How do you reassure your spouse after said spouse has shared a bed with a masturbating college friend without dissolving into a fit of hysterical laughter?

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I kind of wish this was a hypothetical situation.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I was hoping you could tell ME! I never know what to do when this happens.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Basically I was caught off-guard by the information to do any serious consoling or empathizing. I suspect I might be in the doghouse now.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

this is too unclear
I need details to assess:
friend male or female?

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

picture this guy masturbating next to you would probably kill the laughter.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I suspect I might be in the doghouse now.

Um, especially if she finds out you posted the story on ile?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)Yes, but I don't think Dan being turned on is the proper response either.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

friend = female

Me: Are you sure?
Her: Well, she could have been having convulsions in her sleep... really specific, short-duration convulsions.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Her: IT'S NOT FUNNY!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why are you telling me this???
Her: Who else am I going to tell?
Me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(Heh EDR OTM I suspect but hey I LIVE DANGEROUSLY)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm confused which spouse shared the bed and why?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe the friend was just itchy...

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My spouse is currently on an extended trip. A friend from college visited her for the weekend and, to save money, shared her hotel room. Since my spouse already had a roommate, my spouse and her friend shared a bed. Apparently one night there was wanking. My spouse was all traumatized and couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I could not help but laugh because how ridiculous is this situation?

(xpost OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAH)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

That's pretty tactless of the visitor, but I can't imagine getting too worked about this.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever you do, don't say, "Don't worry, I'm SURE she wasn't thinking about you!"

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, find out if your wife went to college with Gear's roommate.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Having made THAT particular mistake in the past, I will not be doing so again.

(xpost HAHAHAHAHA I know for a fact that these are two seperate people but how fantastic would it be if they weren't?)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

If they're not at least related, that means Carnal Tactlessness is loose in the gene pool.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Unless Gear! has been living in Brooklyn for the past... seven? years, we're not talking about the same woman.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

The roomate has a sister, maybe?

This sounds like a bad porn movie premise.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha "The Double Life Of Anal Annie/Millie The Masturbator"

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

It ends with the sisters having a threesome with Tweedy.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that your nickname for Dan?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"Millie the Masturbator" sounds like a Cab Calloway song. I'll bet she's into scat.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Tweedy Dan, it could work!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha oh ewwwww hahaha

xpost

― oops (Oops), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't Milko my Wilco

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if the wanker was awake or if she was wanking in her sleep.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe she was possessed?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Or having sex with a ghost.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

who you gonna call?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"I had this weird dream about dialing a rotary phone, and I really liked it!"

(weird xpost with jel)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"dialing a rotary phone" is a fantastic euphemism.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

harvard women's swim
team slang for masturbation:
"winding it" (oh yeah)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew I should've gone to an Ivy League skool.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

-- VengaDay Perrn (djperr...), June 21st, 2004 4:56 PM. (later)

Me: honey, check out www.ilxor.com

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

That's pretty tactless of the visitor, but I can't imagine getting too worked about this.

well yeah, the visitor was the worked up one.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Clipse to thread! (AKA TS: "windin'" vs "grindin'")

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Workin' It Lyrics
(Don Henley/Frank Simes/Stan Lynch)

Ah, it's open season here my friend
It always is; it always has been
Welcome, welcome to the U.S.A.
We're partying fools in the autumn of our heyday
And though we're running out of everything
We can't afford to quit
Before this binge is over
We've got to squeeze off one more hit
We're workin' it
Workin' it

Soon you will be dancing face-to-face
With the limits of ambition and the scars of the marketplace
Welcome to the land of flame and fizz
Where you will learn that packaging is all that heaven is

We got the little black car, the little black dress
Got the guru, the trainer, the full court press
We got the software, hard drive, CD-ROM
We got the exploitation.com
We got the pager, cell phone, bootleg methaqualone
The media, the message: you are what you own
We got the agent, lawyer, lapdog, voyeur
Talk show, book deal, round mouth, square meal

We're so busy covering our asses, we just can't commit
“Oh, back off, don't bother me, baby
Can't you see I'm workin' it”
Workin' it

It's plain to see Miss Liberty has not yet come of age
But, she loves to feed the animals as long as they're locked up in the cage
And everybody knows the girl's got balls of brass
Aw, kiss my ass

