"we're not getting any, we don't care"
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:43 (fourteen years ago) link
Maybe instead of "pick up" bars they go to "put down" bars?
A: "I'm not sexually attracted to you!"B: "I'm not sexually attracted to you either!"
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:46 (fourteen years ago) link
Presumably at asexual clubs the fave tune is Kraftwerk's "Sex Object"?
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:48 (fourteen years ago) link
"Do you wanna not go out?""I can't, I'm not seeing someone else right now"
― Aw naw, no' Annoni oan an' aw noo (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:50 (fourteen years ago) link
voulez vous ne coucher pas avec moi
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:51 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^ charter members of the ahumorous pride movement
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:51 (fourteen years ago) link
We're inviting you to join as our first president
― Aw naw, no' Annoni oan an' aw noo (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:52 (fourteen years ago) link
lol n/a
― fleetwood (max), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:52 (fourteen years ago) link
It's not ahumourous, it's humour for people who don't like laughing...
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Because some people are just not interested in laughing. They have no desire to fulfil any kind of laughing stereotype as pushed upon us all by society. The natural laugh impulse is greatly diminished in them so as to be non existent.
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:55 (fourteen years ago) link
the sexual community
somebody has a sense of humor
― chief rocker frankie crocker (m coleman), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:55 (fourteen years ago) link
"They're not bothered by the low levels of amusement," Brotto said. "That's what makes them different from someone with humour dysfunction, who wants to seek treatment."
― Aw naw, no' Annoni oan an' aw noo (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:57 (fourteen years ago) link
If you're asexual, do you just laugh when someone attractive tickles your balls? Or do you get some sort of begrudging boner?
― Peinlich Manoeuvre (NickB), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link
(xpost) first patron of the Ahumourous Pride Movementhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e3/Queen_Victoria_by_Bassano.jpg/210px-Queen_Victoria_by_Bassano.jpg
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 15:59 (fourteen years ago) link
They would have to acknowledge the sheer bloody-minded persistence of the tickler, at the very least (xp)
― Aw naw, no' Annoni oan an' aw noo (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 16:00 (fourteen years ago) link
Particularly if they were French...
― the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link
At the "go gay people!" club on campus there are two asexual ladies. This is SO difficult to wrap my head around. I think this is largely because you hardly ever hear of it or encounter people who note it abt themselves. There's still people who are like "How can a MAN get horny for ANOTHER MAN???" abt gay people (well, gay men). I sorted through my thoughts about this. They were mean thoughts. 1. "Maybe it's a cover for being ugly." (uh, fucking duh, no.) 2. "Maybe they haven't met anyone they were attracted to yet." IMO this is just a really gentle version of telling a lesbian she just needs a good dicking & that's get her head straight.
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Deadeye Dick by Kurt Vonnnegut has an asexual pride march in it at one point.
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link
I know a guy who apparently told plenty of people he was asexual, but most of those people are pretty sure that he's gay and in denial about it.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link
what seems weird to me is that there are people who are so sure that they are going to stay asexual that they are willing to define themselves that way. it just seems to open themselves up to embarrassment if they suddenly get horny one day.
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link
if they have genitals and hormones they're sexual on some level, so I'm inclined to dismiss most of this as denial - otherwise there's gotta be some basic physiological reason, a hormone deficiency or something.
― go Nick go! Scrub that paint! Scrub it!! Yeah!! (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link
or traumatic past experiences ...
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:22 (fourteen years ago) link
I thought I was for maybe asexual as a teeenager but it was bcz CHURCH kicked the sexy right out of me. I mean, it was so discouraged, even thinking abt anything like that, that it took me years away from home to be able to really pick up on sexual signals. I had crushes but it started & ended there.
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, August 25, 2009 3:21 PM (59 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
though honestly i kind of feel this way about people who put themselves in any broad category, like "republican" or "atheist." what if one day you have a vision and see god, then you just look like a douche for calling yourself an atheist for the past 30 years.
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
What is I suddenly grow a penis and I've been calling myself a woman all these years?
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link
I mean that's worse than wearing the same dress as another girl to prom.
sometimes I wonder how PC you're gonna have to be in order to not have to be all "those were different times!" in the future.
