A thread for Phil Hartman

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Goddamn I miss that man.

One of his more obscure bits, from SNL 1986 (it obv. helps to know the original ads):

Frank Bartles (Phil): Hello. I am Frank Bartles. And this is my partner, Ed Jaymes.

Ed Jaymes (E. Whitney Brown): Hello.

Frank Bartles: We hope you enjoyed the first game of the World Series, we are sorry the Mets lost. But what a slugfest that was. Ed and I have asked the National Broadcasting Company for this time to discuss something that you may heard about - crack. In case you do not get out as much as we do, crack is a drug. Now, Ed and I tried a lot of fool things when we were young, but fortunately we stopped before we suffered any.. permanent damage. Right, Ed?

Ed Jaymes: [ nods slowly ]

Frank Bartles: At least, I did. Why, one time, Ed put a penny on a railroad track, and it got real big.. [ Ed extends his arms ] But crack is a different matter. Even a little bit can cause you to become really stupid. That is what makes people do it a second time. Crack is a killer drug. Take it from us. It is nice to grow old. You can sit on the porch and stare at things all day. Or, you can wave at people as they drive by. Wave, Ed! [Ed nods] Wave, Ed! [Ed waves] These activities cannot be enjoyed when you are dead!

Once again, we thank you for your support, and now Ed would like to say a few words.

Ed Jaymes: "Live.. from New York.. it is Saturday Night."

Share the love.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 21:42 (eighteen years ago) link

According to that Tom Shales SNL book, there was a hardly a cast member more universally revered than Hartman.

Alec Baldwin says that he didn't always like some of the more juvenile sketches he appeared in (like the "Schwetti balls" one), but there was a scene he was in where Hartman simply tugged at him with a look of manic desperation in his eye and said "Take me with you" that caused Baldwin to totally lose it.

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

my favorite SNL guy by a landslide. he could redeem even the dumbest concepts: unfrozen caveman lawyer would be beyond stupid played by anyone else, but phil hartman's "lawyer" voice is one of the great wonders of modern civilization.

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

I think I probably wanted to be Phil Hartman when I was 12 or 13.

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

I always wish he could have been around to do the voice of Zap Brannigan in Futurama

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 22:18 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't forget Pee Wee's Playhouse, and earlier Paul Reuben shows. Even redeemable as a pirate on a children's show..(well, granted, pirates in general are always redeemable.)

His best moment was him as Reagan during the skit where he was a manic, mafia type guy behind the scenes, but that sweet old man to the press. (This was in the midst of the Iran-Contra scandal.)

donut Get Behind Me Carbon Dioxide (donut), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 22:45 (eighteen years ago) link

and of course the narrator in....

...Compulsion.

donut Get Behind Me Carbon Dioxide (donut), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 22:47 (eighteen years ago) link

You may remember him from such films as "Gladys, the Groovy Mule".

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill McNeil people...

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Adobe.

The little car made out of clay.

donut Get Behind Me Carbon Dioxide (donut), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:17 (eighteen years ago) link

quoted weekly at my house:

"Gaybee? What the hell is a gaybee?"

"You'd have to buy a Ram Van for that!"

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:18 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally OTMFM!!!!

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:20 (eighteen years ago) link

"WEEKEND IN THAILAND"

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:23 (eighteen years ago) link

"Believe it or not, Dave, you are NOT Josef Stalin and this is NOT Elizabethan England!"

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:26 (eighteen years ago) link

"Sineaid O'Connor!"

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:26 (eighteen years ago) link

"Gazziza Dilznoofus it's Bill McNeal saying get with the crezappy taste of Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... Rocketfuel's got tha upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick remember, nothing makes yo' feet stank like Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... DAMN! It's crezappy!!!"

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Anal-Retentive Chef, PEOPLE.

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

That was an xpost to Ally.

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Matthew: "In fact in Japan they've got all kinds of different things to eat."
Bill: "Yeah, I know, Matthew, it's called Chinese food. Now shut up."

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill: The eyes are the windows to the skull.
Dave: Soul.
Bill: For those who have one, yes.

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:38 (eighteen years ago) link

I declare this thread...SASSY!

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:39 (eighteen years ago) link

How much time does Will Ferrell have before he dies a tragic early death?

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude way to kill the buzz.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:43 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

too late.

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost: sorry, buzz on.

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I like to pretend Phil Hartman never died. It makes the world seem a little better.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:47 (eighteen years ago) link

How great was his Donahue!

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Dave: Have you ever heard the saying that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vengar?
Bill: and have you ever heard the saying that only a hayseed sits around trying to come up with ways to catch flies?

Ally OTM, still a tragic void, all the years later....

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:48 (eighteen years ago) link

fucking touchpad! Vinegar.

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link

i was just reminscing earlier today in cass about hartman's sinatra. phil, you are missed.

latebloomer: snakes, snails, and puppydog tails (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:55 (eighteen years ago) link

argh! that should've read *in class* not in cass. i am not a ham sandwich.

latebloomer: snakes, snails, and puppydog tails (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:57 (eighteen years ago) link

nor a necro...

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 23:58 (eighteen years ago) link

From the Shales/Miller book:

"Jon Lovitz:

"I'll tell you a story about Phil. You know, we do that sketch Jim Downey wrote, 'Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein.' So they did it once where it was like a talk show and Nora Dunn was doing the 'Pat Stevens Show' with Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein. And Phil is Frankenstein and all of a sudden he starts laughing, right, like he just completely broke up -- ha ha, you know, he laughed out loud. And then he stopped.

"And then about fifteen seconds later, he just completely lost it. So then of course we all started laughing, because he's just losing it. And I'm thinking, 'What is he doing? We're on live television. It's not the Groundlings.' . . . So afterward I asked him, I said, 'What happened? What was so funny?' So he said, well, he was sitting there as Frankenstein and something happened, and thinking about how silly the sketch was, you know, just the idea of it made him laugh all of a sudden. So he started laughing. And then he stopped, right? And then, he said, he was sitting there thinking how funny it must have looked to see Frankenstein laugh like that. And then that just made him like lose it."

