queen elizabeth II

i guess those were the only two people on the seats outside the castle on Breakfast this morning...

(i did wonder about the security of windsor castle this morning when i saw it - there's nothing but a lawn between the road and the castle. then i realised IT'S A CASTLE, how much more secure do you get?)

in 20 years will she send herself a telegram? that would be odd.

A footman will bring it on a silver platter and she'll say, "Oh, how delightful, one has received a telegram from one"

but stuff the jubilee!
Princess A to Princess Bea
and all their work for charity
Every royal lion' s head
on every boiled and frying egg
And every sodding polo team
in Hello ! bloody magazine

And if you feel this story lacks
the royal seal on candle wax
Reel to reels of scuzzy facts
of dodgy deal and income tax
String me up from Traitor's Gate
stick my head upon a stake
And if you feel this story sucks
that's probably becauae I made it up
I didn' t really hitch a lift
to Windsor Castle bearing gifts
And I can prove it wasn' t me
I was on a stage in Germany
I'vealways loved the Oueenie Mum
her daughters and her daughter' s sons
From Princess A to Princess Bea
And all the Royal Family

What's more, there are loads of CCTV cameras.

you evil genius

maybe when i'm on holiday somewhere.

seriously though how awful and never-ending will the media coverage of queendeath be?!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/history/empire/images/synopsis/23.jpg

Since when has being sane been a qualification for kinging an queening?

do you think the chop has already happened? the neck seems to be a gap yet his head is not fallen

i don't know why his hat is all the way down there though, maybe it caught on a gust of wind?

King has just propelled his head off his shoulders by internal combustion to deny chopper his pleasure.

Hovering hat remains a mystery though.

How come everyone else has got choppers? Did they just pick someone out of the crowd?

I want him to be King.

I think Richard Brandon was from London but there are some who say it was an Irishman from Galway named Gunning who did it.

wasn't he also a leading leveller at the confrontation at putney? if so he wasn't really "in" with the top brass, bein a bit of a rank-and-file radical as regards democracy and stuff

Legend has it he dressed up as a lady when he got home post-restoration to escape the attentions of rampaging royalists, but one of them murdered him anyway, across the fields.

You can see why I'm so keen to believe this. It is proper ITV teatime stuff.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41585000/jpg/_41585100_queen_walkabout300.jpg

Whiter Shade of Pale? wtf? Is The Guardian being funny here?

please don't fly your planes over my house when i'm trying to watch the tv - they are very loud and make it hard to hear. it's not even your real birthday ffs.

kthxbye.
andy

-- M. White (boeldie...), April 21st, 2006.

This makes me so happy.

given an iPod by the Obamas.

She looked tiny beside them, Michelle Obama looked about 7 foot tall

bitchin photo of QEII

http://www.vandaprints.com/lowres/39/main/4/142950.jpg

when she's only 6ft 11¾ xpost

this line from the Queen to Michelle: "Now we've met, will you please keep in touch?" sounded sweetly sincere when I heard it on the radio this morning.

but fuck the monarch etc prob

michelle TOUCHED the queen!!

what's with obama giving heads of state dvds and ipods... seems a bit cheap to be honest

yeah well did u hear what ur queen gave to him??

trackies

A phonograph with wax cylinders of Gilbert & Sullivan?

one's size fits all

QE gave autographed portrait, hope salutation was bitchin'

My mom is 2 years younger than HRM and she can't turn on a CD player.

maybe she should get her arthritis treated?

she is capable but ignorant, and srsly shut yr fuckin mouth.

yeah dr morbius will ko you faster than a chickenshit hillbilly if you dont shut your trap

anyway ipod is a better gift that framed picture

ipod was preloaded with films of the Queen's trip to Virginia last year. and also s1 of battlestar galactica and 60 hours of drone.

On Wednesday, Michelle Obama put her hand on the Queen only after the Queen had placed her own hand on the First Lady's back as part of their conversation... (Less explicable was when President George W. Bush winked at the Queen.)

Seriously, I'm enjoying this "Fuckin' With The Queen" routine my nation's leaders keep pulling.

Throw some tea off a ship, that usually annoys 'em

I hope Michelle Obama didn't contract syphilis.

Queen Elizabeth II - what's on your iPod?

Knew that was coming.

Proabably not even her fingerprints.

what's with obama giving heads of state dvds and ipods... seems a bit cheap to be honest

the dvd thing was a little o_O. but the queen apparently requested the video ipod, because she didn't have one.

but yeah the idea that gently touching her is some huge offense ... we fought a war to get away from that monarchist bullshit, thanks.

"How I would desire an Apple iPod. Perhaps I can ask that young President of the United States to bring me one, wot wot."

Pwned Berusconi

Into the poorhouse. Oh wait.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/jun/29/queen-civil-list-running-out

Palace officials have complained that they lack funds to properly maintain some royal residences. They once claimed that part of the facade of Buckingham Palace was in such bad repair that a chunk fell off, narrowly missing Princess Anne.

two words: REALITY TELEVISION

Name/theme song of the show?

UK Big Brother is currently in progress and suffering poor ratings - kill two birds with one stone and bung the whole family in there.

http://moffatt.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/johnny_rotten1.jpg

Oi Nedley, you need to ask?

I mean, it's not like they haven't been involved in similar japery in the past...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LA2jcaGRsE

surely it can't be THAT hard to monetize being the royal family

I mean even apart from the fact that they're all well-educated and wholly employable

Can you imagine a recruitment being condescending to Prince Charles because he doesn't have up to date IT skills?

I mean, it's not like they haven't been involved in similar japery in the past...

Haha, I remember that. Why didn't Rowan Atkinson go into Blackadder mode...

Can you imagine a recruitment being condescending to Prince Charles because he doesn't have up to date IT skills?

"Prince, you're getting a Dell!"

I would pay Liz W. to train my dog.

I'd employ the Duke of Edinburgh as a supermarket security guard.

He's already got a jacket with a bit of gold braid/piping on it.

Can't deny I derived LOLz from this

Some LOLz but nothing substantial

I like the queen, she rules.

Some LOLz also.

photo here just reeks of "try getting this crown off my head, junior"

On September 9th Queen Elizabeth will break the record held by her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria, and become Britain’s longest-ruling monarch.

http://www.joemygod.com/2015/08/17/queen-elizabeth-set-to-break-longevity-record/

Elizabeth only became queen due to a quirk of history after her uncle Edward VIII abdicated because of his love for American divorcee Wallis Simpson and Nazis

fixed

http://i.imgur.com/0qp8K9o.jpg

she aint goin'

I attend this charity trivia contest every year with a team of eight people. Questions cover everything.

I thought the best one last night was "Name the only president who did not meet face-to-face with the Queen." (During her reign, obviously--Abraham Lincoln wouldn't count.) We missed it.

rip

LBJ (xpost)

xpost So weird, I went to a charity trivia night last night, too, and we also had a QE2 question ... only it was about the boat! Turns out it is currently being used as a floating hotel in Dubai. Who knew? (Not us.)

Synchronicity...Stan has mine right. We guessed Nixon. LBJ made sense when I thought about it afterwards--post-assassination year, campaign, massive legislative drive, then he spends the last couple of years immobilized by Vietnam and unpopularity.

Queen Elizabeth II, the UK’s monarch for the past 70 years, has died aged 96 https://t.co/nuFdc3PV49

— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) September 8, 2022

deid

It's true, the BBC talking about the King and the Queen Consort is weird.

ok the monarchy was fun for a while (was it?) but it's time to pack it in

it's one thing when a doddering old lady is the national mascot but when it's a 70+-year-old bat-eared divorcee, it might be more accurate, but less inspiring

at least she got to watch herself portrayed in a TV show

Louis XIV still the champ!!!

(xp) By Oscar winner Olivia Colman too.

Morrissey heard shouting the words, "Ka-Ching!" and pumping his arms.

I'd rather he'd died than the Queen tbh.

https://www.independent.ie/life/91a93/31398878.ece/AUTOCROP/w620/2015-07-25_lif_11384861_I2.JPG

bless her, she learnt the importance of being strictly politically neutral at an early age.

