i love that in a visually overloaded world suddenly the hot tech is p much entirely invisible and driven by sound, both input and output
i went from never wanting one to signing up for voluntary subdermal implantation in about 5 seconds flat
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 January 2018 11:11 (six years ago) link
i like going round my friends houses and setting the alarm to 4am when they go to the toilet
― nxd, Thursday, 4 January 2018 11:13 (six years ago) link
I have four Amazon surveillance devices in my home, including one in the bathroom.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 January 2018 11:17 (six years ago) link
these fuckin things don't understand my accent
― pee-wee and the power men (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 January 2018 11:52 (six years ago) link
clear evidence of silicon valley's continuing scotophobia imo
― pee-wee and the power men (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 January 2018 11:53 (six years ago) link
That's scotchophobia iirc
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:00 (six years ago) link
i can't get mine to play any french podcasts unless i say their titles like a brain-dead american literally phonetically pronouncing the words
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:10 (six years ago) link
also my echo has a disturbing lack of respect for charli xcx, viz:
pic.twitter.com/OuqbcgtGy6— Elisha Sessions š (@elishasessions) January 3, 2018
My success rate with these devices is pretty low. Ieasier to use the keyboard / screen
― calstars, Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:37 (six years ago) link
āCALL GOOMAHāāCALL MOM?āāNOOOā
― calstars, Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:38 (six years ago) link
Never have and never will understand why I should be interested in talking to a machine. Or impressed by it, or whatever. Also, accent here.
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:45 (six years ago) link
it was a present that i initially did not want.i have now plugged it into the stereo and can invoke any song from the entire history of recorded music by just asking for it. also it does the weather and the radio. it's frankly amazing
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:48 (six years ago) link
ā Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:45 (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Weren't u also against SNA and ILF
Just saying
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:49 (six years ago) link
My mom has procured an Echo sometime in the last couple of months (which I only accidentally discovered while calling for my sister's dog, Lexi, over the holidays). I couldn't get it to much in the way of fun tricks and was quickly growing bored but once I discovered 'Alexa, fart' I was all in.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:50 (six years ago) link
Still am (xp)
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:51 (six years ago) link
A mate of mine recently got one, obsessed with it, but all I could gain from what he was saying was that he uses it for weather forecasts.
― In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:52 (six years ago) link
for me it really is about spotify, the radio and podcasts. it also acts as a kind of default Bluetooth speaker to send phone audio to. anticipated black mirror moment: scolding my children for telling alexa to "shut up"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:54 (six years ago) link
Meanwhile in the home of Boab Gillespie, erstwhile lead singer of Primal Scream.
"Holl', Alexa, doll, whit's the fuckin' weather like, eh? Still pishin' it doon?"
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:55 (six years ago) link
"Ye whit, hen? Cannae fuckin' hear ye."
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:56 (six years ago) link
Viz Top Tips: Pretend you have a state of the art voice recognition music system, by talking loudly to your SanDisk Mp3 player.
― calzino, Thursday, 4 January 2018 12:59 (six years ago) link
I've actually got a Sandisk mp3 player lol.
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:03 (six years ago) link
I haven't used anything else since about 2011, it does all I need.
― calzino, Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:07 (six years ago) link
I got an echo when they first came out and it was a useful novelty then, using it for weather/music/news/timers. It became indispensable when I started using it for home automation, linked with a Smartthings hub. Now I use four of them to control almost all the lights in my apartment, kettle, wax melter, white noise machines. I have routines created for various milestones in our mornings/evenings, like my morning routine (lights come on full brightness, kettle starts), waking up wife (lights slowly get brighter over the course of 10 minutes, white noise machine shut off), put kid to bed (white noise machine on, overhead lights off, lamp on 50%). Also use them for grocery lists, which sync to the Anylist app, which both my wife and I have on our phones/watches. That one is extremely useful. Occasionally use it to order things. My biggest wish right now is that it worked with Apple Music, my prefered streaming service. I'm subscribed to Amazon Music unlimited, but it isn't as great. I also wish I could search for music and start it playing via the app, but you have to do it via voice , which can be hit or miss. I'll probably get a Homepod when they come out just for music.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:09 (six years ago) link
you can throw your phone to it though, doesn't that (sort of) solve the apple music problem?