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Search: Phil Sinatra giving career advice to Dana George Michael: "When Lady Luck taps you on the shoulder..."

k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:02 (eighteen years ago) link

"You're platinum! Swing, baby!"

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Dave: "I think you're jumping to conclusions."
Bill: "Dave, I stand still, the conclusions jump to me."

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:04 (eighteen years ago) link

"Okay, okay, enough with the horn already! I haven't heard screeching like that since Ava Gardner!"

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:10 (eighteen years ago) link

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/pics/89ecolonblow1.jpg

Pangolino 2, Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:24 (eighteen years ago) link

:-) Thank you all.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I bought his CD on Amazon but it's taken them about three months to source a copy and it still hasn't arrived...

James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Sadly, I only know his work on NewsRadio and the Simpsons - we never really got SNL here. Are there any box set compilations of classic SNL stuff on DVD by any chance? I would really love some.

Ed OTM about the Zapp Braningan thing too. That was the plan, that Groening wanted him for the voice, but then he passed away, so when Billy West showed them the voice he could do for it they were flabbergasted.

"Quoth the raven - what a shine!"

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:32 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.larrymonroe.com/images01/Hart.gif

Masked Gazza, Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Is he on that or something? It's one of the few I don't have.

Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

From the Shales/Miller book:

"Jon Lovitz:

"I'll tell you a story about Phil. You know, we do that sketch Jim Downey wrote, 'Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein.' So they did it once where it was like a talk show and Nora Dunn was doing the 'Pat Stevens Show' with Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein. And Phil is Frankenstein and all of a sudden he starts laughing, right, like he just completely broke up -- ha ha, you know, he laughed out loud. And then he stopped.

"And then about fifteen seconds later, he just completely lost it. So then of course we all started laughing, because he's just losing it. And I'm thinking, 'What is he doing? We're on live television. It's not the Groundlings.' . . . So afterward I asked him, I said, 'What happened? What was so funny?' So he said, well, he was sitting there as Frankenstein and something happened, and thinking about how silly the sketch was, you know, just the idea of it made him laugh all of a sudden. So he started laughing. And then he stopped, right? And then, he said, he was sitting there thinking how funny it must have looked to see Frankenstein laugh like that. And then that just made him like lose it."

-- Rickey Wright (rrricke...), September 8th, 2005.

That's a great bit - "Succinctly Speaking"

Host: Tonight's topic -- fire. Tarzan?

Tarzan: Fire good.

Host: Tonto?

Tonto: Fire good, keemosabe.

Host: Frankenstein?

Frankenstein: fire BAAAAD!!!!

Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Causistry, his wikipedia entry says he designed that. Also:

Hartman grew up in Connecticut and L.A., where he pursued a career in graphic art. (Hartman designed several album covers, including Steely Dan's Aja, as well as a logo for Crosby, Stills and Nash.)

from http://www.laweekly.com/ink/98/28/tv-shulman.php

Now, I can'ty find that fact about Aja anywhere else. Is it true??

Masked Gazza, Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I've heard that before, too.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:09 (eighteen years ago) link

ask aja!

s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:16 (eighteen years ago) link

I disagree though that Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer is a stupid sketch idea. I mean that's just it though, its stupidity is part of its hilarity. But it's also a brilliant send-up of "I'm just a poor country lawyer" schtick.

Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Anal-Retentive Chef, PEOPLE.

haha YES

renegade bus (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

How heart-breaking is that odd sketch with and Jan Hooks where she plays an old woman that goes to a safety deposit box to reminisce? She puts on some pearls or something and is transformed into a young woman and dances with Phil Hartman while they sing a duet, and then at the end she becomes the old woman again, and the bank security guard puts his hand on her shoulder and its Phil as an old man...? This summary doesn't really do it justice, but when they aired it after Phil's death there wasn't a dry eye in (my) house.

Belushi has a sketch like this, too, where he's dressed like an old man with a cane, surveying the graves of his SNL cast members. He says something like, "Pity.. I always thought I'd be the first to go."

Both of them were shot on actual film, too, and weren't performed in front of an audience, so (appropriately, it turns out) there's no laughter.

poortheatre (poortheatre), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Anal Retentive Chef

Cooking with The Anal Retentive Chef

Gene ... Phil Hartman

[open on the Anal Retentive Chef's tidy kitchen]

Gene: Hello! And welcome to "The Anal Retentive Chef"! I'm Gene. Today, we're going to be making Pepper Steak. Now, you're going to need: one large bell pepper, three onions, exactly two inches in diameter, and 17 1/3 ounces of lean beef cut into 43 pieces. Okay, let's get started.
Now, I've already cut up my bell pepper. Look at this. [holds up bowl] Isn't this nice? See how all the pieces are the same size? People try to tell you that the secret to Pepper Steak is the seasoning - but we know differently, don't we? Uh-huh. It's getting all the pieces the same size. And that's what I've done here. Beauti ... uh-oh! [pulls out piece of pepper] This one's a little bigger than the rest, so we'll just discard that one. [pulls out another piece] And I don't think this little wrinkly one belongs in here. [pulls out another] And this ... well, I just don't like the look of that one at all. Alright, as a matter of fact, why don't we just start over and throw this out? [places bowl on counter]

