EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

EXCELSiant MOMcial Commentary

― welltris (crüt), Friday, 15 January 2016 16:52 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

social MOMmentary

― Saoirse birther (darraghmac), Friday, 15 January 2016 18:02 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mom-enter-y faps of thee, son

― sounding like a silly Iain Banks on a track (imago), Friday, 15 January 2016 18:08 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fucking hell somebody start a new thread please

― Copy rights, pleasing all star wars fans, hiring professionals. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 January 2016 18:22 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0njs6iiwjY

lol

google coombes get lolz

aw yea

This may be the least of its problems, but Labyrinth is on UK television right now and WHO TOLD JENNIFER CONNELLY SHE COULD ACT?

― jedi slimane (suzy), Sunday, January 24, 2016 6:00 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Um...

― Hang Onto Your Selfie (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, January 24, 2016 6:01 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, who cares if she can or not, eh boys ;)

― The Return of the Thin White Pope (Tom D.), Sunday, January 24, 2016 6:07 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://assets.vice.com/content-images/contentimage/194024/Screen-Shot-2014-10-22-at-12-28-52.jpg

― glumdalclitch, Sunday, January 24, 2016 6:15 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

uh, is anyone watching this live feed from inside the standoff? http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/watch-live-feed-from-inside-the-standoff-at-oregon-wildlife-refuge

i'm listening to it one ear as i work and it's fascinating. some of them appear to be recording their final statements for their family.

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, January 27, 2016 1:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then you have little snippets of conversation like "we came, we were peaceful....and now we're gonna fuck shit up", followed by some old guy going "yes sir"

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, January 27, 2016 1:55 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they're discussing when they should go to the bathroom. one guy just said he's been known to shit himself

i bet all of this is actually very similar to off the record founding father conversations

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, January 27, 2016 1:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gold

oh goddammit meant to put this on ILM

― Darin, Monday, February 1, 2016 10:31 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'll move this conversation over there. If an admin feels like locking this, please do.

― Darin, Monday, February 1, 2016 10:33 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

seems like an ILM poll to me

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, February 1, 2016 11:09 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lock and I don't wanna be harsh here but a lifetime ban wouldn't be out of order rly

― broderik f (darraghmac), Monday, February 1, 2016 1:18 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

um I hope you're kidding

― Darin, Monday, February 1, 2016 1:35 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Uh oh cleanup on aisle 51

I really don't understand this place sometimes

I bleev the most of the joke here is my curmudgeonly stance towards ilm and everything to do with ilm I wouldn't worry bout it

i for one laughed at the idea of Darin totally fucking up and everyone being so mad at Darin.

I've seen people get really pissed about users not using search functions etc, so you never know!

ugh good work ruining the excelsior thread, darin. ban darin.

Yeah I've done a full 360 now ban darin

oh well I had a good run. RIP

tell to the judge son

wow Darin will be missed

was on Team Darin tbh. now on Team No Mercy for Darin.

unban Darin

free Darin

Did you used to post as darin?

ugh this board has gone totally downhill since darin stopped posting here

guys, I've unbanned Darin

i am darin

Fake darin

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?attachmentid=155456&stc=1&d=1266638255

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o723XZB-hnM/TrO2D8Me_mI/AAAAAAAAACY/30rVRhG-T8U/s1600/Il+paesaggio+interioreFile4029.jpg

Missed chance for a spacey pic imo

yeah markers didn't even get a shot

(7 years pass)

I just saw on Facebook that Darin died

I stand with Darin make America great again don't listen to the MSM libtards like darraghmac

je suis darin

look if we're honest with ourselves, we are all darin, each of us, and each of us is responsible in a way for what happened to him.

MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) is an organic sulfur compound that's naturally derived during the earth's

Ffs I can't believe darin got banned over this

darout with the old, darin with the new.

Did they ever ban Don Derun?

Patriots Nation may have forgotten -- or at least is trying to forget -- Aaron Hernandez, but the tight-end-turned-convicted-murderer hasn't forgotten Patriots Nation.
In a letter to a prison pen pal obtained by TMZ, the incarcerated Hernandez says he watches the Pats games from a TV in a cell and "still [roots] for my squad and still [loves] all the ones I loved."

But he no longer loves one of the ones he loved, describing owner Robert Kraft as "fake ass [and] non loyal," saying Kraft "told me he loved me every time he seen me but obviously shows his word ain't [crap]."

Kraft testified against Hernandez in the trial in which the ex-Patriot was convicted of murdering his former friend, Oden Lloyd.

But he has good words for others, like . . .

Tom Brady: "The closest I was with was probably Brady and whom I love to death and always will and only hope the best for them.”

Rob Gronkowski: “The BEST TE ever to walk on a football field”

Julian Edelman and Deion Branch: "[Was] cool with Julez, Branch (I [bleeped] with and got mad love for)"

Hernandez started the letter by blasting his pen pal -- a woman named Rachel -- for criticizing him and went on to suggest ways she could kill herself:

-- “Tie a cinderblock to your ankles and jump in a deep body of water,” Hernandez writes.

-- “Buy the most powerful firecracker in the world that’s possible to buy, tie it to your face with duct tape, light it and wait for your head to explode.”

But he ends by saying he hopes she "had the best of holidays" . . . though the letter is dated Dec. 15, 10 days before Christmas.

― nomar, Monday, February 1, 2016 11:02 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This Charming Man just popped into my head

― its subtle brume (DJP), Monday, February 1, 2016 12:36 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I would go out tonight
But I'm doing life for murder one

Forks: Son, we live in a world that has music, and that music has to be organized into playlists. Who's gonna do it? You? You, mattresslessness? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for musicians, and you curse Spotify. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the royalties issue, while *~~controversial~~*, probably led to more music purchases indirectly. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, leads to more music purchases. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me making those playlists, you need me on ILM. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of music streaming issues. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very playlists that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide them. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a pair of headphones, and listen. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

― nomar, Friday, February 5, 2016 2:42 PM (13 minutes ago)

https://media.giphy.com/media/SbG5YxoG1lwZi/giphy.gif

From the why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk? thread:

The FB macro:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/cb/9f/15/cb9f15e5494e95c79311f1b4a2db632b.jpg

The rejoinder:

"One time, my fifth grade teacher led a donkey into the classroom and fed it a creamed corn casserole. I have remembered that moment for the rest of my life."

― pplains, Saturday, February 6, 2016 8:24 AM (1 hour ago)

Anytime I hear about people being enthusiastically pro-Clinton I just wonder wtf world they were living in the 90s.
I was a college student who became a software engineer. It was a pretty cushy world to live in.

― its subtle brume (DJP), Monday, 8 February 2016 22:50 (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was a kid playing Legend of the Red Dragon on various BBSs. always blamed Bill for my lack of prowess on that and other door games.

― gaz coombes? yo he don't got NUTHIN ta prove! (Neanderthal), Monday, 8 February 2016 22:51 (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/uhxObM8.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/uhxObM8.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/uhxObM8.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/uhxObM8.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/uhxObM8.gif

― pplains, Wednesday, February 10, 2016 10:51 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nice

Did I spot Benjamin Netanyahu in there?

lol hadn't read that thread but this is a great touch

You, mattresslessness?

Didn't even realize this was the new excelsior thread until just now. I presumed it was just something else from the AFL crew.

the AFL crew operates in a higher spiritual plane, one that is way beyond my ability to comprehend

I thought the AFL broke up years ago.

i hope bey uses a legit old school hot sauce and not one of those new boutique dr. diahrrea's nuclear habanerogeddon sauce

― uptown garfunkel (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, February 10, 2016 5:00 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

AFL is just a bit of fun... Happy to come along for the ride... leave comprehension for onion av club

I don't know who this Tyra person is, but her makeup and facial expressions combined make her look quite scary!

― Tuomas, Tuesday, October 7, 2008 8:32 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

okay youre fake

― Bright Future (sunny successor), Tuesday, October 7, 2008 12:25 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

v old but so funny

(Removed a couple in between)

that's right, you weren't engaging. sorry, my thoughts are deeper than others'.

― Comprehensive Nuclear Suggest-Ban Treaty (benbbag), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, I guess if I gaf about what other people (pretend to) think is the spirit of the thread i just would have laughed at a bunch of the inclusions(/omissions) and moved on

― Comprehensive Nuclear Suggest-Ban Treaty (benbbag), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how deep are your thoughts? I really mean to learn

― gaz coombes? yo he don't got NUTHIN ta prove! (Neanderthal), Monday, February 15, 2016 8:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/02/16/sleep-well-baby-boomers-the-millennials-arent-taking-over-politics-yet/?tid=sm_tw

The aforementioned race being that for the presidency, and the unsettling referring to the disruption that's been unsettling baby boomers the country over: The decreasing demographic dominance of America's once-largest generation. "For the first time," reporter Janet Hook writes in her lead, "millennials will match baby boomers as a share of the electorate." Oh my God, boomers think, as they try to catch their breaths. What is this country coming to? Will they elect ... a selfie stick??
― flappy bird, Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:19 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes. Yes they will.