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:12 (six years ago) link
So...you're saying it's more than a fart machine? Interesting.
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:13 (six years ago) link
I can, but it is extra step of connecting my phone via BT and there is no voice search. The value for being able to play whatever song/album/playlist in 2 seconds is lost. Thatās just enough friction to make me not want to bother most times.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:17 (six years ago) link
Our neighbor was impressed by my patient redirection of her unruly Echo when it kept playing the wrong song requests at her NYE party.
'Alexa! Play 'Auld Lang Syne'!'(plays (fictional example) 'Old Langston' by Conway Twitty)'Alexa...Alexa. Please stop. Please. Thank you.'
― Bobby Buttrock (Old Lunch), Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:18 (six years ago) link
Amazon Music is ok, but I really want all my Apple Music playlists. There is no easy way to convert them over.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 January 2018 13:18 (six years ago) link
I forgot I also use the drop in feature to call to the different rooms in my place. Useful instead of yelling across our long apartment. Also use the mobile app to drop in when Iām out and about.
― Jeff, Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:12 (six years ago) link
i'm surprised apple didn't modify appletv to be one of these annoying things before the holiday season.
I hate these things and won't use one, btw. (I do use appletv though)
― akm, Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:24 (six years ago) link
i don't even use Siri because I feel like an idiot talking to my phone
― akm, Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:25 (six years ago) link
this is violence
― pee-wee and the power men (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:50 (six years ago) link
Released on the net as the scotch tapes
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:52 (six years ago) link
i'm too lazy to talk to a computer tbh
― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:53 (six years ago) link
the applications Jeff listed sound useful for a big household with kids in it but I can't imagine ever using anything like this in my apartment
― Simon H., Thursday, 4 January 2018 14:58 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5kNP7tyhk8
― pee-wee and the power men (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:12 (six years ago) link
hahahaha
― Simon H., Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:14 (six years ago) link
i sometimes use siri for sending simple text messages or basic google searches but siri in genera is too dumb and unresponsive to be that useful for anything
― marcos, Thursday, 4 January 2018 16:20 (six years ago) link
Shortly after Christmas 2018, the Bobby Gillespie household...
Boaby G: "Holl', Alexa, ah've goat a wee question fur ye that's been daein' ma fuckin' nut in... ye right, hen?"
*silence*
Boab: "So, wis that an aye ur a naw? Anywey, whit it is is ah wahnt tae buy this fuckin' book Julian Cope wrote, it's goat a fuckin' quote fae yours truly oan the cover an' every'hin', (clears throat) '"A total skullfuck of a book, a hooligan saga of rave damaged psychic shipwrecks and mythic time travel", Bobby Gillespie, Primal Scream'... load o' pish, ah mean it's the sort o' shite ah wid come oot wi' but ah've never even read the fuckin' 'hing! Me read a fuckin' novel? Aye right, that'll be the fuckin' day unless it's a fuckin' Sven Hassel or sum'hin'... Oanywey, where wis ah? Oh aye, the 'hing is, ah cannae mind whit ye cry it..."
Boab: "... this fuckin' novel Julian Cope's wrote..."
Boab: "... fucked if ah can remember whit ye cry the 'hing..."
Boab: "D'ye hear me? Whit's it ca'ed?"
Boab: (raising voice) "Ah said dae ye hear me? As questions go, it's no' exackly a hard yin or any'hin'..."
Boab: (increasingly flustered) "You fuckin' deef ur whit? 'Cuz ah'll fuckin' have ye if ye're rippin' the pish oot me! (breathing heavily and jabbing index finger violently) Think ye're fuckin' clever dae ye!"
Voice from next room: "Robert, what are you doing in there?"
Boab: "Aw, nu'hin', maw, jist, er, sum'hin' oan the telly. (turning back to Alexa) Right, let's get calmed doon here, ah'm gonny ask ye nicely afore ah get upset... slowly whit dae ye ca' yon Julian Cope's shite novel?"
