Bizarre (probably crappy) action figures you vaguely remember owning as a child

thread proving that jjusten's toybox and mine were largely identical

I had that pharoid thing and kept the sarcophagus loooong after I lost the action figure, was a cigarette case briefly IIRC

also have memories of frantically searching an empty airplane for a missing micronaut hand

my aunt found it in the snow on the runaway after I had given up all hope

wau, your aunt had a frozen body in her yard

lol

only thing better than stretch armstrong was his mortal enemy, stretch monster

of course these photos are extremely disturbing to look at now

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/sarmstrong.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/smonster.jpg

don't worry kyoko, micronaut's only looking for his hand in the snow

in fairness, those pics were just as disturbing at the time

ha i had a lot of late period gi joe, the clinton-era self-parody years. even i knew that when white tiger-striped versions of earlier vehicles started showing up on shelves the thing was on a downslope

"caution: do not throw against glass"

ha, where the fuck else did you think kids were going to throw him?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/suckg.jpg

this godzilla ruled my 7 year old world

http://www.plaidstallions.com/mattel79/shogunwarriors1.jpg

don't worry kyoko, micronaut's only looking for his hand in the snow

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, September 24, 2009 6:18 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lock thread. hell, lock internet!

I didn't have any bizarre action figures that I can recall, but I did have that Play-doh Hair Salon with people who had holes in their head that you pressed play-doh through to make spaghetti-strand "hair."

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/GiJoe/Vehicles/TigerCatLoose1a.jpg

i mean what

how in the hell is stretch armstrong going to defeat his enemies by turning into a giant pretzel? unless his enemy is hunger

Buck Rogers "Col. Wilma Deering" action figure disappointingly un-hot.

http://crozee.tripod.com/buck/wilma.jpg

By comparison:

http://crozee.tripod.com/buck/gray1a.jpg

Bah.

http://www.bugeyedmonster.com/toys/buck/buck/3wilma.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAui1kkZr1I/AAAAAAAAO1o/s0uVM-H_gk8/erin_gray0124.jpg

"ghwb-era" not clinton-era, btw... christ i'm not that young

1988

The toyline continued to sell well, despite its lack of multimedia support. A new enemy, Destro's Iron Grenadiers, was introduced. The new Cobra line-up was composed mainly of Viper-type henchmen. Issue #86 of the comic series celebrated the 25th anniversary of the G.I. Joe toyline in general. Another G.I. Joe sub-group - Tiger Force, a line of classic characters and vehicles re-colored with tiger-striped camouflage patterns - was introduced before the year's end.
[edit] 1989

mego toys were so awesome!

I owned lots of planet of the apes, star trek, batman, and spiderman figures and had much love for THE LIZARD

http://www.worldsgreatesttoys.com/images/blog/dma/posters/wgsh_figures.jpg

lol Wilma Deering is very obviously a repainted Leia-in-snowsuit-on-Hoth action figure

wearing a black turtleneck and having a huge lizard tail was the coolest thing I could imagine

that may still be true

BTW you guys know there's going to be a Stretch Armstrong movie, right?

i had so so so many Mego action figures, all of which I just bequeathed to my three year old, and most of which were losing limbs; there is now a box full of creepy arms and legs and like, the Joker's disembodied head. I just kept myself from going on ebay and buying about $200 worth of replacements.

'sup

http://www.mwctoys.com/images/review_startrek3_3.jpg

spiderman and that flame dude are mysteriously still immaculate looking, I must have gotten replacements for those around the time I stopped playing with them. Superman too isn't in bad shape. Nothing is sadder than my armless Penguin. The Star Trek guys were in good shape too, some even still had phasers until a week ago.

I was so taken aback by the hott Monster-on-Armstrong action that I only just now noticed the expression on that kid's face.

ok EIII i think you are onto something w/this shared toychest theory because i also had suckerman, although mine was black not lime green

oh god the GORN

<3 this thread

goth suckerman

xp

I've posted this here before, but it was the coolest thing ever when I was 4 or 5

"3 control sticks and detention pen" is kind of o_O tho... guantanamo bay playset

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/potagift.jpg

they should just make a GORN movie

I'd see that shit even if it was awful

stretch armstrong kid reminds me of

http://www.classicscreams.com/Celeb_Pages/Celeb_Pics/Chaney_Jr_WolfMan_Howl.jpg

I had that too, Edward!

http://www.toymania.com/334archives/crystar/crystar.jpg
<3 crystar

None of the action figures I can remember were crappy except for this:

http://www.actionhq.com/store/images/encore_ratchet.JPG

Really, nothing says "hero" like a headless robot on a sled.

i also had suckerman, although mine was black not lime green

― A DOG, A BARREL... RIDICULOUS! (jjjusten), Thursday, September 24, 2009 2:38 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