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:25 (fourteen years ago) link
xp Abbott: how common is it for Mormon guys to solicit Mormon women by saying, "I had a vision that you and I were to be married"? One of my bf's female friends from college had a guy say this to her, and her response was essentially, "Fuck off, you're creepy." But I got the impression that some women went for this.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:26 (fourteen years ago) link
Plus that crotchular bulge is going to be hard to explain, too.
― repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:27 (fourteen years ago) link
that might melt me if he was hot
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:27 (fourteen years ago) link
know a guy who apparently told plenty of people he was asexual, but most of those people are pretty sure that he's gay and in denial about it.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, August 25, 2009 4:20 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
I didn't know you knew Morrissey!
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:27 (fourteen years ago) link
sarahel that's a thing sometimes dudes say to a chick but not the only thing and usually when they start seeing the temple in each others' eyes (ie hitching time) and yeah it's creepy & manipulative (or valiant & faithful, depending on yr perspective)
― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link
ha ha ... for the longest time, this guy was seriously obese, and then he lost a lot of weight. Now, he kinda looks like a persian cat that had its body shaved for some veterinary procedure. No one I know, to my knowledge, has asked him whether the weight loss corresponded to deciding that he wanted to get laid after all.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link
I think some people have a very low sex drive, have highly elaborate ideas of romance and/or religious scruples and never really get beyond the 'Ugh, bodily fluids' stage to the 'ooh, sweet transgression' stage and sex may just pass them by, or not, of course.
― repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:32 (fourteen years ago) link
I tend not to think about the bodily fluids.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:34 (fourteen years ago) link
^^ I mean, being dissuaded from sexual impulses because sex involves bodily fluids, is kinda like being afraid to cook because boiling water is hot.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe they're all just really, really lazy
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:56 (fourteen years ago) link
hahahahahaha.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link
but if they're that lazy, why have an activist movement?
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link
i dunno, if you're not interested in touching yourself or others in a sexy way, there's nothing wrong with that -- i just can't help but wonder: where does all that sexy get to? is it repressed? does it get sublimated, somehow?
what happens to a boner deferred? does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link
http://glad-to-be-a.livejournal.com/
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
everybody has a different libido/sex drive, i have no problem believing that some people's are (due to hormones or whatever) very, very, very low.
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:06 (fourteen years ago) link
http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/75426083/15758965
― iatee, Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link
I accept that livejournaler's concept of a bell curve of sexuality, but that doesn't mean we can't o_O them, like midgets and dwarves and babies with butt penises.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:08 (fourteen years ago) link
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?),
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link
in the future, babies with butt penises will have their own pride parade.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:22 (fourteen years ago) link
I wonder how long I have to stay celibate before I can self-identify as asexual.
But I guess saying something like that on a thread like this is kinda like putting a sign saying "kick me" on your own back.
The world makes such a big deal out of sex and sexuality and coupling and coupling up. I can really kinda sympathise with people who just want to say "enough already."
― Evren Kader (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.morethings.com/fan/south_park/photo_gallery/nurse_gollum-conjoined_fetus_twin.jpg
― my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Kate, you can sympathise with them, perhaps, but you have crushes all the time!
― repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:34 (fourteen years ago) link
xp Kate: from other threads, though, it definitely seems like you have the desire, though. These people are saying they don't.
― what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Tuesday, 25 August 2009 21:34 (fourteen years ago) link
Does that really come as a surprise? It shouldn't.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:23 (ten years ago) link
did i sound surprised?
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:28 (ten years ago) link
when asexuals come do they come as a surprise
― szarkasm (schlump), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:43 (ten years ago) link
xp to myself heh ok i guess i made the mistake of not reading the article itself
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:45 (ten years ago) link
they come as they are
― maven maven (Matt P), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:49 (ten years ago) link
Demisexuals, explained Gwendolyn M., a 25-year-old designer who lives in Honolulu, are people who do not experience sexual attraction toward others unless and until they forge a very strong emotional -- and usually romantic -- connection.Gwendolyn, who identifies as a panromantic demisexual, has been in a relationship with a sexual man for the past seven years. She says the bond generally takes a very long time to form, and even when it does, sex is possible, but it still remains relatively peripheral."I do have regular sex, and it is pretty nice," she said. "And I do feel some sexual desire under special circumstances … but I enjoy a lot of the sex with him only very partially from my own sexual desire, which is minimal. It's really from this secondary sexual desire, this desire to make him happy, that makes it enjoyable. That desire is a powerful force that stems from the head, rather than my libido. I don't hunger for sex the way other people might."
