ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

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1st titles of 2008, for reference:

WTA Gold Coast: LI Na d. Victoria AZARENKA 4-6 6-3 6-4
WTA Auckland: Lindsay DAVENPORT d. Aravane REZAÏ 6-2 6-2

ATP Doha: Andy MURRAY d. Stanislas Wawrinka 6-4 4-6 6-2
ATP Adelaide: Michaël LLODRA d. Jarkko NIEMINEN 6-3 6-4
ATP Chennai: Mikhail YOUZHNY d. Rafael NADAL 6-0 6-1

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:06 (8 years ago) Permalink

go davenport!!

Surmounter, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:42 (8 years ago) Permalink

Week 2/2008, with all eyes on the AO anyway:

WTA Sydney: Justine HENIN d. Svetlana KUZNETSOVA 4-6 6-2 6-4
WTA Hobart: Eleni DANIILIDOU walk-over vs Vera ZVONAREVA

ATP Sydney: Dmitry TURSUNOV d. Chris GUCCIONE 7-6(3) 7-6(4)
ATP Auckland: Philipp KOHLSCHREIBER d. Juan Carlos FERRERO 7-6(4) 7-5

anatol_merklich, Monday, 14 January 2008 07:40 (8 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Watching Sharapova vs Obziler in the Israel-Russia Fed Cup tie now, and wow is the crowd noisy! Rapturous cheering on every serve fault by Maria, tauntingly SCREAMING along with her on every shot etc. Umpire totally unable to silence them haha!

anatol_merklich, Saturday, 2 February 2008 12:50 (8 years ago) Permalink

fuck what channel? we need to sign up for the tennis channle, i can't be missing stuff like this

Surmounter, Sunday, 3 February 2008 02:45 (8 years ago) Permalink

I just go to and check whether anything is available ("Live Sports" tab -> "Tennis" button). Note: playing stuff may in general entail installing various Chinese tv apps (sopcast, tvants, uusee...). That particular tie, however, is on some Israeli sports station showing through Windows Media Player or I guess any other .wmv-showing app.

anatol_merklich, Sunday, 3 February 2008 10:09 (8 years ago) Permalink

How useful it is if you're not using Windows I've no idea. Also, quality unsurprisingly varies wildly; this Israeli broadcast is pretty decent.

Pe'er was double-breadsticked by the Shazbot right now, making it 2-1 to Russia. Elsewhere, France vs China will be decided by the doubles.

anatol_merklich, Sunday, 3 February 2008 10:28 (8 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Murray knocks out Federer in the first round of the Dubai tournament.

nice one you unpatriotic little shit.

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 17:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

he was wearing a saltire cap when he was playing, which doesn't seem desperately unpatriotic to me.

ailsa, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:01 (8 years ago) Permalink

Federer was too busy not thinking about yesterday

Matt, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:05 (8 years ago) Permalink

i was only referring to his disinclination to play davis cup.
and i was kidding about that anyway - i care no more about it than he does.

still, 'unpatriotic' was probably a poor choice of word. well done young man!

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:35 (8 years ago) Permalink

It was more the "little shit" that you coupled it with, to be fair.

Anyway, yes, two out of three won against Federer now.

ailsa, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

God knows why he'd want to play the Davis Cup. Who else is going to be on the team? I wouldn't want to be winning matches and carrying a team full of useless people in a tournament that has long since lost its cachet and relevance except in the eyes of really, really old tennis commentators.

edwardo, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:38 (8 years ago) Permalink

x-post take umbrage wherever you like it was all meant in jest, apart from the congratulatory bit. internet does not do deadpan.

But I genuinely like Murray. I also agree with the above post. I can't be arsed to even watch Davis Cup so I can't blame him if he's rather not play in it.

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:45 (8 years ago) Permalink

5 months pass...

Andy Murray wins something

Herman G. Neuname, Sunday, 3 August 2008 21:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

He has won about 4-5 career titles before...but yes, its his biggest win

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 3 August 2008 21:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

this is his third title of 2008 alone. by far the biggest though! wish i could've seen it, sounds like a fantastic match, and it's good to see him encroaching on THE TRIVALRY even if i do like nole more (lol the way fed's playing, nadal/djokovic/murray is the real trivalry).

on the WTA, dinara safina has won two big titles in a row! she is the only woman out there who is stepping up to fill the void at the top. jankovic is going to be world no 1 next week, that is embarrassing. the WTA is probably in the worst shape i've ever witnessed.

lex pretend, Sunday, 3 August 2008 22:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

also i didn't know this thread existed!

lex pretend, Sunday, 3 August 2008 22:09 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh I know he's won stuff before but not a big tourney. It was a good match. He looks so much fitter and stronger than he was a year or 2 ago.

