pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

BOOMER: here is a participation trophy
MILLENNIAL: *whoops from fifth note to scale to third and back*

whoop there it is

katherine otm

Explore Elliott Smith’s Iconic Either/Or in 5 Minutes

Explore Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks in 4 Minutes

noticing a trend here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB2di69FmhE&t=61s

https://theawl.com/internet-video-is-lies-34ee5b3a4ccb

the beguiling Explore John Cage's 4"33 in 4"36

a new low:

Most crucially, The Sophtware Slump countered the pre-millennial tension of trip-hop, Timbaland, and Radiohead with Y2k’s definitive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ album

the future of music criticism: listicles and emojis

I struggle to understand how this Ian Cohen guy continues to get work

You left out half the sentence, and it's a pretty good description all in all.

All in all, this is as good a two-sentence band summary as can be hoped for, imo:

Grandaddy are still a state-of-the-art 2000 band, the sum of slack-motherfucker indie rock, the mid-fi experimentalism of Sparklehorse, and just enough of Mercury Rev and Flaming Lips’ late-’90s prog sweep. Most crucially, The Sophtware Slump countered the pre-millennial tension of trip-hop, Timbaland, and Radiohead with Y2k’s definitive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ album, speaking to people who came of age during the tech boom and felt like the 21st century could only promise shinier distractions from the same old pervasive suburban boredom.

Pitchfork may be dumb, but this new feature 'Name Dropping' is brilliant. Good idea, good editing, and Michael Bolton is a good sport:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqQYUjAA8kI

Yes, I enjoyed that. Michael Bolton seems like a pretty likeable guy.

Only two reviews today?

also that's not an emoji

haha, that bolton thing has legit funny moments

"Pitchfork to Review Key Albums From the Notorious B.I.G." 👏👏👏

Tomorrow, Pitchfork will commemorate the 20th anniversary of his death by reviewing four key albums in his catalog.

oh so just the big four then?

they all suck

yeah i noticed the only two reviews

there's so much good new music coming out i don't get why they couldn't have a full slate every day.

unless of course preparing reviews for two biggie albums and two sorta-biggie albums was too much to handle

damn that's crazy, only 2 albums per day? end of an era

they all suck

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, March 8, 2017 1:41 PM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

BOO YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!! baby BAY-beh

as annoying as many elements of pitchfork dot com have gotten over the years, albums reviews are still top notch

this is the first day i've noticed only two reviews, usually it's four reviews per day

gotta make room for booze ads and links to non-music news!

wait shakey doesnt like biggy?

west coast guy

that's... not an excuse

It's partially true that the Jay-Z/Biggie axis just didn't circulate as much out here, but that's not all of it. I can pinpoint watching the "Big Poppa" video as the exact point at which I realized that rap as a mainstream pop phenomenon had morphed into something I definitely did not like and tbh my opinion has never changed. Puffy was a blight on the genre, and his success was emblematic of everything that went wrong from that point on imo. I don't really care about his canonization, and while I will agree that he was a solid rapper I just hate the sound and the nihilistic mythology of his two records.

Pac's martyrdom/mythology isn't really much better but he at least had singles + producers + collaborators that I liked

Can you pinpoint watching the "Juicy" or "Hypnotize" videos and recognizing that they're some of the most incredible rapping to ever appear on a mainstream single?

*crosses shakey off list of ppl who can play my super nintendo & sega genesis*

I realized that rap as a mainstream pop phenomenon had morphed into something I definitely did not like and tbh my opinion has never changed

did you ever bother to listen to the actual albums and hear non-commercial, amazing songs like "the what" or "machine gun funk" or "10 crack commandments" or "warning"?

xp lol, i was gonna say this has the makings of a good ol' fashioned nerd fight and HERE WE ARE

with pitchdork banner in the background

sponsored by conde nast

you know what really might change my mind about Biggie? some retrospective Pfork reviews

i didn't want to spoil it shakes...but...you are in for a treat :)

birthdays was the worst days
for clicks pitchfork is so thir-stay

lol

classic m@tt responses itt

shakey have you really tried? like really?

Everyday Struggle? Unbelievable? Suicidal Thoughts? the ones shakedown mentioned?

I'm too old to "try" to like things - of course I know 10 Crack Commandments and Suicidal Thoughts c'mon bro

i just dont know man. cant fathom dislike for big on those grounds.

Yes, I enjoyed that. Michael Bolton seems like a pretty likeable guy.

the baconing of Michael Bolton is some bottom-tier kitsch barrel scraping imo. dude forever belongs as a punch line in an 80s Weird Al song.

NEVER GIVE UP SHAKEY YOU CAN LIKE A RAPPER YOU'RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL!!!!

I feel like I don't get anything lyrically from his records that I couldn't get from Scarface tbh, whose stuff just *sounds* better. but to be clear a lot of my dislike of his catalog is how poorly served he was beat-wise - in contrast to the sample-heavy or g-funk stuff that immediately preceded him, to my ears a lot of what he got was short, shitty loops over shitty drums and it grates on my ears. for the most part the post-golden age rap stuff that I like that crossed over into pop success - whether it's Wu-Tang or Timbaland/Missy or various southern guys - just had more going on sonically. he was a solid rapper but that's not enough for me. and then when Puffy shows up to interject some nonsense I'm just like arrrrrggggh get me outta here

xp

the man invented the remix, show some respect fer chrissakes

lol

I feel substantially older than lil yachty btw

the baconing of Michael Bolton is some bottom-tier kitsch barrel scraping imo. dude forever belongs as a punch line in an 80s Weird Al song.

speaking of:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Bolton's_Big,_Sexy_Valentine's_Day_Special

i have to say, i went into it with my eyes already rolled, but after a rough first 10 minutes my eyes gradually rolled all the way back around to the normal position and i ended up watching the entire thing

the baconing of Michael Bolton is some bottom-tier kitsch barrel scraping imo. dude forever belongs as a punch line in an 80s Weird Al song.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, March 8, 2017 5:30 PM (fifty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ten years ago you could easily have said the same thing about Blink 182, Bruce Hornsby, Janet Jackson, George Benson, and Wilson Philips, all of whom have since been canonized thanks to millennial garage punkers, Bon Iver, poptimist critics, stoned balearic djs, and corny Haim people, respectively

sunrise, sunset bro