people that YELP are scumbags

I turned red, snarled back something like, "I've never been here before...SORRY" and took my place in the back of the line. it was an awkward wait, to say the least.

i love it when ppl do not even realize they are being an unreliable narrator, about their own lives

maybe lake rating doesn't surprise me because I used to look at ratemyprofessor.com when signing up for classes

bottom line is people rate everything

that shit needs to be destroyed too. "made me do a paper, so mean!!"

yes rmp has to be the most unreliable rating site of all time.

I just trust the chili peppers

i looked up a friend on there and a surprising number of responses were variations on "she gets really mad if you come in late, but she's pretty hot"

"i think she was teaching English or something"

tbf chili peppers are often otm.

RMP cheered up a friend's day when I showed him his page and he had a 4.7 on the hotness scale.

yelp saleslady has been incessant caller for the last few weeks trying to hip me to the jive re: their god damn website and why my store should give them all my money. pimpin pimpin pimpin

"honey you still writin' your word thing on the interwebs?"

"damn straight i am. you still got the Montezuma's Revenge?"

"indeed i do, honey do me a favor? with regards to the food that was served to us tonight? call me "underwhelmed," will ya? can quote me on that?

"you know i will sugar bean."

"and bring me some pepto when you get a chance?"

This sound so much like an Achewood script.

nah

1. Eclipse Records
Categories: Music & DVD's, Music Venues
4.5 star rating
4 reviews
1922 University Ave W
Saint Paul, MN 55104
(651) 645-7724

2. Eclipse Productions
1701 E Hennepin Ave
Minneapolis, MN 55414
(612) 331-4210

3. Eclipse Electric Mfg Inc
Category: Lighting Fixtures & Equipment
6512 Walker St
Minneapolis, MN 55426
(952) 929-2500

4. Eclipse Dungs Controls
2740 Patton Rd
Saint Paul, MN 55113
(651) 635-0410

5. Eclipse
Category: Day Spas
2611 Innsbruck Dr
Saint Paul, MN 55112
(651) 633-6163

6. Eclipse Laboratories
7732 W 78th St
Minneapolis, MN 55439
(952) 946-8843

7. Eclipse Music
Categories: Musical Instruments & Teachers, Electronics
149 Thompson Ave E
West St Paul, MN 55118
(651) 451-8878

fuck if im going to give money to a place where i show up later in the search listings than a DUNGS CONTROLS operation

maybe if you paid them you could be number 1 how's that sound

"I've never been here before...SORRY"

^^^should be the default second post of every ilx newbie

Rating # on RMP is total garbage, but the actual reviews are occassionally helpful. More so than Yelp! anyway.

The food was fantastic, the drink I had was great. But still, I was underwhelmed. The service was mediocre, the decor gave me a sense of deja vu (upscale tavern typical: polished wood, dim lights, unmemorable details), and it just didn't seem like a good value.

"The tables are close enough together that when the waiter did not bother to look over at me or the table despite my "Hey, I'm the customer asking for something" hand up and looking right at him, it was clear I was being ignored.

When I did not leave a tip because of the service? The waiter ran out of the store after me to ask if I did not have good service. -- don't chase me down to my car, your manager (?) will hear about it one way or another.

:soap box:
Thai (and other asian) restaurants - when a customer says "give me authentic, i've had it before" - dont pussy foot around and feed me the regular food. I know you can do better.

American restaurant-goers - stop giving out tips just because you are eating out. Be realistic enough to give $0.00 tip if you don't get the basic service - if there is an error and the waiter does not apologize or even wait to see if it is to your liking - that's a clear sign. You wouldn't buy a tv with no electricity would you?

I'm a firm but fair tipper. Be one too. You and your pocket book are not cheap - especially in this economy. And this restaurant's waiter helped to remind me.
:soap box:"

DEAR YELPER, PLEASE DIE

(that said, I don't hate Yelp at all -- Yelp app is by far the best thing on the iPhone for "help me pick a nearby restaurant" problems.)

especially in this economy--fuck over the service industry whenever you can.

What goes in a UK milkshake?? Now I'm curious.

marmite

blood pudding

boke.