Herman G. Neuname, Sunday, 3 August 2008 23:53 (7 years ago) Permalink

Nadal will be #1 on 18/8. Can't quite believe Fed's slump post-SW19; loss to Simon, near-loss to Ginepri, loss to Karlovic. Thought he might have at least made a fight of the #1 ranking (his form was fine for 18 of 19 matches in Paris, Halle and London); I had this romantic notion of the baton being passed as Fed beat Nadal at Flushing Meadow (Nadal's points surge taking him past the repeating champ despite the loss). Fed will be lucky to get out of the sixteens in NYC. Does Beijing have any ranking points?

Michael Jones, Monday, 4 August 2008 00:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

yeah, it does. i think a few less than a masters event for the dudes, a few more than a tier ii for the chicas.

GOD that feels ridiculous looking at it! thinking about how much the olympics mean to, like, track&fielders and rowers and the like, and in tennis it's like...a TIER II.

anyway in other news, THIS is the 15-year-old saviour of the WTA who in the past month has taken sets from both serena and sweta, michelle larcher de brito:

she makes sharapova sound like a trappist. seriously i can't believe she hasn't been asked to stop that bullshit yet, or like MURDERED ON COURT by a deafened opponent. that's not a grunt, that's a scream with a sustain pedal on. i'm not sure i'm going to be able to actually watch any of her matches.

oh and in other news silliams has pissed on her phone at the beach:
sometimes you just long for the days before celebrities discovered how to work the internet themselves :(

(also note "enuf boring stuff" LIKE TENNIS)

lex pretend, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

you know, i used to watch all the nonslams cuz my stepdad taped them. then i didn't speak to him anymore. i wish i knew when they were on -- i think i'm gonna have to get on top of that!

Surmounter, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

they're on every week! televised or not is another qn

lex pretend, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

exactly, that's the thing.

Surmounter, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

10 months pass...

Blake was asked about the partisan crowd before today's final and reminded everyone he's half English :)

BBC giving it "Blake is just happy to be here" bollocks - dude isn't here to make the numbers up. I think I'll be pro-Blake today, as he does things like this

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 13:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Well done Andy!

ailsa, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:02 (7 years ago) Permalink

Bit of a dull game lit up by a few stunning forehands. Shoddy line calls all day, none of which helped Blake. Well done to Murray on being the first Brit in yonks to win Queen's, which I'm sure won't lead to even more Wimbledon hype.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

I predict Murray will cave under the pressure and be out by round 3.

ailsa, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:09 (7 years ago) Permalink

he doesn't seem to be the sort to cave under pressure. but a friendly first-week draw would certainly be nice...

didn't watch the Queen's, but watched the Edgbaston SFs (Li d. Sharapova and Rybarikova d. Mirza) and a bit of the final today - Magdalena Rybarikova is a real discovery, such a classic grass-court game! Slices and volleys and good serving! she looks weirdly like Samantha Morton, too. i remember seeing a photo of her from her junior days when she lost some random final - she was posing w/the trophy and seriously looked like she was about to go bowling for columbine. so it was lucky for Edgbaston that she won today!

Haas beat Djokovic in the Halle final this week too.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

in other news, larcher de screamo gets a wildcard to wimbledon. FUN.

Roz, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

The weird transatlantification of Murray's pan loaf accent has meant I can't actually hear what he's saying - it's just a series of droning noises that makes my ears stop working.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

pan loaf accent

is that how you talk with your mouth full of bread?

Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

It was once more expensive and regarded as more fashionable than the then more common plain loaf. Hence, to speak with a pan loafy voice is to speak in a posh or affected manner.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

How on earth does Murray speak with an affected accent?! He just mumbles.

I found that picture of Rybarikova looking like she's ready to go bowling for Columbine after losing the Wimbledon juniors final!

Fortunately today was more to her liking.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haas beat Djokovic in the Halle final this week too.

!!! interesting result for sure. fed dropped out?

Lamp, Sunday, 14 June 2009 17:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

yeah...Djokovic was lucky to be in the final at all, he had to come back from 5-7, 2-5 down and save 5 match points against Florent Serra (!) in the 2nd round.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 17:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...


French tennis player banned for betting found dead

Natural causes apparently.

RIP Mathieu

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 15:55 (7 years ago) Permalink

Fuckin' hell. (Though my initial shock was because I thought you meant Paul-Henri Mathieu...)

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 16:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh right, sorry! To avoid confusion to others: it's Mathieu Montcourt.

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 16:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

The Lex's favourite choker, Richard Gasquet avoids getting suspended after testing positive for coke.

