har har har har har
;)
OK back to serious entries.
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:09 (4 years ago) Permalink
Haw I had this same thread idea but didn't start it; I'm not so much into "serious" entries though.
― congratulations (n/a), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:19 (4 years ago) Permalink
As soon as I posted "back to serious entries" I felt like a giant tool, and then as I went back to throw a winky guy into the mix my internet connection died out.
So, belatedly,
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:41 (4 years ago) Permalink
"What I don't understand is why they're speaking German."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:42 (4 years ago) Permalink
"What troubles me is that they're speaking German."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:43 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Apparently, they think we're some sort of gods."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:48 (4 years ago) Permalink
Wow. That note about the "not the funniest one" was really OTM - I just looked at the previous 25 contests' top results :-/(exception: the first two of this one were LOLworthy: http://contest.newyorker.com/CaptionContest.aspx?id=189 )
― StanM, Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:49 (4 years ago) Permalink
Christ, what an asshole.
― Telephone thing, Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:51 (4 years ago) Permalink
"What arouses me is that they're speaking German."
― ❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉Plaxico❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉ (I know, right?), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:51 (4 years ago) Permalink
Any more entries? I figure we'll collect them until Thursday night, and then have a quick 2 day poll on Friday and Saturday to select the winner, and then I'll submit it on the Sunday deadline.
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:36 (4 years ago) Permalink
"If you didn't spend all your time watching mice, I wouldn't have to be fucking your wife."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:41 (4 years ago) Permalink
"This seems to answer the nature vs. nurture question pretty decisively."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:42 (4 years ago) Permalink
Wait wait"If you didn't spend all your time here, Williams, I wouldn't have to be fucking your wife."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:45 (4 years ago) Permalink
(Larry Flynt needs to start a caption contest.)
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:46 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:47 (4 years ago) Permalink
"They look more like her but they take after me."
― special guest appearance (Roberto Spiralli), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:54 (4 years ago) Permalink
^^^ grebt
would never win though
― Aimless, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:02 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I call the big one 'bitey'."
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:17 (4 years ago) Permalink
I entered the PETA one on my own, so you can leave that one out.
My wife did one for this one:
"Ok...I'll put down "Claws". And what you describe as your greatest weakness?"
― schwantz, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:27 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I'll wring your neck if one of these bastards publishes before I do"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:33 (4 years ago) Permalink
^^^hahaha xp
― autogucci cru (deej), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:34 (4 years ago) Permalink
lol!
xpost to "claws"
― collardio greenous (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:36 (4 years ago) Permalink
schwantzs wifes one is hilarious
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:40 (4 years ago) Permalink
― special guest appearance (Roberto Spiralli), Wednesday, June 10, 2009 1:54 PM (46 minutes ago)
this is genius and will get my vote
― collardio greenous (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:42 (4 years ago) Permalink
^^^
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:46 (4 years ago) Permalink
also massive lolz at "claws"
(btw, I am very mad that "LET'S START IT OFF WITH A BRIEF REVIEW OF YOUR LOCAL MIDLIFE CRISIS. WE'LL THEN DISCUSS THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS." is too long to be a screen name)
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:47 (4 years ago) Permalink
(anyway back to the picture)
"Okay, NOW they're just mocking us."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:50 (4 years ago) Permalink
"And the best part is, we pay them in cheese."
― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:53 (4 years ago) Permalink
"this acid is strong"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:57 (4 years ago) Permalink
^ works for 99% of all new yorker cartoons
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:58 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I'm not sure their hearts are really in this better-mousetrap project."
― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:13 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I know they have a grant, but do we really need more ways to skin a cat?"
"I was expecting Soulja Boy to have a different effect on them."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:16 (4 years ago) Permalink
I always wondered how many people entered. Sometimes the finalists are so weak I assumed like, 6 people entered. My god some of those submissions are not funny.