And how do we throw things out? Okay. We take our paper towel, two pieces, unbroken, lay it out neatly, dump the refuse inside, arranged neatly ... [assembles the garbage] ... let's take these little nasties we separated earlier, put that back ... fold over carefully, making sure the corners are square ... and ... we take a piece of aluminum foil, and we place our refuse onto the foil, and fold over very carefully - this way, it won't leak onto the other garbage. Aluminum foil is such a miracle product! It's really an extraordinary product. Alright, and then we take a brown, paper sandwich bag ... [opens bag] ...place the refuse inside ... [drops it in] ...and ... oh no, this bag is torn.. [looks around] Well ... no, that's alright. We'll just fold over, and no one will see. We'll fold it over twice to be careful ... then we get our tape. [grabs tape, which is naturally covered in a cozy] And, we tape it shut - be very careful to center the tape on the bag. I like to keep my tape dispenser right here on the counter. There we go! [holds up bag] All ready for the trash. Now that's some garbage you can live with! [laughs]
Alright, I noticed some of you were admiring my tape dispenser cozy. Isn't that pretty? I made it myself, out of toothpicks, felt, plain old buckroom, a couple of pearl buttons and some eyelets. Now, isn't that better than looking at an old tape dispenser? I think so! Alright. Let's set this over here. [places tape dispenser onto the counter next to the sink, behind him]

Okay, where were we? We were going to dice the bell pepper. But ... oh ... [thinking] ... so, we're going to need our chopping block ... [pulls it out] But we can't put that down, because there's some water there from the bell pepper, so let's clean that up. As a matter of fact, this stovetop could use a lick and a promise while we're at it! So, how do we clean? We take our bucket ... but, first, let's remove the food products, because we don't want to get any caustic substances on the food, of course. [places food products on the counter next to the sink, behind him] Place these neatly in the background - this floor will be cleaned later.
Okay, so we're ready to clean. [pulls up mop bucket] We've got our glove, to protect us - we don't want to ruin our manicure. And we've got a clean white cloth, and abrasive cleanser - none of that non-abrasive cleanser for us, it's good old-fashioned cleanser. That'll get us started, I think I'll clean these cabinets while I'm at it. And, oh! Look at this. [points to the stove] Aluminum foil is filthy! I'm going to have to replace that. So, we might as well pull that up right now. [closing music starts up] I don't when I cleaned that up last, I'd hate to think. And, God knows what those mopboards look like. But! We start at the top, and clean down, so as not to drip ...

Announcer: This has been "Cooking With The Anal Retentive Chef".

renegade bus (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 8 September 2005 03:58 (eighteen years ago) link

It's too bad they couldn't have worked Elmer Fudd into that fire sketch;.

k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:16 (eighteen years ago) link

The sketch I was talking about ("Love is a Dream") appears to be on the Best of Phil Hartman DVD

poortheatre (poortheatre), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:21 (eighteen years ago) link

I so so so much want to see old SNL skits now. It isnt fair :(

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:24 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh.. xpost. WOuld that be this?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0500148/

And its avail on DVD? I must have this. :D

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:25 (eighteen years ago) link

another SNL classic: phil hartman as albert goldman, the fifth beatle.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS JOHN LENNON...AND YOU TOO, ELVIS!"

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:28 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't have the dvd but comedy central plays the "best of hartman" show every now and then, and it's pretty great from beginning to end.

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:29 (eighteen years ago) link

"i got chunks of guys like you in my STOOL!"

joseph (joseph), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:40 (eighteen years ago) link

"next question! sinbad o'connor!"

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:46 (eighteen years ago) link

GIGGLES

oops (Oops), Thursday, 8 September 2005 04:58 (eighteen years ago) link

"I'm just a caveman. I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me!"(followed by elaborate legal argument)

For me it's a three way tie between Phil Hartman, Eddie Murphy and Dana Carvey with regards to my all-time favourite cast member. He was also spectacular as Bill McNeal on "News Radio".

J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 8 September 2005 07:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, Trayce, if you can get hold of a "News Radio" DVD, you'll love that too.

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh yeah Ive seen News Radio, but not for many years... loved that show tho. If theres a DVD of it too, I will hunt it down!

Gaw'bless old TV shows surfacig on DVD, to save shmos like me who dont have cable and whose country's free to air TV both blows AND sucks.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:10 (eighteen years ago) link

"You know, Ernie Borgnine had a thing for white cotton panties."

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92jsexontape.phtml

weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Thursday, 8 September 2005 09:35 (eighteen years ago) link

That thing where he cracked up on the Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein talk show bit...Jon Lovitz left out the best part - he got up and walked right THROUGH the back of the set!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:33 (eighteen years ago) link

"Marge, you've come to the right place...by hiring me as your attorney, you also get this smoking monkey!"

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes yes more Troy McLure!1!!

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Hartman was probably the best ACTOR ever on SNL. See the Dana Carvey "Choppin' Broccolli" sketch, where Hartman plays one of the record execs, and see his reaction shot when Carvey is playing the song, gazing off into space with this fixed grin on his face - the funniest part of the sketch.

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I will never forget this Bill McNeil line, EVER:

"Back in the early days of radio, all they had were jungle drums beating the rhythmic message of traffic and weather from village to village, but did they complain?"

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor,
it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice
through so it can be collected and exported.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."

Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness."

My good looks paid for that pool, and my talent filled it with water.

Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure, your future uncle.
Lisa: Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll.
Troy McClure: You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.

Selma: But ... don't you love me?
Troy McClure: Sure I do! Like I love Fresca. Isn't that enough? The only difference between our marriage and any one else's is: we know ours is a sham.

Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?
Troy McClure: Uh ... the movie or the planet?
Parker: The brand-new multimillion dollar musical. And you are starring ... as the human.
Troy McClure: It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Troy McClure: Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge."

beanz (beanz), Thursday, 8 September 2005 13:51 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z
No you'll never make a monkey out of me.

Oh my god, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You finally made a monkey
(Yes we finally made a monkey)
You finally made a monkey out of me.

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Troy McLure's movie credits were fantastic, but I'll always have a special fondness for "Gay? I wish!"

Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Hi, I'm Troy McLure, and you may remember me from such nature films as "Earwigs? Ew!" and "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory"

Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Hutz: And so, ladies and gentleman of the jury I rest my case.
Judge: Hmmm. Mr. Hutz, do you know that you're not wearing any pants?
Hutz: DAAAA!! I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?

beanz (beanz), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I respectfully suggest we move away from the Simpsons-geekery (for which we have many many other threads) and back to the Hartman celebration.

