Simpsons quotations

"i invented kissing. it was during world war one when they were trying to figure out new ways to spread germs."

Saw that last night, it cracked me up.

Not said by Moe, I betcha

"It's an old fashioned hole-diggin'. By gum it's been a while."

(xp)

Otto: Oh,I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top of the line. This is just a Trash Co. waste disposal unit.

Oh yeah, that famous Simpsons continuity. ;p

Homer: You say that so much it's lost all meaning.

I jibe because I love. =)

That is funny.

What if it was

Aja: I want to meet Dave Grohl.

Homer: You say that every day! Why don't you just give up and forget about it. You'll never meet him. And don't even try because trying is the first step to failure.

Jr (Frank Grimes' son): He happened to like hookers, ok?

made me lol last night, from the 'krusty gets a bar mitzvah' episode:

bart: how do you know all this stuff?
lisa: i have an imaginary jewish friend. her name is rachel cohen and she just got accepted to brandeis.

When's the cut-off for the newest reference that can be made? Late 90s?

when was "shaving my shoulders.. i'm gettin it all shaved off" from? that's the most recent one i quote regularly

Hah, I saw that one the other day on my dvds actually. Forget which ep but it was an earlier one I think.

KF I dont understand your question.

Oh and what did people think of the Maggie voiced by Jodie Foster doing the Fountainhead thing? ^%$%$#$% This isnt the right thread for that but whatevs (the ep itself had some good bits, but that was just ridiculous)

I'm saying, off of how new an episode can you make a reference or a quote and fairly expect it to be understood?

shaving my shoulders is season 10 apparently, for some reason i thought it was more recent

"Attractive cousins"? What the hell?

I'm saying, off of how new an episode can you make a reference or a quote and fairly expect it to be understood?

Ahh right, yeah thats a good question. Its interesting how heavily a lot of the very old episodes/seasons catchphrases have sunk in but yes, I wonder if there's much from very recent ones? Anything past season... 12, say? Hard to know, it all blurs after a while.

You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!

no-one's gay for moleman :(

I'm gonna be singing "I'm shaving mah shoulders" all night now.

Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

"The professor said not to let him get a boner"

I do not need this, I've got a master's degree in folklore mythology

"The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons Project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft."

Krusty on Judaism, from the bar mitzvah episode quoted above: "All these rules--I feel like I'm in a strip club!" It's funny because it's true.

The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots.

^^ Delivered with pitch-perfect line reading by Willem Dafoe, no less.

line I can't exactly remember but something like

Homer: soooo ... what a twist - the cat-burglar was caught ... by the very person ... who was trying to CATCH him!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_the_Vigilante

I love how this thread is from 2002 and even back then, everyone was like "oh god havent we DONE this?"

NO WE HAVEN'T BECAUSE THIS THREAD WAS ABOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION USING QUOTATIONS OH MY FAILURE STILL STINGS.

for some reason all day ive been thinking about the episode where homer tells marge (?) that if anything goes wrong at the plant to just blame it on the foreign guy, tibor. and the later hes upset that marge is getting a promotion and he says that '[hes] used to people getting promoted ahead of [him] at work: friends, co-workers, tibor...'

i think this joke is really funnie

thats all

That idiot Tibor lost the key, but you can jimmy it open with a credit card.

i had forgotten that joke!!

Grandpa: I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.

I think this everytime I look at the brostep thread.

"stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe, da da da da, da daaa da, insurance fraud today!"

You kids don't know Grand Funk? The wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? The competent drumwork of Don Brewer? Oh, man!

Followed immediately by a quote whose punchline has worked its way into my everyday vocab: "Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft."

Yup, Homerpalooza was the source of my Grandpa quote, too; just watched it the other day.

Marge: What's wrong, Homie?
Homer: (sighs) I went to the record store today and they were playing
all that music I've never heard of. It was like the store had
gone crazy.
Marge: Hmm. Record stores have always seemed crazy to me, but it
doesn't upset me. Music is none of my business.

Every line in that is quotable.
"Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

My favorite, more for the delivery than the line itself, is Peter Frampton's exasperated, "Come on! Do you feel!"

