither will last too long though :(

Dislike : Andrew Castle, Tom Eastenders, the truly horrifyingly twattish A. Healey in the men, and and Lisa Snowdon.

John S's partner is surely a trans-sexual.

Rachel should be making more records, not wasting her time in this.

Also Bruce doesn't do his dance at the beginning any more IS THIS THE END?

I think it's more for reasons of time rather than Brucie getting old. As the number of contestants whittles down, he'll do more of that and the "I AM NOT OLD DO YOU SEE?" thing.

Tom is not EastEnders, he is Holby City, and he is lovely. I like all of the girls, and hate Austin Healy, though I will grudgingly admit he's not a bad dancer. I like Lisa for reasons of hating Brendan and therefore having sympathy for her being partnered with such a twat.

Oh yeah Holby, not EE obv.

Note that the only rugby player who they could who has a good word to say about Healey is the ever-reasonable Will Greenwood. Although obv no-one (esp Brucie) had a clue who he was.

Tom Chambers grew up in our village, still comes back a lot, and his dad has been indefatigable in drumming up local support. This BBC News clip was shot in our village pub on Saturday night; I'm briefly visible in the final frame, top right hand corner.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7655058.stm

I kinda want Cherie to go.

I think I want Lisa Snowdon to win.

lol Mark Foster. I love John Sergeant.

The professionals are dancing to "I predict a riot"

That was comedy.

Don was robbed, I am sad that he has gone and terrible Mark Foster is still there.

That was horrible. Wrong two couples in the dance-off, wrong one went. It won't be the same without Don & Lilia - they had chemistry, dammit, more than maybe any couple in the competition.

I am somewhat worried by any audience that can prefer Andrew Castle to them two, really.

People who watch GMTV should have their phones taken off them.

Comedy = paso to the Kaiser Chiefs. Agree that wrong two couples were in the dance-off, cannot see any redeeming features at all in the Mark/Hayley partnership and Andrew's just rubbish.

The house band really excelled themselves this week. I think I lasted through maybe three seconds of their take on "Spice Up Your Life".

Yeah, they were rubbish, also someone appeared to be strangling the singers all the way through. Also mega lols at Camilla's bizarre silk pyjamas thing.

Current standings

Like: Tom, Jodie, Christine
Dislike: Andrew, Mark
Want to adopt as my favourite uncle: John

Haha the Kaiser Chief's Paso (was it a Paso?) was funny!

I was hoping for the hideous Foster to get the chop this week, or the strangely humourless and characterless Heather Small, but I can't argue with the result as Heather's dance-off performance was pretty decent. Also I am reliably informed that Don Warrington is an absolute twat IRL, so no complaints really.

I like Jodie and Cherie, also Christine, although she wasn't great this week. Dislike - same as Ailsa. Oh, and Austin, obviously. The womenfolk in my house are right behind Tom, mainly due to this week's haircut as far as I can tell. He was pretty bloody good though - a really well acted American smooth. I think he may win.

I don't like Austin due to longstanding dislike of him outwith this show, but he is very good. Bored with Rachel and Lisa now, can't be doing with Cherie, even though she's doing a great job of dancing well with all the judges wedged so far up her arse.

Womenfolk OTM re Tom. They were OTM re Gethin last year as well.

I'm deeply saddened about Don Warrington being a twat. He seems lovely.

Well, Andrew Castle's entire television career has involved him being an absolute twat, so I'm still gutted. Castle doesn't even seem to want to be there, really, and his partner just seems massively irritated with him all the time (it was hard to tell, but I think the lift-bodging might partly have been her fault).

I think I'm kinda rooting for Cherie now, tbh. She does seem slightly too calculating, but she's also bloody good, and her pwning Rachel, Austin and Lisa... I would find this quite heartening. Ideally I'd like Christine to win, but I think she needs to stand out a bit more than she's done thus far - she's been good, but so have a lot of other people.

Cherie's couple of years at ballet school may have been useful for the dances she's done to date.. She's yet to do something energetic and latin-y yet, I think.

That "I Predict A Riot" - even Peter Kay couldn't have bettered that.

Two black contestants in the dance-off, News at Ten...

That new Alecia Dixon single is great!

Rachel looking as bored doing this as she was "promoting" her last album.

Otherwise, merit-wise I'm pretty much in agreement with Dr C.

Fearing for Christine this week, though I reckon Foster's surely gone...

Think Christine, like Andrew and John, will continue to be saved by the public as they are popular. Poor Mark is basically hampered by not being able to dance at all, but I don't think much of his partner. Nothing outstanding tonight, sadly, and Christine, who I really like, was very poor. Lisa probably best of an average bunch.

Dance-off will be Foster and Castle. Foster to go obv. John and Christine will be saved by Joe Public -the John thing is getting a little tired though.

SHOVELL! (Was it always spelt with two Ls?)

Just realised Heather is in a roughly comparable place to where Don was last week, so she's definitely not safe.

Rachel's bruvvers > Rachel's fyonsay.

Len sounds remarkably similar to Cotton Hill when he's angry.

First Madcon, now this. Poor Frankie Valli.

Oh, good spot, Doc!

Think we can now safely call next week's dance-off as being the survivor of this one vs. Heather, then.

And I think we can basically guarantee that Mark's going out now... can't we?

Yes we can.

Yes, good. He might have been better with a better partner, but he was still the worst there. Also, y'know, put them away. Ugh.

Even when stripping off and posing, and being lifted up by his fans, he is curiously emotionless.

Only saw this on a pub TV with little/no sound yesterday. But....I predict Heather and Castle to be in bottom 2, with Castle to go. Could be a close run thing.

Castle must go!

Oh dear, Sergeant is going all the way to the last 3.

Jodie & Ian were lovely. Austin just ever so slightly overmarked by Len. Think Castle and Heather will go before John, and Austin will win.

Heather-Castle seems a lock for bottom two, but up to this point Cherie's not had to rely on public support to get her through, so she's hardly out of the woods. I dunno if Castle will go - he really pulled himself together for the dance-off last week, and a similar improvement this time might be enough.

Have very much had enough of John now.

Austin Healey is actually going to win this, isn't he? Sergeant's the only one who's got enough momentum with the public to stop him, and he surely won't make the final... surely?