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Seconded. I mean, trust me, I LOVE his Simpsons moments to death, but it's one small part (and Ally's NewsRadio quotes have been killing me).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I disrespectfully say that all you Simpsons Nerds can suck deez nuts.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:13 (eighteen years ago) link

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball."

brianiac (briania), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:19 (eighteen years ago) link

The cereal ad for Colon Blow ...
"Sounds delicious!"

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

"Show me a woman who isn't jealous of another woman and I'll show you a man."

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill:"Dave, everyone in that office thinks you're a great boss, every bit as good as Lisa. In fact, there was no real way to choose between you two."
Dave:"Well then why did every single person vote against me?"
Bill:"Joe voted using a computerized random number generater, Beth voted against you because Lisa gets fewer phone calls and doesn't like coffee, and Matthew is a lifelong Republican so he had no choice."
Dave:"And why didn't you vote for me?"
Bill:"I still think I did. This is one of those things we'll never know the full truth of."

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:37 (eighteen years ago) link

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL JAMES CAAN AWAY FROM ME!

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh my god, I completely forgot about the thing where Bill McNeal was Mark Russell in the elevator....

"Someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole... someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole... someone's in the kitchen with Bob... that's really all I have right now... say, do you know if Bob Dole cooks?"

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahahah. I love you both.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:39 (eighteen years ago) link

"Have you ever heard the expression, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then toss it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place'?"

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:40 (eighteen years ago) link

god, you NewsRadio geeks are at it again

oops (Oops), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:55 (eighteen years ago) link

god shut up already
just because they don't want you on the flirting thread
don't come here

-- Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr_...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005 4:17 PM. (dr g) (link)

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Dave: I take the complaint box very seriously and I seem to be the only one who does.
Bill: A complaint about the complaint box, delicious.

And that "This is one of those things we'll never know the full truth of" line is still one of my favorites.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities.

This way to the cafeteria!

Phil Hartman, also the king of cameos (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Good lord. How in the world did I forget that?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:20 (eighteen years ago) link

From PANDEMONIUM (Phil was the reporter):

[At a crime scene where five cheerleaders have been turned into a "human shish-kebob"]
Photographer: This must be the act of a maniac.
Reporter: Either that, or a very large chef.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

According to IMDB, he also apparently did voices for GOBOTS!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to another radio station as we broadcasters sometimes do. What I heard shocked and saddened me. I heard a broadcaster, who will go unnamed, use the word penis on the air. At nine in the morning, not just once but twice, he said... that word twice. Now as a broadcaster freedom of speech is my bread and butter, but I'm also a big fan of a little thing called decency, the meat in the broadcasting sandwich. I am personally outraged by the shock tactics our competitors are using in pursuit of the all mighty ratings. Freedom of speech is one thing, the word penis is another.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The best was when Dave and Bill both quit coffee.

Also the line about "Is there anything you won't drink?" "Yeah...POISON. I'm saving it for YOU."

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:59 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG wait a minute...Phil did DEEP THOUGHTS, didn't he!?!?!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 8 September 2005 17:00 (eighteen years ago) link

He did the announcer voice introducing DEEP THOUGHTS but I don't believe he was the man actually reading the DEEP THOUGHTS.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 8 September 2005 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally OTM, Jack Handey read the actual Deep Thoughts.

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 8 September 2005 17:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Male Customer: Do you support the decision to send troops to Somalia?

Bill Clinton: [ chews his McMuffin ] Mmm.. that's a good question. Yes, I do, and let me tell you why. See, right now, we're sending in.. [ holds us McMuffin ] ...food... [ puts McMuffin in front of Male Customer ] ...to Somalia... but it's not getting to the people who need it because... [ brings McMuffin back to himself ] ...it's being intercepted by the warlords. [ chews McMuffin some more ] And it's not just us. It's other countries, too... [ grabs a McNugget from another customer ] Your McNugget is aid from Great Britain... [takes it to other customer, then gobbles it down ] ...intercepted by warlords! [ grabs someone's Filet-o-Fish ] This man's Filet-o-Fish sandwich over here is relief from Italy.. [ pops it in his mouth ] ...warlords! And you can send all the food you want... [ grabs different items ] ...a McDLT, hot apple pie...it's just gonna end up with... [ puts it all in his mouth ] ...the warlords! Now, with a broad-based international military force, we can make sure that the McRib sandwich... [ grabs one and places it on someone's tray ] ...gets to the people who need it. [ picks it up and gobbles it anyway ] Can I get a Coke?

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 18:32 (eighteen years ago) link

As Sinatra to Billy Idol (Sting)

"PEOPLE WANNA LIKE YOU!"

Phil Dokes (sunny), Thursday, 8 September 2005 18:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill: Where you're from, the biggest news story is that a cow got loose in the city.
Dave: I'm from Milwaukee, which has a population of about a million people.
Bill: So it must have been some hub-bub when that cow got loose.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 8 September 2005 19:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahahahahaha! To it all!

marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Thursday, 8 September 2005 20:08 (eighteen years ago) link

argh! that should've read *in class* not in cass. i am not a ham sandwich.

-- latebloomer: snakes, snails, and puppydog tails (posercore24...), September 8th, 2005.

nor a necro...

-- when something smacks of something (right.knewi...), September 8th, 2005.

ironically i do have an iq of 32, though!

latebloomer: snakes, snails, and puppydog tails (latebloomer), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:11 (eighteen years ago) link

As Sinatra to Luther Campbell (Chris Rock): "Kid, you got talent! You don't have to work blue!"

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:21 (eighteen years ago) link

"but i don't HAVE any talent! this is all i got!!"

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

"The Sinatra Group": greatest sketch ever?

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:26 (eighteen years ago) link

I mean, even Sting is funny in that shit. [Makes exaggerated sneery face.]

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

For Nick:

http://giganticmag.com/images/ilx/hartman_broccoli.jpg

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:40 (eighteen years ago) link

It took me about 90 seconds to find that and download it. All-time famous sketch.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

And something about that photo has made me think for the very first time, "Phil Hartman was a very handsome man."