― its subtle brume (DJP), Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:20 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Selfie Stick/Eyebrows On Fleek '16

― its subtle brume (DJP), Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:21 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Every time I see this thread I'm reminded of Lee Coombs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvdiBT4Zho

i feel like spielberg is sometimes too quick to clarify things that might be better left uncertain for a few more scenes.

― wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, December 15, 2015 1:31 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i actually watched a screener of this & it's weird but at the bottom it didn't have the standard PROPERTY OF SONY PICTURES or whatever disclaimer it just said DO U SEE ??? in caps lock

― bloat laureate (schlump), Saturday, January 23, 2016 12:11 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You'd have thought God's Not Dead would have been a definitive statement unto itself. The fact that they needed a sequel casts some doubt on the veracity of their argument. God's Not Dead 2: No, Seriously, Just Hear Us Out

― maybe my clam is just more toxic (Old Lunch), Saturday, February 20, 2016 11:42 AM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

An older one I just saw:

The song is about being young and discovering sex. You need to look a bit deeper in the lyrics to find the meaning.

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled
Was the summer of '69

MEANING - he is talking about masturbation here. the six string is his "guitar" and the reference to 5 and dime refers to his hands (5 and 10 fingers). he "played it" till his fingers "bled" means he really got after it in that he masturbated so much it like hurt.

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit, Jody got married
Shoulda known, we'd never get far

MEANING - here he has discovered group masturbation. "had a band" refers to his little group "tried real hard" means they really went after it. two of his friends move on and they no longer do it. he seems a bit sad that they did not progress or "get far" which probably means he was looking for a little something more.

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenings down at the drive-in
And that's when I met you

MEANING - he keeps a positive attitude because he has a "job" to do meaning he needs to touch himself again. so he spent his nights at some "drive-in" and it is unclear here if he is talking about drive in movies that might very well be pornographic or he is talking about a drive in fast food place where he sits in the car watching.

Standin' on your mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

MEANING - once again he has found someone to masturbate with. apparently this person reaches climax faster than he does so they reassure him they will "wait forever" but wait what happens next ? that person then holds his "hand" (penis) and he knew he could no longer wait and climaxes - wow those were great times he thinks the best days of his life.

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no

MEANING - they were "killin' time" and were "young and restless" because they were basically bored and did not have cable television or the internet or anything so what did they do ? then "needed to unwind" meaning they needed to masturbate so that is how they killed time.

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I play that old six-string
Think about you wonder what went wrong

MEANING - they grow up and get older and he reflects on things that have "come and gone" but sometimes, probably when he is alone, he whips out "that old six-string" and thinks about his buddy or buddies.

Back in the summer of '69
Un-huh
It was the summer of '69, oh yeah
Me and my baby in '69, oh

MEANING - This is a reference to the sexual position "69" where two people come together for oral sex and resemble the letters 6 and 9 together. look at the number 69 and imagine two people facing each other but turned 180 degrees. the position allows for mutual direct access to each others sexual parts for mutual gratification. So there it is "the summer of 69" has nothing to do with 1969 it is basically a fond reflection on group masturbation.

― ship who you wanna ship (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, August 23, 2013 11:47 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

basically every genius page

haha I forgot that post but it was great

When I Was A Child, I Spoke As A Child, I Understood As A Child, I Thought As A Child, But You Won't Believe What Came Next (VIDEO)

― Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha bravo

I sent some chocolate to a girl from the internet once

― Soon all logins will look like this (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 4:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a guy from the internet sent me chocolate once

― nomar, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 4:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

When I Was A Child, I Spoke As A Child, I Understood As A Child, I Thought As A Child, But You Won't Believe What Came Next (VIDEO)

― Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Option ARMs and de Man (s.clover), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 3:54 PM (6 hours ago)

Basically this whole thread has taken an excellent turn towards EXCELSIOR (I have tried to play my part in it but other posters have set a high bar):

"and that's okay" / "and here's why"

u are doing quite well imho

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CchcB-aW0AAx5Oi?format=pjpg&name=large

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, March 2, 2016 9:31 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1) 10 dads
2) there are 10 of them
3) if u count the dads, u will count from 1 to 10
4) they are 10 times as big as regular dads

― get a long, little doggy (m bison), Wednesday, March 2, 2016 10:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haaaaa wtf even is a 10x dad.

Well, m bison already answered that, I guess.

http://www.amazon.com/The-10X-Rule-Difference-Between/dp/0470627603

Oh, okay, so a 10x dad is a living nightmare.

Trump is not really a template one can copy, and if future GOP fields are just a little stronger it will be harder for a personality cult like his to dominate. Even if Marco Rubio comes back in four or eight years looking less like a joke, which I think is probable.

Ah what the hell I jumped threads.

I don't know, the idea of Marco Rubio not looking like a joke is pretty funny

Maybe he'll grow a mustache or something.

Dress up like little old lady and go to Trump rally to heckle

we should poll ilx and see how many secret trump voters we have

― Mordy, Thursday, March 3, 2016 11:44 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Morbs is, right?

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, March 3, 2016 11:46 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

congrats Mordy and Sotosyn, for beating Pollitt, Steinem & Co to the lib-fascist punch

also go fuck each other

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, March 3, 2016 12:02 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's not a no

― Mordy, Thursday, March 3, 2016 12:04 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

not lolzy but tbf to Morbs, he promptly provided an emphatic "NO" afterward

misread that and thought they were saying "that's not a no" to fucking each other

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jzdylh0vz-U/hqdefault.jpg

another Chuck Tingle tingler

Secret Trump Voter Accuser Reamed In The Butt By His Twin Secret Trump Voter Accuser And A Living Billionaire Hairpiece

Yeah that was my first reading

"and that's okay" / "and here's why" has a seriously seriously excellent lol:non-lol ratio. it's reminding me of another thread i can't place that also involved a lot of excellent english major jokes, riffing on something besides clickbait articles though. rrrrgh what was it.

Wasn't there an ilxor poetry thread or something?

I want to do another poetry contest tbh

The sheer WTFness of how this concluded has actually had me laughing out loud for the last five minutes:

i think if you live to be 400 you might be 20% as witty as you think you are.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius),

You've already made it to 40 and are 100 percent as predictable as you hoped to be.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, March 3, 2016 8:30 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE BALDING?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, March 3, 2016 8:33 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Full convo is funny to me.

i think if you live to be 400 you might be 20% as witty as you think you are.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius),

You've already made it to 40 and are 100 percent as predictable as you hoped to be.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:30 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also I'd consider The Big Short, though not very good, to be a far more interesting film than Clouds.

― Insane Prince of Fals

Nah. If I want people shouting obvious things to me in a witty way that I'll eventually tune out, I want Morbs to do it, not characters written by the director of Anchorman.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:31 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE BALDING?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:33 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*sips wine*

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, March 4, 2016 1:37 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes.

http://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2015/1/23/1422018496061/WILLIAM-BUCKLEYGORE-VIDAL-011.jpg

oh well sorry the guardian

http://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2015/1/23/1422018496061/WILLIAM-BUCKLEYGORE-VIDAL-011.jpg

doc casino: the lysol douche thread?
vadge horror stories

hrmrrmmrm.... no.... damn, what WAS it?

the AV Club thread?

ICP Miracles thread

fire, water, air and dirt / fukkin magnets / how do they work?

YES that's it

oh this is where we did the poems

― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Friday, September 4, 2015 10:04 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

i haven't considered myself a Democrat since the moment Mondale crowed that he wouldnt share anti-missile weaponry with the Soviets, but i'll have my bayonet ready for the civil war.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Saturday, March 5, 2016 11:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

good morning! Has the civil war started?

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, March 6, 2016 7:38 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Morbz stuck me w his bayonet, leaned in and whispered "tell Mondale I'll see him in hell"

― robbie ca$hflo (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, March 6, 2016 7:48 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

kinda lame to lump actually useful smartphone apps in w derivative securities

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, March 8, 2016 10:21 AM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what about candy crush

― van damme death warrant (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, March 8, 2016 10:27 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more like candy crush the working class

― micro brewbio (crüt), Tuesday, March 8, 2016 10:29 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they made that in sweden

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, March 8, 2016 10:30 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Cåndy Crøsh

― van damme death warrant (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, March 8, 2016 10:31 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg

Needs Tuomas's follow-up.

"What is Candy Crush"? "What is an app"?

Kinda disappointed to see this only a few posts after I told you there's no "ø" letter in Swedish, I expected better of ILX.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, March 8, 2016 5:43 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There you go..

