Worst TV adverts of the moment

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There was another thread about crap TV ads before this I think, but that was about a year ago, and there are many many new crap ads on the telly now. So let us complain about them.
  1. Bizarre thing for one of those play kitchens for kids - entire advert has two young girls demonstrating what can be done with it, only that the soundtrack has two women dubbed on it saying stuff like "Oh yes, this microwave will really make her jealous!" and "Ha ha, this superb grill will really annoy her, she doesn't have anything like that at her home!". So parents should buy this toy for their kid because it'll one-up all of their kid's poorer friends?
  2. Despicable thing for Gillette. Two standard off the peg blokes watch cheesy Gillette advert in a living room (post-modern!). They complain about how rubbish said advert is, and at the end of it, one of them go, "It's good though, isn't it?" GNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Why don't they just get one of the ad men to come on and go "We think you're all fucking idiots, HAHAHAHAHA!"?
  3. Weird and annoying ad for baby doll with magnets in its limbs or something. I choose this for the incredibly irritating brat on the soundtrack going "bleep bleep" for NO REASON AT ALL.

Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

New answers right after this break...

Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Anything using 9/11 and after to sell products via 'aren't we *wonderful* to help those who need it' approaches.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I've thought of starting this thread myself since there are so many lame ads on but of course all examples have slipped my mind now. damn food.

Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Choices Direct, of course.

Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate the ad where the kid is sitting on the toilet, and realises he's making a bit of a stink and goes "ah mum got that new press thing"...that releases a good smell.

I also dislkie the tooth paste ad that uses MOP's 'cold as ice' and then has the slogan "cool as ice'...I always think, why use that song then? I'm very fussy.

After a night's TV viewing, I shall garnish you with more examples.

james, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Where there's blame, there's a claim.

RickyT, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

WICKEEEEED!! SOOOORRRRTEEEED!! BANGIIIIINNN!! BACK TO THE OLD SKOOOOOOOOL!! (cue Yazz.)

Alternately, that car ad where the teacher yaks on about how she will be there for the kids, doctors deliver babies ect... because Something Inside Is So Strong. So buy a fucking car.

Al, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

All the Red Bull ads. Every single one.

Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

the FedEx one where they poach the ambulance man to work for them is pretty tasteless. i presume it was made for the US originally, where they don't have the NHS which needs all the help it can get

michael, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't like the Orange one with Jason Euell - eventhough he is scoring and celebrating against Arsenal. I hope everybody who watched the Arsenal v Charlton match said the same thing when he scored, namely "I wonder if he's going to run out of the ground and go and find his mate?"

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I really hate that one for Ocean Finance with the smug quiz-show host asking the contestants, "For ten points, tell me a reason why somebody might be.....refused....a loan?" I find it really irritating the way that the word "Advertisement" appears on the screen in the top left hand corner throughout...as if there would ever be a quiz show with questions about loans! Aaargh!

MarkH, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Head and Shoulders advert where the ad agency honestly think the shampoo buying public are going to be duped into believing they're talking about infidelity and shagging when really they're speaking about shampoo. I mean, since when has anyone been "seduced by the novelty" of an alternative hair product? Come on!

The whole Shampoo = sex thing is utterly cringeworthy. The only "urge" I get during the Herbal range ad is to dive for the off button on the TV remote.

[And I wish Jason Euell HAD ran out of the stadium on Wednesday - I would have settled for 4:3]

Trevor, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Halifax one where the woman does a doctored version of 'Livin' la vida loca' *shudders*

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The two blokes watching a Nivea ad in the Nivea ad! Who on earth came up with this? And who on earth paid them to come up with this? Also, there's first love and there's Muller love. The guy eats his yoghurt with a polaroid fer crissakes. Can you imagine the chemical- induced madness that must surely ensue?

Somebody on the best ads thread mentioned the Lupo ads, but the big flashing face that pops up every time you click on *anything* at nme.com is really, really, really, really, really, really, really annoying. Grrr!

Madchen, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The one that gets my goateee is the man who has hung up about ten blue shirts on the clothesline, then reaches into the basket for another blue shirt an sais it's his favorite.Lol He's nuttier than me!!!! lol Gale

Gale Deslongchamps, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Vodafone. The Dandy Warhols. That smug faced curmudgeon bloke who wandered about the desert before they took the next step into hellishness. The crusties. Their adverts when sponsoring POP IDOL with ha ha look it is HAMPSTERS making things BEEP (actually sounds okay) but this is NOT okay when it is advertising their cnutish BRAND NAME WEBSITE of vizzaavviitytytutwankwankwankwankOHPLEASE. They are DOT COMMUNISTS.

Also, Argos.

The Virgin Mobile advert with Nicole Appleton photocopying her knickers is also rather shit but then again they have ADAM AND JOE (!!!!) on another advert so perhaps I'll have to sign up with them. I hate Vodafone. Bastards bastards bastards. Adverts are SO GREAT though, I love adverts. They are often better than the telly.

Sarah, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Hi Sarah! Adverts are better than the programmes that frame them because more time and money went on them!

Wil, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Sponsorship idents: all shit. I only ever watch commercial TV on a saturday morning so that is all I can talk of BUT two stand out for me as Pete can testify:

1. Argos christmas ad using Slade and the cheapest, shittest, most fucking awful bogus product montage ever. Totally moronic, makes all the goods look like the heap of crap they are - when that fucking cut- out Santa comes by on his skis it might as well be Jive Bunny. There's a real trend lately for mass-market store ads to be this low- rent and vile, probably because the ad people all want to work on high-budget drinks brands and actually lavishing any skills on an ad aimed at the proles would be *so* uncool. Or of course it might be that the focus groups saw the ad and wuvved it, grr.

2. Harry Potter computer game - "FOOTAGE NOT IN GAME" i.e. the game itself has graphics that would shame an Oric. Not in itself a terrible ad but seen five times an hour it gets wearying.

Also! "I'd rather have a bowl of caramelflavouredcocopops" and the Olly the Octopus choosing his cereal are vile, the latter because it is untrue - every child knows which are the nice cereals in a variety pack and it's simply a matter of getting to them first, it's not a dilemma at all you eight-limbed sea bastard.

Tom, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'You're every one to one you've ever had' DIE GOLDFRAPP DIE.

alext, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I get so depressed when I watch ads on the smaller channels like ITV2 - they are invariably all for loans for sad, stupid people with no jobs and no money, somehow implying that rather than ending up with even less money and self-esteem, taking out a loan is the key to happiness! Celebs who do voice overs for these kind of ads (and I know the bloke who does that fucking blue telephone - how could he stoop so low?) are, IMHO, worse than those who advertise MacDonalds, Starbucks, any of the mega-corporate Incs that people seem to get so worked up about.

As for the Nivea "you know, I might buy some" ad, you can gain some kind of succour by imaging what he's going to be getting for Christmas from all his hilarious mates...

Mark C, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the parade is offering me many bad ads. the lottery one with a parade of people singing the barenaked ladies' 'if i had a million dollars' is a v bad one.

BUT WAIT NOW THERE IS ONE FOR AMERICA WITH THAT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HERO SONG. oh no wait it's for jeep! jeep LIBERTY, at that!

maura, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

They have a gospel choir in the Lottery ad. Morons should read the bible .

anthony, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I have sky, there's no need to watch adverts.

chris, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Like Samantha, I'm not very good at remembering the ads I hate. I will put a pen and pad by the TV and make a note.

Can I just say that I think the Argos ads are totally wicked.

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That fuckin coke ad. I mentioned it before. The one where the guy is on the train and all his "mates" are asleep and he's drinking a can of coke, and he says "it was the best night of my life". "I was gonna miss these guys". And the way he says "these guys" like as if theres a coloured history, and they're some bunch of mad tossers who do crazy stuff but despite it all he was going to miss them. Oh the things they do! Falling asleep on trains, AND drinking coke.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Argos ads are pitched perfectly at target market = 'good' ads, even though I personally dislike them.

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah - I'm surprised no one has mentioned the horror of the Dorritos 'friends' adverts yet. Has that reached Ferrero Rocher/Alanis Morisette levels of flogged to deathness or something?

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I make conscious efforts not to buy things if I think the ads are stupid. though I fail.

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The smug-faced wankism that is Archers. Stop fucking winking at me you bastard I hate you and will punch you, and oh hahaha isn't it so funny that the girl stays out later than him because she drinks Archers hahaha I bet her and the Lambrini girls love each other the stupid fucking wenches.

emil.y, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Did you say urge? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

george foreman's imac grillpan thing, WHAT THE FUCK IS ThAT!!!! "it's like a grill pan", okay, "it's ridged so you don't get as much fat in your food" riiiight "it's got a pretty coloured lid and it cooks both sides at once" okaaaaaaaaaay "george foreman say's it's really GRATE" WTF, GEORGE FOREMAN, cognitive dissonance, brain MEEEELLLLLTTTIIIINNNGG....

carsmilesteve, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

the RETURN OF THE GRILL-SHILL!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

1 Bacardi Breezer. It is undignified for a cat to be seen behaving like a cheap male nightclub smoothie.

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

Ellie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean GRILL SHILLAZ !!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't stand those crappy Dani Behr McDonalds Premiere advert. They make me want to hurt Dani Behr more than usual.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

helen fordsdale, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

LAMBRINI GIRLS ARGH.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

(though they oppress me from posters not the telly)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Another hated poster ad - what do these people have in common they all drink portugese wine (or something, I do not know what horrible drink they all drink all I know is that it's yet another poster with Tony Parsons gazing at me, best selling author yes)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That German wine ad is shit as well. The one with that ex-goth lass who now is a city worker of some description and has noticed the wine changing with her. I am also dismayed by by the cheesiness of that Hardys ad with the bottle making an impression on the car, hur-hur- hur. Are all wine adverts rubbish by law or something? I can't think of a single good one off the top of my head.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ah now whot about the S. African wines one dominating the Northern/Victoria lines? With the funny reptile lying back in a tshirt with the S.African flag on it? Ha ha that is funny ha ha ha fetch me a bottle! As long as I can smash it OVER MY OWN HEAD argh. Tube adverts surely don't count. I still want to know why they are all so crap for car insurance (if yer on the tube = good chance you don't drive and not target demographic SURELY) and LET YER BODY KNOW WHEN TO CONCIEVE helff fads. Sheesh.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I have never seen a wine ad except 'le francais adore Le Piat D'or' which I doubt even counts as wine. Is wine advertising targeted at the metropolis, or have I missed my demographic?

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"In France it's part of the language" => very very very angry RickyT shouting at television.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Spitfire Ale is even worse though.

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'I AM DRUG FREE' screams trophy winning golfer.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Are any of the common ads on the tube any good? Travel insurance = shit, cheap phone calls = shit, wellwoman pills = very smug detoxified woman therefore shit, cartoon strip style loan ads = even shitter, car insurance ads = dreadful with particular brickbats going to Diamond (car insurance for girls NOT men) and Admiral (Tim and whatserface 'soap opera' type affair only the fuckers can't even be bothered to use the same models from episode to episode) and as pointed out above why do I want car insurance when I'm on the sodding TRAIN anyway?

Must. Calm. Down.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Scientology helped me become a successful photographer', yes yes but it also made you look like Greg Evigan.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Sorry John, try as hard as you like, Diamond is only for women'

John is a c**t.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I am a Planet Talker. It is you who are mad.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"You know what I'm like with shoes! Anyway, today's paaaaaaaaaaaaayday." Lock the bitch up.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I've just remembered I have to turn away when that drink ad with the piano playing dog appears. It really freaks me out. I hate that dog.

Lambrini girls are classic. As David Bell, chief executive of Cheetham Bell JWT, which devised the campaign said:

"It is a drink for salt-of-the-earth girls to drink before they go out, maybe while chatting or putting their make-up on. While they do that, they probably crack jokes about their boyfriends. I've never heard of any men being offended by these ads. They're quite clearly just a bit of fun.'

Who'd have thought that one day computers would allow us to watch adverts at work

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"At the link it's eeeezzeeee...." Interminably dull. Young lady trades in her "embarassing mobile phone" cuz it doesn't play the latest blingin' tunes, to the accompaniment of the blandest sub-Shed Seven dirge imaginable.

Millions of years of evolution and THIS is what they expect us to aspire to.

Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'You don't have to be wild and wacky to enjoy Lambrini, but it helps!"
You don't have to be wild and wacky at all! JUST GO AWAY.

will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The anthropomorphized dog works on teh same principle as the Breezer cat. I mind less about the dog because dogs have less dignity to be besmirched. It's also the same principle as those creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

And the dog doesn't cheer Arsenal on in a penalty shoot out. Oooh, I hate that cat.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I was going to mention that unbelievably smug couple on the car insurance adverts I loathe them and don't care about their stupid fictional relationship dramas. If they really had such a petrfect relationship surely they would talk about something else other than bloody car insurance? Click here and fly to Canada - oh fine, just need a spare £600 quid too at their prices. And on the escalators: Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! And all TV Asda adverts.

Anna, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I flew to Canada (Toronto) to for £224 return with that company so I think they're ace.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Anna - that AA couple aren't smug! They're miserable and fractious and a chilling emblem of our times.

I LOVE the Link advert, but I'm prepared to accept it's for similar "ah - a good old fashioned cheery crappy ad" reasons as my fondness for the never updated Argos campaign.

creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ooh yes - that's the original 'I have to change channels cause this makes me nauseous' ad. Apparently Madchen's gran loves it cause it reminds her of Madchen's dad at a similar age.

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

so am i weird for collecting the admiral insurance ads from the tube. bless them, they saved £££s.

Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"I LOVE the Link advert"

Pervert.

Actually, this reminds me of a girl I used to know who said she loved dentist drills.

Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Boddingtons ones with the transgender cow on the pull. AAAAAGH.

Any ad where the magic of Animatronics allows toddlers or animals to SPEAK. GRRRRRR!

Any ad on Channel 5 which shows exactly what media buyers think of the viewers, eg debt ones, dial LAWYERS ones, old folks' maladies and life insurance ones. All the most awfyul American imports of the ages in one break from Family Affairs omnibus when I am hung over and de-motivated. SCREEEEEE!

suzy, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Stupid Currys advert where they deliver a new telly to the woman who used to be Viv's mate on Emmerdale on a SUNDAY, shock horror, while her useless hubby is asleep in an armchair, and the delivery men say 'shall we take the old thing away' and she says 'no let him sleep it is Sunday after all'.

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

Emma, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Boddingtons transgender cow = GRATE esp. first ep when girl-girl fellatio-facial is somehow implied k-blimey oreillyXoR who approved THAT!!

mark s, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm sort of chums with the bloke in the new Wrigleys adverts - the one who smashes sandwiches and cream cakes with a massive packet of Orbit or whatever. These ads = classic or dud? particularly compared to the meta-cheesy "she's love your onion breath" ads of youre?

Mark C, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

They remind me of the last series of Takeover TV = they are rather poor.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

There are many ambiguous things they could ask that would be better than 'shall I take the old thing away?'. How about 'shall I take this old pile of shit away?' or 'this isn't much use to you know - shall I take it away?' or 'do you want me to get rid of your husband?' ('husband' is slang for TV set in Berkshire)

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

They're absolute dud Mark. They're obviously based on Trigger Happy TV: problem here being that most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it" so Orbit = WRONG! I also hate that ICE advert where the chap goes through an airport security thing and gets a lady guard to strip him down URGH. Please. Smug self-satisfied wankXoR. Oh god I can go home in ten minutes. Pleeeeeeease hurry up. I shall keep an eye out for Mark @ Embankment tube also but considering he has just posted I thinks I will probably not be seeing him there.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Aargh, thinko. I meant Trigger Happy not Takeover above.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it"
I think you are deliberately misunderstanding the process by which advertising works.

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

McDonalds ad...grumpy sister comes in, "what's wrong?" asks little brother..."nothing"...little brother raids money box, takes out his LAST £2!...Goes to McDonalds and buys her a happy meal.

What kinda of messed up message is this? Blowing your last two quid on a happy meal for someone else? I mean the kid could have at least had got his dad to pay for it! (you get the thanks without incurring financial hardship = crafty!)

james, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"Mervyn's-it begins with me!" Die, Mervyn's Lady, die!

Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The new one for Chrysler using "the Universal" (one of the only truly lovely Blur songs! Curse Kojack Albarn and his Freddy Krueger dreams of world domination). It shows these Chrysler execs (designers, I suppose) getting all misty eyed about the thought of their beloved children, the cars, having to go out into the cruel world without them (hence the "Just Let Them Go" refrain from the song).

Chrysler is one of company's clients, and believe me the only thing any of them would ever get misty eyed about is the idea of spending an extra dime. If they could make a crappy car out of nerf and sell it for a profit they would.

Also, Maura's Chrysler ad is really bad as well. Someone shoot their ad agency.

I don't have anything against Chrysler really, but their commercials are bad. BMW are 100 times worse to deal with as a client but their commercials are clever.

Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes! I hate that Chrysler one too. I think that they *should* build that NERF car tho.

Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Nerf is kewl, but what I meant is something that is cheap to manufacture and will probably come apart pretty easily. Kind of like that old "Adobe Car" skit on Saturday Night Live.

Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh god, that "Universal" ad. I did randomly stumble across that one and I LARFED. Damon being the good communist that he is, I'm sure he turned over the money for the cause. Or did he stop being a communist?

Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That hair plug fund money has to be generated somehow.

Nicole, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Nicole :
What do you do ?

anthonyeaston, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Jeep ad which has it driving up and down the statue of liberty while some patriotic song plays in the background. could they be anymore obvious with their (bad) exploitation of current events?

Samantha, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The ad whick compares car swapping to wife swapping. Amazingly dirty & disturbing for network tv.

Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

one year passes...
That 'Hard nosed businessman' Stephen Fry narrated Orange campaign. Utterly crass, stretched from an idea with no mileage in it whatsoever. What were they thinking?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Aw Nick you are too hard! I think that one's quite funny - I like the guy bossing his son around on the beach.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:10 (sixteen years ago) link

his son should have a little metal nose.

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:11 (sixteen years ago) link

But how does the steel-nosed businessman supposed to appeal to us or fit in with anything they are trying to convey about Orange?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:13 (sixteen years ago) link

So...are you gellin'?

Are you gellin' like a felon?

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:21 (sixteen years ago) link

does = is

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

S'all about being available all the time, N. And being ordered. And cutting costs. It will appeal to your average city wanker type. I know - I work with enough of them.

SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:47 (sixteen years ago) link

The cunts in the Direct line ad win this every time. There relationship must be the most sexless, depressing, denial-laden relationship ever.

Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

But yr city wanker type doesn't want to be cuddly-caricatured by sodding Stephen Fry, surely? And the rest of us just think 'Errgh - mobile phones are for wankers after all. We were right in 1987.'.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:14 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
the new 'whens-a your-a Dolmio day?' featuring those actually quite well made puppets...backward step in Anglo-Italin relations or a cuddly tribute to the nuances of our pasta-munching cousins?

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:28 (fifteen years ago) link

six months pass...
So yeah, apart from the Clairol Fruit Essences one with the crappy monkeys, the one I have to turn over for at the moment is the '"I wish I were a blue whale" Strongbow one. Does anyone else find it excruciating. That man is so objectionable and the whole concept of the ad is so shit. Strongbow ads are always rubbish. I hate the world of cider drinkers they depict.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:32 (fifteen years ago) link

At the moment the Toucan "last phone call" ads are driving me bonkers. Cause they show them CONSTANTLY during CSI.

Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:34 (fifteen years ago) link

The Clairol one is crap because it starts off as a generic "let's (almost) show a nice looking woman's tits" advert and ends with this jarring Godardian jumpcut to a pair of unfunny monkeys

Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:35 (fifteen years ago) link

Those fucking adverts with Craig Thingy from the Royle Family - where he does the "I ran into an old friend" joke - a joke which was actually discovered in Tutankhamun's tomb except there it was about chariots. And that gormless Terry Fuckwit routine he does is almost as ancient.

Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:38 (fifteen years ago) link

Hard to think of a really atrociously bad current advert which doesn't involve Johnny Vaughan or Dougie Donnelly.

Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:44 (fifteen years ago) link

"Maybe it's because I'm a drug dealer
That I've got a career in the media"

Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:45 (fifteen years ago) link

the latest abhorrent ad trend: slogans that are meant to sound like realpeoplespeak ("i'm lovin' it"*; "you should see what's on hgtv"**; "very funny"***; "you should go"****). ugh, stop trying to relate! i hate you.


*mcdonald's
**hgtv (home & garden television)
***tbs (the turner superstation)
****t.j. maxx

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:51 (fifteen years ago) link

also, dunno if it's just a local thing, but the "man on the street"-style 1-800-MATTRESS commercial with the trio of accenty longislandistas singing the jingle off-key... it's gotta go.

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:57 (fifteen years ago) link

the...lenny...kravitz...gap...ad...

Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:58 (fifteen years ago) link

"they're just a kid... eatin' a drumstick... like YOU used to be."

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:02 (fifteen years ago) link

"your website would be the bomb if the gecko did the robot."

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:05 (fifteen years ago) link

Marcello so on the money he should be the queen. And Sarah Jessica Fucking Horsefaced Harpy Parker as well! Infamy!

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Also, Smirnoff ice or whatever and their lyriquid perfection shit. Only gaked-up ad wankers could actually watch the Niccan Micra spafe abomination and think "yeah, let's rip that off".

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:42 (fifteen years ago) link

"di saronno on the rocks." (woman gives come-hither look to metrosexual bartender.)

"di saronno on the rocks." (metrosexual bartender gives come-fuck-me look to woman.)

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Quote. Me. Happy.

Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:53 (fifteen years ago) link

is that ridiculous Head & Shoulders advert where the man won't let his gf use his manky cheap dandruff shampoo still showing?

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:58 (fifteen years ago) link

The man in that advert is *so* in-the-closet.

"She even steals my rubber duckie ... but there's one thing I won't let her touch. Some things are just made for a man."

(plus, he looks like Will Young)

caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:59 (fifteen years ago) link

He's in another advert too, not as crap but still crap

Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 11:00 (fifteen years ago) link

"your website would be the bomb if the gecko did the robot."

But thats a good commercial.

Mari Schwarz, Friday, 1 October 2004 11:01 (fifteen years ago) link

when are they going to do a new 'friendly bacteria' advert - is the geek going to get in her pants?

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:12 (fifteen years ago) link

Will she use the friendly bacteria as a homemade thrush cure first? ;-)

Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:14 (fifteen years ago) link

why the wink?

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Because I am making a funny.

Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:38 (fifteen years ago) link

is the gecko ad referenced a geico ad? those are the only ads on tv I like!

still, that sprint or whatever ad, "this is the story about my life made by me" video phone crooked mouthed girl partying with her friends and getting it on with keanu-lite. makes me violent.

kyle (akmonday), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:44 (fifteen years ago) link

(a friend of mine has just auditioned for the next run of "friendly bacteria" ads - if she gets the gig she'll be bacteria-girl's best friend. So have no fear, Bacteria-man will be back!)

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:11 (fifteen years ago) link

Rock-ET! Rock-ET!

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:13 (fifteen years ago) link

RADDICCIO RADDICCIO RADDICCIO!!!

You're mad, that advert is aceness incarnate.

Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Those 'frizee frizee' guys are so gay.

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:19 (fifteen years ago) link

I do kind of like how the rocket lot are the hardest, though. I love rocket.

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:25 (fifteen years ago) link

i have no idea what most of you are on about as i don't watch much TV at all anymore which is surely a good thing

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:41 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't watch the Cadbury's ones with the talking sheep.

Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:50 (fifteen years ago) link

Me neither, Cathy. They do my head in. They are totally unfunny and meaningless.

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:58 (fifteen years ago) link

My flamate laughs a lot at the Co-op sheep too.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:28 (fifteen years ago) link

isn't it Woolworths?

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:42 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't know, perhaps there are a lot of talking and singing sheep at the moment. Perhaps they're the latest monkeys. But the one I'm talking about it definitely Co-op. They're throwing all the GM products and additives out of the shop, with pigs. Actually, the pigs are all right.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:44 (fifteen years ago) link

That bacterial woman used to drink in the Phoenix a lot around the time when I was drinking in the Phoenix a lot and, for that matter, drinking a lot in the Phoenix

Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:46 (fifteen years ago) link

rock and roll pigs!

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:47 (fifteen years ago) link

The Post Office one where the child-ants play at having road rage makes me lose the will to live.

Adam Faithless (Adam Faithless), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

The Red Bull ads have been the worst on TV for at least five years.

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Vernon Kay .............................. need I elaborate?

Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

That ad is awesome!

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Except it makes me sad that Girls & Boys was cancelled.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:23 (fifteen years ago) link

You're very strange.

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:26 (fifteen years ago) link

You mean the one where he says, "I love a Brazilian, me" - have you taken leave of your senses sir!!!!!!!!

Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

It's only a bit of fun!

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:28 (fifteen years ago) link

It's PURE EVIL

Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:29 (fifteen years ago) link

That's what Hitler said.

xpost

Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:29 (fifteen years ago) link

that mcdonald's (i think) ad where the dudes are playing poker with french fries really makes me cringe. something about that winning player's gestures and expressions really hurts me physically to watch.

andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

"HAVE BREAKFAST WITH THE KING"

Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh! That Timotei advert where the naked girl has stolen the guys towel (just recently washed), and his shirt, but she can't get her hands on his timotei. I hate these couples that are so comfortable with each other that they can walk around naked all the time.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

That's quite normal, jel.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:58 (fifteen years ago) link

OK, not 'all the time'.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:58 (fifteen years ago) link

I know, but I'm really pleased clothes were invented.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Anyway, that's the Head & Shoulders one I already mentioned, isn't it? Not Timotei.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh yeah! See, I couldn't remember the product!

Sorry N.

Sorry Timotei.

I don't like that new Calvin Klien cinema ad, which goes on about not showwing logos and slogans. I am assuming it's Calvin Klien, it could be Kellogs for all I know.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Yes, that one is awful. I'd forgotten it.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I thought it was French Connection, to be honest. Do we know who it is?

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:06 (fifteen years ago) link

O NO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT TEH GUERILLA ADVERTISING!!!!!!1!

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Fool!

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:07 (fifteen years ago) link

who fives a FCUK!

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:08 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm not allowed to correct typos anymore.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:09 (fifteen years ago) link

(I love to picture the advertising execs cackling from on high "HA HA! See how we have swallowed you up and spewed you out as a killer campaign, Naomi!")

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:09 (fifteen years ago) link

However, we can counter their fiendish tactics by only buying products from Jigsaw, or Donna Karan, or Nabisco! We cannot be outfoxxed!

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:13 (fifteen years ago) link

There's one for deoderant where the couple (in immaculate white underwear) chase each other around the house pretending to spray each other.

Why don't my boyfriend and I do that? It looks like so much FUN. Mind you, who sprays on deoderant in their bra?

Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:13 (fifteen years ago) link

If you set alight to the can it's even more fun.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:14 (fifteen years ago) link

And the 118 runners should be confined to history now. I can not abide their wackiness any longer.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:16 (fifteen years ago) link

What about that shit one for retractable awnings? WTF? It's always on in the afternoon along with the conservatory blinds ones.

Remember the Oreck vacuum cleaner? "I can hold a bowling ball above my head with the powerful suction" - Quick! Switch off the power!

Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:27 (fifteen years ago) link

In that Head and Shoulders ad I keep on imagining the guy saying

"But there's one thing I wont let her touch, MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!"

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link

You know when the guys have a fenderbender, and then the guy is suspiciously happy, and the one guy says to the other guy: "You gellin'?" And the guy nods and says "Like Magellen." They mean Magellen the explorer? Was he famous for gellin'? WHAT THE FUCK.

It's entirely possible that this is discussed upthread, but I became infuriated after just a handful of posts here, because they were making me think of brutal ads, and had to skip straight to the bottom.

Taxi Dancing in the Soft Prison (Ben Boyer), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:20 (fifteen years ago) link

I too loathe the "gellin'" ad.