Gwendolyn, who identifies as a panromantic demisexual, has been in a relationship with a sexual man for the past seven years. She says the bond generally takes a very long time to form, and even when it does, sex is possible, but it still remains relatively peripheral.
"I do have regular sex, and it is pretty nice," she said. "And I do feel some sexual desire under special circumstances … but I enjoy a lot of the sex with him only very partially from my own sexual desire, which is minimal. It's really from this secondary sexual desire, this desire to make him happy, that makes it enjoyable. That desire is a powerful force that stems from the head, rather than my libido. I don't hunger for sex the way other people might."
this...sounds like a normal person to me
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:50 (ten years ago) link
sorry for use of "normal"
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:51 (ten years ago) link
Gray-A's, on the other hand, are people who identify more generally in the gray zone between asexuality and sexuality. These include individuals who don't typically experience sexual attraction, as well as people who can desire and enjoy sex but only under very specific circumstances."Sexuality is so fluid, and Gray-A presents more of a possibility to be unsure. I don't understand all the intricacies of myself yet, so this is the closest approximation I've come up with," said Chris Maleney, an 18-year-old Pennsylvania high school student who identifies as Gray-A.
"Sexuality is so fluid, and Gray-A presents more of a possibility to be unsure. I don't understand all the intricacies of myself yet, so this is the closest approximation I've come up with," said Chris Maleney, an 18-year-old Pennsylvania high school student who identifies as Gray-A.
...
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:54 (ten years ago) link
a lot of these ppl basically just have social anxiety disorder right
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 03:58 (ten years ago) link
I completely lost my sex drive about six years ago at the age of 22 and it hasn't come back. I had my blood tested but there's nothing wrong with me medically. Honestly, I'm not sure whether to see it as a problem or just accept it. I did have problems with depression in my early 20s and it's certainly possible that it could be related to that. Thing is, my depression eased off but my desire never really came back. To a certain extent you don't miss what you don't feel. On the other hand, I do wonder what it would be like to feel that sort of desire again as I've forgotten it now. I can't say I've any desire to attach myself to any identity movement. I haven't faced any discrimination, just one or two socially awkward situations like when a well-meaning friend started prodding me about not finding myself a girlfriend and I wasn't able to tell them the truth. I can see that it's possible I would be better off having these feelings again, but I'm not exactly sure what I could do about it.
― mirostones, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 04:04 (ten years ago) link
asexuality and esp. the "asexual spectrum" and the language that surrounds it rly interest me because they basically represent the next step (after homosexuality/heterosexuality) in creating fixed identities out of behaviors or desires that may previously have been experienced as contingent or fluid
― 1staethyr, Tuesday, August 27, 2013 10:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
otm
― max, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 10:12 (ten years ago) link
― k3vin k., Tuesday, August 27, 2013 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
i mean if the end goal is to pathologize all behavior, why settle for big tents like sad/gad
― max, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 10:22 (ten years ago) link
xp only if you think of your position on the spectrum as being permanently fixed (which it isn't)
― Man of Steel 2: Affleck Boogaloo (snoball), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 10:42 (ten years ago) link
or that it should be
― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 13:30 (ten years ago) link
― max, Wednesday, August 28, 2013 6:22 AM (3 hours ago)
this sounds like a terrible goal!
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 August 2013 13:56 (ten years ago) link
i think identifying these different positions on this spectrum as equally valid variations of human sexuality is the opposite of pathologizing
― Treeship, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 13:58 (ten years ago) link
Sexual identity is something we as a society trust to be self-defined
"Society" as a whole has not fully agreed on this yet.