Expecting Better of ILX - Search/Destroy

Linklater hasn't tried to be ambitious.

ten-year film not enough for you, huh?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:22 AM (54 minutes ago)

The Newton Boys was more ambitious.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:23 AM (53 minutes ago)

weird

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:27 AM (49 minutes ago)

I mean, that period piece was more of a stretch than a movie set in Texas following a boy through adolescence. It's not better than Boyhood.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:28 AM (48 minutes ago)

Either of ye ever just enjoy a movie

― Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:28 AM (48 minutes ago)

posts very much in excelsior

lol

see THAT is peak deems

Hey woah I'm way too young for this lifetime award shit

they've come to bury you not to praise you

Thats the vibe a fella would get alright

docking you a point for not going with "fillum" there

and a "ye" not in a Kanye thread

I've been trained outta that but kudos for evening knowing where to look

xp not lying, "can ye West" was attempted as an obamaesque rallying cry to my poor impoverished region by a couple of farmer politicians a few years back. Nobody got it except those kind enough to let on they didn't get it.

is that true? jesus

Might even have been canya look I don't even want to revisit

docking you a point for not going with "fillum" there

― tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Wednesday, March 16, 2016 2:26 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

isn't that more Geordie than Irish?

/no racism

You're confusing black Irish with black-and-white Irish maybe?

Geordie would be "picture", I recks.

any of ye ever just enjoy an excelsior?

ha

what's a jimmy nail? he said fillum

have we discussed Trumps anti-Hilary ad where she goes "arf! arf! arf! arf!" like she's in the freakin' dog police

― frogbs, Wednesday, March 16, 2016 5:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i said "this is going to be really unpleasant" and then we all comforted ourselves with some good ol intra-left bickering

― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, March 16, 2016 5:33 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it was a grim lol, but a lol nonetheless

is the lol something to do with associating Clinton with the left?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35829251

Paul Daniels

― nate woolls, Thursday, 17 March 2016 08:53 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:-(

― ailsa, Thursday, 17 March 2016 09:05 (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know

― nate woolls, Thursday, 17 March 2016 09:09 (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's like every single day now.

― koogs, Thursday, 17 March 2016 09:15 (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like to think they'll saw his coffin in half at the funeral, just for old times sake

― François Pitchforkian (NickB), Thursday, 17 March 2016 09:34 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Old school lols (i.e. I can understand it).

i thought of a game where you have to maintain eye contact with faces contorted into expressions of grotesque agony and pain, thus causing them, gradually, to grow peaceful and content, and as you successfully progress the game keeps adding more and more faces in greater and greater excruciation until they are appearing too fast for you to look at any single one of them for long before your line of sight is obscured by a cluster of new, screaming faces, and you either a) quit or b) stop trying to process/heal every face and instead swerve your neck around trying for no particular reason to hold onto one or two specific ones until the game abruptly ends with no score or "achievements"

second idea: mario in the boo house

― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Friday, March 18, 2016 11:59 AM (5 hours ago)

cross-ref to striking imagery

i bet he won't even get out. he has displayed very little skill to building a voting base outside of college students and very little savvy about what is required to have a democratic revolution (hint: it involves getting other ppl besides himself elected). i actually registered Dem so i could vote for him in PA but i've since switched back to Hill.

― Mordy, Friday, March 18, 2016 11:31 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel like you're expecting a bit much of a presidential candidate, honestly

― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, March 18, 2016 11:33 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he said that changing this country is going to require a political revolution to flip congress. i don't think it's asking too much for him to lead the revolution he's running on.

― Mordy, Friday, March 18, 2016 11:34 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mordy and his Troupe of Strawmen, Sunday night on The Ed Sullivan Show

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 18, 2016 11:34 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

say revolution one more time and Berniejuice appears

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, March 18, 2016 11:35 AM (38 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[Rubio] has graft all over him, good riddence. however I still liked him more than cruz or trump

― akm

how do you feel about bucket of vomit vs. pile of shit

― Οὖτις

at least with bucket of vomit, you get a bucket

― akm

I was referring specifically to Inside Out, where the main characters are all literally one dimensional emotions

― Οὖτις, Monday, March 21, 2016 9:21 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're meant to put the glasses on

― kinder, Monday, March 21, 2016 9:27 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahahahahah

Lol accepted

gonna have to get all Flatlanders on you all aren't I

(j/k it's a good one)

Snyder isn't evenhalf the kind of visionary director Nolan is.

― akm, Tuesday, March 22, 2016 2:17 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's still another nine months for something else to beat this as the saddest sentence I read in 2016.

― Horse Throat (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 22, 2016 2:26 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"They don't play with even half the passion and intensity of a Hoobastank."

― Horse Throat (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 22, 2016 2:27 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OL on fire today

sucker punch just plays like a gross ass bro's rape fantasy. nothing redeemable about that movie.

― kurt schwitterz, Tuesday, March 22, 2016 12:51 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"ass bro"?

― wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, March 22, 2016 1:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

They were a well-regarded toy company in the '80s before they altered their name and veered off in a direction their shareholders weren't crazy about.

― I Can Say I Know We're Risin' Underneath The Blazin' Sky (Old Lunch), Tuesday, March 22, 2016 1:04 PM (1 second ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Shamefully, this gave me irl lol:

maybe the other important question is why the white house decided to make mexican food for the president of mexico

― μpright mammal (mh)

good move, those people love that shit

― Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins)

caucuses really are archaic in terms of their rules, it's just bizarre. crowds of people shuffling from one area of a room to another.

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, March 23, 2016 11:52 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

have you ever been to a Shoney's buffet?

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, March 23, 2016 11:53 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Stapp xpost made me think "I'd buy tickets for a Mark E Smith-fronted AC/DC tour."

"The velocity of her machine-ah was astonishing; the gleam of her motor's components blinding; such a specimen of the gender-ah was previously unbeknownst to me. Too right, right-ah."

― hardcore dilettante, Friday, March 25, 2016 2:24 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=77&threadid=82861

not the same, imo.

How is 77 thesedays?

From this ILE thread...

lol the exact quote from the movie, thanks to a review:

"“He has the power to wipe out the human race. And if we think that there’s even a one percent chance that he’s our enemy, we have to treat it as an absolute certainty.”

Batman actually says this.

― Neanderthal, Friday, March 25, 2016 10:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

uhh wrong thread

― Neanderthal, Friday, March 25, 2016 10:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"uhh wrong thread"

― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Friday, March 25, 2016 10:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

From the "I Always Get Those Two Mixed Up" thread:

Gotye and goatse.cx
― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, December 14, 2015 11:29 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the next post is the 6,666th one

― Iago Galdston, Thursday, March 31, 2016 4:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fartz

― Karl Malone, Thursday, March 31, 2016 4:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I want a t-shirt with 'fartz' printed on it.

http://i3.cpcache.com/product/882290751/shirt.jpg?side=Back&height=350&width=350

[in reference to candidates dying during the campaign]

- "This way, Mr. Trump."

- "What, through the kitchen?"

― pplains, Monday, April 4, 2016

which one of these characters is Manny Both'anns?

― μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, April 7, 2016 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm in if you guys are! you will get to meet mr veg too if that sweetens the deal

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, April 5, 2016 11:11 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You are sweetness enough, my dear.

― Jenny Ondioleeene (Leee), Wednesday, April 6, 2016 12:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol ok but he's still gonna be there

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, April 6, 2016 1:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

looool

Haha, excellent

hahahaha

Also does anybody else think they cast [Forest Whitaker] basically just to be the guy who says the trailer stuff? I bet you he has one scene and we just saw most of it

I think they cast him so I can say "Star Wars: The Forest Awhitakens", and then shuffle embarrassedly off the thread.

― Don't Stop 'Til You Get Eno, Ugh (ledge), Thursday, April 7, 2016 4:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

btw more classical LPs should feature n00dz

― lukevalentine, Sunday, January 31, 2010 4:58 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i49.tinypic.com/2qa4dvl.jpg

― ^^potentially not true at all, sry^^ (Z S), Sunday, January 31, 2010 6:21 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg

I think that's an all-time post tbh, can't believe it was overlooked.

It's funny because she's fat

I'm positive that's at least her second most defining feature on first glance? First being her lovely smile.

kewl shades as well

It's funny because she's fat

― lute bro (brimstead), Friday, April 8, 2016 1:12 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh come on.

Was there a punchline other than "this person's body"

Eager to hear the non-fat-based claims.

First of all like 90% sure that's shopped

The joke isn't 'she's fat lol'. In context, the initial comment was about 'tasteful' nudes on the sleeves of classical LPs. Any gaudy & naughty image from a greeting card purchased at Spencer's Gifts (e.g. a hunk holding a daschshund in front of his genitals or a wrinkled old man in a randy pose) would've served the juxtaposition equally well.