But the one that's especially givin' me a headache these days -- played often on CNN and MSNBC (which we have our sets glued to here at the office) is one of IHOP's spicy popcorn shrip. The scenario is a popcorn-shrimp obsessed gym instructor who's strenuously leading his class through some shrimp-centric excercises while bemused muscleheads look on. What makes it so irritating is the instructor's SHRILL fuckin' castigations: "TAKE IT, AND DIP IT, AND DUNK IT, OOOOH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT AND DIP IT...!" It's exceptionally migraine-inducing.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 2 October 2004 04:27 (fifteen years ago) link

(Okay, stepping slowly away from Alex here....)

I totally hate the Sears ad campaign starring Ty Pennington. I mean, not only is Ty Pennington one of the butt-ugliest guys ever to walk this planet, but the whole of the ad campaign is uselessly stereotypical and pro-breeder. Which is a shame because I actually really like Sears (i.e. my "high end" clothing store), but hey, I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws and a man ogling the selection of dress slacks, end of ad. No kids. And no Ty Pennington.

Ever-Ready Daisy Chain (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 2 October 2004 05:15 (fifteen years ago) link

Also on my "I can't believe they expect me to choke this down" list:

The Nutri-Grain fruit bar commercial with the moving signs. You know a commercial has failed miserably when it compels you to turn the channel at the moment you see it start to come on.

The McDonald's chicken selects commercials. i.e., "Making Paranoid Schizophrenia Marketable 101"!

Any Total cereal commerical. "Provides you with 100% of the recommended daily amount of [x number of] vitamins and minerals in one bowl!" Um, have these people heard of the concept of THREE MEALS A DAY? Unless all you're going to be eating throughout the day is that one lousy bowl of cereal (in which case, wise nutritional choices are not going to be the strongest of your suits), you don't NEED to worry about getting ALL of the RDA of ANY of the vitamins and minerals recommended for keeping up a healthy diet!

Ever-Ready Daisy Chain (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 2 October 2004 05:25 (fifteen years ago) link

Any commercial where someone goes through a fast-food drive-thru and makes fun of the teenaged kid making $5 an hour on the other side of the mic. Hey, asshole, did you really think that you were going to get a deli sub at fucking Jack in the Box? I hope Jared chokes to death on one of those cardboard Subway sandwiches.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 2 October 2004 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link

i can't believe no-one's mentioned that c*$t michael winner's ad for whatever it is with that stupid bimbo saying "i'm not your sister dummy" when HE'S NOT EVEN SAYING SHE IS! and even more excruciatingly horrific is the follow up where an actual family are copying aforementioned ad and saying to each other "hello mum!" and guffawing like it's some kind of cult ad that has the whole country running around like twats impersonating michael winner and stupid bimbo. god, maybe i just don't get it.

trix, Saturday, 2 October 2004 21:28 (fifteen years ago) link

Calm down dear, it's a commercial.

Michael Winner, Saturday, 2 October 2004 22:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh my DAYS! I can't work out whether that new Honda ad is genius or just insanity or just awful. All I know that after eating some Thai shrooms on Saturday night and having a bunch of rabbits firing multicoloured stars out of cannons to spell the word "HATE" appear on my screen nearly made my head explode.

There's some other car advert with a bunch of tortoises crawling along - what's that about? Is it saying there car is durable but slow as fuck?

dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 3 October 2004 23:52 (fifteen years ago) link

I used to love the cleverness of TV ads, but now it seems the only message is "Our product is so awesome it will make you act like the biggest asshole on the planet. You won't even be able to control yourself — how awesome is that! Buy it!" The shoe commercial where the guy loves running so much he runs all over people in the park, including stomping on the spread at the picnic table, was the last straw. It really pissed me off that it was set to a great Kinks song, too.

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 4 October 2004 02:12 (fifteen years ago) link

Honda ad = k-great, Dogg. They're the best advertisers by a country mile at the moment.

I haven't seen this follow-up Michael Winner ad. FWIW, First Alternative refused to insure me because I work in television. Cunts.

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 11:53 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/pwo0008l.jpg

RJG (RJG), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Has no-one mentioned the soulful KFC ad? It'll turn you black!

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:05 (fifteen years ago) link

good choices of music, which i don't really have a problem with (if you're fickle enough to be sold a product because of the song then you deserve to waste your money on said product haha)

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:07 (fifteen years ago) link

James Nesbitt

Didoismus (Dada), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:08 (fifteen years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.
-- Jonnie (jonnienumber...) (webmail), November 22nd, 2001. (link)


The current one. Where some perfectly normal folk are settling into their sleeping bunk seat thingys, nods/smiles around. And they get to their destination the next morning, and all have turned into plastic supermodel types. The blokes also. And 'Alice Cooper' at the end, supposedly, too. Except it wasn't him in the first place but a younger version. (Maybe he took an earlie flight and had two regenerations like Dr. Who)

ANYWAY!!! PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE! AND SO THEY SHOULD BE!

(agreed re the KFC ads. They are fine. You can like the music and ignore the product.)

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:08 (fifteen years ago) link

what's happened to Jon Hannah?

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:09 (fifteen years ago) link

James Nesbitt killed him

Didoismus (Dada), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:12 (fifteen years ago) link

The Sterling furniture ad with Dougie Donnelly in full period costume is the best thing in the world ever. He should wear it on grandstand!

What I hate is that Kodak one with the smug voiceover guy saying how much "we miss real pictures, and we want them back!" Who the fuck are 'we'? Do they think we're going to believe this smoothe-voiced meeja cunt is speaking on OUR behalf? Fuck him! And fuck YOU Kodak!

And another thing about the Head and Shoulders advert: it doesn't make any fucking sense! If, as it points out, she has no problem wearing his aftershave, why is she suddenly unable to touch his shampoo just because it has the word 'men' on it? Aftershave is for men and that didn't stop her! I think they should go the whole hog and call it "Womanthrax." That'll stop the klepto-bitch from touching it.

strophic (strophic), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:53 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws

hell yeah! but she'd have to have the manly man power-tool salesdude making untoward comments and trying to scam her into buying something more expensive.

pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 05:00 (fifteen years ago) link

He's stopping her, she wants the manly Head and Shoulders but its "just for a man" because scientists recently worked out some way of making soapless detergent gender specific, didn't you see it in the news?

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 11:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Did they put Yorkie in it?

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 11:55 (fifteen years ago) link

It uses the same secret method od gender specialisation as Nestle use for Yorkie.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Somehow I don't think Dougie Donnelly in full Napoleonic regalia would be quite conducive to the cheery atmosphere of the Northern Counties Bowls Championship Semi-Finals live from the Lakeside Inn, Kendal...

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:07 (fifteen years ago) link

That road safety "Don't Die Before You've Lived" ad also annoys me - the one with the teenage model showing us around her palatial home, OK-style, before the jumpcut to same girl in school uniform getting flattened by a car.

It's not so much the ad itself which annoys me but the fact that they're doing another one with...wait for it...Johnny Vaughan. Unfortunately I suspect he won't the one who gets hit by the car, followed by the slogan "Should Have Happened Ten Years Ago."

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Johnny Vaughan getting hit by a car ten years ago = no occupation of Iraq. think about it...

Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:17 (fifteen years ago) link

I think I would be encouraged to enter that Nescafe competition if, in addition to having £100 shoved through my letterbox every day for a year, I was awarded the chance to torture Johnny Vaughan in different ways every day for a year.

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:21 (fifteen years ago) link

Every time I see a new Old Navy ad I want to smash my TV to pieces. (Also the creators of said ad.) I really want to who the hell thought an ad about a girl who suddenly screams out her love for history was a good idea??

Vinnie (vprabhu), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link

That commercial where the cranky old men sit in front of old war photographs of John Kerry and bitch, bitch, bitch about something or anouther.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:28 (fifteen years ago) link

those new six flags are pretty disturbing. i never thought the best way to pack the theme parks was with some crazy person made up to look like an old man cabbage patching to the 'venga bus.'

still bevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

I just saw an ad for washing-up liquid that featured the line "limes are nature's cleansers"!

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:36 (fifteen years ago) link

They are good at cleansing scurvy.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link

And you feel refreshingly sticky after washing all over with them.

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

five months pass...
three words: Pot Noodle Horn

koogs (koogs), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Disagree. When he smacks the woman in the face with his enormous pant protuberance it's pure, unfettered visual comedy.

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:25 (fourteen years ago) link

"Did you see that puff?"

Oral B Brush Ups - Rip, Slip, Brush....ARGH!

koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 15:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Yakult with the nerds in y-fronts, friendly bacteria and supposedly foxy women. I just don't get it.

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:11 (fourteen years ago) link

the best bit in the pot noodle horn ad is when he knocks over the decks, i don't know why. i find it hilarious.

pete b. (pete b.), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:12 (fourteen years ago) link

The Burger King ads featuring this guy:
http://www.npr.org/business/images/graphics/burgerking_200.jpg
CREEPY

Dan M. (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:21 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh god, there's one that makes me practically gnash my teeth with rage every time it comes on (in fact it was on last night) but now I can't remember what it is. Gah. I'm sure it will come back to me.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:41 (fourteen years ago) link

Bluescope Steel has a jingle that's (a) annoying as all fuck; (b) has nothing to do with steel.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:45 (fourteen years ago) link

The Mercedes A Class advert, nice music, but what a horrible ad - guy stressing at work all day then getting into his car.

I don't understand it, he's obviously on the verge of some kind of breakdown, and no wonder being in a job like that just so he can afford the car? I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

Rumpie, Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:55 (fourteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

KILL ME NOW

sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:01 (fourteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

No, this is genius!

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Cocking Toucan. OK, so the ads announce the return of lovely lovely CSI after the break, but ARRRRRRGH. "I'm looking forward to meeting you, detective." Why don't they just use the "I can smell your ****" line from Silence of the Lambs and be done with it?

Haha those Michael Winner ads have gone beyond the annoyance horizon and now I just chuckle weakly and sip more gin.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (fourteen years ago) link

since we see loads of films with our unlimited cards, toby and i end up sitting through the commercials way too much to enjoy. he REALLY hates two or three of them, but several are older so we figured they were gone for good.

last night, i was laughing out loud because it was like they'd set up the commercials just to make toby swear at the screen (1st the levis gang/shakespeare ad, 2nd the san miguel 'you know ines de cortes?!' ad, 3rd the toyota 'he stole my car!!' ad, and followed up by the orange board with daryl hannah 'you're a idiot')

i said that was such a bad sign that we should just leave before the movie started (especially when they previewed 9 songs again. ugh). i was right, turns out.

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Aw, I like the Orange cinema ads, even though it makes me squirm slightly that they are so precision-engineered.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, Toucan are starting to wear really, *really* thin. Because they NEVER CHANGE THEM!!! Not only that, but they never change the order. So you can TELL by whether it's "I prefer the phone..." (just starting) or "Believed to reside in apartment 214 (eighth floor)" or "I'm jet lagged..." (underlines LONG DISTANCE) where exactly in the programme you are.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (fourteen years ago) link

Obviously I need to start drinking gin.
Or stop watching TV....no, drinking gin.

sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm not sure whether the

HI! BARRY SCOTT HERE!

Sillit Bang adverts are accidentally terrible or purposefully awful.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:11 (fourteen years ago) link

I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

Bet it has a catalytic converter, thereby rumbling his game.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:14 (fourteen years ago) link

I still find Michael Winner hilarious.

However, I find the Joanna Lumley "You don't have to be posh to be privileged" the most hillarious at all. The amusement never wears off, no matter how many times I see them. (Though I'm glad that there's another in the series now.)

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Those Cillit Bang adverts are terrifying. Who the fuck is Barry Scott? And why is he shouting at us?

Everyone, quite, rightly has been mentioning their hatred for Johnny Vaughan's hateful smugness, but, unless I've missed it, nobody's missed the ad's where he takes that to it's logical extreme. Yes, the Nuts adverts! Some busty blonde babe haplessly tries to change a tyre, while her ordinary bloke boyf is engrossed in a copy of Nuts. To make things worse, Vaughan pipes up in the most condescending voice possible and scoffs, "Women, don't expect any help on a Thursday!". The emphasis he puts on "women" wiii-men-ah is all the more horrid. Not only are these adverts shockingly sexist, they're patronising to both sexes. As if men would be stupid enough to be lost in the pages of Nuts. Oh yeah...

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:22 (fourteen years ago) link

That Carlsberg ad with the ordinary geezers (interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes) getting a Chinese meal. What ill conceived orientalist claptrap!

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Nuts seems to be selling reasonably well tho...

xpost

Sven Basted (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Nuts is indeed selling weel, hence the "oh yeah..." I see loads of people reading it on the train or bus. I suppose that's its trick - the short articles, lots of pics and eye grabbing content, nothing too demanding.

Sorry, on a bit of a rant here, but just remembered the ad from a couple of years back that was based on middle class school run one upmanship. What was even worse was the one upmanship wasn't depicted through the adults but the kids. Absolutely disgusting. Capitalism will destroy your soul!

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:30 (fourteen years ago) link

The toucan adverts rile, yes.

similar are the Vodafone gossiping over the fence ads they have on T4. they just seem very female-aimed but go out during very male-targetted programming (is it Enterprise?).

koogs (koogs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:48 (fourteen years ago) link

I love Barry Scott. He's like a character from Dare To Believe.

A possible clue to the Scott conundrum is the second ad, which implies he actually MAKES Cillit Bang. This might explain why we've never seen him before, and his peculiar on-camera personality.

Philip Alderman (Phil A), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:57 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.cillitbang.co.uk/images/home_promo_left.jpg

lock robster (robster), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I just love the colours of the cillit bang ads. They've clearly done their market research about what colours (purple and fuschia) appeal most to womens. (Or was it little girls that prefered purple?)

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Vanish are totally trying to out-manic Cillit BANG! at the moment, with their shocking pink and high-NRG ads.

Haha, oh something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:51 (fourteen years ago) link

at least it's not a case of product placement in the show itself

$V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:54 (fourteen years ago) link

The orange ads are fantastic, particularly the one where they give Spike Lee a baseball cap to wear.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:59 (fourteen years ago) link

No, no, Vanish feature those horrible pushy ladies in pink shellsuits assaulting people with dirt and I don't like it.

Cillit bang adverts show DEFACEMENT OF THE COIN OF THE REALM!!! and therefore is subversivly cool.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:01 (fourteen years ago) link

something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons, around Countdown. Nothing but adverts for loan consolidation companies, ambulance-chasing solicitors, or devices to help you get out of the bath easier.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:23 (fourteen years ago) link

some of the orange ads are funny (and i still laugh at the 'bob's your uncle' bit the american guy doesn't get), but the one with daryl hannah is just SO BAD and NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

perhaps because she's a crap actress, dunno.

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:28 (fourteen years ago) link

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer.

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:35 (fourteen years ago) link

the one with the squeaky voiced chick ringtone thing. even worse than Crazy Frog.

$V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:39 (fourteen years ago) link

DON'T DISRESPECT THE FROG!

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:41 (fourteen years ago) link

No. Kill him instead.

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:42 (fourteen years ago) link

At least they blackbarred out his wee willie.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:43 (fourteen years ago) link

I may be small,
I may be sweet,
But baby - I know how to move my feet.

Every time I hear the beat,
I just have to move my feet,
And it makes me wanna tweet,
TWEET-TWEET TWEET TWEET-TWEET-TWEET!

(or something)

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:51 (fourteen years ago) link

Is it wrong to say that I think Canesten would do a lot better if their slogan was "Itchy twat? - Try that!"

Alix with an I ? (alix), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:54 (fourteen years ago) link

They need a new name that, like Anusol, describes the area of application. "Vageze", maybe. "Cervicon" (too like a Dr Who enemy?).

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link

"No need to scratch your snatch with...."

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:03 (fourteen years ago) link

it's all about your daily digestive transit, and filling up your handbag with food, and then emptying it (which = VOMIT) at the end of the day.

or have we done that one?

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:05 (fourteen years ago) link

I especially like when they show that handbag one during "You Are What You Eat"!

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:07 (fourteen years ago) link

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer

I love these too, especially the one with the megaphones.

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:08 (fourteen years ago) link

You are (an) alien

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:10 (fourteen years ago) link

The perfect advert would bring Michael Winner (and his mouse) into the Phones 4 U megaphone conversation which is interrupted by his Tweety the Chick ringtone.

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Work that horrible More Than dog, Lucky, in there, and you got a winner.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:16 (fourteen years ago) link

the wire shd put crazxy frog on the cover

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:21 (fourteen years ago) link

With blacked-out winky or in full glory?

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Wire wold do something clever and graphical to the winky not merely black it out - there'd be stroppy letters to the editor otherwise

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Ah, but you're missing the best of all. 6Music now publicise themselves with an advert of Lammo. Lammo walks into 6Music with his record box. Lammo goes into the studio, puts a CD in the player (TKO by Le Tigre, I think), then sits grimly nodding along to it ENTIRELY ON HIS OWN. The advert closes with a shot of Lammo nodding along, entirely out of time, on his own, not smiling, and makes me realise that my teenage years really were a bit of a waste of time.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh god, that ad genuinely terrified me the other night - Lamacq shuffles through shot not showing his face, shuffles about a bit more. Shot of record box. Shot of TERRIFYING DESSICATED STEVE REARING UP LIKE A HORSE'S SKELETON AND OH GOD WHAT IS HE SMILING? Eurgh, *shudder*. Give that man a pie.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:37 (fourteen years ago) link

His voice makes me ill

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:41 (fourteen years ago) link

That Levi Shakespeare ad is not only annoying, but I think it totally misreads S as well. Isn't it from Midsummer Night's Dream where the dialog's taken from? With the girl being Titania and the bloke with the jeans being Bottom? In which case, are they saying that you'd only wear these jeans if you've had an evil spell cast on you, and ladies, only witchcraft will stop you finding people wearing these jeans repulsive?

Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:42 (fourteen years ago) link

It's telling you your Bottom will look good in these jeans

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:45 (fourteen years ago) link

I hate that McDonalds one on at the moment with somebody talking about some special offer on in an 'amusing' 'foreign' accent, before eventually and inevitably finishing up "ba-da-ba-bah, I'm lovin' it". What the fuck kind of accent is it supposed to be? It seems to travel through Eastern Europe, up to Scandinavia, before alarmingly settling on Martin McGuiness.

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 19:38 (fourteen years ago) link

I like to think I'm partially responsible for the blacked out schlong in the Crazy Frog advert. Being the Old (before my time) man that I am, I complained to the Advertising Standards Agency. I was trying to get the ad banned cos, to be honest, it's the ring tone that pisses me off, not the winkie (though it was the last thing I wanted to see on a sunday morning with a hangover. The ASA told me 60 people complained, but it had not been upheld. Then, the ad appeared with the blacked out winkie! So I'm taking it as a victory. Go on, complain, the system works!

Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link

I hate the ringtone, but to be honest the blacked-out-crazed-frog penis just adds insult to injury. Not that I have a strong desire to see animated frog genitalia, but it seems to be saying TEH MAN has deigned to spare us from offence by blacking out the previously unnoticed amphibian cock when all along it was the fucking noise that was driving everyone mad.

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link

I know. It was pretty disappointing. When I saw that blacked out cock I thought "That's probably just going to make it even more cool and popular." Urgh. But the cock wasn't unnoticed, it bothered the hell out of me. But I still have to change the channel when the advert comes on, so it didn't really help anything. :(

Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:19 (fourteen years ago) link

> The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons

five's afternoon films are, if anything, worse. they are all sponsored by Sterident and feature those annoying bookend ads with a cheetah who sounds like terry thomas making various teeth related jokes.

koogs (koogs), Friday, 8 April 2005 07:12 (fourteen years ago) link

AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

I have just remembered which advert provokes the SCREAMING RAGE THROWING THINGS AT THE TELEVISION RAGE:

"Hello Auntie!
"Kim Catrall!" (if it's really her niece is she really going to greet her by full name?)
"Why can't I find a decent MANG!?!?!?" (is this supposed to be lampooning Kim or her character?)
"Here, practise on this tea" (GARG GARG KILL KILL!!!) "Don't do that, Kim" (Didn't she just tell her to practise on the tea?!?!?

Words cannot describe how much I hate this advert.

Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh, come on, Kim Catrall tossing off a packet of tea is the best thing ever.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:23 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm amazed they didn't think of that in Police Academy.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 11 April 2005 09:39 (fourteen years ago) link

interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes
Don't they go for £50 man? The Observer had an article last year or something about £50 man. He is the guy who always buys £50 worth of CDs when he goes into town. I think it's the same guy.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 11 April 2005 15:41 (fourteen years ago) link

There are some CableVision (local cable Tv supplier) ads running here in Jersey City that set my teeth on edge. Each spot is a mock music video - complete with song title and credits - featuring some embarrasing performances by what I hope are Cablevision employees. There's the emo-singer songwriter sensitive dude, the jazz chanteuse, the chanteuse surrounded by some retarded "vocalese" guys, the works. These ads are wretched.


Then there's the car ad where the chubby test driver gets so excited driving he starts screaming with joy. Except his screams of joy are more like the screeches of a lust-crazed gibbon.

Jay Vee (Manon_70), Monday, 11 April 2005 16:11 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
Two at the moment:
"Love the platforms, Bertie"
and
"Should have to Specsavers"

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link

I hate all Sonic ads.

Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

the new honda adverts - 'it's crazy wise. it's doolally obvious.' stop that. and focusing on the minute percentage of your cars / plants that don't pollute / are recycled is fooling nobody.

the other one, the one with the babies 'why can't technology be as simple as the box it comes in?', 'why can't phones last a month, i want to talk to all the girls'. ick.

the wax virgin adverts. odd that they have to add a hint of machismo into something so feminine.

koogs (koogs), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:18 (fourteen years ago) link

The blacked out frog ones... Now it looks like he has an YNORMUS one!

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (fourteen years ago) link

Stephen Fry has been whoring himself a bit too much lately. Orange and now Twinings tea where he seems to think we will believe the self styled cleverest man in Britain that he does not know how or when to drink Earl Grey Tea!

Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (fourteen years ago) link

Whatever the bloody car one that's for people who are "still a bit rebellious". Look, you're buying a fucking 'nice little run around' you are not, nor ever have been, rebellious. Get. The. Fuck. Over. It.

Anna (Anna), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:14 (fourteen years ago) link

nobby's nuts

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:22 (fourteen years ago) link

The Volvic one with the stone age man who invents the wheel, the axle and, hence, the pole-dancing platform. Or maybe it's a subtle commentary on men with Stone Age attitudes to gender roles. Oh, hang on...it's not.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:25 (fourteen years ago) link

It is! You sexist.

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:39 (fourteen years ago) link

I love the Nobby's Nuts ad - anything that has Noddy Holder shouting at people is okay with me.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Michael Winner in drag.

And that damn ringtone ad that incessantly plays on ITV.

David Merryweather (DavidM), Monday, 16 May 2005 12:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Alice on seeing the first "Sweetie the Chick" ad:

"I WANT ONE!! er, what is it?"

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 16 May 2005 12:08 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh, Sweetie the Chick is so last week, it's all about Nessie the Dragon these days...oh God, I fucking DETEST all of these ring tones, and last week I was holding forth about this hate in the office and my boss had no idea what I was on about so one of my colleagues sat and played preview clips of the whole range of shit on the Jamster website all afternoon and I died a little inside.

The farting monkey one is the worst though.

ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 16 May 2005 21:39 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...
The Southern Comfort one with the American backpackers doing their "To Prague!" - "Tickets to Barcelona, Tickets to Barcelona" - shrug - "To Barcelona!" thing is back on our screens and driving me demented. I don't understand why I loathe them quite so much.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Because you're imagining how irritating it would be to be stuck on a train or in a hostel with these drunken, stupid, eejits?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link

But they're not really drunken and I have no real way of knowing if they're stupid. I think it's their wealth and smugness.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Actually, I think it's their self-reliance and self-absorption.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link

I really hate them all and I hope they are all dead now.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link

someday they will be, if they're not now.

gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link

It's a comforting thought.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link

why in Barcelona they probably rented a Hummer and, coked out, drove it off a road and into the water.

gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh dear God! Top of the google results for that advert are people on a C4 forum saying things like "Barcelona (I've wanted to ever since I first saw the Southern Comfort advert, I LOVE that advert!)" and "I love that Southern Comfort ad too! It's so cool!"

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Livingston fans love it too!

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Gear - do they show it in the States too?

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link

sure enough!

gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:32 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...
the Bulldog internet advert. why would anyone ever describe the internet as 'a gate half open'?

koogs (koogs), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes, but it's got Delays for the soundtrack, which always makes me happy.

Not a TV ad, but still really really REALLY irritates me. That car advert (Audi?) with all the planets of the solar system - BUT THEY'VE GOT THE ORDER WRONG AND REVERSED VENUS AND MARS!!!

I don't know why that winds me up so much, but it does.

The Damp Is Rising (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:36 (thirteen years ago) link

"HI I'M BARRY SCOTT AND I SHOUT"
http://www.recrea.org/pix/barryscott.jpg

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:38 (thirteen years ago) link

The PC World ads, and all the DFS, Vogue, furniture ones - Guaranteed delivery for Christmas? Do people really go out and buy leather suites at this time of year?

Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Foyle's War is sponsored by AXA, and their "humorous" idents involve people at important/climactic moments (checking the results of a prgnancy test, bursting into a church at the "forever hold your peace" moment of the wedding) shouting I'VE JUST GOT AXA INSURANCE like anyone could possibly give a fuck what insurance you got. They're shit.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Sheila's wheels. Die. Die. And leave that poor dog alone, doesn't he have enough problems driving you harpies around for 24 hours a day. Plus - another fucking 'it's for women, let's use loads of pink.'

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Carlsberg's best takeaway in the world – in fact all the carlsberg ads

beanz (beanz), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Sheila's wheels
also, on the last shot the road is going the wrong way so it looks like they're reversing at great speed which is not really a good advert for women drivers (not that i have a problem with them before you start).

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:58 (thirteen years ago) link

But the Sheila's aren't even driving! That poor put-upon dog is driving! I don't even like dogs and I feel for that one.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:20 (thirteen years ago) link

not-goodwin mistakes dogs for women = he is even worse than those who complain about women drivers

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:21 (thirteen years ago) link

I didn't even know there was a dog in that advert...

Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:24 (thirteen years ago) link

not-goodwin mistakes dogs for women
after 4 pints, who doesn't?

rumpie, me neither.

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:28 (thirteen years ago) link

"That's more than Lucky..."

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:29 (thirteen years ago) link

I think the only Sheila's Wheels advert I have seen involved an australian transvestite and no dogs.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:34 (thirteen years ago) link

I *love* the Sheila's Wheels advert.

Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Actually, it's Sheilas' Wheels isn't it? I remember checking it and approving at the cinema.

Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Not Australian, actually just part of esure, yawn

Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:41 (thirteen years ago) link

On a slightly less amusing note, there's an ad currently running on the digital channels for an animal charity. This ad features one of those dancing bears which has gone mad. It's just horrible. I watched it all the way through once, thinking it was going to have a happy ending (like the Dogs' Trust ads do), but it didn't. I have to leave the room when it's on, I find it so upsetting.

Back on the normal side of things, I still am the only person who likes the man in the Phones 4 U ads. He's crazy, yes, but he seems to have enormously strong roots in the community.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:43 (thirteen years ago) link

"Car insurance at mice's prices"

Eh? Are mice well-known for securing excellent deals on their third-party policies?

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:46 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:51 (thirteen years ago) link

a dog wearing hats? how can this not be good?

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Koogs otm with that gate half open drivel - that 'why don't we open it all the way?' bit always makes me angry. Because it's not any kind of gate, obviously.

Also Accentmonkey otm re that horrific bear charity advert. It keeps summoning up for me a bear in a cage in the park in Istanbul below the Topkapi palace. The cage seemed maybe 3-4 times the volume of the bear.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh come on, it's like the kind of things that Calvin's dad used to tell him to f*ck with his head.

