Robert Pattinson IS The Batman

No, really

A little surprised this is what he's chosen to break his arthouse streak with. But hardly the worst casting ever.

And he's in the forthcoming Christopher Nolan film. COINCEDENCE?!?!?

I hope we finally find out how Batman became Batman.

He killed Christian Bale and then hid for a while.

Best wishes to him

Anyway, what Pattinson should do is play him with an English accent and have Alfred be an American fanboy who puts on a really bad English accent in turn.

If they asked me to be batman i’d do it too

Well then get in there.

Reeves drove the once-promising Apes reboot into the ground so I'm assuming this is gonna suck tbh

finally a movie about batman

sexiest choice since Kilmer

don't at me with Bale, that roid-rager who made his best film first

Would totally watch a movie that is just about Alfred. Like Remains of the Day in Batman's mansion.

starring Ian McShane

Would a tv show do, Josh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-d2lMVeNS8

coming soon

Parker Posey IS Aunt Harriet

R-Battz!

I was just at a bar where both the bartenders recoiled at this news and poured each other a shot to get over it. Dark days in Gotham.

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius) at 5:09 17 May 19

don't at me with Bale, that roid-rager who made his best film first

enh he’s no adam west

BREAKING: apparently nicholas hoult is also a leading contender to wear the cowl

i dunno if he's got the jaw for it tbh

most of the backlash seems to be from people who've only seem him in Twilight but none of the great stuff he's done since....
still, i think a lot of people are just batman'd out and the character needs a break.

Yeah the twilight kids have had such interesting careers since. As with Phoenix the only sensible objection to this casting is that another worthwhile actor is being poached for this shit (should be a brief enough break tho as it’ll have moved on to the next reboot by next year)

this would actually make me somewhat interested in another Batman movie (if it happens)

I should actually watch a Twilight movie one of these days.

still, i think a lot of people are just batman'd out and the character needs a break.

yeah, we've done three grimdark nolan batmen and two grimmerdarker batflecks in the last 15 years, unless they're willing to do something very different it's kinda hard to give much of a shit, not least because the dc cinematic universe has been such a catastrophe

a ridiculous dayglo batman in the style of the aquaman movie would be fun

Zur-En-Arrh or GTFO

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/13/Batman_of_Zur_En_Arrh.jpg/250px-Batman_of_Zur_En_Arrh.jpg

Reeves has been blathering about it having more of a detective angle

Actually the prospect of adapting Morrison's Batman run is probably the only way this could possibly elicit more than a 'meh' from me.

Half-relatedly: should I go see a double-bill of the burton films tomorrow? I can get a free ticket, I like returns quite a bit, have only seen the first one once and don’t remember it at all really

i'd be down for the dayglo one too. i know burton and schumacher were both in their ways riffing on the adam west era, but the world is so much more ready now to just truly do silver-age bats: smiling. sky-blue cowl on light gray tights, fighting absurd gimmick villains and having a ball. in an era of aquaman, not to mention the ant-man films, battle angel, detective pikachu... the world is ready at last for the colorfulness and sincerity of speed racer. maybe hoult is actually in talks to play bat-mite.

They should get Janelle Monae for catwoman. Pattinson may be the only thing that would make another Batman interesting.

the world is ready at last for the colorfulness and sincerity of speed racer

extremely otm - if ever a film was ahead of its time it was poor, misunderstood speed racer

They should get Janelle Monae for catwoman

this is a fucking great idea

wins

yes you should imo

a ridiculous dayglo batman in the style of the aquaman movie would be fun

I loved the Lego Batman movie for just that reason.

yeah i guess i just want a live-action lego batman tbh, c'mon warners do me a solid here

if they adapt Morrison's Batman it should be Spider-Verse style

I'd been joking that the Marvel movies were going to use their recent films to reboot the casting and the ending would be Iron Man taking off his helmet to reveal Robert Pattinson. I was so close!

I'm hoping they're going to give us the All-Star Batman & Robin we deserve

mods, please to rename thraed as ‘what are you, dense? robert pattinson IS the goddamn batman’

Feel like you may have omitted part of that interchange, not sure why...

(I was gonna say that ASS was released in a different time but I'm pretty sure Miller is still comfortably ensconced in that other time.)

oh I think we both know

it’d be too long

the dissonance of seeing steven mnuchin's name plastered over lego batman makes me curious what a janet yellen batman would be like.

Janelle Monae for catwoman

FKA Twigs certainly has the physicality, and could be a package deal with long term beau (?) Pattinson.

They broke up which is how I ended at Janelle Monae.

wins

yes you should imo

I mean 4hr40min obv, 440 minutes would be against the Geneva convention

i am no mans prophet nor master aside from one sharepoint contractor and two helpdesk skivvies

I do what I’m told

if they adapt Morrison's Batman it should be Spider-Verse style

Crisis on Infinite Batmans

godspeed wins

I made it. First one turned into a slog not gonna lie, second one continues to be the actually good capeman film

There was a little back and forth but now fully confirmed:

https://variety.com/2019/film/news/robert-pattinson-batman-1203230054/

he’ll be good, the film will be adequate, roll on the next reboot

The reboot window is narrowing so rapidly that I expect we'll soon see reboots going into production just prior to the release of their predecessors.

I am more annoyed with all the cutesy internet idiots mocking the casting because they think it's still 2010

I'm just waiting for the 2029 "Millie Bobby Brown IS The Batman" thread

We asked our in-house Photoshop artist to whip up an image of Robert Pattinson in the Batman costume and we would like you to know that person has been fired. pic.twitter.com/p9Eul1xiah

— Birth.Movies.Death. (@bmoviesd) May 31, 2019

no that’s what i want

This is me casting my vote for the uncompromising Lisa Frankification of every nerd franchise until all of the toxic cyberchuds have turned their attentions elsewhere.

