Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

I'm having trouble figuring out what is going on in this one. Why is he standing out in front of the two lawyers? Is he being sentenced? But don't defendants stand back with their lawyers when the sentence comes down? And is one of the bailiffs supposed to be the one speaking?

I feel like my mom watching ANY movie in the theater. "Who is that? Why is everyone so angry with each other now?"

"This isn't the pool?"

CONTROVERSIAL MOD EDIT: This entry should now be "This isn't the jury pool?"

"Who is that? Why is everyone so angry with each other now?"

Is this an entry? Because I like it.

"Correct, Your Honor. Now, put your right hand out."

Judge Williams always came down harshly on those found guilty of Diving Under the Influence.

HI DERE on the right path, something about pooling the jury.

standard New Yorker entry: "Well, it's a funny story..."

If ILX is really going to win the New Yorker Caption Contest, we need to think more like the New Yorker. A lot of people's submitted captions are funny, but they're not constructed in the pithy, slightly groan-inducing style that the magazine favors. Ideally, we also need to write more captions that mildly satirize the ruling class and/or the contemporary work-a-day world.

A kind of comment on contemporary mores?

sorry i can only do embarrassing puns

"No your honour, they're Speedos! The 'S' fell off!"

"I think I misunderstood the meaning of carpool."

"Flight risk, you said. My conscience is clear."

― W i l l

A+

jaymc OTM

puns don't really do it

Alba, more of a comment on contemporary foibles of the upper-middle class I'd say

Although this one may be an exception

Yeah, my comment was more of a general thing, not about this cartoon specifically.

the dudes are wearing badges so I don't think they are lawyers fwiw

"In my defence, Your Honor, even you have to admit the phrase "secretarial pool" can be misleading."

"I've been dressing this way since my business went under."

Hi DERE that's pretty good

"How else are you supposed to dress for air travel these days?"

"In this economy??"

^^^doesnt actually make sense but i might submit it for every cartoon until it does

The new Law Degree from the Marine Institute just wasn't working out in practice.

Whaddaya mean not dressed for the occasion? We're in FLORIDA

"OK, I admit: I was paid to take a dive!"

(groany enuff for yiz?)

HI DERE why 'secretarial pool' rather than 'jury pool'?

scroll up, I used that one already

took me a long time to get that Speedo gag; we don't use "pedo" in america as slang

"I plead insanity. I went off the deep end."

Because "secretarial pool" implies he was caught snorkeling in a tub of secretaries

Because "secretarial pool" is actually the name of his dog.

"I was told the legal profession was full of 'sharks'. WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!"

"You watch your back, Jerry! This game of Marco Polo isn't over!"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"Before you read the sentence, Your Honor, I want to say again that everything I did was dolphin-safe."

But HI DERE's is funnier (though "defense" should be spelled the American way for submission)

I think Dan's idea is good but the phrasing needs to be more concise if possible, if you really want to maximize your chances.

picture Can't think of a caption but puts me in mind of the judge quote from Withnail and I.

"I've been dressing this way since my business went under."

This seems exactly the kind of thing jaymc was talking about.

from "Holy shit, the caption bank of attempted winners for past cartoons is a goldmine!":

"If no one laughs, do I get waterboarded?"

why the hell did I spell "defense" like that

"As the sixth amendment plainly states your honor, 'In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedo and public trial'"

think my reign of terror is probably over. am struggling with this week's.

i think not. that's some next level gentle punning.

i feel like these pictures aren't that funny to begin with

"In his defense, that was the biggest ladies'-room toilet I've ever seen."

yeah berto thats the best yet on this thread, kiu

haha this is to obscure to be useful, but:

"So we promptly identified ourselves as Olice..."

"If the snorkel doesn't fit, you must acquit"

(sorry, s/b "olice officers")