PSG ne sera pas sur cette chose - It's the Champions League 2017-2018 thread

Group A: Benfica, Manchester United, Basel, CSKA Moscow
Group B: Bayern Munich, Paris St-Germain, Anderlecht, Celtic
Group C: Chelsea, Atlético Madrid, Roma, Qarabag FK
Group D: Juventus, Barcelona, Olympiakos, Sporting Clube de Portugal
Group E: Spartak Moscow, Sevilla, Liverpool, Maribor
Group F: Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City, Napoli, Feyenoord
Group G: Monaco, Porto, Besiktas, RB Leipzig
Group H: Real Madrid, Borussia Dortmund, Tottenham, Apoel Nicosia

Group B: Bayern Munich, Paris St-Germain, Anderlecht, Celtic

well we can possibly beat anderlecht at home!

At last we manage to avoid Barcelona - when they're shite.

ah barca would still pump celtic tbh. I'm very glad we didnae get them again because I'm bored of them.

FC Bayern and Qatari Saint Germain are going to humble us

Fuck

Race for third place very much on imo. xp

RIP Spurs

And fuck our being in pot 3. Cunts

Can see that wee shite, Neymar, filling his boots against our comedy centre backs.

This season of EU Moneyball football is already worth it for having Celtic and supporting ilxors back

And Rodgers who we like again

Aye!

surely man utd can't fuck that group up. and surely liverpool can.

Diego Costa has to join Atletico Madrid now!

Bought tickets for all three group games on sight again and on the assumption we aren't getting out of the group it might actually be enjoyable this time round.

Except I'm on holiday and will miss the first one and it will inevitably turn out to be the Real game.

Turns out sigurdson is worth all that money @Everton pic.twitter.com/tmYkuWljW8

— AM⚫️⚪️ (@Alan_Murray4) August 24, 2017

Nice

what kind of buffoon ever doubted his worth?

Ajax demoted from finalist to not even reaching the group stages of the EL in a mere three months. After 52 (!) years of qualifying for European football. 200m on the bank but unable to put a team together to reach the group phase.

Fenerbahce managed to lose home and away to Vardar of Macedonia too.

That's another big surprise, yeah (though I don't know Turkish football tbh).

Mbappe / Cavani / Neymar all starting against Celtic. Dembele making his first start for Barca vs Juve.

Very interesting to see if Barca can do better than last season. Doubt it tbh.

Celtic-PSG 0-0

Pah! Er... Jozo Simunovic is back for us, er.... (xp)

(xp) Can't see a goal not being scored, it's Neymar et al vs. Brendan Rodgers after all.

It's wishful thinking tbh

Comparing the two teamsheets is pretty sobering.

7 - 3 PSG imo haha

A 21 year old, two 20 years olds and an 18 year old in Celtic's starting line up - and Mbappe's younger than any of them.

Pogba's done his hammy. Disaster

We were lolling in the pub at Fellaini coming on as like for like

Herrera's not even on the bench for some bizarre reason

always enjoy a coach in a wet suit

Young to Fellaini lol

Can't find the link anymore but Mourinho had a real "the bed's too big without you" thing to say about Fellaini recently, when he's not available. He really loves that dude.

"He's an important player for me - a lot more important than you can imagine. I feel weaker without Fellaini in my squad, doesn't matter if it's on the pitch or on the bench. If his conditions are improved, he will be selected, I need him."

Messi scores! Lovely one-two with Suarez.

xp That's it!

First ever goal of Messi against Buffon. He's really doing great since Neymar left tbh

Can see PSG scoring 7, can't see Celtic scoring 1 let alone 3.

Though I actually can't see anything because I'm going home and not watching the second half.

love mata's look of pure delight at the sight of fellaini heading a ball
https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/e56a37a5975e5ab3183012b7139b0dcfea75552d/0_0_3500_2373/master/3500.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=a13966c1a44e71054772bf54c2c2255b

Aye, 7-0 my new prediction

xp That photo could have been of Lukaku's goal just now!

Barca 2-0!!

Cannot help being reduced to total embarrassing fanboy when Messi gets his gear on

Yeah. He is ridiculous.

Qarabag worse than Celtic at least.

keep believing

Celtic not too bad!

Poor Qarabag ;_;

PSG are, uh, not bad, for sure.

some sound thrashings tonight

Oh fuck, spoke too soon.

A Celtic fan ran on the pitch and tried to kick Mbappe?

Yup, he ended up doing a fresh air kick. Looked like a young lad, mibbe 18 or so.

Almost ten years since one of our fans punched fresh air next to Dida's face when we beat AC Milan 2-1 at Parkhead.

Souness reckons Fellaini is more effective than Pogba

he hates Pogba with a passion. It's embarrassing

Fellaini did really well tonight though

he did. He's a very Mou player. He's a very Souness player. Basle wasn't much of a technical.challenge tho

Yup, he ended up doing a fresh air kick. Looked like a young lad, mibbe 18 or so.

Older than Mbappe probably. You've got hand it to Rodgers, he believes in rewriting the record books: entire league season undefeated, biggest away defeat in Celtic's European history, and not biggest home defeat in Celtic's European history.

NOW biggest home defeat in Celtic's European history ffs.

Finishing above Anderlecht has always been the aim though.

What are the neutrals watching tonight? Torn between spurs-Dortmund and Liverpool-Sevilla

Both look pretty exciting!

any tips for how i watch this without having bt sport?

Acestream, streams on livefootylol or something like that if you google

Sopcast been sick lately I'm afraid.

check /r/soccerstreams

Yeah if you're just streaming to a pc or laptop I think soccerstreams is easily most reliable.

