RIP Rudy Giuliani

Not really

there it is

https://media3.giphy.com/media/3oEjHNjsuPs9F6r6Ks/giphy.gif

What will America do without its mayor, never forget

It's really too bad that rampant shamelessness is robbing us of the Budd Dwyer Mk II this era would have otherwise surely coughed up by now. Rudy seems like a guy who'd do it just to prove a point.

he's been one of the weirdest elements of the whole trump saga. a former mayor of new york should have more self-respect than this.

Someone tell that to John Lindsay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drDBEtyQaj8

Wow. Here's Rudy Giuliani throwing the State Department under the bus and saying State officials called him and asked him to get involved in Ukraine. pic.twitter.com/HIhQDmhzjh

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 25, 2019

it's really weird

why would the state department ask the president's personal attorney to do diplomatic work?

because giuliani doesn't want to say that trump asked him to do it and the state department was simply told to cooperate with him.

the funny part is Twitter ppl acting like he wasn't always a giant piece of shit

how dare u, this hero of america is the reason there was no 9/12

The best part of that clip is even though its Fox, the anchor is all "hang on no pls stop talking u are digging a big hole here k thanks shut up"

(or perhaps BECAUSE its Fox, who kno)

maybe, someday

“Shut up, moron. Shut up. Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” pic.twitter.com/RHVoG0w7vl

— Christopher Cadelago (@ccadelago) September 25, 2019

Rarely am I in the course of a day convinced someone will go to jail. The last time was Cohen, I guess.

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) October 11, 2019

I would never say, for example, that it’s well-known everywhere above 59th St. on the East Side that he’s a fall-down lush. That would be irresponsible. https://t.co/iMsIQ1g4VA

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) December 24, 2019

https://www.reddit.com/r/nyc/comments/jboel9/our_wonderful_exmayor_rudy_giuliani_accidentally/

uh, def not clicking a link from reddit that warns me of 18+ content

it's a video of Rudy mimicking an Asian accent not sure why the 18+ warning

It's fairly impressive that he's able to slip some semi-coherent racism in while recursively babbling like a toddler that's just beginning to experiment with spoken language.

he seems out of his mind in that video. he's surrounded by helpers who are trying to get him to do anything useful. he spends 30 seconds muttering the same things to himself, just basically talking to himself, rapid-fire.

He seems how people are often depicted in pop culture as being on speed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf3e1F1a0Hg

remember that movie Spun, which was trying to be the meth version of requiem for a dream? haven't seen it in forever, but i think giuliani reminds me of that

https://y.yarn.co/f65fe056-1d4a-4a0a-bd19-a6b28ff9825e_text_hi.gif

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/giuliani-biden-ukraine-russian-disinformation/2020/10/15/43158900-0ef5-11eb-b1e8-16b59b92b36d_story.html

U.S. intelligence agencies warned the White House last year that President Trump’s personal lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani was the target of an influence operation by Russian intelligence, according to four former officials familiar with the matter.

The warnings were based on multiple sources, including intercepted communications, that showed Giuliani was interacting with people tied to Russian intelligence during a December 2019 trip to Ukraine, where he was gathering information that he thought would expose corrupt acts by former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter.

The intelligence raised concerns that Giuliani was being used to feed Russian misinformation to the president, the former officials said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive information and conversations.

The warnings to the White House, which have not been previously reported, led national security adviser Robert O’Brien to caution Trump in a private conversation that any information Giuliani brought back from Ukraine should be considered contaminated by Russia, one of the former officials said.

The message was, “Do what you want to do, but your friend Rudy has been worked by Russian assets in Ukraine,” this person said. Officials wanted “to protect the president from coming out and saying something stupid,” particularly since he was facing impeachment over his own efforts to strong-arm Ukraine’s president into investigating the Bidens.

But O’Brien emerged from the meeting uncertain whether he had gotten through to the president. Trump had “shrugged his shoulders” at O’Brien’s warning, the former official said, and dismissed concern about his lawyer’s activities by saying, “That’s Rudy.”

Hmmm…

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/21/rudy-giuliani-faces-questions-after-compromising-scene-in-new-borat-film

In the film, released on Friday, the former New York mayor and current personal attorney to Donald Trump is seen reaching into his trousers and apparently touching his genitals while reclining on a bed in the presence of the actor playing Borat’s daughter, who is posing as a TV journalist.

Following an obsequious interview for a fake conservative news programme, the pair retreat at her suggestion for a drink to the bedroom of a hotel suite, which is rigged with concealed cameras.

After she removes his microphone, Giuliani, 76, can be seen lying back on the bed, fiddling with his untucked shirt and reaching into his trousers. They are then interrupted by Borat who runs in and says: “She’s 15. She’s too old for you.”

holy shit

loooool yikes

ew

Incredible. Total scumbag for years but increasingly dumb and reckless behavior tends to make me think the stories about his drinking are accurate.

haha wow

oh boy

but he definitely keeps all of trump's secrets when he travels to eastern europe and meets with people in real life to try to dig up dirt on the bidens

Hey, everyone, that's America's Mayor you're disparaging. Let's show him some respect.

