Best opening lines

"Here's a penny for your thoughts...incidently, you may keep the change."

You Made Me Feel - Trash Can Sinatras

every thousand years
this metal sphere
ten times the size of Jupiter
floats just a few yards past the earth

you climb on your roof
and take a swipe at it
with a single feather
hit it once every thousand years

’til you’ve worn it down
to the size of a pea
yeah I’d say that’s a long time
but it’s only half a blink
in the place you’re gonna be

Built To Spill - Perfect From Now On

IT WAS THE BIGGEST COCK YOU'D EVER SEEN

BUT YOU'VE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COCK HAS BEEN

"Back in the days when I was a teenager
Before I had status and before I had a pager
You could find the abstract listening to hip hop
My pops used to say, it reminded him of be-bop"

excursions, tribe called quest

"you'll find me in a berlin bar, in a corner brooding" -- kate "saxophone song"

"I'm not a lover, I'm a fighter, and I will burn your house down, I will eat your children alive, and I will turn your lovers bones into tiny violins to play when you die" -Antartica Takes It "I'm No Lover" (fits in the album openers thread, too)

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray

"IT WAS THE BIGGEST COCK YOU'D EVER SEEN"
I've always HATED that linee
has Always come off to me as look at how risque we can sound whith this opening line to our album
yheah we're fuckin bad

I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song,
I'm twenty-two now but I won't be for long.

I got a letter from the government the other day,
I opened it, and read it, it said they were suckas.

it's britney, bitch

Ha, I was gonna say Black Steel.

"There must be some way out of here, said the joker to the thief."
--Bob Dylan, All Along The Watchtower

"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. I went out for a ride, and I never went back."
--Bruce Springsteen, Hungry Heart

"Ice, baby. I saw your girlfriend and she's eating her fingers like they're just another meal."
--Pavement, Summer Babe

"She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge."
--Pulp, Common People

I'm about to have a nervous breakdown
My head really hurts

(and the eternal)
MY SMILE IS STUCK...I CAN NOT GO BACK TO YOUR FROOOOOOWWWWNNNLAAAAAND

Sometimes I try to do things and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted to. I get real frustrated and I try hard to do it and I take my time and it doesn't work out the way I wanted to. It's like I concentrate real hard and it doesn't work out.
Everything I do and everything I try never turns out. It's like I need time to figure these things out. But there's always someone there going: "Hey Mike, you know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately. You know, maybe you should get away and maybe you should talk about it, maybe you'll feel a lot better...

I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song,
I'm twenty-two now but I won't be for long.

― Mordy, Monday, 23 March 2009 10:56 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Simon and Garfunkel?

it's britney, bitch

― Surmounter, Monday, March 23, 2009 1:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Simon and Garfunkel?

Billy Bragg / "A New England"

"this is a sad fucking song"

Hi Dad, I'm in JAIL

Simon and Garfunkel?

Billy Bragg / "A New England"

― Shannon Whirry & the Bad Brains, Monday, 23 March 2009 16:11 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Also: Leaves that are green, Simon and Garfunkel.

"You've only got one finger left, and it's pointing at the door"

"Hey the fuck it's me, buddy
smash the ones who smash the free -
until they're gone, the world will end (yeah)"

I meant S&G version, but yeah, Billy Bragg too.

"The bugger in the short sleeves fucked my wife"

John Cale, Guts

"I am not Jesus though I have the same initials"

Pulp - Dishes

"A long time ago
I looked at myself
and said you, you are my darling."
- Meat Puppets, "Up On The Sun"

I know that this was corrected upthread, and I know that most of the time, Meat Puppets lyrics could just be any goddamn thing, but this is hilarious.

"people of earth, attention."

"I caught it in the face."
--PJ Harvey, "Dry"

That word "broadminded" is spelled S-I-N."
--The Louvin Brothers "Broadminded"

"Someone's got it in for me. They're planting stories in the press."
--Bob Dylan "Idiot Wind"

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street

And daaavid OTM about "Dishes". That opening line rules. :)

"The Sun Is Up, I'm so happy I could scream"
(The Cure: "Mint Car")

BURN THESE SHEET THAT WE'VE JUST FUCKED IN

SHEETS*

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey

I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit,
But my dog refused to look at it,
And so I got drunk and looked at the Empire State Building,
It was no bigger than a nickel.

Baby cried the day the circus came to town 'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her,
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown while she danced without a net upon the wire.

Melissa Manchester, Don't Cry Out Loud.

Disarm the settlers
The new drunk drivers
Have hoisted the flag
We are with you in your anger
Proud brothers
Who do not fret
The bus will get you there yet

Announcer: This is ANOTHER public service
announcement brought to you, in
part, by Slim Shady.
Eminem: (whispered): Tell 'em I don't give a fuck
Announcer: Slim Shady does not give a FUCK...what you think!
Eminem: Tell 'em to suck it
Announcer: If you don't like it, you
can suck his fucking cock!
Eminem: Tell 'em they kissed my ass
Announcer: Little did you know, upon
purchasing this album, you have just
kissed his ass!
Eminem: Tell 'em I'm fed up
Announcer: Slim Shady is fed up with your
shit...and he's going to kill you!
Eminem: Yeah
Announcer: Uh...anything else?
Eminem: Yeah...SUE ME.

It's like a jungle
sometimes it makes me wonder
how I keep from going under

lol geir

Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat.

***

"Always on the outside, always looking in
I was in a drop-D metal band we called 'Requiem'"

***

BASS!
How low can you go?

***

When you were young you were the king of carrot flowers

Ein bisschen Goethe
Ein bisschen Bonaparte
So soll er ausseh'n
Der Mann, auf den ich warte

?!!?!?!

IT WAS THE BIGGEST COCK YOU'D EVER SEEN

― ilxor, Monday, March 23, 2009 3:54 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

BUT YOU'VE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COCK HAS BEEN

― ilxor, Monday, March 23, 2009 3:55 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

ILXOR got there before me