Site New Answers Search Boards ILM ILE Answers New Question New Questions New Poll Blog View Register Login

Have you had your Christmas fuck yet?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
?

― horny, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

No, as it happens. You asking?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 08:10 (twenty-three years ago)

i haven't ahd a fuck since last century

― Queen G (Queeng), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 10:45 (twenty-three years ago)

i didn't even get a fuck on the last leg of the tour, due to feminine issues so how the heck am i going to get one over xmas? lack of drunkenness and/or people i actually want to fuck kinda precludes it as well...

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 12:47 (twenty-three years ago)

'Feminine issues'? There's ppl out there who haven't got their RED WINGS yet, amazingly

― dave q, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 12:50 (twenty-three years ago)

kate, you have mail.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Dave, that's gross.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I wear my red wings w/pride!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Literally! I am proud to be a mutant!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

How does a Christmas wank fit into this proposal?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

redwings with a guy you know will not be grossed out = classic. redwings with random groupies you meet at aftershows who you still can't believe you actually PULLED without them running off shrieking "oh my god, you're hideous" and who you suspect would get weirded out as fuck at the prospect of redwings = too much of a potential ego-shredder for me to go there.

i didn't have an xmas fuck the year before, either. poo.

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate, you have a reply on your other account.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

And another reply.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 14:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus. Are there still men out there who get weirded out by red wings? Do they think they're John Ruskin or something? How do they ever get laid?

― Douglas, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

: /

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

J.Lu, maybe people could pair up for that?

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Douglas you have lived in NYC too long. There are whole regions filled with men who are weirded about by red wings. Probably most of the women, too. This is fine though because it restores a nice ain't-we-deviant feel to the proceedings.

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:39 (twenty-three years ago)

what's red wings

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Think about it, Ron.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 15:57 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe, but i'd rather somebody just tell me

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

can someone tell me for when i get home from work, i gotta go

― ron (ron), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:25 (twenty-three years ago)

: \

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 16:51 (twenty-three years ago)

HAW HAHAHAHAHAHA

― Vic (Vic), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:07 (twenty-three years ago)

i lived around NYC all my life, and red wings gross/weird me out

manhattan don't turn what's gross into what's sexy, you know

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:17 (twenty-three years ago)

no red queen's gonna be off with my head ...

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

ride that cotton pony off into the sunset, cowgirl

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i got fucked, but not ina sexual way. i'd consider mys3lf lucky if the opportunity of red wings presented itself. ugh.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

my girlfriend is coming to town on friday night, if that counts at all.
yay!

― joan vich (joan vich), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

ron - red wings is when you've fucked someone who is on the rag. When one is into anal sex with males, this may cause some problems.

― Queen G (Queeng), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

actually, technically, red wings refers to ORAL SEX with a girl who is on the rag.

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks g. well, oral i dunno, maybe. intercourse while having period is not a big deal, what's a little blood between friends? i'm just not sure about in my mouth, i guess i am a bit WIERDED OUT ;-)

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 01:41 (twenty-three years ago)

My Christmas will be coming sometime in mid March, sigh.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 11:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Christmas. Fuck.

― Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:03 (twenty-three years ago)

so red wings has nothibng to do with muscled icehockey men then? hm...

http://www.danburymintsports.com/images/uploads/nhs01000.jpg

― erik, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:23 (twenty-three years ago)

HEY!!! did detroit steal our team? i swear last time i checked it was the ADIRONDACK RED WINGS. or are there another team? albany didn't rate its own hockey team cause all the decent players were drafted by southern ontario.

― kate, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 12:35 (twenty-three years ago)

wouldn't that be like red whiskers or something?

― Queen G (Queeng), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

i want to fuck 3 out of 7 of my uncles brothers.

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 23:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Thats Detroit's farm team.

― col noodles, Thursday, 26 December 2002 00:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Accidentally getting your red wings because you are an inexperienced/inebriated teenager: Classic or Dud?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic if someone else, dud if you.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway does red wings really refer specifically to oral?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 22:12 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...
That was my understanding Mark yes.

(Oh the randomiser, what joy it brings)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 10:22 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...
The implications of Dan's last statement on this thread are actually horrifying...?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

SHUDDER

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

from now on, my nickname for dan is "moses."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Gross!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I know it's been two years, but surely people haven't forgotten the Dreadful Cunnilingus Story already!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

tad! dammit!

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha misternotsohungrynow)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my god. I finally figured out what the term meant right before getting to the explanations....

say, would Vampires like red wings?

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan. OMG. Jesus christ. Holy shit. OMG.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you sure she was on her period? It sounds like one of her fucking ovaries hemmoraged for god's sake.

OMG. Can't breathe. OMG. Holy shit. I totally missed that thread.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

YET STILL SOMEHOW THAT STORY IS BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD GOING ON IN MY HEAD.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh heh heh. I'm not reading it again, no, but I remember the story all too well from its first telling.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

JUST DON'T BITE IT!

― Eazy-E (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

jesus h. christ on
a lemon popsicle stick.
holy flippin' shit.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Whatever you do, Ally, DON'T THINK OF COOKIE MONSTER.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

ARRRGH DON'T GO THERE TAD I JUST GOT THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD AND REPLACED IT WITH A BLOOD COVERED DAN (COS I DON'T KNOW WHAT "HIS FRIEND" LOOKS LIKE)

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

*vomits*

― smee (smee), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to go sit outside smoking a cigarette while sitting in a semi-fetal position rocking back and forth now, thanks Dan.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

NWA performed a public service to EVERYONE with that song

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.abc.net.au/central/stories/m473502.jpg

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha I am the dick)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

a few years ago, my brother was tracking search results that brought people to his (personal, blog-y) site, and somebody arrived there via the keywords "chrismas fuck" (in that exact spelling). that phrase is forever burned into my brain, as is Dan's cunnilingus story now.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd like to thank you all for putting me off going anywhere near anybody's nether-regions for the foreseeable future. sexually frustrated? see Dan!

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I will no longer be having a Christmas fuck now thanks to this thread, being as I am too horrified to even contemplate sexual activity for at least a month. Slutty elf costume going to waste, etc.