Looking forward to QAnon's response.

My wife saw Giuliani speak at least 10 years ago at an industry/organization luncheon. It was your pretty typical speech until he started talking about how he "solved" the NY homeless problem. He went on to brag without any self-awareness of how they would tell a homeless person to move on and if they came back the next night and the homeless person was still there they would light all of the homeless person's belongings on fire. My wife said the luncheon pretty much went silent with everyone kind of looking uncomfortably at each other.

It's almost amazing when you think about how much unearned goodwill he had thrown at him after 9/11 and just how thoroughly and completely he's wasted every single ounce of it.

idk seems to me like he doesn't let a single ounce go to waste

xpost You say 'wasted', I say 'set on fire like a homeless person's possessions', let's call the whole thing off.

Every paragraph in that article is overflowing with gold!

“This guy comes running in, wearing a crazy, what I would say was a pink transgender outfit,” Giuliani told the New York Post. “It was a pink bikini, with lace, underneath a translucent mesh top, it looked absurd. He had the beard, bare legs, and wasn’t what I would call distractingly attractive.

“This person comes in yelling and screaming, and I thought this must be a scam or a shakedown, so I reported it to the police. He then ran away,” Giuliani said. The police found no crime had been committed.

Giuliani continued: “I only later realised it must have been Sacha Baron Cohen. I thought about all the people he previously fooled and I felt good about myself because he didn’t get me.”

He also agrees – in theory at least – to eat a bat with his interviewer.

Bakalova, 24, is highly plausible in the sting, despite also having to pretend, for the benefit of viewers, to be a feral child posing as a far-right journalist.

Ah, the perfect voice for the moment.

I’ve seen the Giuliani moment in Borat 2. It’s even wilder than it sounds. Beyond cringe.

— Maureen Dowd (@maureendowd) October 21, 2020

Oh dear.

rudy will see your zoom dick and raise you a gloom dick pic.twitter.com/IXFMJWmxB5

— kilgore trout, a crushed algorithm (@KT_So_It_Goes) October 21, 2020

Here's a still from Borat's Giuliani scene. You can thank me later. pic.twitter.com/0gJvLeSrds

— Nikora (@MoaVideos) October 21, 2020

so did the "journalist" say she was underage or was presenting herself in such a way as to make her seem blatantly underage? i'm confused by that bit. obviously if Rudy had very good reason to believe she was underage then that adds a whole thick layer of fucked-up to this story

dowd trailed what i assume is this incident in her interview with cohen:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/17/style/sacha-baron-cohen-maureen-dowd-interview.html

There’s a scene with a top Trump adviser in “Borat Subsequent Movie Film: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (premiering on Oct. 23 on Amazon) that will leave you gobsmacked.

this has been a good week for gross dick

xxp I was confused by that, too. From the Guardian article: "Bakalova, 24, is highly plausible in the sting, despite also having to pretend, for the benefit of viewers, to be a feral child posing as a far-right journalist."

If she was posing as a journalist, I don't see why Giuliani would have reason to assume she was underage. But I don't get the feral child part.

I wish I had the Blade Runner photo zoomer to look around the room a little.

right, there's a definite gap between "married (?) guy trying to bang journalist" and "married guy trying to bang what he thinks is an underage girl"

Oh look, we're already into excusing the idea of Giuliani sexually harassing a woman phase of the thread, for fuck's sake.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2d/28/0e/2d280e161ce20f0122656c797127f0e4.jpg

It's not excusing, is it? It's just acknowledging just a sliding scale of wrong. All murder is wrong but we still classify it by degrees.

i'm sorry, i didn't parse every detail of this story yet, man.

jeez get on it

It's not excusing, is it? It's just acknowledging just a sliding scale of wrong. All murder is wrong but we still classify it by degrees.

Sure, but imo it's fucking gross to write this off as "old guy trying to bang journalist". Ffs he's not awkwardly propositioning her via email or at a bar, he's groping himself in a private room, which is way more intimidating, gross and awful.

Fair enough.

Basically I just want to make sure no one excuses this steaming pile for any reason at all and I hope he gets every ounce of fallout from this he deserves.

my understanding was that there was some implied consent, she was elaborately removing his microphone in a private room they went to, the issue was less about harassment and more about giuliani being a complete sleazebag but i guess we'll all just have to see the film! (i will never see the film and am already getting kinda bored with this story tbh)

I’m intrigued by the “feral child” part. Sure sounds like she was presenting herself as a kid!

the impression i got was that she was coming on to him but maybe that's just me wrongly assuming this was some kind of classic honeypot operation and not something way more shitty

This incident pretty much cements my belief that kompromat exists for a number of these Trumpian fuckos. If someone in that position displayed the lack of judgment to get got by SBC, it stands to reason they probably got got by people who aren't international celebrities.

yeah i had 0% interest in watching the Borat movie and that number has not moved. to be fair, if the whole movie was shit like this then i probably would be down for it but my impression from the trailer was that at least 80% of it is him going around and making unsophisticated small-town folks look like idiots.

your sophistication level has little to nothing to do with your capacity to be an idiot

thank you that was EXACTLY the point i was trying to make

I'm just saying, as someone who ran screaming from a small town I have very little sympathy for anyone flaunting their racism/sexism in what they think is a safe space

I got a short clip of that scene:

https://media.giphy.com/media/FqKjtMCOAqEUw/giphy.gif

As someone who grew up in several shitty small towns, DJP very very much otm and fuck small town racists forever.