Oh well QE II virtually same age as my Mother; glad she (Q) made it a couple years longer & still on the job earlier this week, never mind carry on.

xpost yeah seemed to mostly make the best or the okay of being born into weirdass situation.

here comes charlie big ears to clear the room

she just wanted to live long enough to see Boris back on the dole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGau8RBMNG8

I'd rather he'd died than the Queen tbh.

― Buckfast At Tiffany's (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 September 2022 18:50 (fourteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i seriously looked for a "like" button for a moment there

plenty of death to go around every1, let's be patient

RIP big ma’am

lmao love it when this happens

Deadline should make the “publish” button further away, or a brighter color, or maybe 2-factor authenticated, idk pic.twitter.com/jxkgM1Gc80

— 🍂🎃Phil Nobile Jr.🎃🍂 (@PhilNobileJr) September 8, 2022

tktktktk PM, is the saddest of all times really

lol

Two teary women being interviewed on Channel 4 news while their friend is standing there with the biggest grin on her face.

Mad Obits

HM Queen Elizabeth II
1926 - 2022
.
😢 pic.twitter.com/lkvAZrRHNm

— FunPopPhoto (@FunPopPhoto) September 8, 2022

well no Premier League this weekend

The queen died and the Irish are already on it lol https://t.co/kfxvyMt9VK pic.twitter.com/i1nhbv25SI

— ⚓️Imani Two-Kitchens Gandy⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) September 8, 2022

Pretty sure the football will carry on fine xp

is it better to be honest about feelings with meltish acquaintances and come off as a callous monster or hold my tongue and wish I was dead for the next few weeks

Mugabe and Queen Elizabeth in hell pic.twitter.com/oFrnqUuoGP

— Zoé (@ztsamudzi) September 8, 2022

pic.twitter.com/jjL07PjifX

— Hamilton West End (@HamiltonWestEnd) September 8, 2022

Thank you Ma'am, for everything - for women, for family, for our nation. Sleep well. pic.twitter.com/VQJYYo9huU

— annsummers (@AnnSummers) September 8, 2022

What's your favourite incongruous brand mourning of the Queen thus far? Domino's p good pic.twitter.com/iAdxUTAQWA

— Moya Lothian-McLean (@mlothianmclean) September 8, 2022

This is amazing.

We are extremely saddened to hear of the passing of HM Queen Elizabeth II. Our thoughts are with all the Royal Family at this deeply sad time.

Out of respect the Resort will be closed tomorrow. If you're due to visit you will receive an email about your booking. pic.twitter.com/5vJlqUgIXv

— LEGOLAND Windsor (@LEGOLANDWindsor) September 8, 2022

is it better to be honest about feelings with meltish acquaintances and come off as a callous monster or hold my tongue and wish I was dead for the next few weeks

― Left

flame away, I sure am

keep existing black and white logo as is | stick a fucking candle on it
superhero sweating

pic.twitter.com/EhNiafmfSX

— GrieveWatch (@GrieveWatch) September 8, 2022

Lockheed Martin also posted a tribute tweet but that's rather more fitting, I guess.

People used to send actual flowers, now a performative dashed-off tweet will suffice

Worth clicking the link:

I Maybe Be Died, But My LEgacty Will Live On Insode Computetr” (by Queen Elizabeth II) https://t.co/GqP4kw8N3Y

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) September 8, 2022

The "Hamilton" Crew kind of misses the point of Alexander Hamilton

annoying we never actually found out the sizes

xp last night on HistoryTV (CSPAN 2), a Jefferson scholar mentioned that TJ clashed w Ham in part because the former into early (pre-guillotine) French Revoloo, latter big on Brits, as this from American Diplomacy journal site lays out:

Hamilton’s approach to economic and foreign policy was based on his belief and hope that the United States could emerge as a great empire, rivaling, and someday surpassing, the empire of Great Britain. Indeed, Great Britain was his model for shaping U.S. economic policies and institutions. Hamilton greatly admired the British Empire for its unparalleled financial and commercial power and its preeminent global position. As Treasury Secretary he generously borrowed British financial practices and encouraged trade with our former colonial masters and wartime antagonist. As chief foreign policy advisor to President Washington, he counseled cooperation with Britain, focused on the common security interests of Britain and the United States, and advocated the development of strong U.S. naval power.

In 1795, Hamilton described his country as the “embryo of a great empire.”

(Then again, sometimes I wonder if America and the world wouldn't have been better off we'd stayed in the Empire-to-Commonwealth, with no American Civil War and room for our own sep. imperialist adventures? Would not eliminate racism, classism etc,, but maybe not so much freakish homegrowth...would still have to deal with French, Spanish possessions in North America, but might have worked out better than it did, again without too much room and resources for US romping all over)

pic.twitter.com/lBSVAkvnOe

— Poundland (@Poundland) September 8, 2022

Rest in peace Queen Elizabeth II ✨ pic.twitter.com/vpbNI2MyeC

— Poppers Aromas (10K) (@AromasContact) September 8, 2022

It is with great sadness that we acknowledge Her Majesty the Queen's passing. For 70 years, she stewarded us through our darkest and brightest days. Thank you Your Majesty. RIP https://t.co/uxF192OlSR pic.twitter.com/iuHGVw55Jb

— British Kebab Awards (@KebabAwards) September 8, 2022

We're deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Her Majesty The Queen. We send our deepest condolences to The Royal Family.

As a mark of respect our shops are closed this evening and will remain closed tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/Ik86Vp3Lcz

— William Hill (@WilliamHill) September 8, 2022

Our condolences, Rest In Peace Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II 🕊 https://t.co/PF1FGyJ7BC

— Funko (@OriginalFunko) September 8, 2022

Kinda surprised I haven't received any emails from Kamala Harris or John Fetterman trying to fundraise off this

pic.twitter.com/8nYdhQP1S0

— WimpyUK (@WimpyUK) September 8, 2022

An inspiration for more than seven decades, we’re sorry to hear of the passing of Her Majesty The Queen. Thank you, Ma'am. pic.twitter.com/CdavahJXR6

— Greggs (@GreggsOfficial) September 8, 2022

As a mark of respect to her majesty and the royal family on this incredibly sad day, we have taken the decision to abandon tonight’s meeting and cancel tomorrow's Friday meeting. pic.twitter.com/zJJz8BbV5u

— Monmore Green (@Monmoredogs) September 8, 2022

"The Russian president, Vladimir Putin, has sent his condolences to Britain after the “irreparable loss” of Queen Elizabeth II."

Narendra Modi, the prime minister of India, wrote on Twitter: “Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will be remembered as a stalwart of our times.

“She provided inspiring leadership to her nation and people.

“She personified dignity and decency in public life. Pained by her demise. My thoughts are with her family and people of UK in this sad hour.”

Fans in all the right places.

The British Emporium is keeping its door open all night to welcome people who just need to be comforted and talk about their love of ol' Liz (and perhaps by a nice Union Jack throw blanket while you're here).

#IrishTwitter

Tallaght stadium in Dublin tonight pic.twitter.com/FhHtoVGT1L

— Dublin Bhoy (@dublincelticfan) September 8, 2022

How long is the football cancelled for? I thought it was just this weekend but many people are saying it could be at least two weeks?

“A determination regarding the remainder of this weekend's scheduled fixtures will be made following a review of the official mourning guidance, in addition to further consultation with DCMS and other sports on Friday morning," said an EFL statement.

I don't know about the prem but the EFL have had a review of "official mourning guidance". When her dad choked it football fixtures went ahead 2 days later.

they were made of sterner stuff in those days

plus i think people would've legit rioted

tbf i think the moment any of this bullshit personally inconveniences me i'm gonna throw an absolute shitfit

So do American ex-presidents get an invite to the funeral? Can't see why they would but the ultra-traditional 'rules' seem to be made up on the hoof so anything's on at this stage.

RIP sister - no one rocked the hijab like you did pic.twitter.com/BCXd307602

— Waqas Tufail (@_WaqasTufail) September 8, 2022

tbf last time there was a coronation most of the commonwealth had to send a representative at gunpoint or the army burnt down half their villages

how does everyone in this LOOK privately educated https://t.co/zwJccfSm1q

— it's a fuckin emu 🔴 (@adamjamesdavis_) September 8, 2022

Oh my god how is Trump so good at this?!