^ srsly can't believe this has to be explained

Plus the post in question is six years old so let's cut the Mailman some slack here.

Does some part of the humor derive from her "body," (which, again, p sure is not real) yeah, obviously, although not just "she is fat." Anyway, if people really find this body-shaming and are not just being right on the internet, I stand down. Go ahead and flag post, lock thread, or whatever.

fat didn't even play into it at all for me - was just the idea of classical cds repackaged as like a fuckin' 2 Live Crew album cover

jugstaposition*

okay lol at "jugstaposition"

lol x2

bahahaha

i don't really care about this particular old post so i guess u can say i'm ""concern trolling"" but i do find it kind of bizarre how many ppl who probably consider themselves generally well-meaning see no problem at all with perpetual body shaming. it's caused real issues in my friendships, and tbh it's kind of caused me to keep an eye out for disingenuousness among ppl who seem to try to otherwise come across as tolerant of everything. just saying.

and yes, i'm a judgmental piece of shit too, so i don't really expect anyone to care or take this seriously because i know i myself wouldn't if such a post were directed at me. state of the world.

ur """ concern trolling"""

darraghmac I'm not sure what you mean by """"concern trolling""""

I really don't find body shaming at all funny, fwiw. I know and care about too many people with real issues and sensitivies in that arena to take it lightly. I do, however, find absurd jugsjuxtapositions hilarious.

i do think it's kinda lame to presume why people thought something was funny, see them explain why they *really* thought it was funny, and insinuate "naw guys, admit it, the horrible reason I gave is really the reason you thought it was hilarious"

In conclusion, nothing is funny, ever.

most of the people here thought it was funny because that woman is clearly not a fan of Bolero, she's way more into Haydn

lol

djp I'm not going to """""""" stand for"""""""" u """""""""""""""" calling me out""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" like that.

"

xposts adolescent boy humor like that isn't totally innocent, it has its exploitative side, there's an underlying current of fear of bodies and sexuality that it's trying to discharge, the downside is it tends to objectify and otherize, and it's not funny when you think about the category of person who bears the brunt of that, so i think your concerns are valid but also think the joke speaks for itself as a quaint relic of like a myopic junior high world of boys and would back away from anyone like really repping for it as some kind of paragon of humor.

that's a whole lotta bullshit presumption there

most of the people here thought it was funny because that woman is clearly not a fan of Bolero, she's way more into Haydn

― sarahell, Friday, April 8, 2016 8:04 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like this is funny to me because it tries to rearrange what the "reaction" to the photo is. anyway, i'm finished humorsplaining.

xpost, that's cool, you're a bullshit poster, we can call it even

oh zing

good one PeeWee!

don't mean to poo poo this particular post, but seems like Z S posts one hundred funnier posts a day

xpost like your insistence on projecting what the humor is and what the intent is all whilst ignoring the very valid explanations from multiple people itt is adorable and all. it's fair to talk about unintended consequences but not when it comes couched in the motherfucking smug accusatory tone that some of y'all are employing itt

xpost this is true, that's because he's one of the most consistently funny people in ILX

ILX Rolling Excelsior / Welcome back Matt P 2016 Spotify Playlist

The King of Comedy returns

that's a whole lotta bullshit presumption there

― Neanderthal, Friday, April 8, 2016 3:08 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't think so fwiw

ilx just sounds better when read with a tinge of humour, lighter or darker

an infinite source of jest if you will

an infinite source of zest

a dogpatch lemon if you will

ilx can zestfully clean that right up

whilst ignoring the very valid explanations from multiple people

replace "valid" with "defensive" and you've got an accurate post!

The joke isn't 'she's fat lol'. In context, the initial comment was about 'tasteful' nudes on the sleeves of classical LPs. Any gaudy & naughty image from a greeting card purchased at Spencer's Gifts (e.g. a hunk holding a daschshund in front of his genitals or a wrinkled old man in a randy pose) would've served the juxtaposition equally well.

― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Friday, April 8, 2016 3:02 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Does some part of the humor derive from her "body," (which, again, p sure is not real) yeah, obviously, although not just "she is fat." Anyway, if people really find this body-shaming and are not just being right on the internet, I stand down. Go ahead and flag post, lock thread, or whatever.

― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Friday, April 8, 2016 3:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how incredibly defensive!

if people genuinely believe that it doesn't count as "body shaming" if an image is photoshopped/looks fake, then that's a semiotic argument that is interesting to me on an intellectual/academic level, though the, er, parts, still refer to a human body of the type that is frequently shamed. I don't really want to bring up the bottle opener thread in this context, but there are similarities in terms of the defensiveness and cluelessness of the posts defending this as "just a bit of fun, let's be cool"

when it comes couched in the motherfucking smug accusatory tone that some of y'all are employing itt

― Neanderthal, Friday, April 8, 2016 1:11 PM (21 minutes ago)

how incredibly defensive!

otm

Um, anyway, re the new M83:

--

the song with Beck reminds of french shitty marriage songs

― Van Horn Street, Friday, April 8, 2016 1:25 PM (25 minutes ago)

The Beck song sound the most like something that wouldn't be that out of place on Random Access Memories.

― MarkoP, Friday, April 8, 2016 1:30 PM (19 minutes ago)

Random Access Memories reminds me of french shitty marriage songs

― Van Horn Street, Friday, April 8, 2016 1:31 PM (18 minutes ago)

I think this is an important conversation to have and I am a little disappointed with the portion of me that is resenting how it is taking some of the shine off of the neologism "jugstaposition"

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/zQcTBss3uoU/mqdefault.jpg

i appreciated "jugstaposition" very much fwiw

would you say... it's the breast?

still giggling at that one, myself

i'm definitely tittering over here too.

I'm sure we'll all look back at that one with fond mammaries, but c'mon you're milking it now

This thread has its knockers, but I'm not one of them.

a juggernaut of great posts

whoa, i picked a bad day to go outside and do something for once!

i'm a very skinny person and when people refer to me or other people as skeletons it makes me feel awful, so i can see how some people would think it was supposed to be a comment on bigger people in general. i don't really remember making that post, but i would have thought twice about posting something like that today, so that must indicate something.

Sorry for inadvertently old post shaming you buddy.

Great thread

i wasn't sure we should ban him before but now that i know he's a goddamn bonie maronie i say permaban the skeletor

Echo & the Boneymen

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36006158

Mourinho turns down the chance to manage Syria. The former Chelsea man will not long have mulled the offer to take up the Syrian hotseat.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 10 April 2016 10:07 (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Holding out for the Presidency.

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Sunday, 10 April 2016 10:13 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

I was an adult before I got why "Mulva" was funny

― Neanderthal, Sunday, April 10, 2016 10:14 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

even though I owned an album with the title of the word it rhymed with

― Neanderthal, Sunday, April 10, 2016 10:15 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Laura Mvula?

― rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Sunday, April 10, 2016 10:21 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

greenwald is in a class of his own - he's beyond smug, every post is in some kind of righteous fury mode. i imagine him ordering a suboptimal cappucino: "That these so-called baristas can hand me this dishwater with smiles on their faces is simply astonishing. They have had every chance to make my coffee correctly, and at every turn have chosen not to. UPDATE: Several readers have pointed out that better coffee can be had two blocks away, at Venetia. These readers miss the point, which is not that good coffee may be had at some other establishment, but that this coffee, in this establishment is presented as good yet is clearly, to anyone who bothers paying even cursory attention, not."

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, March 10, 2010 8:33 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes! saw that earlier

karl malone's josh marshall-style post needs to go here too, can't remember where it is though

Lol that nails something about greenwald that I haven't been able to pinpoint

Scrappy undermined the hauntological aspects of Scooby Doo

― Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 14 April 2016 15:19 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it was here or "truth bombs" tbh

i use "cocksucker" all the time pejoratively, even tho i'm quality

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, April 14, 2016 9:34 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lock thread

― Check Yr Scrobbles (Moodles), Thursday, April 14, 2016 9:37 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And the mealy mouth theme comes full circle

― Evan, Thursday, April 14, 2016 9:39 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haunted web scoobys

chuck's dead and kim lied to protect jimmy and keep mesa verde

― conrad, 15. huhtikuuta 2016 11:15 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thanks for the info! Did you get an advance view of next week's episode or something?

― Tuomas, 15. huhtikuuta 2016 11:36 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nope but I watched this week's episode

― conrad, 15. huhtikuuta 2016 11:42 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay, interesting. The version I saw must've missed a scene where they confirmed those things, gotta send some email to Netflix Nordic about this.

― Tuomas, 15. huhtikuuta 2016 12:54 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In the Benelux version you see Hector shoot the good samaritan.

― Matt DC, 15. huhtikuuta 2016 12:59 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

?