The full findings are here (pdf): pretty lol-worthy just for the kissing descriptions and finding out that he was allegedly "contaminated" at a Bob Sinclar event.

Roz, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 20:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

hingis should've found a french waiter of her own to blame. or maybe just one of the 9494439 atp players she'd slept with.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 20:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

her ban ends in january right? think she'll come back?

Roz, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 21:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

wtf federer?! 5-2 up in the final set, somehow fails to serve it out twice and then DFs on match point in the tie-break to give Tsonga the win.

all credit to Jo-W for stepping it up right at the end, but still... that was some breakdown.

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

5-1 up in the third! :o

at the same time I was watching Flavia Pennetta try to choke away her match - she beat Venus in the last round, and winning this would mean a top 10 debut. 6 match points came and went, double faults on at least two of them, but her opponent was Hantuchova so it was OK in the end.

btw, Serena's post-Wimbledon record = QF loss in Stanford to Stosur and 3R loss in Cincinnati to Bammer, who now owns a 2-0 record over her. The Real Number 1!

am endeavouring to pretend the horrific Clijsters comeback isn't happening. never liked her.

best recent press conference = Marat defending baby sis by telling the press to "go fuck themselves" <3

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

obv didn't see the Fed match but am guessing that J-W just started going even more for broke than usual when down 1-5, and everything began going in.

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

yep and suddenly firing aces as well when he hadn't been able to get a good first serve in since like the end of the first set. meanwhile fed's serve just went to pieces after that.

also yay dinara fighting back a break in both sets to beat kimmy. would've hated it if she lost this one.

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

best recent press conference = Marat defending baby sis by telling the press to "go fuck themselves" <3

this whole presser was fucking classic.

Q. Now that you stopped, what about coaching her?

MARAT SAFIN: Oh, you want me to hang myself? (laughter.)

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

<3 <3 <3

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

Wow, Pennetta will be Italy's FIRST EVER top 10 woman! Both Schiavone and, before her, Farina Elia peaked at 11.

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

Meanwhile, Andy Murray becomes the first man not named Roger or Rafa to hold a spot in the top two since forever. More importantly, Del Potro beat Roddick.

Michael Jones, Sunday, 16 August 2009 09:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

& 15 sets

still rafa looked & is looking p good rn

johnny crunch, Friday, 13 May 2016 22:28 (2 months ago) Permalink

huh tennis channel is marathoning every serena slam win starting tmorrow @ 1 est, they look to be in no discerning order

johnny crunch, Saturday, 14 May 2016 19:26 (2 months ago) Permalink

or chronological i guess heh

johnny crunch, Saturday, 14 May 2016 19:35 (2 months ago) Permalink

god novak in this 3d set >>>>

johnny crunch, Saturday, 14 May 2016 20:25 (2 months ago) Permalink

novak was cranky and a bit off but andy played really great, holy shit that match pt

johnny crunch, Sunday, 15 May 2016 16:51 (2 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

Elise Mertens d. Eugenie Bouchard (7) 6-2 6-0

the "bouchard is back!!!" narrative is getting more credible every week. what has she even done this season apart from reaching the hobart final and getting thrashed by cornet (?) in 30 minutes?

groovemaaan, Monday, 6 June 2016 15:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

60uchard will never leave us!

She was never "back", she just played weaker tournaments like Kuala Lumpur. Her losses at the start of the year (Babos, the Cornet thrashing, Zheng, Svitolina) are the losses she was having last year. Her game still looks rudimentary. When she plays top players like Aga or Bacsinszky (or #171-ranked qualifiers like Mertens, lol) it's barely competitive.

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Monday, 6 June 2016 15:22 (1 month ago) Permalink

I wonder if Jim Parsons is still returning her calls

STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Monday, 6 June 2016 15:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

Meanwhile Dimitrov loses to permanently-injured Delpo, extends losing streak to 5

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Tuesday, 7 June 2016 13:21 (1 month ago) Permalink

Delpo remodeling himself as a fast court player is kind of sad to see

groovemaaan, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 13:30 (1 month ago) Permalink

just great to see that he's playing at a decent level again, did not look likely a year ago

cerealbar, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 13:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

lol apparently Dimitrov lost 7 straight games after the DJ played "Don't Cha" during the changeover

groovemaaan, Tuesday, 7 June 2016 14:34 (1 month ago) Permalink

Watching Mladenovic win even as Sharapova gets two years feels v appropriate

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 15:18 (1 month ago) Permalink

damn 2 years for sharapova RIP

k3vin k., Wednesday, 8 June 2016 15:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

her "strategy" of trying to discredite the ITF is so weird and this new facebook post does not help her at all imho

groovemaaan, Wednesday, 8 June 2016 15:38 (1 month ago) Permalink

full document very interesting

especially her active concealment of using meldonium before it was banned

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 15:47 (1 month ago) Permalink

Unexpected meldonium effects (side effects) may include an irregular heartbeat, changes in blood pressure, irregular skin conditions, an allergic reaction, the inability to defeat Serena Williams and/or indigestion.