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:47 (eighteen years ago) link

have we mentioned that he co-wrote Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and shows up at the end as a reporter?

or that Jan Hooks completely improvised her Alamo tour guide bits?

kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 8 September 2005 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate to speak ill of the dead, but the SNL Best of also made me think that he might have harbored some misogyny.

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 9 September 2005 02:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Gee, I can't imagine why he would have felt a little bitter about one woman in particular...

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 9 September 2005 03:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh well yeah, um, well I guess there is that.

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 9 September 2005 03:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey heres something from the IMDB triv on him I have to admit I didnt know: The character of Phillip J Fry in 'Futurama' is named for him.

Thats sweet.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 9 September 2005 03:24 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate to speak ill of the dead, but the SNL Best of also made me think that he might have harbored some misogyny.

Say more.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 9 September 2005 04:32 (eighteen years ago) link

All of the women in that SNL book spoke very very highly of him, about him being one of the few men in the cast at the time who was supportive the female cast members. Of course, the book was written after his death, but it rang true to me.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate to speak ill of the dead, but the SNL Best of also made me think that he might have harbored some misogyny.

Say more.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 9th, 2005.

Just seemed like a lot of the skits he's in happen to involve him berating or talking down to women. Maybe one of the writers just kept writing him those parts though, or maybe it's just what they selected.

Anyway, it's not in a "what a misogynistic prick" kind of way so much as a repressed anger kind of way, which, as said above, might be understandable.

Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think you can judge by the skits that he did. He may have been (and probably was) lampooning that type of character. Maybe one of the things he always found extremely funny was the misogynist type like you'd see in a lot of movies. .. think of Laurence Olivier in Rebecca... Hilarious!

when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Friday, 9 September 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Loved her? Loved her? You perfect fool! I hated her!

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 9 September 2005 14:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill: You know what it's like? It's like taking your daughter to the fair and buying her cotton candy and winning prizes for her and then you get on the Ferris wheel and she wants to make out.

Lisa: Ok...

Bill: Well how could she do that to me, Lisa? How could she... french her daddy?

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:08 (eighteen years ago) link

dave225 OTM. I think he was very good at playing that sort of clueless authoritarian figure and so was cast in sketches that played upon that strength.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:11 (eighteen years ago) link

i hear carol o'connor was a racist

oops (Oops), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:12 (eighteen years ago) link

"Gazziza Dilznoofus it's Bill McNeal saying get with the crezappy taste of Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... Rocketfuel's got tha upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick remember, nothing makes yo' feet stank like Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... DAMN! It's crezappy!!!"

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:19 (eighteen years ago) link

"I respectfully suggest we move away from the Simpsons-geekery (for which we have many many other threads) and back to the Hartman celebration."

pffft. I fail to see how lines from NewsRadio (an innocuous and forgettable sitcom) are somehow inherently more worthwhile than his work on the Simpsons (the greatest television show of the last 20 years).

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I agree. There is a lot of overlap between Simpsons love and Hartman love, and you can't just make that go away. YOU CAN'T!

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

I feel like there's more HARTMAN in NewsRadio, since you can see his face and his actions, and since I've noted I think he's actually a great ACTOR. I like his Simpsons work too, but I think it's more about the writers than his voicework. And then when you get into text quotes of the Simpsons, you lose all of the Hartman and it's JUST about the writers. So really, I'd prefer to stay away from contextless quoting completely and actually discuss Hartman's work, but that's just me and I'm sure I'll be overruled.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I was writing that as I was thinking about it, so that's why I kind of contradict myself. The last sentence is the most important part.

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

newsradio never got shown over here, nor SNL really, so i'm enjoying the quotes from those more. but thanks for all of it...

stevie (stevie), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:47 (eighteen years ago) link

it is just text here, but when i read it i can hear phil doing troy/lionel and that is what makes me giggle, if I do.

NewsRadio is obviously more indie than the Simpsons. Less played out. Less tainted by this conception of the ultra-geeky fan. Less funny though, too. Quoting it shows that you are a connosseur of fine, less well-known vintage comedy, and better than Simpsons geeks.

oops (Oops), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess I'm just snarky cuz I just got the Simpsons Season 6 DVDs and Hartman's all over it. Bart vs. Australia, for example, has a great Hartman part (as the US Ambassador).

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 9 September 2005 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

I agree. There is a lot of overlap between Simpsons love and Hartman love, and you can't just make that go away. YOU CAN'T!

Very nice. Now is this where I point out the 'crezappy' bit was already quoted near the top of the thread?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 9 September 2005 21:24 (eighteen years ago) link

according to imdb phil hartman's first role was as "additional voices" on "scooby and scrappy-doo"!!

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 9 September 2005 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Very nice. Now is this where I point out the 'crezappy' bit was already quoted near the top of the thread?

I don't think that anyone did this.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 9 September 2005 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

"Gazziza Dilznoofus it's Bill McNeal saying get with the crezappy taste of Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... Rocketfuel's got tha upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick remember, nothing makes yo' feet stank like Rocketfuel Malt Liquor... DAMN! It's crezappy!!!"

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...), September 8th, 2005. (later)

I mean, I agree it's wonderful to quote again and again and all. ;-)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 9 September 2005 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, this is just one of those things that we'll never know the full truth of.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 9 September 2005 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

NewsRadio is obviously more indie than the Simpsons. Less played out. Less tainted by this conception of the ultra-geeky fan.

just because youre banned from the crush thread..., Friday, 9 September 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

The best was when Dave and Bill both quit coffee.

Dave quit coffee, Bill quit smoking. To wit:

Dave: Hey I have an idea. I'll give up coffee, if you give up cigarettes. Huh? We'll go through this together.
Bill: But you should have to give up something of equal difficulty. Like going to the bathroom.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 9 September 2005 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I actually find The Simpsons to be innocuous and forgettable! Whoops! I agree with N/A in that there are about 70 threads dedicated to the Simpsons, I don't mind people quoting his Simpson's work here but I don't want this to turn into a "quote Lionel Hutch" or whatever his name is thread.

