OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Though the following exhibit came out in 2013, I maintain that it is the worst piece of music writing ever committed to pixels:

http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/what-if-you-dont-like-beyonces-album/

When I was standing in line to validate a parking ticket after American Hustle, “Pretty Hurts” was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t get it out, even after sitting in a theater honed in on another piece of media for nearly three hours. Those are the moments that matter, and they never happen immediately. That’s how I was proven wrong.

When I was standing in line to validate a parking ticket after Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, “The Chicken Dance” was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t get it out, even after sitting in a theater honed in on another piece of media for nearly three hours. Those are the moments that matter, and they never happen immediately. That’s how I was proven wrong.

this one time at band camp

lol, the byline is a good kicker

well there's this
http://louderthanwar.com/221207-2/#.WMevy6R8hts.twitter

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/nicki-minaj-is-out-to-prove-shes-better-than-remy-ma-a-1793221838

i mean, not the worst. just painfully earnest and long and sorta unreadable.

a good editor coulda saved it, but we don't have those anymore

well we do, they're just not employed to edit

I've liked a lot of Everett True's writing through the years, not such a fan now he's dismissing music on the grounds of being made by a "beardy ginge". It's almost enough to make me try listening to Ed Sheeran.

https://everetttrue.wordpress.com/2017/03/18/ed-sheeran-is-shit/

good music made by a beardy ginge or beardy ginges: Vivian Stanshall, Average White Band - who else?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ae/VanMorrisonMoondance.jpg

https://img.discogs.com/CBcxJjd3tW_kqS9CmCEWBLRenQ8=/fit-in/300x300/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(40)/discogs-images/R-2555007-1290292012.jpeg.jpg
my fave dead beardy ginge

http://www.trezhombrez.de/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/towerfestband01.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0e/d6/7c/0ed67c09dbe142f40ebcc694266fcdc9.jpg

http://cdn.pitchfork.com/features/9512/a4b83d5d.jpg

http://www.kalamu.com/bol/wp-content/content/images/sun%20ra%20purple%20night%20cover.jpg

absolutely shocked that E True wrote something in the style of a pissy 15 year-old

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/s9WRZvLCalQ/hqdefault.jpg

absolutely shocked that E True wrote something in the style of a pissy 15 year-old

― Pengest & Corsa (Noodle Vague), Sunday, March 19, 2017 10:19 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

so True, funny how it seems

Not enough comparing of aquariums to blue construction paper or mentions of the interiors of geodes for my liking. Ed Sheeran is shit, though, so there is that.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5b/Fela_Kuti_Live.jpg

This review of the new Harriet Tubman album is kind of amazing...if you want to read the author's (actually pretty positive) thoughts about the music, you have to skip to paragraph 14. He had some stuff he wanted to get off his chest first, though.

https://www.allaboutjazz.com/araminta-by-budd-kopman.php

wow

yikes

how dare SJWs politicize a band called Harriet Tubman

the n-word "Nazi"

lol

BUDD KOPMAN seems like such a computer generated sock-name for a jazz reviewer as well, mind you so does Harriet Tubman!

So, who really are the fascists?

hmm, indeed

Now, what does all of the above have to do with Araminta by the band Harriet Tubman? The given name of Harriet Tubman the woman was Araminta Ross, hence the name of the album. Politically, the message is hardly controversial in that they are preaching to the converted.

Musically, however, the story is entirely different

Sad lols. This guy's lost the plot.

Trump, Brexit, Marine Le Pen and Geert Wilders represent some of the voices and actions that are saying "No more! We are defending our culture!" This self-evident attitude is considered so horrifically shocking and immoral that college students have to retreat to their "safe spaces" so as not to be infected by "white privilege."

i... uh. ok... hm. *slowly backs away*

http://s3.amazonaws.com/production.mediajoint.prx.org/public/piece_images/82867/Dino_Play_Bass_Jazz_it_up.gif

I don't mind reviews where people go off on little odysseys, that good person who did the Thelonious Monk review for P4k did it well recently. But this cunt needs to be taken around the back and put out of his misery.

I strongly suggest checking out Budd's personal page.

https://www.jazzatbudds.com/

You are on the official website of Budd Kopman. I am a regular reviewer at AllAboutJazz who gets a kick out of being able to combine my love for jazz with computer programming.

I'm still pondering the image at the top of the page, of course.

I suspect Don van Gorp will be particularly amused by this page:

https://www.jazzatbudds.com/musings.php

the 'musings' section makes me think of an ilx thread with those three posts, then "11 years pass", then dozens of paragraphs ranting about sjws

is he a professional reviewer or is AllAboutJazz a website where anyone can set up an account and start posting stuff?

WASTEMAN

is he a professional reviewer or is AllAboutJazz a website where anyone can set up an account and start posting stuff?

The latter.

the game of trying to figure out who online is a reasonably well-adjusted person and who is just sitting alone in a room pounding on a keyboard alone coming up with hateful ideas of the world at large

brb the cat just walked in, need to see what he wants

melvin gibbs' response to the araminta review:
https://www.facebook.com/melvin.gibbs/posts/10208792547123250

aaj editor michael ricci's apology (the review has been taken down):
https://www.allaboutjazz.com/jazz-in-the-age-of-the-politicization-of-everything-araminta-harriet-tubman-by-budd-kopman.php?pg=1

I didn't get to see the Kopman piece before it was taken down, sound like I'm not missing much though

sorry, i meant to link this too (gibbs preserves/reposts the original): https://www.facebook.com/melvin.gibbs/posts/10208795027665262?pnref=story

I didn't get to see the Kopman piece before it was taken down, sound like I'm not missing much though

yet another chance to test your rage aneurysm threshold / eyeroll capacity

gibbs piece is excellent, if perhaps too kind

I cannot begin to convey the degre of shock I experienced when, after all that buildup, the album review turned out to be positive.

idk I don't think you necessarily need derrida to take down that review

Hasn't this clown noticed that Wilders lost?