pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (4833 of them)

oh man, I just remembered something almost as obnoxious as the Kylie review on April Fool's, about a year before that Pitchfork had a weird ironic news item about Mystikal tourdates (and this was when they were reticent about running Talib Kweli reviews, way before the Lil Wayne stan era, so they weren't just randomly posting about NOLA rappers back then). it was when "Stutter" was out so the headline was "quit your lyin', heffer," which I guess was the whole stupid point of posting it.

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 9 November 2007 16:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

haha alex, i remember that but i actually lol'ed at it i think :(

stephen, Friday, 9 November 2007 17:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

"quit your lyin', heffer" = funny in any context, but they were still being dicks regardless

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 9 November 2007 17:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

heifer

Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, 9 November 2007 18:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

haha yeah sorry, i googled the lyrics w/ "heifer" at first but found nothing until i spelled it as "heffer" so the wrong version kinda stuck in my head when i posted here.

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 9 November 2007 18:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

heffer=The Girls Next Door (icky "reality" show about "girlfriends"/coyly in-sin-uwaiting huffers of King Tut Hef, although I bet He don't get none of that and don't remember)

dow, Friday, 9 November 2007 19:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

way before the Lil Wayne stan era

Ryan Schreiber:
01. Dismemberment Plan - Emergency and I (DeSoto)
02. Built to Spill - Keep It Like a Secret (Warner Bros.)
03. Lil' Wayne - Tha Block is Hot (Cash Money/Universal)
04. Ghost - Snuffbox Immanence (Drag City)
05. Olivia Tremor Control - Black Foliage (Flydaddy)
06. Archer Prewitt - White Sky (Carrot Top)
07. Jimi Tenor - Organism (Warp/Sire)
08. Beck - Midnite Vultures (DGC)
09. Sam Prekop - Sam Prekop (Thrill Jockey)
10. Pavement - Terror Twilight (Matador)

^^^is that a joke or was schr3iber 6 years ahead of the time of his own site?

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 13 November 2007 21:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

people who think prog wasn't whimsical/jokey have never been forced to sit through a gentle giant cd

-- strongohulkington, Monday, 5 November 2007 13:28 (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

Gah, I'm listening to The Power and The Glory right now and it's fantastic.

Autumn Almanac, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

i saw gong live and that was really whimsical and shitty

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

they took down the interpol interview where Ryan Schrieber makes an affirmative action joke re: Nelly. :(

da croupier, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

the bass player really looked like a hobbit though and even went barefoot and played a one of those steinberger headless basses from the 80s and it was the singer's 65th birthday and he wore a silver suit with wings

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

ok maybe it was awesome

M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

^^^is that a joke or was schr3iber 6 years ahead of the time of his own site?

-- J0rdan S., Tuesday, 13 November 2007 21:22 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

Simon Reynolds was a Wayne stan back in 1999, dude probably picked it up from there.

Dom Passantino, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

lol they edited it out!

"Wait, you look really familiar."

"Yeah. Ryan." I extend a handshake. "I'm here from Pitchfork."

"Ohhhh!! Man, thanks for putting us on your 2002 list. That paragraph was fantastic!"

Which was a surprising response, since the paragraph in question was something of a piss-take, noting the band's "skinny ties and terrible hair," and referring to them as "art-house darlings" whose "appearance was their most embarrassing aspect."

"Well, uh, it was pretty much you guys or Nellyville."

used to have a line about how they were gonna give it to Nelly due to affirmative action but that they couldn't get past the "stupid band-aid."

da croupier, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

the bass player really looked like a hobbit though and even went barefoot and played a one of those steinberger headless basses from the 80s and it was the singer's 65th birthday and he wore a silver suit with wings

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Friday, 16 November 2007 10:55 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

terry gilliam made a movie about this

Autumn Almanac, Thursday, 15 November 2007 23:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

Can't wait for them to shit all over the new Hives record, largely because I like it so much, so they'll clearly be sharpening the knives.

Erock Zombie, Friday, 16 November 2007 01:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/47031-frank

Just as guilty of reviewing her persona rather than her music as what it's railing against.

The Reverend, Friday, 16 November 2007 11:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

Really, what the fuck else is there to talk about with Winehouse though? Her music?

Dom Passantino, Friday, 16 November 2007 11:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

Certainly.

Re: expected trashing of the Hives. WTF? 6.2 and not a bad word against them.

The Reverend, Friday, 16 November 2007 11:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

LARF!
http://www.pitchforkmediadotcom.com/

Mr Noodles, Friday, 16 November 2007 19:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

^lolled at this

Dom Passantino, Friday, 16 November 2007 19:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

Ha, what else would the guy expect?

nabisco, Friday, 16 November 2007 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

Seriously, it's like pretending like you're about to punch someone in the face and then getting mad when their first reflex is to punch you in the face for real.

