US INCOME TAX!

I would estimate 19.5%

Not quite. I'm asking what kind of sedatives I can send you so's to keep you from having a heart attack, Tom.

troll

If I were trolling you'd be on the floor clutching yr chest and punching 9-1-1 on yr cellie.

kind of hoping the IRS goes to town on your rich ass

I'm sorry. I gave you an answer you didn't want. Here:

"it doesn't matter, you can file in july and nobody will give a fuck. I've done it ten times, I've never had a problem."

I don't care if you and your wife go to jail or lose your house (unless it gets sold at foreclosure auction and is a really good deal).

I just prefer that you not swagger around setting a bad example for the impressionable youth of Ip3, crutis borad at al., whose promise-filled lives have yet to descend into a bitter death spirals of ignorance, apathy and, yes, moral turpitude.

xp

Lose my house? Heh. At worst, I get a fine. The only question is how big.

Well I hope the house comes with a static IP address because if it wasn't looking like willful a couple of hours ago, any last reasonable doubt in the mind of any government investigator has definitely been removed. Good job.

Oh, come on felicidrama. We all know that the gov't is far from THAT good.

i just have this 2 say 2 u

smoke weed everyday

Oh yeah? Then how come this former government employee just cashed her giant refund check and you're still trolling?

xp Yeah why not

libcrypt is the graham of tax

luriqua probably filed last week

I love my tax preparer. He was the drummer for the Circle Jerks.

It's all probably irrelevant, since I'm pretty sure I'm due a refund. God I hope so.

Wife last year cashed in stock options and nixed all hopes of fun April bonus.

So this is really the first year I have any idea of how the house will impact real taxes.

Next.

I may just take one of the online filing services up to the point of marriage and use their estimate for an extension.

I have an accountant picked out for next year but she wasn't taking new clients for this year so that's what that drama's all about. Dun think she played drums for any punk bands tho.

Weird thing is that my wife delayed paying last year's taxes for like 8 months and I have absolutely no idea how in the hell she made that work out w/o us in jail.

Because the SOL for failure to file is 6 years and they'd rather have a slam dunk two-timer than an innocent one time mistake, genius.

You had me at "apologies." Not get that extension in or imona hafta smack you with the Tax Manual.

Thanks for the advices. I do appreciate it.

Did your wife forget to claim herself as a dependent?

The story is honestly to complex for me to explain here w/o causing Tom to start streaming blood from his eye gaskets so let me just say that I appreciate everyone's goodwill and cross yr fingers that I can keep outta jail, aimmy.

Only because I like the new nickname aimmy, I will. keep my fingers crossed.

i don't really get why i owe money, i've never owed money before. is this like some new thing, people owe money and that's why we're getting $600 in the mail later?

wtf

This is the first year in a few that I haven't owed money, actually.

nice

my bf owes so much htis year, like $1200 or something ridiculous! sucks

I love the internet:

- dude asks relative strangers for advice on serious tax shit
- people are like SERIOUS TAX SHIT IS SERIOUS
- dude LOLs and takes umbrage at folks losing their relative (albeit justified) shit while asking for more advice
- people are still like SERIOUSLY DUDE THIS IS SERIOUS WTF WITH THE FEET DRAGGING
- dude manages to backhandedly thank folks and lob lame zings @ the same time

Also, if this is the thread where Ally rips into me for not getting a mondo-sized refund, then, well, yeah, I should probably just stop withholding extra $$$ from my paycheck and instead put the money into a savings acct / money market acct / interest-accruing mattress.

rips into me for WHINING ABOUT not getting

I went online at the library and filed in 25 minutes.

Yeah, it took me very little time to figure out that I owe $675 that I can ill afford. Wheeeeeee! Being poor is so cool!

I already put my sob story on another thread. $1800 in federal, state, and quarterly estimated for next year. That's the biggest pain in the ass, that quarterlies are due on April 15th also.

- dude asks relative strangers for advice on serious tax shit
- people are like SERIOUS TAX SHIT IS SERIOUS

I did ask a rather specific question, and instead of getting an answer, which is fine, I just got "OMG DUDE DON'T FUCK AROUND" from the anger-management crowd without a whole helluvalot to back it up. I mean, this isn't exactly HRBLOCK.COM, so it's not like I'm banking on advice here, but there's something to be said for actually answering the question asked.

I have no answers, I finally finished my taxes last night at 8:30 - even though I'd entered everything into TurboTax five weeks ago. I've never waited this long to file.

but there's something to be said for actually answering the question asked.

Which Jaq did, and you blew her off same as everyone else.

No, I took her answer seriously. Look, this whole needless drama would have entered denouement right about there if Tom hadn't had an episode and I hadn't taken the bait.

DO YOUR TAXES DICKCHEESE

yeah, you won't get your stimulus check if you don't file.

Now that's about the most salient point I've heard yet.

TAX BAT!

DO YOUR TAXES DICKCHEESE

This should be the running title of the annual ILX Income Tax Thread.

Can a dumbass Brit ask a stupid question?

Do all US citizens have to file a self-assessed tax return? Not just the self-employed/freelancers/etc? Over here, if you're a regular employee, income tax (and national insurance) is deducted at source. You only do your own taxes if you're self-employed/sole trader/limited company/etc. I was a limited company for 4 years and had an accountant do mine; for a couple of years afterwards I still got the s-a forms through the post so was obliged to do them myself - eventually I was taken off that list and just went back to being a P(ay)A(s)Y(ou)E(earn) drone.

I could just ask the missus, I s'pose.

yes, in short.

Deductions are taken from your paycheck throughout the year (mostly - freelancers and contractors have it a little different) and then on April 15th you check against your shelters and exceptions and whatnot to see if you overpaid and get a refund or if you underpaid and have to make up the difference.

And yes, everyone working (and some who don't) files a tax return.