-Stroke-Model (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:18 (thirteen years ago) link

Anyone seen that advert with Rainbow - Since You've Been Gone as the soundtrack for a Noodles advert?

"Are you a noodlehead?"

Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:21 (thirteen years ago) link

i hate the ads with churchill the bulldog (i adore bulldogs but not talking toy bobble-headed ones), and the ones for various loan companies showing grinning idiots about to borrow £25k against their homes with no consequences.

I have to leave the room when it's on, I find it so upsetting.

oh god. totally otm. as someone who watches digital cable a fair bit, especially late at night, i'm often completely horrified by the various child and animal and cancer charity ads, which basically boil down to showing you an abused dog/baby or bald leukemia patient whilst playing portentous music and implying that if you don't send off your two quid a month then the person/animal in question is a goner.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:33 (thirteen years ago) link

pepperami ads are awful as well, and so are the heinz mexican baked bean ads with the little bean that talks like cheech marin.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:34 (thirteen years ago) link

"where are my socks?"

"in the drawer...next to your loincloth"

die Herbal Essences advert, die.

>Back on the normal side of things, I still am the only person who likes the man in the Phones 4 U ads. He's crazy, yes, but he seems to have enormously strong roots in the community

The Phones 4 U ads are grebt - the one where he runs down to the car window to repeat the slogan ("how's that for you Billy Boy?" "YEAH! YEAHH!") is class, as is the one where it ends with the scary long-haired woman and a bell tolling in the background.

Bill A (Bill A), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link

it's weird that they've brought those same Pepperami adverts back years after they were first shown.

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:42 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah who the fuck puts pepperami with pasta? gross!

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:43 (thirteen years ago) link

oh! and the kerry katona iceland ads!

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:45 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel nostalgic for the STUPID, JUST STUPID man.

RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:45 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, that whole meat + spaghetti idea has never caught on really...(xpost)

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:51 (thirteen years ago) link

Despite stiff competition from the prick with the football trying to borrow £25K, confused dot com and the 'borrow money to buy your council house' one, Kerry Katona's "are these breasts large?" advert SICKENS AND APPALLS ME.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:00 (thirteen years ago) link

The always reliable Pringles people who start making monkey noises and doing monkey dances and are then confronted by King Kong. Aaaaaaargh.

(p.s. I love Churchill. Oh, yes.)

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:09 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, that whole meat + spaghetti idea has never caught on really...(xpost)
-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...), November 24th, 2005.

er yeah but PEPPERAMI?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:18 (thirteen years ago) link

It's fantastic on pizza, peperami.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:20 (thirteen years ago) link

tf.

lauren also otm re. katona, i think they must be the actual worst.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:21 (thirteen years ago) link

if my mum was a millionaire, i'd be really really upset to get frozen pizzas and mystery meat ready meals for dinner.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:24 (thirteen years ago) link

ew 'mystery meat'

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:26 (thirteen years ago) link

That's why mums go to Iceland.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:31 (thirteen years ago) link

the soft bake Nutrigrain ads freak me out - they're in the same vein as the Phones for You 'slightly touched in the head people' adverts.

Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Sorry, Phones 4 U.

Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:32 (thirteen years ago) link

what about the starburst ad with the rapping/stripping grandma? i'm getting traumatized all over again just thinking about it.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:48 (thirteen years ago) link

oho, jeremy clarkson's smug-as-shit bt ads.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:50 (thirteen years ago) link

THEY ARE NOT SMUG

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:05 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah they are. it's completely stupid, but it tries to induce smugness in long-standing bt customers. his voice just *is* smugness.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I like Phones 4 U.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:07 (thirteen years ago) link

Do you like their adverts?

Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:10 (thirteen years ago) link

i think Clarkson and BT got the balance right.

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:11 (thirteen years ago) link

also when he says 'LAG-GING' i smirk

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:12 (thirteen years ago) link

there's a rather appalling advert where a girl (wearing spectacles) brings her boyfriend home to meet her mum but ::gasp:: her mum has started to wear contact lenses. So now this girl is all distraught and thinks her boyfriend will now fancy her mum.

Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:19 (thirteen years ago) link

specsavers strike again.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:20 (thirteen years ago) link

I meant the adverts. The whole world of mobile phone shopping scares me.

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:22 (thirteen years ago) link

There's some sort of claims advert where a big bearded guy starts saying "Have you been injured,.. ?" but then I don't know what happens next because I cannot begin to tell you how fast the channel gets changed.

Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:27 (thirteen years ago) link

There's something wrong with the Specsaver girl's hair. It's like a really bad, badgery wig.

Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:28 (thirteen years ago) link

it's hollyoaks hair.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Bwah hah ahh hah hah hah!

Stripey Hollyoaks badger.

But no one on Hollyoaks wears glasses....

-Stroke-Model (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:34 (thirteen years ago) link

what about the starburst ad with the rapping/stripping grandma

what's wrong with that, it's a classic.

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:37 (thirteen years ago) link

the girl in the Specsavers ad actually reminded me of her in As If.

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:38 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't get that Specsavers ad. I mean, don't you guys also sell, you know, SPECS????

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:30 (thirteen years ago) link

what's wrong with that, it's a classic.

you're obviously deranged. that's what's wrong.

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:34 (thirteen years ago) link

Has ANYBODY ever got a phone call asking about lagging?

Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Yup. I am now subscribed to the telephone preference service.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:39 (thirteen years ago) link

"OMG LAG! BS! REG! BS BS BS!!"

g-spot (g-kit), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:40 (thirteen years ago) link

G-KIT OTM

melton mowbray (adr), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:41 (thirteen years ago) link

is Lagging some new sex thing?

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I just saw a Telegraph advert where they claim to be packed with "world class sporting opinion" and I keep imagining people saying "That's a word class opinion you've got there, mate!" and the like.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:15 (thirteen years ago) link

'We call it Kodak'

beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:47 (thirteen years ago) link

ah the kodak one is indeed teh suck

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Partly because US ads don't look right in the UK and partly because it is a pile of crap in its own right

beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:57 (thirteen years ago) link

I've never seen the ad, but "World Class Sports Opinion" is really terrible copy. Using "World Class" to modify anything that doesn't actually compete on local vs. national vs. world levels (athletes, etc.) is really idiotic.

Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Having only seen it twice over the weekend I am already sick of the Vodafone "I'm gonna be with you, you'll be with me" song that they will be plugging endlessly until Christmas. And they are also releasing the song as a single. The fact that I work for Vodafone and it has now been included as Vodafone's hold music (replacing "Lovers" by Pete Doherty and Wolfman, if you're wondering) means that it will be unavoidable for me for the next six weeks.
"Can I put you on hold while I connect you to that department?"
"Not if you're going to play me that shite song again, no".

Rob M (Rob M), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:00 (thirteen years ago) link

i saw the sheilas wheels ad over the weekend. one of those moments i was glad not to own a gun as i probably would have unloaded into the tv.

lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:01 (thirteen years ago) link

Reminds me of something else I hate – 'quality' as an adjective without qualification. It's a quality paper? It could be a shit-quality paper – you haven't told me.
xxpost

beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:02 (thirteen years ago) link

the kodak thing, yes. far too pompous.

those adverts for MRI imaging systems puzzle me. who's going to buy expensive, specialised medical equipment after seeing it in the middle of coronation street?

koogs (koogs), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:43 (thirteen years ago) link

hahaha i know right?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I think those MRI adverts are a way of showing that Philips don't just made cd players and electronic goods, it's like "Hey, we're a multinational company producing products which help save people's lives, be nice to us and buy our cd players".

Rob M (Rob M), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:47 (thirteen years ago) link

i don;t get the 'beyond petroleum' ads.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:47 (thirteen years ago) link

I guess the idea is that although you ignore the advert consciously, you're subliminally impressed with the amazingness of the company's industrial-scale products – so when you go to dixons for a packet of triple-A batteries you pick up their brand, feeling you're a part of something much much bigger.
hah xpost

beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:49 (thirteen years ago) link

"Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel."

Caught the full-length Sheila's Wheels advert this morning and, thanks to the live pause function on Sky+, I'm pretty sure that it's actually a kangeroo behind the wheel.

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:49 (thirteen years ago) link

those adverts for MRI imaging systems puzzle me. who's going to buy expensive, specialised medical equipment after seeing it in the middle of coronation street?

Tom Cruise?

Alba (Alba), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:50 (thirteen years ago) link

(does Tom Cruise watch Coronation Street? - subs please check)

Alba (Alba), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:51 (thirteen years ago) link

I find myself falling into a trance whenever the HP advert comes on because the music is so damn catchy (you know the one - out of the picture do be do dum dum out of the fra-ame do be do dum dum) and the repeated face-framing business is strangely hypnotic.

Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:09 (thirteen years ago) link

1. The Kleenex advert, there is no reason to ever show huge closeups of spiders on television ever, unless it's in a programme where celebrities have to eat them in the jungle and we arachnophobes know to stay well away.

2. Ginger kid on LSD breaks into people's sheds and bedrooms and asks "what do you keep in this vase?" "how long are you going to feel like THAT for?" "What's wrong with your face?", then the voiceover bloke, in a "for fuck's sake" tone of voice, says to talk to FRANK about drugs

3. The advert for some educational electronic toy that goes along the lines of "Tom is learning about numbers, while James is crashing cars into walls. Tom is discovering new worlds of verbs and learning, while James is running around smashing things up". Bear in mind that this is Tom's toy that's being advertised and is supposed to sound much more fun to children than James'.

Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 00:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Why is that fucking woman in the Christmas Vodafone advert wearing pedal pushers? It's SNOWING and MINUS TEN DEGREES OUT. Let the fucker freeze I say. That'll shut her up.

As for Kerry Katona at Iceland, I like the way that she's put the Christmas turkey on the table at the same time as the savoury snacklets, value mince pies and the arctic roll, leaving no room for things like veg or table settings. Also I don't get the joke at the end but it seems to revolve around wellies.

j0e (j0e), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 10:34 (thirteen years ago) link

I find myself falling into a trance whenever the HP advert comes on because the music is so damn catchy (you know the one - out of the picture do be do dum dum out of the fra-ame do be do dum dum) and the repeated face-framing business is strangely hypnotic.

Once more my non-tech self is confused. There is no such ad for brown sauce, I thought. Then remembered.
Mr. Monkey does not like the face framing thing. It freaks him out.
And speaking of freakouts, it is not big or clever to advertise Lucozade using zombies. They are just frightening, okay? And why the fuck would I want to buy something that may or may not turn me into a zombie?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:02 (thirteen years ago) link

Re: The Sheila's Wheels one.

Am I right in assuming they can't actually refuse to insure a driver based on their gender? Is this a case of making the product so 'horribly girlie' that us 'yorkie eating men' would never stoop to applying for the insurance?

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:14 (thirteen years ago) link

I love that HP advert, partly because the cute bloke in it looks like a friend of mine.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:17 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
first off, the jamie oliver flavour shaker ads, WTF. oliver, fuck off you money grabbing lisping shit!

secondly, the dixons advert, with the ladys in tight clothing, hmmm, i love dixons!!
cant believe there are places like this where u can bitch about ads

smallhippo, Wednesday, 14 December 2005 02:12 (thirteen years ago) link

I think that any prescription drug being advertised is the worst. They are vague and often don't mention what condition the drug is for, yet they mention the brand name 10 times in the advert and tell you to request it from your doctor. WTF? Then they proceed to tell you all the side effects of the drug, but they say it so fast (because there are so many side effects) that you can't begin to comprehend what the disclaimers are except...my personal fave at the end "including death". I don't think Rx drugs should be advertised at all!

Wiggy (Wiggy), Wednesday, 14 December 2005 04:16 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
there's a thread somewhere where, i think, JtN complain about those micra(?) adverts with the made up words like Modtro and Spafe. the new honda(?) advert tries to introduce the word 'bigsmall' to the world. an e for effort there i think.

saw an advert on space tv whilst home over christmas (couldn't miss it, it was on every 15 minutes) where the bloke in a cheap suit in a white studio used the phrase 'zero no claims bonus' about 6 times in 15 seconds.

koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:52 (thirteen years ago) link

"mmmmm Danone!" Biffidus Digestivum????? Thay made that word up so these rediculous women on low calorie diets would think they were actually buying something with scientific research to it! Biffidus sounds like a fucking pokemon and Digestivum is just digest with a VUM on the end for christs sake! Stupid people... *tuts repeatedly*

Bleugh and that breathe easy strips advert or whatever they are - "this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot, its the veins in them exploding" or something like that. I feel physically sick especially when I'm eating tea in front of the telly. Sickening.

Amy Turner, Sunday, 15 January 2006 14:02 (thirteen years ago) link

There is a godawful commercial for some insurance or financial company that features a montage of stock "60s" imagery with maybe some Credence on the soundtrack. Anyway, the announcer follows this all up by saying something like:

"If we'd told you back then that we offer the most complete and extensive financial services... you wouldn't have cared less."

Now, people saying "I could care less" instead of "couldn't" is way, way up there on my English pet peeves as it is. Now Madison Avenue is introducing a new and even LESS logical variant, apparently just to make my life harder. What in the FUCK does "you wouldn't have cared less" mean? Seriously!

Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 15 January 2006 17:04 (thirteen years ago) link

is that butthole surfers, on the teaching ad? revolution part two.

i heard it from the other room, andd when i came in it was too late

but, it did soujnd like it!

calderdale in the 70s (gareth), Sunday, 15 January 2006 17:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Obviously all 'no really, you can get a loan from us' ads are horrible, but this new Norton Finance one particularly strikes me. Its hopeless losers who are retired or have CCJs or whatever at the beginning are standing out in the pouring rain, looking grey and soggy and miserable - except in the background we see an ordinary shopping street, with everyone walking around happily enough, no umbrellas. This means you can't help realising that it is the advertiser who is raining on them...

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 January 2006 19:50 (thirteen years ago) link

sprint commercial with office dweebs dancing to 'push it'.

no.

tres letraj (tehresa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:14 (thirteen years ago) link

the one with the campbell's "possibilities" acousti-hop jingle.

yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:45 (thirteen years ago) link

those are not nearly as bad as the john lithgow showtunes ones....

tehresa (tehresa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:46 (thirteen years ago) link

There is a godawful commercial for some insurance or financial company that features a montage of stock "60s" imagery with maybe some Credence on the soundtrack.

Is that the same generation addressing Boomers that goes, "YOU were the generation that learned to forge relationships..."

HA! Does that include the divorcing and spouse-swapping during the ME decade?

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 16 January 2006 17:36 (thirteen years ago) link

I stopped my Rocky and Bullwinkle tape last night to be confronted with a man telling another man in great detail about the bowel movements of his daughter. He then proceeded to inform the viewing audience that we all have 5 to 22 pounds of undigested fecal matter in our bodies, and John Wayne apparently had over 40 pounds when he died. They were selling a product called Cleanse Across America. I think one of them was Hitler.

clotpoll, Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:08 (thirteen years ago) link

i think it's the oxy one where the lad purchases a kebab and then rubs it in his face?

stupid!

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:12 (thirteen years ago) link

> Biffidus Digestivum?

the worst of these made up names is that one in the cosmetics ads - Boswellox

koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:54 (thirteen years ago) link

1. "Bigsmall"

2. "CONFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSED! Dot com." (if I saw this guy in the street, I'd be sorely tempted to go over boot him in the nads)

3. AOL advert (using the Holocaust to sell internet services - modern life IS rubbish isn't it?)

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:25 (thirteen years ago) link

I did actually use confused.com - they were very good.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:36 (thirteen years ago) link

you used it because of the advert?

RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Ugh, the AOL ad: Use us, or your children will grow up to be Islamic fundamentalist terrorists and will trigger WW3.

I guess they couldn't illustrate the ad with porn though.

beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:50 (thirteen years ago) link

They should really be using Islamic fundamentalism to promote their product - after all, where would the Jihad be without the internet?

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:51 (thirteen years ago) link

there's a blurry allusion to pornography, in the AOL adverts

"orwell was right..." is the bad thing about it

RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (thirteen years ago) link

the other aol advert i saw was them saying that the internet couldn't be stopped and couldn't be censored by governments. over the top of images of chinese students stood in front of tanks. isn't china the one example of where a government has pretty much managed to censor the internet?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/4587622.stm

koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (thirteen years ago) link

So obviously AOL does not do business with the Communist Party of China, right?

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (thirteen years ago) link

... and has no plans to do so in the future?

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't know if it's one of the worst or one of the best (for it's sheer improbability) but there's an ad for Kraft Cheese Crumbles which for music has a fake-EMF singing "They're Crumbelievable!" instead of "unbelievable." The guy singing sounds like he took the gig really seriously, too.

And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:42 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm I the only one who's seen this? Maybe I dreamed it.

Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:13 (thirteen years ago) link

It sounds awesome, anyway!

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:21 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.nndb.com/people/279/000022213/crumb-sui.jpg

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:23 (thirteen years ago) link

I didn't dream it. It's real. All too real. Crumbelievable. (OHH! cue piano, etc.)

Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:47 (thirteen years ago) link

any advery with that calm down dear guy in it he is so f***ing irritating

David Arnold, Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Winner? I just remembered I had a dream about him last night! He got really exasperated with me for some reason. It's cause I'd seen another godawful ad with him - the "everyone's a winner, just like me!" one for the Daily Mail. Cunt.

Cracks (Crackity), Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Advert for shit new Richard Ashcroft album wherein he is described as, believe it or not, the legendary Richard Ashcroft

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 February 2006 17:48 (thirteen years ago) link

tha cillit bang ads
im barry scott and im a dickhead who likes to shout

the garnier nutrisse ads with davina mccall
"no mum,this is good for my hair because the name is nourish and thats a good thing"
fukin idiot, it dusnt say a single technical thing in the whole advert just its calld nourish so it must b good

tha child trust fund one
theres a baby doin an aerobics class
wot stupid diks the adults are
dey r following a baby
bollocks they r soooooooooooooo retarded

Gangstarrrr, Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:01 (thirteen years ago) link

No, the Cillit Bang ones with Barry Scott PLUS some random woman with the mankiest bath in the world. They are crap, even beyond the knowingly crap that they think they are.

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Um, is anyone else slightly afraid of the baby/tiny man who is making our toilet paper?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:43 (thirteen years ago) link

Can I also put in a vote for whoever came up with "great value-amundo" to be BADLY HURT?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:58 (thirteen years ago) link

omg we saw a Cillit Bang advert in Spain in Spanish - best thing ever

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:00 (thirteen years ago) link

plinky plinky gizmo!

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Seelet Beng!

Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:18 (thirteen years ago) link

The low-fi ones like Cillit Bang and the consolidate-your-debts ones with people striding purposefully through call centres talking about CCJs – they're annoying but really well-made. Designed to give you the impression that these people are just like you and understand your needs (e.g. banks make me nervous, that place looks more friendly) and that they don't waste their customers' money on high tech marketing, they're down to earth you see. Scarily effective, apparently.

beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Except there's one fronted by a repulsive old guy with a paintbrush mustache who looks like he belongs to the British Union of Fascists circa 1935.

chap who would dare to be completely sober on the internet (chap), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link

"he's young and confused"

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:30 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.
-- Anna

Yes, as Hello Sunshine pointed out, this is indeed a kangaroo and the reason I clicked on this thread. But you know ... it *is* wearing a hat most of the time.

Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:38 (thirteen years ago) link

have we talked about that phone ad that uses a horrible version of "Hangin' on the Telephone"?

kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:41 (thirteen years ago) link

It's a kangaroo, and it wears a chauffeur's cap. Why do the sheilas need motor insurance if they aren't even driving?

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 23:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I miss the Elite Carpet Drycleaners Ghostbusters rip-off ads!

marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:11 (thirteen years ago) link

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

These are the *best* adverts on at the moment:

"For bonza car insurance deals, girls get down to Sheila's wheels..."
"For ladies who enjoy their cars, Sheila's wheels are superstars..."

So damn catchy!

Tehrannosaurus HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:34 (thirteen years ago) link

I have a vision of Charlie Sheen sitting at a piano, writing the jingles for those ads.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Bleugh and that breathe easy strips advert or whatever they are - "this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot, its the veins in them exploding" or something like that. I feel physically sick especially when I'm eating tea in front of the telly. Sickening.

You forgot the worst bit. It goes something like:

[posh man with posh voice]: this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot...

(Jump cut to posh mans mouth)

[same posh man putting on even posher voice]: YUCK!

[posh man back to normal posh voice]: its the veins in them exploding....

Truly infuriating.

Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link

The low-fi ones like Cillit Bang and the consolidate-your-debts ones with people striding purposefully through call centres talking about CCJs – they're annoying but really well-made. Designed to give you the impression that these people are just like you and understand your needs (e.g. banks make me nervous, that place looks more friendly) and that they don't waste their customers' money on high tech marketing, they're down to earth you see. Scarily effective, apparently.

I did notice though that one of these ads featured about half a dozen redular members of the public, and EVERY ONE OF THEM was grotesquely obese. What can it mean??

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:43 (thirteen years ago) link

People need loans to fund their doughnut habits?

beanz (beanz), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:48 (thirteen years ago) link

Personally I rob people to fund mine. Seems easier.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:51 (thirteen years ago) link

renault clio - that fucking girl thinks she's sooooooooo hot 'ooh nicole, papa, french cars, jean-paul satre, pffft!, the most romantic city in the world!' that and the stupid music dribbling past like some gallic weak orgasm. this advert could be responsible for shifting francophilia to francophobia in me. *yeeuch* shudder.

john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:35 (thirteen years ago) link

You are called Jeremy and don't fool me!

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:40 (thirteen years ago) link

bang to rights guv - i'm that smug and that bald

john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:50 (thirteen years ago) link

oh god i hate the 'gorgeous is...' car ad.

The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Me too. It just goes ON and ON and on AND on and on.

It's like a bad Calvin Klein ad from the early nineties.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:56 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...
Dunkin Donuts - "Doing things is what I like to do...YES!" song

Make it stop!!

Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:34 (thirteen years ago) link

I loathe the crass sponsorship ads from Cadbury before Coronation Street and in particular the one with the grungy student type falling into a cardboard box while drinking tea out of a vase. What the fxxx is that about?

Barry Scott, Monday, 24 April 2006 20:39 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't know if it's one of the worst or one of the best (for it's sheer improbability) but there's an ad for Kraft Cheese Crumbles which for music has a fake-EMF singing "They're Crumbelievable!" instead of "unbelievable." The guy singing sounds like he took the gig really seriously, too.

And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

-- Nemo (jdevereux...), January 20th, 2006 8:42 AM. (JND) (link)

I would've accused you of having hid in my living room last night were it not for the fact that you posted the above statement three months ago.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 24 April 2006 20:50 (thirteen years ago) link

freaky

sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:09 (thirteen years ago) link

that pepsi commercial that looks like a car commercial, with the high pitched jingle that can annoy from several rooms away

a.b. (alanbanana), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:31 (thirteen years ago) link

I want to kick the shitty pseudo-Austrailian guy in the Outback steakhouse commercials in the fucking teeth.

joygoat (joygoat), Monday, 24 April 2006 23:27 (thirteen years ago) link

The new Daily Express advert with it's creepy fascist undertones. Actually made me go "OH FUCK OFF!" at my TV as the strapline came on at the end.

Treblekicker (treblekicker), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 10:57 (thirteen years ago) link

There's one on just now for some kind of training company, ICS, it's got a really annoying woman saying "Want to learn at home for a new career but don't think you can do it? ICS you can!"

They think the line is so clever they make her say "ICS you can" about ten times in the one advert.

It makes me want to weep.

Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Treblekicker, what one's that?

The "did you feel something?" ad for Wilkinson Sword or whoever - razors seem to be the new chewing gum in unwatchable advert stakes.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:46 (thirteen years ago) link

Ha ha, yes that's terrible - esp. the inept dubbing!

Kids Will Eat Them Till the Cows Come Home (Dada), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:47 (thirteen years ago) link

I surprised myself when I went off on an expletive-riddled tirade last night against the J Nesbitt one where he's on the phone rhapsodizing about his penis car when wifey says, "oh btw I'm pregnant," and cue the "let me call you back" and trying-to-cram-a-carseat in a 2-seater montage, then grimly phoning up about a papal carrier. As though by "pregnant" she meant "and with quints".

Combo of cliched corvette-owning jerk plus overstyled yuppie apt plus woman in role of smug manipulative killjoy really put me off! I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that.

sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:06 (thirteen years ago) link

also, "nutrisse means NOURISH!!!" ARGH

sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Manipulative wifey look slightly like Helen Baxendale (ie, "Rachel"). Coincedence?

JTS (JTS), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:01 (thirteen years ago) link

express adverts viewable here: http://www.express.co.uk/videos.html

koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Did someone say Canesten? http://www.yeast.me.uk

Gav, Monday, 1 May 2006 11:28 (thirteen years ago) link

FLOWMAX - drug for making old men not have to piss all the time. May result in reduced semen production, ya know. Anyway, great name for a drug that makes you NOT have to piss, Flowmax.

dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:22 (thirteen years ago) link

am already fed up of football themed adverts and the WC doesn't start for over a month.

http://us.a1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/a/ad/adidas/ukcountdown_220x85_122005.swf

koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:44 (thirteen years ago) link

"I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that."

I thought it was for the Yellow Pages...

Anyway, what about the latest Mini Baby Bell thing, with a central casting model woman (dressed like one of the Angels from Captain Scarlet) throwing some cheese out of a plane so some geeky, gropy skydivers leap out after them, but the geekiest one of all fails to catch his and it lands on a remote-control flatbed truck that an evil-looking Scandinavian boy drives away while cackling, forcing the parachutist to chase after it on foot through a giant concrete pipe only for his chute to get caught up in the pipe making him fall flat on his arse while the evil-looking Scandinavian boy eats the cheese and laughs even more madly than before?

What the fuck is that all about?

Meanwhile, Sheila's Wheels continues...

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:50 (thirteen years ago) link

"Put de lime in de Coke, you nut...."

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

hejira, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Immigration officer: How long have you been in Jamaica?

Dreadlocked white man: We bin hunnymoonin' 'bout fifteen years mon.

Me: So how come your passport hasn't expired?

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 11 May 2006 06:03 (thirteen years ago) link

saw a meta-advert the other day, some branding company doing a 30-second infomercial for the (mind boggling in its own way) 3-fragrance ambi-pur thing (despite the fact that an advert for said air freshener already exists)

koogs (koogs), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:32 (thirteen years ago) link

The worst tv advert of the moment is clearly the Rennies one with the grumbling volcano. It feels like it was made circa 1978.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:39 (thirteen years ago) link

My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy. Because I'm addicted to reruns of American sitcoms, I end up on this station a lot. It's annoying because
1) they always run the same ads for their programmes in every single ad break
2) they don't change these ads for a whole month
3) their ads are SO LOUD compared to the programmes
4) their ad breaks are so long. I think we timed one the other night at four minutes

I hate them.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:23 (thirteen years ago) link

I really can't stand the sanitary towel advert with all the women marching in the streets. Grrrrrr.

indolent girl (indolent girl), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:26 (thirteen years ago) link

"My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy"

Too right. How many times have they shown that promo for "Two and a Half Men" ??? The extent of Charlie Sheen's surgery makes me want to retch!!

JTS (JTS), Thursday, 11 May 2006 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

Totally otm. I've also been reduced to shouting at the telly recently by the jaffa cake advert with the woman stuck down a well and the new one for bogroll with some kind of balm on it ("I'm a bit of a clean freak" etc). Jebus, these are bad.

Bill A (Bill A), Friday, 12 May 2006 09:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Applebee's has the worst commercials on earth. They make me want to kill.

josh in sf (stfu kthx), Friday, 12 May 2006 16:42 (thirteen years ago) link

The Daily Mail "Free 'teach yourself Spanish' CD" one that's just been on. What Spanish phrase do they show someone saying to show how fluent in Spanish you'll be after buying their paper?