(Solo)
We've got a whole new class of opiates
To blunt the stench of discontent
In these corporation nation-states
Where the loudest live to trample on the least
They say it's just the predatory nature of the beast

But, the barons in the balcony are laughing
And pointing to the pit
They say, “Aw look, they've grown accustomed to the smell
Now, people love that shit
And we're workin' it.”
Workin' it

We got the short-term gain, the long-term mess
We got the suffocating, quarterly consciousness
Yes man, run like a thief

New York to Hollywood, hype and glory
Special effects, no story
Yes man, run like a thief

Workin' it
Workin' it

Well, you don't know who the enemy is
You don't know
You don't know who the enemy is

Company man
“Eight for me, one for you”
(Workin' it)
“Very fair”
Business as usual, business as usual

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Yo! Here comes the intro
It's time to let it go
I live the life of my rhyme, I think I'll let it show
So, keep it goin' so the mic can stay warm
Then I know I've been doin' my job 'cause there'll be sweat pourin'
So pick and choose your weapon but don't slip
I'm here to kill you boys with the flex of my mic grip
So pump your fist like this, but don't miss
The hook and the break when you decide to dance to this
Lyrical concept that's meant for the dance floor
I know you adore 'cause that's what you came for
The Ice rhymer is back and livin' large
And when I'm at a show you better wear camouflage
'Cause there was plenty who thought I couldn't swing this
But now all I get from the crowd is just a pumped fist
So sing along with the chorus 'cause it's a hit
Or stay at home alone 'cause Ice will be workin' it

Work it, work it, work it, work it, work it, work it, work
it, work it. Work it, Ice, yea! C'mon and work it baby
Work it, work it, work it, work it, work it, work it, work
it, work it. Work it, Ice, yea! C'mon and work it baby

Go white boy, go white boy, go!
Check out the hook. Vanilla Ice, yep, yep

I'm makin' a killin' and chillin' because I'm cool as an ice pack
You're lovin' everything when I think of a new track
I keep my rhyme flowin', notice it's right on time
And separate the wax and keep my mic in line
so put your body in motion and let me know that you're there
And those playin' the wall don't be scared
'Cause it's a foundation of breaks put to a beat
Strong as concrete 'cause I'm rockin' the beat
I'm in rock mode now' cause I'm steppin' like a soldier
Move to the groove and try to hold your composure
Never the less I'm back to attack
I came to manifest, and express to this dope track
Blow off the lid for the kid I get nice
That's why the ladies scraem...Oh! Vanilla Ice!
Forthcomin' I'm risin' to the top
The real definition of funk is put to hip hop
That's what I though, you're cause by the friction
Pens to the pad when I'm shakin' the mixin'
What I like to hear is a drummer get wicked
The tone of a vocal thrown and then kick it
Don't be surprised if your eyeballs swell
I know it's hard to regard 'cause I'm loved by the females
Masses of many, which is plenty, comes to a halt
No one's in the runnin', so I guess that is my fault
So pump up the crowd and give 'em somethin' to step to
My DJ's at his max to enhance what I bring you
The concepts hittin' so follow along like a cookbook
Acknowledge the pros from all the titles I took, yea
The crowd's at ease when I breat through the mic end
As I whip up a dance better move all the mic stands
I go to work on the floor like a wet mop
If you've ever been moved, check it out when I rock

(Repeat chorus)

Throw your hands in the air and let's get hyper
Flip this thing and sting like a viper
Rollin' with the rhythm, I did it for my opponent
If there was a crown to be taken, yea, I would own it
Believe that my rhyme is spoken like it has to be
With slang to stain it's a sheer catastrophe
Sheer to the point, to the point it's like lethal
The dope that I'm sellin' is not even illegal
But, still knowck you out with clout to make you shout
To rock the party people sho 'em what it's all about
Money, yea, is the key to all problems
If you believe that, then you should surely solve 'em
'Cause i got the key, the key to attack
The knowledge from my dome, from the top of my track
To my foes, I can show I can flow 'cause I'm legit
Thinkin' of a new dance, Ice will be workin' it

(Repeat chorus)

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 21 June 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Rotary phone as euphemism = "Call before you come" = lyric to 'Work It' = good reason to post lyrics to this thread DO YOU SEE ETC*

*But I won't.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"Call Before I Come" is also an Outkast song from _Stankonia_.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

God, I hope none of us ever share a bed with Andre 3000.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

he had me at "Spread!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, THIS was the thread. Why am I not surprised.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 June 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

he had me at "Spread!"

