Tesco C/D

They should obviously include crisps with the sandwich, to save their customers the excruciating trouble of finding and opening a separate package.

subject line of pr email received today:

Tesco launches the UK's first lad's granola

i dare not open it

i really hope it's called GRANOLADS

MANGRAN

LAUNCH OF UK’S FIRST LAD’S GRANOLA
The first ‘lad’s granola’ breakfast cereal has been launched in the UK.
FUEL is a delicious chunky breakfast granola packed with vitamins and minerals essential for keeping men fighting fit. It is being sold exclusively in 459 Tesco stores.
FUEL is aimed predominantly at active, healthy males – or men who are aspiring to be – and comes in two varieties: 70% Chocolate Chunks and Fruit Loaded.
Containing only natural ingredients, FUEL, whose brand strapline is “One Life – Live It”, is rich in Vitamin B and E, high in fibre and contains guarana extract. It is a blend of both slow release and fast release energy.
The aspirational packaging tells customers to: ‘Throw off the shackles, sail away from the safe harbour, climb to the peak of your ambitions. Whoever you are and whatever you choose to do in life, be it jumping for joy, trekking the Amazon or chasing that business dream, you need the right FUEL to give you the boost that will get your day off to a great start.’
Barney Mauleverer of FUEL said: ‘Men are fed up with the lack of choice in the breakfast cereal market. We wanted to create a fantastic tasting new cereal just for guys which has all the energy a man needs to get his day – and evening - off to a great start. But we’ve also heard that lots of women like it too.’
FUEL will be sold in 400g packs with a retail sale price of £3.69. It is on special offer in Tesco during November for just £2.49.

WHERE DO YOU EVEN START

assuming FUEL stands for File Under: Energetic Lads

lol @ "men who are aspiring to be"

i'm sure 70% chocolate chunks will help them in that regard

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eo1E3uKybJ4/Tqp2Vgig_-I/AAAAAAAACdU/LRV6it1iEsc/s400/IMG_7095a.JPG

Get Matt Cardle to advertise it. I'm sure he's not doing anything at the moment.

Actually the silhouette on the box looks like Alan Partridge shouting "ah HA!"

Can't really spot from the photo what makes it so different from any other cereal. Maybe you pour beer over it instead of milk?

the DAY on the packet looks like GAY

The fruity one looks like...

http://gcbooks.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/empire-of-the-sun.jpg

There's something fishy going on. Last month, the respected journalist Sarah Editor at Simply Woman magazine reported on the launch of this breakfast sensation.

At that time, Barney Mauleverer was quoted as saying it wasn't just men who were fed up with the lack of choice in the breakfast cereal market but people generally. Attracted as I am by the call to throw off the shackles, sail away from the safe harbour, climb to the peak of my ambitions, I need to be confident that this product is really aimed at me. If the odd manly woman happens to like it, despite it not really being designed for them, as is now claimed, that's one thing, but I don't want granola turned into some gender-bending free-for-all.

Simply put, I don't like fudge for my breakfast, Barney.

Is Barney an Apprentice candidate, by any chance?

Awsome from Tescos

This is a weird story.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/dec/22/tesco-halts-production-at-chinese-factory-over-forced-labour-claims-christmas-cards

Makes me feel guilty for buying that box of Lemsip from there last night.

“help i’m stuck inside a fortune cookie factory indeed” :(

that said is it so different from all the zillions of US prisons with big mfg contracts? not that that makes it better obv

Yes, prisoners are used for cheap labour all over the world surely?

how the US prison population manages to dwarf China's with a fraction of the population is another matter!