I think Castle will go. You can see the amount of effort Heather has put in, particularly physical training, it's like looking at a before/after advert for a gym.
Sergeant, yah, bored now, but he's too nice for me to want him to go. Kind of wish that Don was still in it instead though.

Castle has gone, which was scarcely a surprise.

This week I noticed several reiterations on the judges' part of the same basic complaint (but mainly aimed at Cherie Lunghi and Rachel Stevens' performances) about playing it safe, competent but no more, no "wildness," no "sensuality" etc.

I'm wondering if everyone's been told by The Management to tone that side of things down following recent upsets elsewhere in the BBC.

Then again, before Saturday's edition there was an extraordinary thing called Hole In The Wall with Dale Winton whose format I can only describe as "fetish friendly."

It's baffling.

Taking the piss out of "Hole In The Wall" now seems to comprise half of Harry Hill's show. Wish they'd make the wall out of something more solid than polystyrene though. And on that point, possibly not the most environmentally friendly show on TV?

Dale now not even bothering to smile with his mouth, let alone his eyes.

Rachel! I am not, in general, one of her biggest fans, but that was quite the shock...

As with this week's X Factor, this indicates that the ship is about to sink.

It would seem that the British public is far more interested in voting for "characters" rather than people with actual dancing talent.

But without the money generated by the 'phone-in votes the BBC would make no money from the show and it would have to be pulled.

America gets its first black President. We get John Sergeant who can't dance but gee he's cute.

The United Nations food parcels get ever closer.

tbh, I can't tell a talented ballroom dancer from an elephant.

I saw this the other week when we were down at m-i-l's place. I wasn't really keen on watching it TBH but I guess it was entertaining enough. It was funny, watching John Sargeant - to say that his partner, the siberian lady, was carrying him would be a mighty understatement. I was very taken with the siberian lady, she was very glamorous and I'd like to cop off with her very much. That's about all I've got, really.

John's going to win this.

I thought Rachel was fantastic this week, rumbas tend to do nothing for me, and Rachel tends to do nothing for me, yet somehow that was awesome. Still love Jodie, but fear she's going to be out next.

I was watching the darts instead this w/end. I started off with Strictly, but I think I have basically hit my threshold for watching the judges shout over each other.

When you said Dale Winton was 'presenting' at "Hole in the wall", I got completely the wrong idea...

Interesting lack of control with the judges compared with X Factor.

Cowell very subtle this week over the Daniel business whereas Goodman splutters and fumes about voters voting for the wrong reasons. Not the way to get the viewers on his side.

If Sergeant wins, though, I think we can say goodbye to any further series since if it's going to be about personalities rather than dancing skills and abilities there will be no real point to the programme and no judge will want to be associated with it.

Tom Jones looks and sounds ghastlier every time I see him on TV. As though he died 20 years ago and somebody's just bolted various bits and pieces of him together around the body of an out-of-date robot.

No sign of Sergeant and his partner at the statutory end-of-Sunday-night hug-a-thon. Fun to speculate as to why not...

Yeaeh, we noticed that!

And here's the reason, more or less...

Although the Sergeant issue in turn begs the following question:

What are audiences more likely to watch and be entertained by on peak time Saturday television - a technically immaculate but boring artisan, or John Sergeant falling on his arse/dragging his partner like a sack of Cambuslang coal every week?

The producers put him in so that they could benefit from a laugh at his expense but with truly sweet irony, the joke's on them.

alex, lymington,

Yup.

John Sergeant, arguably the least talented person ever to feature in a talent contest

This is unfair. Gary Rhodes was much worse.

Nothing about Austin Healey, arguably the least interesting person ever to feature in a talent contest.

I could understand there being a certain warped appeal in voting every week for someone terrible if it was something really off the wall (like if Bez came on every week and did the Birdie Song dressed as a giant chicken), but there's really nothing amusing about John Sergeant just dancing poorly. It's not comically bad, just a bit rubbish.

John Sergeant, arguably the least talented person ever to feature in a talent contest

Lol at celebrities and journalists acting all surprised that a contest in which the public vote is not based primarily on talent... People will vote for contestants that they identify with, and a lot more people identify with JS than muscle flexing Austin.

See, we dunno that they do, though. Healey's not been in dance-off yet, so it's entirely possible that the public find him enthralling. Maybe.

Mandelson admits Strictly 'envy'

Lord Mandelson says he has been watching Strictly Come Dancing with "a degree of envy" and told the BBC it would be nice to be asked to take part.

The business secretary said he was supporting ex-political correspondent John Sergeant on the show.

But he joked he was a better dancer and offered to demonstrate his skills next time he was invited onto the BBC.

Lord Mandelson later added: "It would be nice at least to be invited into the audience."

How good that Mandelson has the time even to think about this programme, let alone go on it, in the midst of the worst recession this century.

Every great statesman needs a cultural hinterland.

This from AA Gill in the Sunday Times yesterday, totally OTM:

There is a crisis at the very heart of democracy. Last week, just as the American media proved that, yes, they could manipulate the man they loved into the White House, so it was here in Britain, mother of parliaments. The crisis is that the electorate have got it all wrong in two polls — on The X Factor and Nonentities Come Dancing. All right-thinking people realised the masses had made a desperate error, akin to Germany in 1933, by voting off some dumpy-arsed, tearful cruise-ship warbler from The X Factor. Cheryl Cole said it was a travesty, and Simon Cowell that it was plain the public weren’t voting for talent. In the Upper House, on Strictly Come Dancing, a terpsichorially challenged audience failed to dismiss the political broadcaster John Sergeant for not dancing properly, or at all. One of the judges — the strangest collection of human effluvia this side of Grimms’ Fairy Tales — admonished us by saying we must remember this was a dancing competition.

Now, I think it’s time I called the old dancing judges, Cheryl and Simon into my office to remind them of a few home truths. Listen carefully, all of you. Strictly Come Dancing is not a dancing competition. The X Factor is not a talent contest. The Queen Vic is not a real pub, and Basil Brush isn’t actually a talking fox. They are all entertainments. Dragons’ Den isn’t real venture capitalism, and I’m a Celebrity. . . Get Me Out of Here! isn’t a real jungle or, indeed, real celebrity, and everybody there has been begging their agents to get them in it. You are all suffering from a common green-room delusion: you believe your own billing. You are not on television because you’re experts or gurus. You’re there because you’re either funny, hateful or shaggable, and if you’re in any doubt which, then it’s not the latter.

