Bizarre (probably crappy) action figures you vaguely remember owning as a child

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_lUQ4nipTWz4/SQVVBOebiII/AAAAAAAAAEU/XsG1QSdrWRg/s320/DinoRiderTrexARMORED.jpg

^^^not crappy

J.J. Armes, who was, unbelieveably enough, a real person.

http://www.bigredtoybox.com/articles/jjarmes.jpg

http://www.dinoriders.com/Toys/NovaDemon.gif i had these

PULSAR, Man of Action!

http://www.bigredtoybox.com/articles/pulsar.jpg

YOU COULD OPEN HIS FACE AND STICK A DISC IN HIS BRAIN.

MODULOK! BEST TOY EVER! I have two sets mixed up in a box somewhere, for maximum multi-limbed mayhem.

Another bizarre He-Man spin-off was called, I think, SUCTOR - MASTER OF POWERFUL SUCTION! A faintly obscene frog monster with rubber suckers for hands, feet and mouth. (Was the tag line HE REALLY SUCKS, or did I imagine that?)

And his arch-enemy HYPNOS, who had a sparking hypno-disc in his chest.

http://www.foreignmego.com/plaid/pulsar.jpg

Plaid Stallions?!? wow what the fuck

seriously

lol I don't know what that part is. GIS is a harsh mistress.

(xxpost) it's a website that covers 70's garbage
http://www.plaidstallions.com/

(sorry in advance for wasting the next couple of hours of your lives while you all peruse that site)

oh shit!!! no apologies necessary!

Star Trek communication console by Mego!

http://www.collectiondx.com/gallery2/gallery/d/415294-4/P9070721.jpg

kind of fails to illicit the same fear and respect a young me gave him in the black hole tbh

if memory serves, the maximilian figure had no moving parts other than being able to flip down his little leg peg stands or whatever. BIG FUN

my favorite toys were M.A.S.K. but they're not crappy.
http://www.albertpenello.com/mask/hocus.jpg

it is crappy that they couldn't make this boat float. otherwise this thing is rad.
http://www.albertpenello.com/mask/box/gatorboxfrontus.jpg

I was really into MASK too. There was a white van which opened up to reveal a red plane that I was particularly keen on.

thread proving that jjusten's toybox and mine were largely identical

I had that pharoid thing and kept the sarcophagus loooong after I lost the action figure, was a cigarette case briefly IIRC

also have memories of frantically searching an empty airplane for a missing micronaut hand

my aunt found it in the snow on the runaway after I had given up all hope

wau, your aunt had a frozen body in her yard

lol

only thing better than stretch armstrong was his mortal enemy, stretch monster

of course these photos are extremely disturbing to look at now

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/sarmstrong.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/smonster.jpg

don't worry kyoko, micronaut's only looking for his hand in the snow

in fairness, those pics were just as disturbing at the time

ha i had a lot of late period gi joe, the clinton-era self-parody years. even i knew that when white tiger-striped versions of earlier vehicles started showing up on shelves the thing was on a downslope

"caution: do not throw against glass"

ha, where the fuck else did you think kids were going to throw him?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/suckg.jpg

this godzilla ruled my 7 year old world

http://www.plaidstallions.com/mattel79/shogunwarriors1.jpg

don't worry kyoko, micronaut's only looking for his hand in the snow

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, September 24, 2009 6:18 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lock thread. hell, lock internet!

I didn't have any bizarre action figures that I can recall, but I did have that Play-doh Hair Salon with people who had holes in their head that you pressed play-doh through to make spaghetti-strand "hair."