Anyway, kenan, the best line of that isn't in your quote. The best line of it is the part where Dave admits to drinking 2-3 POTS of coffee per day and Bill is like, "That's just...SICK."

Also the episode where he gives himself a heart attack wearing the Patch "like a belt" around his waist and they revive him with Foghat.

Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

guys guys, there's room for simpsons love AND news radio love.

renegade bus (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 9 September 2005 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate to speak ill of the dead, but the SNL Best of also made me think that he might have harbored some misogyny.

Say more.

One of his wives remarked that he "wasn't all there" emotionally, but what comedian/actor/entertainment guy isn't.

I liked his "Max Jerome - Private Eye!" character from the 1-800-COLLECT commercials

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 9 September 2005 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Also the episode where he gives himself a heart attack wearing the Patch "like a belt" around his waist and they revive him with Foghat.

I think you're conflating Bill eating the patch and Jimmy James in the coma.

The Yellow Kid, Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Yellow Kid is right. Ally, rent one DVD.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Or several, even. Make a day of it. I recommend this to anyone.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill eating the patch

He didn't EAT it! My God, do I have to LOAN you all the DVDs?

Anyway... yeah... Phil Hartman... great.

Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:01 (eighteen years ago) link

i liked newsradio a lot, i just don't remember too much of it anymore:-/

latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:15 (eighteen years ago) link

He did eat the patch - just not then. It was in the fourth season where he switched to chewing tobacco.

"Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?"

carson dial (carson dial), Saturday, 10 September 2005 08:18 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread has made me laugh so hard. Thank you.
I think Phil would be very happy with this thread.

aimurchie (aimurchie), Saturday, 10 September 2005 11:55 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...
"Rain . . . Spain . . . Bunnybrain!"

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Sunday, 6 November 2005 10:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Harry: Johnny! Good to see you!

Johnny O'Connor: Hello, Harry, how's tricks?

Harry: not bad for an old dog! [ both men laugh ] Have a seat. [ Johnny sits ] How's the film going?

Johnny O'Connor: Well, I just shot the last scene. [ re-enacts that last scene for Harry ] There I was in the cockpit, surrounded by zeroes, enemy aircraft carrier in my sight! My machine guns were empty! I had one bullet left! [ screams ] Aaaagggghhhhhhh!!!!

Harry: [ jumps up ] Alright, snap out of it!

Johnny O'Connor: You snap out of it!

Harry: You snap out of it! [ slaps Jonnhy's face ]

Johnny O'Connor: Sorry, Harry. I think I got a little lost in this role.

Harry: Yeah, I guess you did.

Johnny O'Connor: Anyway, I'm sure "Yankee Kamikazee" is going to be a real winner.

Harry: Well, I hope you're right..

Johnny O'Connor: [ reflecting ] Maybe I've made too many of these war movies. Maybe I should take a rest, huh, Harry?

Harry: Well, I'm glad you brought that up, Johnny.. I was thinking you should take a rest, too. A permanent one.

Johnny O'Connor: [ confused ] What do you mean?

Harry: I'm letting you go.

Johnny O'Connor: You mean..?

Harry: Yes. Your contract isn't being renewed.

Johnny O'Connor: But, Harry, I..

Harry: You're finished, Johnny!

Johnny O'Connor: Don't mince words!

Harry: I think you stink!

Johnny O'Connor: Listen, Harry, if you're unhappy with my work, tell me now!

Harry: You're through, do you hear me, through! You'll never work in this town again!

Johnny O'Connor:Don't leave me hanging by a thread! Let me know how I stand!

Harry: I think you're the worst actor I've ever seen, and I get five hundred letters a day telling me the same!

Johnny O'Connor: What's the word on the street?

Harry: [ angry ] Now, you listen to me, Johnny O'Connor: you've been flying in that airplane too long, and it's time you were grounded!

Johnny O'Connor: Nobody shoots down Johnny O'Connor.. You're forgetting something, Harry! I'm a hero! I've made twelve war movies for you, Harry, and they've all made gold! I've knocked more Mitsubishis out of the sky than any man alive!

Harry: Look, Johnny.. Johnny, you're forgetting something: the Japanese are our allies now. The war is over, Johnny. So are you.

Johnny O'Connor: [ persistent ] Is it the booze, Harry? The dames? I'll cut back!

Harry: No, no, Johnny..

Johnny O'Connor: Is it the pills?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The sheep?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: The ducks?

Harry: No.

Johnny O'Connor: Your wife?

Harry: No, not.. what?!

Johnny O'Connor: What?!

Harry: What?! Oh! Get off!

Johnny O'Connor: [ near tears ] I'm sorry if I let you down, Harry. You've always been like a father to me..

Harry: [ reconsidering ] Oh, Johnny.. Johnny.. Alright. I'm going to give you one more chance..

Johnny O'Connor: [ excited ] Do you mean it, Harry?

Harry: Yes, I'm afraid I do.. Now, listen - I'm doing a new picture: "Reptilla". A lizard gets mutated by an atomic blast, see? It swells up, twenty stories high! And there's a fire-breathing tango all over Tokyo!

Johnny O'Connor: [ thinking ] Yeah.. yeah.. I think I can play a giant reptile..

Harry: Don't be ridiculous! Reptilla will be played by a man in a rubber suit.

Johnny O'Connor: Oh.. I don't want my face covered.

Harry: Of course not. Now, the part I have in mind for you is this one.. [ flips through script ] You're Man #3.

Johnny O'Connor: Man #3.

Harry: You're on an elevated train. You slip off, and get squished by Reptilla's toe. Here, read this line.

Johnny O'Connor: [ looks at the line and recites it dramatically ] Aaaagggghhhhhh!!

Harry: Good! You can start packing, we sail a week from Tuesday.