I want the gimmick to be that Pattinson's first day on the job was with that outfit, but he never washes it, letting the blood of him and his opponents stain the outfit over many years until it's a drab black suit.

so zoe kravitz is catwoman in this, looks like

Hopefully the soundtrack is Lenny covering Prince's.

Paul Dano as the Riddler

seems well short of the Gorshin/Carrey standard

When Pattinson said his Batman is going to be “raw” and “not sanatized” I hope he meant this pic.twitter.com/HurnELPEDM

— m (@jane1snakehole) February 14, 2020

gosh i hope batman kills some people, it's what the oscars want

this batman... will give u salmonella

Andy Serkis as Alfred is the real stumbling block here. Not sure I’ll get past it.

Is he mocapping the role

The technology they have now to create CGI michael caine is so much better than what nolan was using

Is he mocapping the role

Actors have been wearing lime green unitards festooned with ping pong balls since the silent era, it's true.

i don't this we've forensically analysed every stitch on the new batsuit yet, so have at it nerds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHVq0_kF6jY

Filming soon in a necropolis near you

https://www.glasgowist.com/the-batman-begins-filming-in-glasgow-this-weekend/?fbclid=IwAR2-NsBqLic41g2eFGW5qbMIhFYScM-4Xa8sGwuHyIMGeWeLck_qTdUFMpI

amazing location for a batman movie tbf

they make a dc cinematic universe and it takes 9 years to begin filming on a batman movie

rip thicc batman, tragically claimed by the void before we got the chance to see you wheeze around in your own solo movie

Would've been great if they'd gotten someone even older to replace Affleck. Hey, Pesci's out of retirement!

I just completely pulled that one out of my ass but holy cow I would pay quite a lot to see Pesci Batman now.

I would love to see a Batman with a thick regional accent.

ideally a west country one, like dave prowse as darth vader before he got dubbed over

https://www.maxim.com/.image/t_share/MTQ5Mjg1NzkyOTAzMDc5MzY1/larry-cable-guy-main.jpg

BAT-R-RANG

He should reuse his Lighthouse accent. "Oym so tiahd of yoauh gahd damn riddles, Riddlah!"

Y'all are thinking small. What about getting Cronenberg to direct and putting it in the Cosmopolis universe?

hmm, Cosmopolis as the new Batman Begins. I like it.

Robert Pattinson IS...going insane while waiting for filming to resume:

Anyway, the story Pattinson tells to preface what he is about to do is roughly this:

Last year, he says, he had a business idea. What if, he said to himself, “pasta really had the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizzas? I was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market, and I was trying to think: How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?”

He says he went so far as to design a prototype that involved the use of a panini press, and then, he says, he went even further, setting up a meeting with Los Angeles restaurant royalty Lele Massimini, the cofounder of Sugarfish and proprietor of the Santa Monica pasta restaurant Uovo. “And I told him my business plan,” Pattinson recalls, “and his facial expression didn’t even change afterwards. Let alone acknowledge what my plan was. There was absolutely no sign of anything from him, literally. And so it kind of put me off a little bit.” (Massimini says: “It’s 100 percent true, everything he told you.”)

Nevertheless, Pattinson says, he conceived of a brand name for his product, a soft little moniker that kind of summed up what he thought his pasta creation looked like: Piccolini Cuscino. Little Pillow. He thought he’d give the product another go, with me now: “Maybe if I say it in GQ, maybe, like, a partner will just come along.”

So he now takes hold of the bag that he’s brought from the corner store, out of which he produces the following:

One (1) giant, filthy, dust-covered box of cornflakes. (“I went to the shop, and they didn’t sell breadcrumbs. I’m like, ‘Oh, fuck it! I’m just getting cornflakes. That’s basically the same shit.’ ”)

One (1) incredibly large novelty lighter. (“I always liked the idea of doing a little flambé, like the brand name, with kind of burnt ends at the top.”)

Nine (9) packs of presliced cheese. (“I got, like, nine packs of presliced cheese.”)

Sauce. (Like a tomato sauce? “Just any sauce.”)

He puts on latex gloves. He pulls out some sugar and some aluminum foil and makes a bed, a kind of hollowed-out sphere, with the foil. He holds up a box of penne pasta that he had in the house. “All right,” Pattinson says. “So obviously, first things first, you gotta microwave the pasta.”

I watch as he pours dry penne into a cereal bowl, covers it with water, and places it in the microwave for eight minutes. He says using penne is already new territory for him. Usually he uses…well… “Do you know the pasta that’s, like, a little, it’s like a blob, a sort of squiggly blob?”

“Gnocchi?”

“No, no, no, no, it looks like—what would you even call it? It looks like a sort of messy…like, the hair bun on a girl.”

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about,” I say.

“There was one type of pasta that worked. It definitely wasn’t penne.”

Nevertheless, penne and water in the microwave for eight minutes. In the meantime, he takes the foil and he begins dumping sugar on top of it. “I found after a lot of experimentation that you really need to congeal everything in an enormous amount of sugar and cheese.” So after the sugar, he opens his first package of cheese and begins layering slice after slice onto the sugar-foil. Then more sugar: “It really needs a sugar crust.”

Then he realizes that he’s forgotten the outer layer, which is supposed to be breadcrumbs but today will be crushed-up cornflakes, and so he lifts the pile of cheese and sugar and crumbles some cornflakes onto the aluminum foil before placing the sugar-cheese back on top of it. Then he adds sauce, which is red. The microwave dings, and Pattinson promptly burns himself on the bowl of pasta. He sighs, heavily, looking at it. “No idea if it’s cooked or not.” He dumps the pasta in anyway. At this point, his spirits have visibly begun to flag. “I mean, there’s absolutely no chance this is gonna work. Absolutely none.”

The little pillow now mostly built, he pours more sugar on top of it and then produces the top half of a bun, which he hollows out, places it on top of the rest of whatever the hell this thing is, and…begins burning the top of the bun with the giant novelty lighter. “I’m just gonna do the initials.…”

“You look like you’re cooking meth,” I say, because he does.