I blame only myself. My boyfriend, OTOH, might blame you, Dan. Fair warning.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

no elf tart for x-mas!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Cookie cookie cookie starts with C

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

elf garb is not all that sexy, is it?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd just like to take this moment to thank Dan for adding the phrase, "menstrual smell," to the ILeXicon.

(also: eat cookie = hahahaha)

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

stevem didn't you see the Good Stripping Songs thread when I revived it asking for Christmas stripping songs??! Trust me, it was hot! But now it is in the garbage.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Between this thread and the "Cookie cookie cookie starts with C" thread, I think I'm losing my mind... AND I LIKE IT.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

santa's songs 2 succubi

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

no wonder santa's always so merry ... and those rosy cheeks and red nose.

and we haven't even gotten to rudolph yet

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

you can't see a menstrual mess on a red suit

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Tad, once Ally comes out of her self-induced trauma coma she's totally gonna kick your ass.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

You're going to hell, Tad.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

she'll have to cross the hudson ... that shit's to ally what garlic and crosses are to dracula.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I cross the Hudson every other fucking weekend. Do not make me get off the Amtrak at Newark. I will have you, son.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Charlie Brown: Why is he such a hippie?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

dear santa- please erase the memory of dan's uterine lining facial mask story from my mind forever. and why in my mental picture does the guy resemble christopher walken?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

when menses isn't yer kink, then there's always this i suppose:

http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/acatalog/680.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

or if you wanna mix the two:

http://www.mainegoodies.com/food/fluff/fluff.jpg

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

AGGGGH STOP IT NOW I'M THINKING OF CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND DAN COVERED IN FLUFF AND BLOOD FUCK YOU!! I AM JOINING THE NUNNERY AFTER WORK TODAY!! YOU'VE ALL RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE!!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't want to click on it, I don't want to...

except I did.

At least I no longer want to eat the lasagne I brought for lunch...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hang on hang on, they make raspberry fluff? That's the grossest thing I've heard so far on this thread, what is wrong with humanity??

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

it could be worse it could be blueberry fluff

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Or lime.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

did i ever mention how my parents would take us blueberry picking in the poconos when i was a little eisbär?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

That's very twee and stupid of them.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.trumptaj.com/images/entertainment/ringo-benatar.jpg

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

ms benatar has not aged well

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand these jokes anymore.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Are Tad's parents Pat Benetar and RIngo Starr? Is Ringo Starr covered in blood and fluff? Are they all black robots? WTF. I hate everyone right now. Especially Mugsy Bogues.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.switcheroo.com/Photos/marshmallowcreme.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/images/basketball/nba/players/knicks/31.jpg
Ally, why do you spurn my reckless advances?

― Muggsy, with Kisses (Nick A.), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

He's like 4'3 isn't he?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...
HOLY SHIT we were all really insane a few years ago, huh?

― Dan ("Were") Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 March 2006 23:02 (twenty years ago)

A noble tradition.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 March 2006 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Wait, wait, there's such a thing as a "Christmas fuck"?? Dude, I have 29 Christmases to make up for.

― Laurel, Saturday, 4 March 2006 00:18 (twenty years ago)

yeah what she said!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 4 March 2006 00:23 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.onlinesports.com/images/phf-aadn034.jpg

― chaki, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:06 (eighteen years ago)

You fucked Shanny? n1

― dan m, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:07 (eighteen years ago)

chaki da triumphant

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 24 December 2007 02:15 (eighteen years ago)

you got yr redwings yet, shrimp?

― chaki, Monday, 24 December 2007 09:07 (eighteen years ago)

http://toxmystery.nlm.nih.gov/text_version/images/toxmystery_kitchen.jpg

http://jspwiki.org/attach/BrushedTemplateSlimbox/doggy.bmp

― moley, Monday, 24 December 2007 09:32 (eighteen years ago)

moley very happy.

― moley, Monday, 24 December 2007 09:33 (eighteen years ago)

who puts a basket containing a kitten on top of a freezer?

― blueski, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:01 (eighteen years ago)

I was thinking more, you know, pussy in the kitchen, doggy style. Oh God please may my lover never find this thread.

― moley, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

root cluedo

― electricsound, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:46 (eighteen years ago)

copped a xmas feel

― pc user, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

I think "lover" is one of my least favorite words ever. It's right up there with "moist" and "panties" making "My lover's moist panties" a horrible horrible combination.

― ENBB, Monday, 24 December 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

two hours ago. planning it took some of the fun out, but not all.

― darraghmac, Monday, 24 December 2007 13:05 (eighteen years ago)

gf just phoned to tell me that she's just come on, so I'm getting nuffing this xmas (and redwings do nothing for me I'm afraid.) Looks like wine and lego star wars will be getting more than it's fair share

― The Wayward Johnny B, Monday, 24 December 2007 13:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/730664/2/istockphoto_730664_cleveland_cityscape_iv.jpg
http://www.ontarioferries.com/jii/english/images/about/ships_large/lrg_steamer_telegram.jpg

― max, Monday, 24 December 2007 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

max had sex on a boat in cleveland?

― homosexual II, Monday, 24 December 2007 17:38 (eighteen years ago)

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c21/PaisleyScott/santa.jpg

― homosexual II, Monday, 24 December 2007 17:38 (eighteen years ago)

Uh.

― Tuomas, Monday, 24 December 2007 17:42 (eighteen years ago)

Happy Christmas, Mandee!

― Tuomas, Monday, 24 December 2007 17:42 (eighteen years ago)

Surely he's holding the mistletoe in the wrong place.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:13 (eighteen years ago)

U GOT IT RIGHT MANDEE

― max, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:17 (eighteen years ago)

is that tuom of finland?

― mookieproof, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.skydiveorange.com/tandem4-300-400.jpg

― Will M., Monday, 24 December 2007 18:25 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.skydivereservationshawaii.com/photos/exits/HawaiiTandemSkydiveExit.jpg

― Will M., Monday, 24 December 2007 18:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.clevelandskydiving.com/img/cleveland-skydiving_tandem.jpg
http://www.skydivecsc.com/images_content/IMG_1064.jpg
http://www.vegasextremeskydiving.com/images/skydive-1.jpg

― Will M., Monday, 24 December 2007 18:27 (eighteen years ago)

I think "lover" is one of my least favorite words ever. It's right up there with "moist" and "panties" making "My lover's moist panties" a horrible horrible combination.