Boab: (exasperated) "Aw, fuck me, whit the fuck's up wi' this 'hing? It's like it disnae unnerstaun the Queen's fuckin' English or sum'hin. Man alive!"
Boab: (calling to mother in next room) "Hey, mammy, see this 'hing ye goat fur ma Christmas, fuckin' send it back, it disnae fuckin' work! (walks off mumbling) ... fuckin' piece o' crap... they fuckin' saw you comin', hen ... like talkin' tae the fuckin' wa'... ah'd get mair sense oot the fuckin' dug (aims kick at family pet)..."
Alexa: "One Three One."
― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:40 (six years ago) link
Smart speaker / dumb user
― calstars, Thursday, 4 January 2018 21:24 (six years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JepKVUym9Fg
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Sunday, 28 January 2018 22:54 (six years ago) link
fuck this shit
― brimstead, Monday, 29 January 2018 01:50 (six years ago) link
i have now plugged it into the stereo
to think you used to be against the very phenomenon of recorded music!
― j., Monday, 29 January 2018 01:54 (six years ago) link
ā brimstead, Sunday, January 28, 2018 7:50 PM (thirty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Men's Scarehouse - "You're gonna like the way you're shook." (m bison), Monday, 29 January 2018 02:29 (six years ago) link
lol j that was when i was more limber, and had more disposable income now i need electric ariels to fetch sounds into my home
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 29 January 2018 08:44 (six years ago) link
unfortunately i find myself curious about the apple homepod
― é¾, Monday, 29 January 2018 15:18 (six years ago) link
t/s: being surveilled by tim cook vs being surveilled by jeff bezos
― your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 29 January 2018 15:22 (six years ago) link
I want one. Not in the budget right now tho.
― Jeff, Monday, 29 January 2018 15:22 (six years ago) link
is it imac-sized but with a giant clickwheel???
― j., Monday, 29 January 2018 15:37 (six years ago) link
Ā£320 for a bluetooth speaker which doesn't understand my accent when i yell at it seems... ambitious
― your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 29 January 2018 15:40 (six years ago) link
Bears repeating...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAz_UvnUeuU
― MaresNest, Monday, 29 January 2018 16:22 (six years ago) link
precisely
― your skeleton is ready to hatch (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 29 January 2018 16:23 (six years ago) link
whenever i see one of these i have a momentary impulse to destroy it
― ciderpress, Monday, 29 January 2018 16:26 (six years ago) link
How is this real https://t.co/zsBWetcQ3m— Casey Newton (@CaseyNewton) March 7, 2018
― mark s, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 19:22 (six years ago) link
referring to this:
Amazon confirms some Alexa devices are randomly laughing and says it's working on a fix, after multiple users posted about it on social media (@shannon_liao / The Verge)https://t.co/ZZCzsdJblBhttps://t.co/su8obK4hWt— Techmeme (@Techmeme) March 7, 2018
― mark s, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 19:23 (six years ago) link
I got a HomePod. I enjoy it, but I do use it almost exclusively for listening to music. Just having easy, voice controlled access to my iTunes library and playlists that Iāve carefully curated over the past 15+ years is worth the price for me. Also works really well being controlled by the phone as well. You can easily switch to whatever the HomePod is playing, change the queue, add something to up next, etc. And it sounds better than what I was using previously (Amazon Music through the echo).Iād struggle to recommend it to anyone not using Apple Music though. Itās not a great smart speaker, I still use my Alexaās for all my smart home devices and automations since they are not HomeKit compatible.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 13 March 2018 16:57 (six years ago) link
less a ringing endorsement than a... maybe a clanking endorsement?
― Iām 16 and a member of UKIPās youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 17:02 (six years ago) link
Wasnāt meant to be! Just thoughts, man.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 13 March 2018 22:25 (six years ago) link
have now plugged it into the stereo and can invoke any song from the entire history of recorded music by just asking for it.you can't though
― just noticed tears shaped like florida. (sic), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 22:51 (six years ago) link
pretty freakin close!!