Well worth getting a chromecast for that imo, being able to throw really solid hd streams of any football match to the tv with no extra faffing about is well worth £30

well worth it.

makes sense. ended up getting a bt login from a mate. i would pay for bt sport tbh but they literally won't let me, their product is structured in a way that means i can't access it. fucking infuriating.

streams are good now

have been for some time

my bt box is refusing to connect to the internet and I'm thinking this might be the prompt to cancel

Some of us have the TV pc ahem ahem

Thanks for the soccerstreams tip American are are much saner than russian

off to a great start

Yeah that whole move was fucking tight

Sensational finish

meanwhile, Liverpool have conceded in shambolic fashion

lol i was talking about the liverpool game

Ha

reckon they'll still win

Rats

Oh what a beauty

Turn this one on lads imo

Always wanted Yarmolenko to step up to a big club but would have preferred he waited a week or two.

That was sadly inevitable once we started defending that fourth minute lead tbf

I'm going to taken this game to bed tonight and show it a real gentlemanly time

Imo that's a red card on replay and looking at the leading elbow

Liverpool back in it.

lol i just switched over

strikingly similar to sevilla's opener

except they actually made us run.

salah is a funny player to have an opinion about. he's got bags of talent, he's a handful for sure, but decision-making is a bit off maybe. overall a good addition.

mane is the beating heart of this team.

Breathless opening half hour here

spurs not looking like spurs

sounds like a thriller

If anything Dortmund look like us

Ridiculous yellow that

salah is a funny player to have an opinion about. he's got bags of talent, he's a handful for sure, but decision-making is a bit off maybe. overall a good addition.

I feel the same way about Mkhitaryan, but Salah is basically a hyper-charged version

Aurier looks good. Vexing

he is just all-action, it's hard not to love him and he's scored a few but feels like he's missed bags of chances.

this game is ridiculous also. firmino unlucky with that pen.

xpost.

Aurier, Sanchez and son not gonna allow this to get boring anyway

Very spursy players each of them, just good versions of it

dortmund seem to have >70% possession attacking with 8 players and spurs not able to string anything together just the occasional long ball & not looking comfortable

Aurier on a good day is amongst very best RBs

not as fast as pulisic tho

Spurs breaking easily and could.prob have scored two more since ht

Who even is Ben Davies now

Very bad offside call there to keep spurs ahead, beautiful goal too

Game is nuts, bvb hard done by at 3 1 down

spurs much better this half but still looks like either side could score at any moment

liverpool dominant. 2-1 still. be 2-2 at full-time obv.

this dortmund performance one of the most batshit i have ever seen. keeper receives the ball a few yards from the centre circle

Fuuuuuck

fuck this shit seriously

Otm ogmor absolutely crazy stuff and result could've been anything

Red for elbow vertongjen

Clumsy and not wrong but harsh

second yellow apparently?

Red for Gomez

jfc

can't stick a season of this desperately predictable and fucking maddening defence.

it's fucking torture.

Always next year

Hate klopp now

was klopp just having a go at the other coach

Klopp's always been a prick under the meme-friendly facade

just seeing more of it now

think they had a go at him. he was saying "why are you shouting at me" - their manager obv a prize cunt too, he got sent off.

xpost klopp is obv great - man u fans wishing someone was as big a cunt as mourinho.

plenty of cunts to go around

he was saying "what have I done?"

ah -- i've been secretively watching on a muted feed at work because apparently none of my appointments are actually showing up

he defo said "why are you shouting at me" as well. it seems they blamed him for the manager getting sent off - that's the sum of what i heard.

he also launched an astonishing broadside against ilx poster number none.

it's claimed that Klopp was also observed saying "I'm not shouting, you're shouting" and "Why are you hitting yourself?" at the visibly enraged Sevilla coaching staff

Lol

haha

Only saw highlights just now but that looked p harsh on Dortmund. How can you give offside to Aubameyangs goal?

They had two disallowed quite arguable, Kane probably fouled defender in leadup to his goal, his second was deflected, lloris saved one point blank, we should have scored another two or three, it was a brilliant brilliant game of football

Everton 2-0 behind against Atalanta. They're so incredibly dull and poor.

Three behind.

Not sure Koeman is going to last much longer than De Boer.

Not at this rate.

Rooney dropping to the back four to pick up the ball was an awful familiar, sore sight.

Klaasen, Siggurdson and Rooney was a bizarre combination of signings when they desperately needed a striker. They're so fucking slow too

Arsenal game delayed as 20,000 ticketless Cologne fans trying to get in apparently

They marched up the centre of London today, causing some little mayhem apparently.

Koln fans fighting with stewards inside Emirates stadium. Group arrived in home end and fought their way into away section. pic.twitter.com/7RC17WZyz2

— Richard Conway (@richard_conway) September 14, 2017

Oh my word! 😱

That was worth the wait!

Jhon Córdoba puts FC Köln ahead with a 45-yard strike! 👏 pic.twitter.com/R9wzfo1eoe

— BT Sport Football (@btsportfootball) September 14, 2017

Lloris;
Trippier, Alderweireld, Sánchez, Davies;
Winks, Dier
Aurier, Sissoko, Son;
Kane.

idk how busy Boy Waterman is going to be tonight,

This is very much like watching England.

Kane hattrick.

In light of some of the grandiose claims that have been made this week I feel like we need a 'How good is Harry Kane really?' thread soon. How is he perceived/rated in other countries right now?

Pretty good? He severely lacks charisma tho. Not needed to be a great player, but it might put a dent into how he is rated. One of the best out there these days, surely.