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/GiJoe/Vehicles/TigerCatLoose1a.jpg

i mean what

how in the hell is stretch armstrong going to defeat his enemies by turning into a giant pretzel? unless his enemy is hunger

Buck Rogers "Col. Wilma Deering" action figure disappointingly un-hot.

http://crozee.tripod.com/buck/wilma.jpg

By comparison:

http://crozee.tripod.com/buck/gray1a.jpg

Bah.

http://www.bugeyedmonster.com/toys/buck/buck/3wilma.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAui1kkZr1I/AAAAAAAAO1o/s0uVM-H_gk8/erin_gray0124.jpg

"ghwb-era" not clinton-era, btw... christ i'm not that young

1988

The toyline continued to sell well, despite its lack of multimedia support. A new enemy, Destro's Iron Grenadiers, was introduced. The new Cobra line-up was composed mainly of Viper-type henchmen. Issue #86 of the comic series celebrated the 25th anniversary of the G.I. Joe toyline in general. Another G.I. Joe sub-group - Tiger Force, a line of classic characters and vehicles re-colored with tiger-striped camouflage patterns - was introduced before the year's end.
[edit] 1989

mego toys were so awesome!

I owned lots of planet of the apes, star trek, batman, and spiderman figures and had much love for THE LIZARD

http://www.worldsgreatesttoys.com/images/blog/dma/posters/wgsh_figures.jpg

lol Wilma Deering is very obviously a repainted Leia-in-snowsuit-on-Hoth action figure

wearing a black turtleneck and having a huge lizard tail was the coolest thing I could imagine

that may still be true

BTW you guys know there's going to be a Stretch Armstrong movie, right?

i had so so so many Mego action figures, all of which I just bequeathed to my three year old, and most of which were losing limbs; there is now a box full of creepy arms and legs and like, the Joker's disembodied head. I just kept myself from going on ebay and buying about $200 worth of replacements.

'sup

http://www.mwctoys.com/images/review_startrek3_3.jpg

spiderman and that flame dude are mysteriously still immaculate looking, I must have gotten replacements for those around the time I stopped playing with them. Superman too isn't in bad shape. Nothing is sadder than my armless Penguin. The Star Trek guys were in good shape too, some even still had phasers until a week ago.

I was so taken aback by the hott Monster-on-Armstrong action that I only just now noticed the expression on that kid's face.

ok EIII i think you are onto something w/this shared toychest theory because i also had suckerman, although mine was black not lime green

oh god the GORN

<3 this thread

goth suckerman

xp

I've posted this here before, but it was the coolest thing ever when I was 4 or 5

"3 control sticks and detention pen" is kind of o_O tho... guantanamo bay playset

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/edwardiii/potagift.jpg

x-post

Jeeez, Bullet Man is really bringing back some kind of repressed memory - those arms and helmet look very very familar...

Six Million Dollar Man was the shit. lots of accessories and pop-out bionics.

and Maskatron:

http://i637.photobucket.com/albums/uu92/damien_stone/maskatronboxedlarge.jpg

i may have been star wars and transformers deprived but i did have this mofo:

http://www.zoidsevolution.net/models/rcz/crimson_horn.jpg

the holy grail for gi joe kids was this thing:

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k278/jeffbez/GIJoe6.jpg

(xp) actually it was this earlier model:

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/zoids/images/6/6a/Ojrrh.jpg

I owned more of these than I thought likely.

I had...

Modulok
That weird bug-accompanied inspector dude
A solitary Dino Rider
MASK stuff (including GATOR)
Loads of GI Joe (my mate Matt had theta snow leopard thing)
loads and loads of MUSCLE dudes
The calculator robot watch thing
Loads of Battle Beasts
One of those stupid transforms-into-a-rock dudes (that exact one, actually, and a couple more too I think?)
A few Starcom dudes
a few Visionaries
1 Centurion dude (the orange one)
Loads of Star Wars dudes, mostly inherited from brothers
plenty of Transformers
Lion-O, but my favourite was his mate the snow dude (who I think was a baddie - liked his helmet)
some Zoids

That GI Joe aircraft carrier is making me bug-eyed, and I want to find a Centurion on bay now.

http://bravestarr.org/figures/images/3030fig2.jpg

haha wtf

there was not an orange centurion dude - jake rockwell was yellow

OK dude, the yellow one!

I had a couple of Bravestar dudes, too.

haha, those kids faces on the slime game box . . .