-- ENBB, Monday, December 24, 2007 7:58 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you are a unique flower

― and what, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

a moist, unique flower

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:38 (eighteen years ago)

haha, my sister-in-law hates the word "moist" too, so i spend most christmases trying to figure out ways to use it nonchalantly

― sanskrit, Monday, 24 December 2007 18:44 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.sabresfans.com/history/images%5Cmalarchuk2.jpg

Post-Red Wing photo.

My girlfriend is totally bumming me out this holiday. I’ll be alone, drunk, and watching Battlestar Galactica.

― Mr. Goodman, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:25 (eighteen years ago)

hahahha

― chaki, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:31 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/i/iu/iuriatan/430905_rusty_metal_plate.jpg
http://www.francescosalomoni.com/trombone.gif

― max, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

i dated a girl that hated "moist" - it was so visceral. i quickly became an expert at using it seemingly by accident until i eventually went too far with it.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:38 (eighteen years ago)

like 80% of girls i know hate at least one of "moist," "panties" and "lover"

― max, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

http://roxettebunny.mu.nu/archives/donkey.jpg
http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/1173617/2/istockphoto_1173617_punch_judy.jpg

― Just got offed, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.papermag.com/blogs/SizzleSisters.jpg
http://www.global-b2b-network.com/direct/dbimage/50238162/Paper_Cup.jpg

― Just got offed, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

Mandee fucking rules

LJ is that supposed to mean ass sausages? xpost

― Abbott, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

donkee punch

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=donkey+punch

xp

― gr8080, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:46 (eighteen years ago)

i kinda prefer "ass sausages"

― Just got offed, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:55 (eighteen years ago)

It is so obvious now.

― Abbott, Monday, 24 December 2007 19:56 (eighteen years ago)

I haven't even had my Halloween fuck

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

wait, I mean.... Election day

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

no joy with black metal girl ;_;

― Just got offed, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

She never called back

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

I'll run into her again

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

xmas orgasm, but not really fuck

― roxymuzak, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:42 (eighteen years ago)

there is almost zero chance of this happening

― gbx, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

there is almost zero chance of this happening

-- gbx, Monday, December 24, 2007 2:59 PM (Monday, December 24, 2007 2:59 PM) Bookmark Link

too true. i think there's currently a less than zero percent chance of this happening.

― chicago kevin, Monday, 24 December 2007 21:12 (eighteen years ago)

less than zero percent chance with me. unless i run into someone super irresistible with a horny raygun at blockbuster video here in a few minutes.

― homosexual II, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:12 (eighteen years ago)

I'm kind of starting to despise people with normal, active sex lives.

― The Reverend, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:26 (eighteen years ago)

0% chance of this unless a female coworker all of a sudden drags me into some ridiculous television drama scenario during a period when I am for some reason completely luculent

― El Tomboto, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

i think i just made a date for mine.

― gr8080, Monday, 24 December 2007 23:19 (eighteen years ago)

bastard

― El Tomboto, Monday, 24 December 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

The only person I could potentially have this with is away for Christmas, so no go. We were actually at a club with a friend yesterday, but we made a pact that unless Ville Valo (the lead singer of HIM, who she finds hot) or Mariska (a local female rapper, who I think is hot) shows up there, we won't even try to pick up anyone else, but leave the place together. Neither of those persons showed up, so no Christmas fuck this year. It's okay though.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 10:40 (eighteen years ago)

no chance of christmas fuck for me u_u

slight possibility of christmas phone sex ^_^

― max, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 10:42 (eighteen years ago)

i would like one of these. but dont see it happening

― Alex in Denver, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 14:10 (eighteen years ago)

Being at parents' house pretty much makes the chances of this 0. :-(

― ENBB, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 14:18 (eighteen years ago)

you're just not thinking creatively enough

― remy bean, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

The last time I was at someone's parents' house, it didn't stop me. It was a big house though.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:14 (eighteen years ago)

i'm still owed thanksgiving, halloween, my birthday, labor day, fourth of july, summer solstice, guy fawkes day...

― impudent harlot, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

HEY ALEX IN DENVER I AM IN DENVER TOO... HINT HINT

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

I don't think you can "owe" all of these, unless there's an actual person who owes them to you.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

(x-post)

Is there an English word for "being in the need of sex and really showing it"? Because we have one word in Finnish that perfectly sums this up.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:21 (eighteen years ago)

being in the need of sex and really showing it

album title!!!

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:22 (eighteen years ago)

tuomas are you going to teach us your awesome word or what

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:27 (eighteen years ago)

"desperate"

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:29 (eighteen years ago)

The word is "puutteessa", which literally means "lacking", but when it's used as such without any attributes (like "lacking food"), it means "lacking sex and showing it".

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:32 (eighteen years ago)

yes, but my hand got tired

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:35 (eighteen years ago)

puutteessa puttanesca

― Wrinklepaws, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:41 (eighteen years ago)

I've never seen a word with four consecutive letter repetitions before, in any language.

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:43 (eighteen years ago)

I BET THERE ARE SOME UMLAUTS YOU'RE NOT TELLING US ABOUT TUOMAS

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

finnish and estonian are in their own weird, weird corner with that stuff

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:46 (eighteen years ago)

And Hungarian. That's the weirdest of the lot.

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 15:47 (eighteen years ago)

"puutteessa" - must have this in shirt form.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

i have to wait until ny's for mine, btw.
but it'll be well worth it if we can find another girl! :D

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

^i have the poster's remorse - sorry if that was tmi.^

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

Being at parents' house pretty much makes the chances of this 0. :-(

-- ENBB, Tuesday, December 25, 2007 8:18 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

― gbx, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

Hey now. Four times today. You know.

-Jim Swells

― murderdogger, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

In between all the fucking walks that my family keep on taking, this is highly unlikely.