The public votes for what makes the best television. If that means dismissing a dull genius for amusing crapness, they’ll do it without thinking. Hands up anyone who remembers the name of the men’s ski-jump gold medallists the year Eddie the Eagle came last? Exactly. Who knows, who cares?

There have been some interesting studies done on the wisdom of crowds. It turns out they’re almost always intuitively right. You really can’t chase ratings, court popularity and then claim your audience has got it wrong. They understand that the airwaves and iTunes are chock-a-block with talent they will never get round to listening to, better than anything on The X Factor, and that there was once a real dance competition on television. Only late-night drunks watched it. What we want is a fat oik who’ll sing Nessun Dorma once a week, and that kid who fell on his back in the shower. The audience isn’t a talent agency. They want to switch on the telly and be amused for an hour, and John Sergeant dancing is Dr Johnson’s dog and, therefore, entertainment.

Blimey, AA Gill "Also" commands people into his office!

Monday morning, 9 am sharp, I don't doubt.

Could have sworn Vince Cable also sent some feelers to the BBC about being on the show as well.

Hey, the Australian version had a far-right politician come second once, maybe it's time for N.Griffin to get his soft shoe shuffle on.

The "At Least I'll Make The Trains Run On Time" routine.

Every great statesman needs a cultural hinterland.

Goethe was a writer, scientist, and philospher. Mandelson likes to watch himself a bit of telly!

I read that as Mandelson likes to watch himself a bit on telly!

Still true.

Would Goethe have done any better than Sergeant in the jive section, though?

He learnt about Faust through a puppet show so I'm sure he would have had something to say about this.

Fozzie Bear to win next year's series.

"Where is the man who has the strength to be true, and to show himself as he is?"

Mike Yarwood?

".. and this is me!"

Sergeant to pull out of Strictly

Former political journalist John Sergeant has decided to pull out of the BBC One show Strictly Come Dancing.

The 64-year-old has received strong support from the public since the show started, but the judges have been critical of his dancing.

In a statement, he said: "The trouble is that there is now a real danger that I might win the competition. Even for me that would be a joke too far."

BBC One controller Jay Hunt said: "We are very sad to see him go."

Alltogether now!

"YEAH, RIGHT!"

lol at office of 50 people grinding to a halt as half the sales force goes "What? He's gone? Oh my god WE MUST TALK ABOUT THIS AT LENGTH"

Bang go the ratings, bang goes the probability of any more series.

I trust that the BBC will be refunding charges to everyone who rang in and voted for him.

Another victory for the bullies and thugs and A Good Story.

I thought this might happen, and I was wondering how JS would time it/explain it. (You've got to tread carefully, when thousands have spent money keeping you in the show.) I'd love to know the full background to his decision.

I trust that the BBC will be refunding charges to everyone who rang in and voted for him.

Well, the votes were only ever to keep him in the show for one more week, not for the whole series - and since JS will be dancing a "farewell" performance on Saturday, you could argue that the contract hasn't been broken.

I'm sure that the BBC will.

Privatise it now.

Beeb would have wanted him to stay in, tho. Strictly beat I'm A Thingy in the ratings at the weekend, and that's not because of Christine Bleakley, now, is it? Plus, if you wanna be proper conspiracy theory about this, you'll notice that the judge that's been doing the talking in the papers is Arlene Phillips, co-creator of Britannia High. On ITV. Also, the last time Beeb tried making stars out of the judges, they wound up with DanceX.

Well I guess we won't be seeing AP on the panel after the current series then.

Britannia High is the worst TV programme ever.

I saw the 2007 DanceX winners supporting Rihanna, just under a year ago, on the last night of her world tour.

"Our workout video is coming out soon!", they pleaded, just before disappearing for good. It was almost poignant.

DanceX - proof positive that the British public does not want to watch a "dancing competition."

Update from Beeb News:

BBC One controller Jay Hunt told journalists the BBC had "have every intention of reimbursing people" who had voted for Sergeant during the series.

Money raised by calls to Strictly Come Dancing goes to Children In Need.

Come to think of it, where does all that Children in Need money go?

Paying for Sharon Shoesmith's Ascot tickets?

The current series of SCD is the first time I've watched any of them. It's the "dancing competition" aspect that interests me the most, so I like it when the judges get technical, even when I don't fully understand what they're saying.

(I'm crap at making technical judgements of my own, and so the judges' comments are often at sharp variance with my own opinions; I find this fascinating.)

From this perspective, I'm glad that the plug has been pulled on the Cult Of Sergeant. He deserves better than to be remembered as a comedy panto turn, and the show deserves better than being dragged down by it. Yes, I'm taking the high-minded Reithian angle here!

I'm taking the democracy/licence payers' money angle myself.

Since the BBC can't fiddle 'phone votes any more they arrange for inconvenient people to be bullied into quitting. Thus they get their way regardless.

The whole organisation is rotten to the core.

Well, it's all speculative either way. But if we accept the hypothesis that the programme-makers have bullied JS into quitting in order to further their own ends, then I'm confused. I thought JS was a ratings-grabber?

On the other hand, if we accept the hypothesis that the programme-makers have bullied JS into quitting in order to preserve the high-minded Reithian integrity of te show as a "dance competition", then I can at least see a logical consistency.

But I'm instinctively not a conspiracy theorist. Conspiracies often make for the most seductive narratives, but I have an innate suspicion of their neatness, and an innate scepticism that the alleged conspirators could be so efficient and effective.

My own speculation: peer pressure from JS's fellow contestants (including the dance professionals), which soured his enjoyment in taking part.

^^^ this
If the BBC have pressured JS into leaving, then they've just lost a good portion of their audience, who will watch X Factor in the run up to Christmas instead. But I don't think that's the case, they must see from the number of votes that he gets that a sizeable chunk of viewers are probably watching because he's in it.

So, yes, it's probably the prospect of having to mix with increasing bruised celebrity egos that's caused JS to leave.

I'm also thinking back to JS and Kristina's reactions on the "Sunday evening" (sic) results show, when their names were called out. They both looked astonished, disbelieving, uncomfortable, nervous, and far from happy. Especially Kristina. And then they both failed to show up for the hug-a-thon at the end. I'm sensing guilt and/or peer-pressure, not the wielding of corporate sticks from on high.