Fucking Ronaldo

Ronaldo just got his second, almost took the net off. 3-1 real.

Lol he is wonderful what are you on about

Hate him with all my guts, would disown kids who'd support him, and I like BVB etc

People I've spoken to about Spurs outside the UK have seemed more excited about Alli than Kane, though that was before this season started.

^^ that's me, too. But with the important addition of "before this season".

City only at 2-0 but they've played Shaktar senseless. Great, flowing stuff.

Most endearing thing about Kane is his uncanny ability to look bang average while secretly being the best striker in Europe (ronaldo doesn't count imo)

Ronaldo DEF doesn't count ;)

Studge and Salah missing sitters to win this for Liverpool

Thank fuck I didn't watch Liverpool tonight

To paraphrase Windsor yes, the thing with Kane is he's far more functional than beautiful, but he's really fucking functional

He just seems to have this laser focused drive to keep improving that you just don't see in even the most talented English players very often.

he's like a talented scott parker

Haha otm.

If he'd had a man-bun like Bale he'd be worth twice as much. Strange days indeed.

No charisma, scores lots of goals - not exactly unprecedented for English centre forwards, tbh.

Not reliant on white referees ignoring thuggery tbf

If he'd had a man-bun like Bale he'd be worth twice as much

Already worth more than anyone could feasibly pay, even in today's market.

English player premium x preposterously prolific striker x only 24 years old x not being a total fuckin diva to try and work with x the Daniel Levy factor

Maybe if several oil-rich states decide to club together it could be done, but until Kane forces the issue I think he's probably as close to unbuyable as any players get in 2017

Ie. Not Rooney.

xp

@Windsor, no player is unbuyable. He'll not sell as many shirts as Neymar, even though he arguably is better. But he's way duller, and I bet he voted for Brexit - or worse, didn't vote at all. 200m transfer to West Ham in 2021 is on the cards.

He'd be perfect for Real Madrid, replacing Benzema, as much as I hate to admit it.

Kane isn't good enough for a top club

Now fuck off

Have you seen Benzema the last year and a half? Not even I could be worse. Kane would flourish there.

Closer to a more versatile Lineker than a Shearer or Rooney

I hope the space-time continuum won't allow it, hate Madrid with all my heart, but he'd be perfect there.

Needs three chances to score, doesn't create enough for team mates

Sissoko. Sissoko makes this team tick. You want sissoko.

"not Rooney" is a remarkably complete description of Kane tbh

I'll point you to my Patreon shortly, I expect no less than to get filthy rich off of that description.

multiple xposts to LBI

Brexit thing seems a little bit ad hom? he comes off like a thoroughly cosmopolitan young gentleman whenever he's interviewed. also presumably unfazed by the idea of low-wage European labour coming over to undercut him and take his job after the way the Janssen thing went

anyway, i didn't actually say he was unbuyable, i said he was as close as you're gonna get in modern football. given the new paradigm ushered in by the Mbappe/Dembele deals (150m is about what it costs now to buy a player who might turn out to be the best in the world in 5 years, all being well), Harry Kane is easily worth a new transfer record (this'll be Levy's bargaining position at least) and unlike with the whole Neymar/Barca thing, there's nothing in his contract forcing Spurs to sell.

Sissoko man sissoko

No ad hom, merely ILF challops tbh. The lad's alright probably. I was being cocky.

On the transfer thing: the tendency seems to be that clubs - eager to sign the next hot star - splash out more for not nearly/unproven players like Mbappé or Dembele. The dream is always bigger than reality. Ie. the promise of "potentially the greatest player ever" seems to be worth more than great players who are still young yet have proven themselves (ie. Kane). Ofcourse Kane is worth more than Mbappé. Way more. But I wouldn't bet on it if it actually plays out that way.

Lol Deems

Kane is....English dzeko? English huntelaar?

Competency unquestionable and consistency beyond hot-streak at this stage but rarely shows anything that would have a trainee thinking "I'll never be at that level"

Where does he live? Is he married? Pretty sure he doesn't have a Colleen hidden in his basement.

Dzeko and Huntelaar otm. He's the English Inzaghi, for now. Until Madrid pick him up and the earth proves to be flat etc

xp Besides bagging hattricks in the champs league obvs

Would be interested to know where people think alli's ceiling is

Allis ceiling is below what he was rated at during our late season run last season imho

Alli seems tricky. He's got the skills rough diamond like, but the flipping the finger and other shenanigans (stamping on someone's ankle, for one), idk. More talent than Kane obv, but maybe not boring and level-headed enough to make it in this world.

Not sure that it is necessarily obvious that alli is more talented than Kane? joke about kane's low-key demeanour all you like, his performance against Dortmund the other day was astonishing. Not seen the goals from tonight yet

Alli makes bad decisions and has had a few stinking games lately where his base level of technique was amateur

At his best he looks the type/level of player that Kane doesn't, highlights reel, creative, supernatural creative/imaginative stuff.

Not a complaint to bemoan his wide variance of performance within this range, his level of consistency and end product since his late teens has been staggering.

But I think Kane could stay at spurs his whole career and prove that the past three years are no blip. I'm getting a feeling that Alli could regress either in situ or after a huge transfer, and I don't think poch has him under control despite public approval of his bite or w/e

dele is spiky and flash, all perma-frown & elbows, struggling to be perfect with his one good foot. kane has jettisoned his ego in the name of efficiency. the part of the brain normally used for charm has instead been dedicated to neatly side-footing the ball into the bottom corner. he's the perfect poch striker: inexorable rather than devastating; adapts to the game rather than bends it to his will; too steady & reliable to stop improving. he seems much more likely to stay for the long term than dele, and I'm not sure he's the rare english player that wants to play abroad. they work very well together in the league, and it'll be interested to see if they can do it in europe if spurs start to better control games.