"Ti amo"

Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 12 May 2006 17:46 (thirteen years ago) link

the Pepsi / XBox open top bus / victory parade thing.

koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh God, yes. It makes me feel sorry for Barry Davies, that he is reduced to such hackery.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:21 (thirteen years ago) link

"Be a high rate saver!"

Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:31 (thirteen years ago) link

What about the one for some kind of snack that has people being thrown into a dungeon by some strange king-type chappie?

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Not that I can see it down here, but I am reliably informed that the current ad campaign for the Scottish Daily Record is spectacularly abysmal. Confirmation?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Be A High-Rate Saver sung to the tune of Rhinestone Cowboy.

koogs (koogs), Friday, 19 May 2006 08:18 (thirteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...
i quite like this Ford Focus ST advert I think. the one with weird things happening in a futuristing setting and is about kind of what you wanted to be in the future. i mean. it's alright.

anyway the point is that THEN there is another one by Zurich insurance "what happens" that talks also about the future, and how you can't predict weird things that happen. Uses an instrumental version of the same tune, and a few shots are inside a car! made me almost think it's the same advert until like right at the end it was like insurance wot!

co-incidence?

ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Haven't gone through all of this thread, so apologies if it's already been mentioned, but...At Home With Beefy And Lamby...dear oh dear oh dear...

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:22 (thirteen years ago) link

the frosties advert

RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:27 (thirteen years ago) link

fuckin otm.

Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:29 (thirteen years ago) link

Rarely so OTM!

Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:31 (thirteen years ago) link

what's the current frosties ad?

jed_ (jed), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:33 (thirteen years ago) link

They're going to be GRRR... oh, I've been shot.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:34 (thirteen years ago) link

oh yeah that kid needs slapping

theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:34 (thirteen years ago) link

The Tom Tom ads

robster (robster), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:36 (thirteen years ago) link

That car advert featuring lots of 'wacky' people singing a 'zany' version of 'What A Wonderful World'. Kill them all.

Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:37 (thirteen years ago) link

I hate seeing the same actors in different ads - 4 years at RADA to sell remedies for thrush, well done

Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Quote me fucking happy.

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Indeed, inexplicably it still thrives

Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:47 (thirteen years ago) link

4 years at RADA to sell remedies for thrush, well done

I doubt that was their motivation

Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:48 (thirteen years ago) link

> The Tom Tom ads

that's exactly what i was thinking needed posting to this thread. especially the one with the fish-faced woman and her accent.

koogy wonderland (koogs), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Quote Me Bastard Happy.

Should Craig Cash now follow the Jay Leno/Doritos procedure as outlined by Bill Hicks?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:05 (thirteen years ago) link

They're going to be GRRR... oh, I've been shot.
-- accentmonkey (tris...) (webmail), Today 12:34 PM. (later) (link)

They are frosties. They're all right. they aren't worth going down the street about. And in any case, you wake up, go downstaris, and have breakfast. Where's he been? Where's he going? Is he anticipating the next morning's cereal? Why would he do that? And is Ian Dury's estate getting royalties for the blatant ripoff of "I want to be straight"? Or is it his just reward for ripping "ello tosh got a toshiba" and paying Alexei Sayle nowt?

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:10 (thirteen years ago) link

They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste great,
I can hear the sound of Frosties hitting me plate,
They're gonna taste great,
With Tony your mate,
Well everybody knows Frosties taste great!
Even ladies who wait,
Or a pirate,
And your teenage brother who's out on a date!
If you live in Oz, mate,
Or the Empire State,
Even ladies with personalised number plates,
Or a bloke in a crate,
Well he knows they taste great!
They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste gre
They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste great!

RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:16 (thirteen years ago) link

You'll be next.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:19 (thirteen years ago) link

shot?

RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:21 (thirteen years ago) link

Frosties ad slightly redeemed by presence of random pirate (even if they do make pi-rate rhyme with great). That kid's jubilant little dance as he sails off into the air at the end is just his way of asking for a doing.

My pet hate, though I strongly suspect it is just me, is the current one for the Scottish Tourist Board/visitscotland. It shows a young and good-looking couple having a grown-up and good-looking coupley type city break - in a hotel room, in a restaurant, walking around, etc. It is clearly, to my having-lived-there-since-I-was-a-teensy-ailsa eyes, shot in Inverness. I imagine this is not clear to anyone who hasn't been to Inverness, as the back of the castle and the Greig Street Bridge aren't quite indicative of Scottish City Breaks as, say, Edinburgh Castle. Yet nowhere in the ad does it go "this lovely fun and vibrant place is Inverness, please come and visit it", it just says "have a city break in Scotland". So you think "I'm yer target audience, young, handsome, fond of fine wines and good food, I must go and have a break somewhere like, ooh, Scotland", guess where it is, wrongly, and you end up having a shite time in Dundee.

ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:27 (thirteen years ago) link

No-one goes to Dundee by accident, surely.

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:29 (thirteen years ago) link

shot?

You know it, toots.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:36 (thirteen years ago) link

that frosties ad seems really australian to me. another awful ad is the loans one where everyone's inexplicably talking to camera in the street in the piss-down rain and one of them's an old guy who gets really ratty and goes "i'm a pensioner, where do I go for a loan?" and it cuts to a hell-hole call-centre.

michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:41 (thirteen years ago) link

That Andy Gray one, "If you think playing football is hard, try watching it". Apart from the statement itself being bollocks, I hate that Anglo Scottish accent he has, if I ever end up sounding like that then I hope someone will do me a favour and shoot me

Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:55 (thirteen years ago) link

Is it actually Andy Gray? There seems to be a few adverts around at the moment featuring what sounds like and Englishman doing a poor impression of Andy Gray.

Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:57 (thirteen years ago) link

All loan ads are terrible, but I reserve a special piece of spleen specifically to vent at that one with Phil Tufnell pretending to look really interested in the debt-hawking fuckwit call centre staff.

ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 17 June 2006 12:21 (thirteen years ago) link

ok i don't know if it's particularly bad but wtf is that becks ad with the 4 dancing guys in various states of animation about? i don't get the concept at all.

michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 17 June 2006 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

the concept explained

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 17 June 2006 23:00 (thirteen years ago) link

meanwhile: at one o'clock on the morning of father's day, the airwaves are full of adverts for, er, father's day CDs. well, i suppose you can pick one up at the petrol station cheaply before paying that cursory annual visit, you miserable GBP fucks.

this one is particularly nauseating and deserves a thread to itself.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 17 June 2006 23:28 (thirteen years ago) link

the transport for london one really annoys me; partly because of the mendacity; partly for the velvet underground thing; partly for the gordon ramsey product placement.

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:21 (thirteen years ago) link

*looks up mendacity*

yes, agree with you on all three counts

Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:29 (thirteen years ago) link

i was on bus for 90 mins from highgate-camden this morning. fucked if i have time for all the other stuff.

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:30 (thirteen years ago) link

Last night chez-moi:

Son (aged 13) : hey dad, you've got to see that transport for London ad, there's a guy trying out a Fender Jaguar.
Me : cool! Give me a shout if it comes on again.
(Later)
Son - it's on! (split-second later) oh you missed the Jag!
(Later)
Son - it's on again! Quick!
Me - where? where's the Jag?
Son (tetchily) - you missed it again.

Is the bloody guitar in the ad, or is he having me on?

Dr.C (Dr.C), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:36 (thirteen years ago) link

yes he buys or tries a guitar in a shop in denmark street.

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:38 (thirteen years ago) link

he is the indiest man ever!

Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:41 (thirteen years ago) link

It's the sort of advert which makes me want to emigrate to Greenland.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:52 (thirteen years ago) link

The TalkSport one with that "de-der-de-der-der" tune at German immigration control is awful, with them pullinng things out of their jackets is awful but strangely compelling, a bit like TalkSport itself.

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (thirteen years ago) link

...then seize control of the island, split from Denmark, develop a nuclear weapons programme and destroy London.

xpost (obv)

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (thirteen years ago) link

awful.

Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:57 (thirteen years ago) link

All those ads which start 'Dave Halfwit was trying to fix an aerial to his roof during a thunderstorm. "I was trying to fix an aerial to my roof during a thunderstorm when I slipped and quite badly grazed myself - I was off work for a year but [some dodgy law firm] helped me get back on my feet with a cheque for £7"' I especially hate the one with the woman slipping over and I don't know why, 'cos I feel I should feel sorry for her.

Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:15 (thirteen years ago) link

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:18 (thirteen years ago) link

That kid's jubilant little dance as he sails off into the air at the end is just his way of asking for a doing.

OTM

The quote me happy ads really need to be stopped don't they.

Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:28 (thirteen years ago) link

The TalkSport one with that "de-der-de-der-der" tune at German immigration control is awful, with them pullinng things out of their jackets is awful but strangely compelling, a bit like TalkSport itself.

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

Its the changing expression on the customs official as the items get more and more silly

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 12:49 (thirteen years ago) link

is anything on itv4 NOT sponsored by 888.com? they've also done the compression trick to make their advert louder than the program it interrupts. it's also, because it butts right up against the programs, immune to tivo ffwd. curse them.

koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 07:53 (thirteen years ago) link

HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE?

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:00 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm going to have to once again bring up that awful loan advert where the guy is wandering around the house on the phone bouncing a football around, and his wife is filming him with a camera.

"who are you talking to?"
"Mike!"

good grief

Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I shall just say...

"Ooh, Homebuyer man!"

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:19 (thirteen years ago) link

wkd is the worst of all possible ad campaigns

RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:24 (thirteen years ago) link

OTM Enrique and RJG (did I just say that?). Is WKD supposed to be marketed at closet homosexuals who want their mates to cockblock them every time they're in a situation where they could pull? That's the only message I'm getting from the ads.

dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:19 (thirteen years ago) link

Ste OTM

The "They better not cancel football" bloke is extremely punchable.

Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:21 (thirteen years ago) link

However I do like the Vomit advert where the kid has PE and his Mum packed his Dad's pants instead of his swimming trunks so he wears them anyway and jumps off a diving board and uses them as a kind of parachute. Top stuff!

dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes the WKD ads seem to be going from random prank into rather more horrible things. The next one will be one of the lads disabling the brakes on the other ones car or something.

Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I find myself strangely drawn to the estate agent twerp in the BT ad.

Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:57 (thirteen years ago) link

he reminds me of me, a bit. hope he turns up in Doctor Who next year.

Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:00 (thirteen years ago) link

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

I honestly read this "the Cod Police" and thought Greenland is exactly where you *would* find them.

Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:24 (thirteen years ago) link

I can't decide which is more annoying:
"Shh....akespeare!" or "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:01 (thirteen years ago) link

there's another one tha bugs me everytime i see it but i have blanked it from my mind, or something. however this one:

> "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

is close.

koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Ha ha, the football finals!

And yes, when your mates find out you've swapped them for a telly, they're not gonna be impressed at your suave sophistication, they're gonna give you a shoeing

Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:25 (thirteen years ago) link

(but the point was he only had one spare ticket.)

koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:26 (thirteen years ago) link

But they obviously don't care that much about the match. They can't even be bothered to get to their friend's place before the start of the game!

theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:33 (thirteen years ago) link

But he gave away ALL his tickets, hence being able to host his chums.

Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:35 (thirteen years ago) link

Also he is a twunt because he invites them all round to watch The Football Finals, and doesn't give them so much as a beer to drink in his soulless white yuppieboy flat.

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Everybody OTM. "Shh....akespeare!" - what a cunt. HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE? Do you know anyone like this at all? I suppose alcopops are for teenagers, but they can't really show that in the adverts. "So you've got tickets to the football finals" Mystifyingly bad - who is this aimed at? They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it? Maybe they're planning on using the advert for ten years.

I can't remember the product but a similarly naff football-themed one recently went something like this:

Jeremy: No, I'm the biggest footer fan.
Tarquin: No, I am. I buy a new replica kit every week.
Jeremy: That's nothing I've been watching Teh Soccer Finals since 2002!
Tarquin: Well, I've got Michael Owen in that cupboard over there.
Michael Owen: He's right.

Teh littlest HoBBo (the pirate king), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:37 (thirteen years ago) link

There's a horrible local (?) ad for a dating hotline where the female narrator talks about the dating preferences of people at a party, in a sort've jazzy sprechgesang, like "michael is a writer who hopes to write a novel soon". It wouldn't even be a noticable ad except that it goes on for fucking ever! It must be a full two minutes long, and they tell you all about 15 or 16 fictional people, it drives me crazy.

Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 17:34 (thirteen years ago) link

this seems a reasonable place to ask: what's the music in the orange/broadband/bicycle ad? the internet (okay, commercial breaks and beats) doesn't seem to know.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:57 (thirteen years ago) link

it sounds like something from sodastream's first album.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:58 (thirteen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 22:01 (thirteen years ago) link

They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it?

Probably has to do with licensing...to use the phrase "World Cup" in your add would mean you'd have to be associated with FIFA somehow, or would have to follow their guidelines, etc. FIFA would consider it cheaping their sponsorship if other companies could namecheck the World Cup. Same with the Superbowl...it's always called the "Big Game" or "Sunday's game".

musically (musically), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 23:42 (thirteen years ago) link

bad ad i couldn't remember is the 'beauty editor' and her 'penta-peptides' which you'd expect to pay celebrity prices for, but no, they are only £20. for some face cream. so that's ok then. said ad got rubbished in the front of the guardian guide on saturday.

koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:49 (thirteen years ago) link

hunger?

jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I belive her full job title is 'celebrity beauty editor'. You wouldn't expect some bog-standard beauty editor to be privy to the wonder of penta-peptides now would you.

robster (robster), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:52 (thirteen years ago) link

whos?

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:04 (thirteen years ago) link

so are plenitude action lipisomes an old technology now then? and whatever happened to carla williams? did she graduate from her hair and beauty course and do her friends still often ask her what to do with their hair? we must be told.

koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

It's the only excitement he's had to look forward to this summer. I never want to see an advert with a footballer in it ever again - esp. not if they have to talk/act.

¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:14 (thirteen years ago) link

'Are you a wax virgin?'

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:17 (thirteen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:22 (thirteen years ago) link

OTMs

¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

thank you. i doff my cap, as always.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

the real question is whether he'll have to get on the tube with it.

Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (thirteen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

hi dere dead inside

Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (thirteen years ago) link

you like that song!?

Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:34 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

Does he get as far as the fresh veg, then collapse holding his leg and crawl into the potatoes till the physio turns up?

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Cleverest advert of the moment: the Food Standards Agency one about barbecues with sausages sizzling and "When Will I See You Again?" on the soundtrack. "Sooner than you think if you don't cook them properly," flashes the caption. Quite good, that one.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

He appears in the advert even tho he hasn't collected a curry all year. Then he passes an Argentinian customer and falls over.

¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:43 (thirteen years ago) link

A grillion grillion worlds of OTM re: "wax virginity", with the bird who used to be on Hollyoaks but SORRY LOVE you're a brunette so it's off to screeching hen-night esque hellholes for you where you get attacked by Ming-Ra with her waxing strips and a bunch of chanting friends who then wax your ALREADY BARE LEGS FFS and "oooh it didn't hurt at all" - yes that's probably cos you've already had 2138472374 suggestively named cocktails and are anaestheticised to all feelings both physical and emotional.

The REAL worst thing is that I still have to buy them because the own brand ones are even WORSE! Urgh!!

Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:53 (thirteen years ago) link

I am irritated by, but also quite fond of them, in a pitying way, of the really obvious pre-op "ladies" on the Activia ads who keep saying they're "bloated". Ghost symptons mate. I mean COME ON one of them even wears the most obvious CHOKER in the world!

Is anyone ever actually "bloated"? We were discussing this in the park the other day. Doesn't it just mean "full"? Really? Or over-sensitivity to fat at emotional times of the month?

Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Haha the US Activia ads are silly too! Although they appear to have women who were born that way. With "front bottoms" and everything.

Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:02 (thirteen years ago) link

"Some people think the internet is a bad thing..."


... whereas I think your advertising campaign is shit thing

¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:05 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh yeah and with AOL wireless broadband is the same price as regular broadband. WTF? Their whole shtick is to make confused people even more confused, then present thim with the solution to a non-existent problem. Wankers.

beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Halifax.
Big Brovaz.
That is all.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:21 (thirteen years ago) link

"They're Gonna Taste Great! They're Gonna Taste Great!"

and still, those AA adverts. 1.) I think it would be pretty creepy to be stranded in the middle of nowhere while an army of flourscent-jacketed mechanics descend upon me and 2.) How inept are they if it takes that many to actually fix the damn car?

The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:32 (thirteen years ago) link

How fucking homoerotic is that Coke Zero advert?

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:03 (thirteen years ago) link

Coke Zero tastes like someone has put toothpaste in an ordinary can of Coke.... avoid!!

There's one horrific ad where a cat is walking around a bath-tub with an irritating Yorkshire bumpkin voiceover blaring stuff like "Oscar lahks to play around me bath! And ya just gotta laugh, when he sniffs round that plug'ole!". Ugh.

And also "It's better to get Curanail than be a Criminail!". Words fail me.

JTS (JTS), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

the Ford commercials with the old man who won american idols

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Fuck the Esure mouse with a great big rusty pole.

chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 11:53 (thirteen years ago) link

“When the doctor first told me…” - At the risk of sounding like an insensitive asshole, I cant fucking stand those ‘Exclusive Kylie Interview’ ads they have been running constantly on the sky channels. Ok, it sucks that you got cancer and everything but do I really want to hear you vent about it before, during and after every Simpsons episode? What makes them worse is that fucking woman interviewer trying to put on a face of careful consideration and understanding, complete with thoughtful head tilt, when really she just comes across as gormless moron who isn’t really listening. Actually, I don’t blame her.

Oh yeah and ‘you think you look the business, she thinks you look like a cocksucker. REACT.’ Fuck off.

Mark Lane (bob2), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

tracheotomy guy pisses me off so much

xpost

nervous (cochere), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:35 (thirteen years ago) link

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

OH GOD. We have one like that down here. It is a woman with--I guess it is a tracheotomy, it is really just a plug for the hole in her neck--and she talks about smoking and then TAKES OUT THE PLUG and talks through her scary neck hole and I have to change the channel every time it comes on because it freaks me out so much. :ccc I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:44 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...
Impossibly bright voice: "Everything in the world has a pulse...and now... so does a toothbrush!!!"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *looks round*... uhhhhhhhhhhh ... exsqueeze me?

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:13 (thirteen years ago) link

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.

also, obviously: 'the toast you never butter, the thread you never pwn...'

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:17 (thirteen years ago) link

that Jennifer Saunders Barclaycard one. FUCK. OFF.

Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:25 (thirteen years ago) link

fuckin a.

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:28 (thirteen years ago) link

why isn't she in a hopsital with that schizophrenic behaviour?

Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:30 (thirteen years ago) link

the pc world advert where the students and the sales person are discussing dual core processors.

"being students i bet you're not used to doing two things at once are you"

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music and 'download' email faster (at the same time) - i thought this would be more based on how quick their internet connection was?

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:31 (thirteen years ago) link

I hate that one for some fucking toothpaste or other? Or for dentures? Something to do with your teeth anyway? The one with the blonde woman? Who is supposed to be a company director or something? But, of course, she's an actress? And she talks like this? Where everything she says is a question? Even when it isn't? I think she's Irish? Or South African? Or something?

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:32 (thirteen years ago) link

'downloading emails' lol

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:34 (thirteen years ago) link

sorry i meant the other way around

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:42 (thirteen years ago) link

but it doesn't make any difference

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:43 (thirteen years ago) link

no i mean i think it is 'd/l emails' on the ad, and lol @ that.

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:47 (thirteen years ago) link

I haven't seen any of these ads!

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:48 (thirteen years ago) link

humax, all too humax.

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:50 (thirteen years ago) link

That's probably it! I am draining the advertising revenue lifeblood of commercial television. Oh dear. I feel guilty now.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Can't remember what it's for (anti-pong, possibly) but there's some businesswoman going about her day with SUPERHUMAN POWERS, such as making said product crash through walls, blowing up her treadmill by running too fast etc.

Bugs me most of all because they've popped in a shot of Canary Wharf outside her office window, but when she blows up the treadmill it clearly has a two-pin plug and the Underground train she crashes through the ground into looks more like the sort of thing you find in the States on or on the continent. Certainly not a Tube.

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 09:17 (thirteen years ago) link

The renaissance of Vauxhall's Zafira ad with the two "little old men" kids is starting to really hurt my brane. It's bad enough that it's on at all times of the day and night, but the follow-up where they're in the showroom and the shorter kids turns to his pal/brother and says "ahh, look at 'er eyes light up!" gives me the willies. Immensely irritating in itself but he then gives him a sideways glance that makes his pudgy face more terrifying than The Omen.

Konal OTM regarding Saunders too: "Get your own pop-ups!".

Bill A (Bill A), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 10:32 (thirteen years ago) link

i like that zafira ad!

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 11:59 (thirteen years ago) link

That Saunders ad is one of the reasons I gave up watching television. The plotline on EastEnders where Dawn poses as Ian's wife is the other one.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:08 (thirteen years ago) link

The one where the old man has his wife's tiny little false teeth in. Very disturbing.

Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:37 (thirteen years ago) link

The new Gilette Fusion advert falls into the 'so outrageously bad it's pretty good, but cynically and knowingly so, so in fact it's just plain awful' category. OTT is all well and good, but something as flagrantly knowing as this has no place on our screens.

Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:42 (thirteen years ago) link

The Tango one with people's heads cut out of paper and stuck onto smaller bodies and all wacky shit goes on. It freaks me out and doesn't make me want to drink Tango.

wogan lenin (dog latin), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Lynx are up to their usual shenanigans.

Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.
-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:17 AM. (later) (link)

"HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!! yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. "

(ah)

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:34 (thirteen years ago) link

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music

what, and BREAK THE LAW?

!

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 24 August 2006 20:13 (thirteen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.

Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Thursday, 24 August 2006 21:59 (thirteen years ago) link

the one where that bitch with the kid is having a slow day and she decides to buy a Hummer because it makes her feel tough, or at least that's what i get from it.

gear (gear), Thursday, 24 August 2006 22:45 (thirteen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.
-- Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle_vagu...), August 24th, 2006.

what the fuck?

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 07:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Not strictly an advert, but MTV keep running a trail where they describe Kasabian as "legendary".

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:41 (thirteen years ago) link

What about that one for a wart treatment (ha ha, a wart treatment, can you believe it?) called, and I may be wrong here but I'm sure this is correct, WARTNERS! The one where this drippy little twerp, who deserves to have his arse kicked every day of his life, is bemoaning the miserable life he had to lead before HIS MUM discovered this Wartners muck and applied it to liberally to his sorry ass (and other areas) - what 14 year old goes about beaming with joy about his mummy treating his friggin' warts?!??!

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:50 (thirteen years ago) link

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!


-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Today 8:37 AM. (later) (link)

Track is Touch Sensitive. The one about going behind a tree for a pee, etc.

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (thirteen years ago) link

what channels do you watch!!!???

xpost

animal bitrate (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (thirteen years ago) link

... maybe it was only on during the school holidays, the warty kids being indoors when the normal kids were all outside playin' and shit

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:58 (thirteen years ago) link

I remember during the Myra Hindley film, the adverts were very badly made as most high-profile companies knew better than to have their products endorsed during the most (supposedly) controversial film shown on TV.... there was one for "HISCOX INSURANCE" (hehe) which was basically a cue card reading "HISCOX INSURANCE" with a monotone voiceover..... truly, truly bizarre but muchly needed comic relief at the time!!!!

JTS (JTS), Friday, 25 August 2006 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link

"This is us, take away pizza and life on the go."

THEN WHY DO YOU NEED A FUCKING HUGE EXPENSIVE KITCHEN?

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link

I WANT "LEASE FOR NAUGHT" DEAD

PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:17 (thirteen years ago) link

any advert that says "you do the... we'll do the...". also that stupid "Bigsmall, a new word used to describe something that is big but also small" I mean GNUH GNUGH NGUH! As if the Spafe ad wasn't atroicious, you cuntos have to come along and rip it off and make it EVEN MORE FEEBLE!!

wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 09:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Magazine advert with Jeffrey Archer in it. GET OFF MY TELLY!

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:51 (thirteen years ago) link

"We work hard, so you don't have to"

=

"We work, so you have to pay us."

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (thirteen years ago) link

xxpost: OMG YES, DOG LATIN OTM, the Toyota Yaris advert is quite possibly the worst, most insulting, and most risible piece of CROLLOCKS (yeah, work that one out guys) I've ever seen. OMG I feel sick thinking about it now. ARGH!

Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (thirteen years ago) link

'bigsmall' seconded. don't like clement freud anyway.

a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:57 (thirteen years ago) link

also that Mr. Opportunity cartoon dude's "outtakes" is moranic

PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:05 (thirteen years ago) link

worst moment in history of television adverts:

"I'm a mother...but is there anyone else out there who sometimes feels a little...overwhelmed?"

*half of stadium (which contains everyone in the WORLD, lol) stands up*

Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:24 (thirteen years ago) link

Mr. Oppurtunity is SOOO budget. Classic case of big ad firm letting some senior exec who hasn't done anything creative since the late 60s come up with the creative.

No, worst ads ever are the VW ads where people are just driving along and suddenly get in a car accident. That kind of shit would make a movie R rated.

Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 19:35 (thirteen years ago) link

I hate it when Mr. Opportunity bangs on the glass of my television set. The fucking nerve he has to do that.

mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 20:04 (thirteen years ago) link

there's a triumvirate of industrial strength glue adverts that always seem to be aired together and all say exactly the same thing: 'superglue is now stronger. nomorenails is now stronger. (some tile adhesive) is now stronger (and anti-fungal)'. seems pointless.

(last nights was followed by a CILLIT BANG ADVERT, just to add insult to boredom)

(re the yaris advert, what took you? 8)

Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 07:45 (thirteen years ago) link

"If Jesus came to earth today they'd crucify him straight away upon a cross of MDF and they'd use No Need For Nails."

— HMHB, Upon Westminster Bridge

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:17 (thirteen years ago) link

That cunt from the Confused.com advert has been replaced by a less annoying woman. Don't think we've forgotten what you've done though, Confused.com. I am still going to track you down and gut every last motherfucking one of you with a rusty fruit knife.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:43 (thirteen years ago) link

oh god, the Skechers reality tv ad breaks my brain. OH NO, YOUR SKECHERS.

If you haven't seen it, it's here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io1rkAmupwY

Slumpman (Slump Man), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:51 (thirteen years ago) link

i can't tell if that ad is taking the piss or what

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:52 (thirteen years ago) link

I got my home insurance through confused.com :(

Earwig oh! (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Anything involving:

1. Evangelical churches
2. Perfume

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:15 (thirteen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!

Worse yet when they try and     have   them     dubOverThe   actress.

Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.

stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:44 (thirteen years ago) link

There used to be an advert with a v. famous actress - prolly Andie Macdowell - with her voice dubbed. WE KNOW WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE, NOBS.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:47 (thirteen years ago) link

And that horrible soya fruit drink advert. I got given a test carton of it, and it's nasty, but the advert nonsense of the highest order. I mean, what's even the point of that product? Is it for people who are lactose-intolerant AND allergic to Vitamin C? It's certainly not gonna get vaguely Mediterranean policemen doing an Irish jig.

I remember that Andy McNab advert. All shampoo adverts must die.

Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Have we talked about

"Mr Judge I urge you to..."
"Urge?"
"I've got the uuuurrrge"
"She's got the urge to 'erbal"

It just speeds ahead in terms of being irrelevant to anyone, let alone the UK.

wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I like the way the soya drink people are trying to pretend that we won't pronounce the name of their drink AIDS. Off the market in 3 months.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:52 (thirteen years ago) link

It is foul tasting muck too

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:53 (thirteen years ago) link

i think I started a thread about AdeZ. Apparently it had a phenomenal marketing budget.

wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Gotta do something with all that unwanted GM soya.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (thirteen years ago) link

It might have been a good idea to taste the stuff before trying to flog it

dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh! And Southern Comfort trying to convince us to order a "SoCo" while Jack Daniels would like us to think they make Ye Traditional Whisky, and not Drink That Means Fighting With The Police Later

stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:59 (thirteen years ago) link

I like fighting with the police.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:01 (thirteen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!
Worse yet when they try and have them dubOverThe actress.

Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.

-- stet (vmdnb900...) (webmail), Today 11:44 AM. (later) (link)


Plus, those ads contain German Humour. Which does not translate! It just makes UK viewers go ".... ?"

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:03 (thirteen years ago) link

There's one doing the rounds on daytime and digital where some ad exec has clearly decided that people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS need to be told over and over again that it is an advert aimed at people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, so the besuited man standing in front of a blank background says "LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS" over and over again, over-stressing the words LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS every time he does so.

"Do you have LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS? If you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS it can be very hard to get insurance, so people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS should try the insurance company that only takes on people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, like you. So, if you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, call Feckless Drivers Inc on....

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:21 (thirteen years ago) link

This thread need more youtube.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:35 (thirteen years ago) link

The moment youtube is introduced is the moment bad ads become ironically appealing ads and that would be a horrible thing :(

=== temporary username === (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:12 (thirteen years ago) link

"Do you have LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS? If you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS it can be very hard to get insurance, so people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS should try the insurance company that only takes on people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, like you. So, if you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, call Feckless Drivers Inc on....

It's basically TV spam innit

stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:15 (thirteen years ago) link

It would be if it was "xxLOE KNOCLAIMS BONUSS"

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:18 (thirteen years ago) link

A Nigerian 419 scammer advert would be the best thing ever.

I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:21 (thirteen years ago) link

beep.

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:31 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
those hmv adverts were they take a classic b&w film and add something in hmv corporate purple, i don't like those.

(on the other hand, i do keep seeing adverts for Echo & The Bunnymen. didn't think i'd live to see the day but apparently i have)

Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Monday, 18 September 2006 15:34 (thirteen years ago) link

There's a new British Gas advert which is fairly nondescript as adverts go, but the bloke doing the "we're dead nice, please get your gas from us" spiel is Jonny Regan from BB3. I thought he was a fireman?

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 19 September 2006 15:10 (thirteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...
C'mon!

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:38 (twelve years ago) link

Oh my God, there's a Frosties radio advertising campaign on just now where they ask kids to phone in and sing the Frosties advert. I heard it about five times last night in the space of an hour, with squawking out-of-tune brats going "they're gonna taste great", each ad done by kids from a different part of the country, so Glaswegian kids, Scouse kids, Geordie kids, etc. It actually makes you appreciate the wee git in the proper advert on the telly, which is some feat.

ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:45 (twelve years ago) link

the bloke with the woodpecker on his head. why? and why does the waiter say 'what's in your wallet?' at the end? it makes no sense.

Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

while Jack Daniels would like us to think they make Ye Traditional Whisky

I'm generally quite relaxed about all these adverts that seem to wind everyone else up (and am an active fan of the Frosties boy) but hearing that twat fake on in that cloying way about fucking "Mr Jack" and the good old boys of Moore County makes prohibition seem appealing. Even the Tube posters make me move down the platform.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 October 2006 07:07 (twelve years ago) link

Not just because they have affected my career, but because their ad makes no sense: Two or three horse-faced office twit women stand around talking about how one of them is going out with "Jenkins" simply on the basis that he recommended broadband for £14.99. None of it makes sense and Jenkins is this ugly little oik who is dwarfed by his staggeringly lanky date.

changed me name (dog latin), Thursday, 19 October 2006 15:06 (twelve years ago) link

In the BT ads yer man from My Family bought a house simply on the basis that they had a BT broadband router lying around!

ledge (ledge), Thursday, 19 October 2006 15:12 (twelve years ago) link

xpost

You missed out the fact that they imply that JENKINS FLASHED HIS SCHLONG AT HER AT THE BUS-STOP.

James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:34 (twelve years ago) link

xpost

Am I alone in hoping smug BT boyfriend dumps his older woman and she goes crazy apeshit mental and kills him, then the kids, then herself?

James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:35 (twelve years ago) link

The big Broadway Musical number - Chips, Glorious Chips - to advertise McCains Home Fries makes me want to throw things at the TV set. Do people really get paid to think up these adverts?

C J (C J), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:42 (twelve years ago) link

I was talking about that the other night. That advert must have cost a small fortune to make, and yet it makes me puke with annoyance.

James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:47 (twelve years ago) link

> JENKINS FLASHED HIS SCHLONG AT HER AT THE BUS-STOP.

yes, but isn't there also the implacation that she's going with him DESPITE that rather than BECAUSE of it?

Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:53 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, at which point you think "surely signing up with Tiscali and grassing him up to the rozzers are not mutually incompatible?"

James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:54 (twelve years ago) link

The big Broadway Musical number - Chips, Glorious Chips - to advertise McCains Home Fries makes me want to throw things at the TV set. Do people really get paid to think up these adverts?

haven't seen "chips, glorious chips" but the "big broadway musical number" idea is nothing new.

martha gives letterman the 'lick' (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:55 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...
i hope someone carjacks marc horowitz and strips his stupid nissan for parts.

gear (gear), Monday, 6 November 2006 03:56 (twelve years ago) link

We've said it already but C'MON! is so so so so shit! Why have such a seemingly elaborate advertising campaign for such a vapidly boring car?

wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:44 (twelve years ago) link

Those puppets in the Corsa ad are quite disturbing in a way that I can't quite put my finger on.

ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:46 (twelve years ago) link

no so much the ad but the product:

THREE-STAGE AIR "FRESHENER"

wtf?

not even freshener but fucking "christmasy" smells like wood and fire and shit.

WEIRD

benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:52 (twelve years ago) link

Fuck air freshener anyway. Who the fuck uses it? Cunts.

ledge (ledge), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:41 (twelve years ago) link

you're a pot pourri guy huh?

2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:42 (twelve years ago) link

I bought some of that Christmas air freshener because the landlady was coming round for an inspection. It made our flat smell like a branch of John Lewis.

wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:55 (twelve years ago) link

We've said it already but C'MON! is so so so so shit!

And yet... I didn't like it at first but, almost unheard of for an ad, it's growing on me.

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

=== temporary username === (Mark C), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:02 (twelve years ago) link

they're currently employing well-known writers

Marcello?

philip roth

benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:06 (twelve years ago) link

they're currently employing well-known writers

it never really occurred to me that someone actually sits down and writes that crap. probably takes about 6 months to write a 30 second ad.

jed_ (jed), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:15 (twelve years ago) link

probably get paid more for those 30 seconds than kafka earned in his life.

benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:15 (twelve years ago) link

i don't mind the BT family, probably cos I AM HIM

2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:17 (twelve years ago) link

you have a bumfluff mustache?

benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:18 (twelve years ago) link

is this the advert where everyone sits around looking like they've crapped their pants and muttering things about "download limits" and "chatting to each other online"?

wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:22 (twelve years ago) link

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:22 (twelve years ago) link

hahaha

benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:23 (twelve years ago) link

:D

jed_ (jed), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:24 (twelve years ago) link

?

Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:27 (twelve years ago) link

whuh?

wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:32 (twelve years ago) link

maybe RJG meant to quote it 12 times in that annoying way people do? (altho i don't know why he would)

2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:35 (twelve years ago) link

> it never really occurred to me that someone actually sits down and writes that crap.

salman rushdie famously started as a copywriter. 'naughty but nice' etc.

Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:38 (twelve years ago) link

I really don't understand the C'MON advert at all. What have little knitted people got to do with a car?

C J (C J), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:54 (twelve years ago) link

six months pass...

Details of a complaint made to the Advertising Standards Authority over 'Miracle Spring Water':
http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/adjudications/Public/TF_ADJ_42553.htm

I particularly like: "They believed that no-one had ordered the products as a result of the broadcasts".

Not the real Village People, Sunday, 20 May 2007 22:37 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Ugh. Anyone seen the advert (I think it's for Heineken or Kronenbourg - some foreign beer anyway) with the woman in the bath with the lobster? The concept is not funny, not even remotely, it's just fucking crap but the scene with the lobster is actually repellent, there's something creepy and obscene about it, it fair made my flesh crawl, I'm tellin' ya.

Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:07 (twelve years ago) link

Also that advert with the woodpecker peckin' on the side of the guy's head with the smug waiter WHO IS IN ABOUT 1000 OTHER ADVERTS at the moment - get a proper job, dickhead!

Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:11 (twelve years ago) link

It is creepy (the Heineken ad). But more than that it's just crap.

See it here...
http://www.duncans.tv/2007/heineken-lobster
(NSFTomD)

...and read hilarious Marketing Director as he explains it..
With our new campaign we’re targeting successful, well travelled, male urbanites who, like a growing number of consumers, are seeking out more authentic and individual brands and experiences.”

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:17 (twelve years ago) link

taht car ad that rips off <insert any indie pop song>

nathalie, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:20 (twelve years ago) link

I hate that lobster one as well. It's for Heineken. I hate the creepy lobster, but I also hate the idea of "hey, Brits, stop whining that we put a head on your beer and so you got less beer for your money. It's European!"

I also hate those FUCKING memory hotel ads, and they are on ALL THE TIME. Clearly someone spent a huge amount of money on them, and they're just rubbish. I had to see the first one three times before I understood the concept.

Also, as I said on another thread, the Ariel ads suggesting that people turn to 30 degrees on their washing machine. Fine, except that the woman in the ad blatantly turns her washing machine to something other than 30 degrees. Stupid.

accentmonkey, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:21 (twelve years ago) link

The advert with the two guys chained on the gates outside a factory - I realise this must have been a rush job for the advertising agency after the Mastication For the Nation campaign got pulled but, nonetheless, LAME-O. I've got a horrible feeling the waiter from the woodpecker advert might be in this one too...

Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:26 (twelve years ago) link

don't diss folks in ads Tom D it's silly money for little work. allegedly.

acrobat, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:30 (twelve years ago) link

bILL hICKS TO THREAD.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:33 (twelve years ago) link

oOPS CAPS off...

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:33 (twelve years ago) link

don't diss folks in ads Tom D it's silly money for little work. allegedly.

I know that but it annoys me seeing the same faces in different adverts.

Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:36 (twelve years ago) link

I know that but it annoys me seeing the same faces in different adverts.

it annoys me when TV presenters are on more than one channel e.g. Lauren Laverne on BBC's The Culture Show trying to get a rise out of Dizzee Rascal, and then next week Lauren Laverne on C4's Transmission trying to get a rise out of Dizzee Rascal.

the lobster ad doesn't seem THAT bad. not as bad as the beer ad a few years back with the woman getting her husband to clean the house with his tongue, or countless other tacky beer ads.

can't think of any good recent beer ads. bring back the talking John Smiths horses etc.

blueski, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

Worst beer ad slogan "mannen weten waarom" (men know why) for Jupiler. GRRRRRR.

nathalie, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

During my recent brief visit to the states I saw an advert for a bank or aftershave or something I dunno, which used, without any apparent irony, the song with the following lyrics:

Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don't
Do I have to come right
Flat out and tell
you everything?
Gimme some money
Gimme some money

If you recognise the song hopefully you will share my WHAT THE SHIT sentiments.

ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 14:49 (twelve years ago) link

Oh ok it was by The Thamesman aka Spinal Tap (originally, they used a cover in the ad).

ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:02 (twelve years ago) link

"Lick the lid of life"!!

One of the ads is exrEMELY Creepy!!

Mark G, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:04 (twelve years ago) link

WATER SPORTS, GOAT CHEESE PIZZA, HEROIN AND CHEVROLET

David R., Friday, 13 July 2007 15:06 (twelve years ago) link

?!

Also the plethora of ads dredging up obscure novelty songs from the earlier decades of the last century, like that blubba blubba whatever tongue wobbling one for car insurance, or the yankee choir singing about april showers for some mobile telco - CUT IT OUT. Christ it's not even as if I would particularly hate the songs normally but being forced to listen to the same 30 second snippets over and over again...

ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:08 (twelve years ago) link

I have recently seen Kevin Trudeau's informercial _Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About_ . I thought that shit, that is more than stupid lies - it was criminally irresponsible, was b& from tv everywhere.......
if i see it again I'll remember the channel and join the multitude of official complaints.

Sébastien, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:22 (twelve years ago) link

three months pass...

i seriously have no idea for the appeal of the cadbury ad. it's NOTHING

i'm really sorry for bringing it up here, but my work colleague has pushed me into it by blabbering on about how she's a member of some stupid facebook or myspace group dedicated to the 'brilliant and hilarious' ape.

omg shoot world now

Ste, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:25 (eleven years ago) link

agree. what's the big deal?

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:28 (eleven years ago) link

Yes. Plus I've only just realised it's an ad for chocolate.

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:31 (eleven years ago) link

It's a gorilla playing some drums. It does make me wonder what it is you look for from your ads? Information on the excellent product being hawked? Do you like Cillit Bang?

I agree though that I don't see why Cadburys, of all people, went for this ad. There are many "quirkier" brands, or brands who might seek to be leftfield in some way, who could have done something similar. But Cadburys? What benefit do they get from this kind of "edgy" "credibility"?

Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:32 (eleven years ago) link

It does make me wonder what it is you look for from your ads?

Advertising agency awards I imagine. Don't know what the companies actually paying for the ads think they're getting.

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:33 (eleven years ago) link

i don't want anything from ads really -- but why the fuss over this entirely average ad?

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:38 (eleven years ago) link

Also I am sooooooooooooooooo fed up hearing adverts with drippy nu-folk troubadours on the soundtrack... fuck off you useless hippy cunts, the 60s was 40 years ago!

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:40 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, Banhart can go fuck himself.

As for the drumming ape- I imagine people who enjoy it sit at home clapping their hands in idiotic delight, while shouting "Gorilla! Gorilla!"

Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:44 (eleven years ago) link

But Cadburys? What benefit do they get from this kind of "edgy" "credibility"?

People willing to overlook their betrayal of their Quaker origins, by outsourcing jobs abroad so they can sell off land at huge profit for housing?

aldo, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:48 (eleven years ago) link

I like the Cadburys ad. Well, I've only seen it once, but I laughed.

Ronan, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:51 (eleven years ago) link

Is it even supposed to be funny?

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:52 (eleven years ago) link

I guess in a way that ad execs believe to be ironic and edgy, i.e. not at all. The attempted rehabilitation of baked bean head Collins is another of its crimes.

Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:56 (eleven years ago) link

It is pretty funny. Why would it be ironic/edgy? Or how does it betray an attempt to be such things? That's just pure projection.

It is a gorilla beating a drumkit. It has nothing to do with the product. What's edgy or ironic about it? It's just abstract and slapstick and stupid.

Ronan, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:58 (eleven years ago) link

Edgy? Has this word changed its meaning without anyone telling me or something?

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:58 (eleven years ago) link

I'm not saying I think it's edgy! I suppose I'm projecting, but I can imagine an ad exec pitching it to Cadburys as edgy, insofar as it doesn't reference the product at all, apart from the colour scheme and typography.

Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:01 (eleven years ago) link

The kids haven't seen the full version, all they see is the one where you see the gorilla briefly, with drumsticks, and the Dairy Milk logo.

YEAH OK YOU MADE AN ADVERT, DAIRLY MILK PEOPLE. WHAT, TOO CHEAP TO LET US SEE IT ANYMORE?

The long version, on seeing it the first time, had a certain "what is this? cache, before it unfolds. but then .... it's a joke you know the punchline to.

Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:02 (eleven years ago) link

Dairy Milk
Dairly Milk
Daily Mailk
Daily Mail.

Carry on!

Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:02 (eleven years ago) link

it's not edgy so much as... LOL it's okay we've caught up with the americans and it's acceptible to use phil collins or some revisionist bullshit.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:04 (eleven years ago) link

They prob'ly think it's "viral" or sumthin'

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:06 (eleven years ago) link

LOL it's okay we've caught up with the americans and it's acceptible to use phil collins or some revisionist bullshit.

i am afraid to know what this means

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:08 (eleven years ago) link

I like that commercial with that fruity French bee trying to have bee sex with a flower. I hate that stupid bee.

burt_stanton, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:09 (eleven years ago) link

people aren't necessarily sposed to actually like adverts are they? just as long as they remember them and don't dislike them to the point where they are put off by the product.

it's provoked conversation and consternation so presumably both cadburys and teh ad-makers are sitting rather smugly at the moment.

Upt0eleven, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:10 (eleven years ago) link

I think it's only in cinemas but I detest that "history of Ben & Jerry in 30 seconds" advert, especially with its asinine "save planet" bit at the end.

Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:12 (eleven years ago) link

word

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:13 (eleven years ago) link

"Save the planet, buy ice cream"?

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:15 (eleven years ago) link

actually ben & jerry's is hailed as an industry leader in "green" packaging, down to the ink on its cartons (i can explain more but it's all out there somewhere).

get bent, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:20 (eleven years ago) link

it's provoked conversation and consternation so presumably both cadburys and teh ad-makers are sitting rather smugly at the moment.

Yeah, by hating on it we're playing right into their hands!

Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:20 (eleven years ago) link

The B&J one's one of those traditional self serving puff piece movies that make the client feel good about thimselves. To the point of org, tbh!

Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:21 (eleven years ago) link

(xp) I don't know what they're so smug about, I'm not eating any more of their chocolate than I did before. But then, altho I've seen the ad lots of time, I didn't even know it was for Cadburys!

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:23 (eleven years ago) link

"Save the planet, buy ice cream"?
Nah, they say it in the context of a snippet about their Climate Change College, which seems to involve sending competition winners on a (one hopes carbon-neutral) trip to the Artic Circle. But even if this programme is of use, and their packaging is green, the flip yadda yadda way in which they say "save planet" before moving on really winds me up.

Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:25 (eleven years ago) link

Kettle Chips trying to make people forget about the whole union-busting episode with possibly the cheapest-looking advert on tv at the moment.

Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:27 (eleven years ago) link

Any firms who actually ARE taking meaningful green initiatives have every right to be smug about it imo.

Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:28 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/about_us/environment/

get bent, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:29 (eleven years ago) link

why?

xpost

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:32 (eleven years ago) link

huh?

Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:33 (eleven years ago) link

Any advert that mentions or emphasises Green issues is instantly turned off in my household - you're trying to sell me stuff and that's it. Period.

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:34 (eleven years ago) link

You actually turn your telly off? Do you just sit there counting out 30 seconds & then turn it back on again?

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) link

You're supposed to go and make a cup of tea aren't you? Traditionally...

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) link

UK adland is in the grip of a sustained push of all manner of revolting air freshener devices currently. Definite lowlights are the poorly dubbed euro-ad which opens with "it's bad enough when your house smells of fish" - come again? Also, the hideous CGI squirrel household with their woefully animated visitors and ceaseless trumpeting of the "soothing light" built into the device makes me want to eviscerate the marketing gonk that decided this was the added-value their customers demand.

As for the drumming gorilla, well on first viewing I thought it passable but since then (as mentioned upthread) every other wall post I get on facebook seems intent on including it because it's *so* hilarious...

(on the opposite side of the coin, I thought the recent ads for Halo 3 with the huge model diorama and Chopin soundtrack were, frankly, wonderful - best of the year by some margin)

Bill A, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:50 (eleven years ago) link

air freshener is weird, period.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:51 (eleven years ago) link

the worst thing about the dairy milk ad is the showing ratio of full thing to reminder. I don't really dislike the ad itself but the frequent reminder does help make me

RJG, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:52 (eleven years ago) link

(x-post)

OTM - Is it really enough of a moneyspinner for EVERY household products company in the country to advertise it during EVERY damned break!?

Bill A, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:53 (eleven years ago) link

Mark, I don't think smugness is ever something justified on an issue as big as this.

You could argue that any good work they may be doing with their green initiatives is undone by the impression they are giving in this advert that climate-change-related planet-saving* is something so trivial that it can be singlehandedly achieved by one ice-cream manufacturer.

*really human-saving

Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) link

Definite lowlights are the poorly dubbed euro-ad which opens with "it's bad enough when your house smells of fish" - come again?

Ha ha, yes. I always say, in my head, "But it doesn't" when that come on. Also the advert that uses the word "fragrancing".

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) link

not a word^

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:56 (eleven years ago) link

I don't know what they're so smug about, I'm not eating any more of their chocolate than I did before. But then, altho I've seen the ad lots of time, I didn't even know it was for Cadburys!

To the extent to which I understand it - which is not much - there are ads that are designed to make you want to rush out immediately and buy the product, and those which are designed to embed the brand in your subconscious, such that when you next go out to buy a chocolate bar for example, you get a dairy milk.

I know it's a lot more complicated than that but the gorilla one is definitely in the latter category.

Upt0eleven, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:58 (eleven years ago) link

cadbury perhaps taking a leaf out of orange's book...? I know kate moross did some of their print ads

the monkey one is OK; it does almost have the feel of a viral, despite being shot for TV

czn, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) link

Oh man, I've just remembered, there's an advert for a digital camera (I assume) with a couple in Italy or France or somewhere, at one point they're on a boat with a buncha nuns and then having a meal later on, and the guy has the most fucking irritating smug gurning fucking kickable slappable face

Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 13:01 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

oh no, Greggs bakery advert with the bloke from max and paddy. heavens.

Ste, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:49 (eleven years ago) link

speak american

sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:51 (eleven years ago) link

pls

sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:51 (eleven years ago) link

yeh dat one's a bladdy noightmare gav

That mong guy that's shit, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:52 (eleven years ago) link

"Throw-On"

Ste, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:53 (eleven years ago) link

Corr bloimey that Miller Loite advert with the old boike is a roight royal pain in the Marble Arch it's a roight two an eight Queen Mum Gawd bless 'er only ever killed her own &c.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:59 (eleven years ago) link

I'm not sure if it's on TV, but the cinema ads for Australia ending with that warmer shouting "So where the bloody hell are you?" have started appearing in print too, I note with horror.

Alba, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:13 (eleven years ago) link

Definitely some homoerotic shiznit going on in the Subway advert at the moment.

the next grozart, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

injurylawers4u ad with eastenders' johnny allen

DG, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:25 (eleven years ago) link

oh yes! that one is excellent. "you could sit around and shrug your shoulders like a poofter, but if you're a real man you'll let us rinse the fuck out of those bastards for every penny they have"... or something to that effect.

the next grozart, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:32 (eleven years ago) link

> speak american

there's an american equivalent of this thread somewhere

oh - most annoying commercial now running

koogs, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

(actually there's a newer one than that, must be. can't find it though)

koogs, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

there's a tube advert for some aussie 'long' hair product that actually makes me want homicide legalised

Just got offed, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:44 (eleven years ago) link

wow

sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 18:24 (eleven years ago) link

Any of the "howard" halifax adverts. That new one with the beach boys song is the worst yet.

Herman G. Neuname, Friday, 11 January 2008 22:55 (eleven years ago) link

those carling ads

DG, Friday, 11 January 2008 22:56 (eleven years ago) link

oh my fucking god, i just saw the halifax beach boys ad. That's pretty bad even by halifax howard ads standards.

Ste, Saturday, 12 January 2008 02:24 (eleven years ago) link

Moonpig... Moonpig... MOONPIG... MOONPIG DOT COM

Tom D., Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:17 (eleven years ago) link

New slim fast advert, extended song.

pure fucking evil

Jarlrmai, Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:30 (eleven years ago) link

The one with Suggs where it's blatantly inferred that he's tapping the underage daughter.

Lynskey, Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:33 (eleven years ago) link

That new Halifax advert truly is the worst yet. I really really hate Howard even more and he's barely in it. Boycott the Halifax!!

Herman G. Neuname, Saturday, 12 January 2008 15:37 (eleven years ago) link

New slim fast advert, extended song.

pure fucking evil

Agreed - it makes me want to kill people whenever I see it. I thought "I'm snacking on PRETZELS!!11!!" was bad enough but this.... arghrghgrhgrhrghrhhhhh I blame the Americans. Every single one of those terms used is from the US of Uncle Stateside.

Not the real Village People, Saturday, 12 January 2008 16:07 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfDsl0qaNSk

Internets

Jarlrmai, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:37 (eleven years ago) link

confused.com ads are the worst. "hey you know what would look cool on TV? CLIP ART"

blueski, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:38 (eleven years ago) link

the wistful american idol ads

Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:50 (eleven years ago) link

Carol Vorderman on Farmfoods. Does she really need the money?

JTS, Sunday, 13 January 2008 10:51 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

it's not a detergent, it's a SAFE-TERGENT!!!!!!!!!

DG, Saturday, 2 February 2008 15:29 (eleven years ago) link

injurylawers4u ad with eastenders' johnny allen

I've just seen one of these. "You might think that suing others is selfish, but there's this little thing called karma. The universe needs a karmic balance and if you don't make them pay then the universe will implode and it will be your fault. Who's selfish now, eh?"

limón, Saturday, 2 February 2008 16:25 (eleven years ago) link

I don't understand why you'd want your company represented by a former bent copper/gangster.

Noodle Vague, Saturday, 2 February 2008 16:27 (eleven years ago) link

john hannah's smug caledonian face on those virgin atlantic ads

DG, Saturday, 2 February 2008 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

honourable mention to pc world

DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:17 (eleven years ago) link

Perennial classic. Always love the bullshit random specs the "employees" are casually discussing.

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:26 (eleven years ago) link

I dunno if it's 'worst', strictly, but bloody hell that Western Australia ad is a wee bit up itself. "Come and see the REAL Australia - It's four hours nearer than Sydney!"

William Bloody Swygart, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:27 (eleven years ago) link

80 GIGABYTE HARD DISK???????????????????

DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:31 (eleven years ago) link

WTF is 2 Gig of "Memory"?

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:32 (eleven years ago) link

"We need Dual-Core and a 17" monitor!"

William Bloody Swygart, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:53 (eleven years ago) link

i liked the one with the smiling silent Tech Guy who pops round to install your pc and presumably also to copy your keys and come back while you sleep and slit your throat

DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:55 (eleven years ago) link

Has Karl Howman finally lost the Flash contract? RIP Big Fella

Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 13:15 (eleven years ago) link

Not annoying or anything, more just an abject (and presumably expensive) failure: the Virgin Broadband campaign with Uma Thurman. The original ones a year or so ago lit her in the most unflattering way, made her look really haggard, and gave her a terrible script that was cringemakingly charmless in its attempt to be what ... sultry? Intimate?

Now they've gone one step further with their "high-speed" push by putting her in a sodding wind tunnel so that her skin is pulled off her face faster than gravity can manage. It's horrible. Hiring a Hollywood pin-up to lend glamour to your product then systematically defiling her looks - not smart.

Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:20 (eleven years ago) link

Looking at them again on YouTube, I think I overstressed her looks in what makes them so bad. And I don't think it's intimacy or sultriness they're trying for. It's more just beating you over the head with what a big star they've landed, hoping that if they get her to say "I'm Uma Thurman, the sexy film star" as blatantly as possible, over and over again, we'll be impressed. Lady, if you have to tell us.

Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:31 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

oh hey the norton finance hurdle advert is back, a new era dawns

DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 12:45 (eleven years ago) link

The homoerotic Walker's Crisps one with Gary Lineker and the Arctic Monkeys.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 13:00 (eleven years ago) link

Looking at them again on YouTube, I think I overstressed her looks in what makes them so bad. And I don't think it's intimacy or sultriness they're trying for. It's more just beating you over the head with what a big star they've landed, hoping that if they get her to say "I'm Uma Thurman, the sexy film star" as blatantly as possible, over and over again, we'll be impressed. Lady, if you have to tell us.

-- Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:31 (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

Funnily enough, some interviewer asked her if she had Virgin Broadband, she said no as she hasn't got a home in the UK, and they don't serve the US. So, yeah.

