ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

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1st titles of 2008, for reference:

WTA Gold Coast: LI Na d. Victoria AZARENKA 4-6 6-3 6-4
WTA Auckland: Lindsay DAVENPORT d. Aravane REZAÏ 6-2 6-2

ATP Doha: Andy MURRAY d. Stanislas Wawrinka 6-4 4-6 6-2
ATP Adelaide: Michaël LLODRA d. Jarkko NIEMINEN 6-3 6-4
ATP Chennai: Mikhail YOUZHNY d. Rafael NADAL 6-0 6-1

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

go davenport!!

Surmounter, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 16:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

Week 2/2008, with all eyes on the AO anyway:

WTA Sydney: Justine HENIN d. Svetlana KUZNETSOVA 4-6 6-2 6-4
WTA Hobart: Eleni DANIILIDOU walk-over vs Vera ZVONAREVA

ATP Sydney: Dmitry TURSUNOV d. Chris GUCCIONE 7-6(3) 7-6(4)
ATP Auckland: Philipp KOHLSCHREIBER d. Juan Carlos FERRERO 7-6(4) 7-5

anatol_merklich, Monday, 14 January 2008 07:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Watching Sharapova vs Obziler in the Israel-Russia Fed Cup tie now, and wow is the crowd noisy! Rapturous cheering on every serve fault by Maria, tauntingly SCREAMING along with her on every shot etc. Umpire totally unable to silence them haha!

anatol_merklich, Saturday, 2 February 2008 12:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

fuck what channel? we need to sign up for the tennis channle, i can't be missing stuff like this

Surmounter, Sunday, 3 February 2008 02:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

I just go to myp2p.eu and check whether anything is available ("Live Sports" tab -> "Tennis" button). Note: playing stuff may in general entail installing various Chinese tv apps (sopcast, tvants, uusee...). That particular tie, however, is on some Israeli sports station showing through Windows Media Player or I guess any other .wmv-showing app.

anatol_merklich, Sunday, 3 February 2008 10:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

How useful it is if you're not using Windows I've no idea. Also, quality unsurprisingly varies wildly; this Israeli broadcast is pretty decent.

Pe'er was double-breadsticked by the Shazbot right now, making it 2-1 to Russia. Elsewhere, France vs China will be decided by the doubles.

anatol_merklich, Sunday, 3 February 2008 10:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Murray knocks out Federer in the first round of the Dubai tournament.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/7274636.stm

nice one you unpatriotic little shit.

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 17:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

he was wearing a saltire cap when he was playing, which doesn't seem desperately unpatriotic to me.

ailsa, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

Federer was too busy not thinking about yesterday

Matt, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

i was only referring to his disinclination to play davis cup.
and i was kidding about that anyway - i care no more about it than he does.

still, 'unpatriotic' was probably a poor choice of word. well done young man!

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

It was more the "little shit" that you coupled it with, to be fair.

Anyway, yes, two out of three won against Federer now.

ailsa, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

God knows why he'd want to play the Davis Cup. Who else is going to be on the team? I wouldn't want to be winning matches and carrying a team full of useless people in a tournament that has long since lost its cachet and relevance except in the eyes of really, really old tennis commentators.

edwardo, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

x-post take umbrage wherever you like it was all meant in jest, apart from the congratulatory bit. internet does not do deadpan.

But I genuinely like Murray. I also agree with the above post. I can't be arsed to even watch Davis Cup so I can't blame him if he's rather not play in it.

Upt0eleven, Monday, 3 March 2008 22:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

5 months pass...

Andy Murray wins something

Herman G. Neuname, Sunday, 3 August 2008 21:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

He has won about 4-5 career titles before...but yes, its his biggest win

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 3 August 2008 21:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

this is his third title of 2008 alone. by far the biggest though! wish i could've seen it, sounds like a fantastic match, and it's good to see him encroaching on THE TRIVALRY even if i do like nole more (lol the way fed's playing, nadal/djokovic/murray is the real trivalry).

on the WTA, dinara safina has won two big titles in a row! she is the only woman out there who is stepping up to fill the void at the top. jankovic is going to be world no 1 next week, that is embarrassing. the WTA is probably in the worst shape i've ever witnessed.

lex pretend, Sunday, 3 August 2008 22:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

also i didn't know this thread existed!

lex pretend, Sunday, 3 August 2008 22:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Oh I know he's won stuff before but not a big tourney. It was a good match. He looks so much fitter and stronger than he was a year or 2 ago.

