Sensational work.
― I would prefer not to. (Chinaski), Tuesday, 12 December 2023 14:48 (four months ago) link
The is easily Top Ten for this thread.
― Hideous Lump, Tuesday, 12 December 2023 16:43 (four months ago) link
aww i just got it
― ...eh you get the gist of it (dog latin), Tuesday, 12 December 2023 16:47 (four months ago) link
first I hated it, now I love it
― kinder, Tuesday, 12 December 2023 22:00 (four months ago) link
Thanks all, this is pretty much the only place for it so I'm glad it worked ...
― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Wednesday, 13 December 2023 13:19 (four months ago) link
Which dinosaur can do three trillion calculations per second?
Triteraflops
― organ doner (ledge), Wednesday, 7 February 2024 10:58 (two months ago) link
Never buy Communist books during a power cut. I went to the bookshop to buy Mao's Little Red Book. The power went out. Came home with my purchase and opened it up.
"Chunyang, 23, telephone Beijing 283901"
Only gone and got his Little Black Book hadn't I???
― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 7 February 2024 11:15 (two months ago) link
No one could understand it when I hired Scar, nefarious and conniving villain from Disney's "The Lion King," to fix the broken sound on my microwave. But sure enough, he didn't have to fiddle with it long at all and before I knew it he was handing me his invoice and saying, "Beep repaired!"
[this joke brought to you by my daughter playing Scar in local children's theater and singing his signature song around the house constantly]
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 7 February 2024 20:47 (two months ago) link
i came up with _one joke_ and just the other day i found out somebody else independently came up with it
actually i just came up with a new, better punchline to a pre-existing joke
q: what's a pirate's favorite letter?a: a letter of marque
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 8 February 2024 03:14 (two months ago) link
That reminds me of a joke, I think I've heard it, or a variation of it, before . . .
Q: What's a cat's favorite letter?A: Cats don't have favorite letters, they're fucking cats.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 8 February 2024 03:17 (two months ago) link
What do you call it when the Phish bandleader only faintly has a quality of not being submerged in condensed milk?
Trey’s trace tres leches-less-ness
― budo jeru, Saturday, 24 February 2024 00:29 (two months ago) link
Your Gods so omnipresent...
"How omnipresent is he?!?"
Your Gods so omnipresent that when he sits around the house, he sits around the house
― H.P, Saturday, 24 February 2024 05:02 (two months ago) link
I was about to tell Lavator's joke at my stand-up night, but then I remembered that the Disney Haters Society had block-booked tickets, so...
No one could understand it when I built a time machine, travelled back one hundred years, kidnapped Lord Baden Powell, and brought him back to the present day to fix the broken sound on my microwave. But sure enough, he didn't have to fiddle with it long at all and before I knew it he was handing me his invoice and saying, "Beep repaired!"
― Grandpont Genie, Saturday, 24 February 2024 06:33 (two months ago) link
Lol H.P.
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Saturday, 24 February 2024 15:49 (two months ago) link
xp i think we have a burgeoning genre here!
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Sunday, 25 February 2024 20:23 (two months ago) link
For your respects neando, have another.
Have you heard how poor the Christians are?
"How poor are they?!?"
The Christians are so poor they only got one God, and they still had to split him 3 ways!
― H.P, Sunday, 25 February 2024 22:16 (two months ago) link
If I ever want to be a hip and happening youth leader, I'll submit that joke as my resume
who was Christian Vander's favourite grunge artist?Curt Kobaiian
― Stevo, Thursday, 18 April 2024 13:55 (two weeks ago) link
There used to be a secret penis hidden in Rembrandt's The Night Watch until he was ordered to paint over it by its central figure. He was Banninck Cocq
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Thursday, 18 April 2024 16:28 (two weeks ago) link
My son said last night right before bed, "I'm going to be like the Republicans and GO P."
― omar little, Saturday, 27 April 2024 21:23 (six days ago) link
Hardly a new one I'm sure but he was happy to have come up with it
― omar little, Saturday, 27 April 2024 21:24 (six days ago) link
I think that’s original to your son actually
― Josefa, Saturday, 27 April 2024 21:30 (six days ago) link