Best opening lines

Life is dull, life is gray
At its best it's just OK
But I'm happy to report:
Life is also short

I like opening lines that set the scene.

"You opened my mail apart at the seams / Now you know I live beyond my means"

"The last time I saw Richard was Detroit in '68 and he told me / all romantics meet the same fate some day / Cynical and drink and boring someone in some dark café"

"I got a letter from the government the other day / I opened and read it / It said they were suckers / They wanted me for their army or whatever"

I like second lines that are critiques of opening lines, like in "Lovergirl" by Teena Marie:

Coffee, tea, or me, baby? Touché au lait
My openin' line might be a bit passé, yes

God knows you ain’t pretty, God knows its true

I think the first 5 seconds of Destroyer's Streethawk are some of the best opening seconds of any album. You could turn it off right there and have a clear idea of what the next 40 minutes are going to entail.