My four-year-old's obsessed with the Simpsons at the moment, which is great because I'm rewatching old episodes for the first time in years, but it does mean she now uses phrases like "What the hell?" It's swearier than I remember.

Looking over the transcript for "Homerpalooza" it's just . . . credited writer Brent Forrester is listed as the writer of four episodes: This, "Homer vs. Patty & Selma," "22 Short Films About Springfield" and "Lemon of Troy," and they're all absolute gold. Regardless of who in the writer's room wrote what jokes, the episodes themselves are all GOAT territory.

Homer: I see these kids now with "Jive" printed on their shirts. Pftt... Now, I can teach you how you're supposed to say "jive".
Lisa: Dad... Please just drive the car, dad.
Homer: I'm watching the road, sweetie. You jive turkey. See? You got to sass it. Quit jivin' me, turkey. You got to sass it. A "turkey" is a bad person.

I mean can I just

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7tn9lSERpA

One of my favorite moments in the whole series:

Marge: I'm sorry: Homer doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a very complicated man.
[Homer appears at the bedroom window, breaks a plate over his head]
Homer: Wrong!

^^^^^^^^^ YES

"22 Short Films About Springfield" and "Lemon of Troy" are easily 2 of my top 10 alltime. Wonder what it would take to get Forrester to make a return. Quick look at wiki shows he wrote a number of episodes for "The Office," too.

Hmmm, he also wrote the screenplay for this (never heard of it, but it doesn't look promising...)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/be/The_Stupids.jpg

According to the commentaries, writing credit goes to whoever came up with the idea for the episode. Some/many/most of the jokes may have been written by others (e.g, John Vitti is credited with "Mr. Plow," but Conan O'Brien came up with the radio-dial gag).

It's swearier than I remember.

I love it when Bart swears on purpose "crap boobs crap!" and "hell damn fart!"

"You're insincere. I like that."

http://www.avclub.com/articles/clueless-case-file-185-the-stupids,53858/

Well he may have all the money in the world but there's one thing he can't buy

What's that?

...

A DINOSAUR

Frink: Oh, wait a minute, this isn't the monsterometer, it's the frog exaggerator!

Published on 1 Mar 2013

You've seen the rest, now watch the best. It's The Simpsons Harlem Shake!

Kiss my asphalt

I call him Gamblor

That sounded like a pig fainting

It's more of a Shelbyville idea

I told them to slice my sandwich!

It was the olden days!

You ate all the tarragon and you drank all the soy sauce

That was a gutsy decision!

being at a NYE party that didn't acknowledge midnight made me think of "remember that New Year's Eve party at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock".

the ep where Oscar De La Hoya says "Dios Mio! This kid is fun to hit!" re: Martin Prince was on today, still the funniest line ever

Shut your squeal hole booze jockey

pipe down rub a dub

"jagged metal Krusty-O" came up today for the first time in years, & I feel ten pounds lighter

Hand me my patching trowel

"operation mail-take"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!"

Even stink beetles??

I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.

Then to the Duff brewery

haha

buy three tubes of mister blister, get one free

Thanks, Benevenstanciano!

Allan the cowboy

I love you, Pepsi.

What have I done to deserve this flat flavourless Manhattan?

^^ I swear to god I thought of that one just yesterday.

Ann Landers is a boring old biddy

I hear those things are awfully loud

Unbelievable, and just imagine the logistics of weightlessness.

I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.

Queen of the harpies!

Here's your crown YOUR MAJESTY!

Aw, nuts! I mean, uh … aw, nuts!

I'm a guy like me!

When you go home tonight, there's gonna be another floor on your house!

"How does your Mom usually punish you?"
"She makes me taste beer"

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand."

I was thinking recently about how this ^^ - said to his heartbroken child - is a stunningly cruel thing to hear in a TV show. This show could be dark at times.

Hommer: bart! go to your room!

bart: eat my shorts!

ned flanders: hidely-ho, neighborino!

homer: shut up, flanders

(Skinner, in Bart's daydream:) "Class, instead of going to the box factory, we'll be going to the.....box factory"

In the spirit of why Leee started this thread, last night my bf was telling me how he'd said to another (cranky junkie just-got-dumped) friend of ours that his relaysh with me was going really well, and that the guys face fell, like he was really bummed/jealous.