From the Better Call Saul thread, I guess it doesn't make sense if you don't watch that show.

i like how your timestamps make it look like everyone's 15 years old and writing into a magazine

― Will M., 15.

Was that pointed at me?

IMO the European way of writing dates like DAY/MONTH/YEAR is completely logical: from the smallest unit to the largest. The American ways of starting with the second smallest, then the smallest, then the largest, is weird. Though I guess there's some explanation to it that has to do with some filing system?

I think it's the period after the day part that makes it confusing

Ah, okay. So in the English-speaking countries you can't writer "fifteenth" as "15."? In here adding the period after a number means that it's an ordinal number.

You know, I think I learned that in high school German but promptly forgot it and thought it was just a weird stylistic quirk

huhtikuuta is also a lovely word.

The period also makes sense, instead of going 1st 2nd 3rd 4th it's just 1. 2. 3. Easy peasy.

Europe is always right with these things. The metric system, people. How many pounds does a cubic foot of water weigh? Huh?

62.4 pounds

12 parsecs

we measure liquids in pints, quarts, and gallons, not feet!

a quart of water is about two pounds, pretty easy to remember

All my references to weights and measures on ILX from now on will be exclusively in IMPERIAL units, just to annoy Frederik.

otm

No Euros either, it's pounds, shillings, guineas, crowns, groats, ha'pennies etc

The only acceptable way to write a date is ISO 8601 format, eg 2016-04-15.

http://www.tattoosbeautiful.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/a4feb1fcc4b9be0ff606a682b163d223.jpg

xpost it's the Ides of April, Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen, savages

https://frinkiac.com/meme/S06E18/211627.jpg?b64lines=IFRoZSBtZXRyaWMgc3lzdGVtIGlzIHRoZQogdG9vbCBvZiB0aGUgZGV2aWwhIE15IGNhcgogZ2V0cyA0MCByb2RzIHRvIHRoZQogaG9nc2hlYWQgYW5kIHRoYXQncyB0aGUKIHdheSBJIGxpa2VzIGl0Lg==

unixtime is the only rational measurement

Was that pointed at me?

― Tuomas, Friday, April 15, 2016 10:19 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah! I didn't know how the date format worked there before, it is cool (but it did confuse me at first... when I see "NAME, NUMBER." I think age e.g. "Will, 12."

The only acceptable way to write a date is ISO 8601 format, eg 2016-04-15.

― eyecrud (silby), Friday, April 15, 2016 10:41 AM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

See this is what i'm talking about. I can sort these alphabetically and get a chronological list. Perfect.

By "this is what I'm talking about" i don't mean I was literally talking about it. I was just saying OTM.

xpost it's the Ides of April, Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen, savages

#actually the ides of april is the 13th

month-day-year is nutty as hell. what a bunch of characters. you guys crack me up, you guys in belize, the federated states of micronesia and the united states, you crack me up

love belize

speaker box!

I don't mind the American, etc. way of setting the date. Kind of a in a Section II, Paragraph 3 of the Document sorta way.

But no periods in phone numbers. Your phone number is not an IP address.

It always bothers me when people don't pronounce Casablanca with the long 'a' in every syllable as intended.

― I Pith On Your Quip (Old Lunch), Sunday, April 17, 2016 5:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what? cā-sā-blān-cā?

sorry i missed this was excelsior :(

that comes off as quite a salty zing lol

I think we all missed that

if only we had a lawyer here to sort this out

I'm a lawyer

I specialise in bird law

no soliciting

do you specialize in...big-bottom birds?

Up before the beak tomorrow then?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9d/The_Pelican_Brief.jpg

One of my bigger cases

Pplains, your job sounds like purgatory

― a hairy, howling toad torments a man whose wife is deathly ill (James Morrison), Sunday, April 17, 2016 4:37 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

More like lmbo

― never had it so ogod (darraghmac), Sunday, April 17, 2016 5:34 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Tiffany" would like me to knock on doors for Bernie today.

― Crazy Eddie & Jesus the Kid (Raymond Cummings), Saturday, April 16, 2016 6:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Did she say whether she thinks that you and she are alone now?

― up is where sentence-ending prepositions make me throw (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, April 16, 2016 7:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Did she invite you over for breakfast?

― clemenza, Saturday, April 16, 2016 8:05 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is she the tiffany from the other thing?????!

― • (sleepingbag), Saturday, April 16, 2016 8:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol I am still sad I missed out on making jokes when someone from the Clinton campaign called to try to recruit me to caucus and the caller's name was Chelsea

Woke up, it was a Chelsea phoning.

RE: Billy Corgan's latest interview with Alex Jones on Infowars.com:

from the new interview: "Like I've said before, I think it was very prescient of you to call it an Infowar."
― flappy bird, Wednesday, April 20, 2016 3:26 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I came in the door I said it before
I think it was very prescient of you to call it an Infowar
― how's life, Wednesday, April 20, 2016 4:01 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Standing ovation for that one

instant classic

was coming here to post that

Postcards from The Edge

jaysus

british ribaldry is so weird

Talking about the sitz bath fixture:

It's an arse sink?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, April 26, 2016 7:45 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

arse sink in old place

― through a charles barkley (brownie), Tuesday, April 26, 2016 7:54 AM

I dont *think* this is spoilering anything but if you're avoiding GOT spoilers, avert eyes...

(edited for lulz)

The complaining about stalling is pretty funny, when in a way the show has speeded up immensely how fast it takes for characters to go somewhere. Arya spent 3 seasons (?) wandering around Westeros before she got on the ship, it took Jamie a season to get with Brienne to Kings Landing. But it only took Tyrion half a season to get to Meereen, and in this premiere Jamie goes Dorne-Kings Landing between episodes, and Daenerys gets to the dothraki camps as well. And I complained about Melisandre getting to Castle Black from Winterfell in the last thread.

So they're getting rid of the sense of scale of the place. But they're not really replacing it with any propulsion or action.

― Frederik B, Wednesday, April 27, 2016 12:53 AM (8 hours ago)

yeah but once you discover locations you can fast travel between them

...

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, April 27, 2016 12:56 AM (8 hours ago)

Noice.

let the people say the hyperbole about the bey

― And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Friday, April 29, 2016 7:37 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hybeybole

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, April 29, 2016 7:40 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hyperbeyle

― How Butch, I mean (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, April 29, 2016 9:48 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

beyperbole

― dc, Friday, April 29, 2016 9:50 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hyperbobey

― ejemplo (crüt), Friday, April 29, 2016 9:57 AM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd like to say I foresaw that. She is in every syllable now

beybeybeybey

whats wrong with just exaggeroncé

"Wednesday night D&D hygiene" is a perfect DN and I would like to use it.

― ulysses, Thursday, May 5, 2016 3:39 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

God, that Sheryl Crowe album was worse than the other one.

― pplains, Thursday, May 5, 2016 5:04 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It really ought to be "moon-shaped" though, right?

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, May 9, 2016 12:15 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah, they're talking about a person named moon (Keith?) and how they influenced the game of billiards

― 6 god none the richer (m bison), Monday, May 9, 2016 12:24 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

looking closely at the letter it's sorta funny, how they explain that they made the sex tape as a result of the "stress of touring" or something

in fairness, when touring is stressing me out I like to tape myself raiding the breakfast buffet at the Hampton Inn. got about a thousand hours of footage by now. eggs, cinnamon rolls. toast. really lets the steam off to watch my breakfast buffet tapes

― The bald Phil Collins impersonator cash grab (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, May 10, 2016 6:39 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

psych there is no breakfast buffet at Hampton Inns, I have now successfully trolled the media, how did you like having a mirror held up to yourselves

― The bald Phil Collins impersonator cash grab (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, May 10, 2016 6:40 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"really lets the steam off to watch my breakfast buffet tapes"

did anyone watch the video?