“I’m really trying to sell this company. I’m doing this for my brand.”

At this point, he accidentally ignites one of his latex gloves, which promptly melts onto his palm. He yells in pain. Then he gingerly holds up the finished product: some approximation of a P, followed by a C, for Piccolini Cuscino, burned into the top of a hamburger bun.

He starts wrapping the whole thing up with more aluminum foil, and then compacts it, and then wraps it some more, and then squeezes it again. Suddenly he stops: “Can you actually put foil in an oven?”

I say yes, you can, but what you absolutely cannot do is put foil in a microwave. And he says cool, cool, and then he goes looking for his oven, which he’s never used before, and this is a nice house, so there are multiple options, and the one he settles on, well: It looks like another microwave to me. He assures me it is not.

“I reckon probably…10 minutes?”

He puts the aluminum sphere, the little pillow, into what he thinks is an oven and I think is a microwave. He attempts to turn it on. “I actually knew how to do this before,” he tells me. “I literally did this yesterday. And now it’s just impossible. It’s going to look like I can’t cook at all.”

He fumbles at some more buttons. “Oh, oh, oh,” he says, excitedly now. “A thousand watts, there you go.”

Proudly he is walking back toward the counter that his phone is on when, behind him, a lightning bolt erupts from the oven/microwave, and Pattinson ducks like someone outside has opened fire. He’s giggling and crouching as the oven throws off stray flickers of light and sound.

“The fucking electricity…oh, my God,” he says, still on the floor. And then, with a loud, final bang, the oven/microwave goes dark.

In the silence, Pattinson and I both stare at the mysterious piece of machinery built into the wall behind him.

“Yeah, I think I have to leave that alone,” he says, sighing again, picking himself off the floor. “But that is a Piccolini Cuscino.”

I haven't laughed out loud like that in a while.

wow, that's gold

amazing

this man is a hero

the writer definitely checked with the restaurateur guy to see if any of this was real, because it 100% seems like he just made the whole thing up in order to fuck with an interviewer

classic

robert pattinson is an odd duck

he always strikes me as an intelligent guy who lives dumb because he's lazy and luckily works in a career where people are dressing you and making sure you don't burn your rented apartment down

that is to say, I begrudge him the help and relate to the rest

this is v good, I will treasure this tale for all time

meanwhile everyone else is told they're going to hell if they use the wrong amount of garlic or are on whichever side of the "do you wash your chicken" discourse is the satan side toay

that is one way of not looking at it.

He's trolling with the whole pasta set piece/spectacle, right?

i entrust in every ilxor the power to go forth and use however much or little garlic you please

like all masterful trolls, no one can really tell for sure

God I love him so much

i entrust in every ilxor the power to go forth and use however much or little garlic you please

That's only because lex doesn't post here anymore, so we don't have to worry about him trying to make pasta again.

the world’s a mess, it’s in his kitchen

it's the only possible way of looking at it when anybody else who posted they did even one of these things while cooking, if their post was unlucky enough to be found or if they were a Designated Bad Person, would be mocked by thousands of people, but for some reason it's ok when robert pattinson does it

i think lex would view this anecdote as confirmation that kitchens are terrifying and dangerous

like there are entire twitter accounts/instagrams/etc. devoted to making fun of people's unacceptable "struggle plate" meals that they had the gall to photograph or think were ok

i think even rich person robert pattinson would not intentionally blow up a microwave in his own house during a pandemic for an anecdote but maybe i'm a rube

it isn't about whether it's intentional, it's about whether they fell short at all

yeah, i diggit; was referring to if this was trolling or not as opposed to "is it fair that celebrity gets away with thing that average person can't"

tbh I see that type of thing sometimes and either unfollow or laugh at, for example, a racist british guy complaining about foreign meals smelling bad when he's made beans on toast with a single boiled vegetable on the side

the people acting like lex was the worst person for not attempting to learn cooking skills was a weird dogpile and I always assumed half the people were putting him on. his thoughts on cooking were as obtuse and brash as his other opinions and it seemed like an easy thing to pretend there's an objective right way to eat, compared to the complexity of takes on music

being an adult who can't cook whatsoever is quite clownable. makes more sense in pattinson's case - rich kid who became a star young, has never had to prepare his own food

he should post on the neuvo cuisine thread or write a cookbook with strongo

iirc lex is cooking now

I wasn't even referring to that, just The Discourse in general, it seems like every day a new absolute rule is imposed

scolds be scoldin'

Are people reading this and NOT laughing at Robert Pattison blowing up his kitchen in an attempt to find venture funding?

(let alone the idea being "let's slop some sugary pasta into a panini, that sounds good")

wait until you get to the part in the rest of the interview where the meal he actually eats is just dumping tabasco sauce in a can of tuna

i approve of the tabasco on tuna and the sheer will to find a portable pasta.

when I read it my main reaction was to be confused and a little sad because I don't understand the rules and they seem to change so readily while still being inviolable at every change

tabunasco pasta is the wave of the future

i like canned tuna in pasta as well as hot sauce in pasta. so this all checks out.

pasta is space food

(let alone the idea being "let's slop some sugary pasta into a panini, that sounds good")

― DJP, Tuesday, May 12, 2020 2:51 PM (forty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

there was a new place around here that was trying to set itself up as the chipotle of italian food so they advertised pasta burritos, just a pile of pasta inside a thin flatbread wrap. it was supposed to be their signature thing. i went opening week and ordered one and the server looked at me like i asked to lick the dirt off the floor. a month later they rebranded as "healthy" italian fast casual with like zoodles and kale salad and shit

I sympathize with the server in that story.

they tried to make ramen burritos a thing at one point.