Mark G, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 13:27 (eleven years ago) link

Didn't they replace her with Ruby Wax for a while? Or was that a nightmareish vision I had??

JTS, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:24 (eleven years ago) link

no it was real :(

DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:31 (eleven years ago) link

The new ones from the Spanish tourist board are... sinister. They have this family, but shoot them at really odd angles in a bleached-out-nouvelle-vague fashion with nothing but the sound of the sea fading in and out. It looks as though something really terrible is about to happen and then they're all 'Visit Spain!'

Yes, certainly, visit Spain and by the look of the adverts one of the following will happen:

- Mother falls into sea, drowns, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.
- Father sleeps with cocktail waitress, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.
- Child snatched a la Madeleine McCann, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.

Anna, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:52 (eleven years ago) link

The homoerotic Walker's Crisps one with Gary Lineker and the Arctic Monkeys.

Arctic Monkeys? Youtube comes up with nowt.

Billy Dods, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:56 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5d0agRpuSo

this just confuses me

Crackle Box, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 15:04 (eleven years ago) link

The new ones from the Spanish tourist board are... sinister.

ha! you didn't see the ad for portugal

DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 15:06 (eleven years ago) link

This monstrosity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLXMxU-FC1E

Slumpman, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:53 (eleven years ago) link

really, how dare they!

Slumpman, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:54 (eleven years ago) link

the currys ads are back too! three cheers

DG, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:55 (eleven years ago) link

xp are they... crimping?

ledge, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:58 (eleven years ago) link

That Sugar Puffs ad is a disgrace! No doubt the coke-raddled "creative" who pitched it would argue it's a homage to The Mighty Boosh, but fucking hell that is some seriously shitty crimp that they have come up with.

Horrible on its own terms and it even cheapens the crimps that have gone before. That almost defines imaginative bankruptcy!

Bill A, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:35 (eleven years ago) link

It not only cheapens the crimp, it cheapens the honey monster. he was brought of retirement for this

Slumpman, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:37 (eleven years ago) link

Damn right. Also, they bring the poor bastard back and he doesn't even get to drop a "Tell 'em about the honey, mummy". They've basically turned him into a Poochie...

Bill A, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:43 (eleven years ago) link

fuck that sugar puffs ad on general principle, mighty boosh or no.

Mikey Bidness, Sunday, 16 March 2008 02:05 (eleven years ago) link

S'like when McDonalds ripped off Viz's Top Tips, innit.

Bodrick III, Sunday, 16 March 2008 12:49 (eleven years ago) link

Bruce Hutton, Bray Leino managing director, says: “Honey Monster is without doubt one of the classic TV ad characters. Having not been on screen for some years, we wanted to give Honey Monster the chance to express himself in a new contemporary way that only he could.

“But it was essential in doing this that we remained true to the tradition of him being seen as a fun character that kids everywhere would love to have at their breakfast tables. We feel his latest antics bring him up to date and have the power to get people talking.”

Slumpman, Sunday, 16 March 2008 15:34 (eleven years ago) link

really hate the advert that uses 'she's like a rainbow', whatever it's for.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 15:37 (eleven years ago) link

With the rabbits! Sony Bravia. It's highly acclaimed, you're not allowed not to like it.

Alba, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:52 (eleven years ago) link

hate that song

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:53 (eleven years ago) link

I like that song, but seeing it every time I walk past the Sony concession in Debenhams is getting me tired of it.

Mark G, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:56 (eleven years ago) link

The one where the grandmother checks out Jamie Oliver's bum and he turns around and goes "cheeky!"

Makes me want to reach through the screen and strangle humanity.

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

God yes. I hate how every twat standing around in that advert is pissing themselves laughing.

chap, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:43 (eleven years ago) link

hate that song

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:53 (49 minutes ago)

would post to the 'posts very much in character' thread but, y'know

blueski, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:43 (eleven years ago) link

The latest Foster's advert is inoffensive enough apart from the way they've fucked around with the lyrics to Violent Femme's Blister in the Sun: instead of being 'strung out' he's 'hung out' (what does that even mean?), and instead of being 'high as a kite' he now claims to 'fly like a kite'.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Sunday, 23 March 2008 13:20 (eleven years ago) link

The Toyota Yaris 'treat them with respect' adverts where they screw people up just because they happen to have shut the door with their feet or got a little dirt on their car. What a couple of self obsessed, judgemental, materialistic fucks.

Billy Dods, Sunday, 23 March 2008 14:18 (eleven years ago) link

ITV boat race ad, lol gladiator

DG, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:37 (eleven years ago) link

DHS, chainsaw, wtf

Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:39 (eleven years ago) link

DFS should be barred from this thread, they wipe the floor with everyone

DG, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:42 (eleven years ago) link

Lenny Henry, Premier Inn - at last, Britain's own Jay Leno/Doritos/Point Of No Return.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:28 (eleven years ago) link

What I find amazing is how certain adverts turn up on certain channels. OK, I admit it, I spend too much time watching NME TV (certainly far too much as I haven't read a copy in 8 years and am touching 40 years old but it's worth it to see my two year old son dancing to "Balloons"), but the adverts on there between the videos are so incongruous for the target audience - it's all Cilla Black selling life assurance and InjuryLawyers4U. WTF?

Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:35 (eleven years ago) link

Only pensioners read the NME?

SERIOUS SYSTEMS THINKING REQUIRED on part of CRACKPOT CONOR!!

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:36 (eleven years ago) link

Well, pensioners and doleites I guess.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:37 (eleven years ago) link

And occasional househusbands like me.

Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:40 (eleven years ago) link

Lots of confused.com and Purple Loans input, I guess.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:45 (eleven years ago) link

Gocompare, Moneysupermarket, but thankfully no Picture The Loan. Oh, but plenty of that dreadful One Account advert with that cheery chap in the call centre talking about shrinking people's mortgages.

(Speaking as a person currently sitting in a call centre taking calls, we are not like that at all)

Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:48 (eleven years ago) link

How many actual music-related adverts does NME TV get?

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:07 (eleven years ago) link

I'm thinking "David Garrett £7.27 at Tesco" level but as ever I stand to be corrected.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:07 (eleven years ago) link

Apart from the NME advertising itself on a regular basis, precisely none.

Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:10 (eleven years ago) link

Lenny Henry, Premier Inn - at last, Britain's own Jay Leno/Doritos/Point Of No Return

Imagine his agent phoning up "that guy who was Hazell" and saying, "Hi, That Guy Who Was Hazell? It's your agent, here. Look, I've got a great job for you... yeah... how do you fancy pretending to be Lenny Henry's road manager/gay lover in a series of adverts for a middle-ranking hotel chain?"

Tom D., Friday, 28 March 2008 12:12 (eleven years ago) link

Those Taco Bell ad where everyone has long glops of melted cheese hanging out of their mouths is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on tv.

Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 00:14 (eleven years ago) link

All Government adverts re. benefit fraud, car crushing etc. with unsubtle subtext of WE RULE AND WE'LL GET YOU AND FUCK YOU UP ANY TIME WE LIKE

Anywhere else there would have been a revolution by now etc.

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:45 (eleven years ago) link

And then there's the one where they blame climate change on us for leaving the TV on standby

Tom D., Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:49 (eleven years ago) link

There's always Nicky Campbell to save us tho. (xpost)

Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:51 (eleven years ago) link

Can't I have Julia Bradbury instead?

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:54 (eleven years ago) link

No mention of the Marks & Spencer 'Lighthouse keeper' ad? Ordinarily the idea of models cavorting on a beach wearing only underwear would fill me with glee but that ad makes me want to kick the tv box in.

Billy Dods, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:56 (eleven years ago) link

"how abought yghoooooo?"

The Kids' favourite, at the mo.

Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:57 (eleven years ago) link

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

Fair enough, but do they have to be on all the time? So she's lost the folder with all the kids' photos? So as the kids were born before the advent of the digital camera, this means she must have digitised the originals and then BURNT THEM. Evil bitch.

Tom D., Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:00 (eleven years ago) link

one word

Flake

Ste, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:06 (eleven years ago) link

Not as bad as I was expecting, the Joss Flake one.

M&S ads in general - awful, especially Erin "Thunderbirds Puppet" O'Connor and Myleene "Opening Of An Envelope" Klass.

Kris Marshall should be KRUCIFIED!

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:10 (eleven years ago) link

No mention of the Marks & Spencer 'Lighthouse keeper' ad? Ordinarily the idea of models cavorting on a beach wearing only underwear would fill me with glee but that ad makes me want to kick the tv box in.

-- Billy Dods, Tuesday, April 1, 2008 9:56 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Seriously, having watched these, I would ruin Erin O'Connor hardcore. Plasterer's radio, man.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:11 (eleven years ago) link

I don't like the sound of that.

Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:00 (eleven years ago) link

That M&S Lighthouse Keeper advert goes in one eye and out the other, if you follow the analogy. Didn't even realise it was for M&S until you lot mentioned it, and I've seen it loads of times. Show how effective that was.

Rob M v2, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:35 (eleven years ago) link

That song just makes me think of A Clockwork Orange.

Raw Patrick, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:40 (eleven years ago) link

Show how effective that was.

most people would recognise the models from the previous M&S ads tho surely

blueski, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:46 (eleven years ago) link

Noemie Lenoir is somewhat hot in that ad too.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:48 (eleven years ago) link

Obviously wasn't watching too closely either. Frankly I wouldn't recognise these people if they thumped me in the face, except for Myleene Klass who I would thump back.

Rob M v2, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:28 (eleven years ago) link

Not of stalking standard Rob, huh?

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:29 (eleven years ago) link

sad to see the previously high-production-value woolite adverts head down the same shoddily-dubbed road as cillit bang :(

DG, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:58 (eleven years ago) link

The new Skechers advert. Sweet christ.

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:36 (eleven years ago) link

the Bianca Jackson Five thing is kind of an ad. and genuinely the worst thing i have ever seen.

blueski, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:41 (eleven years ago) link

That Tesco ad with Martin Clunes in a wetsuit and Fay Ripley demonstrating exactly why she doesn't have a TV career any more.

ailsa, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:44 (eleven years ago) link

The Clarks ad on uk tv that is trying far too hard to be wistfully twee with a catchy indie song a-la the sonybravia or tmobile ads. It Fails.

Slumpman, Monday, 7 April 2008 23:01 (eleven years ago) link

>The new Skechers advert. Sweet christ

OTM. Both of these ads (ie. mens and womens ranges) are of a quality that could be knocked up by three drunks with a camcorder in an afternoon. Given the size of the Skechers brand it boggles me that their marketing have actually okayed them. Also, those skechers are *hideous*.

Bill A, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:26 (eleven years ago) link

That Tesco ad is a satire on ridiculous product placements in dramas.

So, I vote it OK.

Mark G, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:32 (eleven years ago) link

aren't the Skechers ads meant to be deliberately/ironically naff? i haven't seen the latest ones tho

blueski, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:39 (eleven years ago) link

Fair enough, but do they have to be on all the time? So she's lost the folder with all the kids' photos? So as the kids were born before the advent of the digital camera, this means she must have digitised the originals and then BURNT THEM. Evil bitch.

no wai she had a cannon ion 640x480 greyscale and all.

Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:47 (eleven years ago) link

The new one where he drops his trousers and she ignores him and carries on talking to her friend on the phone is the oddest yet.

Zoe Espera, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:05 (eleven years ago) link

The Bianca Jackson Five will be the year's biggest selling single.

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:58 (eleven years ago) link

Sketechers need to go back to being advertised by Christina Aguilera in PVC.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:59 (eleven years ago) link

the energy drink commercial that promises "zero sugar." zero is a number; it is not grammatically the same as "no." it's like saying "two sugar."

signed,
one pedant

get bent, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:46 (eleven years ago) link

Somerfield!

DG, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:49 (eleven years ago) link

one is also a number. You can say "one sugar" right?

Mark G, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:53 (eleven years ago) link

if you're in a greasy spoon!

get bent, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:55 (eleven years ago) link

Irrationality annoyed by the advert for the film "21", bit where they says "Taken from the true story." ... uhhhhhhhhhh, are you going to end that sentence? ... so... like, the true story.... what true story?... the true story?... the only one ever?... or the only one that has mattered in the lives of millions in the past few years, that I am some kind of inadequate for not being familiar with?... that true story?... The True Story?

Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:00 (eleven years ago) link

oh you know, *that* true story - a man goes to vegas and wins money on black jack. oh *that* one.

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:22 (eleven years ago) link

and Cadbury's have annoyed me yet again with their new 'oh look we're being clever and not referring to our product, OH BUT LOOK THE SKY IS PURPLE' airport racing advert.

but the trouble is, the advert itself is very very boring.

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:24 (eleven years ago) link

(Queen song is the only redeeming feature)

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:24 (eleven years ago) link

After seeing Highlander again recently I would like to see more adverts & movies featuring "Princes of the Universe". Best film beginning EVER

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:25 (eleven years ago) link

What a boring choice of song.

I was hoping for "The Lone Ranger" by Quantum Jump.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:28 (eleven years ago) link

Any advert with Samuel L. Jackson in it is annoying

Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:29 (eleven years ago) link

Also fed up hearing Judi Dench selling stuff

Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:29 (eleven years ago) link

An old gripe, but Tesco "Every little helps" catchphrase: every little WHAT helps WHOM???

Neil S, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:48 (eleven years ago) link

"Money" and "Tesco" of course.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:04 (eleven years ago) link

Dairy Milk ad is a hit with me purely for the AIRPORT VEHICLES ARE AWESOME angle

i went out and bought several this morning

blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:23 (eleven years ago) link

one is also a number. You can say "one sugar" right?

If you treat 'sugar' as a countable noun (where it's short for 'one spoonful of sugar' or 'one lump of sugar') then they should really be saying "Zero sugars".

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:40 (eleven years ago) link

u bought several airport vehicles this morning?

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:06 (eleven years ago) link

Also hate "... why go compare somewhere else?" I wouldn't "go compare" anywhere, thank you very much.

Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:11 (eleven years ago) link

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:48 (eleven years ago) link

the energy drink commercial that promises "zero sugar." zero is a number; it is not grammatically the same as "no." it's like saying "two sugar."

signed,
one pedant

We need a zero tolerance policy against this kind of thing.

Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:05 (eleven years ago) link

isnt that an FDA thing, where they can say "zero," but not "no"?

69, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:12 (eleven years ago) link

like its a small enough amount to technically qualify as "zero," like with trans fats

69, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:12 (eleven years ago) link

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

Yes, horribly pretentious and grating.

Neil S, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:21 (eleven years ago) link

I love the EastEnders Bianca Jackson Five ad/promo, but everytime I watch it I'm heart-broken when Phil fails to add a 'tell me that you love me' (or somesuch) when he walks past. It's just as the music pauses for a split second and would have ruled so much.

marianna lcl, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:06 (eleven years ago) link

Personally I'm heartbroken that Phil fails to open fire with his Kalashnikov on the lot of them when he walks past but that's just me.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:11 (eleven years ago) link

I would take even Sheila's Wheels over Biancacophonix. Mercy.

blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:23 (eleven years ago) link

Ever so slightly off-topic (esp as I haven't seen it advertised), but Cadburys Flake Dipped would appear to be the exact same product as Cadburys Twirl. After emailing Cadburys to ask if this was the case, this is the totally enlightening response:
----
Cadbury Flake Dipped has been launched in response to requests from
Flake consumers for a form of their favourite bar that they could
enjoy whenever and wherever they are. The Flake Dipped product was
designed to meet their needs, with a light and delicate centre that
crumbles with every bite. Flake consumers are commonly female, 18-50,
who are looking for an indulgent treat.

Cadbury Twirl was launched in 1987. Its densely compacted centre and
twin-fingered format suit its role as a chocolate energy hit. It has
its own set of loyal consumers, who are often young males, under 30,
who are typically looking for a product that gives them the energy to
keep going through the day.

Extensive consumer research was undertaken to investigate the role of
these chocolate products, and this demonstrated that the two products
appeal to two different types of consumers and each of these is
looking for a different chocolate experience. Many consumers are
aware that both these products exist, but few regularly buy both.

Cadbury is committed to offering consumers a choice of products, and
both Twirl and Flake Dipped products will continue to be available
from a wide range of retailers.

We do value feedback and comments from our consumers and I have
passed your comments onto the Flake Brand Manager for his information.
------

Eh?

Not the real Village People, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 17:22 (eleven years ago) link

haha

Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 19:56 (eleven years ago) link

I'll never understand the gender-based marketing of chocolate.

blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 20:06 (eleven years ago) link

It's like Sheila's Wheels.

They want to attract women car drivers, as they have been seen to be both the most careful drivers, and more likely not to claim on insurance for smaller accidents.

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist.

So, they make a product that is unattractive to boy racers.

Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 09:28 (eleven years ago) link

Respect to Cadbury's for being so candid.

You should read David Foster Wallace's short story about confectionery market research.

Alba, Thursday, 10 April 2008 09:37 (eleven years ago) link

I wonder if the person who responded with the email talks like that in real life?

Ste, Thursday, 10 April 2008 10:19 (eleven years ago) link

Clearly they see language as a tool.

Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 10 April 2008 10:25 (eleven years ago) link

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist

They aren't? What about Diamond and other insurers where that was an explicit condition of their cover?

Mark C, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:10 (eleven years ago) link

Well, OK I was assuming...

But the ads don't exactly say "only girls", in fact they suggest that an okker in a pink dress could pass muster...

Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:14 (eleven years ago) link

Mark how does this model translate to chocolate tho?

blueski, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:23 (eleven years ago) link

Well, to attract women, make something that appeals 'exclusively' to women, and vice versa. Men get attracted to 'masculine' chocolate, and vice versa. Whereas both men and women don't get as attracted together to 'neuter' chocolate.

Well, you asked.

Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:29 (eleven years ago) link

We now need to apply genders to Britains fave chocolate products.

Malteasers - Female
Snickers - Male

etc

Jarlrmai, Thursday, 10 April 2008 12:31 (eleven years ago) link

The VW ad that has the guy using his keyless remote to scare a couple away from the car he's already bought is my latest hate-on ad.

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

Oilyrags, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:04 (eleven years ago) link

Crunchie, female
Toffee Crisp, male (and a scruffy one at that)

Ste, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:13 (eleven years ago) link

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

Think there's a simple demographic answer to this one.

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:17 (eleven years ago) link

hooray

DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 19:05 (eleven years ago) link

Because Maltesers remind women of chocolate bollocks amirite???

JTS, Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:45 (eleven years ago) link

i hope that isn't a racial slur on howard brown

DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:50 (eleven years ago) link

I was at the gym watching TV from afar when I first saw that bewildering Woolworths ad. I was like LOL that guy looks like a Woolworths version of Jackie Chan.. then I watched it for reals and :(

I just don't get who these ads are meant to appeal to?

Also, that fucking Kenco ad with the two sacks makes no sense. We don't even see any beans going into both of the two sacks let alone be given enough information to deduce that they are the same beans. Also if they are the same then why have two sacks marked "Instant" and "ground and roast"? I think they are LYING!

Not the real Village People, Thursday, 17 April 2008 22:06 (eleven years ago) link

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now. I hate the one where the car's being tossed around a horrible industrial estate by the buildings. And the other car ad that could only appeal to terrifying teutonic yuppies with genocide fantasies, but of course it's not because there's a lame joke at the end of the ad.

the next grozart, Friday, 18 April 2008 00:16 (eleven years ago) link

from that Halifax ad news story:

..and a waxwork model of Brown was exhibited in Madame Tussauds.

are they fucking kidding us?

Ste, Friday, 18 April 2008 09:14 (eleven years ago) link

Thierry Henry, Tiger Woods and the tennis bloke (whose name esacpes me right now) who are all good pals who like nothing more than a good shave and never even think about yesterday. Grrrrr.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:29 (eleven years ago) link

The Pot Noodle "Put the pan down" advert can fuck off as well.

Dom Passantino, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:31 (eleven years ago) link

The advert with the chef guy making the beat with the repetition of 'Sha' 'cla' or whatever he says. It's annoying but kinda funny too.

Ste, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:38 (eleven years ago) link

Always irritated by that accident insurance ad where the woman informs us that "... the floor was wet with no warning signs". Huh? Whussat?

Tom D., Friday, 18 April 2008 10:41 (eleven years ago) link

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now.

That one where they use some desperately uninteresting box of a car as a skateboard. So shit. And that one where the car is doing acrobatics off skyscrapers etc - total vertigo nightmare, that one. Ugh.

Mark C, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:43 (eleven years ago) link

i've noticed a lot more adverts liks to show cars getting smashed up these days

blueski, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:49 (eleven years ago) link

"It seems to me..." that james dyson could be fixing important problems rather than the steering on vacuumn cleaners (which nobody but him is complaining about anyway)

koogs, Friday, 18 April 2008 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

The Samsung ad with the Chelsea players and ...Donna Air. Most conceptually vapid ad ever and looks like it took 3 minutes to make.

Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 07:35 (eleven years ago) link

And it's not an ad, but the Gordon Ramsay Braveheart trailer. The sound quality is really bad and I can't tell what he says before and after the chefs run down the hill.

Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 07:58 (eleven years ago) link

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess.

the singing worm on that compost ad.

koogs, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:33 (eleven years ago) link

Ha, was about to say about the Pepsi Max ad - clearly none of the footy players featured have had to be in the same room at any moment during filming. Even at the 'party' at the end.

Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:39 (eleven years ago) link

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess

Yeah, that one sucks.

the next grozart, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:40 (eleven years ago) link

The moment of genius in that pepsi ad is that Fat Frank is only seen very briefly, but is EATING.

aldo, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:41 (eleven years ago) link

"I'm going to beeee a
choc'late di-ge-stive
choc choccy choc-cy
hn hn hn nhnnnn nuh"

Has me reaching for projectiles to launch at the telly. It's so grating. aghh

Slumpman, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:43 (eleven years ago) link

For reference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY5cE2KNqC8&feature=related

Slumpman, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:44 (eleven years ago) link

you'd think they'd regard the mcvities factory as something akin to auschwitz

DG, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:48 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.visit4info.com/advert/02-Move-to-O2-Broadband-for-a-Happy-Home-O2/59181

Is your broadband making your home unhappy?

koogs, Friday, 9 May 2008 09:08 (eleven years ago) link

I can't cope with the awful adverts for heat - with the woman singing ni the car. They actually make me feel ill, like I'm in the first stages of a heavy cold, in a William-Gibson-Pattern-Recognition way.

Anna, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:29 (eleven years ago) link

The Visa wedding streaker at a time of DIRE ECONOMIC CRISIS

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:44 (eleven years ago) link

Pompous car advert - take your pick really - with female bodybuilder ("Is this beauty... or obsession"), CCTV ("Is this for our safety... or theirs"? (or something like that)) etc etc etc, shut up, it's a fucking car

Tom D., Friday, 9 May 2008 10:46 (eleven years ago) link

There's that advert for Berocca which is plainly ripped off the video for OK Go's single - you know, the one with them on treadmills.

Rob M v2, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:55 (eleven years ago) link

Sexy Mike Batt posing at the piano to promote his new album Where Is Summertime City Band?

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:58 (eleven years ago) link

The Carling advert where they're possibly in the Wild West or something I dunno.

Dom Passantino, Saturday, 10 May 2008 23:15 (eleven years ago) link

We've been whinging about this ad on the mongrel thread. Does it make you want to visit Melbourne?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnaWc8pxQgs

moley, Sunday, 11 May 2008 04:52 (eleven years ago) link

In fairness, it does give you some advance symbolic warning of Melbourne's traffic problems.

moley, Sunday, 11 May 2008 04:53 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

DIE, EVIL FHM-READING BULMERS ADVERT, DIE

Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:43 (eleven years ago) link

SQUEEZING THE LAST DREGS OF DIGNITY OUT OF THE BRITISH TELEVISION CORPORATIONS

Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:44 (eleven years ago) link

DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL THE SAME FURY

Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:04 (eleven years ago) link

Latest UK McDonalds advert (where adults and children are making a garden representing McD's foodstuffs) is a horrible piece of faux-sincere bullshit including:

1. Use of every tired cliché from every advert made in the last five years ie. indie-twee whistling song, outdoors setting, people working "togevver" to make pointless object which is revealed at the end.

2. Implication that teamwork and community are a part of McDonalds "core brand values".

3. Dreadful chummy reference to potatoes as "Spuds".

4. Hateful reprise of indie-twee whistling shitbaggery for "I'm Lovin' It" motif at end.

Bill A, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 09:33 (eleven years ago) link

1. Use of every tired cliché from every advert made in the last five years ie. indie-twee whistling song, outdoors setting, people working "togevver" to make pointless object which is revealed at the end.

otm, this got tiresome rapidly

Ste, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 09:50 (eleven years ago) link

Advertising needs to get nastier I think.

the next grozart, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:07 (eleven years ago) link

"Buy 1 Big Mac get 17 free, you cunts"

blueski, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:21 (eleven years ago) link

New McCoy's ad yet another celebration of pig-ignorant laddishness, apparently knowing about anything that isn't football is grounds for immediate banishment, possibly death.

ledge, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:25 (eleven years ago) link

What's up with that ad for a generic brand of Asian cars, featuring what appears to be a miniature version of The Feeling playing a shit song from inside the glove box?

Neil S, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:28 (eleven years ago) link

this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq9stciOBTM

lol gender sterotypes/daily mail

salsa shark, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:04 (eleven years ago) link

o god yes

ledge, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:16 (eleven years ago) link

halifax strike again :(

DG, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:26 (eleven years ago) link

BT couple's relationship is on the skids :(

DG, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 21:14 (eleven years ago) link

that lynx bloke with the eyes. i can't see his appeal - even without the wonky eyes he looks like shaggy.

koogs, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:07 (eleven years ago) link

Fuck Off Nigel buys fuck off DVDs fuck off

blueski, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:38 (eleven years ago) link

nice to see the emergency campaign changes on DSG stores' adverts

DG, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

THAT.
FUCKING.
BULMERS.
ADVERT.

Just got offed, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

Paul Tomkinson needs dat money

blueski, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:52 (eleven years ago) link

*keeping track of the Esther Hall availability status*

Mark C, Friday, 25 July 2008 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

Fuck Off Nigel buys fuck off DVDs fuck off

^^^^^^This. Trying to make a meme out of their stupid anti-piracy campaign is super annoying.

Neil S, Friday, 25 July 2008 15:37 (eleven years ago) link

DFS nickelback

conrad, Friday, 25 July 2008 18:29 (eleven years ago) link

Please stop rapping about Sugar Puffs.

Neil S, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:47 (eleven years ago) link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sDQfeXHiSNc

conrad, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:51 (eleven years ago) link

Uurgh so bad.

Neil S, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:53 (eleven years ago) link

just recently left uk for canada, so i feel your pain esp re: halifax. but the adverts here are seriously 10x worse. this one is on all the fucking time and the tune has burrowed its way deep into my head, but this insanity makes up for it somewhat.

spaghetti, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:00 (eleven years ago) link

"I'm the cashman" probably best advert ever.

the next grozart, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:06 (eleven years ago) link

Cashman sounds like an extremely low rent Batman villain.

snoball, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:14 (eleven years ago) link

KILL EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS ABOMINATION:
http://www.i-am-everyone.co.uk/home.php

Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:43 (eleven years ago) link

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

can't believe i didn't raise the issue here myself

Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:45 (eleven years ago) link

There is a specific level of hell reserved for the people who conceive mobile phone adverts

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:45 (eleven years ago) link

I am all the ILX posters I've zinged, and all the ones I'm yet to zing.

Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:47 (eleven years ago) link

^^^ self-zing

Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:47 (eleven years ago) link

2. Implication that teamwork and community are a part of McDonalds "core brand values".

-- Bill A, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:33 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

Would say that they are.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:48 (eleven years ago) link

Jont is a Twont, his sole purpose seems to be to make James Blunt, Chris Martin, and the guy from Travis slightly less punchable.
FFS that Orange ad though - "I am the bloke I will meet travelling who will teach me to play the guitar" - er, no, by the look of him he'll teach you how to squeal like a pig, boy!
I hardly watch TV anymore anyway, so it's "nice" to see what Orange are actually doing (making wanky TV ads) when they should be making with the fixing on their f***ing e-mail servers.

snoball, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:54 (eleven years ago) link

I would pay Orange not to have those people come round to my house, if I had to.

Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:58 (eleven years ago) link

x-post

My poorly made point here was, I suppose, that surly 18 year old "Johnny No Stars" McDs staff (teamwork) and McDs general efforts to cram its grease-n-salt specials into as many mouths as possible (community) are perhaps not most honestly represented by men, women and children happily working together to make a garden.

Bill A, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:59 (eleven years ago) link

x-post

Maybe that's their new business model? Pay up, or we send the unutterably awful folk singers round to caterwaul in your living room?

Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 14:01 (eleven years ago) link

Perhaps Orange's priorities should be:

1) fix the bottleneck problems at the e-mail server farm at smtp.0r4ng3h0m3.c0.uk so that people can, you know, actually send e-mail
2) fix d/l speeds so that someone who lives less than a mile from the exchange can maybe get somewhere near the advertised 8 meg
3) make some wanky TV commercials
4) send a public school trustafarian hipster with an acoustic guitar and a hat three sizes too small to people's houses

...instead of their current priorities which seem to be that list completely reversed...

snoball, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 14:06 (eleven years ago) link

During all of my 32 years on this earth I hadn't once considered forcing my thumbs into my eye sockets to forcibly blind myself...until now. Not since Oedipus realised he was unlikely to win "Son Of The Year" has there been such a good reason to deny yourself the gift of sight. The rock star advert manages to offend on a number of levels. The song itself is predictably middle of the road and is at best only midly contemporary having been released in the UK in November 2007. However, this lazy approach at stradling popular culture pales into insignificance compared to the visual car crash that is the god awful bunch of performing monkeys who mime and play air guitar during the advert. Each one gives me a different reason to hate them - whether it's the funk-free black guy, the sexless desperate blonde, anoxeric coked-up brunette, fat gran or gay dad, watching each of them makes me convulse with embarrassment. I detest them all.

But more than anything, I hate myself for watching it. Well done DFS, you've hit a new low.

conrad, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:43 (eleven years ago) link

from the dfs wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dfs_%28retailer%29

conrad, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:43 (eleven years ago) link

lol amazing

Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:46 (eleven years ago) link

I wonder if Jont minds if your phone goes off in the middle of his song.

James Mitchell, Saturday, 2 August 2008 11:16 (eleven years ago) link

If your ringtone was by a rival acoustic folkster tossbag, that'd really put him off...

snoball, Saturday, 2 August 2008 11:51 (eleven years ago) link

Did anyone catch this last night?

Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 11 August 2008 14:33 (eleven years ago) link

That Linx advert where the guy's eyes go all funny creeps me out - also uncomfortably reminds me of a Jerry Sadowitz routine about blind people, "I hope it's not one of those ple with the boggly eyes that go all over the place"

Tom D., Monday, 11 August 2008 14:40 (eleven years ago) link

(xpost) here it is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvT7GiUUAvA

snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:03 (eleven years ago) link

missed the heart attack one but saw the orangina furries :(

DG, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:04 (eleven years ago) link

I shouldn't make light of it, as two of my grandparents died from heart disease, but it kind of makes having a heart attack look like the video to "Smack My Bitch Up". Except instead of a stripper, it's... Johnny Ball? Ade Edmondson? No, I got it, Steven Berkoff!

snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:06 (eleven years ago) link

(xpost) Imagine if the adverts were mixed up? "having a heart attack is like furry pr0n" vs "drinking Orangina is like getting beaten up by Steven Berkoff"

snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:07 (eleven years ago) link

imagine him as a furry

DG, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:09 (eleven years ago) link

crappy TV commercials are not a new thing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV5MnagQenc
I think the guy doing the voiceover on the Corona ad is trying to impersonate Phil Silvers...
This is fucking dreadful as well...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8dKSl3YLm0&feature=related
...become a miner, learn to impress the neighbours with the psychotic Fanny Craddock, or emigrate to Australia

snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:20 (eleven years ago) link

cactus kid crap

conrad, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:36 (eleven years ago) link

otm, "for people who don't like water", like that's a real viable demographic and not just some kind of bullshit pose (apologies to anyone here who "doesn't like water").

ledge, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:41 (eleven years ago) link

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

stevie, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:48 (eleven years ago) link

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

-- stevie, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:48 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

That one was an eye opener. I came away with the conclusion that it was actually a very good ad.

the next grozart, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 09:21 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Seat (car, not chair) advert with "crazy" employees doing zany stuff, soundtracked by an Avalanches rip-off.

Neil S, Thursday, 28 August 2008 17:45 (eleven years ago) link

three months pass...

Campaign Magazine's ten worst TV adverts of 2008.

Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 13:45 (ten years ago) link

Can't really argue with those, tho I still insist the John Lydon one isn't that bad

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:14 (ten years ago) link

Apart from anything else, the Gillette one annoys me because Thierry Henry is not even remotely in the same league as Tiger Woods and Roger Federer

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:16 (ten years ago) link

in what sense?

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:17 (ten years ago) link

As a sportsman

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:18 (ten years ago) link

As an actor, he's better, I'll give him that

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:19 (ten years ago) link

well football is a team game so you can't really stand-out as much as in golf or tennis but he's not exactly been unsuccessful.

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:20 (ten years ago) link

But he's never been considered the greatest in his sport at any given time, let alone a possible G.O.A.T. like the other two

Seanadams Molloy (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:21 (ten years ago) link

He's not even the best footballer of his generation, let alone one of the best footballers of al time

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:21 (ten years ago) link

Although I dunno if an advert with Henry, Ian Poulter and Mardy Fish would have worldwide appeal.

Seanadams Molloy (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:22 (ten years ago) link

In South America I seem to remember it being Kaká instead of Henry.

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:31 (ten years ago) link

I think he deserves it more than Henry

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:34 (ten years ago) link

in fact I'm talking crap it was Kaká with Rafa Marquez and some brazilian now that I think of it. Not the same campaign.

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:35 (ten years ago) link

Henry probably as famous as the other two because he plays an almost universally popular sport and thus makes sense from a marketing point of view?

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (ten years ago) link

Lydon/Country Life advert is fine

This new apparently global Mr Muscle advert is the worst of the year just for sheer lameness - not a patch on those old ones with the 'hilariously' weedy bespectacled guy

Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (ten years ago) link

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (ten years ago) link

should've had real athlete Phil Taylor instead of Henry

Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:37 (ten years ago) link

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

I see, this advert is aimed at the niche bearded lady market?

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:40 (ten years ago) link

who is a more preferable role model to your nuts reading 18-30 male, goofy looking guy who is good at golf/tennis or footballer who women would like to fuck?

what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:41 (ten years ago) link

a woman might wanna get a man a razor

that seat advert is all-time FOAD

country matters, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:42 (ten years ago) link

There's a few adverts now that have some kind of awful drippy neo-avant-folk warbling rubbish on their soundtracks that force me to dive to hit the mute button whenever they come on.

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:46 (ten years ago) link

that's not the worst of the gilette adverts (although it is terrible, 'i never think about yesterday'), the worst one is where they are bullying that poor bloke by firing tennis balls at him whilst he's trying to shave.

o_O at that orangina advert though.

koogs, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:49 (ten years ago) link

all "you have to be INSANE to produce a car like this" then a fucking shitty mundane family hatchback appears at the end, like a bad joke told by idiots

country matters, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:50 (ten years ago) link

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?", because it a) implies that Renaults were once shite, b) further implies that now they're not shite. Hint: they are more shite than ever, evidenced by the new model Megane which looks like every nondescript family car currently being made.

snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:53 (ten years ago) link

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?"

I, mentally, say "no" every time I hear that

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:55 (ten years ago) link

It's like that other advert about "your house smelling of fish"... but it doesn't

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:55 (ten years ago) link

Adverts are crap if they do not 'advertise', right?

Still like the Lydon one.

The Lenny Premierinn one is alright, it's where I end up living when I'm away. Hey, it could have been worse.

The Orangina one is pretty dumb/doesnotwork. The Renault/dubbing one is poor/cheap.

xpost the kids are both "ha, dad, did you ever say that? did yer? ay?" and I go "Anyone fancy walking to school tomorrow, hmm?"

Apart from that, the rest I do not care for or against.

Mark G, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:56 (ten years ago) link

Out of these ten the one which still reeks most of Pass The Hat/Pull The Trigger is the Lenny Henry Premier Inns one. Why oh why oh why &c.

Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:58 (ten years ago) link

His career was going so well too

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:00 (ten years ago) link

It was poor old Hazell I felt sorry for.

Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:02 (ten years ago) link

Henry: "I've found something that's small time"
snoball: "Your career prospects?"
Henry: "There's nothing small time about my career. This Christmas I'll be presenting another hilarious show featuring two year old clips from YouTube."

snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:02 (ten years ago) link

Oh hold on, is this Thierry or Lenny we're talking about here?

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:04 (ten years ago) link

It was poor old Hazell I felt sorry for.

I imagine him turning to his agent and saying, "Why don't you just put the gun to my head right now..."

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:05 (ten years ago) link

They must have been mentioned before, but the WKD 'Do you have a wicked side?' commercials cause a dull, wrenching pain in my sternum.

Trying to sustain the pretense that their target buyers are not young teenagers but absolute twats so juvenile their taste buds will only accept alcohol in the form of fizzy pop.

GamalielRatsey, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:07 (ten years ago) link

Thierry reps for Gilette, Lenny for Holiday Inn. The "small time" quote is something Len says in the advert.

snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:09 (ten years ago) link

"Past your late teens but still behave like a stupid cock? Then drink WNKR."

snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:11 (ten years ago) link

to be fair Lenny Henry did recently get a part in Othello

Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:18 (ten years ago) link

LH: "To mourn a mischief that is past and gone is the next way to draw new mischief on... and with that, on to our next hilarious GoogleTubeYouVideo clip!"

snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:29 (ten years ago) link

i think he's playing Bianca

Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:33 (ten years ago) link

Who's playing Ricky?

Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:33 (ten years ago) link

David van Day.

Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 16:14 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

aargh "Posh Pringles" "look, the bag matches yours" FUCK YOU!!!

Neil S, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 14:11 (ten years ago) link

Seat still winning "worst of year" imo.

claudestock carpentinieri (country matters), Tuesday, 30 December 2008 14:38 (ten years ago) link

"(the) confused.com (website) remembers you and your details!" oh wow thx it's like living in the 21st century!!! you smug bastard diediedie

snoball, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 15:23 (ten years ago) link

"step out of the carYOU HAD TWO PINTS THAT'S A 2 YEAR BANIt's company policy I gotta let you goI KNOWW ITS ONLY GOT 2,000 MILES ON THE CLOCK BUT THAT'S MY FINAL OFFERahh that's just GREAT MATT!! No JOb, No Car, NOW WHAT!!?????" - "So, what's it gonna be?"

He has to be the worst barman ever.

Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:53 (ten years ago) link

^^^ irritating advert, but at least it's a shift in focus from "you might run someone over" to "you'll experience misfortune". So it's probably more effective, because drink drivers don't give a shit about other people, but they do care about themselves.

snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:56 (ten years ago) link

alt punchline: "I'll have one of what you had"

Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:58 (ten years ago) link

barman: "ok then, roll up your sleeve and hold out your arm..."

snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:59 (ten years ago) link

alt punchline: "I'll have one of what you had"

"... and it said Happy Hour between 5 and 7"

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:00 (ten years ago) link

"I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK EVEREST WOULD DO THAT TODAY, DID YOU!!!"

FUCK OFF!!!

snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:27 (ten years ago) link

Compare The Market with their SPECIAL FIVE-STAR RATING SYSTEM OMG IT'S SO SPECIAL

Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:38 (ten years ago) link

the barman advert isn't bad at all. it won an ad award for best casting somewhere because he has to do a range of 'characters' so quickly ha.

Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:39 (ten years ago) link

I know, I just wanted to say "worst barman ever" so..

Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:41 (ten years ago) link

I don't know about that, I reckon I've been served by worse

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:42 (ten years ago) link

that iggy pop car insurance advert is starting to boil my piss

vain_bowers, Sunday, 11 January 2009 18:30 (ten years ago) link

I don't know whether this Microsoft Songsmith ad is on TV anywhere, but it is one of the most nightmarish things you will ever see. It's as if Stuff White People Like became a musical.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3oGFogwcx-E

And if you want to drive the pylon all the way through your skull:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=jewxFiDQ22w&feature=related

moley, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 09:46 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

mu-uum, i want. to. do. ae. poo.
but. i want. to. do. ae. poo. in pauuls bathroom.

jed_, Friday, 20 February 2009 23:46 (ten years ago) link

Is that an advert?

Chewshabadoo, Friday, 20 February 2009 23:55 (ten years ago) link

unfortunately, yes. a uk advert for a bathroom air freshener but it's been dubbed from a continental ad.

jed_, Saturday, 21 February 2009 00:12 (ten years ago) link

jed_, Saturday, 21 February 2009 00:13 (ten years ago) link

red bull one with man in car ith his mum...
why?

not_goodwin, Saturday, 21 February 2009 01:22 (ten years ago) link

five hour long bob dylan cooperative bank stfu

ledge, Sunday, 22 February 2009 20:48 (ten years ago) link

Oh crikey yes - went to the cinema yesterday and they had the full length version of that co-op ad on ie. the whole of "blowin' in the wind". Made me want to rampage in the aisle and burn the fucking place down.

Bill A, Sunday, 22 February 2009 20:53 (ten years ago) link

Paul's Bathroom Boutique
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/07/BeastieBoysPaul%27sBoutique.jpg

snoball, Sunday, 22 February 2009 21:09 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

the volvic challenge?

seriously?

EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Monday, 20 April 2009 18:15 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

revive, because I've just seen an advert for a compilation CD called "101 Housework Songs" - 101 tracks with some vague connection to housework, and I mean vague, like Queen's "I Want To Break Free"

snoball, Wednesday, 17 June 2009 21:51 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I know it's deliberate and he's probably an actor but I would dearly like to dance wearing hobnail stilettos on the knackers of that Tiny Tim-looking twat on the Confused.com ads.

My Slow Descent into Assholism (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 11:06 (ten years ago) link

I Want To Break Free's connection with housework is not tenuous!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVYgRPfC9nQ

Alba, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 12:09 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64

My fury at this advert peaks at around 18 seconds and then has nowhere else to go.

Slumpman, Monday, 27 July 2009 21:59 (ten years ago) link

Can I take a second here to rant about the dessert-flavored yogurts that apparently help you lose weight and also act like a complete asshole?

- In the first commercial a woman walks into a cleaner's and tells the older woman behind the counter that she needs her clothes taken in, because she's been eating loads of Key Lime and Boston Cream pie. The older woman pretty sensibly suggests that she must mean she needs her clothes let out. Then the yogurt lady gets all argumentative and smug about it, as if it's the cleaner's fault for thinking "Boston Cream pie" refers to a pie and not yogurt.

- In the next one a woman is bragging on the phone about how she's lost weight, and how it's all due to the Key Lime pie and the Boston Cream pie and whatnot, which she always keeps some of in the house. Her husband, hearing this, starts looking around in the fridge for the pie she allegedly always keeps there. His wife then turns around and says "what are you doing, babe?" It seems to me that the answer is: he is looking in his own home refrigerator for the fucking pie you are claiming is in there, so get off his back, smug yogurt jerk.

- In the next one the husband from the previous one is bragging on the phone to his friend about how he's dropped a few pounds, all via eating Key Lime pie and Boston Cream pie, etc., and his wife reprises her "what are you doing, babe" zing and makes fun of him for acting like said pies were actually pies and not in fact yogurt flavors. I don't really get the comedic logic of this, as it seems to me that he was trying the exact same dumb-ass thing she was doing, and now she's not just a smug jerk but a hypocrite to boot.

^^ what gets me about the third commercial is that by reprising previous characters in the series they seem to be acting as if this campaign were somehow well-liked and successful, which if that's the case I might need to leave the country

nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:19 (ten years ago) link

(I am assuming y'all are find with this thread being transAtlanticized)

nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:20 (ten years ago) link

Ditto for Taco Bell. First there was a commercial where one asshole talks his asshole buddy into not tipping a barista (played by Andrew from Buffy!) because that change could be better spent on some slop wrapped up in a tortilla. Now there's that one where another asshole goes around stealing change from "give a penny, take a penny" trays because he apparently has no source of income.

I also hate those Bing ads that act as if Googling something is SO HARD. Oh my god, I typed in "back pain" and got something about back to school sales! The internet is so difficult!

lindseykai, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:35 (ten years ago) link

Addition to the hassled husband genre: the guy who sees his wife has switched to a healthier Cheerio breakfast and asks if she's trying to lose weight. You look like a nice lady, wife, but seriously, it's an innocent and supportive question and you protest too much.

nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:43 (ten years ago) link

The weird thing about that commercial is they used it years ago for a different variety of Cheerios and just superimposed the new box over the original. It looks terrible. I think they re-dubbed the voices too. Pretty cheap, General Mills.

lindseykai, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:03 (ten years ago) link

always feel bad for that guy because the fridge is stocked solely with his fat wife's yogurt. never realized there was a sequel.

bnw, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:09 (ten years ago) link

worst at the moment is the palm one with the translucent albino chick talking about how she can't handle the thought of reincarnation because she lives multiple lives now and boy howdy that is only maintainable because she has a palm pilot and is an alien/hippy.

bnw, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:11 (ten years ago) link

omg yes, what is with that? is she supposed to seem "futuristic" or something?

nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:25 (ten years ago) link

I think they re-dubbed the voices too

Oh, I noticed this, too! It doesn't sound right.

tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 00:13 (ten years ago) link

Bostone Creme pie yogurt tastes so gross btw.

tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 00:14 (ten years ago) link

I don't know whether to talk about the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials here or on the "Best TV Adverts" thread.

Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:44 (ten years ago) link

For one thing, he looks like a homeless bum that some PA found and stuck in some nice clothes.

Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:45 (ten years ago) link

So long as I'm on the gender-roles beat here, there's this:

Can you believe there's a new commercial where a guy walks up to a random hotel employee, rips her shirt off, pins her arms above her head, applies some body spray to her abdomen, and then walks confidently off into the night?

Wait, no. That can't be right, can it? Who would run an ad like that? That would be horrifying, a commercial where some guy strips and restrains and dominates some poor chambermaid just to demonstrate his own power. That would be promoting sexual assault. I must be misremembering something.

Oh, right, I remember now: it's actually a confident, sophisticated woman who tears up a bellhop's shirt, covering his face and pinning his arms above his head, and then tests her deodorant on his abs, while he stands in passive awe at how bold and empowered she is.

I guess that's better.

nabisco, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 17:31 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

WE HAVE NO R

conrad, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 20:18 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

It's on the radio, not telly, but the WE BUY ANY CAR, WE BUY ANY CAR, WE BUY ANY CAR, ANY ANY ANY ANY, WE BUY ANY CAR one.

James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:25 (ten years ago) link

Apparently it is a TV ad too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64

I'm sorry.

James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:28 (ten years ago) link

this, especially the WONGA guy who has inspired some remix videos already

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJW0LKXeOE

zappi, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:50 (ten years ago) link

After watching the Envirophone ad too many times, I have realised you can make any advert better by inserting "...and it's good for the environment!" randomly in it.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate (aldo), Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:55 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

"And always, it has to be Heinz" = GO FUCK YERSELVES. TV equivalent of saying "lock thread" or "end of".

Also reminds of Robert Lindsay being the smuggest smug cunt in the world on those Morrison's adverts a couple of months back, surprised I didn't lay into that shit at the time.

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:14 (nine years ago) link

Really? Don't remember it.

"Power to the People" ?

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:24 (nine years ago) link

I'm sure (and I'm sure you all know too) that they make crap ads on purpose, just so's standup comedians can use them in their routines and mention the product while doing so.

Child that wants to evacuate his bowels at McCartney's abode, for instance...

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:26 (nine years ago) link

Lindsay ad was like "I just want fresh fish that costs tuppence and gets served to me by some dude in a Victorian fishmongers outfit tugging his fucking forelock" middle class entitlement horse cobblers

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:28 (nine years ago) link

The ad is very similar to Hammond's "I just want meat", in that they're both pushing supermarket trolleys through the countryside.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:36 (nine years ago) link

I take it as read that Hammond's gonna reek of smug entitlement tho

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:37 (nine years ago) link

ah right. Good old brane, filtering out the crap just for me..

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:37 (nine years ago) link

It's the way Lindsay delivers "Is that too much to ask?" in the same voice as the Fast Show "...which was nice" character.

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:38 (nine years ago) link

Worse thing about Hammond ad is his "look" - 40 something geezer still trying to look like he's 20

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:38 (nine years ago) link

DUDE THAT'S MY WHOLE STEEZ

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:39 (nine years ago) link

Nah, Hammond's look is a million times worse

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:45 (nine years ago) link

Mine too, xpost.

However, Lovejoy "looks like 20" in what way exactly?

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:45 (nine years ago) link

Mark, you telling me you've got hair like Hammond - that's the worst part

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (nine years ago) link

trying to look like he's 20...

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (nine years ago) link

...not necessarily succeeding. At all.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (nine years ago) link

hmm, I'll give you "30" but who looks twenty in that? Citation, or it's untrue...

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:50 (nine years ago) link

Lovejoy is classic, Hammond dud

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:51 (nine years ago) link

http://www.keysalive.com/hammond.jpg

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:01 (nine years ago) link

^ nice legs

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:02 (nine years ago) link

Mark G posts "shame about the face" in 5...4...3...

Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:03 (nine years ago) link

"...shame about the bass... uh, pedals"

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:04 (nine years ago) link

Not while "The Monks" are the band formed by US stationed army personnel that took raw protopunk formats to the Germans, and not two ex-Stawbs, I don't!

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:11 (nine years ago) link

shame about the fascia...

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:12 (nine years ago) link

'lovejoy was ace' is the new 40 trying to look 20 btw

you can have this tapdance here for free (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:14 (nine years ago) link

We buy any car is the BEST advert of the moment you menkos.

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:25 (nine years ago) link

the donk isn't big enough

modescalator (blueski), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:26 (nine years ago) link

the donk isn't big enough

I will concede, but like Touch'n'Fresh they had to make some smooth out some of the rough edges for the mainstream.

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:36 (nine years ago) link

Would you believe I can't find the Touch'n'fresh jungle advert on youtube - anyone care to oblige?

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:39 (nine years ago) link

No mention of 'money for gold' on this thread = fail.

fyi vagina (a hoy hoy), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:51 (nine years ago) link

Thank YOU! fyi vagina.

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:52 (nine years ago) link

Not sure whats better - vox pop numpties or this one with hard-up US celebs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRVzF9dBl7c

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:54 (nine years ago) link

'Cause people out there turn their jewlry into gold

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:58 (nine years ago) link

I wish someone would use Nico's "We've Got the Gold" in one of these give us yer jewellery adverts

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:05 (nine years ago) link

It's lucky that Spandau Ballet have reformed, otherwise we'd have the treat of Tony Hadley saying "Send us your gold! (GOLD!!!)"

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:21 (nine years ago) link

I did resist that one, E"B"A...

Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:23 (nine years ago) link

What's the advert where the woman says, "It's so quick and easy..." but every time it sounds EXACTLY like, "It's so frickin' easy..."?

The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:24 (nine years ago) link

New Cadbury Caramel posters are on some next level Furry shit btw.

http://vitalsignsblogging.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/cadburys-caramel-pic.jpg

http://getsiobhanny.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/0_image_903.jpg

That is a rabbit. They are asking their customers to be sexually aroused by a rabbit. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Geir Hypothesis (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:02 (nine years ago) link

If it's anything like the old ads, it's a rabbit with the voice of Miriam Margolyes.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:05 (nine years ago) link

Yeah I know. Running a Furry-bait ad 10 years before the WWW took off is pretty ground-breaking.

Geir Hypothesis (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:14 (nine years ago) link

It's like that bit in Wayne's World where Garth admits to being turned on by the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs dresses as a woman.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:25 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

i thought halifax adverts had reached their nadir with howard. how wrong i was...

koogs, Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:44 (nine years ago) link

that new one with the "radio station"? I thought I was having some kind of turn, it's utterly grotesque.

Bill A, Sunday, 3 January 2010 20:47 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhBnEV3ElvY

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:06 (nine years ago) link

the worst thing about going home for xmas was watching TV adverts again for first time in ages

mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:32 (nine years ago) link

during the ad break after man u-leeds finished the first advert was a just for men advert that actually drew incredulous laughs from my friend and i

then that swiftcover advert turned up. along with an actually-funny walkers commercial. well, funny the first time. sort of.

Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:36 (nine years ago) link

free texts/supergroup mong definitely needs to lose a few limbs

MPx4A, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:40 (nine years ago) link

oh josh. you tried to make something of your life. but all you ended up doing was irrationally enraging a few commuters. then they put you on tv. next you'll be leading a flashmob in one of london's major transport nodes at rush-hour. at which point they will send in the combine harvesters.

Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:43 (nine years ago) link

only death by wurzel will be sufficient for josh and his superband

Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:44 (nine years ago) link

iggy pop has nothing on Mr Go Compare

koogs, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:34 (nine years ago) link

I thought this was going to be about the rollerskating evian babies. disappointed.

salsa sharkshavin (salsa shark), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:37 (nine years ago) link

those are too uncanny-valley creepy to be anything but a strongly repressed memory

Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:39 (nine years ago) link

Oh god, the rollerskating babies are actually worse than the Halifax ad. Surely there was a point during the making of it, which would have involved dozens of people, where someone pointed out that it is terrifying rather than cuet?

Bill A, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:25 (nine years ago) link

I don't know, at least 150 000 weirdos seem to like them (minus the few who have probably joined for the purpose of spamming)

salsa sharkshavin (salsa shark), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:37 (nine years ago) link

Was saying to a friend last night that what's creepiest about the Evian Babies advert is it feels like an advert that will be loved by people who love babies so much that they feel compelled to go out and steal one.

Then stick it on roller skates.

Shart Habit to Break (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:40 (nine years ago) link

Camera. Fucking. Chow. Picture. Fucking. Wow.

GET OFF MY TV SCREEN YOU MOTHER.

emil.y, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:45 (nine years ago) link

Oh my word, I've saw that Halifax ad for the first time. Seriously fuck all these people, if they must piss our money away can't they have the dignity to do it away from the public gaze.

Bing Crosby, are you listening? (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 18:47 (nine years ago) link

I would pay for a version of Lord Of The Rings with that Iggy puppet instead of Golum...

Pop: "Frodo you suck! Give me that goddamn Ring!"

an executive by day and a wild man by night (snoball), Thursday, 7 January 2010 13:33 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

"Stop! And just take a break/Before you blow a fuse"

dog latin, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 15:26 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

dear Crunchy Nature Valley bars ad guys. I will find you, and I will gut you.

Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:43 (nine years ago) link

halifax have hit a new low with the "ISA ISA Baby" ad

koogs, Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (nine years ago) link

BT Broadband ad that that doesn't even use the right Stereo MCs song as it's backing track - it uses "Step It Up" instead of "Connected".

black jeans stained by (snoball), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (nine years ago) link

Halifax are getting off on being obnoxious cunts at this point really

Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (nine years ago) link

halifax have hit a new low with the "ISA ISA Baby" ad

see, I don't think this is quite as bad as the previous two. It's a dreadful shitty pun, but at least there's no reliance on "The Reward Horn" or unsettling fake arms for high-fivin' this time. Mercifully, it seems slightly shorter as well.

