It's A-Level results time again! You all know what that means, don't you?

lock thread, people - they're TRIPLETS.

It's like a Telegraph photo editors wet dream, isn't it?

especially when I saw it was Matt that started it.

http://www.granadakids.com/aliens/231x202_patrickniknejad.gif

i trawled the telegraph and go nothing.

Maybe there's a DVD in this.

The Times also had a couple from Colchester Grammar on the inside pages who weren't too shabby. :-D Not as intriguing as The Independent's Page 18 girl (see inside for more details)...

I remember when you could rely on the Tory press to be classist and lecherous. This is all David Cameron's fault.

xpost: yeah, on my school's website all I needed to do was login and there they were. avoiding the cameras is an art, my friend.

(surely!)

it's different, of course, at university. :)

I know we've probably done this to death before, but I never read this in the papers...is it or is it not true that O and A level grades used to be determined on a statistical basis? A population histogram was plotted of all the results for a particular subject/exam board combination, and grades were allocated the top 10%, next 15%, etc. So, if half the people taking the exam got 90% - it wouldn't automatically get you an 'A', but only if you were inside the top 10% of results.

In this way, pass rates and grade rates hardly ever changed, regardless of whether it was an easy paper (JMB Maths O Level 1984 - 90+ for an A) or a hard paper (JMB Chemistry O Level 1982 - I think 45 got you a B or something). You were being measured against your peers, not just a scorechart.

Or am I totally misremembering this? And if I'm not, why doesn't someone just say, "Yeah, we changed the system in 199x - 75% gets you an 'A' in all circumstances now."

(This is not me rattling off excuses for my 1986 A-C-E-O grades; I was just rubbish).

This year they have drafted in SCOOTER in an effort to calm them down: http://scream-.bebo.com

xpost

A-Levels were still the hardest academic challenge I can remember facing, although I blame that almost entirely on MATHS.

most universities do not count it as an a-level.

All I remember is having to fill in boxes very carefully on the exam paper because it was marked by what was probably in those days a very high-tech computer. I don't suppose ability to colour inside the lines was what we were really being examined on though. Oh I also remember writing an essay about the national lottery.

gen studs was divided into things like 'life skills' and 'basic computing', at our school. it is possible that you can tell i didn't do it.

xpost

I did fantastically well at all of it, of course, which made up for my sorry efforts in the "proper" subjects.

(JMB General Studies A level was the only Gen Studs qualification accepted as a valid grade by some universities at the time; maybe other exam boards just got you to do some colouring in or something).

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2006/08/24/gcse64.jpg

As for this, is it really worth making six year olds take a GCSE if they're only going to get a G in it? Presumably they'll retake it a few years later in order to achieve a higher grade?

Over 96% people of people taking A-levels are pretty 18 year old girls. FACT.
-- Dave B (daveb), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:34 (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Since it has now been 10 years since I was an 18-year old pretty girl, am I getting too old to get away with scanning the broadsheets every year for this?

you're never too old to get away with something

The triplets : pick only one.

All three are on Facebook, I might not need to.

I am NOT a prevertalist! But can you imagine having all three laid out on their bellies in front of you, and going from bottom to bottom just kissing them gently? I CAN.

-- Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 20 August 2004 09:21 (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

http://daily.greencine.com/archives/fallen-idol-150.jpg

Great now i have the mental image of MattDC, naked, with several broadsheets on the table, and an HP Scanjet working overtime with pretty young girl photos.

If I ever have triplets, and they're fit, and are doing well in school, everytime before they study I shall remind them of the amount of wanking they will induce throughout the country should they dare to get all As.

that Southy post made me laugh. if only there was some thread i could quote it on.

perversior.

come on then, where are this year's pictures?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44062000/jpg/_44062059_alevel203bod.jpg

The Beeb lose points for apparently including a non-white girl in a headscarf - a sackable offence surely?

Same photo on the Guardian

http://image.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2007/08/16/exams8.jpg

OK. Slightly later/earlier in their leap.

