Places To Put Your Penis

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you know, unless you dig that kind of thing

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:09 (twenty years ago) link

tits

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:14 (twenty years ago) link

14. In a bag with other penises.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:15 (twenty years ago) link

15. In the left pocket of an old fake fur coat you bought at a Salvation Army thrift store.

― Bryan (Bryan), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:16 (twenty years ago) link

hot dog bun
mantle
dashboard
confessional

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:17 (twenty years ago) link

i'm drunk

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:20 (twenty years ago) link

in a jar on a high shelf, out of direct sunlight

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:20 (twenty years ago) link

in the air, and wave it like you just don't care

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:32 (twenty years ago) link

in the basket under the sink

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:35 (twenty years ago) link

16. Through a chain link fence
17. jar of peanut butter
18. Car exhaust pipe
19. pocket pussy
20. pencil sharpener
21. Slammed in a safe
22. bundle of roses
23. tied to a pickup truck bumper
24. Inside a happy clown puppet

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:39 (twenty years ago) link

25. Trout
26. Bass
27. Salmon
28. Muskie
29. Cod
30. Halibut
31. Tuna

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:54 (twenty years ago) link

[I love you too, Sam ;-)]

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:03 (twenty years ago) link

GLORYHOLES TO THREAD

― Vic (Vic), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:18 (twenty years ago) link

in a wheelbarrow
nailed to a tree
on top of yer cd of kiss alive!
in a tea mug with half-and-half and sugar
in a wrigley's chewing gum pack
on a conveyer belt
on a key chain, next to a rabbit's foot
in the dashboard

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:22 (twenty years ago) link

in a hobo sack (a bandana tied to the end of a stick)

― NA (Nick A.), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:35 (twenty years ago) link

This thread unnervingly reminds me of the old jingle for "Steak-Um's" snack meat:

You can Steak'um in the North
You Can Steak'um in the South
But the best place of all...
..is when you Steak'um in your Mouth!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:55 (twenty years ago) link

slather it with cheez-whiz and fried onions, then stick it on a hard roll

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:58 (twenty years ago) link

in smoked salmon

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:06 (twenty years ago) link

high upon a pedestal. so high that it could almost see eternity. you needed me. you needed me.

― Aaron A., Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:13 (twenty years ago) link

in a box marked "ancient relic"

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:15 (twenty years ago) link

it's the new undisputed king of canadian comedy

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:33 (twenty years ago) link

on the new york stock exchange

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:33 (twenty years ago) link

... which would give new meaning to the terms "buy short," "p/e ratio," "place," "put," "par value," "preferred shares," and "day trading."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:35 (twenty years ago) link

32. the bosses' coffee
33. belt sander
34. The Queen of England
35. on a fine silver platter drizzled with Hollandaise and garnished with parsley sprig
36. altar boys

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:39 (twenty years ago) link

37. in its place, the saucy little thing

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:08 (twenty years ago) link

with the fondue kit

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:09 (twenty years ago) link

38. Hazmat containment unit
39. Cleveland, Ohio
40. Grover Cleveland
41. Grover Cleveland Alexander
42. Grover
43. Super-Grover
44. Grover when he's being the Annoying Waiter
45. anyone who objects to all these mentions of Grover
46. copies of the Norton Anthology of Modern Fiction

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:11 (twenty years ago) link

sorry mr. eisbar I am drunk and didn't count right. we're on 48 now:

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:12 (twenty years ago) link

49. on turbodrive

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:12 (twenty years ago) link

50. In a specimen jar.
51. In the refrigerator.
52. In a specimen jar in the refrigerator.
53. In a pair of silk charmeuse boxers.
54. On a blanket on a Lower East Side sidewalk.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:13 (twenty years ago) link

55. turntable (kitties only)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:14 (twenty years ago) link

56. kitties (turntable only)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:15 (twenty years ago) link

"IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!"

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 07:18 (twenty years ago) link

58. on the back burner

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 8 November 2003 08:45 (twenty years ago) link

Haikunym, you just reminded me of some weird Sesame Street porn story that someone e-mailed me years ago, thanks a lot!!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 8 November 2003 09:44 (twenty years ago) link

59; Jar of Nutella.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 10:50 (twenty years ago) link

KING MISSILE TO THREAD!