All I could think to say was "so basically, you told him you sleep in a big bed with your wife?".

were they the big man at the crack factory

OMG lol

homer: mmm, donuts

bart: don't have a cow man

nelson: ha ha!

everytime i've started a new job or moved to a new office and i find the new bathroom i'll regularly be using i say "ahhh my new watering hole"

that's not what a watering hole is

some watering holes smell like bathrooms tbf

"Daddy, this place smells like tinkle!"

"Yes, yes it does."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BaTNV5pCMAES2VO.jpg

xp yea number none I know what a watering hole is

I mean i took the phrase from a scene where homer is in a fuckin bar and not a bathrom

Well it says here we're Ratt

Now whar's me toothpick?

bf has taken to putting beercaps on my head and calling me queen of the harpies, recently.

Where's my spy camera?

that ep is def. top ten all time. easily best of the season

A co-worker of mine was talking to his mother on the phone just now, and mentioned his wife and kids going to the county fair with some friends and said, "They're Albanians," and before I could stop myself I interjected, "You mean all white with pink eyes?"

I hope he got the reference.

He did!

stuck in my head since I came across it again last weekend.

"If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV." "What's on?" "It doesn't matter."

and:

"I was a fool to help that horrible old man!" "I hope you learned your lesson Lisa. Never help anyone."

Someone at work was asking of a training aid designed by one of our other sites "What's inside the electrical cabinet?"

I couldn't help saying "a family of possums. The big one is called Bitey."

ONE OTHER PERSON got it.

Mission accomplished, man. Also get a job at a better company.

Has the show got better again? I remember several people saying it had gone seriously downhill a bit over a decade ago so I haven't really sat through new ones since. Noticed the drop in quality and move toward formula at the time. It involved things including the treatment of the characterisation of Homer where he just became mindlessly stupid.
It also moved away from the visual quotations of films which I liked from earlier seasons.
I noticed it went from sidesplittingly funny to just about humourous and largely formulaic.
So has it got good again?

Not that I've noticed. The recent flurry of posts here is for old episodes.

yup - if I ever see anything that I think is new I switch off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7trn91xkJ0w

"What was her problem?"

https://langui.sh/2016/02/02/frinkiac-the-simpsons-screenshot-search-engine/

e.g. https://frinkiac.com/?p=search&q=i%27m+a+white+male&e=S04E09&t=614863

https://frinkiac.com/?p=search&q=ever+been+to+a+dentist

https://frinkiac.com/?p=caption&q=The+tar+fumes+are+making+me+dizzy&e=S04E15&t=641256

"Malibu Stacy: America's favorite eight-and-a-half incher..."

I can never resist saying, after completing almost any domestic task from washing the dishes to making the bed, "And that's the end of that chapter"

Skinner: "excuse me is there an orange Julius stand on this floor?"

Lionel Hutz: "I'll sell you this one, its almost full!"

Skinner: "well why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl?" *walks away*

Lionel Hutz: "he'll be back"

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-20aTBCmpzEw/VzjUbYCssBI/AAAAAAAAYMI/mBYLYxLOJHI4Jl4xv3UHKuTkl4M2ayoxQCLcB/s1600/allyoucaneat.jpg

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2018/09/18/man-who-ate-plates-sushi-banned-all-you-can-eat-buffet/?utm_term=.20d48c9c9b30

[Aging congressman has heart attack]

Marge: Quick! Somebody perform CPR!

Homer: [Thinks for a moment, starts singing] I see a bad moon rising

Are you mad, Frink! Put down that science pole!

Speaking of Frink: "Ivan Reitman!"

Not sure what prompted the below exchange to pop into my head this morning but it made me happy:

Grimey: But it's a contest for children!
Lenny: Yeah! And Homer beat their brains out!

It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed

But what about daddy daughter day?

You've got a date with the Xerox machine

It's a regional dialect

Let's see if they wore underwear back then

I am sad to report that I have reached the age where classic-era Simpsons is way more fun to quote than to watch

That said...

no one who speaks German could be an evil man!