But you can always rely on the Telegraph - for quantity and quality

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2007/08/16/hulevels.jpg

The Times

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00198/alevels5_198782a.jpg

Express

http://www.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/x190/16557_2.jpg

mmmmmm, see you in october :)

It's hard to pick which of these girls looks like the most persuasive instigator of a drunken wanking contest. I'm gonna say the one from the Times, on the left

No chance - Express Ginger is a drunken wanking champion, I'd put money on it.

Ew.

The Express Girls are twins!

express photo has lez up fantasy value, and has the ginger girl from girls aloud in it.

whereas times girl on the right is sweet + mouth wide open

I love them! I love them all!!

Times is winning it for me.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08_02/students160807_468x387.jpg

Oh dear. C- for the Daily Mail. Must try harder.

roffle @ tongue boy

by roffle you meant "rolling on floor furiously leaking ejaculate"

sweet jesus

best worst thread ever...

(the local newspaper websites are a further source of jumping young people)

"jumping young people"

Jumping for joy or merely 'tombstoning'?

The girl on the left in the Times one looks like Linda Robson.

Daily Mail = Dick from Veronica Mars got his A-Levels!

http://images.newsquest.co.uk/image.php?id=640222&type=full

Fops.

Riven with sexual jealousy.

That's the dudes in the photo, not me.

sez u.

Jealous fops.

Every single one of them is hoping to get her absolutely plastered tonight before making their move. I think the calm and slightly detached one on the right will be successful.

so gonna happen.

all of them, that is.

Even that guy lurking in the background?

And the photographer

B and two C's! yay!

ah, what a day it's been.

A-Level result day was a bummer. I got the grades for the uni I didn't want to go to, even though it was my first choice. In hindsight I shoulda stayed at that uni. Met my friends we walked around a bit, went to HMV, then home.

ooh can we make this a thread about results days past? i went MENTAL when i got mine...

ITN:

http://itn.co.uk/news/story012fc647c6f2a083906aeb534880a50a.jpg

Reuters comes through (there are no pictures of boys on their site):

http://i.today.reuters.com/pictures/galleries/Stories/633228633058125000/Previews/mdf1102915.JPG
http://i.today.reuters.com/pictures/galleries/Stories/633228633058125000/Previews/mdf1103007.JPG
http://i.today.reuters.com/pictures/galleries/Stories/633228633058125000/Previews/mdf1103008.JPG

<3 <3
 o

they were so blantantly posing for the camera though.

from the transition of the earlier times photo to this photo, the cardigan girl could not have kept her mouth open like that for that long. or she would lock her jaws.

oh locked jaws.

"Hold on, she's hugging a guy, we'll never get on to the front page of the Telegraph this way"

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/galleries/alevel07/hugPA_249x350.jpg

hey girls! i can't wait for freshers' week! :):):)

the third reuters one is the two times girls.

"Hooray, I've just heard, The Times wants us for their front cover, provided we're prepared to lez it up a bit!"

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/galleries/alevel07/happyPA_350x257.jpg

"Oh hello... Mr. Rusbridger? OK, we'll wear the short skirts provided our photo is bigger than the one on the Stock Market crash"

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/galleries/alevel07/resultsPA_350x247.jpg

anyway, everyone knows the third-years have all the real fun in freshers' week.

lololol xpost

is there a facebook group for 'enforce school uniforms for all A-Level students' yet?

haha how did this thread get even better

http://i.today.reuters.com/pictures/galleries/Stories/633228633058125000/Previews/mdf1103007.JPG

This is the best picture. It has that crucial ambiguity - is it joy? Is it despair? Is it both? Is there a less attractive girl not showing any leg who happens to be celebrating six As, just out of shot? That sort of thing.

The two girls from Reuters are the same two girls from the Times, aren't they? How do the UK's photographers know which schools to turn up as? Do their press officers send out covert photos beforehand?

Open mouth girl is in the FT as well (on page two sadly). R3b3cca P1nd3r from Withington Girls School apparently. God bless the Withington PR department.