Nigel Farage inexplicably just had Donald Trump phone in to his GB News show to pay tribute to the late Queen, saying they “had great chemistry” and “spent a lot more time together than people thought.” pic.twitter.com/Jignt4hJWF

— Women for Wes (@Women4Wes) September 8, 2022

An inspiration to all generations, young and old.

Queen Elizabeth 1926 – 2022 ❤️ pic.twitter.com/pWkfBjzHWD

— Peppa Pig Official (@peppapig) September 8, 2022

Iron Maiden are saddened to learn of the passing of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II - a British institution and global inspiration for more than 70 years.

God Bless you Ma’am. pic.twitter.com/caC91hhUO6

— Iron Maiden (@IronMaiden) September 9, 2022

Would like to know what the rest of the NWoBHM think about it

Thunderstick is in heavy mourning

https://bravewords.com/medias-static/images/news/2019/5CEC1996-thunderstick-former-samson-iron-maiden-drummer-reveals-new-live-band-lineup-new-shows-confirmed-image.jpg

guess my theory:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fb91GM2XwAYMo54?format=jpg

I hadn't seen the last screen from Eccleston which he is partially wrong about.

i just know christopher eccleston is having the time of his life rn pic.twitter.com/V8TJcGGkvR

— daisy (@mercurysdyke) September 8, 2022

wrt to their lack of 'real' powers. They definitely have some.

There was a story this morning about a chip shop in Scotland being decimated after the owner had posted a 'celebratory' pic. Twitter was furiously angry against her, and basically got a crowd to go round and smash the shop windows etc.

Seems to have disappeared otherwise I'd have posted it here

Eccleston is screenshotting this article

https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/tv-radio-web/harry-and-meghan-the-union-of-two-great-houses-the-windsors-and-the-celebrities-is-complete-1.4504502

Ah cool.

Paying my respects to Celtic here.

All British Football Clubs turning their logos black and white to honour the passing of Queen Elizabeth.

Celtic Football Club: pic.twitter.com/mwgKc1LfGa

— JAKE BUCKLEY 🇦🇺 (@TheMasterBucks) September 9, 2022

hot damn eccles!

Two 4-0 gubbings in a row and the Queen dying, how much more punishment can the poor old Rangers fans take?

Hold on why is the Last Night of the Proms cancelled? Could have been an orgy of flag fucking the likes of which have never been seen and never will be again.

It's really weird but it has to do with people enjoying some music.

Like football, it must be binned. Work is good though. No days off.

Please be patriotic in a way that doesn't completely fuck the economy, thanks. pic.twitter.com/BtfYxEon0K

— lol (@MediocreDave) September 9, 2022

Strikes off. Carnival off. What a disgrace.

Regretfully, we have made the decision to cancel Hackney Carnival on Sunday to observe this period of national mourning

We’ll be looking at whether it's feasible to hold Carnival later this year, or if we can showcase the artists’ work in another way pic.twitter.com/XeoTgCYAqu

— Hackney Council (@hackneycouncil) September 9, 2022

All for a woman who protected a pedophile.

this is what real cancel culture looks like

the cancellations are absolutely insane and of course will affect those with the least, the most

so a fitting tribute to monarchy then

people should throw street parties all weekend

Lol so true.

Kropotkin on living in England: "better a French prison than this grave". https://t.co/J9ggtGAHCc

— Zoe Baker (@anarchopac) September 8, 2022

Are all these cancellations basically because of the police being redeployed? Surely none of these institutions believe that the public actually would prefer to sit and grieve?

No worries though, the opera's still on.

https://scontent-lhr8-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/305405514_10158290123241511_8825410895387024407_n.jpg?stp=cp1_dst-jpg&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=KtI4Pki2-3gAX-Dx-Ia&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr8-1.xx&oh=00_AT8RBDas5ZgyZzdIoW3jrscO-t6wlAn0ww3OZ-xXwV0qzw&oe=6320D77C

also i think many orgs are genuinely afraid of getting tabloid-monstered for not doing the "right thing" so they immediately move to what seems the safest performative option

i think there's a firehose of ppl not believing in much of this in private but second-guessingly adapting their public behaviour so as not to be caught out

also

i think many orgs are genuinely afraid of getting tabloid-monstered for not doing the "right thing" so they immediately move to what seems the safest performative option

Doesn't even need to be as serious as that, orgs/brands do this for every event regardless. They were doing it for Nick Pope last week

I'll just leave this here. pic.twitter.com/fEgH7h4qdD

— James Wyman (@jaswyman) September 9, 2022

DEEP GLOOM IN LONDON

Places of Amusement All Closed

I like the bit about the dog as well

Wrt unions they are already being monstered by the tabloids but there is a question of declining public support. Though I think it will be harder to maintain as the dispute with the RMT drags on into winter anyway.

Cancelling Hackney Carnival with 24h notice seems a bit shit.

Apparently the rugby and the opera are still going ahead, probably the lacrosse and the grouse hunting too.

Oh yeah no excuse for Hackney carnival. Saw that a few vendors are set to lose money.

if you look at the carnival in terms of optics - and i agree with mark that a lot of these cancellations will be for fear of being monstered - then what it says is that there is a group of people whose feelings must be tiptoed around and other groups of people whose feelings, livelihoods etc simply don't matter

This is for the side chicks out there, keep pushing you can become the queen one day too https://t.co/5Eehoyysnn

— Dan Marino (@Ludo4PF) September 8, 2022

Looks like the queen has taken down Trevor Sinclair how many more lives?

lol my friend whose job it is to compose her employer's official linked-in statements is currently cursing and raving abt this: required to write something genuinely only a step away from "RIP HRH, who for so many years brought such wisdom and grace to the dildo market"

it was such an innocuous and completely fair and uncontroversial comment to make, well if this was a normal country.

there is no way she would have approved of all the UK horseracing getting cancelled for days. But at least the Ballinrobe and Leopardstown tracks in RoI are doing business as usual :p People have had enough entertainment/sport deprivation during the lockdowns, it's just not the time to be cancelling stuff ffs.

xp
coals to newcastle

Camilla giving off strong I'm-collaborating-with-the-Visitors-they-only-want-to-save-their-planet vibes there.

I wonder if some of the cancellations are to do with the fact that Queenie's coffin is due to process by train down to London, thus buggering up people's chances of getting to whatever events they might've been trying to get to?

Liz Truss killed her you dick

People pouring their own liquified brains out of open windows. Whole streets and towns coated with a sheen of brain. pic.twitter.com/XmIlyyjttE

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 9, 2022

more evidence for my "they rasputined her" theory

"they somehow know when it's time": yes you chase them round the palace poisoning them and shooting them full of holes

You missed the part about dumping them in the Thames in a sack.

unlike rasputin they buried her alive, it's a king arthur thing

C.S. Lewis Square will be open from 3.30pm today for reflection and the laying of floral tributes on the passing of HM.

Flowers can be laid below the statue of Aslan in the square. pic.twitter.com/zCcxfjm3Gl

— Cllr Anthony Flynn (@AntoFlynnser) September 9, 2022

7 Decades, 15 Prime Ministers. 1 Queen.

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Thank you 💕💕#queenelizabeth pic.twitter.com/EOhlMDbWbi

— Morleys UK (@MorleysChicken) September 9, 2022

well it is a book about the vanquishing of a despotic queen who ruled over a land of eternal winter xpost

Sounds about right.

Then again, no more weather.

We are saddened by the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Our thoughts are with her family and all those affected by this news.

As a mark of respect during this time of national mourning we will only be posting daily forecasts and warnings.

— Met Office (@metoffice) September 9, 2022

grrr! the BBC better have suspended the shipping forecast as well

I wonder if some of the cancellations are to do with the fact that Queenie's coffin is due to process by train down to London, thus buggering up people's chances of getting to whatever events they might've been trying to get to?

― trishyb, Friday, September 9, 2022 2:05 PM (thirty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Seems they're flying her down now, possibly because they don't want royalist buffoons coating the tracks with dead flowers which will take days to clean up.