A conspiracy is a conspiracy, whether r not what is being conspired is actually worth doing.

Having said that, peer pressure, in a sense of "everyone else hates us" plus "I look stupid dancer now" probably forced his hand.

Then the not very professional pros should have been fired and replaced.

No one's going to watch "professional dancers" on their own.

They should have been taught in no uncertain terms to know their place on this show and to keep it.

But what else can we really expect from the gutless BBC?

More celebrities!

Actually, this is the best possible outcome for JS personally, isn't it? Just when it was all threatening to turn ugly, he Does The Decent, Gentlemanly Thing. As a result, Saturday's show will be one great big JS love-fest. The other contestants get to pay him lavish, emotional tributes, and (whether you were pro or anti his continued participation) he leaves the show as a National Treasure. Genius!

Marcello is turning into the Geir of BBC threads.

They should have been taught in no uncertain terms to know their place on this show and to keep it.

I thought that Cherie's partner's outburst on Sunday night was sincerely expressed and, from a contestant's perspective at the very least, entirely justified. One Saturday night TV talent contest whose participants are brow-beaten into knowing their place and never going off-message is quite enough, thank you!

I think James Jordan (Cherie's partner) is just paranoid and pissed off because last year he was dancing with Gabby Logan and she got voted off very early (in a dance-off with also-not-shit Penny Lancaster), before similarly untalented Kate Garraway and Kenny Logan. As I recall, Kenny asked if he could quit and let his wife stay on in his place, and wasn't allowed.

There's been a massive groundswell of "John Sergeant shouldn't still be in this", but if people feel that strongly that someone else should be in instead of him, they should pick up their phones and vote for them and not him. The level of vitriol thrown at Sergeant's abilities are quite incredible - he wasn't even the worst dancer in the series, and his ballroom is passable. Do none of these whingers remember the utterly cringeworthy performances that somehow got Chris Parker to the final?

Dissapointed not to see Thatcher crashing in during Sergeant's press conference.

Bryan Adams on the One Show wondering WTF is going on

Whom my mother has just incorrectly identified as Bryan Ferry...

I've gone right off James Jordan now.

I watched It Takes Two last night.

JS completely dignified and noble.

The rest of them from Goodman on down to Jordan, petty, sneering and evasive.

JS goes - now the "real" contest can start "in earnest."

JS stays - gets the sent to Coventry treatment, is bullied.

JS goes because he quite correctly believes that he came on the show to have a bit of fun rather than be howled down by jealous "purists" - gets bullied for not having the "guts" to stay.

So it's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

Public school bullying at its worst - and once again, the bullies, the mediocre losers like James Jordan who'd be lucky to pull three pensioners to the opening of a new British Heart Foundation charity shop in Garstang - have been seen to triumph.

Once again, if people didn't like JS being on the show then they should have been allowed to exercise their democratic, licence paying right to vote him off.

But that's the New BBC Order for you - get rid of anyone who's in the slightest bit different.

That's what happens when you run an organisation on the basis of fear.

So, let's see...

Increased ratings for next saturdays prog.

Then decreased ratings for the rest of the run.

Oh, and JS to 'return', albeit not as a competitor, but by popular acclaim, to do more dancin'

One thing did strike me last night: A heck of a lot of 'old folk' who do the tea dances and are actually less good than JS, voting for one of their own not in a spirit of irony, but in a spirit of 'he's enjoying it like we are, and is not young and 'attractive' but old and happy.

i.e. a spirit of occupying the same spirit as they do.

Are their votes less valid and less 'important'?

Guess so.

Clearly the BBC are now more interested in not upsetting the tabloids than they are in getting ratings. I understand that R2's Saturday audience has done a convincing impression of the Titanic since Richard "We're Calming Things Down Here" Allinson and Alex "Abandoned Phone Boxes" Lester took over from Ross and Brand.

Like I say, the BBC are rubbing this particular baloon for all it's worth.

JPaxman much involved, and fair enough, he's a mate.

"So, Bryan Adams, What do you make of all this" The One Show, etc....

You'd think that JPax would do the decent thing and step into Sergeant's shoes on Saturday...

(either that or get Tom Paulin or Paul Morley Out Of Newsnight Review...)

A heck of a lot of 'old folk' who do the tea dances and are actually less good than JS, voting for one of their own not in a spirit of irony, but in a spirit of 'he's enjoying it like we are, and is not young and 'attractive' but old and happy. i.e. a spirit of occupying the same spirit as they do.

I was at an 80th birthday party the weekend before Strictly started and the chatter was all about Sergeant, very much along the "he's one of us" lines.

Just to keep things shipshape:

Correction 20 November 2008: An earlier version of this story wrongly stated that the money raised from calls to Strictly Come Dancing goes to Children in Need.

Since January 2008, the BBC no longer gives money raised by phone votes to charity. The money raised by Strictly Come Dancing phone votes pays for running the phone vote system itself. No money goes to Children in Need. Rules were changed after last year's phone votes scandals.

"have every intention of reimbursing people" does not necessarily equal "going to refund every caller's charges."

Anyway, let's stop Children In Need now. Fuck all use to the children in need in Haringey, wasn't it?

The star also gave his opinion on John Sergeant's exit from Strictly Come Dancing.

"He's fallen on his sword for the good of the nation," he said.

"He knows why he's done that and hopefully it's positive."

The star in question then mentioned that he's going to film a movie version of his cancelled US series, and went on to say " yerrr, we're going to get actual gorillas to film it, yeahrrrr."

It's Ant 'n' Dec and the Blue Peter cat all over again:

A cabinet minister has called for the judges of Strictly Come Dancing to be sacked following John Sergeant's decision to quit the BBC One show.

Scottish Secretary Jim Murphy said the the ex-journalist's dance performances had been "entertainment and good fun"

...

"The fact is the judges don't know what this programme is all about."

I thought it was all about judging which celebrity was the best dancer?

I thought politics was about running the country, not watching fucking television programmes.

I want a blanket ban on politicians making any comments on popular culture.

I don't want politicians to be my friend. I want politicians to govern this fucking country properly, to be remote, elitist, in charge.

but they would give itall up to go on Strictly! Or be the guitarist in The Wedding Present! or,or, ...

Then they should be sacked. There's a fucking recession on and my taxes should be paying for them to sort it out, not piss about with a guitar.