Yes, its the broadsheet photo editor's male british ilxor's favourite day of the year!

How do the UK's photographers know which schools to turn up as?

I don't think it's a stretch to assume there are newspaper editors with daughters at posh schools.

xp - could someone please add Lizard King where appropriate, ta.

I don't think it's a stretch to assume there are newspaper editors with daughters at posh schools.

Uncomfortable images of Alan Rusbridger or Paul Dacre, in the throes of a midlife crisis, letching all over their daughter's teenage friends every time they turn up at the house.

LOLz, that reminds me of that story one of Brian Wilson's daughters told of how she hated bringing any of her friends over to her house because Bri would just stare at their legs

...while making fire-engine noises and standing in a sandbox

As Cameron marches on towards number 10, the Telegraph has clearly dropped all pretense at cuddly diversity and gone for the route one 'three posh blonde girls approach'.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00790/a-level-results-460_790572c.jpg

Disappointing.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00790/alevels_smile-460_790327c.jpg

Slightly disturbing shot from Withington Girls' School in Manchester. Telegraph photo editors be needing to up their game.

Where is the jumping?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/14/article-1044773-02463C4000000578-779_468x306.jpg

Daily Mail fares slightly better. I suppose we have to wait until tomorrow for the real action?

I just nearly gave myself a hernia laughing at my Jimmybommy post from four years ago. I'd forgotten about this thread.

I am awaiting next year, when they start getting 4 A* grades instead of 4 As - "but... it's one higher, isn't it".

And then Louis' response! HAHAHAHAHA

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/galleries/alevel07/hugPA_249x350.jpg

This one from last year - she totally failed.

"2 Bs and a C - i'll have to go to FUCKING LOUGHBOROUGH"

There's such drama in that one, girl on the left is clearly none too happy with the boyfriend, and feels she should be the recipient of the hug.

Also is the dude, gasp, not white?

"I'm looking where your hands are, boyo."

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Education/Pix/pictures/2007/05/09/alevelresults-ln140x130.jpg

Front(web)page of The Guardian.

Oh god now we get videos - http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/video/2007/aug/17/alevels

That head teacher is a post-op.

"If they get their results in their bedrooms via email, what will the broadsheets put on their covers?"

It's A-Level results time again! You all know what that means, don't you?

I had forgotten this thread, and had assumed the answer to the above was "the annual debate about how A-Levels were easier in our day, blah blah dumbing down OH NOES THE STATE OF THE COUNTRY" etc.

But I might have guessed that it would be photos of pretty posh girls hugging other pretty posh girls, with some amazing displays of "OMG WOULD TOTALLY DO ALL THESE 17 YEAR OLDS"

The latter is way more amusing, btw.

Meanwhile, at The Independent - http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/you-write-the-caption--130808-893689.html

I'm pretty sure I saw that head teacher in the League of Gentlemen once or twice.

Oh sorry, THIS IS THE THING - http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/universities-the-grade-a-problem-894506.html

Em's volunteered to work on Exeter Uni's clearing phoneline today (she works in admissions, and knows full well that all spaces this year are already full here) - she's got lots of posh teenagers crying at her.

Also, statistically ailsa, most of those girls MUST be 18. Which makes it OK.

Just Got Offed Jr. (aka Frankie) discovers today quite how badly he's fucked his AS-levels up. Good luck bro!

Check out the Torygraph - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/education/2556552/Quadruplets-score-top-results-in-A-Levels.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00790/oke-quadruplets-a-l_790577c.jpg

The Times lets me down by having Phelps' nose on the webpage rather than teenage girls - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00383/Phelps360_383081a.jpg

That is an awesome photo, mind.

Awesomely terrifying. He looks like Cthulhu.

Scik, chances are they are all over the age of consent*, so technically it's OK anyway. If you were needing legal approval for perving, like.

* except ickle diving dude in his swimming trunks, which was like the worst photo you could have accidentally linked to in a thread for pervs

Daily Express has exactly the same pictures as the Daily Mail, wtf?