"they"

I've had rice noodles inside an "asian-style teriyaki wrap" at a workplace cafeteria but there weren't a lot of them

food abomination that was edible until whoever was prepping them stopped looking at the ingredients list and kept adding tomatoes in

ramen burgers are fucking scary imo

i can’t fully comprehend what he was trying to make

what was all the sugar for?
breadcrumbs/cornflakes on bottom, but no bread on the bottom?
pasta wrapped in cheese
more sugar?
hamburger bun on top

like... my 3yo’s niece’s make believe meals she made from what she found in the backyard had more internal logic than this LOL

he was punking himself? seems like a possibility. when the microwave explodes, he's described as "giggling".

I'm guessing he was high

it would seem so

That reminds me of a tabloid thing I saw about RP and Kristen Stewart (back when they were together) about how all their spare time off the Twilight sets was spent having sex and smoking weed.

how are you supposed to spend your early 20s, really

This thread from a friend of a friend on Twitter is great:

i was in a youth theatre group with robert pattinson, and can i just say - yes

— old man bangers (@FindusPancake) May 12, 2020

Last year I went to a place that called itself a 'concept meatball restaurant. It was so earnest that I almost feel bad making fun of it. Basically, you'd pick six kinds of meatballs and six sauces (there were recommended pairings, but they weren't required) and ten minutes later a matronly lady would bring them out to you IN PORCELAIN EGG CARTONS with the meatballs on one side, and the sauces on the other. Some of them had clearly been defrosted in a microwave, and they were molten on the exterior but icy in the middle and that's Robert Pattinson for you.

some ilxor worked on a movie with him. I don't feel like searching.

I was at that High Life screening with him and Claire Denis doing Q&A and the exit was at the back of the theater and she was kind of half saying "oh no please stay seated!" as she hurriedly shuffled out. I was thinking, ma'am, I think you're not the one the younger ladies in the front row want to lunge at

I'm guessing he was high
― DJP, Tuesday, May 12, 2020

I knew this would happen. https://thetakeout.com/robert-pattinson-pasta-recipe-gq-magazine-1843422757

^^lol the photos really underscore the sadness/madness of his recipe.

Apparently he's 34 today - happy birthday to this ridiculous weirdo. 

I finally read the whole article, not just the pasta bit, and it is full of gems: 

“He’s not mean,” Claire Denis says about Pattinson. “But he’s always trying to escape a little. He doesn’t want you to put your claws too deep in him. Sometimes I forget, and I’ll send him a text with something a little personal. And he will always answer: hahahaha. ‘This is the limit, Claire.’ You know?”

I both respect and hate him for his attitude towards exercise, given the presumably insane amount of money he's getting paid to bulk up:  

The film studio hired a trainer who left Pattinson with a Bosu ball, a single weight, and a sincere plea to use both, but right now, he says, he’s ignoring her. “I think if you’re working out all the time, you’re part of the problem,” he says, sighing. By “you” he means other actors. “You set a precedent. No one was doing this in the ’70s. Even James Dean—he wasn’t exactly ripped.” He says that back when he was the star of the Twilight franchise, “the one time they told me to take my shirt off, I think they told me to put it back on again.” But Batman is Batman. Pattinson called another actor on the film, Zoë Kravitz, the other day, and she said she was exercising five days a week during their exile from set. Pattinson, well: “Literally, I’m just barely doing anything,” he says, sighing again.

Also that entire bit where he's trying to talk about "Tenet". And can we talk about those photographs/outfits?! Some of those shots are amazing and makes me think that he's prob not nearly as chaotic as he comes across (I'm also only about 75% sure about this).

they were very good self portraits.

I have to say he is pretty beautiful. And I loved his work in Good Time.

I assumed the photos had been touched up considerably.

gq reporter otm

I wish I could tell you whether what I’m about to describe here is a bit, or a piece of performance art, or is in fact sincere—even now, I don’t totally know. I think parts of it are real and parts of it can’t be real.

I assumed the photos had been touched up considerably. 

well sure. But he's also very good at figuring out his best angles even while trying to look appropriately disheveled (in much too expensive clothes). And the final photo of his face projected onto toilet paper feels like yet another masterful bit of trolling.

obsessive batman fan from my high school currently furious on facebook about pattinson not working out (disrespects the role)

Nice.

now is the time for fatman

Robert Pattinson IS in a trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLOp_6uPccQ

Nirvana remake or interpolation of the Imperial March? You get to decide! Oh and Batman's dark and gritty, who knew.

man i am so fucking tired of grim and gritty superhero movies; fuck off and come back in twenty years

WB packing a pandemic's worth of bad content into one day

"fuck off and come back in twenty years"

ffs show some consideration, some of us might not have topped ourselves or died off by then!

in twenty years every movie will either be a batman movie or a spiderman movie

The first time I saw the "?0?1" I didn't think those were meant to be "2"s, I thought they were literally placeholders. "Like, who knows when this movie is even coming out, ?0?!?"

Thought maybe the revive was for the announcement that Batffleck will be making another appearance in the Flash movie no one asked for. Because you can never have enough different Batmen running around.

"An All-Star Cast In...TOO MANY BATMEN!"

Keaton's Batman is in it too

Let’s see them get Kilmer and Clooney in it.

Bale is back as regular Batman AND Fat Batman, just because.

when the dust is settled, we'll have seen 27 different Marthas die by gunshot, and 27 different sets of pearls hit the ground

all of us are to blame. no one is to blame.

can't they just stop making all superhero movies?

Net zero superheroes by 2027 it needs to happen

they can get a head start by wiping existing movies

there might be net zero people in 2027 so

they're gonna start going through all the old movies and making them batman or spiderman movies

vertigo? that's a batman movie now. the killing of a chinese bookie? that's a spiderman

batman begins? strangely, that's a spiderman

r-pattz in dark eyeliner and eyeshadow <3

but everything else about this looks terrible.

12 Angry Batmen

TS: Batmen vs Batsman

This thing is only 25% filmed, but they're already releasing a trailer...massive confidence or barely masked panic?

