God bless the goddamn Onion

https://www.theonion.com/immigrant-child-still-hoping-to-achieve-american-dream-1826839711?rev=1529004587757&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_content=Main

"Everyone in pride parade straight"
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--N7licUa4--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/ksbxzmd1di9mftehkcuy.jpg

still exhausting: the cycle of a media site getting acquired/starts a hiring spree, inevitably meaning a two-year countdown until people lose their jobs

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-onion-clickhole-av-club-brace-for-layoffs

Peter Strzok Summoned Before Congress Again For Texts Calling Trey Gowdy ‘A Pissy Little Shithead’

There are dozens more messages just like this, calling our distinguished colleague a ‘pointless fuckwad’ and a ‘moronic scumbag’ that I would like submitted for the record.”

Have we talked about how Morrissey and Onion film critic Peter Rosenthal are slowly becoming the same person?

The Rosenthal videos are fantastic

yes thy are so classic.

this is great too:

The Onion's Future News From The Year 2137

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKC21wDarBo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFABajBNDJg

so good

https://local.theonion.com/local-dipshit-planning-on-fighting-trump-administration-1819580140

lol I have actually seen quite a bit of this on local press

earnest btu futile

Morbs knows all about the pleasures of futility

as useless as tweeting against his giant wall of angry anti-tweets he will obviously never read

I still fall back on this one. There are at least a couple people I know who sound just like this. https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/excuse-me-mr-trump-sir-but-respectfully-dr-trump-1825886973

People who talk like that probably un-ironically read "X absolutely DESTROYS Trump in scathing twitter takedown" style clickbait

they follow "Occupy Democrats" or w/e on facebook and unironically repost the images

the US equivalent of The Canary!

The Canary has also been criticised by some political pundits on the left, such as Owen Jones, who told PR Week that the website "really promotes conspiracy theories and a lot of things that just aren't right. I worry about the Canary-isation of the left, where it ends up in a bizarre sub-culture that anyone who doesn't agree is seen as part of a conspiracy. But then you do get those blogs on left and right."

haha omg it really is

if you posted that to the OD group they'd ask if Owen Jones was russian

This headline made me laugh pretty hard:

Biblical Scholars Find Evidence Church Covered Up For 3 Wise Men Who Molested Baby Jesus

Enjoying medieval onion and clickhole today

https://www.theonion.com/hotshot-peasant-has-window-1828356941
https://www.clickhole.com/6-ways-to-avoid-the-bubonic-plague-this-fall-1828143388

"It's right there in the Book of Leviticus."

https://local.theonion.com/christian-pornographer-refuses-to-film-sex-tape-for-gay-1828084176

https://politics.theonion.com/trump-disapproval-rating-reaches-all-time-none-of-this-1828751716

https://politics.theonion.com/chuck-schumer-relieved-he-s-never-taken-stance-meaningf-1829972180

Their coverage of the domestic terrorism stuff this past week has been of a high standard generally

https://politics.theonion.com/trump-slams-worldwide-jewish-conspiracy-for-not-doing-m-1830077401

https://www.theonion.com/fox-friends-denounces-bombing-suspect-as-overenthus-1830074653

Oh and

https://politics.theonion.com/man-just-knows-hillary-clinton-going-to-have-opinion-on-1829977759

https://local.theonion.com/pretentious-woman-refers-to-slam-piece-as-partner-1831803116

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M4HNvkPtlg

"...a film that bravely explores the theme of mental health in affluent Asian communities"

Liberal Feels Like Idiot For Placing Entirety Of Hopes On Mueller Probe Instead Of New York Prosecutors’ Investigation https://t.co/ZlzzG7LLF9 pic.twitter.com/ry3ClO8dFz

— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 26, 2019

Tucker Carlson Challenges Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To A Date

Abused 12-Year-Old Alabama Girl Doesn’t Think She Can Handle Being A Mom On Top Of Everything Else

I was just coming to post this.

Taylor Swift Inspires Teen To Come Out As Straight Woman Needing To Be At Center Of Gay Rights Narrative

Tucker Carlson Insists Every White Supremacist In America Could Fit In Stadium But That Tickets To TuckerCon Won’t Last https://t.co/mGwgJpOeRU pic.twitter.com/uepMRRyIab

— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 7, 2019

the onion has been churning out lots of really lazy and overly wordy headlines lately. it's like they got so used to people sharing unfunny stuff and saying "not the onion!!" that they just decided any old headline would work

Should really post this before anyone else does

https://local.theonion.com/music-buff-pissed-come-josephine-in-my-flying-machine-1839170604/

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TsslRWdgVTI

Miles is an idiot, the version by Billy Murray & Ada Jones is clearly superior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFZDB6DqAnA

lol I was thinking "it you" when I read that!

Would like to imagine it was, but Jonathan Bogart worked out the piece was researched here at his blog

https://justonesongmore.com/blog/1910

This means that the song he calls "crowd-pleasing crap" is Bert Williams!

https://politics.theonion.com/msnbc-poll-finds-support-for-bernie-sanders-has-plummet-1839538968

like i said...

https://entertainment.theonion.com/frozen-2-creators-confirm-that-elsa-gay-but-also-tran-1839981134

Unfunny

New Aetna Wedding Registry Lets Guests Purchase Medical Procedures Couple Picked Out https://t.co/PhJB5QWD8y pic.twitter.com/hAyfeCf1rh

— The Onion (@TheOnion) December 18, 2019

https://politics.theonion.com/trump-administration-rolls-back-hunting-regulations-for-1841839546

Is The Onion machine generating headlines or something now? They keep having weird grammatical errors (or typos)

Woman Adopts Second Cat For First One To Terrorize While She At Work https://t.co/R0nqjKufTH pic.twitter.com/496lxnB7Ig

— The Onion (@TheOnion) March 10, 2020

You mean the "she at work" bit? That's not an error, that's just cod headline-ese.

Not the Onion, but relevant.

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/93550462_3157763694256248_2744408931626385408_o.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=HNW9Zlq7JUEAX-Wf-zw&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-1.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=ee4e76a1efdbfe22d00d04b3c204ca03&oe=5EBA0599