Big tearjerkin' speeches. Nicely timed to play just after TV Burp finished on ITV.

I don't think Jim Murphy was being entirely serious. I think politicians have a right to get involved if there is a question of licence-fee-payers getting fucked over in some way by a public service broadcaster, but no-one's saying or talking about it like that, they are all "lol he is a bad dancer". So fucking what, he's popular. Was everyone whinging when utterly shite Chris Parker got to the final a few years ago? Let go already.

Anyway, the dancing. Rachel is really REALLY boring. Fear for Jodie and Christine this week, but would laugh very hard indeed if Austin ends up in the dance-off. It'll be one of those three v Lisa anyway, because it appears no-one likes her very much except me.

Poor Jodie.

And so now, La Bleakley becomes the one to worry about for the rest. I'm gonna stick my neck out and say Lisa vs. Tom next week.

Bleakley should have gone this week and would have gone if it hadn't been for that stupid staged judges' tiff. Next week, and probably up against Lisa again (or maybe Austin since people are realising just how boring he is).

OK, now Lisa's up the right end of the scoreboard, Christine must be going this week. The interesting thing will be to see whether it's Tom or Rachel joining her in the dance-off.

It was, probably rightly, Christine and Rachel in the dance off and, absolutely rightly, Christine has gone.

Estelle didn't seem to know where she was either.

^ proper OMGWTF telly, that.

Bye bye Austin then? I'm thinking an Austin v Rachel dance-off this week.

Providing Chambers isn't bottom of the leaderboard next week, I think he's won this.

It was Austin vs Lisanbrendan and the former lost.

Lisanbrendan to go next since they are essentially unlovable.

Tom just earned maximum "stupid cock" points from me for that ultra-"I fancy myself I do" jump and slide.

Chambers came bottom. Chambers has, officially, blown it.

Good. I hope Lisa wins, simply because Rachel's partner is a cock as well. It's a twisted set of circumstances where Brendan seems like a normal, likeable person.

Odd thing - just saw the ad for the SCD Live!!! Tour - Tom and Rachel are on it. Lisa isn't.

Doesn't matter, Tom's still out. Even if he comes top of the voting, he's still in the dance-off against someone who got 39 or someone who got 40. Hmmm.

I'm guessing Lisa's not doing the tour because she has a real job.

Even if he comes top of the voting

In that eventuality, I will be popping down to Hell to get some ice for my drink...

he's been top of the voting every week so far, I think. He must have been top last week at any rate.

So... I don't exactly understand what's happened just there?

Assuming what's happened: they realised a little too late this situation meant that Our Tom mathematically couldn't escape dance-off, so all votes for him were basically pointless, so... phone vote scandal! Again! YAY!

Yes, that's it. Presumably working it out for themselves was beyond the general public.

These showdance people are freaky.

They're WORLD CHAMPIONS at... I am not sure. But they're good enough that they don't have to perform with Dave Arch's Fantastic Orchestra And His Wonderful Singers.

Ah - SHOWDANCE! Freestyle!

World champion at being quite light and getting thrown around a lot!

Johnny Vegas is SAT RIGHT THERE and YOU ARE TALKING TO MATT DAWSON INSTEAD FFS

"18 stone of idiot... and Johnny Vegas sitting behind..."

JUNE WHITFIELD?

JUNE WHITFIELD??

JUNE WHITFIELD???

"All four couples could have achieved being champions"

Aw, I love June Whitfield.

(sorry, I just hate these interviews they have for the results shows)

But possibly not as much as I hate "And All That Jazz"...

"carried over to next week" WTF? oh right...

WHAT?

Hmmmm.

OK, Chambers has won, we can pretty much call that now, yes?

effing shambles

Tom's votes will be quite down though, I'm guessing a few of his fans didn't bother their arses this week because it was pointless.

They couldn't do anything else, could they? Digital Spy's going into meltdown over it, which leads me to think complaints people at the BBC are getting it in the neck and the BBC can't afford another phone vote scandal.

And now... they're filling the gap between SCD and Outnumbered with ten solid minutes of trailers?

Really?

Seriously, this is what they're doing.

Like, could you not cross to News24?

They were one week out because Seargent left.

So they had to have a week that no-one leaves, and now its back on schedule.

They didn't when Tarby left, and they didn't when Kelly Brook left.

Nah, they'd publicly stated there'd be two in the final when Sergeant went.

(xxpost) No, I think they were planning to cover that by having two couples in the final and a whole load of bumpf and filler.

What an embarrassing mess.

Still the BBC don't seem to have had much choice in the matter seeing as how Sergeant has effectively fucked the series up to forward his own career.

This may lead the BBC to reconsider using its employees or any knowingly "dud" celebs in future years.

Only 200 complaints - pah!

Not that Good A Story, really.

With all the boring people left in it now - sorry, Rachel, you still look as though you couldn't be bothered - I can't see anyone getting excited about who actually wins.

I don't think it's anything to do with Sergeant. Once he left, the BBC planned to have only two couples in the final. It's just that - live show and everything - someone didn't notice what had happened until after the phone voting started.

Agreed. They've not had a three-contestant semi-final before, and so they hadn't thought through all the potential outcomes. So as soon as Tess said "To SAVE TOM, vote..." or whatever it was, they were left with no choice.

What they could have done: open the phone lines for Rachel and Lisa only, or return to the judges for a casting vote between R&L before opening all three lines.

We watched all of this unfold in Tom's village pub (as featured on the show the week before), with his Dad in attendance - so we went from resigned acceptance (OK, Tom's out, no point voting) to complete and utter euphoric screeching UPROAR on the turn of a dime. Even 15 mins before the result was announced, Tom was texting his Dad to say: that's it, dance-off, probably won't get through. And now he's the obvious favourite to win! As embarrassing farces go, this was an uncommonly enjoyable one.

It was on the level of "the winner is...2 Up 2 Down (APPLAUSE, HOWLS drowning out the "NOT")."

They have had a three contestant semi-final before, last year and the year before.

I love how NO-ONE in my work, or indeed, no-one who writes for/checks facts in the Metro, understands what went on. I had it very carefully explained to me that it was because nothing could separate the girls because they were tied. I pointed out it was exceptionally unlikely that they would tie on the phone vote so one was bound to get more than the other, and therefore more than Tom, but was told that was wrong, and referred to the Metro which explained that voting was suspended becase it was very likely that all contestants would get four points. Um, no. How fucking hard is it to work out, really?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/strictlycomedancing/news/december/wk13_news_update_151208.shtml

Everyone with a shred of common sense who realised it was pointless voting for Tom is going to be well fucked off now that the BBC have decided to add Tom's vote to his score for next week.