Are you secretly Gear's roomie?

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, ask your roomie if Andre's been doing her Roses recently.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

UPDATE: She's still traumatized. I'm still laughing.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

ME: It's not like she asked you to lend a helping hand.
HER: That's true... But still!
ME: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HER: That hurt my ear.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

My ears would definitely hurt if they heard someone jerking off nearby.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the dialogue is like one part Strindberg, one part Pinter, and one part Neil Simon - I tried to make some up myself but I got nothin'. This thread rules.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 21 June 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

UPDATE #2: Spouse is stressed that friend wants to visit us over July 4th.

ME: She won't be sharing a bed with us!
HER: I know, but...
ME: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm done... HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!
HER: This is not helping.
ME: I'm sorry... teeheeheheheeheeHAHAHAHAHA!
OFFICE MATE (to ME): Are you okay?

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 June 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

(Surely people ask Dan if he's okay on a regular basis.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 June 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I've worried recently that Dan will be killed by his own giggling.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 21 June 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Invite one of YOUR masturbahappy college roommates over, share a bed during a sleepy wank, and ask her how SHE likes it, WOMAN!

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 21 June 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

If I was sharing a bed with someone and they did this, I would say, "You know I'm awake, right?" because I am evil.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'd let 'em finish first and then tell them.

Also, Jon Williams to thread...

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

If I was sharing a bed with someone and they did this, I would say, "You know I'm awake, right?" because I am evil.

I was gonna say, I'd totally say something.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course, when the other person says, "Well DUH," then you must apologize for being gauche.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

no, then you go "I'm leaving."

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"but I'm coming!"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"You need a hand with that?"

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jon Williams to thread!"

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Clearly the correct response is to say "Damn, you nasty!" then a quick burst of choreography from Janet Jackson's "Nasty" video.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The trick is doing the choreography while still lying in bed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I promise there's a (many) stories once he comes.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Silly Ned, it isn't effective if you don't use the dancing to move yourself out of the room to the couch. Or better yet, if you dance the wanker out of the room onto the couch (preferably Gear!'s couch, that thing's lost already).

― VengaDay Pern (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"privacy is my middle name, my last name it is control..."

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Silly Ned, it isn't effective if you don't use the dancing to move yourself out of the room to the couch

I have no doubt you can walk/dance with your butt cheeks, sir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I ATE PUSSY IN JEREMY'S WALK IN CLOSET ONCE

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Remember the stories I told you about underage Asian sisters, when we were in high school?

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.aircharternetwork.com/Angel_pics/cat_closet.jpg

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'm somewhat sad that we've had a "Ghostbusters" reference but no one has made Patrick Swayze jokes yet.)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps she was like the wind.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ME: I wish I had someone to snack and yap with.
HER: Aw....
ME: Then again, I don't have a college friend making me uncomfortable at night because she's "lonely".
HER: I HATE YOU. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight again!
ME: Why? It's not like she's there.
HER: I know, but I'm going to have a nightmare that she's coming at me.
ME: (bites hand VERY VERY HARD) She's what???
HER: Coming AFTER me.
ME: I think you should let this go.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

If you're in the doghouse already, you should have just gone for the gold after "coming at me."

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

She's coming home soon. I already have another tempest to weather:

HER: Did you post this to your discussion board???
ME: Kind of.
HER: KIND OF??????????
ME: Well, yes.
HER: I really hate you.
ME: (dying a little death inside) No one on the board knows her!
HER: I know, but people on your board live in New York! What if Ally reads it?
ME: I can almost guarantee that ******* and Ally have never run into each other.
HER: I know... (exasperated sigh)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

you are as busted
as busted can be my friend.
submit quickly. cry.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, let me tell you about two incidents in my life:

Incident 1

I'm sharing a bed with a male friend. I've fallen asleep, but then I wake up because someone is touching me. I've got my back against my friend, and I feel his hand stroking my ass underneath my panties. My still half-asleep brain tries to figure out the situation: "I'm on a bed. He's sharing it with me. There's no one else here besides him. So, logically, that could be only his hand... I must be dreaming! I MUST BE DREAMING!!".

Amazingly, I manage to go back to sleep. In the morning I ask my friend:

"What did you dream of last night?"