Eh, they've got a year. Which means they've got enough time to recast Batman with Jason Bateman. Or hell, Justine Bateman.

just once i want the leather masked dipshit to take a punch at the scoffing punk and then have the scoffing punk step aside and leave leather masked dipshit wildly swinging at the air and then throwing a tantrum.

just the most toxic power fantasies, constantly supporting the idea that one properly trained asshole can take on a mob or the state

cobain would've absolutely hated all this shit of course

with the lights out
it's real gritty
it's too bad the
movie's shitty

Now I'm imagining the trailer soundtracked by Weird Al's "Smells Like Nirvana."

Someone should seriously replace it with a slowed down, menacing version of that.

Nah, just keep it as is. Let the ridiculousnessness shine.

Release the Weird Cut!

As Jess H pointed out over on Twitter, Weird Al IS canon:

https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Weird_Al_Yankovic

even in his best efforts to include everything in Zur-En-Arrh hallucination-induced canon, Morrison didn't go as far as a TV cartoon adaptation of Harvey Kurtzman's 1950s MAD parody, or Scooby-Doo https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Bat-Mite_Presents:_Batman%27s_Strangest_Cases!

i hope pattinson stays good and interesting after this, that's all.

black on black on black is so tired rn

come back joel, all is forgiven
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6gACml4h0

They should reboot Batman as a hero that fights in the broad daylight.

I've always wondered about that, tbh. If I were a bad guy in Batman world, I would do all my crimes in the daylight when I just had boring old police to contend with.

Good Bit of Daytime action in the Adam West version.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41t3Pqslp2L._AC_SX466_.jpg

Really, these gloomy Batmans should have the big visual "boom!" and "pow!" effects, because it's so hard to see the fights in the dark. In the brightly lit Adam West version they were all pretty redundant. You think I can't recognize a "biff!" or "blam!" when I see one?! I mean, duh.

crime is rampant in the daylight cos Batman can't see his batsignal in the sun, and then the Batsignal General came and dismantled his signal, citing cost-savings, so now Gotham is lost

Good point! It's just too bright for the bat signal. And then in the summer, when night falls later and later? That's pretty rough. Batman is all sitting in his kitchen, leg bouncing, checking his batwatch again and again, peaking out between the blinds, waiting for the street lights to finally pop on ...

Batman actually beats up 1 in every 3 civilian he runs into so they'll be woozy and unable to commit crime when it's daylight out. he just has to hope he hits the right people

Batman offers grants to all the batbars to keep the happy hour (batty hour?) specials super-cheap so that come nightfall the bat villains are all pretty sluggish.

i hope pattinson stays good and interesting after this, that's all.

― Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Sunday, August 23, 2020 12:38 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

otm, too many interesting directions over the past few years. he can spend a decade showing up in cheap productions and still live off Batman cash after this

thought the trailer looked better than almost all other recent dc things. didn’t suffer from snyder's hyper-saturated visual language, actually looked fairly sharp.

On the other hand, another fucking Batman movie.

ive managed to avoid all the batfleck films, so idk maybe i’ll check this one

yeah maybe not the best time to once again make a rich angryman cop a romantic hero

Bat Lives Matter?

i think rpattz could be a decent batman imo

I'm always game to watch someone beat up Paul Dano in a movie

There Will Be More Blood

vertigo? that's a batman movie now. the killing of a chinese bookie? that's a spiderman

It's a Batty, Batty, Batty, Batty World

upcoming DCEU movies:

Wonder Woman 2
Batman 1 only took them a decade
Suicide Squad reboot or 2 or 3 depending
Black Adam 1 and done
Shazam 2
Flash 1
Aquaman 2

This trailer looks emo as hell. Will watch, love r patts

I like r patz and I'm glad this will indirectly help him make a whole bunch more weird ass movies.

Oh and that really was the original Nirvana track, remixed:

https://www.udiscovermusic.com/news/nirvana-batman-trailer-soundtrack/

R-Patz HAS The Rona.

excellent start to the batman press tour

we can't let the oscar nominations eclipse the pasta update from robert pattinson https://t.co/yUxWWBwhke pic.twitter.com/Pj9ybFYhF9

— iana murray (@ianamurray) February 8, 2022

<3

rpattz forever. may he remain awkard forever

the profile (and accompanying photoshoot) is once again, full of gems:

When he started auditioning, anytime he’d introduce himself as English while trying out for an American role, the casting agents would act concerned. “They’d always question it: ‘We’re worried about the accent…’ ” he says. “So I used to always come in as a different person, an American. I’d say, ‘Hi, I’m from Michigan.’ But then I was doing an audition for Transformers 2, right after Twilight had come out”—in other words, precisely the moment that Pattinson became a globally famous actor—“and I went in as some guy from Denver. And they called my agent and were like, ‘What’s wrong with him? Why was he doing an improv? A really boring improv?’ ”

Him thinking The Devil All The Time was a comedy explains SO MUCH about that movie lmao:

Pattinson threw another knuckleball into 2020’s The Devil All the Time, in which he plays a creepy, corporeal Southern preacher who seduces young parishioners and then gaslights them about their sexual encounters. “But I thought that one was supposed to be a comedy. I remember reading the script and it was so extreme, with such monstrous characters, I was thinking it had to be.” (It wasn’t.)

gold

really want to hear his ambient music, ngl

lucky he was corporeal in that role, as opposed to being some kind of RPattz spectre or ghost

No chatter about this? I liked it but a hardboiled detective Batman movie starring RPattz is basically catnip to me so…

it's really good. I liked it as much as the better Nolan movies (the first two). It strikes me as one of the less violent Batman movies as well; obv. there is violence in it but a fair amount happens off screen.

I liked it.

That said, there are some really great moments wrapped in a bunch of absolutely baffling decisions in plotting and pacing. The Riddler puzzles are all good to fine, with the exception of the one that actually propels the main thread of the plot. The plot seems to be coming to a close only for there to be one more act, and the way it's executed feels like the cliffhanger of a penultimate episode of a Netflix series.