Johnny O'Connor: Thanks, Harry, you won't regret it! [ walks away from Harry ]

Harry: Hey, don't forget your script!

Johnny O'Connor: [ returns, grabs script ] Yes! Science fiction! The wave of the future!

gear (gear), Sunday, 6 November 2005 10:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahahah!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 November 2005 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

The bald chick--what's with her head? Let's start with the chick.

. . .

I'll tell you what you better understand. Next time Old Glory rides up that pole, you'd better sing that anthem, darling.

It's not my flag, I'm Irish.

Oh yeah? Well then stay off of this stuff. That's the curse of you people.

rael imperial aerosol kid, Sunday, 6 November 2005 17:34 (eighteen years ago) link

eight months pass...
"NewsRadio" reruns just started on Nick at Nite last week -- eight shows in a row on Tuesday (? -- check your local listings) mornings before the sun comes up.

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 26 July 2006 09:31 (seventeen years ago) link

one year passes...

Seriously, fuck Andy Dick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U27SzxD1Xyo

James Mitchell, Wednesday, 28 May 2008 16:07 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

Ten years ago next week :-(

StanM, Friday, 22 May 2009 20:35 (fifteen years ago) link

:(

Johnny Fever, Friday, 22 May 2009 20:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Damn, I had thought it was coming up soon.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 May 2009 20:48 (fifteen years ago) link

I think it's eleven.

kate78, Friday, 22 May 2009 20:49 (fifteen years ago) link

It is eleven, he died in 1998.

homage is parody gone sour (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 22 May 2009 20:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Sorry!

StanM, Friday, 22 May 2009 21:06 (fifteen years ago) link

No big deal, I just thought I remembered reading a "10 years on" type of article last year.

homage is parody gone sour (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 22 May 2009 21:08 (fifteen years ago) link

I just remember 1998 a little too well.

kate78, Friday, 22 May 2009 21:09 (fifteen years ago) link

watched a truckload of Newsradio on Hulu the last couple of weeks

^defense is impregnable (will), Friday, 22 May 2009 21:16 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Little snippet of the clueless 40s actor at the end of his SNL audition...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X2hqdOMxyM

"I can do any dialect. Go ahead, call out a dialect."

"French!"

"I don't do that."

The Amy Misto Family Knife (Plasmon), Thursday, 9 December 2010 20:57 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLyJ4QMj-5M

From the Shales/Miller book:

"Jon Lovitz:

"I'll tell you a story about Phil. You know, we do that sketch Jim Downey wrote, 'Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein.' So they did it once where it was like a talk show and Nora Dunn was doing the 'Pat Stevens Show' with Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein. And Phil is Frankenstein and all of a sudden he starts laughing, right, like he just completely broke up -- ha ha, you know, he laughed out loud. And then he stopped.

"And then about fifteen seconds later, he just completely lost it. So then of course we all started laughing, because he's just losing it. And I'm thinking, 'What is he doing? We're on live television. It's not the Groundlings.' . . . So afterward I asked him, I said, 'What happened? What was so funny?' So he said, well, he was sitting there as Frankenstein and something happened, and thinking about how silly the sketch was, you know, just the idea of it made him laugh all of a sudden. So he started laughing. And then he stopped, right? And then, he said, he was sitting there thinking how funny it must have looked to see Frankenstein laugh like that. And then that just made him like lose it."

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, September 7, 2005 8:01 PM (5 years ago)

Lightning Is For Babies (Johnny Fever), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Absolutely crying laughing over the German impressionist about halfway through the audition tape.

The animal magnetism of Tim Pawlenty (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Zomg real tears of real laughter at the German. Ow it hurts

Square-Panted Sponge Robert (VegemiteGrrrl), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I get so sad every time I hear his voice on the simpsons

the nagl is the nagl (dayo), Thursday, 9 December 2010 23:55 (thirteen years ago) link

Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities.
This way to the cafeteria!

― Phil Hartman, also the king of cameos (nickalicious), Thursday, September 8, 2005 12:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

<3 <3 <3

˙❤‿❤˙˙❤‿❤˙ (ENBB), Friday, 10 December 2010 00:11 (thirteen years ago) link

feel like if I had phil hartman's voice I would get so many chicks

the nagl is the nagl (dayo), Friday, 10 December 2010 00:58 (thirteen years ago) link

six months pass...

just found out we went to the same highschool

jaxon, Thursday, 30 June 2011 01:00 (twelve years ago) link

that german impressionist bit had me crying with laughter. oh my god.

by another name (amateurist), Thursday, 30 June 2011 01:19 (twelve years ago) link

I hope his wife is burning in hell
blunty6feetunder 3 months ago

rip nyc chicken (am0n), Friday, 1 July 2011 20:11 (twelve years ago) link

six months pass...

How heart-breaking is that odd sketch with and Jan Hooks where she plays an old woman that goes to a safety deposit box to reminisce? She puts on some pearls or something and is transformed into a young woman and dances with Phil Hartman while they sing a duet, and then at the end she becomes the old woman again, and the bank security guard puts his hand on her shoulder and its Phil as an old man...? This summary doesn't really do it justice, but when they aired it after Phil's death there wasn't a dry eye in (my) house.

Spot on. Bless ya, Phil:

http://vimeo.com/23450183

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 January 2012 20:19 (twelve years ago) link

"He fancied himself a master thespian - the actor's actor. His performances had more filigree than a Gothic cathedral."

Fanfare for the History Mayne (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 7 January 2012 21:26 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

...fifteen years. Jesus.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 29 May 2013 05:24 (eleven years ago) link

:(

still remember hearing about this on the radio while coming home from a family vacation -- my mom and i were both seriously bummed out.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 06:11 (eleven years ago) link

Simply the best.

Your Favorite Album in the Cutout Bin, Wednesday, 29 May 2013 14:59 (eleven years ago) link

I was at work the day it happened, and part of my job was actually monitoring the AP and other newswires for news about our clients, and I saw this come across. I was dumbfounded. I still can't believe he's dead sometimes.