"Oh, I think I had a dream about my girlfriend."

"Yeah, it figures."

Incident 2

I'm sharing a bed with a female friend. We're sleeping with our arms around each other, because we're best friends. I'm still awake. Her hand starts to move; it goes underneath my panties and grabs my dick. I'm like, "Whoa, hold on! What the fuck!". She pulls her hand of very quickly. Apparently she was already half-asleep, and thought she was lying next to her boyfriend. It figures.

Such things happen between people, that's all I'm trying to say. Neither incident was particularly traumatic, because we talked about it afterwards and had a good laugh. End of story.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe she was looking for her hotel key and didn't want to disturb your spouse.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

That's taking personal security to a WHOLE new level.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I really shouldn't read these threads in the office. There are big teeth marks in my hand right now.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

This happened to me at a party once. Both her, me and the bloke she was talking to were awake. I happened to be standing behind her, she reaches out and starts stroking various bits. So, I say "Hey I wont tell if you dont". She immediately climbs a tree.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

robster, OTM.

dan perry, i love you.

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas wears panties? Dude.

I also have gnawed hand.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, drawers, or whatever you call them. My vocabulary isn't the best possible when it comes to underwear.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

KNICKERS!

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the Finnish word for men's underpants? In German, they use the English word "Slip", which makes me want to giggle uncontrollably.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Kalsarit.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw man, I wanted it to be long and complicated in that particularly Finnish way.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The only response one can give in this situation is applause.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

During or after?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

.. while chanting "down in one, down in one" ?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas wears panties? Dude.

EXACTLY what i was thinking. this thread had me close to giggles, but that just sent me over the edge.

(sorry tuomas, not making fun of you at all, it's just silliness)

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

And here I thought my stories were amusing in themselves...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

they are! they are shocking and amusing...it's just, i dunno, the word 'panties' is funny enough alone, and when you say that you were wearing them while being groped, it's just so so funny...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Outkast record outtake;
Kelis: "Where are my panties?"
Andre: "I think Tuomas has them"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

recommend the college friend goes to my stealth masturbation thread immediately

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG! I am imagining email friend and saying, "Hey, you might want to contribute to this stealth masturbation thread except for that YOU AREN'T VERY STEALTHY HAHA YOU WANK LIKE LAS VEGAS NEON" and the attendant fallout is... wow.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

It's advice, vegnaday. Advice.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe she just had an itch.

I mean, really, who has to wank SOOOOO bad that they can't even get out of the bed and go to the bathroom? Or just WAIT until they are not in bed with their friend??

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I am going to go forward with the "she was scratching an itch" theory if only because I can arch my eyebrows on the word "itch" and tack a whole bunch of "HEM HEM HEM"s on the end.

I predict that next week will be full of punching.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

If only Sally Jesse Raphael was still around, the three of you could go on her show and she could resolve the situation.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this how you deal with an itch? I assume people rarely get itchy on the bus, then.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

We should go on Ricki Lake (because Ricki Lake needs to have a show called "Hold Up, Girl! I'm In This Bed Too And I Ain't Asleep!").

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I fear the dramatic reenactments.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG Dan, pls stop!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

There is of course the possibility she was excited precisely because your wife was in bed with her.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

...that is, of course, the unthinkable obvious, right?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, yes.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I know a lot of guys who shift their tackle in public so to speak, so I reckon women ought to be able to diddle their nubbins too. And what is it with men sliding their hand into the neck of their shirt and tweaking their nipples/ rubbing their bitch tits? has anyone else been subjected to this view or is it a regional problem?

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely your wife should be flattered - she was either, a) so attractive that college friend could not contain her lust, or b) such a good pal that college friend felt comfortable touching herself up in the same bed. That's really beautiful

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

'diddle their nubbins'?!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Well diddle my nubbin, I'm itchy!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ew, it is NOT really beautiful.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Menelaus, we shift our tackle cos our nuts get squashed or caught in tight fabric pockets, not because we're wanking ~~over Dan's wife~~.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Clitori need adjustment too! Stop oppressing us!

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I suspect that feeling flattered would be an option of my wife felt comfortable with the idea of ANYONE (besides me, hur hur) masturbating over her.

(xpost REALIGN YOU CLITORIS; yet another t-shirt slogan)

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Do they? Who'd have thought it. Clitori be emancipatin'.