― o-ess, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:08 (eighteen years ago)

Being at parents' house pretty much makes the chances of this 0. :-(

-- ENBB, Tuesday, December 25, 2007 8:18 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

-- gbx, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 20:06 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:15 (eighteen years ago)

how does one fuck and walk?
xpost

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:16 (eighteen years ago)

READING + WANKING

― Just got offed, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

in the can, folx.

― chaki, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

^^^

― gr8080, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:40 (eighteen years ago)

i might have new years daet

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 22:41 (eighteen years ago)

hi dere.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 00:00 (eighteen years ago)

you're his date?

― remy bean, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 00:15 (eighteen years ago)

ENBB OT-ARGHH

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 00:32 (eighteen years ago)

I suspect I am visibly puutteessa.

― The Reverend, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 00:32 (eighteen years ago)

my date just took a rain check.

:(

― gr8080, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 00:46 (eighteen years ago)

Tiarnán I can't cope! I'd get the bus down to Galway tomorrow if it weren't for your freezing house and the weird shower in your parents' cupboard situation.

― o-ess, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 01:05 (eighteen years ago)

oh and from my experience in Finland, there are people getting naked everywhere at the drop of a hat so if somebody is extremely puutteessa it must be difficult to get by.
Also, Estonian is hilarious. The sex shops are called 'erootikapoot'

― o-ess, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 01:07 (eighteen years ago)

o_O

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 01:08 (eighteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

it's that time of year ...

― Eisbär (Eisbaer), Monday, 22 December 2008 02:56 (seventeen years ago)

it's jesus's birthday, guys.

― Big MARY aka the steenburgen (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 22 December 2008 03:00 (seventeen years ago)

that's what confession is for, yo!

― Eisbär (Eisbaer), Monday, 22 December 2008 03:37 (seventeen years ago)

a few years ago, my brother was tracking search results that brought people to his (personal, blog-y) site, and somebody arrived there via the keywords "chrismas fuck" (in that exact spelling). that phrase is forever burned into my brain, as is Dan's cunnilingus story now.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, December 18, 2003 12:31 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

had to check to make sure i didn't post this already

― deeznuts roasting on an open fire (some dude), Monday, 22 December 2008 03:40 (seventeen years ago)

i drove past a light display tonight that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS"
xpost

christmas is a wistful time where fucking is concerned.

― thieverend (tehresa), Monday, 22 December 2008 04:48 (seventeen years ago)

good sex can be without the proximity and vice versa

― mookieproof, Monday, 22 December 2008 05:07 (seventeen years ago)

..

― Mark G, Monday, 22 December 2008 07:55 (seventeen years ago)

And the cumsox were hung by the chiminey with care...

― Bored American Aerospace Defense Command (BORAD) (contenderizer), Monday, 22 December 2008 07:59 (seventeen years ago)

in the hope that..

actually, no.

― Mark G, Monday, 22 December 2008 08:04 (seventeen years ago)

my date just took a rain check.

:(

― gr8080, Tuesday, December 25, 2007 2:46 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

seeing this^^ girl again as of late~~

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Monday, 22 December 2008 09:39 (seventeen years ago)

she really did get back to you on that, then?

― Mark G, Monday, 22 December 2008 09:59 (seventeen years ago)

xmas eve with my girlfriend = charlie + champagne + schoolgirl outfit

Merry christmas!

― NotEnough, Monday, 22 December 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

fuckmesantafuckmesantafuckmesantafuckmesanta

― throwbookatface (skygreenleopard), Monday, 22 December 2008 23:23 (seventeen years ago)

I've had my Christmas drink with your ex who you still have feelings for who spends the whole time telling you how great her new boyfriend is and how you have to meet him because he's really nice. Almost as good.

― chap, Monday, 22 December 2008 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

for once, yes.

last night I also had my christmas pole dance on a bus while dementedly screaming hot chocolate's "you sexy thing" for 30 minutes.

― Local Garda, Monday, 22 December 2008 23:30 (seventeen years ago)

We have to sleep in the living room while her family occupies both of our bedrooms, so I am seriously doubting that the Christmas fuck is happening unless we both suddenly get super shameless.

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Monday, 22 December 2008 23:43 (seventeen years ago)

oh man big up sneaking around family style

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Monday, 22 December 2008 23:48 (seventeen years ago)

ILTMI has the answers

Public Restrooms

― Merry Christuomas (electricsound), Monday, 22 December 2008 23:52 (seventeen years ago)

Can the title of this thread be made less awful?

― Bored American Aerospace Defense Command (BORAD) (contenderizer), Monday, 22 December 2008 23:53 (seventeen years ago)

This is looking to be my first solo x-mas in a good 5 years.

― Nate Carson, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 02:33 (seventeen years ago)

solo xxx-mas

― Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 02:41 (seventeen years ago)

I'm just glad I'm not the only loser in cyberspace. BTW if I weighed 70 pounds less, I would be having sex right now. SOmehow over the past 2 years I have become bloated and more antisocial! YAY ME

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:39 (seventeen years ago)

I got an xmas lap dance. the dry humping made my herpes flare up. therefore, xmas fuck unlikely.

― Brio, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:45 (seventeen years ago)

I'm just glad I'm not the only loser in cyberspace.

nice

― Lingbert, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 04:46 (seventeen years ago)

yes.

― modernism, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 08:56 (seventeen years ago)

i is virj :-((((((((((((((

― n/o_O (PappaWheelie V), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 09:16 (seventeen years ago)

I just want to know why chap is having an xmas drink with my ex, let alone how he knows all these details.

― burt_stampon (libcrypt), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 15:42 (seventeen years ago)

o

― Mark G, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 16:17 (seventeen years ago)

Can the title of this thread be made less awful?

that would miss the point entirely

― akm, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 02:07 (seventeen years ago)

how does one fuck Christmas?