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 23:18 (six years ago) link
anything spotify doesn't have i just bluetooth from my phone/computer
or play on the record player lol
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 23:19 (six years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/may/24/amazon-alexa-recorded-conversation
― the word dog doesn't bark (anagram), Friday, 25 May 2018 08:52 (six years ago) link
Siri on my phone turns on at odd times when Iām speaking French (I have Siri set to English), and does weird things since itās interpreting French as English. Bilingual life may be pretty rare for people with the lifestyles to buy one of these but I donāt see how they screen for accent differences etc.
― droit au butt (Euler), Friday, 25 May 2018 09:22 (six years ago) link
it connects to my computer's Bluetooth around midnight pretty regularly with absolutely no intervention from me, no noises at all in the house
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 25 May 2018 09:46 (six years ago) link
throw that shit in the garbage, my g
― 21st savagery fox (m bison), Friday, 25 May 2018 10:51 (six years ago) link
Siri on my phone turns on at odd times when Iām speaking French (I have Siri set to English), and does weird things since itās interpreting French as English.
seems to work the other way too. when i say the incredibly common english word 'theatre', it thinks i'm saying 'thĆ©Ć¢tre' with all the accents i didn't insert into my speech and then says "sorry, i didn't find a device named 'tay-AHH-tra'". alexa is a fucking idiot.
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 11 October 2018 10:40 (five years ago) link
i mean... alexa, not siri
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 11 October 2018 10:53 (five years ago) link
now that i'm here:
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 11 October 2018 11:16 (five years ago) link
having gone all-out with google home i'm now able to drift through the flat with one (1) music/podcast playing everywhere. a damned decent and relatively affordable way of doing things, especially since i'm trying to do less with headphones (due to fear of further hearing damage), and especially since there have been a pile of good specials recently (i straight-up can't justify the cost of a full sonos kit-out).
on the whole, it works. if you want music played on a speaker group, it plays on that speaker group and stays nicely synced across speakers. chromecast is better for this because asking the homes to play something is a lucky dip. the sound quality (a mix of homes & minis) isn't excellent but it's absolutely fine, and i love having it follow me around without needing to crank it.
i've gone a bit nuts with home automation too, where it's convenient. so:
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 25 November 2018 07:11 (five years ago) link
luckĀ·y dip/ĖlÉkÄ Ėdip/nounBritish term for grab bag.
― Je55e, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:40 (five years ago) link
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51KDzehG%2BZL._AC_SY400_.jpg
― conrad, Sunday, 25 November 2018 16:43 (five years ago) link
Siri just plain doesn't understand the things I say and doesn't seem to be getting any better so I've stopped using it.
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 25 November 2018 18:17 (five years ago) link
siri is outright broken on watches, doesn't fire at all most of the time
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 25 November 2018 20:07 (five years ago) link
"electric blankets"
i'm astonished these still exist. do they or are you kidding?
i need to make the first elective duvet.
my commercial song is gonna be a repurposed "electric guitar" if i can clear it somehow
― legit lib llc (check our patreon!) (Hunt3r), Sunday, 25 November 2018 20:20 (five years ago) link
elective, electric, whatever lol
― legit lib llc (check our patreon!) (Hunt3r), Sunday, 25 November 2018 20:22 (five years ago) link
― Jeff, Sunday, 25 November 2018 20:39 (five years ago) link
About 9,720 results for "electric duvet"
― Bing The Mighty Seat (sic), Sunday, 25 November 2018 20:48 (five years ago) link
i'm astonished these still exist. do they or are you kidding?as long as there are cold blankets there will be a device to warm them
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 25 November 2018 21:13 (five years ago) link
Itās working again on my series 4. I had given up on my previous series 2.it was absolutely fine on my series 3 until watchos 5
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 25 November 2018 21:15 (five years ago) link
google assistant is now available as a siri shortcut, so you can yell e.g. āhey google, i parked my car hereā into your watch and google maps will remember where you parked it
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 26 November 2018 10:52 (five years ago) link
Serious question: why are you guys all not bothered by having every sound you make in your homes spied on?