(x-post)

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Speak for yourself, Markelby. I shift my tackle to remind me it's there.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

haahahaha

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, jokes aside, here's my take on the thread subject:

Most of us masturbate. Many of us do it quite often. Given these statistics, it's hardly surprising that someone might catch us off guard. However, it's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. In such a situation the best thing would be that both parties acknowledge what has happened and get over it, instead of letting it escalate into something bigger than it actually is.

But I guess this is just my liberal Scandinavian sensibility speaking...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm aware of that, but maybe clitori need the freedom to move as well, might be pinched in the cameltoe formed by a tight pair of acid wash jeans for instance. But how about a little subtlety in the process? and less scratching

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas: That is the most sensible take and how I feel when I'm not going into fits of laughter imagining my wife dancing on her tiptoes on top of the bed while clutching the hem of her nightie and screaming "EEEK! A WANK!"

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

That's fine Tuomas, but don't you think it was a bit much to do it whilst someone else was in the bed, not taking part?!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I bought a friend of mine a book called sex in the swinging seventies, and I read it before I handed it over (thanks catholic op shops btw). I had hoped it would be about septaginarians, but instead it was about the cultural mores of the decade. Believe me it had a lot to say about you carefree sauna taking liberal scandinavians

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes its more funny to make a big deal out of nothing. Seinfeld made an (unfathomable) career out of it.

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

you should start doing this to her, dan (the wanking in bed). feed the complex¡

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

True!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I reckon at this stage Ricki would be creating a safe space for both parties to talk about the issue. Or would that be Dr Phil?

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A safe space would be at least a queen size bed.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe a bunk bed.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet it was just a lucid dirty dream.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you think they still make revolving beds? where can I get one?

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

That's fine Tuomas, but don't you think it was a bit much to do it whilst someone else was in the bed, not taking part?!

I guess she thought Dan's wife was asleep. Sure, it was a bit stupid thing to do, but nothing irredeemable.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it was irredeemable as much as it was hilarious.

― VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm certainly tickled.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

one can't just touch lightly on a subject like this. oh the humanity what a dire pun

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Clearly this woman has a problem. I think Dan's wife needs to gather all of the friends and family together to stage an intervention.

"We're... just here to help"

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

back it up with health journals etc from the 19th early 20th cetury, enfeeblement of the brain and all that?

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"We're... just here to help"
Surely that could be misconstrued?!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

heh

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

BTW, last week, in broad daylight I saw a man wearing a t-shirt with the rather large slogan "MASTURBATION IS NOT A CRIME".

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

What a wanker.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Did he test that theory out? (Anyone w/ a "dry run" joke? Anyone?)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 22 June 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

ten months pass...

I am reviving every thread I can find in the "Abject Stupidity" category that catches my fancy today.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 May 2005 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I was wondering what the dredging up from the depths involved.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, I have just done a revive of my own, which you cannot miss.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going with the theory that she did this in her sleep and didn't even know it, like with Tuomas' story.

I have had one incident in my life.

Incident 1

While sleeping with my then girlfriend, I woke up in the middle of the night. The strange thing is, when I regained consciousness, I realized that I was in the middle of having sex with her. The same thing happened to her. We were both completely asleep when we started and didn't even know it. I guess it was SO GOOD though that we were both rocked to consciousness, or something!

― Mickey (modestmickey), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

You copied that out of Penthouse Forum, didn't you?

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It was like one of those incidents in the night where you wake up to a loud sound or something, fall right back asleep, and then don't remember it in the morning unless someone mentions it. I think her words when we woke up were, "...did we have sex last night?"

― Mickey (modestmickey), Monday, 16 May 2005 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

dan we're still waiting
for the followup on this:
what has happened since?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 16 May 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Friend came to visit and there was no "incriminating evidence", so to speak. I'd forgotten about the entire incident until I was digging through the "Abject Stupidity" category this morning.

― The Ghost of Forgetting To Googleproof: C/D? (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 May 2005 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"We were both completely asleep when we started and didn't even know it"

the whole sex in your sleep thing is really crazy. seems like there could be quite the potential for awkward realizations... imagine the following hypothetical situation:

she moans, "denzel!" and he's howling, "denzel!"

etc. dreams are so weird. i'll never forget when my ex had a dream about sex with one of my roommates. and she would not admit an attraction to him out loud. i thought it was funny. especially when she felt really awkward around him. that was great.
m.