Herman G. Neuname, Sunday, 3 August 2008 23:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

Nadal will be #1 on 18/8. Can't quite believe Fed's slump post-SW19; loss to Simon, near-loss to Ginepri, loss to Karlovic. Thought he might have at least made a fight of the #1 ranking (his form was fine for 18 of 19 matches in Paris, Halle and London); I had this romantic notion of the baton being passed as Fed beat Nadal at Flushing Meadow (Nadal's points surge taking him past the repeating champ despite the loss). Fed will be lucky to get out of the sixteens in NYC. Does Beijing have any ranking points?

Michael Jones, Monday, 4 August 2008 00:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah, it does. i think a few less than a masters event for the dudes, a few more than a tier ii for the chicas.

GOD that feels ridiculous looking at it! thinking about how much the olympics mean to, like, track&fielders and rowers and the like, and in tennis it's like...a TIER II.

anyway in other news, THIS is the 15-year-old saviour of the WTA who in the past month has taken sets from both serena and sweta, michelle larcher de brito: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kxaLo1riGo&feature=related

she makes sharapova sound like a trappist. seriously i can't believe she hasn't been asked to stop that bullshit yet, or like MURDERED ON COURT by a deafened opponent. that's not a grunt, that's a scream with a sustain pedal on. i'm not sure i'm going to be able to actually watch any of her matches.

oh and in other news silliams has pissed on her phone at the beach: http://serenawilliams.com/home/
sometimes you just long for the days before celebrities discovered how to work the internet themselves :(

(also note "enuf boring stuff" LIKE TENNIS)

lex pretend, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

you know, i used to watch all the nonslams cuz my stepdad taped them. then i didn't speak to him anymore. i wish i knew when they were on -- i think i'm gonna have to get on top of that!

Surmounter, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

they're on every week! televised or not is another qn

lex pretend, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

exactly, that's the thing.

Surmounter, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 20:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

10 months pass...

Blake was asked about the partisan crowd before today's final and reminded everyone he's half English :)

BBC giving it "Blake is just happy to be here" bollocks - dude isn't here to make the numbers up. I think I'll be pro-Blake today, as he does things like this

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 13:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

Well done Andy!

ailsa, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

Bit of a dull game lit up by a few stunning forehands. Shoddy line calls all day, none of which helped Blake. Well done to Murray on being the first Brit in yonks to win Queen's, which I'm sure won't lead to even more Wimbledon hype.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

I predict Murray will cave under the pressure and be out by round 3.

ailsa, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

he doesn't seem to be the sort to cave under pressure. but a friendly first-week draw would certainly be nice...

didn't watch the Queen's, but watched the Edgbaston SFs (Li d. Sharapova and Rybarikova d. Mirza) and a bit of the final today - Magdalena Rybarikova is a real discovery, such a classic grass-court game! Slices and volleys and good serving! she looks weirdly like Samantha Morton, too. i remember seeing a photo of her from her junior days when she lost some random final - she was posing w/the trophy and seriously looked like she was about to go bowling for columbine. so it was lucky for Edgbaston that she won today!

Haas beat Djokovic in the Halle final this week too.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

in other news, larcher de screamo gets a wildcard to wimbledon. FUN.

Roz, Sunday, 14 June 2009 15:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

The weird transatlantification of Murray's pan loaf accent has meant I can't actually hear what he's saying - it's just a series of droning noises that makes my ears stop working.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

pan loaf accent

is that how you talk with your mouth full of bread?

Beth Parker, Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_loaf

It was once more expensive and regarded as more fashionable than the then more common plain loaf. Hence, to speak with a pan loafy voice is to speak in a posh or affected manner.

SB "A Good Story" (onimo), Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:19 (5 years ago) Permalink

How on earth does Murray speak with an affected accent?! He just mumbles.

I found that picture of Rybarikova looking like she's ready to go bowling for Columbine after losing the Wimbledon juniors final!

Fortunately today was more to her liking.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 16:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

Haas beat Djokovic in the Halle final this week too.

!!! interesting result for sure. fed dropped out?

Lamp, Sunday, 14 June 2009 17:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

yeah...Djokovic was lucky to be in the final at all, he had to come back from 5-7, 2-5 down and save 5 match points against Florent Serra (!) in the 2nd round.

lex pretend, Sunday, 14 June 2009 17:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

waht

French tennis player banned for betting found dead

Natural causes apparently.