"William, 40, has now become the Duke of Cornwall and is likely to become Prince of Wales. It was reported early in 2022 that William, who is a patron of homelessness charities Centrepoint and the Passage, is interested in using parts of the Duchy’s huge landed estates to house the homeless."

Sure, sure..

Apparently there's some kind lying in state thing planned for Edinburgh - or sumthin' - so there's a lot of police about and a friend of mine overheard someone in the Royal Mile commenting on it, "It's no' as if anyone's gonnae kill her - she's deid".

police deployed to stop her escaping

lol

I read someone posting about the history of corpse-jacking once, but this wasn't about the corpses of monarchs getting kidnapped - it was about attempts to steal the corpses of saints whilst they are in transit.

Eva Peron got corpse-napped

Apparently there's some kind lying in state thing planned for Edinburgh

Now I'm resident in Edinburgh I'm thinking of popping up to report back to youse all, maybe around 4am since it seems to be 24 (23?) hours and there might be less of a queue at that time. Probably not.

eva peron got corpsenapped by matt #2, stay alert ppl!

pic.twitter.com/UZyV8LkEfN

— Stevie Nicks (@StevieNicks) September 8, 2022

Oh my god, that

It's not as good as Poundland's tribute, sorry.

Apparently there's some kind lying in state thing planned for Edinburgh

Edinburgh hotel prices this weekend have gone ballistic.

Uju's tweet is a work of art, twitter deleted it!

POV: you’re 19, going into 6-figure debt at Carnegie Mellon, getting lectured by this professor on “Blackness in multilingualism.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t rejoice when a 96yo woman dies?” you say. Uju frowns, gives you an F. You register to vote & cast a ballot for @DrOz this Nov. pic.twitter.com/jNchvkyWIq

— Blake Masters (@bgmasters) September 8, 2022

From all at johnlydon dot com

Rest in Peace Queen Elizabeth II.

Send her victorious.

From all at https://t.co/vK2Du0ZzDS pic.twitter.com/kq4M6WfeML

— John Lydon Official (@lydonofficial) September 9, 2022

“Pray for both families” lol https://t.co/PWx7uyqXmH

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 9, 2022

where you at, kirstie alley?

A solemn Tony Cascarino is broadcasting on Talksport. Who better to cover this historic event.

Cascarino said: "I had a Chinese delivered just moments after the announcement. It felt wrong and very disrespectful to eat it, so as a mark of respect I threw it in the bin."

— Sean (@shornKOOMINS) September 9, 2022

that fizzles feeling

it's what she wd have wanted

Crypto reacts to Queen Elizabeth's death

September 8, 2022https://t.co/iHdKV3m4HV pic.twitter.com/JNjVONXVIr

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) September 9, 2022

‘1 minute rest in silence’ i am finished pic.twitter.com/eNPI5CHyml

— michael ✨ (@mjrgrs) September 9, 2022

The stoppages in Edinburgh do seem pretty aligned to getting her on the train - but "Further closures will be installed"

These are the main road closures in place today for events to mark the death of Her Majesty the Queen.

Further closures will be installed over the coming days, we will provide updates in due course.#edintravel pic.twitter.com/kuhG5cMCIm

— Edinburgh Travel News (@edintravel) September 9, 2022

It's a good thing she held out to the end of the Festival.

I just had a headline pop up on my phone asking what will happen to her four dogs.

I don't agree with everything he did, but Mao is someone I've learned a lot from. My thoughts are with his family today. https://t.co/2mAsfuxNgc

— Don Hughes (@getfiscal) September 9, 2022

getfiscal

A lot going on here in Tucker Carlson’s paean for the “humane” British Empire, but one through line with the rest of his thinking is that self-rule is more or less unimportant. pic.twitter.com/TeSqSJ0Ccm

— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) September 9, 2022

xp Disrespectful with Olivia Newton-John barely in the ground.

lmao was hoping someone leapt on that

Rest in Peace 🖤 Queen Elizabeth II 1926-2022 pic.twitter.com/eou217S8SZ

— PLAYMOBIL (@playmobil) September 8, 2022

Isn't that Tucker Carlson quote more than somewhat anti-American?

idk american anti-britishness always seems kind of perfunctory to me like this half-hearted historical reenactment that only bubbles up occasionally for entertainment or opportunism

I assume carlson defends the confederacy too and would happily trade the US for an even more violent explicitly racist white ethnostate

Mention of Rhodesia a dog bullhorn for white supremacists

I haven't seen much in the way of U.S. anti-Britishness since the end of "the troubles" in Northern Ireland.

lol there's a ton of routine american internet anti-britishness, sections of this very website used to crackle with it

I guess? Maybe I just don't frequent those parts of the internet where it is prevalent. At any rate, I do remember it being much more pronounced when Ireland served as a focal point.

Americans criticising the UK is only annoying when the criticism isn't accurate. We demand absolutely devastating criticism of this terrible country.

pic.twitter.com/mAO7XqfqZK

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) September 8, 2022

Always seemed to me that Americans are far more obsessed with UK royalty than the Brits, our former colonial masters

Meghan Markle is the sun around which our entire universe circles

american anti-britishness has no bite to it was the point, neither does british anti-americanism while we're at it, it's all very tame and safe

When Family Guy or w/e have an episode in the UK it's all "you guys are all plummy and effeminate and use funny words and have bad teeth and food!!!" and yeah, it would be just fantastic if those were the normal criticisms you could make about this cursed place.

https://ibb.co/zZNLxjc

https://i.ibb.co/M79jSWT/queen.jpg

great ilx threads often start w terrible essays by british people talking about rap

― deej, Sunday, April 29, 2007 1:50 PM (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Don't wanna NEWSIE any WEWSIES here but

pic.twitter.com/ZMrU2h3A1N

— tyron (@thetyronwilson) September 9, 2022

I’m not kidding when I say that the Queen’s face is on every. single. electronic billboard in London right now but there’s something that *really* puts the cherry on top of this one. pic.twitter.com/5mA6Ok6xlr

— Red (He/They). (@mr_redbot) September 9, 2022

Cannot wait for our destruction.

Sorry, I need to immortalise Wayne Lineker's tribute to the Queen because I will never not want to see it. pic.twitter.com/r8KOeSNQtJ

— Childish Gabibbo (@ichlugebullets) September 9, 2022

always good to see how dom p's getting on i guess :|

^wronguns on wronguns on wronguns ibhibidtae

It's like The French want it back too.

why is it tweeting like it’s sentient https://t.co/z811TMe7SU

— cathy (@catherinebouris) September 9, 2022

That’s pretty much an open secret.

Yes I can tell from your posts.

Another good example is Macron’s letter gushing letter for the Queen published today.

Aquitaine is and forever shall be English

Dordogne is already full of North London tourists.

"Queen Elizabeth tributes signed onto rockets by Ukrainian Soldiers, before launching them at Putin's troops." (reddit link)

you can't make this stuff up pic.twitter.com/X07dNEKqdQ

— atrophy wife 🎀 (@zuza_real) September 9, 2022

EXCLUSIVE: Royal beekeeper has informed the Queen's bees that the Queen has died https://t.co/uS5fCVH0Uz

— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) September 10, 2022

that's sick, you're really gonna shit a hive of bees up telling them the queen's dead

nah she's right here mate, laying some more eggs, been out all morning collecting nectar for her

https://i.imgur.com/cKMEIOZ.jpg

Bee Google trends, top search: is it ok to wear stripes to a funeral?

the bees thing is nice, i think it's thoughtful to keep them informed

I've read longer sentences

WATCH: The Clerk of the Accession Council read the world’s longest sentence at the end of which (you’ll have to wait) he declares Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, King Charles III.
And in the Picture Gallery, Privy Counsellors chant “God Save The King). pic.twitter.com/j8UIdZ5Afw

— Chris Ship (@chrisshipitv) September 10, 2022

clerk of the accession council looking boris coldly in the eye and reading out every page of ducks, newburyport

I don't want this to end.

