Artist-specific music jokes

B'dum Tish.

A friend of mine had this variant back in the day: Paul McCartney went down on one knee this week. Or, as the rest of us know her, ...

Gee, you knit?

"Me best leather waistcoat!" howls Adam Clayton, "The Edge you're more beast than man!"

Haha, that's great. We need more of this fake U2 dialogue.

I love how Bono actually does refer to The Edge as "The Edge" instead of just "Edge" in conversation, as in, "What are ye doing over there with that guitar, The Edge?"

both suck without cream.

Jerry smiles serenely and says "Give me a guitar, so I can play 'Truckin'' one last time!"

The elder nods his agreement and then turns to Eric. "And you, what is your request?"

Eric grimaces and says "Kill me before he plays that f#*&ing song!"

Cause there are twenty of them.

cause there are 60 of her

He looks up to see a beautiful young woman peering down at him. "Yes," he says, "I am Thom from Radiohead. Who might you be?"

Before she can answer, the young woman morphs into 50 Cent, and he starts performing a club-friendly song from his latest collection of commercial rap crossovers.

Who are Hansel and Gretel's favourite band?

And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Bread

Earth, Wind, and Youre Fired!

-- rentboy (rentboyd...), September 29th, 2004.

That reminds me, I read in some music publication (perhaps even via ILM) that Stevie Wonder likes to do a little party trick where he'll have someone tell him about a particular party guest's outfit and then he'll go over to the person and compliment them on how great it looks on them.

Q: What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
A: "Excuse me, but you're in my son."

Q: What's the difference between Dashboard Confessional and the Donnas?
A: One is for fat chicks and the other is four fat chicks.

*Ducks*

You hear they made a Jeff Buckly documentary? It's called Finding Nemo.

Q: Why did the music critic write mean spiteful jokes on the internet about famous people he's never met.
A: Because he has crushingly low self-esteem and has to ridicule other people to validate himself and give himself the illusion of control.

A: Endless Love

For some reason when I imagine "you're totally hired" in a Mark E. Smith voice, it comes out in the voice of Snake from the Simpsons.

(I went through a period of a week or so where I thought jokes about the Doors not having a bassist were hilarious. Don't ask.)

A. They both come on small crackers.

Q: What do vegetarian worms eat?

A: Linda McCartney.

What major top selling pop group masturbates together just before going on stage, ejaculating at precisely the same moment on a towel supplied by their management?

'NSync

Why did the Red Hot Chilli Peppers cross the road?

They were running away from the rehab clinic.

Why do the Red Hot Chilli Peppers wear socks on their cocks?

Because they've lost all bladder control.

q. what's brown and rhymes with snoop?

a. dr. dre

lulz

Some 1978 zine said this joke was making the rounds in NYC punk dives:

What has ten legs and kills its girlfriend?
Squid Vicious.

more neil hamburger barbs:

what do you call a senior citizen who can't refrain from showing her genitalia in public?
madonna.

what's the difference between courtney love and the american flag?
it'd be wrong to urinate on the american flag.

more Hamburger

What's Elton John and a Sabre Toothed Tiger got in common

Hell Knows but I would'nt let either of them near my ass

I heard that Dr. Dre one recently.

F3rg's Sparks joke still wins thread as far as I'm concerned (followed closely by "Endless Love"). Got a big old guffaw outta me, that's for sure.

Your favourite jokes about David Guetta

Q: what did the deadheads say when they ran out of drugs?
A: god, this band sucks.

Q: What did the Star Wars droid change his name to when he joined the New York No Wave scene?

A: R2 Lindsay!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a rapper who's been ritually slaughtered and bled?

Halal Cool J!

Have you heard about that white rapper with the sinus infection?

His names Ebideb.