I just remembered I had this, which may have been the ne plus ultra of crappy action figures tied in to TV shows:

http://i538.photobucket.com/albums/ff341/GeekOrthodox/Action%20Figures/090d_1.jpg

I had these two, plus Thallo and Pegasus:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zYmZ4EHSDhA/SpHDtMQrjgI/AAAAAAAAA8s/UXazfRckfJU/s400/Clash+Titans.jpg

Wow, I never knew there were Clash of the Titans toys. I would've loved me some of them, it was my favourite film for a while.

Also, Zoids were in-fucking-credible

just had a mad flashback when i stumbled across these dudes:
http://www.action-figures.ca/action_figures/other_world/jip_mog.jpg

There was also kraken I REALLY wanted, but instead I got a snow speeder. In retrospect, the snow speeder is way cooler because it has light up blasters and made blaster noises.

But I still kinda want the kraken:

http://www.toymania.com/334archives/clash/kraken_box.jpg

xp: the x-men?

not forgetting ZEENO and HONDU
http://www.action-figures.ca/action_figures/other_world/zendo.jpghttp://www.action-figures.ca/action_figures/other_world/hondu.jpg

http://www.toplessrobot.com/mtrek1.jpg

I think I had most of the Star Trek: Motion Picture figures. I later set fire to 'Scotty' and after I put him out he was the dead spit of Falklands war casualty, Simon Weston. Really.

Also, Zoids were in-fucking-credible

I collected them when I was 7-8 years old. I think I had nearly all the original wind up ones. They're probably worth a lot of money now, by dint of the fact that I got rid of them all.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/P1000306.jpg

Modulok was the only He-Man toy I ever had!!

boulder hill!!!!
http://images.absoluteanime.com/admin/favtoy/favtoy-mask-boulderhill.jpg

this guy was my favourite
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o143/invisiblewraith/AlexSector.jpg

Someone should poll 1970s-80s action-figure franchises.

this is the era when wrestling figures were good, too

http://www.tons-of-toys.com/item_images/Action%20figures%20from%20Q%20to%20Z/Wrestling/Classic%20carded%20WWF/rockers.jpg http://i5.ebayimg.com/01/s/000/77/56/8287_2.JPG http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51rv7Y0JwZL._SL500_AA280_.jpg http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/6/8/1/9/9/6/webimg/290165296_tp.jpg

I had the Clash of the Titans Pegasus. I never knew it was a Clash of the Titans tie-in.

The body was the same one used for the Dazzle Dolls horse.

those WWF figures were great if you could ignore the fact that they're supposed to have "body slam action" and the like.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b293/lambkin80/collage14-2.jpg

http://toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/Silverhawks/FigBuzzSawLoose1a.jpg

Heh. Evan Dorkin wrote a cartoon talking about how you could have a hit show called "I HAD THAT!", about nothing but toys that 30/40somethings used. Anyway, back with the i had that:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/02/the_10_worst_transformers_rip-offs.php

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/roboforce-unseen/5b.jpg

ROBO FORCE: I had Max Steele! Who had a suction cup for legs, and grabby arms. I remember being excited by their cartoon finally coming to air, even tho it was like a single ep on an off night that I missed since we had to be at our parents' friends' house that night.

I still love toy robots.

Also, the Zoids spin-off STARRIORS:

http://www.starriors.com/images/cast/Wastor_-_CRANK.gif

Wind up drill that was used to torture he-man figures

Don't know the names of these:

I recently went through all my old figures (on their way to the Goodwill im afraid) and I came across one that was a snake man but for the face it had a hologram that wasn't really 3d.

Also there were these tiny figures, maybe an inch high or so, that were half animal/half man kind of things with battle armor and stuff, and they had a square on their chest that you would rub to either reveal a hologram or have it change colors or display a logo or something like that...

The first one might have been the SuperNaturals:

http://www.virtualtoychest.com/supernaturals/supernaturals.html

the second one was Battlebeasts

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/09/the_10_greatest_toylines_without_cartoons.php

http://www.toplessrobot.com/BattleBeasts.jpg

WOAH! Thank you sooo much! Super Naturals...."The Toom of Doom"...this is RAD stuff.

What a great thread for a Saturday morning!

Then you have websites like X-entertainment who's entire raison d'etre is this stuff; cataloging the various pop culture of our collected anglophone childhood