EFL My Concubine - Football League and beyond 2016-17

two for ryan sessegnon, born when 'oops i did it again' was #1

haha actually no it was #2... 'don't call me baby' was top :)

can feel a rough equalizer slouching towards Molineux

c'mon you hoops, last minute winner pls!

Wolves‏Verified account @Wolves 54s54 seconds ago

90+3 It's almost heartbreak for Wolves. The ball is whipped across the box and falls to Ajayi 2 yards from goal. He skies it over the bar.

i just can't

this is Rotherham

Congrats on a heroic win NV :)

You too Calzino. Shame Leeds didn't lose but it's nice that Hudds is walking away from them.

Wagner beat the MOM curse as well, which is pleasing considering the amount of moaning from Bellend Rd about him receiving it after his act of villainy (celebrating a late goal in a local derby game).

we didn't lose at home to walsall, tony watt did a thing

I've had more fun in a dentist - Fuson sack Lambert and get Pardew in

you...have to...laugh...

could badly do with Girl With Curious Orange watching Blackburn get smashed on Tuesday

'We need a manager who shares our values and who is prepared to develop the team.

'The Brighton game was so far from what we expect to see from those wearing a Derby County shirt.'

I do wish Mr Candy Crush had sacked the useless fucker before the Brighton game and lol at the very idea that pissing away too much money on average players represents values rather than just thoughtless blunt force going badly wrong.

some clueless cunt in the Express & Star will be calling for Shteve to get the Wolves job tomorrow, have no fear

Well he has done a few big jobs in his time!

jumbo jobbies!

Looking from the outside it's strange how quickly things have gone wrong for Wolves. It all looked fairly promising a few weeks ago when they spent all that money on Helder Costa and won at Liverpool in the FA Cup.

I feel bad for Paul Lambert and I'm not entirely sure why. He looks like the manager of a Glasgow curry house that's slowly going down the tubes.

We play Wolves immediately after Blackburn, and I feel like we're going to give one of those teams a boost. I know every supporter of every football team in the world comes out with this old OOH THESE ARE THE SORT OF GAMES WE LOSE schtick as a kind of reverse jinx, but we lost 4-0 at home to Bristol City this season so I feel it's justified. Fulham like to fart on dreams just as surely as Tim Ream stealing a hat-trick off a 16-year-old.

sounds like we've been hammering on Brentford's goal the whole 2nd half and just when i thought it was all over, boom, equalizer

plenty of time to concede, like

BOOOOOM

you're not forgiven yet Lambert, sit down

and Fulham go in front, no evening can be this perfect

FINISHED

Blackburn equalize - commiserations Curious - but suddenly we're 4 points above the drop zone with a game still in hand and Lambert has earned himself the right to stay until the next time we drop points and/or i have a couple of drinks

GET IT UP YOU FRANCHISE CUNTS :)

well done

About fucking time!

i know they're all endlessly watchable but this is outstanding

https://twitter.com/Crap90sFootball/status/842285231726051328

I'm sure I saw Hudson in that clown-shoes melee. We have shipped 17 goals in 4 of the recent games Hudson has started, and last night as well as having a defensive mare he took out our midfield lynch-pin in an accidental collision. Not his fault, but you can't replace Hefele with someone who would be too slow for a conference side without expecting a major team dynamic collapse.

new Lambert was the right man for the job

you'll have some problems hanging onto that hot-shot Edwards this summer!

I'LL TAKE A FIVER

C'mon Leeds, for the first time in my life i want you cunts to score!

http://i.imgur.com/1jBfiJW.jpg

https://twitter.com/Official_STFC/status/844947798554529792
https://twitter.com/Official_STFC/status/844949753473503232
https://twitter.com/Official_STFC/status/844981098501287936

https://youtu.be/Yi4hNLvZVPM?t=616
That is bizarre, apropos of nothing I found myself watching this earlier - where the Luton chairman had a bogus phone-in to choose the new manager and give it to Mike Newell anyway!

Our director of football has made an untidy exit to Norwich, well I read something earlier about him getting put onto temporary garden leave so it doesn't sound like the cunt was giving out goodbye kisses. It looks like they are trying to blag Heckingbottom from Barnsley as well. Hope they fucking fail as dismally as one of Delia's shit recipes that tells you to use processed caramelised onions to save time.