(Not an accident - biggest image on that paper's homepage today!)

this isn't a thread for pervs

it's a DAY for pervs

Daily Mirror's response? A couple having sex in a phonebox outside a crown court - http://images.mirror.co.uk/collections/sifr_text_bgs/DarkRed145x300-BalloonRight.gif

Bastards.

Also, statistically ailsa, most of those girls MUST be 18. Which makes it OK.

i was 17 when i got my A-level results

You were also a boy, Alex.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05_03/bigcowBNS_468x577.jpg

Chilli the giant Friesian cow, who weighs over a ton and stands 6'6".

Get this crap off my thread.

my being a boy wouldn't have made me more likely to be 18

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/article/13298887/2008/08/14/12279473.jpg

Mirror.co.uk knows what it's doing.

Oh good god.

"Your results are totally... HOT!"

When are the GCSE results?

Now, those girls are younger..

Mostly legal.

Are flares really back in? That's a file photo from 1998 isn't it?

Flares are always back in, seemingly.

It's cos they make your thighs look thinner.

Me'n'gf went to Wetherspoon's for lunch today, found ourselves completely surrounded by revelling ex-schoolchildren. She'd been wondering why she was ID'd at 25! Extra vigilance from the barworkers, clearly.

The main Wetherspoon's in Exeter is a massive old hotel on the outskirts of town, very close to the uni AND the FE college, and it has a HUGE rolling lawn that leads towards the train station.

Just saying, like.

FULL of teenage girls in strappy vest tops crying and sloshing Pimms.

I now have an image of you feverishly imagining them all laid out on their bellies in front of you.

Verily, today we are all extras in an episode of Skins.

I ended up in that position last summer when I went to a party at a friend's house, she had an 18 year old flatmate at the time who brought along a load of her friends and I felt deeply old and practically ran away screaming. Teenagers applying fake tattoos to each other's bodies using their tounges = eww.

Skins fascinated me,

Cambridge and Exeter Wetherspoon's are the two biggest pubs in Britain, aren't they?

I dunno, but I wouldn't be surprised by that (not that I've ever seen the Cambridge one).

Cambridge one is enormous, just checking the web for verification. I've actually heard of the Exeter one before.

Also before Dom storms along in full sub-editor-scorned mode, I appreciate now that there is in fact no apostrophe in Wetherspoons.

I'd say that somewhere like the walkabout on Shepherd's Bush Green has got a bigger internal bar area than Exeter Wetherspoons, but no garden.

I reckon the Walkabout in Bristol is bigger than the one on Shepherd's Bush Green.

Never been to the Bristol one. God no.

Only place that is reliable for showing rugby league.

I've never been to the Wetherspoons in Exeter, although I do like Exeter. The landlady of a pub I used to drink in once had a pub on the green near the cathedral, is it The Ship?

Also before Dom storms along in full sub-editor-scorned mode, I appreciate now that there is in fact no apostrophe in Wetherspoons.

there is in fact no s in JD Wetherspoon.

lol i read this thread title, AND I TOTALLY KNEW THE CORRECT ANSWER

JD Wetherpoon has a certain ring to it, yes Ken!

aldo; There is a pub by the cathedral green called The Ship, aye, but it's down a side alley rather than facing straight onto the green.

This is a better thread than that other one. Oh and props to J4ggers 2 and 3, of course, the one for getting ABB to meet his Leeds offer and the other ABCE at AS.

Now, on with the show...

this is just calling for a joke about sequels.

jag harder

with a vengeance

Live free or jag hard

indiana j4gger and the dimple of pwn

electric boogaloo

Dr. Jag
From Russia With Jag
Jagfinger
Thunderjag
You Only Jag Twice
On Her Jagesty's Secret Service
Diamonds Jag Forever
Live And Let Jag
The Man With The Golden Jag
The Spy Who Loved Jag
Jagraker
For Your Jags Only
Jaggopussy
A View To A Jag
The Jagging Daylights
License To Jag
GoldenJag
Tomorrow Never Jags
The Jag Is Not Enough
Jag Another Day
Casino Jagale
Quantum Of Jagace
Jag 23

... In 3-D

mmmmmm, see you in october :)

― Just got offed, Thursday, 16 August 2007 14:23 (2 years ago) Bookmark

; )

apparently the new 3-D is different from the old 3-D ... if you watch a new 3-D movie, with old-style glasses it doesn't look quite right.

lol yeah surely Jags, Jags 2, Jags 3-D and Jags: The Revenge

^^ good one.

