pissing in bottles

i have pissed in bottles once or twice or three or four times when it was completely necessary like if you were a long------ distance trucker or on a stakeout
i had a serious problem with pissing in bottles (huge backlog of undrained piss bottles, capped and uncapped, and even------ cans and other vessels, strong sometimes overwhelming smell of stale urine, fruit flys, urine aging like armagnac from nearly clear to deep tawny brown and dissolved particulates growing and turning fuzzy like a kombucha mother.

I've never done it but have been in situations where I thought I would eventually have to

voted semi regularly

more often that i should have, at least

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman. Maybe I'm wrong and the laydeez of ilx will regale me with bottle-pissing tales? Definitely understand why someone might have to, don't understand why anyone would do it in their bedroom if the toilet's just down the hall and unoccupied.

never have.

i treat pissing in bottles like 7-Up
I never have, never will

Once or twice as a child, long road trips between CA and MS.

There used to be a betting shop I occasionally worked at as a relief manager that didn't have it's own toilet, if you needed a piss you had to close the shop and go up some stairs to the toilet next to the hairdressers. The regular manager there was a real scruffy bastard and was always leaving his piss bottles under the counter. This degenerate even complained to a director at the company that I "didn't have respect for other people's property" because I chucked his prized glass piss bottle into the bin outside. Oh such happy memories, they are bringing back fragrances I haven't smelled in a long time!

How is this not on ILTMI

Yes, I have pissed in a bottle but I prefer it in a can.

yeah canned piss loses a lot of the nutrients I find

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman.

Not massively practical for a man either in a confined space in a jerky vehicle, ie the only situation in which I've done it.

i'm imagining a car made entirely out of beef jerky

shame that Willy Wonka wasn't able to find the right consumer for that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0u6Lb6RCz4

I've definitely done this in car situations. During more rootless and stupid times I spent more time in cars than was strictly necessary for transportation. Bottle-pissing is probably among the more understandable/benign things we did in cars in those days, frankly.

I don't think I did this (much) in dorms or whatever, even though I had some pretty serious anxiety issues that otherwise made me reluctant to be seen/scrutinized by other people.

why would you need to do this in a dorm

definitely started doing this while in dorms. pretty serious anxiety issues that otherwise made me reluctant to be seen/scrutinized by other people.

could you pee in bottles in a dorm?
would you pee in bottles if it was warm?
could you pee in bottles on a train?
would you pee in bottles in the lane?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

good thread imo

semi-regularly for me.

when you are on a long drive w/ two little kids in the back seats who screamed for hours but are now sleeping peacefully there is no way you can stop the car. i keep an empty gallon jug or other bottle for this purpose. honestly i have filled up bottles up to 32 oz at times if i really have to piss

big gulp

in a 2 liter coke zero bottle with approximately 100 ml flat coke
copenhagen wintergreen spit
a plug of spent copenhagen wintergreen
ashes from three cigarettes
the butts of three cigarettes
approximately 500 ml of beery piss
leave uncapped for 2-5 days, pissing into it again to top it off
recycle the cap from a new bottle of coke zero, cap
place on windowsill

I don't care if you're Coca-Cola Dasani a Corona or a fucking Zima bottle from the back of my closet. If your bottles are cylindrical, my bladder is full, and whatever else, I'll piss in your bottles.

i found myself in a pee-bottle situation when i moved in to my last apartment. there were two other roommates, and i had to walk through the living room and kitchen to get to the bathroom. one roommate constantly had people over and i didn't feel like marching through their hang-outs all the time. so there was a little ledge outside my window i made use of. a little precarious but better than pissing in a bottle.

i can definitely see how it makes sense on road trips, but i guess i'm lucky that i never had to deal with kids and out here there's always a ranch exit with no one around when you really need it.

I went through a depression in my early 20s where I'd sit at my computer all day and piss in bottles rather than walk 10 feet to the bathroom. I also remember having 6 or 7 expired milk jugs in the fridge, and I didn't check my mailbox for so long that the carrier put tape over the box saying "full, do not deliver". :-(

let's keep it lighthearted here, okay?

happy times when you pissed in a bottle.

not to bring the room down or anything

what's the most bottles you amassed? did they get poured down the sink?

I think I'd empty them at night, in the sink. Milk was one thing but a collection of full pee bottles would have been a little much.