― de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, May 10, 2016 4:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't think it exists

― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Tuesday, May 10, 2016 4:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just turns on your device's camera and live streams your face with DO YOU SEE beneath

― Sufjan Grafton, Tuesday, May 10, 2016 4:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is a nazi > used to be a nazi > has never been a nazi

― a mom shaped pom (wins), Monday, May 16, 2016 4:22 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait reverse those signs for the love of god

― a mom shaped pom (wins), Monday, May 16, 2016 4:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Love of God wins

Graffiti Bridge holds up a lot better than I expected it would!

rockpalast '82 (upper mississippi sh@kedown) wrote this at 2016-05-16 21:16:02.000

the movie or the album

Οὖτις wrote this at 2016-05-16 21:19:30.000

The bridge!

it's getting ott in here / so take off all your clothes (stevie) wrote this at 2016-05-16 21:21:48.000

Is a nazi > used to be a nazi > has never been a nazi

― a mom shaped pom (wins), Monday, May 16, 2016 4:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait reverse those signs for the love of god

― a mom shaped pom (wins), Monday, May 16, 2016 4:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Groundhog evening.

not even funny ffs, wins would be the first to agree

no way i lol'd hard

i never do this but i thought it was so funny i showed my wife the thread so she could lol too but she was not amused at all

Here's One Man's Demonstration Of Moral Relativity - And You Won't Believe The Notational Error He Makes

vg+

Conversation needs to be here:

Is a nazi > used to be a nazi > has never been a nazi

― a mom shaped pom (wins), 16. maj 2016 22:22 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait reverse those signs for the love of god

― a mom shaped pom (wins), 16. maj 2016 22:23 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was gonna say

― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), 16. maj 2016 22:23 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is the love of god < used to be the love of god < has never been the love of god

― Sufjan Grafton, 16. maj 2016 22:26 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

still a pretty negative post tbh

― Sufjan Grafton, 16. maj 2016 22:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying

― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), 16. maj 2016 22:58 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sufjan one of the five best posters on ilx imo

if that's his real name i agree

I think it was originally a play on the mystery writer, the longer version was like "M is for Michigan by Sufjan Grafton" or something like that. It was a good dn.

Excellent poster for sure

xp was originally 'V is for Vermont' because Sue had most recently published "U" is for Undertow. Your version is better tbh because Sue Grafton actually finishes what she starts. As imago knows, I'm not actually so happy about being stuck with it now.

it's never too late to change

You can be who you wanna be

For The Love Of God would make for a decent username imo

Love sufjan, never knew about dn origin

ah, you are all being too kind to me and this ridiculous dn. glad to see I am not annoying some of my favorite posters.

Never said I liked the dn

Never said you didn't annoy me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCP-UIs2kpM

heh, people hate it when I do that.

lol and lol

Breaking Bad guy had a goatee though right? Not a beard.

― how's life, Tuesday, May 17, 2016 3:18 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he had a van dyck

― balls, Tuesday, May 17, 2016 3:25 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nah it was a pontiac aztek, more of an SUV crossover

― yellow despackling power (Will M.), Tuesday, May 17, 2016 3:27 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"And stop calling me dyck."

Join the Freys of Benteros
everything is at steak

― kinder, Wednesday, May 18, 2016 8:48 AM (14 minutes ago)

You can break into a dead man's phone if you've still got the body. Long-ass password is harder to retrieve.

― pplains, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 01:04 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.engadget.com/2013/09/16/why-a-disembodied-finger-cant-be-used-to-unlock-the-touch-id-se/

the Touch ID sensor should be remarkably accurate for living creatures, but it also means that only a finger attached to a beating heart will be able to unlock it. So, should someone run up to you, hack off your finger, grab your iPhone and attempt to unlock it, there's virtually no chance it's going to work.

basically you need to be alive in order for touch id to work reliably.
― Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 04:24 (1 week ago) Permalink

So all that shit in movies where someone glues "fingerprints" to their fingers or wtf ever is all bullshit? Gattaca, u lied to me ;_;

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 11 May 2016 06:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

but then again i was reading just last week of something that could be fooled by photocopies of fingerprints.

― koogs, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 07:04 (1 week ago) Permalink

Heh, just thinking about that use in Batman vs. Superman...
And even that article says you can still use the finger while it's "live" so you have a few minutes to make it work. So what if you freeze the finger? Or run an electric pulse through a disembodied hand? Though yeah probably easier to just make the person unconscious

― Nhex, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 07:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

Or just buy a phone.

― Alba, Wednesday, 11 May 2016 07:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

lol

heh.

and look i think all the funky people and garage people and everyone else in the u.k. do the best they can and they are probably on the dole selling 6 month old singles that nobody wants at car boot sales outside charity shops and i wish them well and they will have good memories of their funky years and that's what matters in the long run.

― scott seward, Thursday, May 19, 2016 1:13 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for what it's worth people in the u.s. who were thisclose to being juggalos still love drum & bass.

― scott seward, Thursday, May 19, 2016 1:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also i'm drunk.

― scott seward, Thursday, May 19, 2016 1:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg that Alba one haha

i'm anti-Likud, sweetie, and both nominees certainly are not. It's historically relevant.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, May 19, 2016 6:22 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh so now i'm your sweetie? you are a despicable human being.

― Mordy, Thursday, May 19, 2016 6:23 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...ha?

methinks the mordy doth protest too much

not really sure why it's a lol though

what precisely am i protesting?

sucking Morbz dick idk

I giggled at this

who invented the widget can, I wonder

― μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, May 17, 2016 4:04 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the ira

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, May 17, 2016 4:08 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that is great

The first samples sent to Dublin were labelled "Project Dynamite", which caused some delay before customs and excise would release the samples.[citation needed]

Is Bran going to be trapped in trance state or something? Seems like he should have woken up given the minor racket.

― Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Monday, May 23, 2016 8:02 AM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Normally you have to click "eject" before disconnecting.

― Evan, Monday, May 23, 2016 8:15 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

completely unacceptable

latest Sanders campaign email endorsed and asked for donations for 8 progressive state legislature candidates

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, May 24, 2016 2:08 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just in time!

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 2:09 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for whom, you grim troglodyte?

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, May 24, 2016 2:15 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol physician heal thyself

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 2:27 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Completely unacceptable PLUS italicised wtf

Sorry, tried to do flashing Comic Sans but my settings are clearly fucked.

xp lol-physician heal thyself?

imago, maybe instead in ineffectually gatekeeping these threads, you should look into bofa

When Outis said those gilded words to a known cancer patient, little did he suspect his imminent immortalisation within the precious bower of Excelsior

I'm going to have to look that up, Dan

Oh classy, a homoerotic rejoinder. I shall open a Bank of America account forthwith

squirrel away deez nuts in a tax-free savings account

Dystopian novel/film in which currency is human balls <-olive branch to Dan

A vision of a white dove flying with a pair of testes in its beak

Meanwhile, on the We Are Oscar Wilde thread...

The Dangler Games

When Outis said those gilded words to a known cancer patient

To be fair, a known cancer patient who is also regularly wishing other posters dead and making himself as unpleasant as possible

They don't just call him Morbius down at the clinic...

(FWIW, I don't think either poster is a grim troglodyte. I just get a kick out of watching them slap fight.

Oh also, lj, the physician in that somewhat well-worn idiomatic expression isn't a literal physician or oncologist or whatever. Actually, I'm just completely stabbing in the dark as to how anyone's cancer diagnosis could've possibly worked its way into your aghast interpretation.)

WOULD SOMEONE USE THIS THREAD TO REPOST A FUNNY PLEASE

why start now

WOULD SOMEONE USE THIS THREAD TO REPOST A FUNNY PLEASE

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 9:46 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why start now

― Mordy, Tuesday, May 24, 2016 9:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LJ gatekeeping the lols thread is like having a man with no legs judge a keepy-uppy tournament, no offence LJ but come one.

come one. Or come one, it's your choice.

lj just embrace it and start reposting random interchanges from that thread imo

lj's gatekeeping isn't even that good, please keep it out of this thread

Come one come all

Much editing but genuine techno-dystopian lol.

http://gizmodo.com/how-san-francisco-plans-to-use-self-driving-cars-to-fix-1778306148

Done right, self-driving cars can also alleviate the city’s affordable housing crisis. “It’s a space issue,” said Tim Papandreou, chief innovation officer for San Francisco’s Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA), who recently spearheaded the city’s big proposal. “We have the data to prove we won’t need the space on the streets anymore. But if we do both shared and electric automated vehicles, we’re not just freeing up space in the street, we’re freeing up space in the lots.”