― msp (mspa), Monday, 16 May 2005 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

pregnancy hormones mean sex dreams every night!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 16 May 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

well maybe she was just having a sex dream! just last month i was staying at a friends house for a week, and after like 6 days of no "release" i guess i was kinda horny - and the next morning i woke up and she was cracking up and telling me that i was making loud sex noises in my sleep! so maybe your wife's friend was getting like fucked really really hard but only in her dreams and not by her own fingers!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 17 May 2005 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

phil, i'm gonna ask rach3l to record your loud sex dreams

(btw wtfomglol - you guys are roomies?!)

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 17 May 2005 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

haha! yeah i know! but not for much longer. we're getting evicted june 30th :(

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 17 May 2005 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd wank in front of michael parkinson just to have someone jacking off next to me while I was trying to sleep

― Queen Giveyrjizzum Up now, Tuesday, 17 May 2005 05:04 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

We just saw this friend last week.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 17:50 (eighteen years ago)

"How's everything shakin'?"

― Michael White, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 17:59 (eighteen years ago)

She's coming home soon. I already have another tempest to weather:

-- VengaDay Perrn (Dan Perry), Monday, June 21, 2004 10:53 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

HOW DID I MISS THIS BACK THEN

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:05 (eighteen years ago)

was it justen? you can tell us if it was.

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:06 (eighteen years ago)

This thread has seriously made my day.

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:07 (eighteen years ago)

oh i didn't see that it was a chick. that's less weird.

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:07 (eighteen years ago)

if it was a dude, yeah, appropriate to jump up and scream obscenities at him. But girl orgasms? What is that your business?

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:10 (eighteen years ago)

be more creepy

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:10 (eighteen years ago)

i don't think it's possible

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

no srsly

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

maybe he can find out her address and set up a hidden webcam
x-post

― marmotwolof, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

I mean, strongo is right, is all i mean... a dude whippin it out without your permission is grounds for a beating, probably, but we don't even know if the girl was awake.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT GRIL ORGASMS

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

very awkward ones

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:17 (eighteen years ago)

GIRLGASMS!

― scott seward, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:22 (eighteen years ago)

this thread reminded me of a column written by one of my lesbian coworkers at the college newspaper wherein female masturbation was euphemamismatized as "checking my g-mail"

oh how times have changed

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:23 (eighteen years ago)

okay nevermind I remembered it all wrong. at least as far as the published record goes. I swear I remember large parts of this conversation as it happened (I was busy inking my strip in the newsroom as it went down) (dan could probably have a great time with that sentence)

http://dailybeacon.utk.edu/showarticle.php?articleid=24178

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:32 (eighteen years ago)

"I think you may have fingered the culprit."

― Michael White, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:32 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.coker.edu/campuslife/Res_Life/images/Index/Jessica_Karen_Jodi.jpg

It's okay for friends to have grillgasms in front of each other.

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:33 (eighteen years ago)

somehow I doubt that's what's going on in that picture.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:35 (eighteen years ago)

oh wait.... Iiiiii get it. :(

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:35 (eighteen years ago)

was it justen? you can tell us if it was.

-- strongohulkington, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 6:06 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

There are many ways in which I have wronged Dan with my innappropriate behavior, but this is not one of them.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:49 (eighteen years ago)

Also, I can't spell.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 18:49 (eighteen years ago)

While I would never think you'd cross this line, John, imagining Dan's wife's reaction to you doing so made me roffle hardcore.

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:00 (eighteen years ago)

Sara likes to chuckle at conceptualizing me getting MY ASS BEAT apparently.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:02 (eighteen years ago)

Don't Milko my Wilco

-- El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:27 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

maybe she was possessed?

-- jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:30 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Or having sex with a ghost.

-- El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 21 June 2004 16:31 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

9 months later...

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

...andi was born

― Curt1s Stephens, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

...you wore a dress?

xpost: Curt1s's is funnier.

― John Justen, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:09 (eighteen years ago)

Sara likes to chuckle at conceptualizing me getting MY ASS BEAT apparently.

Only on special occasions.

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:11 (eighteen years ago)

9 months later...