I mean his vote for this week + his dance score for this week, then use that as the basis for the starting point for next week. Or something.

nothing could separate the girls because they were tied

*insert next Sunday's News of the World/Mail on Sunday front page headline of your choice*

anybody else watching this?

Never in doubt.

ar.

Felt sorry for Lisa - getting 80 out of 80 and still getting knocked out first :-(

Have watched Tom's showdance approx ten times already this morning, and still smiling every time I see it. Lisa's showdance gave me the creeps, and I spent the whole thing watching through my fingers in case Brendan dropped her and broke her neck or something - that rolling-her-up-his-body thing was horrible.

Amazing scenes in our village pub on Saturday night, especially when Strictly Our Tom gave us a shout-out during his acceptance speech. Grown men were weeping!

(And now that the cat's out of the bag, the stats on our village blog have gone mental...)

Aye, your village blog got a mention on Digital Spy as well, which can't have done it any harm. Or has done it lots of harm, if the hamsters in the wee wheel that operate it can't run fast enough to keep up with pervy interweb creeppoid mentalists.

Lisa and Brendan's showdance gets funnier every time I watch it. What was he thinking?

Right then.

It appears I am on my own here.

i will try and watch because of ALIONA. wowza.

wow @ Martina Hingis being in on this...

Joe Calzaghe is rubbish, and Richard Dunwoody will be even rubbisher. Ali Bastian for the win, based on one dance.

Not a big fan of Alesha Dixon's role as Strictly's Cheryl Cole so far.

Chris Hollins <3

lol at his mum and dad turning up

Also <3 Ricky Groves.

OMG GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC ARE MENTAL

SUPER MENTAL

Seriously, what is WRONG with people?

Drawing on the voting patterns of last year, the public would seem to prefer blokes with comedy balloon muscles.

Are you talking about Rav or Joe? Either way, fuck 'em. It usually takes me a few weeks to get pissed off with this thing, so fair play to the Beeb. I sort of assumed they'd keep Martina in to justify whatever they paid her to appear (Rav's a BBC employee anyway).

Talking about both of them! I was hoping for a Rav vs Joe dance off, but when they said Joe was safe, I really wasn't surprised.

Ali or Chris ftw out of this lot (though Ricky G seems very popular). Next week's lot, I imagine the other Ricky will get the balloon muscle vote, and I have no idea about the rest of them. Laila Whatsit, maybe, just because Anton has mad fans.

I had a sneaking suspicion this would happen. Putting a furren Wimbledon winner on the show was just rubbing thr GBP's nose in it.

But keeping in a big plank of wood over her in the dance-off was just insane. Thread obviously now needs Marcello to bang on about the half-Mauritian guy and the other foreigner being in the dance-off thanks to Racist Great British Public.

(they were really in the dance-off because the two worst dancers are insanely popular in real non-Strictly TV/sport terms)

This thread hasn't been posted to in a while, but I just want to revive it to say this: Great British Public, what the eff-ing blazes are you thinking? Ali and Zoe in the bottom two? You're all crazy for guys with comedy muscles and cheeky chappies, that's the only explanation.

I have mostly been communicating with people by non-ILX means due to no seeming interest in this part of the world, but, honestly, people, whoever you are, STOP FUCKING VOTING FOR CRAIG. HE IS SHITE.

Hopefully he will go to Blackpool, and then his mammy can nip along the road and take him away back home again and we can get on with the real stuff.

I do secretly find it quite funny that it's always James Jordan who ends up the victim when PUBLICVOTEGATE rears its ugly head.

Whoa Ailsa - I thought you didn't mind Craig?!? Nevertheless, last night was utter bollocks - how the feck did Ali and Brian get in the bottom two? I can *sort of* see why Zoe doesn't get votes - she is a decent dancer, but a bit characterless - but Craig, Laila, squeaky Hollins and Tuffers are all worse. Oh and Eastenders Ricky. Good to see Johnny Hollins though(cue chants of Johnny H's Blue Army, Johnny H's Blue Armeeee!). Anyway we're slowly coming to a household concensus that Ali n' Brian are the best. I do NOT like Ricky Whittle!

Having said all of that, Len's meltdowns everytime the public come up with a vote like last night's are pretty tiresome.

I like Craig a lot, but I don't want to see him dance any more to know that he really can't do it very well. Also, am fed up of Flavia's "wtf am I doing still here" not-even-very-convincing-any-more fake grin.

So yeah.....poor old Ali out and the gurning Hollins through to the final. A less than vintage year for Strictly. Better celebs needed next year, and please no Alesha or Darcey.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49021000/jpg/_49021946_bbc_daniels_widdecombe.jpg

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49021000/jpg/_49021946_bbc_daniels_widdecombe.jpg

Ugh. Do not want.

The large version I meant to paste in is even worse.

*Ann Widdecombe
*Felicity Kendal
*Gavin Henson - Welsh rugby player
*Goldie - what would a celeb talent show be without Goldie?
*Jimi Mistry - the obligatory "actor who used to be on Eastenders"
*Kara Tointon - the obligatory "actress who used to be on Eastenders"
*Matt Baker - ex Blue Peter presenter
*Michelle Williams - one of the two people in Destiny's Child who wasn't Beyonce. This year's "foreigner who gets voted out in the first week by an intolerant Great British Public".
*Pamela Stephenson - AKA Mrs Billy Connolly so expect the Big Yin to be seen in the audience a few times.
*Patsy Kensit - what would a celeb talent show be without Patsy Kensit?
*Paul Daniels - "you're going to like this... not a lot but... oh who are we kidding, you're not going to like this at all". They should pair him with the tallest dancer.
*Peter Shilton - ex England goalkeeper.
*Scott Maslen - used to be on The Bill.
*Tina O'Brien - as a daring innovative ground breaking etc. twist this year, an actress who used to be on Eastenders

duh I mean Coronation Street

Scott Maslen is ex-Stenders as well (in fact, he's actually current Stenders, isn't he?)

hope he dances in character

Anyway, am not excited. Calling Kara Tointon or Matt Baker ftw, without actually seeing any of them dance.

xpost aye (for non-Stenders-watchers, his character is in a wheelchair)

possible winners: Felicity Kendal, Peter Shilton, Matt Baker

runners-up: Pamela Stephenson, Patsy Kensit, Goldie

kept in despite no dancing ability due to looks/comedy balloon muscles: Gavin Henson, Scott Maslen (twice, see below)

kept in despite no dancing ability due to soap association: Jimi Mistry, Kara Tointon, Tina O'Brien, Scott Maslen (twice, see above)

no chance: Ann Widdecombe, Paul Daniels, Michelle Williams (due to being a "furriner")

Sounds about right, but I think Kara Tointon will be best out of the soapies.