Also a tasty (if you like MSG) sub-Monster Munch style snack.

then you have Jagport, Jagport 1975, Jagport '77 and The Concorde...Jagport '79

then the ghost of Custos past appears and you howl for your very soul

... oh man, that production of "christmas carol" I was in in high school ... had almost forgotten about it, until that theater thread.

Carry on Jagging

jag seeming a bit creepy upthread with his come hither little girls in freshers week routine. not that i didn't also do the same.

i *think* younger me was 'trying to be funny' :-/

that describes the rationale behind about half of ilx posts ...

Stop ruining my beautiful innocent and pure 'perving on girls who were six
years old when I did my A-Levels' thread.

Post some goddamn pics then!

http://gossipcandy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/hansen2.jpg

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01465/examResults5_1465865c.jpg

"These pretty girls had the easiest exams in history so they're otherwise pretty much completely worthless".

The Telegraph has this down to a fine art by now.

^_^

hey guardian, you're doing it wrong:

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2009/8/20/1250767747331/A-girl-looks-at-her-A-lev-001.jpg

Em suggested that this year all the pictures, instead of being of blonde girls lezzing it up over envelopes, is of spotty bespectacled teenage boys crying at not getting a place because of the government's almighty-15-year-get-everyone-to-university-by-making-A-levels-easier-then-cutting-the-places fuck-up.

When did the A-level hottie phenomenon actually begin? I'll admit to failure to notice outright hotness of 99.5 per cent of the admittedly attractive girls pictured. Has it always been the case or did it just become something noticed by male ILXors upon the approach of 30?

Think Private Eye noted it about a decade ago at least.

it's definitely become more prevalent - would probably date it to the time when girls started outperforming boys in exams so picture editors were let off the leash a bit because it was "the story". but it's always been received wisdom in newspapers that both men and women prefer looking at pictures of women. (not sure how true this is, but publishers obviously believe it.)

when Kurt Cobain blew his head off with a shotgun and 'Orrible Oasis arrived in the Spring of 1994, these 2009 A-Level kids were 3 year olds / or just approaching 3

Joe, I can get with the idea of the pix appearing just in time to trivialize young women's achievements re: exams - it's an interesting premise, and probably subconscious competition/goalpost-moving in whitemale land - but unless you have something major to share with the group re. your expertise in newspapers, telling me what's 'received wisdom' in the industry is deeeeeeeeply ironic.

HURRAH

daily mail
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/18/article-1304296-0ABE02A9000005DC-510_468x286.jpg

guardian
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2009/7/31/1249049492101/A-level-results-001.jpg

What's Jamie Oliver doing in that top one?

the telegraph, as ever, brings its a-game with a model, at a public school:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01465/Rebecca-Thompson_1465793c.jpg

Beeb, using the "More A*s were awarded to girls" line

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48791000/jpg/_48791644_010002521-1.jpg

Ditto Tottygraph

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01699/a-level_1699464c.jpg

potential for skullduggery

I know some of you are concerned that we haven't used any photos of boys. Believe me, we are trying ... literally all the pictures from photo agencies that we use are of girls.

But the good news is we've just, yes, at 10.46am, found one of a boy, which you can see right here.