@AccidentalP use the Queen as a breakwater pic.twitter.com/6faZkACiLN

— Gary Ford (@Dirty_130) September 10, 2022

Travelling on the London Underground has been rather surreal today. pic.twitter.com/K19hFXCuSW

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 9, 2022

meanwhile back in the correct world:

My son, Perceval, since learning of Her Majesty's death has been locked away in his art studio taking his grief out on the canvas. What he has painted is, quite frankly, one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. He has called it "HM and Harambe, best of friends" pic.twitter.com/U7C1LPsk0R

— Professor Kelvin Knox (@2012Studies) September 10, 2022

pic.twitter.com/fYHcxLJsW9

— David Bowie Official (@DavidBowieReal) September 10, 2022

loool

So many lolz

Well, that was unexpected.

[sound up]#AccessionCouncil #KingCharlesIII pic.twitter.com/epHMgh6Ijf

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 10, 2022

lol v good

checking in on the college of arms i see that the post of rouge croix pursuivant is currently vacant, i think we shd appoint comrade alph and realise his monarchist dreams

Signalling at an aide through clenched teeth to move something out of his way pic.twitter.com/SSe8j8VeUz

— Emma Devlin (@theactualemma) September 10, 2022

it's a miracle that these sub-human lizard people actually live so long and don't get murdered by their staff

suspect that elderly tantrum-boy here is gnna turn out to be very bad at a lot of similar things the recently departed was in fact better at

stoked for it tbh lol, he is a very disappointed man and that's not going to change

just read that rumour that his staff have keep boiling eggs and throwing them out when he goes for a walk. If there isn't a perfect boiled one ready on demand when he get's back he throws a strop.

forget when or where i read this, years and years ago, but he's an absolute testy stickler for being called YOUR HIGHNESS, which is a word whose insecure silliness just screams at you as soon as you break it down

I read ages ago that someone else brushes his teeth for him, and I always thought that couldn't be true, but looking at him today I could believe it.

I’ve read somewhere that he has a servant to hold his peen while he pees!

I’ve read somewhere that he has a servant to hold his peen while he pees!

also comrade alph iirc

😭😭😭

on my morning walk noticed one lone house in the neighborhood flying the union jack and loled grimly to myself

spare a thought for that saddo pom

was it half mast tho

I’m not gonna sit here and apologize for most any of this nonsense but I’d like to say a simple “actually that’s kind of sweet” offering to the Twitter thing upthread about the bees, which is an ancient and basically mythological English tradition https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telling_the_bees

nope, full mast… hmm… maybe they were celebrating? tip o the hat if so

ok telling the bees is hilarious i love it

it's a pan-european tradition!!

and for maximum chaos: "Bees could also be invited to the funeral.[5][6]"

it’s downright dotty

meanwhile the bees are like WE DONT CARE WE’RE BLOODY BEES

they like to feel informed

what a time to get killfiled :(

meanwhile the bees are like WE DONT CARE WE’RE BLOODY BEES

Nah, that's too waspish for bees.

Patter not chronic enough

🤨

I was taking a dump during the announcement. It felt wrong and disrespectful to continue it, so as a mark of respect, I stopped. I will resume after my ten days of mourning.

thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

out of respect

Johnny Cash meets the Queen in his dreams, writes "The Man Comes Around" afterward pic.twitter.com/sJrwyMfPzP

— Bowiesongs (@bowiesongs) September 8, 2022

Limmy's favourite memory of our Queen pic.twitter.com/sNoKmbHzCT

— LimmyTwitchClipsPlus (@LTCPLUS) September 10, 2022

one of our managers came into the shop today and told me to remove Tom Bowers book 'Revenge'( his Harry + Meghan vs the rest of the monarchy biography) from display because it was disrespectful at the current time and was likely to cause offence!! surprised I wasn't instructed to burn it tbh. bit of a cheek considering we currently display Rushdie's ' The Satanic Verses' on the same shop floor which I would guess offends far more people( ie more than zero)than some hack biography. still guess it offends people who aren't as important. lol cancel culture actually exists for once.

of course 30 mins later some women came in and asked if we had it, so I sold her a copy.

Nice.

Astonishing figure @BBCNews just cited - that a third of the UK might have met the Queen, given all her efforts to meet the public

— Bronwen Maddox (@bronwenmaddox) September 10, 2022

And every person she met started a band.

lmao

meeting the queen should be a euphemism for jerking off or taking a dump or something for if it’s not already

Meet the queen
Feed the tree

I've a good friend who is a hardcore oldschool punk, very left wing, who declared on twitter they'd be following the 10 day mourning period seriously. I have to say I was really surprised. I dont think theyre a monarchist, just feeling very English? (hving been born in the UK).

I'm apathetically anti-monarchist as any decent Australian should be imnsho, but I decided not to have Opinions online bcs my mother will prob be offended. She's of that era who crammed the streets to glimpse at queenie waving as she went by and all that crap.

Other than being a monarch, protecting the monarchy, and thus perpetuating the monarchy and all its pathologies, I'm not aware of any particularly egregious sins that can be laid directly at her feet. Sure, had she chosen she could have been a forceful advocate for the well being of her subjects, but she chose instead to be a harmless figurehead feigning a kind of maternal benevolence. I'm not sure that merits hatred of her, so much as mild mockery or complete indifference.

She paid 12 million pounds to make credible allegations of her son's sexual assault of a minor go away.
She never apologised for atrocities committed in her name in colonial Africa (from where the Crown Jewels were stolen, incidently).
She interfered in the legislative process several times to get laws changed to favour her or her estates.

I agree the first of the actions you cited absolutely merits anyone's loathing, contempt and anger. It's enough to cite it alone.

But as for the second and third? They are common as dirt among the wealthy and powerful. Hell, most of them never apologize for crimes they personally committed or directly authorized, let alone those committed "in their name".

So we should give her a pass? Fuck that. Fuck anyone who does it.

Yes. We should not give her a pass. Great idea. I am now revoking her pass even as I write this.

It's possible for world leaders to apologise for the wrongs done by their state. Chirac apologised for France's role in the rounding up of Jews in the Second World War. The Australian PM apologised to Aboriginal people who had been forcibly removed from their families. But nary a peep out of Queen Liz about the atrocities of the Mau Mau uprising, about slavery, about anything.

never buying a motherboard from amazon uk ever again what is this shit pic.twitter.com/zeiNP9rxTK

— stickfab (@stckfb) September 10, 2022

NEW: Antigua & Barbuda PM, Gaston Browne, has said following the Queen’s death he will call for a referendum on the country becoming a republic within three years.https://t.co/gzb7k9jK1c pic.twitter.com/MPrb71LPgV

— Nads White (@Nadine_Writes) September 11, 2022

Love this, please never stop.

BBC News just read out a card from a 12 year old to the dead queen saying "I find the fact that you were working in your final days so great." 🫠

— lol (@MediocreDave) September 12, 2022

Other than being a monarch, protecting the monarchy, and thus perpetuating the monarchy and all its pathologies, I'm not aware of any particularly egregious sins that can be laid directly at her feet. Sure, had she chosen she could have been a forceful advocate for the well being of her subjects, but she chose instead to be a harmless figurehead feigning a kind of maternal benevolence. I'm not sure that merits hatred of her, so much as mild mockery or complete indifference.

First sentence is enough, the rest is garbage. In fact three words are enough, "being a monarch". I don't hate her and didn't hate her personally - after all, she's not Thatcher - but she was a monarch, so she's worse than Thatcher

Painful to watch Aimless use his brain.

Harmless little old lady, protecting her paedophile son.

lovely sweet old lady

https://i.postimg.cc/MKkvc0fZ/Screenshot-20220912-094458.jpg

she wasn't a human being they kept telling me she was a figurehead i think we should guillotine figureheads

It's possible for world leaders to apologise for the wrongs done by their state. Chirac apologised for France's role in the rounding up of Jews in the Second World War. The Australian PM apologised to Aboriginal people who had been forcibly removed from their families. But nary a peep out of Queen Liz about the atrocities of the Mau Mau uprising, about slavery, about anything.

― Zelda Zonk, Monday, 12 September 2022 bookmarkflaglink

All well and good though the best thing Charles could do is machine gun his family, like that Prince in Nepal

I’m not making the case for her being some great and unique evil but saying that the monarchy is and was powerless is a lie used to perpetuate its existence.

Benign

Police have been barred from searching the Queen’s private estates for stolen or looted artefacts after ministers granted her a personal exemption from a law that protects the world’s cultural property, the Guardian can reveal.