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 21:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<...>

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site568/2016/0517/20160517_071827_google-stuckped-0518.jpg

This diagram from a patent granted May 17 to Google shows how a pedestrian hit by a self-driving car would remain stuck to the front of the vehicle with glue, theoretically to prevent further injuries from being carried along and then thrown. (U.S. Patent Office)

― map, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 22:14 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<...>

what could possibly go wrong w pedestrians glued to the front of cars

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 24 May 2016 22:18 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well if they're glued to a self-driving car that never needs parking then they aren't part of the housing problem anymore

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 May 2016 01:09 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

vg+

acceptable

What thread is that? I was working on some pieces about self-driving cars last week and the whole concept is mind-boggling to me

acceptable

― And the cry rang out all o'er the town / Good Heavens! Tay is down (imago), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 10:58 AM (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.executivesonline.co.uk/media/filer_public/2014/11/11/beware_of_the_bogus_man_from_del_montedocx.png

Hey stevie it's Silicon Valley Techno-Utopianism

What does "cod reggae" have to do with fish, anyway?
Erm, presumably they call it "cod", because it's got no SOLE!!!! (Doh!!!!!!!!)
― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Tuesday, December 9, 2003 9:02 AM (12 years ago)

Roflmao

heh

8 months pass...

zzz / *jerk off hand motion* at all the hot aired grandstanding and PEOPLE JUST DONT CARE ABOUT BEING A GOOD PERSON IN THIS SPCIETY ANYMORE trenchant social commentary itt. this war off attrition between two rich dudes with differentially deep pockets was a darkly hilarious twist to a morally queasy trial and raises some thorny questions about what freedom of the press /really means/ *takes bongrip* but do we have to go full guy-seated-next-to-hot-girl-in-polisci-101 with the DEMOCRACYS OVER THE RICH WON BECAUSE WE DIDNT CONFISCATE GUY WHO OWNS 10% OF FACEBOOKS WEALTH?? we're all 40 y/o old dads here

― de l'asshole (flopson), Friday, 27 May 2016 06:03 (1 minute ago) Permalink

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:08 AM

zzz / *jerk off hand motion* at all the hot aired grandstanding and PEOPLE JUST DONT CARE ABOUT BEING A GOOD PERSON IN THIS SPCIETY ANYMORE trenchant social commentary itt. this war off attrition between two rich dudes with differentially deep pockets was a darkly hilarious twist to a morally queasy trial and raises some thorny questions about what freedom of the press /really means/ *takes bongrip* but do we have to go full guy-seated-next-to-hot-girl-in-polisci-101 with the DEMOCRACYS OVER THE RICH WON BECAUSE WE DIDNT CONFISCATE GUY WHO OWNS 10% OF FACEBOOKS WEALTH?? we're all 40 y/o old dads here

― de l'asshole (flopson), Friday, 27 May 2016 06:03 (2 minute ago) Permalink

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:10 AM

shit i thot zing ate that post $$taks bongrip$$

― bamcquern, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:10 AM

posts you had second thought about posting twice - put them here

― sarahell, Friday, May 27, 2016 1:48 AM

each party has its lemmings. it's a beautiful thing.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:32 PM (2 days ago)

Oh its like a lemmin party alright

― Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:36 PM (2 days ago)

well done

idgi

google "lemon party" at your own risk

no offense, but let me translate that to a general audience because you lost me at "mastering":

the master is given a box containing an ocean of sound. they pour the water out onto the board with hundreds of unknowable knobs and waves begin to form over certain areas. the master makes a few adjustments, and then turns to talk to the biggest asshole musician of all time, plus his evil twin manager who does the talking. everyone pretends that everything is pretty good but could be a little better. after sending the noobs out for a restroom break, the master adds a little Oomph to the low end and a little twizzle to the high end (these correspond with sounds that bounce off of the ear lobe and the top part of the ear, respectively). the most important part of mastering is maintaining a straight face at the end of the process, after the high fives, when the master talks about what changes were made and why. this is difficult for both parties in the conversation but absolutely necessary for a good mastering job.

― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Thursday, May 26, 2016 11:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In the working space I'm using today, eventually two other people came in and at the coffee maker one of them asked the other how she came to be using this working space, after her short answer, his return answer was very long, a little bit about where he was from and where he had lived, then a large chunk about explaining what polyamory was.

I left and went back to my computer but forgot my headphones so could still hear him for some time. Eventually they walked past, and she said "well thank you for sharing", and he said "oh no problem I just love to share"

― saer, Friday, April 1, 2016 8:46 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You mess with the Beatles, you get the Wings

― Dan I., Saturday, 28 May 2016 19:04 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Trump IS Noah Cross

― kevin smith what a bro (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well he def wants to bang his daughter

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, May 31, 2016 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Jojen was a greenseer, but I don't think he could warg.

― Jenny Ondioleeene (Leee), Wednesday, June 1, 2016 4:59 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

this was a good song

― 龜, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Original Get Back lyrics or KLF outtake, iirc.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CjvOrbUWkAAr5oi.jpg:large

― reader, if you love him so much why don't you marry him? (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, June 1, 2016

(from the Guardian thread, right after soref posted "trying to find a cartoon of Harambe and Cecil the Lion chilling together in heaven, but I'm not coming up with anything.")

can't take any credit for it ftr, was seen on twitter

that is wonderful

1 RT = 1 prayer

Does god recognize this as a valid transaction, y/n

Once I ordered a pizza with black olives, got broccoli
damn my accent

― kinder, Thursday, June 2, 2016 4:52 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I happened across the name of the judge in the Tunnel Drunk case, and a quick google search confirmed my suspicion - Gonzalo Curiel is a cousin of former Clinton White House speechwriter Carolyn Curiel.

― normcore strengthening exercises (benbbag), Friday, June 3, 2016 5:46 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok deep throat

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, June 3, 2016 6:01 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still can't believe that elmo outpolled ernie among grown up ilxors.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Saturday, June 4, 2016 3:59 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

typical erniebro unable to accept reality

― mario vargis loosa (wins), Saturday, June 4, 2016 4:03 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha

Hahaha

pretty good

it's not like trump is going to get less insane over the next several months; I worried about that but he's given no indication he's capable of sticking to a rational script.

― akm

The churl can't help it

― Οὖτις

Spicy corn in a cup is a thing in South Asian neighbourhoods in London and it's only about a pound or £1.50 per serving.
― jedi slimane (suzy), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

2 spices 1 cup
― STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Monday, 6 June 2016 20:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what

the juices from the head of the prawn are amazing! certain types of frying make it p easy to eat more of the prawn in its entirety. in spain you see people sucking the shrimp head p much everywhere.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:13 AM

glad dan is presumably in bed as i posted that.

― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:14 AM

lol

don't know if this is exactly an excelsior but it deserves to be memorialized somewhere:

-----------

Whenever I'm in Bushwick I never know exactly where I am because I don't know the relative positioning of the many subway stations. So to help myself figure it out I've created a mnemonic system. Here's how it goes:

First I imagine a cranky old man whose wife Lori is in charge of his breakfast. "Lori" stands for the two Lorimer stations, from which these journeys proceed.

For the J Train I think of "Lori, Fix My Korean Ginseng Hot," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Kosciuszko, Gates, and Halsey.

For the M Train it's "Lori, Fix My ChicKen & Waffles," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Flushing, Myrtle, Central, Knickerbocker, and (Myrtle-) Wyckoff. Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops.

For the L Train it's "Lori, Go Get Me More Jelly Donuts & Milk," which corresponds to the stops Lorimer, Graham, Grand, Montrose, Morgan, Jefferson, Dekalb, and Myrtle (-Wyckoff). It helps that More=Morgan, not Montrose.

Keeping in mind that Myrtle and Wyckoff - Milk and Waffles - are the same station, I think of how you need Milk to make Waffle batter.

So now if I'm visiting a friend in Bushwick I place them geographically by thinking like, "oh, she lives between More and Jelly," for example.

― Josefa, Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:39 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Nice!

I don't want to change my dn rn but I rly need someone to snatch "Of course here I have to remember that Chicken is two stops."

WU TANG CLAN - DAVID BYRNE - NILE RODGERS
        (BACKED BY THE ROOTS)

― de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 11:49 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i mean, that sounds totally fine, assuming The Roots backs those 3 people in different songs and not all at once

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 12:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i certainly fucking hope so!

― De La Soul is no Major Lazer (ulysses), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"Back to the motherfuckin' spot on Lexington"

wikky wikky wikky

"you may find yourself"

wikky wikky wikky

"in ya college ass disco dorm"

"GOOD TIMES!"

― rockpalast '82 (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

then it's decided, flopson's imagination will not be allowed to organize the roots picnic

― Dierks Bentley's Holistic Detective Agency (some dude), Tuesday, June 7, 2016 1:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

"you must become no one" is p much what they tell you at acting school.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:10 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"a man must be unemployed"

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:11 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hey, if I'd kept up acting I figure is have a 50/50 shot of being in GoTs

(From "Is Donald Trump a Fascist?")

this is how nazi germany sharted

― hunangarage, Wednesday, 15 June 2016 04:21 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah

Kinda inside baseball but:

okay so 4 min into the God of War gameplay demo and why is Kratos leaving his kid defenseless by hanging onto his bow while demon things jump out of the woods at them? also, why aren't the demon things attacking the defenseless kid?

― volumetric god rays (DJP), Tuesday, June 14, 2016 2:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

mash triangle rapidly to momentarily interact with your son without being a shithead about it

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, June 14, 2016 3:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

"When you pressing x, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, We're gonna have a quick time event"

― am0n, Tuesday, June 14, 2016 3:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

XD

What are the chances of West Ham selling Payet for £50m during the tournament and Bilic finding out live on air?

