IM ON UR HOT TAMALE TRAIN BEIN CHAUFFEURED BY LOSS, or So You Think You Can Dance 5 (starts May 21)

if evan wins this thing i'll seriously have to consider suicide or moving to canada

also: last night's program mostly served to demonstrate how last year's group (and those masked dudes from america's best dance crew) are all so much more amazing than this year's crop

seriously, this is some archuleta/kris allen grandmas-creamin' BS

Glad Nigel was able to spare 5 seconds to mention Merce Cunningham. I was hoping they even bring one of his dancers to perform on the results show but that's was probably a pipe dream.

*would bring

the show began with a sad-clown Evan waving bye-bye; I should have stopped there and pretended it was a result

Only 6 weeks 'til Season 6.

six blissful Kasprzak-free weeks before they're back?

People have called Ryan Kasprzak better in technique/choreography, but since Evan has gotten so far, I wonder he would still seem fresh and bring something new to the table in season 6 if he makes it. I definitely felt the difference between siblings Lacey and Benji, and Stanislav/Faina didn't make it far enough to really warrant a comparison.

yeah my guess is better brother won't make it very far cause it took enough to get people psyched about boring brother.

I think if Ryan shows credible examples of the same style without shrugging his shoulders every three seconds, he will win over the people who want to see Evan mutilated by tap shoes.

Michael, you mean that Lacey felt like Schwimmer overload? She definitely had a disadvantage following up her bro who was an enormous personality and probably a better dancer in his style than she is (though she's more versatile I think), which probably magnified any of her shortcomings. But Ameriker didn't seem to mind, certainly not afraid of sibling reprise, since we had back-to-back finales repped by a Schwimmer.

Biggest difference between the Kasprzaks -- at least from a TV standpoint -- is that Baldo Kasprzak seems a lot more outgoing than Aww Shucks Kasprzak and thus likelier speak in multiple sentences at a time. Normally I'd say his telegenic personality would count for a lot among the voting public, but then we're talking about viewers who didn't connect with Janette.

Not only is S6 around the corner, new ABDC starts in a couple weeks. It's like some TV god decreed that not a week will pass without a dance reality program on the air.

i am ok with that, really

I kind of wonder if America was punishing Mia by not voting for Janette.

haha Ryan can serve as a referendum on whether people liked Evan for his dancing or just that quality I can only describe as "virginal"

yes! i think evan is actually getting a lot of votes on the 'aw shucks' factor, which makes me, aw shucks, really fucking sad!

I am not up-to-date with this week but I do think Evan did a more than credible job last week, certainly better than Ade's cha-cha.

(Ade and Melissa were kind of in another world with that cancer dance, though. Wow. My wife bawled through the whole thing.)

oh man, I typed this earlier but I guess I didn't post it: basically my hope here is that the finale will include the kind of demanding head-to-head guys-only routine that will make it near-impossible for anyone to vote for Evan in good conscience. (though I guess it doesn't matter as much in the finale.)

btw I know I'm a week behind but did anyone else lol at bitchy Mia Michaels riding so hard for bitchy LaurieAnn MyAssGotFiredOnMakingTheBand?

they usually do incude a top 2 guys head to head (remember that dueling princes one?). but i don't think it matters. they're gonna have to hope that ade's and melissa's voters defect to brandon or someone else bc i think if any of them go to evan, he will win.

another thing, i loved kayla but now i'm bored by her. if she could only do choreography and never her own solos, i'd like her better. her solos are just... lame.

who?
xpost

She did Jeanine and Brandon's combat war routine and totally got in Jeanine's grill during rehearsals.

The thing about Evan is that he guarantees that I'm going to vote for Brandon no matter what either of them do next week.

yeah, but i think the flip side to that is that none of evan's current voters are gonna defect.

i can't vote.
i feel like a convicted felon or something.

I actually can't tell about Brandon's votership versus Evan's -- he was only ever on the bottom of anything once, right? Hard to remember. I was sort of hoping that vote totals for women turn out to be much higher than voting for guys, but based on previous-season turnouts I guess there's no reason to imagine that.

basically if Evan wins I think they should just cancel the show

btw is that one bigger lady in the audience Kayla's mom?

grandma?
didn't she have a weird sob story?

well the grandparents who raised her were there for most of it -- they were sorta appropriately vague about what was up with her mother -- and now lately there's been a woman in a big black shirt as the Kayla's-family go-to, so...

cool, Kayla's mom likes Big Black

Re: Schwimmers - To me, I felt Lacey was different enough from Benji that it didn't matter so much that they were siblings.

their different sexes probably didn't hurt that

kayla is the tallest person in the final 4

i want to say she's my favorite except she danced to that fucking fray song

thing is, evan is a pretty great dancer, but his face is just terrible

Surprised Ellen didn't call him out on taking "performance enhancing mugs." (cue heavy laughter from the rest of the judges)

@ this point whoever wins we all lose imo

i want to say she's my favorite except she danced to that fucking fray song

Is this better, nza?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-IKuruGQ28

In the event that someone manages to interview (or, at least, ask one question) to judges, Cat, the final four dancers, what questions would you like to have asked?

ask them if they can get tyce fired. i watched the performance show yesterday and was struck again by how terrible his routines are. the going to the chapel one was ridic so formless and pointless. and it didnt really make sense given the context ~~ shouldnt it have been urgent and tense? bah he sux

that IS a great question.

also pls to ask: why won't you make anyone dance real hip hop???

Beatrix, judging from the crowd reaction, I'd say find a nice length of rope/I hear Vancouver is nice in the fall.

Hah, Steve Reich.

Bombastic finale, but pretty awesome. Yes, Evan was "thrown under a bus" by the judges & routines, and the showcase Paso Doble piece was given to the two dancers who'd most likely excel at it, but I still have no idea how this is going to go down. Kayla showing personality too? What the.

Jeanine's pirouette where she gradually slows down and stops on a dime = incredible

the evan chant had me a little nervous that white blightning is going to take it all.

Jeanine's pirouette where she gradually slows down and stops on a dime = incredible

Holy fuck yes.

The main thing I took away from the finale was how much more they wanted Ade there instead of Evan.

FINGERS CROSSED - voted about 20 times for B and maybe 10 times for J

oh, who am i kidding, that wasn't enough to keep Evan from walking off with that thing

i love the underhanded/talking-outta-side-of-mouth way all the judges were like "EVAN U POPULAR LOL"

It's too bad* Adam Shenkman is too busy to be a full-time judge on this show because he is much more coherent than Mary and about a bazillion times less annoying.

* - lol not really, congrats on yr successful career Adam

I couldn't count the number of times the judges gave Evan some vague compliment and then mentioned that his partner was awesome. It's like they are afraid of saying too much bad about Evan, lest America underdog him into first place. It doesn't matter, I think he'll win anyway, judging by the enormous crowd support for him at the show. But I thought he was clearly outmatched by everyone he danced with yesterday, just like the last few weeks.