Maybe if several oil-rich states decide to club together it could be done, but until Kane forces the issue I think he's probably as close to unbuyable as any players get in 2017

don't see that at all. if someone bid 150m or 200m he'd be gone in a week.

Spurs won't keep him for long unless they change the wage structure. All the sentiment in the world won't matter if he is on £120k and the going rate for strikers of his calibre is three or four times that.

xp i'm not sure that's true, what use wld levy have for 150m right now? everything's going to plan, kane doesn't want away, and spurs have had the cautionary experience of the bale money

they are building a massive new stadium and can't seem to afford to pay anyone v much. i'm sure levy considers the bale sale a success.

150m isn't 150m now

200m might

But

Like LFC and Coutinho, if we can assume that a 120m bid or whatever did come in during the summer there, it's.....idk....cash is shit atm. English teams don't use it well. English clubs very rarely have a setup where a player - whatever his cost, but usually in this geographic context inflated- can be reliably identified, obtained, assimilated. Southampton a notable exception.

So, sell Kane or player X for what seems like a bundle, lovely. Replace him with a worse player for only slightly less because everyone knows you have cash and must be seen to spend it and react to losing a star but you can't either afford not satisfy a player of the same level else player X would still be there.

Then on top of that, the risk of it not working out because of the obscure alchemy involved and ...... Arsenal otm?

I can see him staying at Spurs tbh, he has a Shearer like quality, in so many ways.

the wage issue won't be solved by a one-off injection of cash. the stadium & everything else is all budgeted for. the bale sale was inevitable and was managed well considering, but it shows what a risk the money can be. missing out on the CL would eat up a good chunk of that money and given how tight the top of the league is it seems like too big a risk to say that they'd definitely to the first big bidder

...definitely sell to the first big bidder...

Bob Mortimer’s impersonations of Kane on his Athletico Mince podcast are how I imagine Harry talks all the time now

can't cope with athletico mince since i saw andy dawson's twitter

Yeah id just started listening to the gangs of the EPL stuff on athletico mince with the hilarious spurs gang when I saw Kane and alli doing their ridiculous handshake celebration, perfect

What's up with Andy Dawson's twitter?

he's an incredibly defensive, radgy, miserable, anti-intellectual common-sense type with a huge inferiority complex & he's constantly throwing his toys out the pram

He's also responsible for Get In The Sea and I consequently refuse to engage with anything else he does.

are you saying he should

cska having a shocker here

hilariously bad

nice to see Martial making hay though

PSG two up vs Bayern. They look like they could cut through anyone at the moment.

Just got home. What second half to watch?

Neuer would've had that Cavani shot tbh

Chelsea Atletico game seems well poised

Utd are home and dry

celtic go 2-0 up

why is united wearing prison uniforms

PSG are peachy

Celtic should be more than 2-0 too, they're winning this at a canter.

Basel beating Benfica 5-0 is O_o

Seriously!

Ancelotti out after tonight? This is embarrassing stuff, and he was half on the out already w/ Nagelsmann lined-up to replace him. PSG can bring Di Maria and Draxler from the bench, jeez

Chelsea have scored :(

lol

Cox out

2-1 Chelsea with final touch! Absolutely deserved, superb performance. One of the best away performances in Europe I've seen in recent years

— Michael Cox (@Zonal_Marking) September 27, 2017

At this rate Batshuayi going to be directly responsible for more success than anyone else in Chelsea's history.

Putin tbf

right, celtic just need to beat anderlecht ad bayern at home now and we could possibly be through to the next 16. we're on the road to kiev lads

lol @ Diego Costa in the crowd with his head in his hands

right, celtic just need to beat anderlecht ad bayern at home now and we could possibly be through to the next 16. we're on the road to kiev lads

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, September 27, 2017 2:21 PM (thirty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

excluding qualifying rounds this is the biggest away win in europe for celtic in 40 years

Could easily have been 5-0 too - though, to put that in perspective, PSG could easily have beaten us 8-0.

Okay, FC Basel’s Oberlin is rather quick. pic.twitter.com/5Z1QQsEONl

— Jordan Clarke (@FourFourJordan) September 27, 2017

Love that run. Also the bowing of the head to run even faster.

Ancelotti out after tonight? This is embarrassing stuff, and he was half on the out already w/ Nagelsmann lined-up to replace him. PSG can bring Di Maria and Draxler from the bench, jeez

― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 27 September 2017 20:29 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you called it lbi

It was inevitable, really. No Oktoberfesten for Carlo.

tongues wagging in the west ham boardroom?

We're on our way to Kiev after all.

I don't want to give Deems a coronary but Poch appears to have decided that the Bernabeu is the place to try playing 442 for the first time.

hmmm, it seems this City team might be quite good

statement of intent from liverpool - maribor won't forget this 3-2 victory.

Absolutely. Pleasure to see them play tbh. xp

Mourinho vindicated

lol

jesus, 4-0. this team badly needs a big win, against anyone.

Ah, Aurier...

ffs lads letting the Ox score?

Spartak 5-1 up vs Sevilla O_o

Spurs six points ahead of Dortmund now.

Pour one out für BVB.

World class from Lloris tonight, absolutely incredible.

Indeed

Lloris at his absolute best. Check these saves out: pic.twitter.com/yCa5T8VV3P

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) October 17, 2017

Worth noting Madrid keeper in fact had a better night tbf

That was super stuff.

