the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

just edit the prequel trilogy to just the cutscenes and i think you'd have it.

"This is the story of Mace Windy, a revered Jedi-bendu of Ophuchi, as related to us by C.J. Thorpe, padawan learner to the famed Jedi."

Cool and evocative names, eh?

"ophuchi" sounds like something you'd hear this guy blabbering

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/56/Cornholion_in_Holy_Cornholio.jpg/250px-Cornholion_in_Holy_Cornholio.jpg

I assume it's a fuckup of Ophiuchi, an actual constellation

lol wins

padawan learner to the famed Jedi

this is a cool turn of phrase

just found out about this:

On the set of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Lucas shared his ideas with animation director Rob Coleman, when Coleman arrived for his first day. As Chris Taylor relates in his fantastic book How Star Wars Conquered the Universe, Lucas told Coleman “his ultimate framing device.” Taylor writes:

“The entire story of Star Wars is actually being recounted to the keeper of the Journal of the Whills—remember that?—a hundred years after the events of Return of the Jedi by none other than R2-D2.”

i do not remember that btw

lmao

r2d2 just beepin' and bloopin' for hours at a time to some low-level functionary who needs to keep stopping him because his wrist is getting tired from writing in the journal with a space fountain pen

Is r2d2 a reliable narrator? This now makes me suspicious of the endless # of scenes where r2d2 slides up and coolly saves the day while everyone else is panicking like idiots...

It would certainly explain the gratuitous number of hardcore droid-on-droid scenes so liberally sprinkled throughout the series.

lol journal of the whills only mentioned in a couple of novelizations

Only too late does the journal keeper realize R2 was Darth Sidious all along

https://media.giphy.com/media/Z8uqXqZaNT4n6/giphy.gif

Damn it, should have double-checked that gif

nah that gif seems v thread-appropriate tbh

That cup is where he keeps his whill

Not directly SW related but this is the most relevant thread I can find: The redlettermedia review of the latest Marvel movie calls Brie Larson a virtue-signalling, sexist, racist bitch for saying that most movie critics are white men. The critics of the Plinkett reviews were right -- they are awful people.

Not surprised.

Few phrases are as inadvertently self-descriptive as 'virtue-signalling' (see also: 'social justice warrior' as a pejorative). Like when you start to casually malign aspirational behavior I think you technically qualify for villain status.

I have zero reason to watch the narrative video version of clickbait that passes for commentary on youtube

a few years ago I watched a few short clips doing that sort of thing and it was entertaining as a one-off novelty but everything's gone down the path of "this movie is a failure because it has a political agenda" or "top ten plot holes!" where a plot hole is anything that has an implied offscreen action that wasn't spoon-fed to the viewers

I just saw a 'May the Fourth be With You' sign in the window of a funeral directors.

xp: it is the world's worst promotional tie-in product ever; a giant lollipop shaped like a tongue in a case shaped like Jar-Jar's head with a plunger on the back you have to push in to make it open, meaning that eating the lollipop requires french-kissing a Jar-Jar Binks toy

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:58 (eight years ago) bookmarkflaglink

I have a still-unopened one of these buried somewhere in a pile of junk in my house, because when I saw that thing it was just too hilarious for me not to purchase it

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:58 (eight years ago)

^^^ you're not the only one... (NSFW obviously)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-drxdYedUU