RIP Mathieu

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 15:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

Fuckin' hell. (Though my initial shock was because I thought you meant Paul-Henri Mathieu...)

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 16:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh right, sorry! To avoid confusion to others: it's Mathieu Montcourt.

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 16:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

The Lex's favourite choker, Richard Gasquet avoids getting suspended after testing positive for coke.

The full findings are here (pdf): pretty lol-worthy just for the kissing descriptions and finding out that he was allegedly "contaminated" at a Bob Sinclar event.

Roz, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 20:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

hingis should've found a french waiter of her own to blame. or maybe just one of the 9494439 atp players she'd slept with.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 20:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

her ban ends in january right? think she'll come back?

Roz, Wednesday, 15 July 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

wtf federer?! 5-2 up in the final set, somehow fails to serve it out twice and then DFs on match point in the tie-break to give Tsonga the win.

all credit to Jo-W for stepping it up right at the end, but still... that was some breakdown.

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

5-1 up in the third! :o

at the same time I was watching Flavia Pennetta try to choke away her match - she beat Venus in the last round, and winning this would mean a top 10 debut. 6 match points came and went, double faults on at least two of them, but her opponent was Hantuchova so it was OK in the end.

btw, Serena's post-Wimbledon record = QF loss in Stanford to Stosur and 3R loss in Cincinnati to Bammer, who now owns a 2-0 record over her. The Real Number 1!

am endeavouring to pretend the horrific Clijsters comeback isn't happening. never liked her.

best recent press conference = Marat defending baby sis by telling the press to "go fuck themselves" <3

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

obv didn't see the Fed match but am guessing that J-W just started going even more for broke than usual when down 1-5, and everything began going in.

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:33 (5 years ago) Permalink

yep and suddenly firing aces as well when he hadn't been able to get a good first serve in since like the end of the first set. meanwhile fed's serve just went to pieces after that.

also yay dinara fighting back a break in both sets to beat kimmy. would've hated it if she lost this one.

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

best recent press conference = Marat defending baby sis by telling the press to "go fuck themselves" <3

this whole presser was fucking classic.

Q. Now that you stopped, what about coaching her?

MARAT SAFIN: Oh, you want me to hang myself? (laughter.)

Roz, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.asapsports.com/show_interview.php?id=58340

<3 <3 <3

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:43 (5 years ago) Permalink

Wow, Pennetta will be Italy's FIRST EVER top 10 woman! Both Schiavone and, before her, Farina Elia peaked at 11.

lex pretend, Friday, 14 August 2009 21:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

Meanwhile, Andy Murray becomes the first man not named Roger or Rafa to hold a spot in the top two since forever. More importantly, Del Potro beat Roddick.

Michael Jones, Sunday, 16 August 2009 09:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

Terrible set finally ends thanks to Sharapova's ninth DF.

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 12:57 (Yesterday) Permalink

Ma$ha is still beating Petra 6-4 in the third as usual.

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 12:58 (Yesterday) Permalink

And yeah, that set went from being OK to horrifying so gradually I barely noticed.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 13:04 (Yesterday) Permalink

Oh dear, Sharapova shot lands way out, linesperson fucks up, Woz has no challenges.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:06 (Yesterday) Permalink

That is why you don't piss away all your challenges out of desperation Karolina

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:08 (Yesterday) Permalink

This set is possibly even worse than the first... but the drama. Lights going on unpredictably, Woz arguing pathetically with Asderaki, the double faults, Queen of Moonballs failing to get the ball over the net half the time, peak comedy.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:08 (Yesterday) Permalink

No way did Woz mean to hit that FH like that.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:08 (Yesterday) Permalink

PEAK WALLNIACKI

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:08 (Yesterday) Permalink

Fuck though, Kvitova was already supposed to be like 6-1 4-0 up by now.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:11 (Yesterday) Permalink

FH slice from Sharapova, is her last name Niculescu?