Eriksen had his worst ever game tho, with him at it we would have won that comfortably imo

United being boring cunts as per

one of the worst halves of football I've ever seen from Mkhitaryan

looks like the Armenian Rooney the past few weeks

Celtic getting murdered again. At this point I don't really know what the point is in teams like Celtic being in the Champions League anymore, can't we just take the money and go straight into the Europa League?

dzeko goal was quite something

bizarre goal for Utd

Rashford tried to score (and went close) from two corners in a row

then does the same with a free kick from way out, keeper accidentally carries it over the line

dzeko goal was quite something

― mookieproof, Wednesday, October 18, 2017 1:07 PM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ooft, italian chef kissing fingers gif material

Celtic getting murdered again. At this point I don't really know what the point is in teams like Celtic being in the Champions League anymore, can't we just take the money and go straight into the Europa League?

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Wednesday, October 18, 2017 1:04 PM (seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i occasionally will take time off work to watch the celts in the champions league. not for games like these

Yes, it's excruciating wondering when the next record defeat is due. Apart from Tierney, none of these players are good enough to play against these teams.

It will come to that sooner or later, a super CL for the ultra rich. The divide is way too big.

And I'm fine with that bcz I'd rather watch an interesting Celtic-PSV tie than getting hammered every time with 4-0 or w/e.

OTM, fuck the Champions League, I hate most of the teams in it anyway. My greatest fear, which hasn't happened yet, is losing 6-0 or something to Chelsea or Man City or, Jesus Christ Almighty, Spurs.

Tbf Spurs will never score six

I don't agree with having an elite CL. We'd miss out on surprises like Monaco last year

Atleti bottom of the group as things stand. Losing at home to Qarabag.

O_0

Major bummer if Celtic don't get something out of this game tbh but it's looking that way right now.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS

Don’t celebrate too soon.

Then, shortly after NAWWWWWWW. Not helped by having a German, sitting just along from me, bursting out laughing when they scored. Fucking London innit?

shiter!

im in the work following via the medium of text

Fucking Bayern fans tho, not for nothing are they known as the Man Utd of Germany

PSG goals for / against is 17:0 after four games. The left-back Kurzawa got a hatrrick tonight.

Wow, they left and yet more Germans have taken their place, "Excuse me are the seats taken?"

Still, Anderlecht are shite and Chelsea are getting humped so it's not all bad.

Space between Madrid centre halves is bizzarre

Gonna be a cracker

spurs playing a very high line

Both teams playing silly buggers in defence and waiting to spring from halfway

Is eriksen under contract to be shit against madrid

Fuck there goes Toby's hamstring fuck

Just want to note dele was having a stinker until that you little beauty you

Lots of opportunities to split this narrow defence but the final pass is poor so far

winks and trippier combining against real madrid what a world

Trippier the best at that first time heel cross since idk Gary Neville

Dele still being a bit lost but most playing well

Sissoko shocks me when I think he can't any more

football is shite y/n

switched from rm-spurs to napoli-city, briefly to shaktar-lol feyenoord. will settle for napoli-city. for now. love seeing madrid being beat but it's not... very good.

:D

Remarkable defending by Madrid though.

Yeah I mean dele still having a stinker winks out best midfielder by miles.

Kane is absolutely immense out there

one can only lol

Football is good again.

Ten ten ten!

APOEL have equalised against Dortmund.

Starting to shrink here

Sissoko stinking even off the ball he is throwing everything off

what a night!

What even is this

omg

Beautiful counter attack

madrid jut lost to girona at the weekend, now this.

zizou out

Always had faith Spurs could match Girona

this is pure pleasure

Aguero 2-3

Davies needs off he's limping around and d rose could kill them rn

Imagine we hadn't sissoko

He is killing us. Trippier has to do two jobs off the ball for this coward.

Very poor in that last twenty minutes poch out

yeah that's definitely the best result in my life as a spurs fan

A few of the 'must wins' against Chelsea and city the past few years would be up there but as a game that both teams could go for without a huge amount riding on it that was great

Congrats guys.

City are crazy good rn, too.

Shame youse didn't break one of Cron's legs though.

Dembele given another few mins maybe....

He was reckless but I can't help loving that guy

I prefer when he surfs over other professionals rather than diving into them tbh

I'm on the way back from the game with a definitive and literal answer to my often asked rhetorical question about whether Spurs fans would still whinge when 3-0 up against Real Madrid. Mostly aimed at Sissoko admittedly.

Goes without saying that's the best football watching experience of my life.

Haha yes look it was amazing

My first three will be called Harry, Harry and Pochin

I was talking about the people in the stadium - I'd be disappointed in anything else from you!

Trippier turned into Roberto Carlos in that first half. Annoyed I missed Dele nutmegging Sergio Ramos though. Really took the shine off the night.

If dele died now his first and last touches in a spurs shirt would be Madrid megs iirc

If poch can drill consistency into Trippier then I genuinely believe Walker won't last as England RB

And that would be fucking sweet.

Still feel like Dier hasn't gotten back to his general level of performance of two years ago but he is an absolute daddy in this group, the like we haven't seen since Sandro in our last CL run

And Rose, Dembele and Wanyama to come back into this first XI, probably.

Really enjoyed Spurs tonight.

I'd sort of classified Kane as a productive Big with Good Feet but there's so much more to his game and he is a genuine pleasure to watch.

Alli, on the other hand, I cannot fucking abide. Every game sees him falling/diving and throwing a Cronesque tantrum about not getting whatever fucking decisions he imagines he's owed. He's so strange to watch as he seems to genuinely believe his own lies.