I mean obvs all of them, everywhere. But especially small town ones that assume everyone thinks like them and that their shitty little towns are exceptional bubbles.

to be clear, fuck racists/sexists from big cities, too

no one gets special dispensation because of their area code

we got chodes
in different area codes

Nothing like the small-town racist who, with a smirk and maybe a little knowing side-eye, slyly drops a racist comment into an otherwise ordinary conversation, never questioning that you might not be a hateful idiot like them. Perhaps with an added 'you know what I mean' or 'you know who I'm talking about'. Nothing like it.

right, there's a definite gap between "married (?) guy trying to bang journalist" and "married guy trying to bang what he thinks is an underage girl"

― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Wednesday, October 21, 2020 12:44 PM (one hour ago)

there are also differences between a 76-year-old man trying to sleep with someone else who is in their 70s, someone in their 40s, someone in their 30s, someone in their 20s, and someone portraying a 15-year-old in a film

Nothing like the small-town racist who, with a smirk and maybe a little knowing side-eye, slyly drops a racist comment into an otherwise ordinary conversation, never questioning that you might not be a hateful idiot like them. Perhaps with an added 'you know what I mean' or 'you know who I'm talking about'. Nothing like it.

this. still fucking happens when I go back to visit my family.

pic.twitter.com/kgw3Ctt37J

— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) October 21, 2020

Genius

Rudy seems to have learned his lesson, is tightening protocols, checking ID's, and is now being taken in by someone claiming to be Ivanka Trump but who is in fact the vice president of the College Democrats of Indiana https://t.co/Tv27pygxbu

— David Freedlander (@freedlander) October 21, 2020

I saw something about him replying to anyone who texts him the other day, but this is too much. How the fuck is this guy real?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tun92VU2OkU
this Brazilian smash provides ready-made raw parody material

isnt he literally the head of a cybersecurity firm?

i didn't think borat would enter onto the stage of history again

isnt he literally the head of a cybersecurity firm?

He was the US government's cybersecurity czar:

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article126490159.html
https://mashable.com/article/rudy-giuliani-locked-iphone-password-apple-store/

I was confused by that, too. From the Guardian article: "Bakalova, 24, is highly plausible in the sting, despite also having to pretend, for the benefit of viewers, to be a feral child posing as a far-right journalist."

If she was posing as a journalist, I don't see why Giuliani would have reason to assume she was underage. But I don't get the feral child part.

For the benefit of viewers. She isn't going to have told Giuliani that she is the underage child-bride / daughter of fictional character Borat during the interview, but the audience will have seen earlier parts of the film before this scene, and be reading her performance in context.

(Saw her and Borat's Kimmel appearance on youtube last night, and a minute or two after she entered was impressed enough by her commitment to try and look up the actress - Baron-Cohen has attempted extra obfuscation by crediting a fictional actress with no credits, so it's a shame this Giuliani story has blown kayfabe.)

from the Hollywood Reporter review:

(Editing is a major distraction in the film's ballyhooed scene with Rudy Giuliani. The shaping of the sequence and its music, in service to the film's overall plot, suggest the disgraced former mayor is trying to seduce a young woman who interviews him. But it looks like some microphone-fitting footage is being repurposed here, and if you really want to make the man look like an ass, you could just play his interview straight

Oh what?

that's not at all what Vanity Fair said. wouldn't put it past Borat but the description I read in VF very much didn't sound like "lol clever editing made him look like a lecher"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ek3ofgRU0AAebjP?format=png&name=900x900

'It's not what it looks like!'

damn I was really hoping this movie would definitively prove rudy giuliani is a bad person

Lame on the part of SBC

I saw some post from someone that has seen the scene, saying the still is misleading. Supposedly she had just helped him remove his microphone, and he is merely tucking his shirt back in. To which I say, so what? Nothing else in the situation makes him seem any less gross.

He’s a monster. But manipulating footage like this only adds to Trumpland’s claim that the “fake news” is always setting them up.

lmao come on

Lame on the part of SBC

I think I prefer Rudy Giuliani to Sacha Baron Cohen tbh.