― (what was the purpose of that stupid costume) (DJP), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 14:02 (ten years ago) link
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, August 25, 2009 4:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 02:41 (seven years ago) link
I basically identify as an ace, I guess. And it's not that I don't have sexual desires but that I don't want to have sexual relationships (so I am different from other aces in that regard). And an ilxor can tell me oh maybe you just have social anxiety if they want and I can politely tell them that maybe they should just tend to their own lives.
Ilxors come off like the equivalent of a bunch of homophobes on this thread, basically. Sorry I and others don't conform to your worldview.
― timellison, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 04:23 (seven years ago) link
Sorry if I'm generalizing - there are some thoughtful posts on this thread, but man...
― timellison, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 04:33 (seven years ago) link
there's nothing wrong with being asexual whatsoever - any stigma usually has more to do with the insecurities of the person casting the stone. and I apologize for dredging up bad feelings.
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 04:45 (seven years ago) link
i can see how my comment could be perceived as insensitive, so i apologize
(i have social anxiety btw)
― have you ever even read The Drudge Report? Have you gone on Stormfron (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 05:16 (seven years ago) link
I came across as rather insensitive on this thread and haha joke's on me, turns out that I was an aromantic asexual in denial. In retrospect I was a grey in my late teens and twenties, gradually becoming darker and darker grey in my thirties, until it reached a point a few years ago when I had to admit to myself that I was asexual. The concious turning point was when I realised that by far the main reason I wanted to be in a relationship was so that people would stop asking me why I wasn't in a relationship.
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 17:41 (seven years ago) link
looking back on it i was mean-spirited in this thread. sorry about that.
― goole, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 17:43 (seven years ago) link
― timellison, Wednesday, August 31, 2016 5:23 AM (thirteen hours ago)
Seriously. Ilx0rs of seven years ago, you were being dicks.
― emil.y, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 18:03 (seven years ago) link
historically this board has been a little judgmental about TMI matters, particularly when something brings up a squick reaction, but i'd like to think folks here have gotten a little more open-minded over the years
― a confederacy of lampreys (rushomancy), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 18:10 (seven years ago) link
Yeah, I also think as we have an ageing population, we're a little less likely to just find this sort of stuff material for puerile jokes and more likely to try to understand.
― emil.y, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 18:18 (seven years ago) link
personally i have difficulty drawing a meaningful differentiation between asexuality and hypoactive sexual desire disorder, because hsdd only ever seem to come up in the context of relationships. would it be wrong to say that an asexual is, in many cases, a single person with hsdd?
sure, one can say that someone with hsdd might _want_ a relationship more than an asexual, but "want" becomes a complicated thing when one has hsdd. desire for emotional connection is offset by fear of being judged as inadequate. a lot of the driving force becomes fear of loneliness (never a healthy basis for a relationship).
― a confederacy of lampreys (rushomancy), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 18:26 (seven years ago) link
The wikipedia page on hsdd specifies that personal distress at the individual's perspective on sexuality must be present. It also talks about criticism of the disorder that links it to earlier attempts to define homosexuality in this way. "It may also over pathologize normal variation in sexuality because the parameters of normality are unclear."
― timellison, Thursday, 1 September 2016 00:28 (seven years ago) link
moderate masturbators pride mvmt
― dr. mercurio arboria (mh 😏), Thursday, 1 September 2016 02:29 (seven years ago) link
every sexual minority likes to compare themselves to homosexuals and while i don't want to dismiss the comparison out of hand i think perhaps they are a little too facile about it. i don't have to worry about getting fired from my job for not having sex. nobody's ever told me i was going to hell for not having sex. the worst you can say is that it's grounds for divorce, but nobody's needed actual grounds for divorce in my lifetime.
― a confederacy of lampreys (rushomancy), Thursday, 1 September 2016 13:27 (seven years ago) link
Nevertheless, AVEN's goal of more visibility, awareness, and acceptance is something I fully support.
― timellison, Thursday, 1 September 2016 19:33 (seven years ago) link
apologies for my own dumb contribution to this thread tim. striving to be less ignorant/more sensitive about such matters
― Rae Kwoniff (NickB), Friday, 2 September 2016 08:49 (seven years ago) link