I mean the ones copied above, not the ones currently being submitted by ILXors. Those are all comedy gold.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:17 (4 years ago) Permalink
I like fork's "I think it's meant to be the one on the right's retirement party."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:17 (4 years ago) Permalink
"The one in glasses is not 'the cute one'."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:21 (4 years ago) Permalink
"auto-tune is dead"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:22 (4 years ago) Permalink
I wonder how many times we'll have to do this until we get an ILX winner?My money is over five, under twenty.
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:45 (4 years ago) Permalink
We should enter as Isaac L. Xevious
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:47 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I see your mice have little clothes."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:49 (4 years ago) Permalink
"These mice are different from the mice behind us; these mice have facial features."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:50 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Are mice very much like people?"
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:51 (4 years ago) Permalink
"I am mildly disconcerted; apparently, I am carrying a water bottle."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:52 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Did you know? I can spit the words 'PAUL NOTH' across the room."
"I am looking at mice. You are looking at mice. They are also looking at mice."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:54 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Hmm, I'm not sure -- she's a little mousier than the last woman I dated."
― autogucci cru (deej), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:55 (4 years ago) Permalink
lolling at the paul noth one for some reason.
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:57 (4 years ago) Permalink
also "it's a reality show about my fantasies" has win potential
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 23:00 (4 years ago) Permalink
"Try paying attention to the speed limit. It's not like it's rocket science."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:48 (2 days ago) Permalink
Driver: "So what? My dick is harder than Chinese arithmetic."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:49 (2 days ago) Permalink
"You can't miss it."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:51 (2 days ago) Permalink
Stephen Hawking hired to write 'CHiPs' reboot.
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:52 (2 days ago) Permalink
"The cartoonist can't tell The Simpsons from Simpson's Rule."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:54 (2 days ago) Permalink
"You can reduce pollution if you get a tailpipe shaped like Gabriel's Trumpet."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 09:56 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Welcome to Yellowstone National Park, but remember, only YOU can prevent dividing by zero!"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:00 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Yeah, we used to get people to walk in a straight line to test if they were drunk, but we switched it up to Intermediate Calculus."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:02 (2 days ago) Permalink
"If you want signs showing the speed limit in Arabic numerals, then why don't you just go and live in the Middle East?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:05 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Welcome to the Blackboard Jungle. Drive carefully."
Cop: "Who do you think you are, Einstein?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:06 (2 days ago) Permalink
"We tried having roadsigns labelled in binary, but this way is less confusing."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:09 (2 days ago) Permalink
"The government decided that the driving test was too easy, so they added the requirement that candidates have to solve the n-body problem."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:11 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Is that the new model Ford you're driving?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:12 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Hey! I didn't make the laws of Thermodynamic Fusion, Buddy!"
― Mark G, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:13 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Turns out that I should just think of you as a number instead of a person."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:15 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Well if you had a Google self driving car, you wouldn't have problems with roadsigns."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:16 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Don't try and be smart with me."
"...and once you've figured out this equation, I've got a real test for you. Try figuring out the cartoonist's name from their signature."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:19 (2 days ago) Permalink
"OK, now do you know how fast you were going?"
― Plasmon, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 10:31 (2 days ago) Permalink
a+
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 12:28 (2 days ago) Permalink
Policing by numbers
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 12:38 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
― Poliopolice, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 14:50 (2 days ago) Permalink
oops, that was already done
capt obv: "Can't you read the sign?"
― i didn't even give much of a fuck that you were mod (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:14 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Before you go, I have just one more question"
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:18 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Don't play dumb with me!"
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:21 (2 days ago) Permalink
"You're not from around here, are you?"
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:22 (2 days ago) Permalink
"We figured education was the answer to our graffiti problem, but...."
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:26 (2 days ago) Permalink
"Look buddy, we can work this out right here or we can go back to the station where the blackboard is bigger and the teachers aren't so nice..."
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:28 (2 days ago) Permalink
Nice, esp "don't play dumb".
― Plasmon, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 16:49 (2 days ago) Permalink