Buckingham Palace and the government are refusing to say why it was deemed necessary in 2017 to give the Queen an exemption that prevents police from searching Balmoral and Sandringham.

A spokesperson for the Queen dismissed any suggestion that stolen or looted artefacts were being held on the monarch’s private estates.

His £1bn Duchy of Cornwall estate was later given special exemptions in the acts that denied residents the legal right to buy their own homes outright.

Under the opaque procedure, the Queen and Prince of Wales were allowed to vet the contents of the bills by government ministers and approve them before they were passed by parliament.

The exemptions have left residents living in homes that have diminishing or no financial value. The residents say they cannot borrow against their homes to pay, for example, for social care fees for themselves and loved ones.

Jane Giddins, who lives in one of the prince’s houses in a Somerset village, said a “feudal and anachronistic” system had unfairly favoured Charles, to her family’s detriment. “When we die, our kids will be left with a property that is very difficult to sell,” she said.

The exemptions enable the prince to preserve the financial value of his estate and brings in income as the tenants have to pay rent to him each year. The residents say they have been unable to find out why and how the heir to the throne was able to secure preferential treatment from the government.

The prince declined to comment when asked whether he or his family had lobbied the government for the exemptions in the three acts.

However, the Guardian has established that Prince Charles and his mother were allowed to approve the contents of the three acts under an arcane parliamentary process known as Queen’s consent.

The Queen successfully lobbied the government to change a draft law in order to conceal her “embarrassing” private wealth from the public, according to documents discovered by the Guardian.

A series of government memos unearthed in the National Archives reveal that Elizabeth Windsor’s private lawyer put pressure on ministers to alter proposed legislation to prevent her shareholdings from being disclosed to the public.

Following the Queen’s intervention, the government inserted a clause into the law granting itself the power to exempt companies used by “heads of state” from new transparency measures.

The arrangement, which was concocted in the 1970s, was used in effect to create a state-backed shell corporation which is understood to have placed a veil of secrecy over the Queen’s private shareholdings and investments until at least 2011.

The true scale of her wealth has never been disclosed, though it has been estimated to run into the hundreds of millions of pounds.

How others are getting treated for regulation criticism.

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/uju-anya-s-tweet-shouldn-t-have-been-condemned-carnegie-n1298818

lol at Bezos pearl-clutching at that - another busy day for Jeff. But then of course she's a union ally.

fwiw sheltering failsons from the consequences of their crimes sexual and otherwise is also "common as dirt amongst the wealthy and powerful", if we're gonna be consistent about this.

I also don't care about the wealthy and powerful maintaining their position.

hang on WHAT?? pic.twitter.com/GX2QmBxzYE

— Russell Warfield (@russellwarfield) September 11, 2022

How others are getting treated for regulation criticism.

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/uju-anya-s-tweet-shouldn-t-have-been-condemned-carnegie-n1298818🕸

Utterly draconian - two people were arrested on the weekend under the Police, Crime, Sentencing & Courts Act 2022 for expressing their opposition to the monarchy.

When this law was still a bill, many raised concerns that it would be used to silence free speech. They were right. pic.twitter.com/sm7EPnnSkF

— Fatima Said (@fatimazsaid) September 12, 2022

Red Nation Native American roundtable talking about the monarchy/commonwealth etc in a negative light and what has been done in its name over teh years. So why seeing so many people seeing this negative figurehead as someone to mourn so heavily is depressing
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5VqWZZn5ymYNgYYR9NLYx1?si=5c9dcaec6a184e38

I really want to check that out - thanks

This is sick. She's already dead https://t.co/y7JIRbsCuV

— ben flores redemption arc (@limitlessjest) September 11, 2022

maybe this time she'll stay dead

worms get in quicker if they have nice bullet holes to crawl through.

Proof positive lizard queen is still alive, our daughter just got a letter from her! She's 6, the school was all over the jubilee and she wanted to send a card to the queen, we weren't going to dissuade her; a thank you card with her maj's dead face on it arrived this morning.

not her dead face surely?

clearly some type of lament configuration deal going on here, don't fall for it

Did the letter read: "Help me! I am being eternally devoured by rabid corgis!"

https://i.imgur.com/Efzv2OD.gif

It read "Help me! I am in search of a new body to resurrect in to"...

awkward

🙄

On #BBCBreakfast Sally reveals the Royal Parks are asking that people don't leave any more Paddington Bears or marmalade sandwicheshttps://t.co/LnaLUb84yw pic.twitter.com/peTh8Osaul

— BBC Breakfast (@BBCBreakfast) September 12, 2022

Hounslow pic.twitter.com/tnHmUGakHE

— Nev Wilson (@NevWilson) September 12, 2022

sharpen the contradictions: ever more marmalade in the parks, the only king i recognise is king rat

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1f/Rat_King_Illustration.svg/1200px-Rat_King_Illustration.svg.png

Sharpening the contradictions

I'm struggling to believe the intro I have just written to a story but it's true..

"Morrisons supermarket has turned off the beeps at its checkouts in a mark of respect to the Queen."

🤯

— Andrew Ellson (@andrewellson) September 12, 2022

I can't remember who was telling me that this has resulted in massive queues in the self-scan sections as nobody can tell what they have and haven't scanned, RIP

some

good queueing practice, for those that fancied getting a sight of the mouldering corpse, lying in a state

Football is going ahead this weekend as a mark of respect for her majesty the queen!

When I die, please don't bring a 'Great Job!' balloon to my wake pic.twitter.com/1y2tHAjXG7

— Aisling Marron (@aislingmarron) September 11, 2022

Ok

perhaps the most unprovoked self snitching i've ever seen on here pic.twitter.com/4AHgChYjUX

— pez says up the workers (@periuspb) September 13, 2022

oh god help me i can't stop hearing "am I paedo too?" to the tune of "Dreamer"

He was not found guilty but charged with having sex with a seventeen-year-old, god I'm guilty of that, am I a pedo?… https://t.co/oO6xi7d1Rh

— John Healey (@JohnColonelputt) September 12, 2022

If that isn’t a textbook example of fucking around and finding out…

did QAnon post at all since she died? I'm not saying she was trolling the colonies but what if the Q stood for Queen and it was her all along? :D

A lot of Q accounts now tweet only in Russian

has the worldwide drug trade stopped yet? or will it take a week or so?

a: she died ("died") on lyndon larouche's birthday 🤔
b: both died ("died") at the age of 96 🧐

@Leanne61639007 Hello Leanne, if you are staying with us for 7 nights starting Friday you are welcome to leave your belongings in your lodge and access your accommodation again from 10:00am Tuesday.
Thanks, Demi

— Center Parcs UK (@CenterParcsUK) September 13, 2022

even the foodbanks are closing, some wag posted "let them eat wake"

Rocking up to the queen’s funeral with a large nachos and mixed tango ice blast https://t.co/IkMobNsvBb

— hannah strong (@thethirdhan) September 13, 2022

Fin du cinema

In celebration of The Queen's life, the BBC has said that it will air Paddington and Paddington 2.

The first film will air on BBC One this Saturday and the second on Monday, the day of The Queen's funeral.

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 13, 2022

Weird times and all but this connection between Paddington and The Queen is so so bizarre..

"@Mark_Cassell: Hahaha!
"@HannahKincade: I love Paddington bear, but the new cgi Paddington is some scary ass shit. pic.twitter.com/jqX8BpW5RJ""

— The Dead Can Write (@TheDeadCanWrite) September 28, 2014

i'm thinking somebody reasonably smart noticed at some point that the Paddington movies played very well with cupcake fascists - nb this isn't strictly the movies's fault - and figured it was a good brand to associate the monarchy with

also something something 2012 Olympics i'm sure

I guess.

Meanwhile..