― "Sustainability Sucks" T's Ahoy For Urban Outfitters Bootches (Mackro Mackro), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 04:02 (seventeen years ago)

i am trying to schedule a few for my return to town

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 06:54 (seventeen years ago)

yes, I have had mine just a couple of days ago from my out of towner; tho quite a fine time, it was a very anticlimactic 12 hour "layover" following our really wonderful tryst two weeks previously that was a proper 2-1/2 days spent in bed with only interruption for food and sleeping. I won't see him again until May, and if luck is on my side perhaps I will have a reason to say I am not available, but <sigh> it's not likely. If there was only someone with whom I would connect on the same level...

awww, that's just California Dreamin' on such a Winter's day.

― Wiggy Woo, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 07:08 (seventeen years ago)

how does one fuck Christmas?

― "Sustainability Sucks" T's Ahoy For Urban Outfitters Bootches (Mackro Mackro), Wednesday, December 24, 2008 4:02 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It takes two (baby)

― Mark G, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 08:22 (seventeen years ago)

my new years resolution will be to be better prepared for my xmas fuck next year

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 08:38 (seventeen years ago)

"This is looking to be my first solo x-mas in a good 5 years."

I was wrong. Flight was postponed til 12/25. Thank you Oregon snow days. So looks like a lady I know will be hanging with me for x-mas eve after all. There will be no fucking though. Not yet anyway.

― Nate Carson, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

My wife made me go to midnight mass, and I'm pretty sure the young couple sitting in front of us went off and fucked in the bathrooms before mass started.

― Dan I., Friday, 26 December 2008 02:04 (seventeen years ago)

God bless 'em.

― choom gang of four (sic), Friday, 26 December 2008 02:24 (seventeen years ago)

no birthday fuck or christmas fuck this year.
it's okay, though, cuz i have cats.

― ian, Friday, 26 December 2008 02:28 (seventeen years ago)

Sneaking around family is fun but if you aren't the type to be able to stay quiet then closets or guest bedrooms in the afternoon while people are napping aren't going to work...you gotta find a place outside or maybe a barn or garage or something if it's really cold.

― Muomas (nickalicious), Friday, 26 December 2008 03:02 (seventeen years ago)

i believe my chance died tonight... maybe new year then whatever i am drunk silly and watchung die hard instead. my best advice for u still trying; leave the family out if it

― sonderangerbot, Friday, 26 December 2008 03:06 (seventeen years ago)

did you try to make out with your cousin or something?

― ian, Friday, 26 December 2008 03:17 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

merry christmas, anyone?!?

― NOTTHEBEESNOTTHEBEESNOTTHEBEESAAAAAAAAAAAARGH (Eisbaer), Monday, 28 December 2009 07:26 (sixteen years ago)

This is the first Christmas in three or four years that I'm not dating someone, so nothing for me this year, not even casual sex. :(

― Tuomas, Monday, 28 December 2009 07:41 (sixteen years ago)

Same as w Tuomas. God, it sucks

― The reverse TARDIS of pasta (Niles Caulder), Monday, 28 December 2009 07:56 (sixteen years ago)

So soon, I leave to see my new sweatheart in 3 days.

― Jacob Sanders, Monday, 28 December 2009 08:02 (sixteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR YO

― deutsche Scheisse prawns (Eisbaer), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:15 (fifteen years ago)

we almost came to blows

― mercy mercy me, that beanfield milagro (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:17 (fifteen years ago)

would kill for a blows

― got electrolytes (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:29 (fifteen years ago)

you can probably pay instead. lesser offense.

― not everything is a campfire (ian), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:47 (fifteen years ago)

i prefer crimes of passion.

― got electrolytes (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:50 (fifteen years ago)

little early for a revive, no?

― Hongrotronics (get bent), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:56 (fifteen years ago)

did we start counting on black friday?

― Hongrotronics (get bent), Saturday, 11 December 2010 04:56 (fifteen years ago)

when it's down to just those special few per year, the looking forward can be just as fun as the main event.

― not everything is a campfire (ian), Saturday, 11 December 2010 05:06 (fifteen years ago)

christmas season starts earlier each year, so this thread starts earlier each year ... ?

― deutsche Scheisse prawns (Eisbaer), Saturday, 11 December 2010 05:23 (fifteen years ago)

If you're having sex with Sting, you can start now and not finish til Christmas.

― something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Saturday, 11 December 2010 05:28 (fifteen years ago)

not gonna get any from today thru jan 5th :(

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Saturday, 11 December 2010 20:21 (fifteen years ago)

Had my Christmas "fuck off"

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Saturday, 11 December 2010 20:23 (fifteen years ago)

I have zero prospects for a xmas fuck atm.

― lookin qwyte (crüt), Saturday, 11 December 2010 20:25 (fifteen years ago)

confident of advent calendar pwnage this year tbh

― chortlin acoleuthic (darraghmac), Saturday, 11 December 2010 20:28 (fifteen years ago)

Turns out my Halloween fuck was supposed to last for the rest of the year.

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Saturday, 11 December 2010 20:30 (fifteen years ago)

also dealing w/ 'when it rains it pours' situation rmde -- crut move to chi & ill hook you up

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Saturday, 11 December 2010 23:57 (fifteen years ago)

I have zero prospects for a xmas fuck atm.

― lookin qwyte (crüt), Saturday, December 11, 2010 2:25 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

― kanellos (gbx), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:23 (fifteen years ago)

Done and doner.

― The reverse TARDIS of pasta (Niles Caulder), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:25 (fifteen years ago)

"Hey, wanna go home together?" is a better line than I'd thought

― The reverse TARDIS of pasta (Niles Caulder), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:26 (fifteen years ago)

huh

― kanellos (gbx), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:27 (fifteen years ago)

It's a really, really good line

― i'm assuming that it's tity boi, host of the mixtape (sic), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:33 (fifteen years ago)

It is when it works

― The reverse TARDIS of pasta (Niles Caulder), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:36 (fifteen years ago)

hmm i just kept telling this girl how fine i thought she was til she agreed to date me

― lotta diamonds ... but prolly more display names (deej), Sunday, 12 December 2010 00:37 (fifteen years ago)

so does it count yet? does it have to be the week of xmas?

― OFQM (gr8080), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 03:33 (fifteen years ago)

As long as your true love really gave it to you good, it counts.

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 04:01 (fifteen years ago)

I have zero prospects for a xmas fuck atm.