― Matt DC, Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've had s similar thought but if we're gonna start critiquing each others content well

― The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Xp

― The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, June 15, 2016 10:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Now would be a really good time for that "Hitler eating a watermelon" animated gif.
― Fish is Biodegradable! (That Means It Rots) (kate), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:30 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 10 March 2006 15:58 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You know, I've seen that thing at least six million times, and it's still funny.
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:44 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"six million" huh
― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:45 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha.

hahaha

lol

from the facebook groups thread...

counterpoint: my car battery died, I posted to my neighborhood dads group to see if anyone had jumper cables, and a random dad showed up within minutes.

― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, June 20, 2016 9:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FB DAD: Don't worry about it. No charge.

MAN ALIVE: No charge? Then why did you even come over here?

*FACEBOOK DADS HI-FIVE, ASCEND INTO THE THE HEAVENS.*

― pplains, Monday, June 20, 2016 9:43 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

love to throw mayonnaise into the garbage and then throw some aoili in afterwards and then stand in the middle of the kitchen screaming LET THEM KILL EACH OTHER

The bald Phil Collins impersonator cash grab (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi) wrote this at 2016-06-21 19:00:51.000

If they have to be explained they aren't funny, but they might be witty.
not sure this is an ironclad dictum, suppose it depends if you can conceive of something that is funny but that man alive doesn't get

― oh, amazonaws (wins), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:08 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sex?

― de l'asshole (flopson), Wednesday, June 22, 2016 1:12 PM (52 minutes ago)

Haha. Like it.

idgi

You see it ain't no joke, just a natural fact, all right, all right

Well, I laffed. Out loud, even.

Based on my offspring, who do resemble me, it seems likely that I have had sex at least twice.

Not necessarily.

the old offsprung durch technique

Well I said likely.

Seems an expensive alternative but then idk what yr bedposts are made of

I really don't know why I bother pointing this out, but Jon Snow and Sansa arrived at Winterfell from the Northwest, while Littlefinger's troops arrived from the Southeast, so why would they just happen upon the base camp without knowing there was a battle going on, or why would they not have scouts out, or...

Oh, never mind. D-40, it's okay. You can think it's the most brilliantest written show on tv, you can have that opinion. I will continue to disagree.

― Frederik B, Wednesday, June 22, 2016

How do you figure that their troops attacked from those directions? I think I need to rewatch that scene. I know Jon's troops were coming from the treeline on the north or west but that's about it.

― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Wednesday, June 22, 2016

pretty sure those troops arrived from craft service

― Salsa Golf (Argentinean Ketchup) (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Pretty sure dont excelsior spoilers

aw god dammit I never think anything's funny and then look what happens

Was there spoilers? Im only messing.

Boring

― flappy bird, Thursday, 23 June 2016 03:35 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This perfectly illustrates the problem with overly abbreviated communication. Yes, it may save time and keystrokes to say "Boring", but more accurately, what you meant to say was, "Personally I found this to be boring." This kind of amplification and expansion, while time consuming, also has the effect of removing the idiocy from what you said and replacing it with a measured and true statement of fact.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Thursday, 23 June 2016 03:42 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh

― flappy bird, Thursday, 23 June 2016 06:38 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

interesting.

k

Aimless notm. "Boring" always obviously denotes an opinion.

Aimless was engaging in self-parody.

the important thing is that flappy bird was excelsiored

from the british politics thread, some reassuringly familiar old-skool ILX banter:

i got a letter from the government, the other day, i opened it and read it, it said they were suckers

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 24 June 2016 13:38 (1 hour ago) Permalink

it's always weird when the government sends that letter

― The bald Phil Collins impersonator cash grab (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Friday, 24 June 2016 13:44 (1 hour ago) Permalink

feel like "threats" need to have some kind of hint of substantive planning

― and the Gove maths out Raab (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 5, 2016 10:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more of a death aspiration really

― lag∞n, Tuesday, July 5, 2016 11:53 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I found the conversation upthread about whether or not GoT is fantasy mostly quite clueless. It is definitely 100% fantasy. It has a somewhat different and rather more interesting approach to character and morality to most of the Tolkien-esque heroic fantasy from which it draws, but that doen't make it not fantasy by any means.

Anyway, killer finale.

― chap, Tuesday, July 5, 2016 4:33 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

different but 100% the same makes sense

― lag∞n, Tuesday, July 5, 2016 9:05 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes, it actually does. You build a house out of vinyl, it would be different from all other houses, but still 100% a house.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, July 5, 2016 9:11 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would sound better than other houses

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, July 5, 2016 9:14 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://cache2.asset-cache.net/gc/104386959-neil-young-poses-with-a-1959-lincoln-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=R4V%2FQay2ANwpmCZhkZDSEnFX26bbEzYX071SLyPb9wyKHBDyT13%2Bjz1vF3o2eFYC1lDTb3zaGv8T9R3EMotkwQ%3D%3D

Only if it was heavyweight hot stamped vinyl.

none of u worry abt changing yr posting style itll all be over soon

― lag∞n

what - ilx?

― how's life

for the past few days lag∞n has been predicting the end of the nba, which is like life itself, so that's probably what he meant

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless)

yes that and also how im gonna systematically kill all posters on this message board

― lag∞n

ok but lets get the oasis poll out of the way first

― O, Barack: flaws (wins)

A+

i imagine the grind of the job, day-in day-out probably gives them a more specific sense of this…. that’s like asking "i wonder to what extent welcome back, mr. kotter conditions high-school teachers to believe that their jobs are far more fun than they are."

― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, July 8, 2016 9:15 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(er, typo in name of tV show, but you get the idea)

― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, July 8, 2016 9:15 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i adore the show welcome back mr kotter i trust youve been well

― lag∞n, Friday, July 8, 2016 9:17 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1.) taylor writes a song. calvin produces it and rihanna performs it. taylor's contributions are credited under a pseudonym, on her urging. (lyrics and melody and background vocals.) i think she gets royalties for it too.
2,) calvin is asked if he will work with taylor in the future. he says "we never thought about it"even though they secretly collaborated.
3.) taylor is offended by calvin's comments(????)
4.) taylor breaks up with calvin to begin a relationship with tom hiddleston. takes it on a global tour.
5.) calvin is apparently heartbroken. every once in a while he will imply that he is upset with how she is acting in the media but pulls back before saying anything he can't take back. alternates vague criticisms of her recent behavior with praising her to the moon -- classic behavior of heartbroken person who has cognitive dissonance induced by idealizing someone who hurt them.
6.) to throw salt in the wounds, taylors rep tells TMZ she wrote that riri song and wasn't credited. implies calvin took credit when he shouldn't have even though she was the one who wanted to publish under a pseudonym.
7.) calvin tries to "set the record straight" about her pseudonymous contributions. claims that taylor should focus on her own happiness instead of dragging him down, or something. still intersperses this with praising her songwriting.
8.) calvin's friends call him to make sure he is ok. when he doesn't answer his phone they all panic. is discovered late at night crying under a boardwalk. (speculative)
9.) anthropogenic climate change causes a global refugee crisis. world is thrown into disarray.
10.) small, local skirmishes break out everywhere. TIME magazine calls them "the resource wars."
11.) infrastructure breaks down. media goes black. people organize themselves into local tribes; humanity reverts to a pre-modern age.
12.) sun implodes. earth is sucked into a black hole.

― Treeship, Wednesday, July 13, 2016 11:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

(speculative)

no newt? looks like I got the copyright on "All Wives Matter" for nothing.

― JoeStork, Thursday, July 14, 2016 12:47 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha

excellent work treezy

What do you mean by 'cultural victories'? Abortion, mariage, police violence, these are very real problems.

― Frederik B, Friday, 15 July 2016 15:47 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fuck you

― Treeship, Friday, 15 July 2016 15:49 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Needs more context to make clear that the post he was responding to did not -- at all -- claim those issues were not important, or even that there were any issues more important than them

yes that would make it funnier

haha

http://67.media.tumblr.com/e30bd21ecf277472e09da7af4dd737ef/tumblr_inline_noqtlhpcgG1rngv8m_500.jpg

he was not particularly interested in religion, adding that he preferred girls and salsa.

same

― brexit through the rift shock (bizarro gazzara), Friday, July 15, 2016 8:37 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you guys know Zemeckis is a Republican, right? it shows in his movies.

― helpless before THRILLARY (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, July 19, 2016 7:27 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You know jerry lewis is not funny, right? It shows in his movies.

― 🐸a hairy howling toad torments a man whose wife is deathly ill (James Morrison), Tuesday, July 19, 2016 7:34 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's been a while
since this thread has been
funny

they're turn signals, not "i'm doing something" signals. go ahead, sb away

― brimstead, Tuesday, July 19, 2016 3:13 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i love this "i'm not here to make friends" attitude.

brimstead real name no gimmicks

i thought his/her real name was "the hammer"

Bad Mister
Baited Mrs

I love how brimstead is keeping sb alive

i don't even know what i'm doing here, so sad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Gg0RdEWQk

In this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGzVv795uHQ dude