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:12 (Yesterday) Permalink

Sharapova grinds out three tough points to go 3-0 up, then loses the next three in about 15 seconds (one a DF obv)

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:14 (Yesterday) Permalink

FUCK YOU LADIES I HAVE TO BE UP FOR WORK AND YOU ARE DENYING ME PETRA TIME

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:19 (Yesterday) Permalink

All for these two killing themselves with a 3hr match if it benefits Petra/Aga

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:38 (Yesterday) Permalink

Wozniacki slaying Ma$ha at a Slam and the YEC :)

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 14:56 (Yesterday) Permalink

Sharapova: 43 winners, 76 UEs
Wozniacki: 14 winners, 35 UEs

Sharapova hit more DFs (15) than Wozniacki hit winners

lex pretend, Tuesday, 21 October 2014 15:24 (Yesterday) Permalink

Halep 4-0 up over Serena in 12 mins :o

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:26 (5 hours ago) Permalink

Eighth time in her career that Serena's been bagelled :o

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:36 (5 hours ago) Permalink

Some of the sounds coming out of Serena...

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:45 (5 hours ago) Permalink

tho i'm more concerned about the loopy groundstrokes and poor serving

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:48 (5 hours ago) Permalink

Serena finally wins a game thanks to Halep FH errors. Serena has improved in this set to the extent that she can keep the ball in court during rallies, but the serving, oof. 7 DFs so far

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:51 (5 hours ago) Permalink

"Peaking" at the YEC when everyone else is banged up or braindead, just call her Sim Clijsters

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:53 (5 hours ago) Permalink

That (excellent) point had Turning Point written all over it

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:55 (5 hours ago) Permalink

Such an important hold for Halep, that, and I liked the way she did it. Serena's not missing on her groundies any more, so she needed big serves and aggressive play

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 08:59 (4 hours ago) Permalink

this is exciting

groovemaaan, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:03 (4 hours ago) Permalink

Serena's current strategy seems to be to win this by defending...

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:08 (4 hours ago) Permalink

Halep 6-0 5-1. Lots of tight games in this set but Halep's upped her level in all of them.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:10 (4 hours ago) Permalink

simona should really win a slam next year

groovemaaan, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:10 (4 hours ago) Permalink

Glad Halep could close that out. If that had been 10 years ago and it had been, I don't know, say, someone like Hantuchova...

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:20 (4 hours ago) Permalink

60 62. One of the most one-sided defeats of Serena's career, if not THE most.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:21 (4 hours ago) Permalink

An entire career history of Serena receiving bagels:

Q1 Indian Wells 1997, l. Alexia Dechaume-Balleret 46 06
3R Roland Garros 1999, l. Mary Joe Fernandez 36 61 06
SF Dubai 2005, l. Jelena Jankovic 06 34 ret.
F Miami 2007, d. Justine Henin 06 75 63
1R Zurich 2007, l. Patty Schnyder 06 03 ret.
RR Doha YEC 2008, l. Venus Williams 75 16 06
QF Madrid 2013, d. Anabel Medina Garrigues 63 06 75
RR Singapore YEC 2014, l. Simona Halep 06 26

So, in two of those she retired, two of those she won anyway, one was when she was a foetus and the other two full losses went to three. This is the first time Serena has been bagelled and lost in straight sets since the second match of her career.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:24 (4 hours ago) Permalink

cool

cerealbar, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:25 (4 hours ago) Permalink

per Twitter, the last time she won this few games in a completed match was in the Oklahoma City 1998 QFs, when she lost 16 16 to Joannette Kruger

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:27 (4 hours ago) Permalink

I hope Joanette Kruger has had a long and successful coaching career off the back of that.

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:42 (4 hours ago) Permalink

I'm going to be so pressed if Serena loses like that to Bouchard.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:46 (4 hours ago) Permalink

Dechaume-Balleret parlayed it into a Fed Cup captaincy!

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:46 (4 hours ago) Permalink

xp won't it be hilarious if Serena turns round and beats Bouchard 3 and 2 anyway

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 09:46 (4 hours ago) Permalink

Nice of Novak to name his baby after his rival's coach, what. (In all seriousness, it is a reasonable and tasteful name, so well done Novak and Jelena.)

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 11:18 (2 hours ago) Permalink

Got to improve your volleying if you're naming your kid Stefan, come on.

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 11:21 (2 hours ago) Permalink

Let's hope the kid has a better overhead, anyway.

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 11:40 (2 hours ago) Permalink

Ivanovic mauling Bouchard, but can't get the bagel. Oh well.

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 12:12 (1 hour ago) Permalink

lmao @ Bouchard dragging Ivanovic into a grinding BH-to-BH rally and still flopping first

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 12:24 (1 hour ago) Permalink

Bouchard's lack of touch is just...that "volley", jeez

lex pretend, Wednesday, 22 October 2014 12:37 (1 hour ago) Permalink


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