― lookin qwyte (crüt), Saturday, December 11, 2010 2:25 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

― kanellos (gbx), Sunday, December 12, 2010 12:23 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark

well, no, more of a

I have zero prospects for a xmas fuck atm.

― muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 04:18 (fifteen years ago)

ITT: Tell Christmas to fuck off

― If it cannot be notated, then there is no nute. (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 05:23 (fifteen years ago)

bump twice

― chortlin acoleuthic (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 16:37 (fifteen years ago)

I need to travel to the other side of the world to get laid. How's about THAT folks

― schlomo replay (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 16:38 (fifteen years ago)

*checks antipodean states that dont have internet*

― chortlin acoleuthic (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 16:45 (fifteen years ago)

~prospects have changed~

― kanellos (gbx), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 16:46 (fifteen years ago)

:o

― lolol ferrari (corey), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 16:48 (fifteen years ago)

A challenger appears!

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 18:16 (fifteen years ago)

Havent had mine yet. Only difference between now and any other time of the year for me would be instead of it being simple "a miracle" it will be "a christmas miracle".

― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 14 December 2010 18:34 (fifteen years ago)

Gonna have mine in a boat!

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 15 December 2010 13:50 (fifteen years ago)

your what?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:08 (fifteen years ago)

Indeed.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:11 (fifteen years ago)

i had a v nice dream involving such a christmas miracle celebrating the birth of santa with my boy parts and a ladies vagina. but alas...

― irish xmas caek, get that marzipan inta ya (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:13 (fifteen years ago)

tuomas taking a love boat ride on the santa pimpa

― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:36 (fifteen years ago)

http://urbandiner.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/isaac-265x300.jpg

― Let me explore your musky garden. (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:52 (fifteen years ago)

Close, but the boat looks more like this:

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/3191/gabriellanormal.jpg

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:56 (fifteen years ago)

this is going to kill me: some tv show or film where the solution to a murder was to do with the line 'never fuck in a boat'

― ohhhh we plop champagne (history mayne), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 14:57 (fifteen years ago)

xp is the name of the boat a self-zing or

― ITV2: Jimlectric Beglinoo (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 15:01 (fifteen years ago)

used the old viking line, i love it

― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Wednesday, 15 December 2010 15:03 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

well?

― get it on smang a gong (Eisbaer), Monday, 24 December 2012 00:46 (thirteen years ago)

jesus, completely forgot about it til now

― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Monday, 24 December 2012 01:03 (thirteen years ago)

don't know, haven't shook my presents

― Captain Humberbantz (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 December 2012 01:06 (thirteen years ago)

red wings

― buzza, Monday, 24 December 2012 01:48 (thirteen years ago)

i saw mommy kissing santa claus
underneath the waist last night

― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Monday, 24 December 2012 01:51 (thirteen years ago)

Think I could've got it tonight, but would've been from an ex and it kind of felt wrong.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Monday, 24 December 2012 02:01 (thirteen years ago)

why dyou think it's called exmas

― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Monday, 24 December 2012 02:01 (thirteen years ago)

mutually assured sex

― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Monday, 24 December 2012 02:01 (thirteen years ago)

I've had part one of three

― give me back my 200 dollars (NotEnough), Monday, 24 December 2012 09:33 (thirteen years ago)

christmas sex trilogy?

― These are my every day balloons (Ste), Monday, 24 December 2012 09:44 (thirteen years ago)

the difficult 'middle fuck'

― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Monday, 24 December 2012 10:52 (thirteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

in keeping w/ the spirit of this thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6AAp_WCFPY

― spread to fuck the fruit (Eisbaer), Sunday, 15 December 2013 16:48 (twelve years ago)

^>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Santa Baby

― UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Sunday, 15 December 2013 17:12 (twelve years ago)

feel like hitting "play" on that one would be redundant

― combination hair (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 15 December 2013 18:34 (twelve years ago)

Early ask

― Bigsam: flotsam and jetsam @ whetsam? (darraghmac), Sunday, 15 December 2013 18:36 (twelve years ago)

My flatmate teaches that woman's daughter. True story.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Sunday, 15 December 2013 20:44 (twelve years ago)

oh my dear lord

there

there are no words

― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:21 (twelve years ago)

It's Four Minutes 41 seconds!

― Mark G, Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:30 (twelve years ago)

My flatmate teaches that woman's daughter. True story.

so she's a real female, not a tranny?!? i was wondering.

― spread to fuck the fruit (Eisbaer), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:38 (twelve years ago)

omg shitty-keyboard God Save The Queen

― veneer timber (imago), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:38 (twelve years ago)

I was wondering too, Eisbaer.

Also, um, her other songs?

― Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:40 (twelve years ago)

omg her songs are on Spotify!

[url=https://play.spotify.com/album/3QVNkCGAA2p4mTXBaSKX4L>;Majela Zeze Diamond[/url]

― spread to fuck the fruit (Eisbaer), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:43 (twelve years ago)

the video of her lining up for the X Factor auditions is worth a view too. Not sure if she's London Realness, Real England or the bold flame of feminist priapism

― veneer timber (imago), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:45 (twelve years ago)

they only just added Led Zeppelin to Spotify; the Beatles and AC/DC aren't on it yet ... but "Father Christmas Fucked My Pussy" and the rest of her oeuvre is on it.

― spread to fuck the fruit (Eisbaer), Sunday, 15 December 2013 21:54 (twelve years ago)

looking at her Spotify page I'd say the most appropriate place to take this would probably be Cockroach News of Cockroach England

― veneer timber (imago), Monday, 16 December 2013 00:35 (twelve years ago)

?

― Tusk is entirely responsible for my lifelong love of charlie (electricsound), Wednesday, 25 December 2013 04:01 (twelve years ago)

...