I hope you did not throw it against glass

Ruddy hell, those Micronauts up top gave me a real Proustian rush - my bro and I had them as wee lads. Amongst the usual Star Wars / Action Man / Play People stuff we also used to save up to buy Japanese robots whilst on holiday with our Grandma who lived in Italy (back in the early 80s the stuff out there was completely unavailable in Britain afaik). Best of these was the mighty Gokaiser:
http://img263.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc235ℑ=17600_gokaiser_122_235lo.JPG

i had a mort suckerman

in 9th grade i brought suckerman in for my demonstration speech in honors english and used him as a prop by throwing him at stuff and finished off by totally stealing a joke that was along the lines of "so if you go home and tell your parents that you met suckerman at school today, don't be surprised if they ask 'Was he in the parking lot?'"

unlucky substitute teacher was not amused

I had the black hole toys too

I was fascinated by toy lines created for movies that bombed

should not even go into star wars realm but this was my holy grail as a child. only ever saw it in a toy store once and snapped it up.

in retrospect, it was a handful of action figures and a piece of cardboard... but god how I cherished it

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/sears.jpg

arrrrgh - THE MIGHTY GOKAISER:

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/1610/gokaiser.jpg

I was fascinated by toy lines created for movies that bombed

anyone else here have the Tron toys? They came with a disc that stuck onto the back of the figure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0VaFsESh3g&feature=related

These things were a gyp. Of course, the first thing I did upon opening the packaging was rip the dude's arm off like the kid in the commercial only to discover that "returning almost like new to its orignal shape" really meant "dismembered 4 life."

this was my very favorite thing to play with when i was a kid. what was weird was one day i was watching the merv griffin show and a young pee wee herman used hugo in his stand-up act! he called him something like mongo or mr.mongo. that was the first time i ever saw pee wee. hugo would get all sticky from the glue they gave you for his disguise mustache and beard. i can still smell his head! isn't that weird.

http://www.house8.com/weblog/hugo.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3178/2424158716_5ae27b5dd2.jpg?v=0

http://www.plaidstallions.com/kenner/hugo1.jpg

i loved hugo.

hugo so creepy

anyone else here have the Tron toys? They came with a disc that stuck onto the back of the figure.

― Hat Trick Swayze (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, September 24, 2009 2:51 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

YES

also loved the tron video game - 4 games in 1!

sorry scott but that guy is freaking me out

this thing really actually stunk irl.

http://blog.falcadia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/stinkorcardback.jpg

hugo is like one step away from

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/magic.jpg

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/P1000306.jpg

Modulok was the only He-Man toy I ever had!!

boulder hill!!!!
http://images.absoluteanime.com/admin/favtoy/favtoy-mask-boulderhill.jpg

this guy was my favourite
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o143/invisiblewraith/AlexSector.jpg

Someone should poll 1970s-80s action-figure franchises.

this is the era when wrestling figures were good, too

http://www.tons-of-toys.com/item_images/Action%20figures%20from%20Q%20to%20Z/Wrestling/Classic%20carded%20WWF/rockers.jpg http://i5.ebayimg.com/01/s/000/77/56/8287_2.JPG http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51rv7Y0JwZL._SL500_AA280_.jpg http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/6/8/1/9/9/6/webimg/290165296_tp.jpg

I had the Clash of the Titans Pegasus. I never knew it was a Clash of the Titans tie-in.

The body was the same one used for the Dazzle Dolls horse.

those WWF figures were great if you could ignore the fact that they're supposed to have "body slam action" and the like.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b293/lambkin80/collage14-2.jpg

http://toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/Silverhawks/FigBuzzSawLoose1a.jpg

Heh. Evan Dorkin wrote a cartoon talking about how you could have a hit show called "I HAD THAT!", about nothing but toys that 30/40somethings used. Anyway, back with the i had that:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/02/the_10_worst_transformers_rip-offs.php

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/roboforce-unseen/5b.jpg

ROBO FORCE: I had Max Steele! Who had a suction cup for legs, and grabby arms. I remember being excited by their cartoon finally coming to air, even tho it was like a single ep on an off night that I missed since we had to be at our parents' friends' house that night.

I still love toy robots.

Also, the Zoids spin-off STARRIORS:

http://www.starriors.com/images/cast/Wastor_-_CRANK.gif

Wind up drill that was used to torture he-man figures

Don't know the names of these:

I recently went through all my old figures (on their way to the Goodwill im afraid) and I came across one that was a snake man but for the face it had a hologram that wasn't really 3d.

Also there were these tiny figures, maybe an inch high or so, that were half animal/half man kind of things with battle armor and stuff, and they had a square on their chest that you would rub to either reveal a hologram or have it change colors or display a logo or something like that...

The first one might have been the SuperNaturals:

http://www.virtualtoychest.com/supernaturals/supernaturals.html

the second one was Battlebeasts

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/09/the_10_greatest_toylines_without_cartoons.php

http://www.toplessrobot.com/BattleBeasts.jpg

WOAH! Thank you sooo much! Super Naturals...."The Toom of Doom"...this is RAD stuff.

What a great thread for a Saturday morning!

Then you have websites like X-entertainment who's entire raison d'etre is this stuff; cataloging the various pop culture of our collected anglophone childhood