RPattz is barely Bruce Wayne, even the moments where he's out of the costume -- with one notable exception (strike that, two) -- feel like he's tiptoeing around hoping no one asks him about Batman. He pulls off the physicality of playing the two roles, though, and I thought he delivered as Batman.

I'm inexplicably a Paul Dano hater, just find the guy kind of wormy and creepy in most roles, but he's really good at being wormy and creepy! The character is much scarier with the mask off.

I think the thing that struck me with this film, and it may just be the hangover of two years of no crowds, is how insanely packed the movie is with people. There are a handful of scenes (nightclub, funeral, police station, Gotham Square Garden) where crowds are just spilling out of hallways or are jam packed into arenas. The Nolan films had angry mobs, but only as a setup for action. Gotham outdoors at night seems sparse, but it seems to always be raining so presumably everyone's indoors.

The ending is a little heavy-handed in asking "Does having The Batman actually help Gotham?" and dealing with that question, but it's executed fine.

Zoe Kravitz is great.

re: violence, I think there's not a lot of on-screen bloodiness, but what's implied is pretty brutal

the actual fighting goes hard in a couple scenes. the fighting at the end felt like it was inspired by the Batman: Arkham video game series, he's just grappling/punching/getting shot at/doing takedowns constantly

not to mention the Riddler's murder count, direct or indirect, is insanely high

Not sure if anyone else noticed it but there was a nice shout out to Good Time at the beginning of this.

I didn’t love the Bat/Cat romance - the actors have great chemistry but Bats acted like a jealous boyfriend almost from the moment they met and it felt like she should’ve socked him at least once early on for stalking her at home. Zoe Kravitz was terrific otherwise though.

Re Bruce Wayne: it’s implied that he hadn’t yet developed a Bruce Wayne persona at this point - seems to be a deliberate set up for the sequels where he’ll be forced to grapple with the Wayne family legacy. But RPattz is great as Batman, conveying a lot of rage and sadness with minimal dialogue and just the slightest shifts in body/eye movement. (I also think he’s kinda Bruce Wayne irl anyway, in that he has a reputation of being a total weirdo recluse but somehow still manages to show up at every cool Hollywood party and everyone wants to hang out with him.)

Loved the Riddler as Gotham’s Zodiac Killer/Jigsaw.

The main Batman score was very reminiscent of the Imperial March, that felt rather deliberate too.

it's just the cello part from 'something in the way'

I had no idea that was Colin Farrell as the Penguin until hours after the movie was over.

I very much enjoyed this. Very neo-noir.

Could have done with some mood-lightening at points (I mean Bogart movies were fuckin hilarious), but I liked that it wasn't an action-fest, more Batman the detective. and I enjoyed Riddler (surprised it was Dano!).

and yeah good call on Zodiac connection, he even says "This is the Riddler speaking" and uses ciphers, very obvious Zodiac allusion

the unnamed prisoner in Arkham at the end was confirmed to be The Joker, but they say he's not going to be in any of the sequels...which, frankly, that's fine, I'm tired of him being our only villain in the cinematic universe.

I enjoyed this as well. The score didn't register with me much during the film but there was a solo piano piece during the end credits that I loved a lot.

the discourse around this made me realize that Pattinson has been baconed or is at least on the trajectory

Interesting perspective here: my daughter, who has never seen a single Batman anything besides Lego Batman, apparently snuck in with a friend to see this yesterday and thought it was great.

this was ok. pattinson is probably my favorite of the modern batmans. the politics of a batman movie are never going to be good but this felt especially confused. turturro and farrell were really good. kravitz was solid, though I thought her chemistry with pattinson was just ok. overall too long and the last act didn’t work at all

what was the Good Time connection? I missed the first 5 minutes

the convenience store being robbed by one of gotham's criminals was called Good Times Grocer

Could have done with some mood-lightening at points

found myself cracking up at a lot of the overly serious scenes like sorry, a guy in a batsuit bellowing "I am... VENGEANCE." is objectively hilarious imo

also when they said the Riddler had 500 online followers and made it seem like it was a HUGE number

and Penguin making fun of Batman and Gordon for not knowing basic Spanish lol

the spanish thing was a serious side-splitter. but that was about it

i dunno, i think i went in a good mood cause i thought there was a lot of humour, just not wisecracking MCU kind of funny.

just little things like the forensics photographer following Batman around and taking photos of all the things that he was looking at, "thumb drive", the way Batman popped into the shot at the end of car crash, Selina calling him "vengeance" in every sentence...

There are lots of entertaining Batman movies but IMO the only "good" ones are Mask of The Phantasm, Batman Returns, and the Adam West one.

Always wanted to see a Batman-as-detective movie even if this one sounds cornily gloomy; I'm glad they seem to have avoided being influenced by the terrible Batman comics of the past ten years.

It was...portentous. I will give it this much, it maintained pacing surprising well for a three hour movie?

Yeah I thought it was paced well, definitely paced better than the Dark Knight, which to me felt longer. though I wouldn't have minded chopping off the final action scene in this new one and just letting it end on a down note. Good movie overall

i enjoyed this! i did not expect to enjoy this. i thought the substantial opening section was particularly good, as was the car chase.

the latter generating striking images and moments out of a submerged impressionistic feel which conveyed comic book images and kineticism in a new way - reminded me slightly of a bill sienkowicz feel.

there was something appealing about the fight scenes esp early that i couldn’t quite put my finger on and would want to see again - they felt appropriately bound by the confusion of dust ups somehow.

the overall emo tone worked surprisingly well too, generating a consistent melancholy and dream-like tone to it all. and yes, three hours is always too long, but it was fine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqvQeI_ekVA