You know how as a fan you shout for all kinds of crap when your own man goes down just because, well, it's your team and you're a wee tiny part of the Twelfth Man? It would stick in my craw if I was a Spurs fan and had to keep yelling for penalties for him.

Anyway, congrats to the ILF Spurs contingent - looking dangerously like a Big Club!

Broadly otm on both imo

Kane for England is the former, maybe.

Dele is 70% annoying.

Oh Dele is one World Cup away from being one of the most hated players in the league, definitely.

Kane was some way below his best last night, which I'd attribute to the injury. He ran right through the Real defence on several occasions but fluffed it. One thing you really get from the top tier of Wembley is a sense of formation and shape and individual player movement and Kane's is excellent. It's just nebulous "knowing how to play football" and it means that his general lack of pace and power doesn't matter as much. He's definitely not a Big.

FWIW I was doing some supremely nerdy Opta stat shit for our Fantasy League the other week and Alli *is* actually the most fouled player in the league at the moment. He also gets an absolute shitload in on other people as well.

The boy gets into the mix

Kanes power is underrated. That guy gives centre halves a battering and it's almost always the first part of a combo of pass/feint as opposed to carrollingian "it's the total of my job to collide with u"

Trippier tho.

Winks tho.

Vertonghen, Davies

Sanchez, srsly!

^^^the start of deems' finest poem yet

As irl, it's a struggle to fit sissoko in

gonna be a bit of a come down when they get turned over by palace at the weekend

Don't worry I'm still very much of the view that it's been a bad week for poch and he should be feeling the pressure

might have to start a new board if they win a trophy

Trophies didn't save houllier mannn

Skipping 225 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i guess there might be a post from yesterday afternoon i want to read...

Memphis the https://emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/thumbs/120/apple/114/goat_1f410.png

The fuck are the wing backs at dictating offside line wake the fuck up lads

When did son becomes this teams vital player

This is an insanely attacking XI. Guess we're going all out to win the group.

Spurs will win the group if they beat APOEL irrespective of what happens here iirc so they might as well have fun tonight.

Monaco and Sevilla both getting thumped.

Super Dortmund goal

We were just getting a bit of rhythm too

Enjoying this but attacking players seem to have no touch of late.

When did we get so bad at set plays

Also remember when Vertonghen was good a fortnight ago? Yeah not so much now.

The amount of misplaced five yard passes is nuts

Jesus two great saves from their keeper there

apoel is being crushed

Burki has been amazing today. Already stoked for the songs if Zagadou comes to the Premiership.

Apparently liverpool are doing alright btw

2 goals from corners! Inconceivable!

Obligatory idiot goal conceded

Self parody this

Ref a clown

Aurier miles from standard reqd

glad i'm not able to watch this, literally just swore when i checked up on whoscored

Dat finish do

https://imgtc.com/w/8gwEYbp

Amazing from Dele.

Good strength but it's bounced off the two lads and out tbf

Rose has been unstoppable tonight utd fans will be licking their lips

Shocking pace and everything else from llorente there

Into the final minute, Liverpool look like they have done the job.

have bbc sport ever watched this team? or even this match?

xp the most literal example of 'his second touch is a tackle' I can conceive

He took off like a rocket I was trying to figure out who the hell it was

Fuckit stream died

have bbc sport ever watched this team? or even this match?

There it is

have bbc sport ever watched this team? or even this match?

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, November 21, 2017 3:33 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rueful LOL

It's no wonder Rose gets injured

Oh Liverpool...

Oh judge

Jesus Liverpool wtf

The new old spurs

Oh well we only need to beat spartak moscow at home to win the group now which will be easy

true, it's more the quick reminder of what a clown car we can be after a few good results.

tbh the group stage is such a sedated shit show you could come second and it makes no diff.

One consistent team is going to win the league every year now until we all die NB not us or ye

Just seeing highlights oh god moreno

don't worry as soon as you start beating all the top four teams you'll begin losing to the rest. as soon as you fix the defence the attack will be shit. then you will die.'

xpost

That and taxes yeah

Remember when Leicester was that time (I still have hope/the whole thing is devalued)

Sevilla's Eduardo Berizzo Told Players He Had Cancer at Half-Time vs. Liverpool

o_O

The Sevilla coach has cancer and broke the news to his players at half time yesterday.

Xpost

Moreno must have heard about it

Ooooof

that trick will only work once

Confirmed since that players knew days before.

He just reminded them of it at half time.

ffs lads this is far from the biggest match of your life

You just know Moyes read this too and has pondered using this during the next match at least twice since brekky

The fake cancer diagnosis is a highly overused Eastenders plotline and in this case would probably result in West Ham being forced to play in League 2 and the London Stadium in flames.

So yeah that job at Palace in 2018-19 is probaby in the bag for him.

Chelsea have six probabies on their books each of them is top scorer in the respective European second tier league they are currently loaned out to

Akinfeev just kept a clean sheet for the first time in 44 CL matches. Benfica have been awful this season.

blow the whistle ref

Please. We're just getting annihilated now, annihilated, this could end up double figures, no exaggeration. PSG are just strolling about laughing at us.

Boyata should be detained at Glasgow Airport and deported.

Shitshow at the back tonight. It was always going to be a doing but be basically gifted them every goal.

This is horrible. I was genuinely quite grateful for a bothersome real life intervention which made me miss PSG's fifth and sixth goals.

Hey we scored a goal though, no-one else has managed to do that against PSG, and yet the sacred 7-1 scoreline seems tarnished somewhat.