STOP KILLING ANIMALS, THEY'RE MINT (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 16:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

the original prescribing doctor having her on 30 supplements/medications as a like 18-19 yr old seems insane

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 8 June 2016 16:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

upping her dosage before "special matches" is eyebrow-raising

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 16:20 (1 month ago) Permalink

Federer struggling against Taylor Fritz on his comeback in Stuttgart. Mostly I'm just hoping I don't see "ret." appear in the live scores app.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 9 June 2016 11:57 (1 month ago) Permalink

I saw the last half of that, it's not as bad as it looks - typical servebotty grass scoreline and Fritz is very good. Federer made more errors when he was being straightforwardly aggressive from the baseline but tied Fritz up in knots a ton.

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Thursday, 9 June 2016 14:39 (1 month ago) Permalink

Ah, I'd forgotten that he'd reached the Memphis final. Yeah, he's going to be good (= Dimitrov-good or Thiem-good, it remains to be seen).

Has Fed entered Halle too?

Michael Jones, Thursday, 9 June 2016 14:44 (1 month ago) Permalink

I assume so...

I rate Thiem higher than Dimitrov but he definitely hasn't proven he's going to be better yet. Fritz's career trajectory has been more meteoric than either, he was outside the top 1000 this time last year. I'm not really a fan of his game, albeit it's a new spin on the typical US serve-plus-FH style in that he has a huge BH as well. He'll be a new Raonic at the very least but I'd guess much more.

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Thursday, 9 June 2016 15:00 (1 month ago) Permalink

quality drama from the bottom rung of pro tennis

the hallouminati (lex pretend), Friday, 17 June 2016 14:32 (1 month ago) Permalink


johnny crunch, Sunday, 19 June 2016 15:07 (1 month ago) Permalink

so happy for him, what a great player to watch. made zverev look pedestrian

groovemaaan, Sunday, 19 June 2016 15:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

watching don young v stevie johnson @ newport, odd to see 2 strict baseliners play here

dy changed racquets, lost a return game at love and immed changed back lol

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 July 2016 17:54 (1 week ago) Permalink

vika's preggers!

cerealbar, Friday, 15 July 2016 18:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

Whoever delivers the baby knows what they're in for, I suppose.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Saturday, 16 July 2016 01:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

fed, nadal & murray all out of rogers cup :(

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 20 July 2016 12:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

karlovic is not as boring as your standard servebot to watch rn imo
his volleys are so good and if he gets clean forehands they are also so monstrous its insane

johnny crunch, Saturday, 23 July 2016 18:48 (5 days ago) Permalink

ivo hasnt been broken in 60 straight service games

johnny crunch, Saturday, 23 July 2016 19:33 (5 days ago) Permalink

he's retweeting E40 and Snoop about police brutalities

also, isn't it cool that he's playing one of his best seasons at 37! :-)

Ludo, Saturday, 23 July 2016 19:51 (5 days ago) Permalink

agree i like him

johnny crunch, Saturday, 23 July 2016 20:00 (5 days ago) Permalink

shapovalovs game looks p good

johnny crunch, Monday, 25 July 2016 23:42 (3 days ago) Permalink

granted kyrgios is fucking around somewhat and the 17 yr old looks to be giving max effort

johnny crunch, Monday, 25 July 2016 23:43 (3 days ago) Permalink

will be a great w for the kid, shameful loss for nick

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 00:45 (2 days ago) Permalink

he looks kinda like a hockey player, will be adored in canada

could def beat dimitrov nxt rd

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 00:52 (2 days ago) Permalink

cackled out loud when I saw the Shapovalov result. I've seen bits of his junior matches and was def impressed then.

Azarenka news really was a bombshell. does she think she can pull a Clijsters?

lex pretend, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 13:21 (2 days ago) Permalink

wow novak is playing doubles today, prob prep for rio I guess

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 15:59 (2 days ago) Permalink

lol that they bumped novak in singles from Wednesday night to Wednesday day to play shapovalov wed night

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 26 July 2016 17:33 (2 days ago) Permalink

so fed out for the year :(

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 12:11 (Yesterday) Permalink

im hitting up rogers cup tmorrow, hyped for sock v stan

johnny crunch, Thursday, 28 July 2016 03:48 (10 hours ago) Permalink

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