Going to stick my neck out and predict that Brendan will get Patsy Kensit.

We are about to find out.

I don't like this meeting up bit. It's like one of those awful charity auctions.

It's a bit cheesy. Matt Baker in equal measure terrified and excited.

Erin a good match for Shilts though.

Robin, Artem, and Jared. The sons Noah didn't talk about.

Going to stick my neck out and predict that Brendan will get Patsy Kensit.

Michelle is partnered with Brendan.

Frankie Say Strictly...

Jesus, I'm already sick of looking at Gavin Henson's chest. If he was a woman, this kind of talk would not be acceptable.

He's on ITV1 in a bit in some kind of "celebs journey into the Arctic Circle", and you can bet that even in sub-zero temperatures the director will still find a way of showing Hewson's chest.

Well that was a bit of an anticlimax and a half, wasn't it? And now we have to wait three weeks while they learn to dance. Borang.

Yeah I don't understand why they did that. The BBC really taking advantage of the non-compete agreement with X Factor.

Non-compete agreement? Whazzat then? I didn't hear about that.

BBC and ITV have agreed to schedule Strictly and X Factor so that they don't clash.
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/839954-x-factor-and-strictly-come-dancing-agree-scheduling-deal

You would think that would have made the BBC cock about with the show less, not more. Oh well. We'll see how it shapes up. And at least Claude will be doing the results show with Tess, instead of Bruce doing it. That's got to be good.

Actually the BBC have cocked about with the show even more - the first episode was last night (Friday) at 9PM. I didn't even know it was on, expecting it to be tonight (Saturday), and it isn't available on iPlayer. Strictly must be one of the BBC's biggest draws this season, yet they're shifting it's scheduling all over the place like it was a BBC3 sitcom.

It's on iPlayer now. Michelle Williams - not good. Also really annoying. Gavin Henson and Pamela Stephenson pretty nifty round the old floor. Judges wuv Kara Tointon.

Whole bunch of undeserved 8s before Matt danced. Based on previous scores, he should have got at least one 9, which would have been ridonk. Craig's score is the only one that counts these days.

Michelle's 8 from Alesha was the daftest one. You can't just give someone 8s because you love them in their real job!

I didn't know Gavin Henson was on this. Has he forgotten that he's a current professional athlete who you'd think has other things to be doing with his time?

He is a plank of wood.

And MAtt Baker is wearing a funnee 'tache - wot larks Pip, wot larks, etc..

Oh God, Peter Shilton doing the Charleston is nothing I ever want to see again. Alesha is on crack if she thinks that was worth a 6.

I seriously LOVE Pamela Stephenson on this so much.

I'm picking her as the winner, even at this early stage. None of the other couples are really anywhere close.

Scott Maslen and Matt Baker are pretty good as well, to be fair, and Kara Tointon seems to have a decent shout at it as well. But outside that four, there's nothing much there. Widdecombe and Shilton have to go next, in that order. At least Shilton can make a fist of ballroom, so for that alone he deserves to stay longer than her.

Also James is my favourite out of the male pro dancers - none of this wacky personality nonsense like there is with Vincent, although he has dialled it down a bit.

Unicycle!

That was pretty good fun!

Very very good but verging on Blue Peter style gag dancing.

Is tricky not to do gag dancing jazzhands stupidity doing a Charleston, tbf.

Michelle Williams has been uniformly rubbish this series, so hoping Ian Waite can make her better than Brendan has managed so far...

no, still stiff and gangly and in danger of snapping/falling over, being dragged all over the place, but I still think it's better than Brendan would have managed to do with her.

"The woman is supposed to follow the man" oh SHUT UP Craig

A bit better this week but still stiff. It sort of, er, kills me that 'Killer' is used for this - is this what happens to 20 year old records? But it could have worked with a more focused dynamic performance.

Yeah, agree with Len on Kara's charleston. Technically really really good, but too slow and not showy enough.

Widdecombe annoys me about a billion times more than John Sargent ever did.

I am now in the really unfortunate position of actually feeling sorry for Anne Widdecombe. Audible laughter throughout, wall-to-wall gimmickry, but in there there were actually a couple of decent steps and maybe teaching her to dance rather than making up ways to twat everything up to the max might have possibly been a better idea? This kind of "hilarity" will keep her in, won't it?

oh fuck off judges. really. just fuck off.

How much of it is people wanting to see these 'hilarious' antics and how much of it is Anton's fanatical fans? I wonder who the genius was who decided to pair them.

I worry that Jimi Mistry might go tonight - totally undermarked and in that really dangerous part of the leaderboard. Though I reckon it's got to be Shilton or Widdecombe.

^ OK, I was a couple of weeks out, but :-(

That phase of feeling sorry for Anne Widdecombe has passed, btw. I hate them with a passion. I did hate that she was being criticised for her age and weight, but fuck it, it's a dance show. Do some fucking dancing.

never watched this show but i've seen shows using the same format in other countries and there's something fairly great about watching those. the celebrities are always such national celebrities, and even then sometimes somewhat niche or faded, that it just seems like it's just people dancing badly.

There are people dancing very well. Anne Widdecombe is not one of them.

Can I be the first one to make the Pamela/Brendan Bradford & Bingley joke?

If you mean Pamela/James, then yes (just watching now).

Stupid gimmicky dances annoy me. If you can't tell the story of the dance without gimmickly props, then tell a different story!

Brief revive to say the following:

• fuck whoever out there is voting for Widdecombe
• woah shit!!! at Matt Baker backflip

Yes and yes. Really liked Pamela and James's waltz too.