I once peed in a cup while driving on the Long Island Expressway because there was no bathroom in site and I was extremely desperate. Never a bottle though.

My first thought: collecting makes no sense whatsoever unless you're Howard Hughes.

My second thought: Keeping it lighthearted would be gr8 but it's hard to avoid discussing how someone might get into a spiral like "omigod if They see me enter a bathroom and hear me excreting They will know my shameful secret, that I am a human who eats and that I have a body with bodily functions; I just cannot handle that kind of attention/scrutiny right now omigod omigod."

Note that "They" here is a completely irrational nonspecific They. Obviously everyone else in the dorm (or whatever) is completely preoccupied with their own petty neuroses; no one is really ever that interested in scrutinizing someone else's movements (bowel or otherwise). But in someone under a mental cloud such as social anxiety, the wish to disappear and not be observed/noticed can take over and eclipse rational assessments of likelihood.

Just sayin. I am not aware of a lot of people who've amassed collections of pee bottles for light-hearted reasons.

All that said, mostly one would prefer wide-mouth bottles like Snapple or whatever, or at least like a plastic soda bottle. Not standard beer bottles, right? Presuming you had choices?

Longneck beer bottles r very hard to manage, especially in a car - DEFINITELY in a moving car.

the smell of piss in varying states of decay is no longer revolting to you and nobody is going to see the room and you don't really care, which is why there are bottles of piss all over but you realize in a moment of clarity or leaf-turning-over or something like shame that you should tidy up, but the collection has become unmanageable and disposal becomes increasingly difficult, as it involves carting out, furtively, plastic bottles and cans of piss, which may need special handling, if they've been stockpiled in a careless fashion.

did this once while driving back from Athens after a show.

have also done so while living in various living situations w multiple roommates and the bathroom is always in use.

probably did the depression room hermit thing too, a long time ago, and thankfully those days are behind me.

i have done this, when i had a roommate. standard beer/soda bottle is a disaster waiting to happen; you really need like a gatorade or malt liquor bottle with a wide mouth

not sure why you'd keep them -- unless you were living in a frank zappa song -- or dispose of the piss anywhere but in a toilet

good point! important reference material:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=207pbJQNl58

xpost Or use it to refill your waterbed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

i'm sure someone somewhere at some time has peed "meaningfully" into a cigar box. just felt like that needed to be dropped in this thread.

i never peed in bottles but story time

i have an extended uh ... relative? my uncle remarried and it was to this lady that had a son from a previous relationship

anyway her son was a total hillbilly and my cousins once found a large (i'm talking 22oz plus) bottle of pure unadulterated urine in his drawer

apparently he kept it there for a long time

wint ‏@dril 19 Sep 2013
i have been secretly collecting my roommate's piss for 7 years. i dont know what to do with all of these jars of piss. i am extremely scared

there was a particularly gruesome murder of a teenage girl in scotland when i was younger. her boyfriend was convicted of it and despite lots of circumstantial evidence pointing towards him the clincher for me to be convinced of his guilt was that his bedroom was full of bottles of his piss

Thread reminds me of the Neal Stephenson novel where a bunch of characters collect their piss and boil it down to phosphorus for weapons.

in that scenario piss actually has a purpose

"it's okay maww it's only piss bottles. keepin em for looks"

If you were regularly getting drug-tested via unobserved urine samples, getting some piss from like a 9-year-old boy might be smart. Just sayin.

Sounds like someone's been watching too much Withnail & I.

http://cdn3.volusion.com/6qo5y.ub6x4/v/vspfiles/photos/CCIB-2.jpg

'Trucker bombs' litter highways in Utah

Last year, UDOT estimates it removed upwards of 30,000 of these "trucker bombs" from the side of state highways.

I have done this. In May of 2013, the Toronto Maple Leafs were in overtime against the Boston Bruins in the seventh game of a series during which several goals were scored while I left the room to get ice or whatever.

Ten minutes later I had the occasion to pour one out (into the toilet) for my team, chased by blue & white tears.

Dude! I occassionally see piss bottles among the detritus lining streets/sidewalks and I'm (more uncosciously than consciously) like 'wtf'. Now I SEE xp

http://i.bnet.com/blogs/epcor_edmonton_water_usage_flush_olympic_gold_game.jpg

wonder how much of this involved bottles

it is cool to live in a golden era of sanitation. i read a bunch of books on medieval history this year and this point kept coming up. we have become wizards of disposal.