But if there are disgruntled chaps out there, there is a way to redress the balance: send your pics to 4lex4n✧✧✧.topp✧✧✧@gu4rd✧✧✧.c✧.u✧ and we'll get them on the page.

private eye had a couple of pieces in the last few weeks about how the guardian's been sending round memos saying they need to "brighten up" the news pages. taking a leaf from the telegraph. as a result they ran file pics of girls hugging to celebrate their results five days early, which is like when shops put up their christmas decorations in august imo.

in other news, the first pics of twins have just landed on the wires, so presumably they'll be up on the websites soon.

"Hello... mum? Mum? Good news... I managed to get on the Telegraph site..."

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01699/students-front-190_1699435c.jpg

Beeb girls turn up at the Mail

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/19/article-1304345-0AD7F25E000005DC-168_468x353.jpg

having trouble fitting this image into any sort of narrative/sense:

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/8/19/1282214610612/A-level-results-001.jpg

c/o guardian

it's like something out of inception

"beauty AND brains", the daily mail remarks in astonishment of miss newcastle 2009 and her BBBs:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/19/article-1304345-0AD830E5000005DC-628_468x308.jpg

"Congrats! We're bound to end up on the Mail website with this pose."

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/19/article-1304345-0AD822E0000005DC-547_468x544.jpg

Nice to see 40 year olds taking A levels.

Mixed emotions: Ben Scheffer achieved 3 A* and 3 A grades but has no university place chance of appearing on the front cover of today's Mail

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/19/article-1304345-0AD8751A000005DC-375_233x423.jpg

^ Oops: Mixed emotions: Ben Scheffer achieved 3 A* and 3 A grades but has no university place chance of appearing on the front cover of today's Mail

That's because that picture has no potential for triggering "they all lez up" fantasies in crusty old DM reading farts sitting in wing back chairs by fireplaces drinking port while a butler stand dutifully by the door with a silver tray in his hand.

i dunno would a kleenex not be better than a silver tray but tradition is a strange thing

The silver tray has a monogrammed handkerchief on it.

Indy joins in

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00434/Pg-38-exams-getty_434944t.jpg

well this was inevitable:

http://sexyalevels.tumblr.com/

Evening Standard

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/girlsresults415.jpg

L-R A*, A, "look, I got enough to get into my second choice uni, OK?"

xp well done, a book deal is on it's way to you.

OH MY WORD YOU CAN SEE HER PANTS

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39971000/jpg/_39971998_tripletspa.jpg

I will never not be in love with either of these triplets fyi. It is my goal in life to track one down and marry her and get all BRAGGIN to this thread.

xp Is that the name of your favourite Phot0shop filter?

*Despairs at laaaaaame fashion choices of random 18-year-olds*
*boaks at sight of Jack Wills separates*

fucking PLAID SHIRTS on all boys everywhere, ughhhhh

tbh it's actually a more annoying cliché now to complain that all the papers only run pictures of girls for this story, wish everyone on twitter would stfu about it. WE KNOW.

hi suzy. i missed that you called me out on something last year:

Joe, I can get with the idea of the pix appearing just in time to trivialize young women's achievements re: exams - it's an interesting premise, and probably subconscious competition/goalpost-moving in whitemale land - but unless you have something major to share with the group re. your expertise in newspapers, telling me what's 'received wisdom' in the industry is deeeeeeeeply ironic.

― gossip and complaints (suzy), Friday, 21 August 2009 12:12 (11 months ago) Bookmark

belatedly: i didn't think i was saying anything that controversial, but fwiw i work for a newspaper, covering education.

but fwiw i work for a newspaper, covering education.

Phwoooaarrrrrr! Eh? Eh?

hahahahaha, no, you weren't - but there was an assumption on your part that I didn't know How Newspapers Work which I found amusing, all things considered.

oic, i didn't really make assume that as it's not a very well-kept secret that you're in the media, i was just sounding off generally to the whole class.

SUZY WORKS IN THE MEDIA?!

these people are almost too young to date me - yall must be hard suspendin

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/54f49ade-bc80-11e0-adac-00144feabdc0.html#axzz1VMcUdwRZ

Guardian iPhone app story has a picture of two girls from las year who look sad.