Fizzles, you're not wrong re the Sienkiewicz influence on the visual side - they even got him to design a promotional poster for the film:

https://www.ign.com/articles/how-the-batman-poster-was-made-bill-sienkiewicz

Overall tho, I would say that this is the Jim Lee Batman.

oh, interesting! thanks WF.

saw this again last night. feel about the same, decent movie

colin farrell doing fat 90s deniro is by far the best part about this. A++

I just couldn’t stand the score. face-meltingly banal and dreary

also thought jeffrey wright’s scenes just didn’t work well at all. his gravelly, almost whispery tone of voice is too similar to the batman’s, and it makes their scenes strangely monotonous

wright is one seriously limited-range actor

I got to wonder what type of advanced degree one would need to have a career designing something like this below.

https://static3.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/The-Batman-Robert-Pattinson-Little-Caesars.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=960&h=500&dpr=1.5

I have eaten the Batman calzony

I'd suppose you would have to have a couple of engineers involved with such a piece of foodtech, if nothing else to come up with the die-cut to be able to make the dough.

But to think going through some industrial engineering program and perhaps the biggest project you ever worked on that people might 'know' was the Batman calzony is either hilarious or sad or both. Either way you got paid I suppose, Batman's got to bat and people got to eat pizza.

it’s not really a non-standard cut per se, but a fold introduced over a normal pizza shape

wright is one seriously limited-range actor

― akm, Wednesday, March 16, 2022 1:51 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

OTM. The fact he continues to work, while playing everything in the same drudgy tone since Day One, perplexes me.

how quickly you forget peoples hernandez
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVj6PbUV7bU

i love wright but that may just be felix lighter talking

An important thread from a board veteran

I'd like to make a The Batman thread so I want to warn people of a spoiler please don't click thru to this thread if you plan to see The Batman but I need to make a specific comment that is a spoiler. DONT CLICK THREAD.

— ally millar (@allyzay) March 18, 2022

loved this. maybe my new fave version of batman?

thought rpattz was excellent. loved his moody emo Bruce Wayne, and i liked that the alterego stuff wasnt featured as much as it usually is.

Enjoyed the detective angle, and jeffrey wright was really good, no beef w him at all.

lots of Zodiac nods for sure, not only the cipher but the chintzy greeting cards were very similar as well - that device was used a few times irl to taunt the press & detectives

here’s one https://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2017/11/Zodiac-Letter_16.jpg

had no idea it was colin farrell as penguin at all, he was great!

cinematography was great, it never felt “too” dark which is probably a hard balancing act to pull off. opening scene was really cool looking - and that car chase w penguin was gr8. i liked how the “Times Square” area of Gotham somehow looked like the 1940s in a few wide shots, and the way just faces were illuminated a few times during the car chase

oh and Paul Dano. fucking great. always reliably great, no exception this time. when he goes big he goes BIG. so great.

zoe kravitz was rad, god they had such good chemistry- i did think it was a shame she had so much exposition to deliver all the time, i feel like it hampered what she could do with the character somewhat

oh and I liked Batman’s physicality in the fight scenes, he seemed heavier somehow, more like a boxer or a streetfighter, not so lightfooted and nimble. it was cool.

Thought it was bold they cast two actors I didn't know as Riddler and Penguin only to realize afterward they cast two actors I'm very familiar with lol. To my credit, I did recognize Turturro

also i mistook Saarsgard for Corey Stoll (House of Cards, The Strain etc)
i mean, i think i can forgiven, he does play a lot of weaselly bald govt officials

He has hair in West Side Story, but he's still kind of a weaselly govt official.

i think what it is is Sarsgaard plays the movie roles that Stoll would do on tv lol

Deleted scene between Batman and Barry Keoghan's Joker.

I like it - very Silence of the Lambs of course, but am also into the idea of the Joker being just one in a line of bad guys that Bats has put behind bars. Kinda hope he just stays in there throughout the sequels.

watching that reminded me why i don't really care about this franchise at all and i promise i don't mean this to belittle people who do, but i simply cannot look at a man dressed up as batman and take him seriously, much less find him intimidating
you're dressed up as batman for crissakes

but he’s so goth

xp when there is a tender scene bw the batman and the catwoman im just like, girl run hes wearing a furry suit i know hes cute but cmon ur zoe kravitz

this movie was great tho

i just think its gonna be funny in 100 years and ppl are gonna be like "why did so many adults in the 21st c tell stories of other adults wearing onesies with cute ears on hitting bad men" and we're gonna be in the nursing homes just beside ourselves

I like the more detective-y/psychological Batman stories. Kinda curious if they’ll have Calendar Man as another Arkham interview subject later in the series

"why did so many adults in the 21st c tell stories of other adults wearing onesies with cute ears on hitting bad men"

I remember hearing an interview with Christopher Nolan where he was talking about how they arrived at the Joker's look, and he was going on about how influenced he was by gritty realistic 70s crime movies like Eddie Coyle et al, and said his approach was instead of taking the traditional Joker and adding elements to make him look grittier, he started with a character from one of those movies and did the bare minimum needed to make his look read as 'the Joker'? And I remember wanting to reach into the radio and grab him and go "if this is your mindset, why are we involving jokers and bat men at all? just make that movie instead! "

because he got hired to direct a Batman movie and they paid him

ah i see

not trying to dunk on batman movies on the batman movie thread, just echoing forks that the quest for grounded & realistic batman movies seems quixotic to me, as soon as you have anyone having a normal conversation with a costumed person & not mentioning the costume we're already wayyy out of the realm of reality, always confusing to me that people want to run away from that. would love a batman movie where he shows up places and people are just constantly like "nuh-uh, not a chance, please wait outside sir"

tbf there’s a moment in half of the franchises where that happens, then he stops some sort of ridiculous scheme that’s about to kill thousands or breaks some gun-wielding thug’s face and the onlookers are just like, “well, as implausible as it is that this vigilante who looks ridiculous is topping crime, he now intimidates me, so I’ll fall in line”

it’s still corny as hell, and funny that they keep doing this

I think I meant toppling crime, but given the nature of the costume situation, read into it what you will

the noirish first third of pattinson and wright chasing clues was my fav but it was undercut by both of them being complete dumbasses. like BATman's first guess to the riddle "a rat with wings" was "penguin"... like dude 🤦.. it was unclear whether the movie "knew" they were idiots. like batman can crack cyphers and doing cryptography in his head, then also has a rudimentary grasp of spanish?