I hate all of you.

treacle maybe?

i am ok with treacle except for the fact that it is called treacle

it sounds like something you should patch your roof with.

yelp saleslady has been incessant caller for the last few weeks trying to hip me to the jive re: their god damn website and why my store should give them all my money. pimpin pimpin pimpin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protection_racket

http://mashable.com/2009/08/27/yelp-augmented-reality/

thread won't be the same w/o omar ;_;

It was definitely an experience. I mean, where else would the "host" be a big black man with a jacket and hat that both have the word SECURITY written across it? Only at Roscoe's!

http://mashable.com/2009/08/27/yelp-augmented-reality/

Fuck restaurants, imagine if you could just point your iPhone camera at people's genitals and a YELP sexual rating would come up. "Delicious" or "Avoid."

god i wish you could leave insulting comments beneath people's reviews! or at least click a button that would add "people thought this was: what the fuck is this supposed to be even?? (1)" why did you think you needed to write a useless three star review of a chinese restaurant in the character of a malfunctioning robot???

Yeah being able to comment on a review is a functionality that is sorely needed. Amazon implemented it a while back and it adds a lot to the site.

"I don't know if anyone who reviewed, actually was conscious when they went to __________"

been seeing lots of these reviewers lately...if you had a good experience at a restaurant they thought poorly of, they'll just assume you were drunk and/or retarded.

i would consider joining yelp to complain about people's comments

More from the same review:

"After a long wait, the doorman wouldn't let us in, thinking that my friend was "underage", at 23. Then after showing an ID, thought it was fake"

A whole TWO YEARS past drinking age and the doorman didn't immediately recognize that he was of drinking age? For shame. Also I have been to this place a million times, and they don't have a doorman. It's a restaurant with a bar inside, they only check your ID if you buy a drink/hookah.

And then the last part of the review is basically "omg belly dancers started dancing!", which is the equivalent of going to a bar with a stage and then freaking out because a band starts playing live music.

Also the guy's name is "Mace"

why did you think you needed to write a useless three star review of a chinese restaurant in the character of a malfunctioning robot???

The Pitchfork'idization of online food reviews.

can't even quantify how primal my anger is at that fuckin comment max posted

destroy anyone who talks any kind of shit at all about roscoe's imo

scumbags gotta eat

I wrote my first yelp review (a complainy one) today, but only because the customer service I had from somewhere was so incredibly bad I thought people needed to know. Their only other review was poor as well. Of course the owner wrote me about five minutes after it went up to complain to me about it, and I was like, "you're certainly faster to respond to negative online reviews than you are responding to the multiple emails I sent you over the past three months about the status of my shit".

dude there are probably other places you can just go to if you want cheese fries so bad

yes, but it was a place I sent my camera for repair, so it was a bit different.

sending your camera in for repair at a cheese fries place was probably your first mistake

people that REPAIR cameras are scumbags

The barkeep took my order. I opted for the first thing on the menu - three eggs, sausage, potatoes, toast.

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Basted."

"What? Pasted? You mean scrambled?"

"Nope. Basted. Up and done. Sunny side up. Whites done, yolks runny."

"What was that you called 'em?"

"Basted. B-A-S-T-E-D. Some cooks use a little water and a small lid. Others splash grease. Basted. Steamed. Like that."

"I'll tell the chef."

He paid attention to me. I like that.

Brunch at Cheryl's includes a Bloody Mary and coffee. The drink was robust - aromatic celery, black (I think) pepper, horseradishy heat, big on the booze, three nice green olives skewered and spanned rim to rim. Great coffee, too.

I sipped the drink. I slurped the coffee.

And I sipped.

And I slurped.

Sip.

Slurp.

Sip.

Slurp.

Barkeep asked, "Your order come out?"

"Nope."

"I'll check." He ducked into the kitchen, came right back. "Order's on it's way, sir. Would you like another drink? No? You sure? It's on me."

I had other things to do that day besides pass out, topple over and fart.

"No thanks. I'm fine."

He apologized again for the delay. But I didn't mind. Really. Well, maybe a little. But not enough to do anything about it.

Two minutes later he apologized again.

A half-minute after that someone slid the plate in front of me. My eyes got big. 'Oh,' I thought. 'This'll do!'

Nothing satisfies like a traditional American breakfast, that's what I say, and I had satisfaction promised and plated right there before me. Although the egg whites weren't completely set - just a little albumen snot left uncongealed - I pushed off thoughts of Salmonella and dug right in.

The eggs: Rich orange yolk. Needed a little salt, though. Pepper would've been nice, too - damn near essential, I think - but all I saw was shaker stuff. I dumped a little into my palm, whiffed. Yup, that's what I figured: Ground so long ago its peppery pungency had passed. Oh, well.

jesus