SBC isn't the one releasing these stills

Cohen isn't even *real* fake news. It's not like Trump falling for the Bumblebee Star or whatever the other day. Setting people up is literally what Cohen does and ... mission accomplished.

you're taking one sentence from Hollywood Reporter at face value when so far they're the only one to suggest it was clever editing?

none of us have seen the actual scene, just the stills.

xxxpost

"The Stills" is what Rudy's friends call it when they think he is dead and have to poke him with a stick, like a possum.

I mean they go back there after she suggests they get a drink and he lies on a fuckin' bed, like...unless that was done out of order too, not yet buying HR's take

besides, this isn't taking RG down, half of America is looking at the stills and creepily saying "niiiiice".

He’s a monster. But manipulating footage like this only adds to Trumpland’s claim that the “fake news” is always setting them up.

― treeship., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 3:14 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i missed the part where SBC was a journalist and not middlebrow punk'd

someone bring up the Cokie the Clown vid now

Is punk’d highbrow?

highbr'w

lol

supposedly he patted her backside as well from someone who saw it at the Guardian

treeship'd

fixed this from wayyy upthread:

U.S. intelligence agencies warned the White House last year that President Trump’s personal lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani was the target of an influence operation by Russian Khazakhistanian intelligence, according to four former officials familiar with the matter.

lol this guy doesn't quit

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/10/21/rudy-giuliani-gives-alleged-hunter-biden-laptop-authorities/6005040002/

(1) The Borat video is a complete fabrication. I was tucking in my shirt after taking off the recording equipment.

At no time before, during, or after the interview was I ever inappropriate. If Sacha Baron Cohen implies otherwise he is a stone-cold liar.

— Rudy W. Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) October 21, 2020

gotta post your way out of it

Rowdy Rudy's in the doghouse

dog...... house

Good to know Rudy is preparing some much bigger dumps.

On Oct. 14, Delaware computer repairman John Paul Mac Isaac claimed that in April 2019, a man who identified himself as Hunter Biden brought a liquid-damaged MacBook Pro to his small repair shop.

This is the first time I've paid any attention to this (stupidest) timeline. They're saying John Paul Mac Isaac, OBE, had the laptop since April of 2019 and it's just coming out now?

Also, did this guy change his legal name to "Mac" or was this a case of of John Smith becoming a blacksmith?

absolutely no way rudy knows how to correctly spell SBC's first name

(i only do because of crosswords)

xxpost he's got dumps like a truck

Or, I guess, maybe his ancestors repaired Mac computers, I don't know.

xxp

what did the Buttram family do

McIsaac/MacIsaac is not an uncommon a name, I'm assuming either he can't spell his own name or the media can't.

Probably the former.

I never came across any MacIsaacs in Scotland but I've met a few in Canada.

sorry what was this thread about again lol

Ok, duh. Probably an Americanization. If I saw McIsaac/MacIsaac I wouldn't have batted an eye.

I never came across any MacIsaacs in Scotland but I've met a few in Canada.

Like Ashley McIsaac. They must have all got shipped out to Canada together.

'Be fruitful and multiply.'

Similarly, the most common French-Canadian last names tend to be quite rare in France.

lol at them having to be like "if you could see these hunter biden emails, oh my goodness, you would not believe this stuff" while everybody is laughing at borat busting in going wawaweewa on rudy playing with himself

— BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) October 22, 2020

Maybe he was reaching into his pants so he could pull out the emails and show them to her

the emails? they don’t call it a laptop for nothing

https://i.imgur.com/8HHpGaU.jpeg

wasn't there a thing about the New World being a dumping ground for Sepahardic jews while columbus and the Spanish king tried to bring around their milllenial agenda to bring around the kingdom of heaven.
So does a MacIsaac fit into that conspiracy or are they 200 years late? Scotland being declared free of jews to bring around its Ku Klux Klan roots scenario?
Or did i just invent a racist conspiracy

i think he is just a guy who owns a laptop store, maaaaaan

I don't believe the McIsaacs are some long lost clan of Judeo-Gaels, no. More likely just some Highlanders driven off their lands and forced to go to Canada (you decide what's worse).

there can only be one

this thread has taken some weird turns

aybe he was reaching into his pants so he could pull out the emails and show them to her

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 22 October 2020 03:35 (twelve hours ago) link

the emails? they don’t call it a laptop for nothing

― Welcome to Nonrock (breastcrawl), Thursday, 22 October 2020 13:15 (two hours ago) link

You know he's the type of old dude who has people print out emails for him

I know I should haven written it as “lap-top” to get my wonderful joke across

The interview is out there, and though he is a giant creep, it's pretty obvious that he was simply tucking the shirt back in. I'm not sure why people go out of their way to make up things about people that are gross enough for legitimate reasons already.

Because fuck those people, that's why.

I mean, I'll refrain from engaging personally, but I don't get hung up on people who live in a world of venomous fiction getting a taste of their own medicine.

How many fake-ass scandals has Rudy tried to whip up or participated in for the sake of smearing others? Eat my fuc, Rudy.