Have you read History of Shit by Laporte?

golden era of showers

In the English translation of the book by Nadia Benabid and Rodolphe el-Khoury in 1993, el-Khoury explains how for Laporte, "the history of shit becomes the history of subjectivity

Will read, thanks Emily!

It doesn't really seem practical for a woman. Maybe I'm wrong and the laydeez of ilx will regale me with bottle-pissing tales? Definitely understand why someone might have to, don't understand why anyone would do it in their bedroom if the toilet's just down the hall and unoccupied.

― emil.y, Thursday, October 20, 2016 8:32 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In times of need on long car trips, my wife will piss in a dunkin donuts cup or, if unavailable, cut the top off of an empty water bottle using a knife and piss in that. Using the former method, you can just put it in a cup holder until the next rest stop. The latter method, since the bottle cap has been cut off, necessitates emptying the contents out of the window (we do not litter the bottle). It's pretty disgusting, but I guess she's got a small bladder.

Have you read History of Shit by Laporte?

― emil.y, Thursday, October 20, 2016 3:51 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thanks for the recommendation! i went to Amazon and immediately bought it.

For the ladies...
http://www.backpacker.com/skills/the-complete-guide-to-female-urination-devices/

I voted semi-reg, and noticed that no one has mentioned camping. When camping I used to get up at night, get semi-dressed, go to the toilet and then return to bed. One day I tried pissing in a bottle without leaving the tent, and my life was changed! I bring a laundry detergent bottle with the spout insert pulled out, which gives a wide mouth, large capacity (64 oz I think), and is sealable. I have never looked back.

or you could just put pants on and amble outside and piss on a tree

lifehacks

why put pants on, shoes are good though. personally i couldn't be in a tent with a container of my own piss unless it was sub-30 outside.

which would literally never happen to me because i only go camping once every other summer solstice.

DJ'ing alone while drinking took me there

Cold weather was the main reason, but the convenience is plenty reason now. The bottle seals so it's not like I have a urine potpourri in my tent.

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

imo it's time to practice doing this without looking so you can perfect your playstation vr sessions

have pissed into a nalgene d/t camping in real cold weather, into a bottle while in a car and w/o any easy way to just pull over the shoulder (traffic jam), and into a bottle while at an outdoor sporting event where walking to the toilet would've meant a ten minute round trip and missing the action (this was also on live tv)

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

― nickn, Thursday, October 20, 2016 4:31 PM

ah, the Brian Eno maneuver

get a jug

tape it to your peter

live free and/or die hard

tape it to your peter

live free and/or die hard

but seriously i've peed in close to icy cold temperatures and i've never needed any bottle

uh yellow snow anyone?

Also a couple times while watching something on TV (live, with no DVR) I've accessed a handy jug.

― nickn, Thursday, October 20, 2016 4:31 PM

ah, the Brian Eno maneuver

― aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu (melting robot) (WilliamC)

Here comes the warm jet.

golden hours

I think I did this once but can't recall the circumstances.. probably for the best. maybe it was a dream.

Step 1, cut a hole in a jug, Step 2, put your dick in that jug, Step 3, then you pee in that jug

http://allthingsd.com/files/2013/03/timberlake380.jpg

i did this in a dorm room when i was desperately trying to finish a paper and for some reason had to piss like every 15 minutes. they all got emptied later in the day once the paper was done. frappuccino bottles have pretty wide mouths.

Think I've pissed in bottles but can't think when.
Have certainly given samples in small containers.

Have seen how to make a woman's pee device out of a milk or other large, handled bottle. & known people who've used them.

Did that jenkems high thing involve collecting both liquid and solid human waste and waiting for it to mature. Or was that all just a hoax?

Don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them

Mike Watt, in his seminal explainer about the efficacy of pissing in a bottle while touring to ensure you make the gig, insisted that cutting the lid off the bottle was essential. This would force you to tip the piss out of the window onto the highway immediately, instead of putting the lid back on and leaving the bottle on the passenger seat, where it could become bleached by the sun and mistaken later by a fatigued driver for clear, refreshing water.

