a divorce thread

i think there are several cursive albums about it, but they're not really my thing

https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/5929c138c0084474cd0c32d6/1:1/w_600/07bf23e1.jpg

xp oh yeah I totally forgot about Domestica. That album does nail it, at least those specific circumstances. Not sure everybody relates to the "marriage is a battle" angle of it all but "The Night I Lost the Will to Fight" is brutal

i've been listening to turn around a lot but not because it reminds me of my divorce

it's a great track about a crappy relationship for sure though

kind of one sided though

Domestica is a good one if you experienced a prolonged bout of combative cohabitation

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/13/The_Meadowlands_%28Front_Cover%29.png

Wrens' Meadowlands is a brilliant divorce/break-up album. It's got all the messiness, ugliness, elation and disillusionment of divorce/break-up, wrapped raw and unrelentingly in blinding curveballs of songs. It's killer.

yeah it's a perfect album. Never really registered the divorce angle before somehow (maybe be I used to listen to it so long ago) but every time I revisit it I'm amazed how well it's held up

Got sad to see this thread bumped, glad it was just about art.

Not having experienced it, my guess is the reason that there are so few good films about divorce is similar to the reason that there are so few good films about lung cancer.

what would you say is the cheapest divorce you can get? best case scenario, both people don't really have anything of value anyway, no children, a desire to spend less than $50 each on it, and for it to be as quick and uncomplicated as possible. asking for a friend.

look at your local courthouse's website, they likely have something in the family law section about filing an uncontested divorce. or just go to the clerk's office (may be a separate domestic/family clerk) and ask to file one. i don't know IL law but you may have to live apart for a year first though.

i mean your friend and their spouse

Joint Simplified Dissolution of Marriage, looks like minimum 6 months separation

oh for fuck's sake, my friend will say

but thank you harbl, very appreciated

divorce laws and procedures in the U.S. are VERY different depending on which state you live in

looks like the 6 months separation in IL can be used as proof of "irreconcilable differences", but it's not mandatory.

The only grounds for divorce recognized in Illinois is irreconcilable differences, which some people call no fault divorce. Illinois law defines irreconcilable differences as the “irretrievable breakdown” of a marriage. In such a case, the spouses are required to prove to the judge’s satisfaction that there is a breakdown in the marriage, that all efforts at reconciliation have failed, and that future attempts to reconcile would not be “in thebest interests of the family.”

Irreconcilable differences can be proven by showing that the parties have lived separately for at least six continuous months prior to the divorce action.

god, i hope they don't appoint incredibly nosey judges

judge: "have you tried listening to her? have you tried treating your anger as your friend?"

i'm not sure from that last sentence if you're correct in your interpretation. the clerk or the form they give you will be able to tell you for sure. here when a year was the requirement (i believe it has changed now) you had to have a witness testify that they know you and know you were separated for a year.

i looked a bit more into it and came upon this: https://www.illinoisdivorce.com/grounds-for-divorce

these seem to be the salient parts. it looks like as long as both people are in agreement, it can go pretty quickly:

Illinois no longer recognizes "grounds" for divorce. There is only one option: "irreconcilable differences." Irreconcilable differences needs little definition. Technically, to be granted a divorce, one must prove:

irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage;

past efforts at reconciliation have failed, and

future efforts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family.

750 ILCS 5/401

The Six Month Separation Period: You can live together, file for divorce, finalize it the same day you file, and go back home and continue living together. The six month separation period is not a requirement -- it is an option. Living "separate and apart" for at least six months creates an irrebuttable presumption that irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

...

Skipping the Waiting Period: If you want to get divorced NOW and don't want to wait, that's easy enough. You need only prove the three elements laid out, above. It's simple if you both agree. You may use our Quick Online Divorce service and we'll give you a script to read to the judge at your hearing; or you may hire us to represent you in court. You'll answer 20 questions; every answer will be "yes;" ( "yes . . . yes . . . yes . . . yes"); and you'll walk out divorce. It takes about ten minutes.

divorce research typo hell #666: "you'll walk out divorce."

yeah i'm just probably being a paranoid lawyer and imagining a judge being like really skeptical and asking too many questions of people who don't wait but that's because i don't like judges and you will probably sail through with one who just wants to process 100 divorces today

but that's probably a good habit for a lawyer. :)

thanks harbl!

i think i may go full tim heidecker and represent myself in court. it will be the least expensive, quickest divorce in IL history because my partner and i are still pals and we both have a deep desire to not make this complicated at all

i'll be sure to make clear to the judge that i am going for a state record. judges LOVE that shit!

i promise it will be very mundane for the judge. they also won't let you go fast because there are questions they have to ask to make sure no one is being coerced and stuff.

i did something very similar to this (in tx)... all it took was filing the appropriate forms, get my spouse to sign off on them (we were in agreement about divorcing as simply as possible), then i went and represented myself in court. the judge asked me a few questions... just double checking about our division of assets and that we sure about divorcing. it cost me little more than a morning off work to get it done.

that's good to hear! i am still going to try to beat your record, though

Crazy that I posted to this thread 8 years ago.

i received a card in the mail, signed it in front of a notary, and that was it

I did my own divorce =|

It helps that I worked in a family law firm for a year before as a paralegal. Can’t say I recommend it though. It’s like digging the grave of your marriage by yourself.

I also fucked up some fine print that resulted in my divorce getting entered in February instead of the very last day in December which added an extra year of marriage for tax purposes.

I would also advise to take a deep breath, count back from 10, and maybe you'll feel all right.