I was just recently re-watching some season 3 Simpsons, and watched the one where Bart is accused of murdering Skinner. Lionel Hutz is so great in that episode, esp. when Skinner turns up alive at the end. "Your honor, do I still get paid>"

Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 15:04 (eleven years ago) link

I hope that, in honor of the anniversary yesterday, Jon Lovitz went out and beat up Andy Dick.

Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 29 May 2013 15:26 (eleven years ago) link

three months pass...

Would have been 65 today.

A Made Man In The Mellow Mafia (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 24 September 2013 18:39 (ten years ago) link

go with god you big palooka

I’m a sophisticated guy, I like sophisticated music (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 24 September 2013 18:42 (ten years ago) link

eleven months pass...

I've already got it coming in the mail (hopefully today).

Johnny Fever, Monday, 22 September 2014 14:07 (nine years ago) link

seein him in Pee Wee's Playhouse episodes makes me miss him all over again

Οὖτις, Monday, 22 September 2014 15:24 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

http://www.avclub.com/article/maura-tierney-affair-newsradio-and-being-fired-gro-210942

AVC: Do you have a definitive Phil Hartman story?

MT: Um. [Long pause.] I don’t know. I do remember one thing he said to me. Joe Rogan was being so fucking mean to me one day—and mostly we were all friends, but Joe could be a weirdo—and I was sort of upset about it, so I was just sitting over in the corner. And Phil came over and put his arm around me, and he said, “You know, I just want to tell you you’re loved.” Isn’t that really nice? I know you expected me to tell some wacky story about Phil, but he was like that, too. He just put his arm around me and said that. He was so sweet. He was a really nice man.

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 4 November 2014 16:42 (nine years ago) link

:)

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 4 November 2014 16:44 (nine years ago) link

three years pass...

20 years ago today.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 May 2018 03:56 (six years ago) link

Didn't remember him doing Trump (and Jan Hooks as Ivana) on SNL...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1gC912LUq0

Making Plans For Sturgill (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 07:39 (six years ago) link

Also: Somebody uploaded a mastercut of the Max Jerome ads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jlvK3Uc7e4

Making Plans For Sturgill (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 29 May 2018 08:01 (six years ago) link

three years pass...
one year passes...

Would have been 75 today...

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 24 September 2023 22:20 (eight months ago) link

Joe Rogan was being so fucking mean to me one day—and mostly we were all friends, but Joe could be a weirdo

Nice to know he was always like this.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, 24 September 2023 23:22 (eight months ago) link

Yeah, looking again at Newsradio in recent years and it's pretty much all there already, except his character is generally regarded by the show as an idiot and tool.

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 24 September 2023 23:55 (eight months ago) link

Wasnt he an afterthought/change of actor anyway? ISTR the pilot had anoter guy.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 25 September 2023 00:24 (eight months ago) link

Sort of. They originally cast Ray Romano as the handyman/tech guy, but he was dismissed before the pilot was filmed, and was replaced by an actor named Greg Lee, who was then replaced by Rogan when the series was picked up. Lee's character was a little different from Rogan's, which was probably tailored to his existing style (Rogan had already been doing standup and had other similar TV roles)

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 25 September 2023 00:58 (eight months ago) link

IIRC Rogan's character is depicted and constantly called out as a paranoid nut who's into crazy conspiracies. Anyway, that show has one of the craziest casts - it's pretty cool how they were able to tap into the best-known ensembles from that era due to the connections each actor had with either SNL, Kids in the Hall, the Ben Stiller Show, etc. with all of their other alum doing good guest turns, but so many of the main cast had these ridiculous fates. I guess everyone knew Andy Dick was a nutty creep, but Hartman getting murdered, Foley's horrendous divorce and Rogan's rise to fame, influence and billions of dollars....who would've guessed.

birdistheword, Monday, 25 September 2023 02:55 (eight months ago) link

connections each actor had with either SNL, Kids in the Hall, the Ben Stiller Show

^all those fall under SNL either by SNL itself or Broadway Video

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Monday, 25 September 2023 03:14 (eight months ago) link

Here's something really amazing from Tom Snyder's show from the night after...an excerpt from an earlier interview wherein Hartman explains how easily impressions came to him by demonstrating how he, John Wayne, Jack Benny, and Jack Nicholson have the same voice projected from different places (clip at 2:50)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciDcWCDXxas

The whole original interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thBO3PG5GPQ

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 25 September 2023 04:17 (eight months ago) link

xpost They also had a lot of the Mr. Show cast on, though that’s another SNL connection obv

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Monday, 25 September 2023 12:50 (eight months ago) link

^^Was just thinking thinking of that ep with Odenkirk, Posehn and Cross as Dave's college Acapella group.

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 25 September 2023 22:53 (eight months ago) link

Oh my god, I completely forgot about the thing where Bill McNeal was Mark Russell in the elevator....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FvW66hEjyo

Bonus Early Lauren Graham Action!

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 25 September 2023 22:56 (eight months ago) link

The Dana Carvey & David Spade "Fly On The Wall" pod just dropped two episodes (around 5 hours total) recorded live at The Groundlings' Tribute To Phil.

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 18:17 (eight months ago) link

^^Panel Discussion w/the hosts, Kevin Nealon, Julia Sweeney, and Jim Downey.

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 18:55 (eight months ago) link

Thanks!!!

The Triumphant Return of Bernard & Stubbs (Raymond Cummings), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 19:01 (eight months ago) link

He was a really nice man.

Not many SNL cast members you could say that about.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 19:24 (eight months ago) link

Here's those SNL Change Bank ads with Downey they go on at length about. Hartman's in the second one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXDxNCzUspM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KodqIPMbyUg

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 19:37 (eight months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0w2R2JvZ7U

"She gave me several options"

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 21:07 (eight months ago) link

Here's that hostage sketch Downey was enthusing about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8PLGXHW5gY

and the follow-up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1ZyffcKxu0

an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 21:27 (eight months ago) link


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