MikeWattVEVO - Piss-Bottle Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

Great song, but this is the third time it's been posted.

ah, can't tell on zing - that's why I also posted what it was, so nobody else would have to :-/

System should auto-FP anyone who posts an embed or t.co link with no context tbh

Somewhere Mike Watt is wondering why he's suddenly getting so many plays on that track. No one tell him, plz

System should auto-FP anyone who posts an embed or t.co link with no context tbh

― sad, hombres (sic), Friday, October 21, 2016 8:45 AM (three hours ago)

OTM.

Oh man - I didn't see that someone else had posted it before me. Whoops.

I did that in boarding school. Not remembering the bathroom as particularly far from my room but whatevs

System should auto-FP anyone who posts an embed or t.co link with no context tbh

― sad, hombres (sic), Friday, October 21, 2016 8:45 AM (three hours ago)

OTM.

― emil.y, Friday, 21 October 2016 11:22 (three hours ago) Permalink

^^

I wonder what the context of a song called "piss bottle man" could be in a thread about piss bottles

hilarious that video has been posted thrice

Uh, that's not the issue. The issue is that a) people often have images off and don't want to click through to see what the youtube is, but in not doing so risk repeating somebody else's idea/joke, and b) links break, videos get pulled down, so future thread readers will have no idea what people were responding to.

xp

"Context" in this, uh, context, is naming what you are posting in the body of your post.

I didn't realize that people often have images off tbh. I think the thread was collapsed so I didn't see it when I scrolled through.

Anyway, noted.

Any thoughts on jenkem.
Apparently it did have some reality in Zambia before becoming a rumour in the US elsewhere.
Just thinking in the light of people talking about collecting bottles etc

everyone does it. an auto fp might work but strikes the wrong tone imo. i'm a librarian/archivist so for me it's more about giving a clue for a disappeared link "seven years later".

um xpost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk

just came here to post this

Ha, I don't really think people should be auto-FPd for it. I just find it annoying. A third reason - if it's a list thread people will often CTRL + F to find if their suggestion has been said before, and youtubes with no description don't show up for that either.

I guess I don't mind it if it's a silly reaction video, but if it's a song or a genuine response to a topic it's better for everyone if there's a description.

Anyway, I appear to have been serious multiple times in a thread about pissing in bottles. Resume dirtbag discussions.

children pissing in bottles - c or d

Pissing in a bottle in front of a baby c/d

I wonder what the context of a song called "piss bottle man" could be in a thread about piss bottles

I didn't realize that people often have images off tbh

on Zing, any video embed is a tiny 1.1mm high icon of a film projector

that, if you click through to load it and find out what it is, will crash the thread when you go back to continue reading

and chew up a bunch of data if you're on the train or in the loo at work, rather than at home - just to read the title of the song or discover that it's an irrelevant non sequitur "lol epic fail"

emily and matt have votm points about list threads (these have been almost completely useless on ILX for years*) and link rot

*even on a browser, if you're sensibly using a Flashblock

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

how big a bottle do you use? Anything smaller than 1L do you have fear that you'll overflow and unable to stop? It's harder to stop halfway through than to just hold it all in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7M3EEHYkJ0

somewhat related

http://www.wikihow.com/Pee-in-a-Bottle

http://i.imgur.com/iVdmfgo.jpg

"Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft..."

how big a bottle do you use? Anything smaller than 1L do you have fear that you'll overflow and unable to stop? It's harder to stop halfway through than to just hold it all in

― ^ 諷刺 (ken c), Sunday, October 23, 2016 8:16 PM (yesterday) Bookmark

when I peed I rarely overflowed a growler

There's a long passage in "Corelli's Mandolin" where the portly village priest has to pee, but can't leave his sacristy due to some social embarrassment. His only recourse is some nearby bottles of communion wine. However, the bottles are full. So he feels decides to drink a bottle so as to have a place to put his urine. So far so good, but then he has a further problem, because he's just chugged a bottle of wine, and urgently needs to urinate again. So he needs to drink another bottle to make room for the pee. By the third bottle of wine he is hopelessly enmeshed in this vicious circle.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

impressive turnout

I once peed in a BAG on a long bus trip because I knew the bottle wasn't big enough which is far worse.