Because fuck those people, that's why

Oh right, I thought this was referring to Sacha Baron Cohen, in which case I was going to agree with you.

Yeah very hard for me to give a shit about Giuliani being unfairly tarnished when his job is basically to unfairly tarnish people with much greater consequence

Always thought the obvious next step for sbc’s career after borat would have been to just do a straight up blackface routine and see if liberals still claimed it as amazing satire as long as he remembered to sometimes cut away to some trailer park rando politely humouring him

yes definitely more important to show our disdain for a comedian than for the president's hit-man

Neither is important

He's not my president.

I'll just say that SBC and Rudy deserve one another. Perhaps they will sign up their lawyers to engage in a cage death match, fueled by shovelfuls of their money, and Rudy will die long before the suit is decided. That would be a good outcome.

rudy's running an active disinformation campaign to smear a presidential candidate. he may suck at it, but it is important

SBC making fun of racism via an antisemetic character is not analogous to SBC making fun of racism via blackface. It is akin to Spike Lee, Damon Wayans, and Tommy Davison making fun of racism via blackface.

I was more referring to the fact that borat is a racist caricature to begin with, not that the caricature happens to be antisemitic

Eastern Europeans are a race now?

Not sure Kazakhstan counts as Eastern Europe tbf.

in that its in Central Asia? and Kazakhs are a turkic people originating in asia?

Kazakhstan is not in Eastern Europe, not that SBC cares, they're all just interchangeable funny foreigners to him.

Pretty much. Then again, part of the point with Borat is that he’s ultimately a composite of Western prejudices about the ex-USSR.

The 'Kazakh' scenes are shot in Romania I think!

Indeed, in a Roma village, to boot.

I think he's more a composite of SBC's prejudices about the ex-USSR.

Ehhh, I don’t know about that.

The TV Borat character was probably a collection of "lol foreigners" micro-tropes that picked his country for the amusing K and Z sounds; the new film uses its fictional version of Kazakhstan as a way to reflect the narrow worldview of Trumpist America.

I guess I'm a little sensitive about all the lies and the gullibility, and by default I want to believe that "they" are always the liars and the gullible and I'm disappointed when that's not the case. I just can't be bothered to ever get invested if almost everything is just some degree of partial truths and fiction but either way you're meant to gobble it up completely if it validates your "side" or puts the other in a bad light. It's exhausting to me.

many xps

Eh, it's exercise for yr critical thinking skills. One of the few 'both sides!'-isms I'll indulge is that people on both sides can definitely be overly-credulous and also engage in bad faith, baseless arguments. It can be exhausting but it also isn't safe in general to assume that people on your side are going to be wholly beholden to the facts.

Rudy’s biographer/lickspittle (and, briefly, a bandmate of mine in the early ‘90s):

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/23/nyregion/ken-kurson-arrest-cyberstalking.html

Yeah, I think I knew that dude from my college days.

Mr. Kurson was also a longtime associate of Rudolph W. Giuliani, Mr. Trump’s personal lawyer, and helped manage his short-lived 2008 presidential campaign. He now runs a media company and works in the cryptocurrency industry.

This sounds like the post-credits update about the villain in a college geeks v. jocks comedy (a la Animal House).

pic.twitter.com/8TgCl39vwT

— Poorly Aged Things (@PoorlyAgedStuff) October 24, 2020

oh my god I missed this pic.twitter.com/OGFzvC80Fy

— Tim Hogan (@timjhogan) November 19, 2020

He'd be better off dead imo

undead though inne?
or is he just channelling Max Schreck

blooming daywalker, used to be quite prestigious i thought.

it's hard to comprehend the abject self-abasement he's engaged in this year, just staggering to see a human being do this to themselves

new board description

lol, cosign

threesign

Everyone in the vortex of Trump seems to be a seriously failed huan being in their last inglorious act on this Earth, and none moreso than Rudy.

The manner in which it was announced is notable in its own right:

.@RudyGiuliani, by far the greatest mayor in the history of NYC, and who has been working tirelessly exposing the most corrupt election (by far!) in the history of the USA, has tested positive for the China Virus. Get better soon Rudy, we will carry on!!!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 6, 2020

Inglorious Vast Turds

did he infect the drunk lady?

Rudy’s fall from grace has been precipitous and unexpected
Also fuck these premature rip threads

sure, start more bar etiquette threads then

(this one was started over a year ago)

I bumped it in tribute to shakey

oh it was totes a good bumpin'

new board description

LOL

(to the tune of 'Dude Looks Like a Lady')

RUUUUDY GOT THE RONA

Also fuck these premature rip threads

Since Trump and Miller recovered, this would be the most satisfying death

A few weeks ago I told a friend what I would like for a birthday present is for Rudy to get it.