God yeah, voting for Ann is just so wrong. The whole thing is just so set for non-existent laughs - pairing her with a guy a good foot taller than her who is entirely made of cheese, ffs. The fact that people are buying it is completely bizarre to me, it's not even a comedy protest vote, is it?

Matt's gymnastics are great. Didn't people get really arsey about Gaby Logan being an ex-gymnast, but Matt seems to get a free pass with it.

Three nights of Strictly next week, and I'll be at ATP. Trishyb, we must find some way of iPlayering it and watching together!

oh, and I really really don't give a shit about the Kara and Artem love story. At all.

Trishyb, we must find some way of iPlayering it and watching together!

Does Butlins have free wifi yet? I will have my laptop with me.

Jolly good. I have my spies investigating the wifi situation right now (would it be sad if we were to take your laptop on a trip to find wifi and download it off the iplayer site?)

The singers are fucking atrocious tonight, btw. They've been not too bad this series, but that Abba medley was painful.

I loved Kara's dress from last night, btw. This Anton and Erin dance is rather nice.

oh, and Bruno, stfu. Scott in bottom two isn't *that* shocking when we're this far through, it's obvious Gavin and Ann have fans (they are the only two left who aren't potential finalists) and when it's down to the public, this is what happens.

NICKY WIRE IN A BANANA SUIT!!!

I was sort of hoping they'd break ranks and assault Ann Widdecombe halfway through.

Hooray, she's out!!

shaun ryder on im a celebrity, manics on strictly... looking forward to [fill in your own joke] on x-factor

Oasis?

would it be sad if we were to take your laptop on a trip to find wifi and download it off the iplayer site?

Ooh, good idea. Saturday and Sunday lunch somewhere? Nice.

I was amazed to see the Manics on Strictly, until I remembered that its a choice between Strictly and X Factor nowadays, so ultimately they made the right decision.

Also had a genuine moment of tension when I thought Scott might be out instead of Ann.

May I join you? :)

Yay! I'll bring the gin and snacks! True spirit of indie festival japes, us lot.

it's obvious Gavin and Ann have fans

There are two in my house who have voted for Gav every week so far. I switched from Patsy to Kara, post-Patsy's (too early) demise. I think Matt will go before Scott actually, unless Scott forgets his steps again under the pressure of the semis.

Thank god the Widdecombe horrorshow is over. And how repulsive is Tony Beak Anton Du Fecking Beke?

Your womenfolk not OTM this year, Dr C. I honestly don't mind who wins out of the people that aren't Gavin.

I've missed Strictly for the past couple of weeks! Ann is gone then? Thank eff. Her continued presence was turning me into a right grumpy old sourpuss, banging on her climate change denial record and getting more and more grumpy as the whole stupid farce continues. It's Strictly for goodness sake! It isn't supposed to make me want to go and listen to the Levellers and fetch dogs on strings etc etc...

(I have watched 0 rub-factor but Strictly is GRATE)

It's his smile apparently, and the fact that he always appeared crushed by the judges comments. Hmmm.

I will always have a soft spot for him for the lomg-range penalty that sunk England in the 2008 6-nations, but it's painful watching him on Strictly. I think Kara will win. It might come down to what dances they perform in the final. Latin is not Pamela's strong suit. I think Kara will win.

Am I the only one missing the dance-offs this year?

He's a good lad, Gavin, but he by no means deserves to be in the final. He hasn't even shown the kind of magical breakthrough of previous sportspeople.

Ailsa, Madchen, we are GO! for Strictly in Minehead. Husband reckons that someone's iPhone data plan should allow us to download and watch, even if we have to kick in a couple of quid to help pay the bill.

huzzah! i have been informed by someone that there is wifi in the pavilion as well, someone who was posting to the internet while watching Mike Watt the other day.

Nice. Booze and ballroom all round.

Just set the Sky+ to record It Takes Two and I see that Zoe Ball is doing it. That's not good. Is it temporary, I wonder, or is Claude not coming back?

Claudia is not coming back. Sadface.

Oh. She mentioned on twitter something about her mat leave coming to an end and I assumed it was no coincidence.

That's rubbish! It was the one thing she was good at!

Perhaps I have this wrong! I hope so.

No, it looks like you're right. Oh well. At least I can still spend my time wishing she'd get her fringe cut, so that's something.

STRICTLY CONTESTANTS 2013

Abbey Clancy
Ashley Taylor Dawson
Ben Cohen
Dave Myers
Deborah Meaden
Fiona Fullerton
Julien Macdonald
Mark Benton
Natalie Gumede
Patrick Robinson
Rachel Riley
Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Susanna Reid
Tony Jacklin
Vanessa Feltz

Ashley Taylor Dawson is the only name I don't recognise there. Heard somewhere that Natalie Lowe's injured this year so Aliona will be taking her place.

I've only heard of four of these people (Fullerton, Riley, Ellis-Bextor, Feltz).

Which is three more than ITV's rival celeb dance-em-up show.

Dave Myers is one of the "Hairy Bikers" cooking blokes.

Abbey Clancy - Peter Crouch's missus
Ashley Taylor Dawson ??
Ben Cohen - Englisn rugby player
Dave Myers - Hairy Biker
Deborah Meaden - Dragon (from Dragon's Den)
Fiona Fullerton - actress
Julien Macdonald - fashion designer
Mark Benton - bloke who's in everything on the telly
Natalie Gumede - husband-basher Kirsty from Coronation Street
Patrick Robinson - used to be in Casualty, probably still is
Rachel Riley - prettier nicer younger Vorderman
Sophie Ellis-Bextor - singer
Susanna Reid - BBC newsreader
Tony Jacklin - ex-golfer
Vanessa Feltz - TV bod and professional reality show contestant

Ashley Taylor Dawson

My Google-fu tells me that he's an actor in Hollyoaks. He also was/is in a shitty boyband who reformed in August oh guess there's no ulterior motive for him being on Strictly then.

reformed as in 'turned over a new leaf' ?

As in 'got back together to be as crap as before with even fewer people giving a toss'.

On at 6:50PM...

residents of Cleethorpes having an epi at being subsumed into Grimsby

Bill Bailey is one of the celebrities this year, which is a bit of a surprise. And his hair has receeded so much - and is pulled back in a ponytail - that I'll reminded of the episode of Black Books where the manager of the rival bookshop wants him to cut his hair.