These are the only superhero films I see--I was keeping up with Spiderman till the first Andrew Garfield, but nothing since.

Anyway, some of this was of interest to me: lines more or less paraphrased from Chinatown, All the President's Men, and Taxi Driver, the (heavy-handed, yes) January 6th angle--thought about posting in the Trump Movies thread, but I get the third degree every time I do--a guy named Oswald shooting someone being transported to prison, and I liked the last minute. Getting there required three hours of whispering, darkness, car chases, fights, and clunky exposition.

also when they said the Riddler had 500 online followers and made it seem like it was a HUGE number

I thought it was a private group, more like if a group of 500 was planning some kind of Columbine / Jan. 6 event and was discovered.

watched this tonight actually. my main takeaway is that the disaster at the end would be like by far one of the worst disasters impacting a large city in history, but batman had a flare and helped a boy so it was fine

BATman's first guess to the riddle "a rat with wings" was "penguin"... like dude 🤦

why is this so long

I don't get complains about Wright. He saved The French Dispatch with a couple line readings.

"adults wearing onesies with cute ears on hitting bad men"

read this as "bald men" and thought "well i could easily defend that"

i have not seen the onesie movie

...IS once again the Batman.

https://gizmodo.com/the-batman-sequel-announced-matt-reeves-robert-pattinso-1848844738

is he still vengeance or is he some other abstract concept this time

robin pattinson IS compersion

Robert Pattinson is happy to discuss your insurance needs with you and can provide a direct quote as necessary.

https://external-preview.redd.it/Mt_24KVmZSn8j2mDFcumcXavfoHktmIN3gbfBVQDJ48.png?auto=webp&s=be14d8472f2e910da88dd1ce9b1b050ae48fcbf7

I watched the first half hour of this last night; it wasn't too bad (at this rate, guess I'll finish it in around a week?)

I like how this Batman sort of goes everywhere on foot... like he just keeps walking up to groups of people – "Hey."

Even the Batmobile has issues with gas prices.

How many times did the Batmobile catch a flat?

liked this a lot more than i was expecting to. i enjoyed the detective story, even though it was dopey, and it was a beautiful-looking film, the palette a lot more vibrant than i expected. it also wasn't as grimdark as it thought it was, which is a plus.

The contact lens thing is cool – I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

Watched it last night - much better than I was expecting but the second half was a lot less interesting. Zoe Kravitz was fun as "Catwoman" but as soon she got bogged down in the boring John Turturro subplot, I lost interest. Too much backstory-in-convesation, like an early episode of Game of Thrones or something. And some of the interrogation scenes with Jeffrey Wright were silly and - it wasn't a complicated plot but the script made it more complicated than it needed to be.

I really liked Pattinson and his odd mask. Not exactly better than Bale, but much more enjoyable.

SO GLAD this wasnt grimdark - like, at all. Felt like a 12-year-old could've watched it (and maybe even gotten bored).

like an early episode of Game of Thrones or something.

You mean when it was good?

He’s such an asshole to Alfred for some reason, it’s funny.

Adam West IS The Batman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B90ic2iKDo

The pacing of the final stretch was unusual – it didn’t really have a big action climax like most of these movies? It kind of slowly wound down instead.

Overall it was a little plot-heavy, but I enjoyed it. Pattinson was strangely compelling, with his emo charisma.

I finally sat down and watched this late last night, which was a bit of a mistake as it was rolling on 4am when it finally got done. It was a beautiful looking movie. I thought all the scenes inside the Iceburg Lounge looked really cool. I had no idea that was Colin Ferrell as the Penguin until the end credits.

While it was not as over the top grimacing as some of the other DC movies, good lord Gotham was totally f'ed up in the end. Kinda hard to think Batman came out as a winner in this one at all (which was kind of the case of the N52 Riddler story this is based upon).

Curious to see where they go with this one in the sequel as they already used the Harvey Dent/Two Face and Ra's Al Ghul in the previous trilogy. I'd figure they do something more about Arkham.

I thought it was funny how Gordon and Batman blithely caused or contributed to like 30 civilian car wrecks while pursuing a minor thug or something.

I watched this again… despite its imperfections (the Riddler expects Bruce Wayne to open his own mail?), I think it’s quite well made, and it has a certain “Batman-ness” that none of the other movies have (note: I’ve never seen the Batfleck ones). It’s hard to put into words, but Reeves manages to capture the feel of the comics without leaning too hard into a “stylized” approach… and I think Pattinson may be my favorite of the actors (not counting Keaton, who’s kind of in his own league, but I don’t like his movies much).

(the Burton movies, that is)

From my memory of the film it's the only of these that feels like a real, living city, and not just sets or set pieces. But I may not be remembering accurately.

I guess the second Nolan film did too (although without necessarily feeling like “Gotham City” as we think of it).

For all that movie’s virtues, I feel like Nolan got so hung up on a certain type of “realism,” that it became tiring… all that Wayne Industries military tech, etc. This Batman is more modestly equipped—he has a bulletproof suit and a muscle car, and a simple Batcave—and feels more “believable,” while also seeming more like Batman in the comics.

Even the costume really looks the part, while splitting the difference and coming off almost as something that might work in real life (without looking ridiculous). The action scenes are great; it feels like “Batman fighting,” not just an Iron Man–type figure using fancy weapons.

Well, while we wait (if we are) on a new film:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQghiGQi6Lo

Weirdly like Rockstar Games does The Sopranos