His first act should be to give big Cam a 5 year contract extension of course!

I'm getting the feeling he is an overrated corporate twonk myself, with a bit of bitterness because I know he will doing his upmost to break up the band next season. But this guy was head of recruitment at Wolves when they signed Clarke for 750k and Saville for a million, he can't be all that!

Leon still can't believe we paid that much for him, never mind me

Looking at your local rag, when he was came to us it was a promotion from Chief Talent Spotter at yours to Director of Football, so in other words as a no.2 he could take the credit for the decent signings and say Leon who?

Tbf the non-Wagner signings have been inspired, but some of that can be pure dumb luck and not necessarily a skill to bring elsewhere. Some of our lot seem to think he discovered Wagner, but he was on the verge of being offered the Liverpool no.2 spot and had a long association with Klopp. Hardly under the radar really.

scuse the bad engliss

Wheeler (88' minutes), Brown (90'+1 minutes), Reid (90'+2 minutes)

some comeback is that

hope Tim chronicles his post-match drinking on the UK beer thread

something with a hint of preserved fruit and slightly jammy taste maybe?

Hahaha I saw we were 3-0 down and decided not to think about football for a bit. Went to the alehouse. Have only learned of that comeback from this thread. For once I could chronicle my drinking on the UK beer thread because I found out (while not thinking about football) that Tiny Rebel Clwb Tropicana is (improbably) delicious beer that tastes like Five Alive. Anyway now I'm drinking gin so I'm doubly off-topic.

:D thanks for the tip! devon is YOURS (even though you drew)

wait yeovil is in somerset I knew that

have had like 5 beers too fyi

CHAMPIONS!

(ps I have been drinking a bit celebrating)

congrats! what league are you in next?

Evostik Southern, currently being won by Chippenham but also featuring Leamington, Hitchin, Frome and Merthyr (which if Cinderford go down will be our derby match. In another country. Unless Worcester get relegated.)

hey i support leamington too :)
good luck next season!

I say Southern, it might be Northern yet as it all depends on the sides that come down from Conference North/South and their effect on the two Evostik prems. Plus last year there was a court case by Cinderford because they didn't want to go up (they claimed it was because they couldn't afford the travel, far more likely just upset they were going to miss the Hereford payday as we'd swap between leagues at the same time - which is exactly what it looks like will happen. For context why that might be the case, Bishops Cleeve took more money on the day we were there than in the entire 12 months previously.)

Just reflecting on how bizarre Saturday actually was. Salisbury had acted, in all honesty, a bit like dicks in the lead up. We had a minor altercation and three neds on the pitch away at Didcot a few weeks ago, and some Plymouth fans tried to cause trouble (with no effect) at Bideford the week after. Salisbury told the police there were riots at our home games and cited the erroneous Mirror and BBC reports which said there were 100 on the pitch in a mass brawl at Didcot, then tried to stiff us for the entire policing bill at their ground. They then sold only to our season ticket holders and wouldn't let us do a fully traceable sales package. There was a half-hearted attempt at suggesting an overall ban, which got scaled back to "don't spend a penny in the ground". (Which was actually very well observed, I only saw one person eating chips and two with a hot drink all afternoon and piles of food to be thrown out on the burger van - who presumably hadn't been told by the club about the boycott.)

Anyway, in the end we won and the other results were going our way. This is where we begin to give Salisbury and their stewards lots of credit. The home fans all go home, but there are 10 minutes added on at Evesham who are 1-0 up and need to win for us to win the league. The players are all standing about the D and EVERYBODY is watching Twitter because of course we are all following Evesham and Taunton. With 8 minutes over played, Taunton get a free kick on the edge of the box. Some people think about going home. The keeper claws it away to the left back, who hoofs it up the pitch and Evesham score a second on the break. We could maybe start celebrating but many a slip etc... it takes about another 5 minutes before the ref blows up there. SCENES at Salisbury. Then the stewards, whose biggest worry had been a pitch invasion, decide to open the gates and let us on to celebrate with the team. And bless them, it was about half an hour before they asked us whether we had homes to go to. So fair play to them, they could have just sent us packing at the first opportunity.

Still feels a bit surreal, consecutive promotions. It'll settle in eventually.

that explains the bit I read about probably Evostik Southern. wasn't sure if that meant promotion wasn't a formality.

level-headed stewarding is always a bit surreal tbh