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 05:18 (five years ago) link
because1. network activity monitoring has shown iirc that they (at least googleās iirc) only scan locally for the wake word and donāt send any voice data to the mothership unless theyāre invoked2. i honestly canāt think of a trade-off that matters, given i have what 40 years left to live and will just waste it anyway3. phones everywhere are doing exactly the same thing all of the time
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 07:19 (five years ago) link
that said i would never buy one for anyone as a gift, that would be a really shitty thing to do
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 07:22 (five years ago) link
Sounds as though google is a bit better than alexa, then. Cheers.
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 08:27 (five years ago) link
yeah alexa got sprung recently for over-listening (canāt find the link i saw recently, but hereās another one from may)
― calamity gammon (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 08:38 (five years ago) link
i have what 40 years left to live and will just waste it anyway
my man
― sign up for my waterless urinals webinar (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 09:43 (five years ago) link
lol wait for it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVhFxxyXd0o
― In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 08:58 (four years ago) link
I got an Echo as a "welcome to the new office" gift 2.5 years ago (to cushion the blow of being relocated from Soho to a Z4 industrial estate, as far as I could tell). My gf also worked at the same place then, and now we live together, so we have two of these bastards. They continually fall off the wifi, and have to be powered off/on, which entirely defeats their only use, which is playing music while you're cooking/doing dishes/otherwise unable to fiddle with a touch-screen. The novelty of Alexa singing songs or telling lame jokes or ghost stories wore off for the kids after about six months.
Still, Amazon have a nice little archive of me saying "go fuck yourself" and "why is everything so shit" or "where are my fucking keys, eh? Tell me that" after the wake-word which I'm sure can be weaponised at some point.
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 11:53 (four years ago) link
gotta wifi those keys bruh
― maffew12, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 11:57 (four years ago) link
Surprised the Echo didn't just drop Ā£500 of home-security facial-recog tech into my Amazon basket so I never have to fumble for physical keys again. "I'll let you back in when you stop swearing at me".
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 12:01 (four years ago) link
all I do with these things now (alexa and google) is control lights, add stuff to shopping lists and play music (which on google is a major clusterfuck at least half the time). worth having around but I wouldnāt update unless these ones die.
― times ēčéŗµ (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 22:40 (four years ago) link
u people are mad letting these things in your homes
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Thursday, 5 December 2019 00:37 (four years ago) link
we have a five month old called hazel in the house, and sonos speakers with google voice support. saying 'goo goo goo' often sets them off - more worryingly, so does 'hey hazel', though it makes a slightly different beep and doesn't actually respond to any commands afterwards.
― The Pingularity (ledge), Thursday, 5 December 2019 10:54 (four years ago) link
I feel confident that Alexa won't send a random email out, it's not linked to my email account (other than through my amazon account). I'm pretty sure it doesn't have the function to just look up my contacts in google mail and send out an email.
― In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Thursday, 5 December 2019 11:03 (four years ago) link
No one will ever want to come to my house again once I get this new little robot.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 28 September 2021 21:28 (two years ago) link
Five and two year old at the table, two year old asks "hey google how does a sponge work"
"According to the website mayoclinic.org the contraceptive sponge is a type of birth control (contraceptive) that prevents sperm from entering the uterus. It is soft and disk-shaped and made of polyurethane foam. The contraceptive sponge contains spermicide, which kills sperm. Before having sex, you insert the sponge deep inside the vagina so that it covers the cervix. Your vaginal muscles hold it in place. The contraceptive sponge has a strap on one side for easier removal. The sponge can prevent pregnancy but doesn't protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs)."
― namaste darkness my old friend (ledge), Friday, 10 December 2021 14:53 (two years ago) link
lmao amazing
― rob, Friday, 10 December 2021 14:54 (two years ago) link
haha!
― towards fungal computer (harbl), Friday, 10 December 2021 14:56 (two years ago) link
hey google what is an upper decker
― my hands are always in my pockets or gesturing. (Karl Malone), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:38 (two years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/dec/29/amazons-alexa-child-penny-live-plug
― two sleeps till brooklyn (ledge), Thursday, 30 December 2021 08:35 (two years ago) link
Also belongs in a Darwin awards thread:The challenge began circulating on TikTok around a year ago and often results in the person getting electrocuted
― two sleeps till brooklyn (ledge), Thursday, 30 December 2021 08:36 (two years ago) link