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/13/king-charles-staff-given-redundancy-notice-during-church-service-for-queen

They were just a starter staff

thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

Paddington not even a British subject ffs

Paddington being a royalist has been canon since this 1986 book

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ADlI0llkL._SX486_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

'Rolling Stone' reports that Kanye West has decided to settle all outstanding beefs following the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

wife's breast cancer appointment cancelled Monday, which means all breast cancer appointments are cancelled on Monday. She has a new one in a month. I'm sure she'll be fine, but that's a wait that will almost certainly cost lives. This is an obscenity, in the name of the monarchy

— matt (@matted1) September 13, 2022

@GrieveWatch Vue cinemas will be open on Monday for the funeral. Only the funeral. Vueneral, if you will. pic.twitter.com/Aq4Z828Zfg

— mr blobby fan account (@duckpyjamas) September 13, 2022

5 fucking hours? Nolan has gone too far this time

are they covering the wake and all?

IM:HMQE 1 was good, but kind of dated

I assume a lot of this is due to the bank holiday being "well your employer may or may not force you to work it BUT all the schools will be closed" - not the Vueneral though.

odds on Brian May playing on the roof of the Abbey?

An interview with the Nigerian-American prof on her story.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/14/uju-anya-queen-nigeria-colonialism-empire?

I hope we don't have to wait so long for Bezos to die.

I like the way she has handled this, totally unapologetic and no whining self-pity about getting dragged and locked out of twitter.

Imagine the convos you will get

Government warns of 30-hour queues to see Queen's coffin https://t.co/VH6rUQQVcy

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) September 14, 2022

UK to population: "pssst, wanna see a dead body?"

Well it'll take a bunch of twats out of circulation for 30 hours, so all good.

Hearing someone describing BBC News coverage as Mourn Hub has made my day.

— chrisbates (@christhemarxist) September 14, 2022

Wouldn't it be easier to drive the coffin around for a few days so everyone can see it? Take it to Barking and Edmonton or wherever too, let all her loyal subjects join in. In fact they could spend the next couple of months trundling it around the country as the cadaver decays and starts to seep out the cracks, while the Beeb continue their wall-to-wall coverage as a distraction from imminent mass starvation.

YouMourn

trundling it around the country ... imminent mass starvation

Might be the opportunity for a two-birds-one-stone solution here...thinking...thinking...

I literally can’t believe this isn’t satire pic.twitter.com/Uv4uYKiwB8

— Aíne (@ainemagu) September 14, 2022

I wont a ham burger mate!!! Oi! This is wank!

— wint (@dril) September 14, 2022

Out of respect for the Royal Family all Life Support machines in the Ilford South Hospital have been turned off

— Jimothy Baker (@JimothyBaker) September 14, 2022

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62900500

Will log on.

How do you pay virtual respects, walk past your laptop or something?

Send a Superchat

It will be available on the BBC home page, the BBC News website and app, the iPlayer, BBC Parliament and Red Button.

“the iPlayer” jesus fuckin wept

The Queen is bigger than Jesus.

trigger warning: it's a corpse!

It's hard to manufacture the sacred these days, and the more they try to pump up theawe the more ridiculous it becomes.

Wait, so day 6-9 is an open coffin, this says? I somehow doubt that

https://observer.com/2022/09/the-queen-is-dead-heres-what-happens-next/

Petition to get Demi, who was in charge of the Center Parcs Twitter feed this afternoon, a knighthood. https://t.co/cGVM2P7URX

— John Bull (@garius) September 13, 2022

Xp why, it’s not like she died in a messy car crash

https://www.thelist.com/1006153/why-queen-elizabeths-funeral-doesnt-have-an-open-casket/

+ lead lined so she doesn't escape

she isn't in there at all

still ranging round the palace being rasputined

THE QUEEN ISNT EVEN OPEN CASKET??? literally what are people queuing for if you can’t critique the embalmer’s work

— natalie (@scaredofcustard) September 14, 2022

Celtic are playing again

Banner unfurled in the Celtic end 10 minutes before kick off: “F*** the crown.”

As the Champions League anthem plays, it’s followed by: “Sorry for your loss Michael Fagan.” pic.twitter.com/AxRNO3YWME

— Archie Rhind-Tutt (@archiert1) September 14, 2022

Rangers v. Napoli later could be interesting too.

badly written article delivers distressing news:
https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/queen-elizabeth-not-related-prophet-muhammad

they don't even follow up on the fact that the story was invented by sir iain moncrieff of that ilk (who i am always pleased yo hear about as he wrote a guide to heraldry that i greatly liked as a small boy (it had funny pictures)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w_TFO3G1OQI/UIxoydZyJFI/AAAAAAAAB2k/1l09M3kGjoQ/s640/IMG_0004.jpg

Is this what heaven looks like?

Class. @RangersFC 🙏🏼 pic.twitter.com/yHSRIecfAb

— Don Hutchison (@donhutch4) September 14, 2022

Are the pubs shut on Monday?

The country is shut on Monday.

The ones that will be open will be blaring this shit

Pray for me, who has a long train journey to make on Monday and no real knowledge of whether it will be possible.

Praying for all of us

This is cold, not fair at all.

Bashar Al-Assad, Nicolas Maduro and the Taliban are snubbed from Queen's funeral guest list https://t.co/aP6t6Qg06G

— Daily Mail U.K. (@DailyMailUK) September 14, 2022

Venezuelan tyrant Nicolas Maduro will not be invited to the attend the historic passing of the Second Elizabethan Age

One must be the correct class of tyrant

Trump getting his black suit cleaned

What a bunch of cunts

BREAKING: Despite UEFA declining a request, the national anthem will be sung in honour of the Queen before Rangers' Champions League game against Napoli tonight. pic.twitter.com/se7l0EjqCT

— Sky Sports News (@SkySportsNews) September 14, 2022

Unhappy with the pace of the queue. I've counted 1,789 people for the last hour. So on that number only 235489 people will get to pay there respects. #TheQueue needs to deliver for the people. Gutted if u queued for 2 days and found out your number 235490. God Save The Queue! pic.twitter.com/op8WJa6yad

— Richard Wood (@woodyis) September 14, 2022

If you’re British, this is the queue you’ve been training for all your life. The final boss of queues. pic.twitter.com/5auXopBfOr

— Jof (@JofArnold) September 13, 2022

Celtic 4 Rangers 0
Ajax 4 Rangers 0
Queen dies
Rangers 0 Napoli 3

Sing away you clowns.

3am and people are filing past again. the last half hour or so was just a shot of the outside. did they stop?

reminds me of big brother when they used to show that overnight and you could just watch people sleeping.

they're no longer single filing the queue, the estimate from above isn't going to be correct anymore

Two football teams who played the weekend after the Queen died are being investigated and will be "dealt with in the strongest possible terms" https://t.co/i4lFrLOTIC

— Sky News (@SkyNews) September 14, 2022

https://images-cdn.bridgemanimages.com/api/1.0/image/600wm.LAL.0386540.7055475/453651.jpg

A firing squad would obviously be more practical though.

Every Brit in the UK (children included) should be obligated to watch the Queens funeral as it will forever be a huge part of British history and further education! As sad as Queen Elizabeth II passing is, it has really united the people which I thought was an impossible task 👏🏼 https://t.co/hn7w1exPYy

— Ant Middleton (@antmiddleton) September 14, 2022

I'm going in

I did not expect the Wikipedia entry for the royal corgis to become this horrifying pic.twitter.com/81ZwOdvS6g

— Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) September 14, 2022

I wonder how many other people are finding this whole situation is stoking a furious unforgiving revolutionary rage inside them

This was really interesting. If only we could have these conversations here.

Un-Whitewashing: Every once in a while, someone unexpectedly describes succinctly & cogently, in an unexpected place, the historical legacy of the relation between between the British monarchy, colonialism, white supremacy & racial slavery. And it just takes your breath away. https://t.co/YHX1MauiDy

— Blues and Abstract Truth (@barnor_hesse) September 14, 2022

I wonder how many other people are finding this whole situation is stoking a furious unforgiving revolutionary rage inside them

But of course. I'm consoling my self with the thought that these fuckers are riding for a fall and the whole thing's going to blow up on their faces - I think it's more likely than ever that the UK is going to cease to exist relatively soon.

I think a lot of countries will get out of the common wealth first. The anti-colonial critiques have been great to see.

It's made this hell carnival a lot more palatable. That and Charles, who clearly can't hack it.

counterpoint:

Moved, honestly, to tears, watching hundreds and hundreds of Londoners queuing for hours, filing by and paying respect to the Queen's coffin in Westminster Hall.
Quite a few crying.
Livestream herehttps://t.co/MSNYSaEvMk pic.twitter.com/XxS0NaJDJs

— Eduard Habsburg (@EduardHabsburg) September 15, 2022

"Londoners". Aye, right.