Bill A, Saturday, 20 March 2010 16:05 (nine years ago) link

"Give me back that Filet o' Fish. Give me that fish"

Mr. Snrub, Saturday, 20 March 2010 17:04 (nine years ago) link

'I think I'm going to need... more ties!'

if, Saturday, 20 March 2010 17:27 (nine years ago) link

Halifax are getting off on being obnoxious cunts at this point really

― Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (2 hours ago) Bookmark
Sfm!
That 'CASH MY GOLD' advert is really grating now, as are those ryvita minis ads where women are fighting over the food equivalent of cardboard.

taking naps between dances (RubyNoir), Saturday, 20 March 2010 18:20 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Didn't think anything would upset my fangirl self more than seeing Iggy Pop in an insurance ad but I've just seen Benicio Del Toro in an awful advert for a brand new kind of magnum ice cream. It was bleak.

RubyNoir, Monday, 5 April 2010 23:52 (nine years ago) link

'I think I'm going to need... more ties!'

AARRGGHHHHH!!!!

ailsa, Monday, 5 April 2010 23:54 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

WE BUY ANY CAR DOTCOM WE BUY ANY CAR WE BUY ANY CAR

Ward Fowler, Friday, 30 April 2010 07:27 (nine years ago) link

I enjoy the infectious energy of that one.

Daily Sport Stunna Yasmin Alibhai Brown (Noodle Vague), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:33 (nine years ago) link

the Five-Hour Energy "Fight the 2:30 Feeling" office douchebag: I WANT TO STAB HIS SMUG FACE

in movie 2001 resurrect thread on planet jupiter (Pillbox), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:36 (nine years ago) link

I have that reaction against the toothpaste ad.

It's been re-edited but still..

Follows lad from sliding down the bannister, to kiss from girl in class and so on. The way he turns to the camera and smugly smiles.etc..

Mark G, Friday, 30 April 2010 07:38 (nine years ago) link

any carl's jr. ad that features the smarmy smackable spokesdude

bette ghent (get bent), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:41 (nine years ago) link

"choose any car! you CANNOT be serious."

bette ghent (get bent), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:46 (nine years ago) link

...ANY ANY ANY ANY...

current nadir is the 'you keep fit, obviously. whey protein, how much do you pay?' as if that's even approaching a normal conversation.

koogs, Friday, 30 April 2010 08:40 (nine years ago) link

"cheeky volvic"

Black Arkestra, Friday, 30 April 2010 14:46 (nine years ago) link

is that the volvic challenge thing? I want to murder that man.

village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 14:53 (nine years ago) link

You one a challenge for drinking water - what do you want a fucking medal you horse-faced surfer-dude wannabe?? Sometimes I like to go outside for a "cheeky breath of fresh air", that doesn't make it a challenge.

village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 14:55 (nine years ago) link

the really annoying thing about the volvic advert is its based on the myth that you need to consume a metric ton of pure water a day.

Jarlrmai, Friday, 30 April 2010 15:58 (nine years ago) link

DESTROY 2,000 YEARS OF CULTURE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKuS1qc5n7w

James Mitchell, Friday, 30 April 2010 16:25 (nine years ago) link

one = won upthread, obv.

village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 16:26 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydWMY8cYPUU

James Mitchell, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:11 (nine years ago) link

I think the commercial is actually pretty cute. The product itself is dumb as dirt though. Are people embarrassed that their child, like every child in history before them, has to wear a diaper? It's probably targeted more toward parents who think that dressing up their kids in grown-up clothes is cute. Does Anne Geddes do that?

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:30 (nine years ago) link

Oh god, just watched that again. The "pooping your pants" bit - ugh.

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:33 (nine years ago) link

This makes my blood boil:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK9F644H0-A

rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:20 (nine years ago) link

I mean, doesn't she have any fucking friends?

rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:24 (nine years ago) link

I am not surprised that he left her, tbh.

The one that gets me at the moment is "I don't just volumise my lashes, I millionise them". IT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN ANYTHING. RAAAAAARGH.

emil.y, Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:44 (nine years ago) link

vodafone ad is crepey as hell. was talking about it with a friend the other day.

jed_, Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:47 (nine years ago) link

Vodafone ad: "I just wanted us to be happy...is that too much?" = NNNNGHGHGHGHHGHGHNNGNGHGHHGHGHHGHG.

Bill A, Sunday, 20 June 2010 19:02 (nine years ago) link

HEY WRIGLEYS EXTRA YOU CAN GET YR TWEE FUCKING VEGETABLES RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

A game of two Alves (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2010 16:49 (nine years ago) link

This track was written Nylon composer Damian De Boos Smith. It’s not available to download.

Thank fuck for that

A game of two Alves (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2010 16:52 (nine years ago) link

l'Oreal ad

'inspired by the science of genes'

owenf, Monday, 5 July 2010 01:19 (nine years ago) link

oof, that vodafone ad is so freaking emotionally manipulative! *shudder*.

Love and Arugula (Trayce), Monday, 5 July 2010 01:43 (nine years ago) link

TMobile ad featuring a woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe dancing with a male blow-up doll.

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:11 (nine years ago) link

I mean, doesn't she have any fucking friends?

and

I am not surprised that he left her, tbh.

Both OTM. I hate that advert so so much.

ailsa, Friday, 9 July 2010 22:14 (nine years ago) link

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/commercials/2010/1/omid-djalili-money-supermarket.jpg

Never had an opinion on this guy either way 'til he started doing these adverts, now I hate him. Good work all round!

R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 July 2010 11:51 (nine years ago) link

5 brothers ad. ruining pulp fiction music and making me want to smash.

Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:47 (nine years ago) link

Peter Mandelson

ailsa, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:01 (nine years ago) link

the new whiskers ad!

hoes on my dick cos my groceries bagged (tpp), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:10 (nine years ago) link

What is iPad?

iPad is thin!

koogs, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:21 (nine years ago) link

dunno if it's on tv, but in the cinema i saw this appalling advert for calvin klein underwear, in which a succession of male models say stuff like "you wanna see my [bleep]?", over and over again. the bleep is the concept. and at the end one of them says: "what the [bleep] are you wearing?" n e way, oddly confrontational. guess it targets dudes w. low self-esteem (and, in this case, who like nicole holofcener movies).

I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:30 (nine years ago) link

[bleep]

Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:34 (nine years ago) link

sorry, was just checking how you get square brackets on non code stuff

Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:35 (nine years ago) link

the new whiskers ad!

Is that the one where the woman claims the cat is "having a friend over", ie. next door's moggy gets quid-a-pouch food too?

Because that advert really, really blows.

Bill A, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:32 (nine years ago) link

Halifax are the eternal champions of the mindblowingly awful ad campaigns. The current Radio Halifax ones for current eg.

Born too beguiled (DavidM), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:39 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7mmXeRvgLo
...although it does have Lionel Richie being thrown through plate glass window

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 30 August 2010 21:16 (nine years ago) link

i dunno, i found it quite amusing, and kind of surreal that LR would be appearing in an ad for a food brand he's most likely never heard of next to a sportsman he's most likely never to have heard of either.

village idiot (dog latin), Monday, 30 August 2010 21:37 (nine years ago) link

http://files.adme.ru/files/news/part_2/22304/9lays.jpg

walkers are the UK equiv of american lay's both owned by pepsico and everycunt's heard of gary lineker rubbish advert

conrad, Monday, 30 August 2010 21:59 (nine years ago) link

churhill - "told me he was in a tug of war competition" that womans voice and the blokes reaction. also, it's on ALL THE FOOKING TIME

we buy any car dot com. with the gang of people singing down the phone, hate the way that woman says her line really fast and looks smug about it.

F-Unit (Ste), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 10:51 (nine years ago) link

I've been noticing a trend where the ad is basically the standard customer talking with a salesman. Except the gimmick is the customer is SHOUTING and EXCLAIMING!!! everything in a pseudo-ironic and completely obnoxious way. Almost like the company is saying "We know our customers secretly think that we think they are whining assholes! So we're going to be straight up about it and it'll appear ironic and funny!"

This gets on my nerves soooooo much. Some rent-a-car company does this on TBS or Comedy Central, the salesman is like "You just take any car you like." and the customer goes "CHOOSE ANY CAR???? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!" It's also in some Best Buy and Progressive ads.

"I CANT BELIEVE WHAT A DEAL I'M GETTING EVEN THOUGH I AM AN OBNOXIOUS, LOUD CUSTOMER!!!"

Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:18 (nine years ago) link

consumer's gettin' negged

acoleuthic, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:21 (nine years ago) link

guilty lols from the richie walkers ad.

ledge, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:23 (nine years ago) link

Computer superstores like PC World do this sort of thing a lot. It's almost like they're saying "we know you are a total niddiock at computers, so why not come in and be condescended to by one of our slick-haired salesmonkeys?"

village idiot (dog latin), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:23 (nine years ago) link

not on tv but still qualifies IMO:

http://consumerist.com/2010/08/summers-eve-to-ladies-if-you-want-a-raise-youd-better-douche-first.html

Squirrel! (HI DERE), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 15:42 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

Dear confused.com, the internet is not the most important invention of the 21st century. It was in fact not invented in the 21st century at all, as millions (if not billions) of people around the globe could tell you. If you did not mean to insinuate this erroneous date of creation, but rather intended to convey that it is the most important invention that has ever been invented and remains in operation during this, the 21st century, I must still take issue with you. The wheel is still pretty important iirc. Microchips, heating, furniture. Most of us would not be able to access the internet without the invention of computers, or even, DUH, electricity. So please, please, please, stfu.

emil.y, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 09:48 (nine years ago) link

>Microchips, heating, furniture

Quite right, luckily McCain used to recognise the importance of the first, although they're remiss these days. Doubtless another feature of Britain under the ConDems broken, in the gutter, in pieces etc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9R_QrbLDiw

Bill A, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 10:07 (nine years ago) link

Micro Chips were a real failure - soggy, and the packet was so small that you needed two.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 5 October 2010 10:15 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

enstein advertising bread? sample dialogue: "energy = mass times the velocity of an egg mayonnaise sandwich... stop thinking about the bread, albert..." dreadful.

koogs, Saturday, 30 October 2010 15:01 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z2nLwEfAoo

Would be better if it ended on a long shot of a dog freezing to death.

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 11:19 (eight years ago) link

Iceland party foods: stuff you could easily make yourself for a tenth of the cost!

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:13 (eight years ago) link

you really couldn't, it's mega cheapness is the one thing it has going for it.

the advert for the pedigree chum jumbone where the manky dog jumps on the white sheets of the bed is stomach turning. they are obv trying to go for the cute youtube angle and seriously misfiring.

jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:25 (eight years ago) link

its

jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:25 (eight years ago) link

this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F57RqqsTRc

repulsive.

jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:27 (eight years ago) link

Online dating from Uniform Dating, as seen on TV, is for women and men in uniform and anyone who wants to date a man in uniform – date a policeman, date a fireman ...

wtmff

e.g. delegates at a set age (ledge), Tuesday, 30 November 2010 15:59 (eight years ago) link

the kelloggs christmas advert.

koogs, Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:14 (eight years ago) link

Was it a dream or did I see an ad for Weetabix a couple of weeks ago featuring a talking family dog saying "get it down ya boy"? If so, I think this will be enough to put me off Weetabix forever, thanks.

What are you doing here? (dog latin), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:09 (eight years ago) link

Can confirm.

Mark G, Monday, 6 December 2010 11:30 (eight years ago) link

you didn't. dog is voiced by simon farnaby, the bloke with the conker for a head / head of pieface records in mighty boosh. (i have seen him twice walking about hammersmith, both times on a pelican crossing going in the opposite direction)

koogs, Monday, 6 December 2010 11:31 (eight years ago) link

oh he's quite funny, or at least quite a likeable bloke in general. i just don't think a slobbering pet dog should be used to advertise quite-sloppy made-for-humans breakfast cereals. And then "get it down ya boy" is just... I don't know, it makes me feel really sick.

What are you doing here? (dog latin), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:35 (eight years ago) link

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY Cat fucking Deeley going "Swish!" argh please god no

a fucking stove just fell on my foot. (Colonel Poo), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:56 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

"Don't get into bed and dirty your sheets when it only takes it a minute to use Easy Feet !"

As if...

soviet, Wednesday, 29 December 2010 00:41 (eight years ago) link

dunno how widespread it is but over here renault are running an absolute embarrassment of an ad comprising 90 seconds of meaningless random free love and let's all get along pseudo environmentalist platitudes over the obligatory clips of happy kids and norwegian executive golfers.

all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 December 2010 00:47 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaM3Ku_KKRw

This kinda makes me want to do horrible things to everyone involved in this advert. Including me for having such a violent reaction to something as painfully unimportant as an smug annoying advert.

전승 Complete Victory (in Battle) (NotEnough), Wednesday, 19 January 2011 21:02 (eight years ago) link

All the Miller Lite ads where hot girls insult their customers (the ones who dress in 80's clothes and do things that no actual human being has ever done)

frogbs, Wednesday, 19 January 2011 21:07 (eight years ago) link

eh, you know the paul whitehouse aviva insurance ads which are puportedly humorous and consist of him being unfunny and doing daft voices? well they've not been great, wouldn't say the worst though. however today i saw the life insurance one, and fuck me, they only have whitehouse as a father watching over his family as they leave for a holiday, enumerating all the different ways they will be provided for, because dun dun dun, he's pan bread and he's talking about his life insurance policy. just horrible, especially because it's jarring in contrast to what had came before.

À la recherche du temps Pardew (jim in glasgow), Sunday, 23 January 2011 17:49 (eight years ago) link

does he wear an hilarious false nose in the afterlife? it seems reasonable that the conclusion of his painful 10-year journey into deep, rounded characters and no jokes is a bunch of shitty adverts.

hoybo with a shoytgun (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 23 January 2011 18:57 (eight years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVkVUJ3HaLA

How the mighty have etc etc.

James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 12:00 (eight years ago) link

Idgi?

Bernard V. O'Hare (dog latin), Sunday, 30 January 2011 13:06 (eight years ago) link

Guy in the hat is Gaz Coombes from Supergrass.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 13:49 (eight years ago) link

Yes but I still don't understand

Bernard V. O'Hare (dog latin), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:41 (eight years ago) link

Boyfriend gets toast and jam all over the fascia of girlfriend's Toyota Yaris. Girlfriend gets revenge by deliberately taking a bad photo of boyfriend with Gaz Coombes.

Yea I don't understand either. The girlfriend should be happy that her boyfriend made the interior of her car slightly less boring by the application of breakfast condiments and toasted bread products. And Gaz Coombes? Guess that Liam was unavailable.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:50 (eight years ago) link

It's basically yet another car ad that tells us nothing at all about the product.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:51 (eight years ago) link

Can't wait to see Simon Fowler in the next Volvo campaign.

James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:00 (eight years ago) link

"The Day We Caught The Train (Because My Volvo's Engine Packed Up)"

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:02 (eight years ago) link

"I never saw it as a coupe, it's more like a spacious estate"

James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:12 (eight years ago) link

Mark from Ride is lined up for the next Renault ad...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02i5GfKiVrQ
(@ 3 minutes)

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:18 (eight years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8YDZKTvWMw

James Mitchell, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 09:32 (eight years ago) link

It's no Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley.

Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 09:34 (eight years ago) link

whitehouse as a father watching over his family as they leave for a holiday, enumerating all the different ways they will be provided for, because dun dun dun, he's pan bread

Funnily enough, I 'got' that he was brown immediately. And I didn't even know why until I saw the ad again. There is a subtle clue in the first shot.

So, for that kind of attention to detail, it gets a half-point from me.

Mark G, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 10:04 (eight years ago) link

The three passports?

Bill A, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:08 (eight years ago) link

yep.

Probably being a family of four, I clicked straightaway.

Mark G, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:11 (eight years ago) link

It took me until the second viewing to catch that detail. First time round I was all like "oh no...he's not...surely they cannot deem this suitable for an ad??".

And Gaz Coombes? Guess that Liam was unavailable.

God, if only if could have been a cameo from Noel, ideally as he emerges from a Londis or betting shop.

Bill A, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:36 (eight years ago) link

"MOUNTAIN TOP!!!"

Mark G, Thursday, 10 February 2011 15:41 (eight years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK3Xz8QrEqQ

James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 February 2011 14:54 (eight years ago) link

our house

conrad, Sunday, 13 February 2011 15:00 (eight years ago) link

can't see youtube was coming to post grandmaster flash and the suburban nappies

conrad, Monday, 14 February 2011 19:04 (eight years ago) link

Anyone who likes 'the message' by grandmaster flash: don't watch the KIA ad I implore you!

dentarthurdent (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:18 (eight years ago) link

Kids in the front room, OAPs in the back
Lib/Cons in the alley trying to increase VAT
I tried to get away, but I couldn't get far
'cause Kia make stupid piece-of-shit cars

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:24 (eight years ago) link

huhhuh huhhuh

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:24 (eight years ago) link

Just saw the Yell advert. Don't understand the haterz tbh, I thought it was kinda sweet.

전승 Complete Victory (in Battle) (NotEnough), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 20:41 (eight years ago) link

Fuck that Virgin Mobile ad that has some voiceover guy speaking the lyrics to 'House Of Fun' by Madness.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 20:49 (eight years ago) link

read this thread and you'll find out about the bad adverts

conrad, Tuesday, 15 February 2011 21:38 (eight years ago) link

more than freeman

conrad, Saturday, 26 February 2011 18:10 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

i'm never eating Jammy Dodgers again

koogs, Friday, 6 May 2011 06:55 (eight years ago) link

Plusnet - "Good Honest Broadband From Yorkshire"

got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Friday, 6 May 2011 07:49 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p93O4xfVag

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 19 September 2011 19:00 (eight years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoX6l6klziU

I want the family in this to perish in a fire.

ha ha ha ha jack my swag (boxedjoy), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 10:45 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

Not a TV ad but...
"There you are, streaming stuff like there's no tomorrow" but then some fucker tries to sell you Sky broadband.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 21 January 2012 18:03 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

Jennifer Saunders' 'Choccy Philly I'll Do Anything For Money Don't Be Silly' ad. When I want to smear excrement coloured chocolate gunk on bread, I buy a jar of Nutella, thank you very much. Also I have one of those purple plastic megaphones. Only £9.99 from Maplin, what a bargain.

a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Monday, 19 March 2012 19:36 (seven years ago) link

I can't tell if this is amazing or terrible:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2_TCZSQzrM

boxedjoy, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:29 (seven years ago) link

going for amazing... but hearing people repeating that, even once, would change my mind

I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:33 (seven years ago) link

I saw that ad for the first time the other day. I'm going for terrible.

ailsa, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:52 (seven years ago) link

Going for terrible. Physically cringing here.

a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:52 (seven years ago) link

The bit where he threw the tea out of the window was funny, they should have made the advert more like "oh, this tea is shite <throws tea out of window> what you want is... Aldi Cheap-o Tea!"

a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:54 (seven years ago) link

It's not shown outside Scotland, right? I assume giving it laldy isn't a concept familiar enough to hang a slogan on anywhere else?

ailsa, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 23:14 (seven years ago) link

That volkswagen one at the moment showing haircuts, accessories etc supposedly from certain years in the past - it's not a terrible advert, but it seems to have been put together by people with no memory of life before the year 2000. The 'boombox' shot from 1995 is at least ten years out, same as the 70s style tennis video game.

Let's Talk About Socks (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 28 March 2012 20:55 (seven years ago) link

These twinings adverts are extraordinary. I think I'm in love. With the adverts, the girl, walking on the beach, the sky, clouds, life itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChxzFDi2nWg

ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 08:59 (seven years ago) link

this 404 link otoh breaks my heart

http://www.twinings.co.uk/about-twinings/latest-news/behind-the-scenes-with-charlene

ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 09:00 (seven years ago) link

Charlene does indeed manage to make it look completely effortless to produce such a beautiful voice and song.

And I'm so glad it has come to Twinings attention that women today juggle numerous roles on a day to day basis.

ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 09:31 (seven years ago) link

why is that bull dressed up like something from dickens and talking like tim nice-but-dim to try and sell us curry sauce. does not compute.

koogs, Thursday, 29 March 2012 18:48 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

British Telecom have a broadband service called 'Infinity'. They've just started a new, faster service called... 'Infinity 2' Twice as much infinity as before!

Cheggers Plays Populous (snoball), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 18:59 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I don't think I get the Dulux one where they paint the room yellow & the son moves out. Is it meant to be too blinding for his daily hangovers?

kinder, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:46 (seven years ago) link

what's with that shaving ad where the guy goes around the world in 5 weeks but only needs one razor. first of all, people who do "around the world in 5 weeks" are neckbeards, no doubt about it. secondly, who are you selling this shit to!?

frogbs, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:49 (seven years ago) link

how about those "Men at Work" commercials, where they're all standing against a blank set, "we could pretend this is a set" like they're some fuckin horrible improv troupe. "I'm chatting up only one lady...but she's the most beautiful lady in the room". "THAT'S MY MOM!!" "IM AT A BAR WITH MOM!" buuuurn, baby!! LOL

frogbs, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:29 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ewNgmYLxI

yuck

owenf, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:40 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZOPVbz21Gc

yuck

owenf, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:41 (seven years ago) link

ugh, using Philadelphia in those recipes a) costs more than and b) doesn't taste as good as using double cream and freshly grated parmesan.

banal like anal (snoball), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:50 (seven years ago) link

has anyone ever described their teeth as "squeaking clean".

koogs, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 09:02 (seven years ago) link

Not until that fucking advert, no. Could it be based on a "kiss this guy" style mishearing of "squeaky clean" by the creative responsible?

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:01 (seven years ago) link

and thusly language "evolves"

korea opportunities (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:28 (seven years ago) link

blooding ridiculous

koogs, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:46 (seven years ago) link

fucky nell

Pacific Trash Vortex (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:51 (seven years ago) link

forking caunts

Radical Jedward (snoball), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:53 (seven years ago) link

Been back in the UK for four weeks now and 'creamy but low in fat' is the most punchable ad ever made, even more than the Choo Choo Choo Trainline one.

kinder, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:55 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

"I just sold my car click click"

I just skipped your ad FUCK OFF

Jeff Goldblum is watching you, pope! (snoball), Thursday, 5 July 2012 08:50 (seven years ago) link

Since that "She's always a woman" ad where a girl goes through all her life until she's a grandma.

Not nomming that one, that's pretty good. But: This ad would not work 'as is' for a guy, he needs some sort of 'achievement' or a different twist on the tale. (I did see a similar one to the first from a guy pov, shown once, can't remember the details, anyway..)

Eventually, a guy one, where the POV is of the daughter growing up, and even though the mum is around it's all the guy's pov (carrying upstairs a sleeping girl, inflating her swilling armbands, etc) until she leaves home for College in the VW her dad bought for her.

Not that one either..

It was the one I saw yesterday. National lottery.

An old woman looks back at how she used to be a brilliant runner but the war intervened and she had to go to work instead, a brief bit of her getting married and having kids, eventually the daughter (or granddaughter it must be it all went a bit quickly) is seen just about to start the race in the Olympics. It's supposed to be uplifting and how the lottery grant committee helps to fulfil ambitions. So why did it seem so depressing in the end?

Did anyone see this one? What kind of tree am I barking up here?

Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:11 (seven years ago) link

swimming armbands, obv.

Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:12 (seven years ago) link

God yeah, I hate that one - there's nothing uplifting about having your dreams shattered but being all benign about it because someone else gets to do it for you 60 years later. There's one for a lawyer firm that's like that too, where some woman is burying her husband but it's all OK because a pregnant stranger smiles at her.

ailsa, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:15 (seven years ago) link

uh? So, what, the pregstrang is the dead guy's affair or something?

Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:21 (seven years ago) link

I think it's some "my husband is dead but hey! there's a random new baby on the way somewhere so I have accepted the circle of life" wise old woman shit.

ailsa, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:33 (seven years ago) link

Those billboard Go Compare ads that look like they've been grafftied on. So many people have fallen for it and put it on Facebook.

Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:48 (seven years ago) link

xpost oh ffs. "Hey widow! Get some perspective!"

Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:55 (seven years ago) link

current Phones 4 U tv ad is the greatest of all time btw

coopflaggypost (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 July 2012 10:16 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Snack enlightenment. Surprised the league against asian defamation haven't created uproar.

Stevolende, Saturday, 21 July 2012 10:35 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

"It has come to Jacomo's attention that the actor who played Egg in the BBC 90's series 'This Life' is about to walk in from of the camera."

a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Saturday, 22 September 2012 10:38 (seven years ago) link

I thought this revive would be about the John Lewis advert. Who thought that was a good idea? (Actually, much fun can be had from being with people seeing it for the first time and trying to guess what it's advertising.)

Current biggest hate is the Philidelphia one where Mum is going to be back late so Dad makes chicken wrapped in bacon - it genuinely looks like it was made by the losing team on an Apprentice task.

During the Olympics I hated the Victoria Pendleton one for Pantene or whatever it was. "Helps me win as an athlete and shine like a woman." Putting to one side the casual sexism, I can't have been the only one that continued with "NO PARTICULAR WOMAN", can I?

passive-aggressive display name (aldo), Saturday, 22 September 2012 12:00 (seven years ago) link

Whoever that sofa company is who are currently running ads for a sofa with a built in iPod dock and speakers.

a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Saturday, 29 September 2012 20:26 (seven years ago) link

That Costa ad that features what looks like people buried up to the neck in shit while singing 'I Was Made For Loving You' by KISS.

a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:29 (seven years ago) link

really hate the truck commercial where the dude shakes the dealer's hand but first wipes mud all over it, wtf come on what is this REAL MEN GET DIRTY ARGGGH bullshit

on the other hand the truck commercial with Peyton Manning where he says "call Papa Bear" and pumps his fist is really one of the greatest commercials ever

frogbs, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:36 (seven years ago) link

> Costa ad

this

koogs, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:38 (seven years ago) link

Brad Pitt. Chanel. Why?!

kinder, Thursday, 18 October 2012 21:49 (six years ago) link

^^^ I don't understand either. I keep substituting the "you are not your job, or how much money you have in the bank" line from Fight Club.

ILX until I die (snoball), Saturday, 27 October 2012 17:28 (six years ago) link

Yes Converse Make Boots

ILX until I die (snoball), Saturday, 27 October 2012 17:29 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Vodafone advert with Yoda on a train helping a woman do a crossword puzzle on her tablet.

Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Saturday, 10 November 2012 21:24 (six years ago) link

What's not to like? It's *yoda* and he's helping People

all the people on the right, boogaloo (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:12 (six years ago) link

Kevin Bacon, go fuck yourself

movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:28 (six years ago) link

BT Broadband students, go kill yourselves

movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:29 (six years ago) link

are they still doing those super sexist bt ones where that one guy is constantly leching on his flatmate?

fun facts about human waste (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 11 November 2012 01:29 (six years ago) link

BT students are the worst. I pine for the return of Kris Marshall and her off of Spooks. Oh no, we can't have a party because we're all incapable of using a cd player, oh fuck off. We can all rent or buy professional dressing-up clothes to sit around our house in, but fibre-optic broadband is beyond us because 'we're students, luv' aargh fuck OFF.

I like Kevin Bacon though.

ailsa, Sunday, 11 November 2012 11:49 (six years ago) link

The definitive Sherlock, solving crime with the help of Beechams.

Chewshabadoo, Sunday, 11 November 2012 12:47 (six years ago) link

The real Sherlock Holmes would have taken certain powders for a cold, but not Beechams.
btw the first result on a Google search for 'sherlock beechams' links to a sneezing fetish forum.

Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Sunday, 11 November 2012 13:44 (six years ago) link

xposts what ailsa said, yes.

Mark G, Sunday, 11 November 2012 16:57 (six years ago) link

notice how the smug nerdy bt student has already been reduced to an animated gif in the latest BT advert ?

maybe some market research backed up ailsa's definitive view point ...

mark e, Sunday, 11 November 2012 18:46 (six years ago) link

I know someone who looks strikingly like BT advert student bloke and gets the ise taken out of him all the time, which is a shame cos he's a nice guy.