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 8 November 2003 10:53 (twenty years ago) link

im drunk nest thread eber

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:22 (twenty years ago) link

oh, and Kim, I'm shocked.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:25 (twenty years ago) link

60. In the drunk nest

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:52 (twenty years ago) link

into members of royalty?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:57 (twenty years ago) link

62. Oh, y'know, over there.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:58 (twenty years ago) link

63; Into the ass of a royal servant.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

64; Camilla Parker-Bowles

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

65; Bryan Adams

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

66. The village of Desborough.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 8 November 2003 12:01 (twenty years ago) link

77. In the Negative Zone

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 8 November 2003 12:04 (twenty years ago) link

69; In a 69.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 12:09 (twenty years ago) link

70. Tate Modern

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 8 November 2003 12:56 (twenty years ago) link

71. the mashed potato (ala 'Ill Communication')

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 8 November 2003 12:57 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 116 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

in sweden (neutral)

164. ITYM Switzerland.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 13 September 2004 12:42 (nineteen years ago) link

165. Portsmouth.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:14 (nineteen years ago) link

(Apparently)

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:15 (nineteen years ago) link

four months pass...

REVIVE

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

166.

http://www.salvationarmy-usaeast.org/goodnews/issues/2003_4/6b.jpg

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:25 (nineteen years ago) link

you want to put your penis in *there*??!!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Hahah are you watching what I'm watching? =) xpost

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:30 (nineteen years ago) link

you want to put your penis in *there*??!!

Only if it shuts him the fuck up.

Trayce: No, I didn't know he was on actually.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:32 (nineteen years ago) link

167. in a vadge horror story

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I would have bet money this was a Ned revival. My prognosticator is completely broken.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Even Homer nodded.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:54 (nineteen years ago) link

www.ebay.co.uk

― elwisty, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:28 (nineteen years ago) link

168. A cyclops' one good eye

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:31 (nineteen years ago) link

169. Johnny Carson

― TEH JOHN DAHELEMEME (deangulberry), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:34 (nineteen years ago) link

On the front of the NME

― elwisty, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:40 (nineteen years ago) link

171. On the drumstool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:42 (nineteen years ago) link

172.On the drummer's stool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:43 (nineteen years ago) link

173. http://krant.telegraaf.nl/krant/actueel/oscars/fotos/oscars.1starwars_robots.jpg

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:44 (nineteen years ago) link

174. On the drummer's tool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:44 (nineteen years ago) link

175. in the Social Security lockbox

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:45 (nineteen years ago) link

176. In the drummer's stool.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 24 January 2005 03:01 (nineteen years ago) link

177. beneath a wire hanger

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:25 (nineteen years ago) link

178. underneath your a shoes

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:31 (nineteen years ago) link

180. on the telly

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:31 (nineteen years ago) link

181. in the dirty clothes basket

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:40 (nineteen years ago) link

182. Hills Hoist

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:41 (nineteen years ago) link

attached to the wind-up handle?

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:42 (nineteen years ago) link

183. In the junk drawer

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 24 January 2005 05:50 (nineteen years ago) link

184.Into high society

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:04 (nineteen years ago) link

185. Into the WRONG HANDS.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago) link

from savage love this week...

To engage in "femoral intercourse," you will need one person's dick and another person's thighs. Place dick between thighs, press thighs together, and hump away until thighs are a sticky mess. Some other names for femoral intercourse: college-style, dry humping, "English method," and my favorite, "The Weekly Standard."

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:40 (nineteen years ago) link

186. Evening Standard

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 12:44 (nineteen years ago) link

three years pass...

187. On a necktie

http://13gb.com/media/images/penis_tie.jpg

― stephen, Saturday, 14 June 2008 05:26 (fifteen years ago) link

ILX Gays: ♪♫ Meennnn ♪♫

― Eric H., Saturday, 14 June 2008 05:35 (fifteen years ago) link

188. wallogina

― Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 14 June 2008 08:39 (fifteen years ago) link

(not that I am encouraging this)