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 16 November 2007 20:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

I just mean ... there are lots of things people will joke around with you about via permanently preserved correspondence, but legal issues surrounding key business trademarks = seriously not one of them! I don't know that that's even a punch for real, more of a "this is not really an area in which anyone is going to dick around and have fun with you."

nabisco, Friday, 16 November 2007 21:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Ouch.

The Reverend, Friday, 16 November 2007 23:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

pitchforkmediadotcom is dumb (#1 in a series)

The Reverend, Friday, 16 November 2007 23:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

Given how many times this album was pushed back, it wouldn't be out of the question to suspect some quality control issues, but RZA himself said in The Wu-Tang Manual that he tended to gear the overall style of an album based on what time of year it dropped, and 8 Diagrams couldn't have debuted at any time other than winter-- perpetually overcast, dark before the afternoon ends, and freezing your eye water.

freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water
freezing your eye water

stephen, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 16:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

the comments on the 'worst covers' list are, for the most part, more embarrassingly awful than the artwork.

jermainetwo, Thursday, 13 December 2007 21:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

Seriously, it's like pretending like you're about to punch someone in the face and then getting mad when their first reflex is to punch you in the face for real.

-- Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 16 November 2007 20:28 (4 weeks ago) Link

It is more like yelling, in your worst French accent, "Ah m goiiin too pawnch zhoo in theh fehce (frog laugh)" with one eye closed while dangling a baguette delicately between two fingers like a distasteful pornographic magazine discovered during an unscheduled room cleaning by your disapproving Belgian mother and then being forced to write every victim of violence in the entire world ever (even those made into kidney pie maggot-styley) explaining that a consciousness-raising committee had been formed to ban people like yourself from ever talking in silly voices about silly things again.

that is what the pitchforkmediadotcom.com situation is like.
what do I know, though?? I am just a PASSIVE OBSERVER.

Jeff!, Friday, 14 December 2007 10:30 (6 years ago) Permalink

No, threatening a lawsuit and assuming everybody's gonna know you were just a-funnin' because, hey, the way you phrased things was totally funny - that doesn't really compare to telegraphing your intentions via ridiculous accent and costume.

J0hn D., Friday, 14 December 2007 10:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

webdev lulz.

fukasaku tollbooth, Monday, 7 January 2008 13:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

Seems more intelligent and thought out than usual. What gives?

King Boy Pato, Monday, 7 January 2008 13:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

the email to pitchfork is confounding not because it touches on "serious", unfuckwithable issues but because it's simply unfunny and pointless.

Charlie Howard, Monday, 7 January 2008 14:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

wouldn't this http://www.pitchforkmediadotcom.com/index6.htm get him off due to fair use laws regarding parody? or is the url too intentionally misleading?

kiss out the jams, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 07:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

also, I laughed at "beanbag chair chorizo"

kiss out the jams, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 07:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

<i>No, threatening a lawsuit and assuming everybody's gonna know you were just a-funnin' because, hey, the way you phrased things was totally funny - that doesn't really compare to telegraphing your intentions via ridiculous accent and costume.

-- J0hn D., Friday, 14 December 2007 10:47 (4 weeks ago) Link</i>
Well John, at least you find me totally funny! :-)

Jeff!, Friday, 11 January 2008 00:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

yay a famous person likes meeee

Just got offed, Friday, 11 January 2008 00:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

^^ ahaha !

Charlie Howard, Wednesday, 26 March 2008 12:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Two of the questions from Pfork's interview of Colin Greenwood, bassist for Radiohead:

Pitchfork: The Pitchfork review of In Rainbows suggested "Radiohead have grown tired of trying to outrun themselves." What do you think of that assessment?

Pitchfork: The Pitchfork review of Hail to the Thief put forth the idea that "anything Radiohead does from here on out will sound like Radiohead"...

stephen, Friday, 28 March 2008 14:21 (6 years ago) Permalink

"For personal questions, please press 2. For favourite Torchwood character, please press 3."

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 14:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

I would wager most of the people who posted in this thread in 2002 and 2003 have gone on to write for the site.

cee-oh-tee-tee, Friday, 28 March 2008 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

I think the only one who has "gone on to" write for the site is Jess. Raposa, Dare, and Leone were already on staff at the time. I mean, unless mr. sparkle is a pseudonym for Tom Breihan or something.

jaymc, Friday, 28 March 2008 17:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

who was dare

J0rdan S., Friday, 28 March 2008 17:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

Christopher "Double" Dare

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 28 March 2008 17:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

mr. sparkle = Ray Suzuki

David R., Friday, 28 March 2008 17:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

mad lolz @ ljag

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 28 March 2008 17:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

xpost: mr. sparkle =

stephen, Friday, 28 March 2008 17:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

i posted to ilx before i wrote for pfork, pplz

and what, Friday, 28 March 2008 18:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

the mobb deep quote fits like a high-top fade, but will it make up any of the cred i'll lose forthis??? let's fucking hope so!

-- ethan, Thursday, September 13, 2001 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

trifnan delong

and what, Friday, 28 March 2008 18:32 (6 years ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.