Given that it's raining and the media seem absolutely fucking hellbent on this year doing nothing but spread misinformation and negativity about getting into university, I reckon we're not in for a vintage year.

is EVERYTHING on twitter today going to pointing this out for the 948340338340th year running

*be

Yes. Yes it is.

why do people still think it is a droll or pertinent thing to point out? seriously at this point just write a letter to the picture editors if it bothers you that much

If it was hot tennis boys getting their results you'd not be in a strop.

Truth bomb.

i'm not in a strop about the pictures of pretty girls! i'm vaguely irritated by people wheeling out the same "observations" on them year upon year as though it's a thing that needs to be noted

i mean if you just like looking at the pretty girls fair enough but quit with the note of disapproval if that's the case (talking to ~twitter~ here not nick or matt specifically)

Thing is, it's not an original observations, or even particularly disapproving, it's just amusing watching the levels of barefaced shamelessness that photo editors will sink to in a relatively innocent and faux-worthy context.

Matt OTM

Yeah, it's funny, almost increasingly, especially given all the "our teenagers are rioting looting patois-talking thugs" crap spilled by the papers most likely to go full-throttle with this in recent weeks.

There's a weird intangible reason why this is funny and, say, Mail Online's sidebar of tits-and-Z-listers isn't.

neither of them are funny!!

It's like any "observational comedy"..

The first guy mentions it, people go "oh yeah"

Then those people tell their friends, and they go "ah!"

And so it goes on, viral.

Eventually Michael Macintyre uses it as part of his stage act, and his audience think "Yeah, I noticed that too! He's like me, that guy"

NOTHING IS FUNNY

It's like any "observational comedy"..

The first guy mentions it, people go "oh yeah"

Then those people tell their friends, and they go "ah!"

And so it goes on, viral.

Eventually Michael Macintyre uses it as part of his stage act, and his audience think "Yeah, I noticed that too! He's like me, that guy"

― Mark G, Thursday, August 18, 2011 9:00 AM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF FUNNY

But you're funny, lex

Mark has not actually outlined why it's funny, in fact he's done the opposite.

I honestly don't understand why any kids would bother rioting when they're evidently giving out A-grades to everyone now.

Matt DC is right in what I outlined.

And you were right that this is what makes it increasingly less funny for the likes of us witty + urbane sophisticates

"Have you ever noticed that most observational comedy isn't actually funny? "

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3387/3524147233_61cfce0df7.jpg

It's a bit like footballers fighting on the pitch or people writing 'FUCK OFF BACK TO ETON' on pictures of David Cameron. It's neither witty, clever nor original but somehow it never gets old.

it has gotten very old!

And so have we.

Nice touch to bring up Michael McIntyre, the "unfunny comic" lex blew a gasket over during Wimbledon (which was funny)

Matt and I are both, what, 32 now. Scary. Lex are you 30 yet?

not even close

I fucking hate McIntyre and would like to see him burnt alive. But this makes me an atrocious comedy snob according to some twat in the Telegraph.

I was actually wondering how Lex would cope with Michael McIntyre without going nuclear and smashing things, given that he is teethgrindingly annoying to people who actually like comedy.

xpost I didn't see that.

It's funny, I've resisted having a 'pop' at MicMac as I'd never seen his act on TV, just bits of him introducing the next comic on stage (and his expert analysis on BGTalent, obv).

And then I did, and it was much the same as his introductions, i.e. nothing to actually remember.

He just shouts, as far as I can tell. And he has no eyes.

There is a WOMAN eating A POTATO uhauahauahauHAUAHAUAHAUAHAUAHA

I used to go to a lot of comedy nights back when, but when ObsCom took over I got less interested and stopped.

Went recently, t'was much the same.

Of course, now it's a defined career choice for many.

Anyway, back to the a-levs...

OH MICHAEL MCINTYRE'S THAT CUNT WHO WAS AT WIMBLEDON

KILL HIM

this is how it panned out at the time

They are interviewing a severely unfunny comedian on the BBC while we wait for Azza. FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU AWFUL CUNT. Maybe a strategy to make even Azarenka seem welcome.

