Twitter C/D

i've decided my hope in 2023 is for twitter to be finally brought down by the death of henry kissinger

here's a fun fact my original twitter username in the very early days was @kissinger and i changed it bc i got so many @s from psychos

lol

It's completely fucked today.

A certain Liz Phair song to thread!

ah causes yes very good

We believe that cause-based advertising can facilitate public conversation around important topics. Today, we're relaxing our ads policy for cause-based ads in the US. We also plan to expand the political advertising we permit in the coming weeks.

— Twitter Safety (@TwitterSafety) January 3, 2023

A real "let all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out" move there.

do you think they'll be able to adhere to Washington's campaign finance laws around funding disclosures better than Facebook did?

There was another Taibbi Twitter files today

Tree falls in woods etc

Speaker, Speaker

https://i.imgur.com/Srz7TgJ.png

microphone check

lol got this as a recommended tweet, Twitter just feels embarrassing now

NEWS: Model 3 with 2 kids, 2 adults inside falls 250 feet off cliff, Injuries initially described as moderate.

CA HP doesn't believe car was in Autopilot or FSD. CALFIRE: “Nothing short of a miracle” they survived.@Tesla safety is next level. pic.twitter.com/v6NbjKuhDK

— Sawyer Merritt (@SawyerMerritt) January 3, 2023

Turned out that Tesla crash was intentional homicide

Awful story but leave it to Elon stans to spin it as good news for Tesla.

The car saved them all because if all the passengers in a Tesla are gonna be murdered, it's gonna be the car's decision, not the driver's.

the Tesla said "not today"

"What are you doing Dave?"

"Not today, Toonces."

trending topics are really stupid now, literally every day "minneapolis" is in my trending topics, well no shit that's where i live and many people i follow are from there

i love when it says

(state name)
trending in (state name)

lol i get that all the time too

so do i. when the trending team, with elon's guidance, took a deep look under the hood, they found an astonishing correlation between the names of the states and areas where the name of that state was trending. it was too important to suppress

Author Susan Meachen died from suicide 2 years ago. Except it turns out she didn’t. What an absolute piece of shit #authors #MentalHealthMatters pic.twitter.com/nNU0LCEU3i

— Be a lot cooler if you did 💫🌪💫 (@Draggerofliars) January 4, 2023

oh yowza... username/post etc

burying the lede

At the time, a group of authors dedicated this anthology to her, proceeds were given to the family I believe (will confirm). Btw, these are USA Today best selling authors. Susan’s “suicide” was due to bullying pic.twitter.com/vsnprlAVyh

— Be a lot cooler if you did 💫🌪💫 (@Draggerofliars) January 4, 2023

Best selling? From bits I read I got the impression she was a self published Kindle author looking to make a little off being dead. I'll be wasting more time on this yet lol

samples

the fact that her bio reads like this is so funny. “author” really is a generous word here. https://t.co/5SaYyEiHKO pic.twitter.com/gAASNCWngv

— kate wagner (@mcmansionhell) January 4, 2023

I put this on the literary clusterfuck thread but I hadn’t gotten to the writing samples, oh my god

For Straight-to-Kindle-Paranormal-Romance it's probably above the norm

oh I'll have to check in on ILB. Does it take a lot of sales to be a USA Today best seller?

I'm a Wife, Mom, Meme

I'm just pleased that there's a twitter main character of the day that isn't the dipshit who bought the company. Maybe there's hope for 2023 after all

in my eye

i always welcome questions and messages from fans or anyone who hates what i did

well this is exceptionally terrible.

some sort of masochism thing there

if she had written detective stories it wouldve been cool

lol "what i did", and this was before the fake death?

paging colonel sebastian moran

Arrogant tyrants.

Blue-blood bastards.

Call them whatever you want.

Around here, we just call them Kings.

Fancy boats.

Lakeside mansions.

Luxe watches and bespoke suits.

The Kings of High Court College act like Gods.

And Cooper Valcourt is the worst of them.

He is the bully king.

His family owns everything.

And his mission is to put me in my place and send me packing.

i think I'm in love

yeah there is a huuuge “in love with my bully” fic genre

i prefer "kings"

i meant with the author though. it'll pass. like so much mist in the lagoon.

therapy is expensive

Think of the unpaid co-pays!

Dark Debt-Collector Calls Romance

gonna wait for the inevitable new york magazine article (and subsequent FX miniseries starring sarah paulson) to pay attention to this

i’ve been logged out and when i try to log back in it says “this account already exists”

um i know

i just got switched to home timeline without doing anything

notes on why its is also a nice site:

in a retweet-n-pray tale variously involving twitter users frosty the snowman (parody), followers for algernon (aka @bonerhitler) and foreskin gamer extreme (aka @nudeobama aka pikachu headpat girl), craigslist shaman (aka @sendgod2jail)'s lost inside-only cat yoda returned safely of its own accord

currently banned for a week for replying to a Tory MP's bigoted tweet "I wish unlimited ill on you you racist piece of shit". total pointless suicide-by-cop behaviour but it does underline why I need to stay off it tbh