Dreams can come true!

happy birthday!

the Borat thing was only SIX WEEKS AGO

Stop your fooling around,
Time to straighten right out.
Better think of your future
Else you'll wind up in jail.

https://news.yahoo.com/rudy-giuliani-ridiculed-publicly-shaving-234601452.html

so you've been publicly shaved

Disbeared

four seasons total manscaping

bothers me that Outic seems to be gone forever

The nation's Nair

I *just*

https://deadline.com/2022/02/rudy-giuliani-the-masked-singer-contestant-judge-ken-jeong-robin-thicke-walk-off-in-protest-1234925291/

I bet Robin would have stayed in his seat if it was Jeffery Epstein. haha such a superficial joke these celebrities are...

— Safety Man Bill (@safetymanbill) February 3, 2022

this would be an incredible tv moment tbf

I knew that show was all about rehabilitation.

All of these celebrity reality shows are PR fluff to either remind the general public that a start is still alive or, more damagingly, to launder the reputation of damaged goods. I can almost guarantee that one (or both!) Cuomos will be on upcoming Dancing with the Stars seasons.

They survived Sarah Palin but Rudy is the bridge too far. Ok.

Well, to be fair, Sarah Palin is your garden variety GOP dipshit, Giuliani was actively involved in the coup attempt so I think there is a defensible difference.

Rudy is an abject lesson in the dangers of sucking up to sociopaths.

honestly you could have just stopped after "abject"

From federal prosecutor who prosecuted the heads of the Five Families, to "America's Mayor," to playing Renfield to Trump's Dracula. It would be tragic if he weren't such an asshole.

https://i.imgur.com/mdX8YHg.gifhttps://i.imgur.com/mdX8YHg.gif
https://i.imgur.com/mdX8YHg.gifhttps://i.imgur.com/mdX8YHg.gif

Might as well be dead after the first few posts of this thread here:

HAPPENING NOW: Rudy Giuliani is back in federal court (on time today) for the second day of his defamation damages trial. We’re likely to see testimony today from Ruby Freeman and/or Shaye Moss as well as their expert who will advocate for a multimillion award.

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) December 12, 2023

The testimony from Shaye Moss was heartbreaking.

He repeated the baseless slanders towards Moss and Freeman outside the court in front of cameras.

HOWELL is incredulous: How could Giuliani's lawyer say Freeman/Moss are "good people" who didn't deserve what happened to them when Rudy is outside the courthouse saying they are criminals. "I’m not sure how it’s reconcilable," Giuliani's lawyer Joe Sibley admits.

I hope he dies broke, homeless and alone.

SIBLEY BEGINS: "My client, as you saw last night, likes to talk a lot unfortunately."

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) December 12, 2023

had he shut his piehole and played the game, he could just be wandering around Times Square doing selfies with tourists and talking about the morning of September 11th for the rest of his life

he blew it

"While drooling Johnny Walker Black."

As career choices flash before his eyes...

SIBLEY: Why don’t you have enough money to repair your reputation?

MOSS: Because your client is still lying on me and ruining my reputation further ... How could you work in law if everyone is saying you’re a horrible lawyer?

SIBLEY: You’d be surprised actually.

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) December 12, 2023

"The testimony from Shaye Moss was heartbreaking."

it's such a compelling testimony, and it's so enraging to see such vulnerable people put in such physical danger by Giuliani and Trump's words. Another horrible villain is that Black Voices For Trump guy who was still doing an intimidation campaign against them on social media until I think he was locked up for it.

So the joy here is that this is Rudy's OWN lawyer saying this as part of closing arguments.

MORE: Sibley repeatedly criticizing Giuliani, comparing him to flat-earthers who will never stop believing election lies, saying he committed an 'injustice' against Moss/Freeman, noting he's almost 80.

"Rudy Giuliani shouldn’t be defined by what’s happened in recent times."

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) December 14, 2023

"My client is a senile old idiot. Pity him?"

Unfrozen caveman lawyer as defendant.

Pity the child who has ambition
Knows what he wants to do
Knows that he'll never fit the system
Others expect him to

Lots of 80 year olds don't have a megaphone to ruin other people's lives.

Even if the damages judgement is fairly modest - say $4 million - Rudy doesn't have any money. And nobody's gonna come bail him out by selling Rudy NFT's

What if they sold actual pieces of Rudy?

take another little piece of his heart now baby

This is my body

his flesh is 90% bourbon

The part of his brain that craves attention seems to be the last part still functioning more or less normally.

He's going to have to live off of the Borat 2 residuals I'm afraid.

all time own goal lol he shouldve been sitting on corporate boards, collecting speaking fees and so forth, even the more normal things he did like have a law firm, weird cyber security company were beneath his station

couldve been doing a pretend job at blackrock

I was thinking about his situation this morning (the local NPR affiliate was covering his case). As a New Yorker, he surely knows that Donald Trump is an utter piece of shit. I think he thought he could leverage proximity to Trump to his own advantage, to continue to get what he obviously needs, which is attention. What he failed to consider is that everyone who comes within the Trump orbit is eventually destroyed.

Of course, it's obvious that he is in mental and physical decline, probably a combination of age and alcohol.