― the smoke cloud of pure hatred (lex pretend), Tuesday, June 28, 2011 5:51 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Haha yes I hate Michael McIntyre or however you spell it. Does he even listen to the interviewer's questions? He answered every question completely incorrectly. Who is the womens champion going to be? OH I DONT WANT ANOTHER FEDERER-NADAL final. Will you do the Murray impression? YES I WILL BE CHEERING HIM ON LOL

― uberweiss, Tuesday, June 28, 2011 5:55 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ta.

I don't think that adequately crystalises how annoying he is. You need a bit more high pitched whooping and at least 15 more LOLs (directed at himself).

Pretty GIRLS on the COVER of a BROADSHEET NEWSPAPER uhauahauahauHAUAHAUAHAUAHAUAHA

Talking of Wimbledon, Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki :-O

Anyway, here is the Guardian using the medium to make an actual political point about the widening gap between state and private education:

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Education/Pix/pictures/2009/8/20/1250757941277/A-level-results-Fiona-Var-001.jpg

Posh girls = happy.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/8/3/1312387691395/Students-Receive-Their-A--007.jpg

Less posh girls = sad.

Talking of Wimbledon, Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki :-O

Wozniacki is now on a three-match losing streak. Just lost b2b opening rounds to Roberta Vinci and Christina McHale :o

McIlroy looks like a troll.

I don't know how/whether these things are connected.

They're an item, keep up, lex

Do kids really still physically go into school and open envelopes with their results printed on pieces of paper? How quaint.

Wish I'd planned ahead a bit further as I'm going out for dinner in Blackheath this evening and the place is going to be *full* of annoying posh kids out on the lash. And also frustrated looking kids who can't go out on the lash because their parents have taken them out for a celebratory dinner and they're looking awkward and wishing they were elsewhere.

I would have thought the reason this crops up year after year is simple - kids graduate every year. They wanna see them and their kind in the papers and get excited. As far as they care its all about them, for that moment. They dont give a shit it's happened for millenia. I know I didnt in year 12.

I don't think the pictures are put there for the benefit of the kids...

Kiddy fiddlers maybe

tbh I'm surprised Kleenex aren't sponsoring these articles.

http://cdn.imposemagazine.com/__data/liliputkleenex.5.jpg

Yay Kleenex!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY2nXUUvwg4

y did lex have to ruin this fun day

Special Eviction Edition!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2038820/Dale-Farm-eviction-Travellers-glee-judge-halts-closure-illegal-site-11th-hour.html

Oh man, I'm sure that twat Johnny Marbles in the TV coverage of this story

...I saw, that is... I tawt I taw a podgy twat

Plain-looking students' exam success goes undocumented

There's a BOY in the Guardian picture.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/8/15/1376574154055/Students-receive-their-A--007.jpg

Times has TWO BOYS and only ONE GURL.

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/multimedia/archive/00441/134605206__441543c.jpg

Telegraph have gone for a mental, and slightly meta, slideshow.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/uknews/10244946/In-Pictures-girls-jumping-to-celebrate-A-level-results.html?frame=2644750

And another! Of boys!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/uknews/10245142/In-Pictures-boys-jumping-to-celebrate-A-level-results.html

But not as many. Nowhere near as many.

Just occurred to me that I met Em on the day she got her A Level results. And was thus drunk in a pub. And she worked behind the counter in the record store. And I married her. It's like my whole life is a giant wank fantasy.

Gonna get her to do some jumps whilst holding paper later on, and Instagram it.

Guardian: 3 girls on the homepage, same 3 on the news story. They are reporting it LIVE. No jumping.

Telegraph: 3 girls on the homepage, 3 different girls on the news story. No jumping.

Independent: 2 girls on the homepage, 6 (six!) on the news story. No jumping on cover; possible jumping on news story.

love the yearly evolution in tone this thread takes

oh uk

we don't have frats tbf

Or boys.

lol

I'm sad we missed 2014.