people that YELP are scumbags

changing it to "maester"

Yelp kinda feels like a thing that's circling the drain in terms of cultishness maybe? it still exists as a repository for reviews but i feel like that whole elite shit peaked half a decade ago. maybe i'm wrong, i haven't done a deep dive on yelp in a long time.

It remains a useful first pass if you're in an unfamiliar place and hungry and want to know "which of the things I can see from here are awful?"

".. because that's where I'm going! Fuck you, tastebuds!"

recently came to the realization that 'yelp' is both a pun on 'help' and 'yellowpages'

pun or portmanteau?

we should start a review site called Hello!pages which reviews places based on whether or not the employees greet you with a "Hello!" or not, grading them also on tone and sincerity, whether or not they make eye contact, etc.

Cheesecake Factory - Sherman Oaks, CA

Upon entry, the hostess looked up and smiled. She walked around towards our party of three and asked, "How many?" I was taken aback, having expected to be greeted with a "Hello" first. "Hello," I replied sarcastically. "Three."

Why not say hello first? Why ask how many when there are only three? Very confusing.

2 stars for the friendly albeit possibly forced smile.

omg nomar

uh god why did you make me do this search

https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/party-city-chesapeake-5?select=-rylWJSXvAjKvqfB821tcA

"I didn't like your response to my hello, so I'm going to clandestinely take a picture of you and shame you on the internet! That'll show you!'"

This user, like June Chu, is "elite" btw

hilarious but hate sherman oaks anyway so they cancel each other out

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:ABHqDdDCjIYJ:https://www.yelp.com/user_details%3Fuserid%3DrsbYWHKl4TXJGBcYlEWTyQ+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

the bio stuff is pretty fun

She keeps going out to dinner with these large parties!

That doesn't seem all that far-fetched to me, tbh. Unless it's an anniversary or Valentine's Day date, my wife and I tend to do dinner with at least 3 other people when we go out, if not more. (We had two separate standing groups of 7 ppl who would do regular dinner dates every other month before we had kids.)

you social butterflies

can't think of anything worse than going to a resto with a party of 11

institutional racism
domestic abuse
slavery
sexual assault

yeah, but how do you split the bill when some friends are archaeologists and others are struggling ex soap stars?

everyone throws in a card and pays an equal share; it all evens out the more often you go out together and if someone buys something egregiously expensive, they should have the grace to say "1/3 of this bill is me so I'll cover that and you all split the rest"

but what if I have a cup of chili

and only a cup of chili

Servers love it when you give them 11 credit cards

one person pays. others venmo appropriate amount to payer. payer rotates for equal distribution of airline miles, cashback, etc.

can't think of anything worse than going to a resto with a party of 11

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, May 17, 2017 1:31 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

heck going out to eat with more than 5 other people is all but guaranteed to give me a panic attack

I will pick up entire dinner tabs to avoid having to have a conversation about splitting the bill

I will pick up entire dinner tabs to avoid having to have a conversation about splitting the bill

― softie (silby), Wednesday, May 17, 2017 3:33 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YES

can't think of anything worse than going to a resto with a party of 11

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, May 17, 2017 1:31 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when those 11 fux0rs are children

...and you're eating at a bar (ಥ﹏ಥ)

we should start a review site called Hello!pages which reviews places based on whether or not the employees greet you with a "Hello!" or not, grading them also on tone and sincerity, whether or not they make eye contact, etc.

― nomar, Wednesday, May 17, 2017 12:58 PM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what you just described is the website yelp

Hello," I replied sarcastically.

Hello, is it cheesecake you're looking for?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/05/17/yale-dean-once-championed-cultural-sensitivity-then-she-called-people-white-trash-on-yelp/?utm_term=.b929c939db23

see above

yeah, this is an update? I posted above

4420n 8 in the comments has an idea

What's new in the update? At first glance it looks the same to me.

ah I guess the original was updated to say she was put on leave

I'm going to say it because no one else has the courage. This branch is nothing but African American employees in a predominately white neighborhood. I think they despise the fact that they have to wait on white people all day long. I've never witnessed such miserable people. I think they have a running contest of who can work the least. They turned three people away trying to buy stamps in my 20 minute wait to find a package that they never found. That's right, the POST OFFICE had no stamps. The woman would declare, "We don't have no stamps!" and the customers would leave with a WTF look on their faces. I guess it would make too much sense to send someone up to the nearest post office, which is about a mile away, and pick up some stamps to sell.

i want to award him a gold medal for his courage

every city has at least one post office like this imo

that is to say, a post office where you have one set of ideas about what you're going to accomplish going in, and your ideas are quickly adjusted into a different set of expectations

this post office is uniquely horrible. i will grant him that. it also has lines full of horrible customers who do not understand how to mail. he doesn't need to be racist about it though.

just about every single post office i've been to in los angeles is absolute garbage and pretty much everyone i know agrees and has expressed frustration going to one

i just assume every post office in la is horrible now

phew good save mh

it closes for like an hour and a half for "lunch" in the middle of the day

I always wonder where these horrible post offices are I keep reading about and I guess the answer is LA

Nobody mails anything any more, I feel like every post office I've been in this decade has been empty, no line, friendly clerks seemingly happy to have something to do

Also tbh I too would take a 1.5 hr lunch break if the rest of my day were racists rolling their eyes at me

haha thanks badg

I typed that and thought "oh jesus I'm a horrible racist now" and popped back in

I also just wanna say that I had a great fucking lunch today because of a long, informative, and highly complimentary Yelp review of a restaurant a block from me in the unfamiliar neighborhood where I was working, so sometimes people that YELP are godlike heroes

Also tbh I too would take a 1.5 hr lunch break if the rest of my day were racists rolling their eyes at me

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, July 6, 2017 10:06 PM (eleven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i assume this is what serving Yelpers anywhere must be like