Aye, but even Anderlecht managed a goal tonight for the first time, against Bayern Munich. This group's just mad. We're totally going out of the Europa League spot on goal difference to a resurgent Anderlecht.

On the cards, although Anderlecht were abysmal against us.

apparently the basel manager told his players he had the flu

Jose told the united players they had cancer

jose told his players that he is a cancer but they already knew a few days before

Pougatch, Campbell and Hoddle such a weird fucking trio

luke shaw and daley blind both in the united side for tonight’s game. still no mkhi though

XP idk could still do a job for Gareth if they get a run of games between now and summer imo

Some really lovely stuff from utd here

Chalov looks v good also imo

only just put it on so i dont know if youre taking the piss or not re utd! was reading somewhere last week that luke was getting the best training stats out of the whole team for overall fitness and he definitely looks pretty sharp out there. obviously it's early days, but are we really that desperate now for a new lb?

oh luke got diddled on that one :(

I just can't see it with Shaw at this point

Was impressive tonight, but I don't believe Mourinho trusts him

Atletico Madrid out, and PSG lose for the second match in a row.

I just can't see it with Shaw at this point

i guess the pecking order for that position atm is something like:

ashley
darmian
marcos
blind
rooney
luke

this thing though:

Pogba holding off three players and getting away using skill 👀#MUNCSKA @paulpogba
pic.twitter.com/Y5EoAW73qd

— FN (@Footballuno) December 5, 2017

celtic romped into the europa league

as usual some absolutely awful draws await a few of the group winners. bayern, juve, real madrid etc.

All this draw talk is silly anyway, but it's daft that clubs from the same country can't draw each other once we enter the knock-out stages.

this year in particular it means that the options are v limited for english teams

Last years there frequently were four Spanish sides w/ the last 16. I can get behind trying to avoid a Moscow-Kiev match for obvious reasons, but in a tournament for best club in the world, why still not allow same country draws when you're down to 16? Makes no sense.

celtic romped into the europa league

Where they should have been all along.

All this draw talk is silly anyway, but it's daft that clubs from the same country can't draw each other once we enter the knock-out stages.

As someone who watched approx. 253 Chelsea v Liverpool matches in the 00s I'm entirely pro-gerrymandering in this regard.

I empathize, but it still doesn't make sense. The whole CL doesn't make sense though. It's unsustainable anyway. Aren't the four biggest countries promised yet another spot in the near future? 6 sides for England, Germany, Spain, France/Italy. G'luck with that draw m8.

As someone who watched approx. 253 Chelsea v Liverpool matches in the 00s I'm entirely pro-gerrymandering in this regard.

it was only the two group ones that were shit, like really shit. the 05/07/09 semi-finals were all p epic.

need to have a straight knockout with the top 528 teams in europe

Otm.

it was only the two group ones that were shit, like really shit. the 05/07/09 semi-finals were all p epic.

Yeah I know but even then, it's just not as much of an event when it's a team you play two or three times a season anyway.

i actually really enjoyed some of the all-english ties over the years. something about a midweek knockout game at night in a higher stakes tournament - the drama just felt much higher.

need to have a straight knockout with the top 528 teams in europe

this is obviously otm tho

Bit like the FA Cup, starts two years before the final.

Make it four years and that would cover the danger of there not enough games for TV because you'd have four competitions running simultaneously at different stages.

tbh prob every registered team in the world, and all international teams should be in a league

it'd be good as games would be a once in a lifetime chance

Fans could choose 40 teams to support, so, if one of their teams only ever gets to play two games, in their brief existence, they have other teams to fall back on. Think of the revenue in replica jerseys.

i was thinking one leg games at a neutral ground

Even better. Obviously there would need to be some safeguards, we can't have a free-for-all, in the event of any EPL team or any of the leading teams in Europe being beaten the result would have to go to either a public vote or, better, a vote by a panel of experts.

:)

one leg games at a random neutral ground, announced the day before the match

best league in the world

rip dortmund

Liverpool 3 up after 18 minutes and in one of those moods were they look like they'll score with every attack

Dortmund back in the Europa now Spurs have scored.

Saving the look like they'll concede with every attack for the second half xp

Naturally

Barring a second half collapse though, Chelsea now guaranteed Barca, PSG or Besiktas in next round

Excellent Bernard goal for Shakhtar. Looks like Napoli might be doomed to the Europa.

Shaktar trumping Napoli would be the biggest surprise of the first round imo. That and Besiktas winning their group.

2-0!

Terrible from Ederson.

Dortmund back from the dead. 2-2

Liverpool on faya

xp could save Bosz' job, that

If Napoli can't win in Rotterdam they don't deserve anything tbh

Enjoying this and I hope poch has grown his balls a bit re refreshing the first team tbh.

Aurier is a cunt. Rotten tackle there.

Playing lovely direct swashbuckling if patchy stuff tho, a really nice change from the stultifying stuff the first roster have been serving up

No idea what has inspired us to make three needless yellow/reddish challenges in the past ten minutes

Anyone watching just saw Danny rose's Tottenham career end I think

Being treated for a minor cut but stormed off down the tunnel away from medic/poch and took a few mins to get sub on, looks Ike the kind of reaction earned Townsend his beatdown

if liverpool sell coutinho to barca during the transfer window i'm gonna spit

I'm sure his price went up 800 million tonight.

true

also hoping that the prospect of a decent run into the CL might make him want to stick around for the rest of the season at least

Leaving in winter never a good idea imo.

I completely forgot Nkoudou was at Spurs! He's not played all season has he?

Not in the league but has in the Carabao Cup.