Why couldn't the priest just pour the wine out? Jeez.

ive witnessed a woman piss into a can (sawn off by penknife to a deathly serrated cylinder) in a violently rocking caravan in a storm and thought it quite the most risky venture id seen in some time iirc

ive pissed in a bottle. it was tough.

but not as tough as shitting into a rockpool.

why would you understand pissing in a bottle? urine doesn't harm the environment friends

i've watered plenty of bushes/forests

About twenty years ago a pal and I got trashed anticipating with dread the U2 Popmart concert. We cut it awfully close, boarding our friend's van without pissing first. Five minutes into the 25-minute drive, I thought my bladder would burst. In retrospect I should have asked him to pull over. Taking advantage of sitting by myself in the cab, I found a quarter full anti-freeze bottle, unscrewed the cap, and thrust in my cock.

My other friend, a young woman, saw my expression of ecstasy and numbness. "What's the matter with you? What's with your face?"

"I guess I'm nervous about the show."

Taking advantage of sitting
by myself in the cab
I found a quarter full
anti-freeze bottle
Unscrewed the cap
and thrust in my cock

And there's a heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all

OTFM

where is Neanderthal appreciation thread?

Taking advantage of sitting
by myself in the cab
I found a quarter full
anti-freeze bottle
Unscrewed the cap
and thrust in my cock

Forgive me
it was delicious
so sweet
and so cold

So much depends upon
A quarter-full anti-freeze bottle
Beside the whit chickens

I keep wondering why the cab had an antifreeze bottle in the car, like where passengers sit.

Whose antifreeze I think I know
(In the trunk it should be though)
Unscrewed, I see it full to a quarter
It would, I think, accept more water.

Becabbed, as lonely as a rock,
Advantageously I free my cock.
Into the plastic neck I thrust
And urinate as need I must

Against the antifreeze piss pings
And on my shaft the droplets sting
My young friend marks my ecstasy,
Inquiring how it came to be.

I guess I'm nervous about the show,
I guess I'm nervous about the show.

I keep wondering why the cab had an antifreeze bottle in the car, like where passengers sit.

― Brevs Mekis (dandydonweiner

I meant I had a seat to myself in the back; my friend owned one of those mid '80s Dodge vans.

Those type of vintage vans always had loose stuff like antifreeze bottles rolling loose in them. I guess that's another thread tho.

It is threads like this that restore my faith in ILX each and every time I venture in.

TS: pissing in bottles vs. pissing in jeans.

I dig pissing in bottles
And I love to get the chance to spray
I figure it's about the happiest sound goin' down today

TS: pissing in bottles vs. pissing in jeans.

― nickn, Tuesday, October 25, 2016 10:53 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You may've won this bottle but bet your ass you won't win the wart

well this was a first I didn't expect to add to my repertoire last night

in my defense though I had attempted to piss in the local convenience store which of course had a huge sign over its bathrooms saying "out of order" and none other nearby.

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e174/conedust/wattpissbot.jpg

isn't that like the fifth or sixth time that song has been posted itt?

http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2017/04/27/theres-an-instagram-account-devoted-to-piss-jugs-in-akron

https://www.instagram.com/akrontruckerbombs/ aka piss jugs in akron

At this point, do you actively search them out? Can you not drive down the road at any given time and not be scoping out every Coke bottle on the side of the street and wondering what's inside?

PJoA: I wouldn't say I actively look for them, they are everywhere. If I see a bottle and it looks suspicious I give it a second look and if it's a piss jug I document it.

pissed in the sand this past weekend

in and on actually haha

hello pissboy in the sand

i once took a shit directly into a fast flowing river from a distance of like 2 inches and watched the jobbie float away downstream

just fyi

guy who used to live in my old neighborhood would, while laying in the park at night, flip over to face the opposite direction to people and take a piss, then zip up and flip back over.

bizarrely he appears on the cover of this elton john album:

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_500/MI0003/641/MI0003641854.jpg

feel like la lechera needs to see this latest revive but am not really comfortable saying 'you should check out the piss bottle thread'

Is this place at my command

Hello pissboy in the dust
Is your bladder about to bust.

Standing on a beach with my junk in my hand, staring at the sea, staring at the sand. I am the pisser.

Jim rivershitting is the high point of this thread imo

When you spend a lot of time outdoors away from buildings and roads, you inescapably will piss in nature when you need to piss. But then, all of nature pisses in nature. It's normal. Piss bottles are a whole 'nother thing entirely.

better late than never

http://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-warehouse-workers-have-to-pee-into-bottles-2018-4