Looks well worth the 30-hour wait

"your all londoners now"
— the austro-hungarian empire

dynastic rulers always were good at putting aside petty differences like religion or decades-long wars if their own legitimacy were being called into question. solidarity!

i mean the habsburgs literally started the first world war so "always good at" arrives a bit freighted with caveats here

true! i meant to say that my impression is that kings and queens have more in common with each other than with their own subjects regardless of what conflicts those subjects are notionally fighting each other for and they'd get into bed with each other in an instant - sometimes literally - if it meant not having to relinquish even 1% of the privileges they'd amassed

More in common as in they are actually related to each other usually.

... in Europe certainly.

They're mostly above mere nationality... or German, one of the two.

the two main reasons why the pundits of like 1913 were saying there wouldn't be a war were "our royals are all related and our markets favour integration and stability!"

however this wasn't quite correct

personally, I'd find something more fulfilling and less morbid to do than queueing for over 30 hours for a hurried viewing of the queen's box. I mean anything else would be better for your mental health ... bus spotting, making giant ice statues of Hitler, reading every Rothman's football yearbook from '89-99 etc etc

Been there done that... Rothman's Yearbook that is

Do they still do Rothman’s? I think a leaky shed roof finally finished off my late ‘70s editions :(

xp yep, I'm not sure when they finished but my brother has a huge collection of them. And in the pre-internet days they were invaluable for looking up season's from the past and re-living them.

I would mourn *their* passing. I’d probably queue for up to five minutes for a gander at the 1984-85 edition.

now i'm wondering where my grandad's cigarette card albums are

they were informative! without them i wd not know abt ancient lights or the hand of glory

I learned so much about geography and how to recognize nationalities by their names from those Rothman's books. So, yes, I can recognize a Swiss German surname from a German surname from an Austrian surname.

they were such an abrupt mixture: like "superstitions of the world" (interesting!) then you turn the page and it was "the ships of the white star line in 1935" (less so!)

true! i meant to say that my impression is that kings and queens have more in common with each other than with their own subjects regardless of what conflicts those subjects are notionally fighting each other for and they'd get into bed with each other in an instant - sometimes literally - if it meant not having to relinquish even 1% of the privileges they'd amassed

i have a bunch of PG Tips card books that my nan collected the cards for when i was little. just to tie thinks up nicely they include Play Better Soccer, introduced by Don Revie

lol no who are those dudes

xpost

those two shd have done a "parent trap"-style escapade during ww1

nicky boy and george v, the other cuz wilhelm ii was even more of an embarrassing tool than nicky lol

He can take all those medals and throw them in the bin.

Then there's this guy.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c5/1f/08/c51f08dd5e2483b6ca9d735a57f89808.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/16/Kaiser_Wilhelm_II_of_Germany_-_1902%28cropped%29.jpg

Wilhelm II had this stache and when I was studying this guy for leaving cert history, my friend drew him on successive pages of my history book with the moustache curving higher on every page flipbook style - so whenever I hear his name I mentally think (like it’s a sub header): Kaiser Wilhem: Onward and Upward

Even by inbred German princeling standards - which all of them are - Wilhelm was outstandingly boorish and thick.

No less a source than Tatler reports that the Kaiser was considered embarrassing by his own family

On his annual trip to see his British relatives, Wilhelm was reportedly loud and aggressive, with his sense of humour leaving much to be desired. Meanwhile from the other side, it has been speculated that his British relatives mocked his attire, which was not right for the summer-casual aesthetic at Cowes, with its boat shoes and striped blazers.

The kaiser and the future king tried constantly to one-up each other with bigger, faster, flashier boats, with the German nephew desperate to impress his English uncle, who of course was known for his great fleet of naval ships.

In 1896, the kaiser had the biggest yacht yet built, the 121-ft long Meteor II, which he pitted against Edward's Britannia. After it won, the future king retired from racing at Cowes.


In 2008, reports emerged via the descendant of a bystander that the future king had punched his nephew, after he laughed at him for losing in a race. As Henry Brasted, son of local yachting specialist William Brasted, told the Daily Gazette: 'Kaiser Bill jeered King Teddy about the result, where straight away King Teddy hit him in the mouth, knocked him down, then stormed into the club.

yeah I remember reading about george v on a state visit to germany, and some german politicians were cringing at his behaviour and privately saying to the members of the british delegation "wish our inbred mofo was as smooth operator as yours is"

and the Ls keep coming

https://twitter.com/i/events/1570067556697784320

damn, that Psalm 139 rendition got me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqm3iJKHpH4

oh, it's a modern composition too: On 14 September 2022, he conducted his choral setting of Psalm 139 (1-18, 23-end) for the reception of the Queen's coffin at Westminster Hall.[4] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_O%27Donnell_(organist)

England rn pic.twitter.com/siYYsmKbL1

— Cameron Williams (@MrCamW) September 15, 2022

“Come and watch the Queen’s funeral at our sex club” pic.twitter.com/KrmP81UrMJ

— GrieveWatch (@GrieveWatch) September 15, 2022

Lol

Interesting how the monarchy is comparatively FAR more disruptive than unions on strike https://t.co/VZyt0cWC7H

— Laurie “Abolish Golf” Charles (@thestuffofmemes) September 14, 2022

Looking forward to those vox pops with stranded travellers

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FcuvrGEWYAAl66E?format=jpg&name=medium

lol, this is actually real.

Our dead Queen had no charisma 🤝 Kieth

we have always been at war with vibrancy

HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN'S LYING-IN-STATE QUEUE UPDATE, 09:50 AM, 16 Sept

Southwark Park has reached capacity. Entry will be paused for at least 6 hours. We are sorry for any inconvenience.

Please do not attempt to join the queue until it re-opens.

Check back for further updates pic.twitter.com/XMpyhOrme7

— Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (@DCMS) September 16, 2022

why do i feel like they're gaming this to some extent?

https://hl.nwaonline.com/news/2019/aug/25/dq-now-open-20190825/

I think this is worth keeping in mind too. It just feels bad bcz we assume the majority of ppl queueing are Tory and through this government they get their wish.

More people voted Green in England & Wales in the 2019 General Election than are expected to queue and view the Queen’s coffin. It’s a lot of people, but I don’t think it tells us a huge amount about national feeling let alone ideology.

— Tom Gann (@Tom_Gann) September 16, 2022

https://ny.eater.com/2014/5/29/6216399/manhattans-first-dairy-queen-opens-today

xp that's a bit of a bullshit argument, voting is easy. just because people don't want to travel to london and queue for twelve hours doesn't mean they aren't brown-nosed tory monarchists.

The sole protester outside Llandaff cathedral so far - watched by two police officers. pic.twitter.com/bCvrcNlfqu

— steven morris (@stevenmorris20) September 16, 2022

xp the point isn't that there are plenty more bootlickers out there, but that the queue itself is being used as a bullshit argument

just heard Conte joined the crowd outside Buckingham Palace, the sad bastard. Not a good idea to bow to people when you are wearing a syrup our kid!

"Fun, tiring but also exciting!"

8-year-old scout Freddy stayed up all night with his family and we caught up with him just before he reached Westminster Hall to pay his respects to the Queen.#KayBurley wx pic.twitter.com/wDrvs7U0pN

— Kay Burley (@KayBurley) September 16, 2022

when they're interviewing the people who are queuing to see the coffin, or going to see the proclamations of the new king in their town centre and stuff, particularly when they've brought their kids along with them, they say stuff like "I wanted to bring my kids to see this because it's something they'll remember for the rest of their lives", and I agree that before republicans get to down-hearted they should consider that for a lot of people this is less about any kind of fanatic devotion to the monarchy and more about wanting to be part of an historic moment, the fact that it's been so long since we had a change of monarch makes it seem more like an historic moment, like if Halley's comet was going past you might feel inclined to watch it even if you don't particularly care about comets, but because you knew this would be your only chance to see it. Or how you might want to watch as the odometer on your car turns over to a number with lots of zeros.