Well done L'pool for ensuring Celtic weren't on the end of the biggest tanking in the CL this year.

Really flat atmosphere in the stadium though, except for the Nicosia fans. Anyone would look swashbuckling against that lot, except Dortmund mystifyingly.

I don't think our first team would have risked the ball with such direct passes all night tbh

Certainly they wouldn't have run at their man time and again like nkoudou did (to such little effect for most of it, but still)

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/800/cpsprodpb/BD0F/production/_99099384_hi043431513.jpg

didn't lol but kinda smiled

That's fine. He's alright.

feel like liverpool's problems earlier this season were due to the attack as well as the defence. firmino, mane, and coutinho were either absent or off-form. now those three and salah are flying, it's a formidable setup. okay the defence is still shit but plenty dropped points in CL and Prem were cos of failing to score, they're on fire in that regard at the moment, at a good time of the season to come into form.

I congratulate you and I enjoyed it thoroughly and I agree they are absolutely on fire. But:

"okay the defence is still shit"

is an understatement. It will continue to bite you in the buttocks. Winter is coming: get Van Dijk and some other crack and you're on track imo.

it will do, but the early season was like one goal leads and stuff. 2013/2014 the defence was prob as bad as it is now and the attack papered over it.

as we won the league.

:D

You'll be fine. In 4th or 3rd and a memorable semi against fucking Chelsea. Losing. But you'll be just fine.

there's something a bit heroic about pool this season. reckon they'll do something great but couldn't say in which competition

Caribou Cup

I don't think our first team would have risked the ball with such direct passes all night tbh

Spurs didn't play particularly well fwiw, especially in the second half, Apoel are just rubbish. It felt like exactly what it was, a dead rubber game with a handful of fringe players trying particularly hard to make an impact. Delighted with Llorente's goal though.

Far from perfect alright but an alternative mode even clumsily executed was p welcome to see

Excellent that Spurs finished top of the group in the U19 tournament too.

Juve Spurs

Basel City ffs

Porto Liverpool

Sevilla Utd

LOL Chelsea v. Barca

Bayern Besiktas
Chelsea Barcelona
Shakhtar Donetsk Roma
Real PSG

Liverpool, Utd and City all making out pretty well there. Obviously slightly trickier, but I reckon Spurs can beat Juve too

Looking forward to Real PSG.

RIP Basel, RIP Chelsea.

Fuck finishing first to end up playing Madrid in 1st knock-out round, really

While Bayern gets Besiktas... come on !!

Cunts

Fuck this

pretty strong chance of 4 english sides in the final 8 amirite?

Why bother they'd only give you a harder team again the bastards

Nah bollocks I'd much rather play someone exciting than get Basel or Besiktas or whoever.

stoked

Why bother they'd only give you a harder team again the bastards

― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Monday, December 11, 2017 11:51 AM (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

(good thread title for next years CL tbh)

Best time to be playing juve in years tbf, the defence in particular is not what it has been. Higuain scary on paper but he has a track record of flapping it in big games. Certainly shouldn't be intimidated by them

Poch out

Europa League last-32 draw

Borussia Dortmund v Atalanta

Nice v Lokomotiv Moscow

FC Copenhagen v Atletico Madrid

Spartak Moscow v Athletic Bilbao

AEK Athens v Dynamo Kiev

Celtic v Zenit St Petersburg

Napoli v RB Leipzig

Red Star Belgrade v CSKA Moscow

Lyon v Villarreal

Real Sociedad v Red Bull Salzburg

Partizan Belgrade v Viktoria Plzen

Steaua Bucharest v Lazio

Ludogorets v AC Milan

Astana v Sporting Lisbon

FK Ostersunds v Arsenal

Marseille v Braga

^^ some great matches here, it's a good bunch this

Wait wait so why was it that Red Bull gets to have two teams in the competition this year? Seems like UEFA have just completely fudged their own rules about that kind of thing.

Napoli v Leipzig and Dortmund v Atalanta is nice

Lamela in over Son, Aurier instead of Trippier. Interesting.

Lucas instead of Llorente on the bench too

Starting to feel real tbh

Lamela has deserved a start and is better chasing the ball than son.

Aurier nah

Oooops

Rats

Absolutely shocking

That is a joke.

One might criticise the marking there

If a single player isn't to blame there poch should resign

Dembele's fault there really. This is going to be humbling.

Lloris run of "not looking EPL first team level" also quietly continues

Having conceded a free forty yards out isn't really the factor there imo

Delete alli

Ah fuck them

Doesn't even look like a professional human there let alone a footballer

Rest kane now

Huh

Best time to be playing juve in years tbf, the defence in particular is not what it has been. Higuain scary on paper but he has a track record of flapping it in big games. Certainly shouldn't be intimidated by them

― Windsor Davies, Monday, December 11, 2017 1:28 PM (two months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

only conceded one goal since this staggeringly awful post, mustve jinxed it soz

Their defence is just sticking to us like a magnet, shows how shit even the supposedly organised Premiership defences are.

All for criticising these clowns but I think that was a penalty on kane there tbh

Davies has been on a very welcome run of form this season but he's back tonight in a big way expect more from him

that was not a pen soz

Fair enough

In interest of balance the response has been good but dier already looking like he'll get caught on it all night

Kane must score Alli must shoot higuain must score

Decent game feel it needs ten goals from spurs just to get going

He did now

missed Juve's second I was in the Man City end of the pub

And rightly so

xp you were closer than alli or davies tbf

They should have just kept running at us, we were bricking it. As soon as they started to sit back they were playing to our strengths.