I would feel sorry for him if he weren't such a self-serving asshole.

honestly his post-mayoral arc is almost poetically tragic, culminating not in living a chill life in Manhattan but roaming the hinterlands of the U.S. trying to embarrassingly fight for an extraordinarily dumb and bad guy who probably secretly hates him

i say "almost" because he was obviously always a POS

its still tragic in the classic sense

xpost I watched a little bit of some video testimony last year or so, and honestly he did not seem to be in particular mental decline. I think he is just a huge asshole.

Eh. He appeared in court the other day with his belt undone. More significantly, a lot of his public statements seem confused. He's certainly not as sharp as he was even ten years ago.

He definitely *looks* terrible!

But he is indeed a huge asshole. Always has been. I remember when he announced his candidate for mayor. I was living in New York at the time, and one of my co-workers, who was deeply involved in and passionate about city politics, was outraged. He said Giuliani had nothing to offer the city, he was doing it for his own self-aggrandizement. He wasn't wrong.

*candidacy

was it a....cardboard belt?

I've seen it suggested that his antics yesterday was him making the mistake of thinking that he can get away with acting like Trump outside a courtroom, which of course nobody else in the US can. Also seen it suggested that it was possibly tactical, a rather pathetic attempt to play towards a mistrial.

As for public statements, "confused" is generally the GOP default. That's what happens when most of the stuff you say is bullshit. Like, what would a lucid Trump even sound like? Confusing bluster is his defining trait.

It's too late for that.

(xp)

every day I open this hoping he has died

xp
I figured that would be the case, but you could be forgiven for thinking this guy has never actually practised law before!

https://www.inquirer.com/resizer/TaHsniOMN__bOex4qFITPEXQM2o=/0x0:2312x1540/800x533/filters:format(webp)/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/pmn/LKRYR43WEJE3VOP6ZJDWAE5EF4.jpg

The New York Police Department produced a detailed analysis in 1998 opposing plans by the city to locate its emergency command center at the World Trade Center, but the Giuliani administration overrode those objections. The command center later collapsed from damage in the Sept. 11 terrorist attack.

til the racist bald fuckwit aka "America's Mayor" managed to make the 9/11 emergency response more ineffectual and chaotic, by ignoring good advice.

the title of this thread is finally appropriate

https://x.com/kyledcheney/status/1735771145993953713

THE DECISION:

Defamation
Moss awarded: $16,998,000
Freeman awarded: $16,171,000

Emotional distress
Moss awarded: $20 million
Freeman awarded: $20 million

Punitive damages
Total: $75 million

wow!

Here's how it hurts Joe Biden.

Very cut and dry case, well deserved.

das alotta cash bb

What is Rudy worth these days?

not seventy five million dollars

$75

You can't even go on tv and tell lies that put private citizens in danger these days without the woke mob coming for your loot

Is he really gonna have to pay any of this out though? Or Alex Jones, for that matter? I'd bet that the Goldmans have seen about 400 bucks from OJ after all these years.

he's not cooperated with discovery on his earnings so I guess it's time to take his real estate off him to cover it, then work the rest out in monthly instalments, forever until he dies - love this shit!

he's on TV now still lying

Total damages is $150 million according to CNN.

Maybe he can get a million or two shaved off on appeal.

his lawyers basically wanna yank him off the mike with a cane

OMIGOD he's SHUSHING the press

bringing his pinky rings to the pawnshop

RIP

awesome lawyer talk

“I have no doubt that Mr. Giuiani’s statements caused harm; no question about it,” Sibley said in his closing remarks. “But just because these things happened, it doesn’t make my client responsible for them.”

Hopefully he got paid upfront

gonna have to think that one over

I'm sure there was at least a small part of Rudy that thought the damages number might be $2, or whatever the amount that Trump was awarded in his NFL suit was.

Maybe he forgot that you can't get a pardon for civil suits damages.

he should have done the bravado Sting thing from Quadrophenia.. pull out his checkbook right there in the courtroom

Lawyers will just keep delaying everything and Rudy will probably keep living his lifestyle somewhat until he croaks, but if the world were just the mf'er should have to hand over his house and car keys right there and now. Got to wonder how much of his assets have been moved into other hands in prep for this all happening.

He's not going to pay a dime. No one ever pays a dime, not any of these particular assholes. Trump, Jones, Rudy ...

i feel stupid asking this but like, poor people are basically thrown in jail all the time for legal stuff like unpaid traffic tickets and etc. if these motherfuckers don’t pay damages that they’re supposed to pay, why are they not thrown in jail?

(and i ask this not because i like jail— fire to the prisons— but mostly because i actually just don’t understand this)

(if it’s really just about race and money then that’s what i expect but still)

i mean at some point they do have to pay, like its not true that trump has never paid judgments against him, but hes also wriggled out of a lot of stuff

he's still got millions in property assets and apparently a significant income from podcasts etc for the picking and this is the verdict, I'd rather be them than him at this point.

even if it is pennies to the dollar shit, it's still a victory of sorts. Hopefully all the stress of it causes him to die.