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:07 PM (Wednesday, July 11, 2007 3:07 PM) Bookmark Link

http://ifmagazine.com/graphics/reviews_dvd/moh_pro-life.jpg

― jessie monster, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

Tuomas and Mickey really ran with their respective batons here

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 20:54 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, I'll bet they did.

― marmotwolof, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 20:56 (eighteen years ago)

Kenan, do you seriously think there are girls who are capable of masturbating while sleeping?

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHahaha, how many people spend time talking to their partners about their discussion boards of choice? I feel less alone now.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

do you seriously think there are girls who are capable of masturbating while sleeping?

of course not, but this:

Her: Well, she could have been having convulsions in her sleep... really specific, short-duration convulsions.

leads me to think she may not have been masturbating at all.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:05 (eighteen years ago)

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c370/edzuky/1horrorbeaver.gif

― ghost rider, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

I flail a lot while sleeping and wake up screaming at intermittent occasions.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

you masturbate while screaming? cool. i usually wait until the end.

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

Nono, as everyone learns in their teens, masturbation recipe = quick times quiet.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

I also somnabulate; last week I woke up at like 3 a.m. thinking it was Christmas & when I ran into the living room to go open presents, I was completely baffled there was no Christmas tree.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

omg Jess you have no idea how hard I am laughing right now

Said friend now lives in Atlanta and has become a terrible driver.

― HI DERE, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe she's using te shift gear for something, y'know, different.

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:14 (eighteen years ago)

Abbott is a Problem Sleeper. I relate. I have to be pretty exhausted, but I can do some v weird shit in my sleep. It was worse when I was a kid. Or else it's just as bad now, but I'm alone more often.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

I have to be pretty exhausted, but I can do some v weird shit in my sleep

DO TELL

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

Do you live in Atlanta?

― John Justen, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:18 (eighteen years ago)

We should star in a very boring movie called Problem Sleepers, kenan.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

Kenan's thoughts: We should star in a very ~~boring~~boning movie called Problem Sleepers, kenan.

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:23 (eighteen years ago)

AW SHITFUCK.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

At least he's no deeznuts.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:24 (eighteen years ago)

shitfuck???????

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

I bet Kenan plays with his big red pussy when he's 'asleep'.

― Michael White, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

HUR HUR HUR

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:27 (eighteen years ago)

she's orange, thank you.

At least I'm no what? Stop putting words in my mouth.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

your cat is cuet!

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:29 (eighteen years ago)

Shitfuck, yeah...last night I offered my boyfriend that I could make the two following meals: Shitfuck or Things in Water. Becuase basically all we have is water & shitfuck else.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:29 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, kenan, not to prejudge. I would shake your hand in apology & then try to sell you insurance, because that's what I feel like I'm trying to do when I shake others' hands.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

DO TELL

ok, you're only going to groan and shake your head, but when I was little I was known for taking my clothes off and running around outside and screaming. In my sleep.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

Recently it's more like standing on odd things or yelling nonsense.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

I arranged all my jewelry into sqaure piles by type of jewelry in my sleep a while ago. Not on Ambien, either.

I once punched my boyfriend in the face while sleeping, that's about 1/3 the reason we have separate beds.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:32 (eighteen years ago)

no i'm not groaning! that seems pretty standard weird sleeping stuff.

punching on the other hand=o_0

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:33 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, I once threw a punch, too! I was dreaming that someone threw a rock at my head, and I had to throw down. I woke up having just thrown a thankfully ineffective, glancing punch at my girlfriend.

― kenan, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

I gave him a bllack eye. :(

When I went to visit my family, my youngest brother reminded me of a time he entered my bedroom while sleeping & I apparently punched the shit out of him until he ran away. I don't remember doing that. :(

― Abbott, Wednesday, 11 July 2007 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

this thread ^_^

― HI DERE, Monday, 1 October 2007 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ

― omar little, Monday, 1 October 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

Oh this was the thread were I shared my two "stories".

― Tuomas, Monday, 1 October 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

(ﾟｰﾟ)(｡_｡)

― omar little, Monday, 1 October 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.stepbystepthreesome.com/Women-Interested-small.jpg

― Ned Trifle II, Monday, 1 October 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

Women interested Small?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 09:05 (eighteen years ago)

"How to Find Women Interested in Small Ones"

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 09:07 (eighteen years ago)

ok, "Step by step threesome"

presumably, some sort of guide to entice two slightly unwilling women, to..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 09:08 (eighteen years ago)

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