― mitch hedberg and kevin hart (sleepingbag), Wednesday, 25 December 2013 04:04 (twelve years ago)

... yes

― mitch hedberg and kevin hart (sleepingbag), Wednesday, 25 December 2013 08:03 (twelve years ago)

first one in like a bunch of years -_-

― mitch hedberg and kevin hart (sleepingbag), Wednesday, 25 December 2013 08:07 (twelve years ago)

eleven months pass...

bump

― goole, Tuesday, 23 December 2014 21:52 (eleven years ago)

hell ya bump

― local eire man (darraghmac), Wednesday, 24 December 2014 00:29 (eleven years ago)

jump

― Mark G, Wednesday, 24 December 2014 17:05 (eleven years ago)

I know it's been two years, but surely people haven't forgotten the Dreadful Cunnilingus Story already!
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, December 18, 2003 11:10 AM (11 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"This page is not available"

― RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Wednesday, 24 December 2014 18:10 (eleven years ago)

Jan 2 counts, right? He had a temporary crown on, so i didnt get everything, but it was fine.

― touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 January 2015 21:40 (eleven years ago)

Tell us everything!

― fgti, Friday, 2 January 2015 21:50 (eleven years ago)

13th Day of Christmas

― bit of a singles monster (Eazy), Friday, 2 January 2015 21:54 (eleven years ago)

maybe on TMI :)

― touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 3 January 2015 04:28 (eleven years ago)

http://www.thegiant.org/wiki/images/thumb/1/19/Burger_King.jpg/224px-Burger_King.jpg

― j., Saturday, 3 January 2015 04:59 (eleven years ago)

chanukkah fux more plentiful

― mister brevis (clouds), Saturday, 3 January 2015 05:05 (eleven years ago)

eleven months pass...

It's a bit of a boorish question, but ....

― quixotic yet visceral (Bob Six), Thursday, 24 December 2015 00:11 (ten years ago)

How far back would count

― darraghmac, Thursday, 24 December 2015 00:16 (ten years ago)

http://www.magnetmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Wham.jpg

― quixotic yet visceral (Bob Six), Thursday, 24 December 2015 01:09 (ten years ago)

bring back horny

― miss me belial (crüt), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:06 (ten years ago)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tWRrlOLFcpQ/TvI5K5Iu7rI/AAAAAAAAAQo/aSZJeJxlDtM/s1600/R-1016564-1247378222.jpeg

― 50 Shades of Santa (Sanpaku), Thursday, 24 December 2015 04:44 (ten years ago)

.

― Mark G, Thursday, 24 December 2015 10:44 (ten years ago)

in the can, folx.

― chaki, Tuesday, December 25, 2007 4:37 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― gr8080, Thursday, 24 December 2015 22:17 (ten years ago)

one of my sons was born on october 1st just sayin

― i got a really big steen, and they need some really big zings (some dude), Friday, 25 December 2015 03:06 (ten years ago)

keri
‏@kerihw

Merry Christmas from all the lads at Radiohead!

― xyzzzz__, Friday, 25 December 2015 12:51 (ten years ago)

*wink*

― Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Friday, 25 December 2015 14:48 (ten years ago)

might have another one, but

― Mark G, Friday, 25 December 2015 14:51 (ten years ago)

Jeez exactly how good were u this year

― The difficult earlier reichs (darraghmac), Friday, 25 December 2015 15:30 (ten years ago)

ach, you know me..

― Mark G, Friday, 25 December 2015 17:26 (ten years ago)

probably been 10 years

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 25 December 2015 17:36 (ten years ago)

early December cold back (thx niece), probably enough to kill my Christmas fuck.

― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 29 December 2015 15:19 (ten years ago)

my nephews gave me a cold over thanksgiving that i'm still not quite done with

― gr8080, Tuesday, 29 December 2015 18:39 (ten years ago)

eleven months pass...

There's still time

― JoeStork, Monday, 26 December 2016 04:26 (nine years ago)

lol i had mine early this year!

― surm, Monday, 26 December 2016 22:27 (nine years ago)

everybody in this house has been sick for weeks and will remain sick. there will be no Christmas fuck.

― though she denies it to the press, (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 00:05 (nine years ago)

were hosting everyone but the voucher is good til friday night is my understanding

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 00:31 (nine years ago)

That'd mean i could go for seconds, thirds or even fourths

Cheers for that holiday vibe dmac

Xmas day ~1pm public parking lot btw

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 00:59 (nine years ago)

Have you had your Christmas fuck yet? [Started by horny in December 2002, last updated nine minutes ago by F♯ A♯ (∞) on I Love Everything] 5 new answers

so not gonna happen [Started by RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak) in January 2006, last updated eleven minutes ago by mh 😏 on I Love Everything] 12 new answers

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 01:08 (nine years ago)

uh id like to make clear that i have not nor would not send anyone on or offve ilx a christmas themed sex toy

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 01:10 (nine years ago)

Lol

Vibes as in good vibrations not vibrators

U dog u

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 27 December 2016 03:18 (nine years ago)

Xmas day ~1pm public parking lot btw

I raise my glass to you

― though she denies it to the press, (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Wednesday, 28 December 2016 23:16 (nine years ago)

cheers chachi

#2 today

tryin for a hat trick

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 28 December 2016 23:21 (nine years ago)

I may get a post-Christmas snog.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 28 December 2016 23:22 (nine years ago)

yah definitely NY

― surm, Wednesday, 28 December 2016 23:39 (nine years ago)

were ye on tenterhooks cos

― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Thursday, 5 January 2017 23:26 (nine years ago)

https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2015/12/19/635860951782131446-855937_tumblr_mf5yx74hSR1qmt85zo1_500.gif

― MY MUTANT BRAIN WILL DETECT TREACHERY! (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 5 January 2017 23:31 (nine years ago)

theyre still hung up on 2016

― F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 5 January 2017 23:43 (nine years ago)

eleven months pass...

ladies and gentlemen i cordially invite ye to the annual ilx xmas copulation competition

please be respectful to others and consensual

allow for one week to "get the juices flowing," so to speak, and prepare any which way you deems necessary

for the eager beaver, please note: let the sweet love making begin 24 december 2018 because that is the day many of us wait for the birth of baby jesus

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 20:47 (eight years ago)

I see that Raymond was trying to read about the Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident a few years ago, which can be found here: did you leave town? or did you stay?

happy holidays

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Thursday, 14 December 2017 20:53 (eight years ago)

my wife getting a full hysterectomy on 22 December. Santa will have to come early, so to speak.

― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:04 (eight years ago)

all the best to the wife dandy

good vibes to you guys~

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:22 (eight years ago)

“Started by horny in December 2002,”

― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:28 (eight years ago)

we've always assumed horny did have his christmas fuck but what if he was alone? what if his christmas stocking was put to another, sadder use that day?

― omar little, Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:31 (eight years ago)

nice

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:32 (eight years ago)

Thanks, it's not really the Christmas we were hoping for but it's better than the alternative.

BTW, I don't know if it's been mentioned upthread but the annual sex after putting the kids to bed and putting presents under the tree is a great tradition.

And so is this thread.

― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:41 (eight years ago)

best of luck to you and your wife, DDW!

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:44 (eight years ago)

er, re the hysterectomy, not the christmas fuck

― Embalming is a flirty business (DJP), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:46 (eight years ago)

^grinch

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 14 December 2017 22:53 (eight years ago)

lol dan thanks

Maybe if I show her this thread we can have the seven days of Xmas fucking?

I have a friend who, about ten years ago, made a pact with his wife to have sex at every holiday party that they attended in the month of December. You can imagine the furtive dirtiness of that quest.

They went 6 out of 7, which I thought was a pretty strong showing considering the number of bathroom and coatroom quickies that they pulled off.

― Lyudmila Pavlichenko (dandydonweiner), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:00 (eight years ago)

haven't had any play for 11 years now, bout to make it 12. Joseph got more action

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:15 (eight years ago)

dandy don that pact sounds splendid

― infinity (∞), Thursday, 14 December 2017 23:37 (eight years ago)

one year passes...

'tis the season...

― Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 24 December 2018 22:21 (seven years ago)

to be fuckin’

― H00kup with Jaundice Singles!! (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 24 December 2018 22:25 (seven years ago)

Christmas present! pic.twitter.com/vVYE8Tsovr

— Andrew Adonis (@Andrew_Adonis) December 25, 2018

Andrew Adonis obviously has.

― calzino, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 10:16 (seven years ago)

Once, because we thought we wouldn't get time, Christmas being a crazy time etc.

And The next day, because we were wrong about that..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 13:13 (seven years ago)

Bf asked if I’d ever had sex in my parents house since moving out and the answer is definitely not

― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 25 December 2018 16:48 (seven years ago)

two years pass...

*ahem*

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 25 December 2020 14:00 (five years ago)

*plop*

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Friday, 25 December 2020 15:24 (five years ago)

^the og plopper has logged on

― ||||||||, Friday, 25 December 2020 15:28 (five years ago)

Specific user horny

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:03 (five years ago)

and so this is Christmas
and what have you done
another year older
your finger in your bum

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:04 (five years ago)

and so this is Christmas
I hope you have cum
The barely legal ones
The milfs and the hung

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 18:43 (five years ago)

two years pass...

mind your business

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:05 (two years ago)

By getting busy

― Evan, Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:27 (two years ago)

with the fizzy

― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:11 (two years ago)

it is just me and this champagne bottle here after all

― imago, Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:12 (two years ago)

Christmas is a serious time for quiet contemplation and reflection.

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:48 (two years ago)

I can’t wait

― H.P, Sunday, 24 December 2023 23:48 (two years ago)

god dammit now i'm thinking about last christmas, that was nice

this christmas eve i've been visited by three ghosts so far

still waiting for that bastard clyde to show up

― Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 25 December 2023 01:12 (two years ago)

^^^^took me a few minutes, but I got it, excellent work Kate

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 25 December 2023 02:18 (two years ago)

eleven months pass...

?

― c u (crüt), Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:38 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one

― DJP, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:43 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one

― DJP, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:43 (one year ago)

a rare year where your hanukkah fuck & your christmas fuck can happen simultaneously

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:50 (one year ago)

Yep, now my phone bill's gonna be huge

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 24 December 2024 21:53 (one year ago)

lol

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 24 December 2024 22:02 (one year ago)

Imagine only having one

― DJP

quality, not quantity

Yep, now my phone bill's gonna be huge

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal)

you know, you coulda saved a lot of money by using 10-10-321

― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 25 December 2024 02:50 (one year ago)

Gold, fuckincense, and myrrh

― meow mix-a-lot (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 25 December 2024 04:18 (one year ago)

we've always assumed horny did have his christmas fuck but what if he was alone? what if his christmas stocking was put to another, sadder use that day?


Lol … so last week I went to a holiday party for a partner org, and one of the leaders of that org several years ago told a friend of mine how she was going through her husband’s sock drawer and found a sock that was “full.” I was really preparing myself to not make any jokes or references to socks … but the husband was a no-show and mercifully I didn’t have to talk to the leader/wife either.

― sarahell, Wednesday, 25 December 2024 04:31 (one year ago)

one year passes...

well?

― Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 25 December 2025 07:02 (five months ago)

Hell yeah

― frogbs, Thursday, 25 December 2025 07:57 (five months ago)

Check

― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 25 December 2025 08:55 (five months ago)

what's the allowable date range to qualify here

― Wichita Referee's Assistant (darraghmac), Thursday, 25 December 2025 10:22 (five months ago)

10 years

― c u (crüt), Thursday, 25 December 2025 13:25 (five months ago)

jeez don't make me do the maths

― Parallel Heinz (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 25 December 2025 13:26 (five months ago)

Have you had your Chinese food yet?

― Josefa, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:02 (five months ago)

That should've gone in the "misread" thread, but what the hell, I ask all of you

― Josefa, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:08 (five months ago)

Sadly no. Made the family some great Korean side dishes tho.

― a ZX spectrum is haunting Europe (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:22 (five months ago)

pending

― our beloved RIFF LORD (DJP), Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:36 (five months ago)

santa came down the chimney last night

― map, Thursday, 25 December 2025 14:46 (five months ago)

my family is having our traditional Indian curry for Christmas dinner so tonight might not be a good time to try

― Modollno Kahn (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 25 December 2025 19:38 (five months ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.
Site New Answers Search Boards ILM ILE Answers New Question New Questions New Poll Blog View Register Login