The reason was rich in the first place was that his father put money under his and his siblings names to avoid judgments and whatnot

Calling, I think he already has dyed.

*calzino. Autocorrect besmirched my joke, rather like shoe polish running down the sides of Rudy's face

Giuliani can’t even afford Four Roses now.

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) December 15, 2023

Whomp whomp

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/21/us/politics/rudy-giuliani-bankruptcy.html

Among the amusing followons:

UPDATED. Rudy's spox gave me comment on this story. I followed up and asked if he'd stay on as spox given the cost to keep him. Spox said his work isnt contingent on paycheck. I asked again, are you being paid. He told me now he's "never referred to himself as his spokesman" https://t.co/mfPNvp1cTM

— Brandi Buchman (@Brandi_Buchman) December 21, 2023

Doing it for love

But I won't do that

"The best current estimate is dated, but puts Mr Giuliani's net worth around $50m, with approximately $15m of that from his business activities, including his worth with his Giuliani Partners lobbying group, according to CNN. At the time of the estimate — about 15 years ago — he was earning approximately $17m a year.

But that was more than a decade ago, and a lot has changed for Mr Giuliani. On 21 December, Mr Giuliani filed for bankruptcy."

https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/rudy-giuliani-net-worth-bankrupt-b2468041.html

I hope he dies broke, homeless and alone.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, December 12, 2023 1:05 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

a huge insult to the many people who die broke, homeless and alone every day.

There are very few, if any, of those people on whom I would wish that fate.

Relistening to Blowback S1, was reminded that he was one of the finalists under consideration for "Viceroy" of Iraq after the invasion. What a shit show.

he is thinking "Jesus take the wheel"

does this mean the women who sued him get nothing?

I think they'll be first in line for a bankruptcy court-determined chunk of his current assets, and maybe a piece of whatever he makes on his continuing grifts while he's under Ch.11 reorg?

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:sq4srjwg5noukbywa5stn6ar/bafkreict6524unynkaelo5d7pbpytwahfti4giyvt765s24ld4bk5qjfsq@jpeg

DENIED

you can tell the judge really enjoyed writing that one

A genius at work:

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:qrllvid7s54k4hnwtqxwetrf/bafkreic2du64voypyykfkzr3ytjkadfgnu7jl2nv3qjh6vyc76yzpe5wbu@jpeg

I don't why Ted Bundy didn't try that genius defense strategy

I don't imagine Rudy can afford competent counsel anymore

Saul Goodman

https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/rudy-giuliani-ordered-to-testify-under-oath-in-bankruptcy-proceedings/

oh well this thread title is disappointing

But think of the fun we'd have missed if he'd actually died in 2019.

Sigh

"fun"

Oh come on

FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING

Have you forgotten?

Not to mention his sexual harassment lawsuit quotes

Borat scene

Bankruptcy

Dripping hair gunk

Shaving in dining area

Farting in court

ok it's fun. not the fun we want, but the fun we deserve

It's really hard to believe how hard he's fallen since his halcyon days in the 80s

He was always a shameless attention-seeker, he just crashed and burned when he came within Trump's orbit.

forget the 80s, the 2000s americas mayor, he was mayor of the whole country, because of terrorism

yeah all he had to do once he was done as mayor was chill out and shut up and he'd have been set for life, but trump tempted him to his own self-destruction.

not that he wasn't an absolute piece of shit through and through the entire time obv

Booze and age have clearly taken a toll, also.

judgment, competence, reputation—

one of the greatest, most hilarious, and most notable crashes ever

Hunt3r’s American HistoryTM

https://i.imgur.com/2f0jr00.png

he lived long enough to see himself become the villain its like Shakespeare

i didnt know shakespeare became the villain

watch one movie bro cmon

i might

forget the 80s, the 2000s americas mayor, he was mayor of the whole country, because of terrorism

the guy announced a separation from his wife in a press conference, before telling her. he was always nuts.
https://www.nytimes.com/2000/05/11/nyregion/mayor-s-separation-overview-giuliani-his-wife-16-years-are-separating.html

i didnt know shakespeare became the villain

so good fwiw

and bur yeah, so many things demand re-inspectation really, amirite

That's Giuliani's voodoo: he turns Shakespeare into a villain

Astonished by that Time cover. Did they really superimpose him atop a tower post-9/11? Sometimes I forget how insane and on-the-nose everything was back then.

Yeah I think anyone who wouldn't know Rudy Giuliani pre-trump just has no idea how people responded to him at the time of 9/11, he had it all for a minute

Four Seasons Total Divorce

lol

JUST IN: Judge Howell upholds the jury's defamation verdict against Rudy Giuliani in a 48-page opinion.https://t.co/dso7cRM1wM pic.twitter.com/I5ZHr00HXL

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) April 15, 2024